Rarity on DXM

by Majin Syeekoh


Bass Cannon

Rarity smiled as she finished the final stitches on Fluttershy’s new dress, which was orange around the barrel and had a purple train, satisfied with her work. She decided to celebrate by listening to some music. Knowing where the record player was by heart, she dizzily scuffled over to the box of vinyl records she kept and flipped through them. Let’s see here...Horns’N’Roses, no...Primitus, no...Rage Against Trixie!? Heavens no! She was checking through all of her records until one caught her eye:Wubadubdub, Motha*****S!!!! by Vinyl Scratch. Rarity lifted it up in her magic, drunkenly examining it.

Pinkie Pie had gotten it for her as what was presumably a joke, for she didn’t think much of this ‘dubstep’ and she found the title most inappropriate. However, it’s the only record I haven’t listened to yet….and it seems to be calling my name. Sighing, she lifted the needle on the record player, slipped the record out of the folder, placed the record on the player, and rested the needle on the record. She then turned the record player on.

Rarity started tapping her hoof to the electronic noises coming out of the record player. Hmmm, not bad. Maybe it’ll sound better louder, though? Rarity tried to access the volume knob with her magic when to her frustration she found that she was vexed by its location. Rarity sighed and stumbled over to the record player. Makes sense. I usually never really use it except for ambient noise. She made it to the record player, which seemed to take a bit longer than it usually did, and located the volume knob, which was set to three.

She studied it, noticing that it went up pretty high, stopping at eleven. Rarity mused on the knob for a bit. Should I really turn it up that high? Confused, she reached for the folder that the record was previously located in and read the back. Most of it was writer credits and publishing information, but there were also a loud-looking recommendation across the bottom that read: For best results, play it all the way to eleven! Rarity put the folder back in the record box, shrugged, and twisted the volume knob all the way to eleven with her hoof.

The effects were felt immediately as the ensuing aural assault blasted her perfectly styled coiffure and tail straight back, causing them to pulse with the rhythmic bass. The sheer magnitude of the audile attack on herself scrambled her mind and seared all the way through her soul, touching her very being as a smile danced across her face. The pulsing wubs had an effect on her body, causing it to harmoniously sway along with the music. Yes, I do find why this dubstep is so enjoyable.

----

Applejack was trotting to Carousel Boutique, bothered by the loud music somepony was blasting, causing Applejack to shake her head in dismay. Must be onnea tha neighbor kids...or probably Lyra. So she was surprised to find the source to be Carousel Boutique, outside of which she found a shivering Fluttershy. Applejack waved to Fluttershy and headed over.

“Hey, Fluttershy! What’re you doing here?” she asked.

Fluttershy gulped. “Well, Rarity was stitching me a new dress, and we were going to the spa afterwards—”

Applejack chuckled. “Whaddaya know, that’s why I’m here too! Rarity done convinced me to go the the spa with her. Said it’d help with ma cracked hooves…” she said as she stared down at her hooves, which were cracked from long days of working. “So what’re ya doing out here?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s too loud in there for me to go in.”

Applejack chuckled. “Now, now, Fluttershy, this is Rares we’re talkin’ about! How loud could it be?” she said as she opened the door to Carousel Boutique, when she was met with what must have been the loudest sound she had ever had the mispleasure of hearing, as her hat blew away, Fluttershy catching it handily. She slammed the door shut and turned away, her eyes bloodshot from the sheer audio attack that had been inflicted upon them. “Holy Toledo that’s loud!” She nodded to Fluttershy in appreciation as she handed her her hat back, fixing it on the top of her head. She then steeled herself. “If’n we’re gonna get Rarity’s attention, we gotta turn that music off!” With that, she put a hoof on the top of her hat. “Fluttershy, open tha door. I’m goin’ in.” Fluttershy’s eyes widened in shock.

“Really? But your eyes have been damaged by the force of the bass!” Applejack shook her head.

“And imagine what Rares is goin’ through! It’s something I’d do for a friend. Now open the danged door!” Fluttershy nodded hesitantly and stood to the side of the door, opening it with a wing. Applejack’s very skin seemed to be peeling off at the force of the music, but she bravely strode in, upon which Fluttershy slammed the door behind her. Applejack was pinned to the ground upon the door slamming. Sighing, Applejack shook her head and slowly crawled towards the record player, which Rarity was mindlessly swaying in front of. Inch by inch, Applejack dragged herself across the floor of the boutique until she reached the player, slowly lifting her hoof off of the ground and shutting it off, standing up upon doing so. Rarity’s mane fell flat to her sides as she turned her head to Applejack, where Applejack saw that her pupils were as wide as saucers and she had a bit of a blush to her. Ah don’t lahke the looks a this. Rarity giggled.

“Now, now, whyever would you do that?” she said as she turned the record player back on, causing Applejack to fly into and roughly slam against the opposite wall of the boutique, her body pinned a foot above the ground due to the sheer sound emanating from the record player. Rarity started gagging and turned the music down, upon which Applejack slowly slid down the wall onto her haunches, shaking her head. Rarity then brought a waste paper basket to her muzzle, gagging all the way, then let out a red stream of vomit from her mouth as Applejack watched in horror.

“Rarity, what’s wrong—” and Applejack was promptly cut off by another jet of vomit escaping Rarity’s mouth, which Applejack retched at upon seeing. “Rarity, what in the—” and Applejack was interrupted once more by puke jetting out of Rarity’s mouth. “Rarity—” and she was interrupted yet again by Rarity barfing into the waste paper basket. Finally, confident she was done, Applejack asked, “Rarity, what in the hay is wrong with ya?”

Rarity chuckled while breathing heavily as she placed the waste paper basket filled with the red emesis back in its location. “Whatever do you mean, Applejack?” Applejack raised an eyebrow at the way she said that. It was both drunken and mechanical at the same time. Applejack slowly stood up and shook her head. She knew what this was.

“Rarity, why don’t you come with me to Twilight’s and we can have sommea those teacakes that you like?”

Rarity chuckled at the suggestion. “I’m not feeling so hungry right now, Applejack. Sorry.”

Applejack started sweating. “Well, then, how about some tea to get the taste of vomit outta yer mouth?”

Rarity shook her head. “I don’t really taste anything.”

“Well, then, would you do it for a friend?”

Rarity thought on that for a second. “Yes, Applejack, I’ll do it for a friend.” Rarity then started walking in the most odd manner towards Applejack. It was as if she were a marionette or as if her legs were clockwork devices, slowly lifting and dropping them as opposed to striding. Applejack smiled nervously as Rarity closed in. Rarity then grasped the record with her magic and brought it to her in the same jerky motion that her legs were making, twitching her head apropos of nothing. “Can’t forget this,” Rarity said, giggling. “Who knew dubstep was so heavenly?” Applejack kept smiling as she led Rarity out. “That’s strange, I feel like I’m still inside,” she said as she looked around the clear blue sky in wonder, Fluttershy staring in disbelief as the odd way that Rarity was walking.

Applejack passed by Fluttershy and whispered into her ear, “We have a Code Twi on our hands. You know the drill.”

Fluttershy nodded uneasily. “Y-yes. Check the premises for anything suspicious and report back to Twilight’s when I find something.”

Applejack nodded and winked at Fluttershy, then headed towards Rarity, who appeared lost. “Which way is it to Twilight’s, again? I can’t seem to get my bearings...”

Applejack winced, then smiled as she took her hoof. “Right this way, Rares.” They both walked off to Twilight’s house as Applejack looked back to see Fluttershy entering Carousel Boutique. Applejack’s smile quickly turned into a worried frown as she worried about exactly what got into Rarity’s system.