On the outskirts of Ponyville, in a little cottage surrounded by animals of all kinds of shapes, sizes & species, the sound of loud snoring resonating from inside. The source was coming from underneath a blanket with a goat's leg, a long, red draconic tail and a lion's paw hanging from underneath as a large lump laid on the bed, a smaller one next to it. Moments later, a loud yawn was heard as the lump stood and stretched out it's extremely abnormal body.
It had an oddly long neck to go with the rest of it's overly tall figure, a dragon's right leg and a goat's left, a lion's paw as a right arm and a chicken leg in the form of a left arm, a deer antler, a horn from an unknown creature, and two small wings on it's back.
The creature spun around as it's body wound up and made a few cracking noises. It stopped as he began to lose his grip and began to spin out of control. As the haphazard creature stopped, it groaned as it's eyes began to spin. The creature groaned again as it slammed it's hands against the sides of it's head, stopping it's eyes, which were rather oddly colored.
Where any other being's eyes would be white or bloodshot at least, his were a mustard yellow, and the irises were a crimson red. And the last noticeable oddity about it was that there was a large, sharp fang protruding from it's upper lip.
He sighed and looked out the window of his new home and the first day of his new life in Ponyville, for he was the King of Chaos, a Master of Mayhem, the Emperor of Insanity...
And a total idiot.
"Hey!" the being whisper-shouted at the narrator in a little annoyance, "This is a story about how awesome I am!"
Whatever you say Dis, whatever you say.
"Oh just do your job and narrate!"
Whatever, anyway, Discord walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead, but not before he walked towards the opposite side of the bed, gently nudging the smaller lump.
"Oh Fluttershy~. Wakey-wakey~!" he sang as he waited for a reaction from the other being.
The sound of a tiny yawn came from the lump as a small, pale yellow Pegasus with long pink hair came from underneath the large blanket, her large, sparkling eyes were a bright cerulean blue. She looked up at Discord and smiled softly, "Oh, good morning Discord. How did you sleep?"
The draconiques smiled at her and shrugged, "It was much better than being trapped in stone for over a millennia, that's for sure."
She giggled and nodded, "Well, I better go feed Angel and the others." she said as she hopped out of bed and trotted out the door of the bedroom.
Discord sighed and smiled as he walked into the bathroom and turned on the water, waiting patiently as it slowly warmed up. He sighed and snapped his fingers as boiling hot water shot from the shower head. He smiled at this and stepped in as the water pelted him like millions of little bullets.
"Hearts, as strong as... What was that lyric again? Hmm... Hearts as strong as... Er..."
Horses you bonehead...
"That's rig-- Hey!"
He shouted once again at the disembodied voice, making him look ridiculous, if not flat-out crazy.
"Oh shut it."
As he finished his shower, Discord walked out with a bath towel around his body and another wrapped around his head. He dried himself off and walked downstairs into the miniature petting zoo known as Fluttershy's living room. He sat down in his chair as he snapped his fingers and a book appeared in his hand. He opened it and seemed to read through it until he ripped out a page and ate it.
Fluttershy trotted back into the room and saw him doing this, taking the book from him. "Discord, what do you think you're doing?" she said with a stern tone of voice as the draconiques looked at her.
"Uh... Having a 'before breakfast' snack?" he said with a little smile.
Fluttershy sighed and looked at the book, opening her eyes wide, "Wait... This is just a blank book. Where in Equestria did you get this?"
He shrugged, "I don't know. I just conjure up stuff and it appears. I don't have some sort of tracking device to pinpoint and take exactly what I want." he explained.
"Oh... Well still, no eating before breakfast. You can have this back after." she said as she placed it next to her on the counter as she sang and started making their breakfast.
Discord groaned and crossed his arms defiantly, leaning back in his chair like a spoiled brat having a tantrum. "Oh shut up you stupid voice in my head!"
Oh please, you need me. I wrote this story and I can make anything happen. Watch this. Ahem, Discord then stood up and did the chicken dance.
"Wait, what?" he then shot up and put his arms in position, flapping them like wings as he clapped and everything else. "Okay, okay! Stop it already!"
Hahaha! Fine, I had my fun. Discord sat back down in his chair and leaned back.
"Ugh... Never... Make me... Do that... Ever again..." he groaned and let his body melt into the chair.
As he caught his breath, Fluttershy came back with two plates of pancakes on her back as she spoke, "Excuse me, Discord? Could you please help me?"
Discord sighed and stood up, floating over and taking the plates off her back, placing them on the table. He then pulled Fluttershy's chair out and placed her in it softly as he pushed it in. He hovered over to the opposite side as he pulled out his chair and sat down across from Fluttershy as they began to eat.
Fluttershy looked up to her mixed up counter part who seemed to pull a newspaper from thin air and spoke hesitantly, "Um... Discord, I'm going to be busy all day today, so I won't have much time to play with you... Okay?" she asked worriedly.
"Hmm? Oh, okay, not a problem my dear Fluttershy. I shall surely find something to do today that shall not bother you." he said with a smile as he continued to eat.
When they both finished their stacks, he washed and re-stacked the dishes into a nearby cupboard and closed it. With that, Fluttershy went off to start her day with the animals and such. Discord looked outside and smiled, "Well... I'm sure one of the other ponies around here would love to play a quick game with me! I just have to find out who." he smiled big and hovered through the door, setting off to find someone to play with.
And for him, it meant to bother the living hell out of somepony... Poor souls...
"Shut up!"