"Ah, Canterlot!" I said as I walked out into the opened and smelled the fresh air. "So fancy, so beautiful, so expensive! It's gonna cost a fortune expanding my shop here. But hey, I still have alot of money from when I was Jeff Gorspeed's crew chief, and let's not forget Rarity and Twilight have a good reputation here, so if anypony asks, I’m friends with Rarity and Twilight. Now all we have to do is pick a location! FOR GREAT EQUESTRIA! PRAISE THE WIZARDS!” I yelled.
"Excuse me young colt, but will you please tone it down?" a Canterlot pony by the name of Jet Set asked.
"Yeah, you're acting like such a child right now." Upper Crust said.
"Oh really? Can a child do this?” I asked as I placed both of my arms over my head. “See how flexible I am with my front arms? If only I was this flexible with my back.”
"Oh dear me.” Upper Crust said excitedly.
“My dear boy, how do your friends picture you?” Jet Set asked.
“I dunno, how do you picture me?” I asked.
“I said ‘your friends’, not us.” Jet Set corrected me.
“Everypony’s my friend, whether they like it or not, I less than three everypony!” I said.
“Well I’ll be. You don’t happen to come from Ponyville, do you?” Jet Set asked.
“I live there.” I said.
“No wonder he seems ‘redneckish’.” Jet Set said.
“Hey! I’ll happen to let you know that I’m nothing close to red neck! I’m a pizza shop owner. I was born and raised in Mareami.” I said.
“Whoa! Even worse!” Upper Crust commented.
“Yeah, I hear ya. I’ll take your word on that, brahs.” I said.
“Umm, did he just call us a woman’s clothing, dear?” Upper Crust asked.
“It so happens that he did.” Jet Set said. “We’ll keep the fact that you are indeed a child.”
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, your opinions are your own. Kay thanks bye!" I said with an attitude as I walked away from them. “Jeez, what was the problem with those two? They seemed more up-tight and wise-cracks than Sheldon Cooper.”
A cutaway shows a bunch of kids in a McDonalds commercial dancing and jumping around while singing ‘Put a Smile On’ with Ronald McDonald. “I don’t see what the big deal is. What are we smiling about?” Sheldon asked.
“Just smiling in general, Sheldon! We’re happy!” one of the kids said.
“You find it happy to be dancing around like maniacs and singing along with a clown that might be perverted?” Sheldon asked.
“Just smile, Sheldon!” one of the kids demanded. Sheldon does smile, but he does a sort of creepy smile that may remind you of joker from Batman.
“We’re here to do a McDonalds commercial, not kill Batman.” One of the kids corrected him. The cutaway ends.
So I continued looking around Canterlot, continuing to look for a spot for my new expansion. "Negetive! Can't find a good spot yet, but I will. Count on it!” I said to myself. "Oh hey look, a statue! Hi statue! Got any good locations I can open my shop?" I asked to a statue of Shining Armor. I started to climb on the statue’s back, and walked up to its ear and looked around. "No, I don't think there would be a good spot. Got any suggestions near the castle?" The statue doesn't say anything, but I automatically assumed to what it’s thinking, and I just went with it. “Yeah, I agree, places more near the castle are waaaaay more expensive. I’m telling you, it’s like eating at the Cheesecake Factory and ordering everything on the menu 10 times in a row! Which reminds me, Ponyville still needs a Cheesecake Factory. I should write them a letter, but first thing’s first.” I started to slide off the statue, and after I did so, I saluted the statue and said, “Thanks for your help! I hope to congratulate you on my grand opening speech once I open this Faust-forsaken shop.”
"Dear me! That pony seems to have gotten crazy." Swan Dive commented.
"I can hear you, sista.” I said.
"Young stallion, do you know where you are right now?” Swan Dive asked.
“I’m in Canterlot, so?” I commented.
“We’re civilized here. We’re not like that pittyful town Ponyville when you can just talk to every piece of stoned artwork that you can find.” Swan Dive said. I started to chuckle. “What is so funny?”
“You said stoned.” I said.
"You seem to act all childish, sir. Are you from Ponyville?" Swan Dive asked.
"I do live there, but I'm actually from Mareami. Down south of here!" I corrected her. "Beautiful beaches, and babes, and neon lights, and restaurants, it's beautiful down there!"
"You Mareami folk seem to act different. How about mature up and stop acting like such a child?” Swan Dive recommended, and then she walked away with her head facing the sky.
"Wow; the way she said 'Mareami' sounded pretty silly. Also, why do these uptight jerks always have their heads laying down on their backs and facing the sky? Do they need to see a chiropractor or something?” I asked.
“No, they just do that so they can avoid looking like me.” The Hunchback of Notre Dame said.
“Why do you take their word on it? They’re jerks.” I asked.
“My master says so. You know, you and I seem to have a lot in common.” The Hunchback said.
“Oh yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah, you talk to stoned statues like I do. Isn’t that right, Victor?” the Hunchback asked one of his gargoyle statues.
“I feel normal with you around.” I said.
A few minutes later, I went to talk with a real estate agent on an available property in the area, and he gave me a tour of the empty building. “And so this finest available property Canterlot has to offer! It’s only 20 yards away from the castle, the guard house is just around the corner so this place has pretty much the lowest crime rate in the entire city.” The agent explained.
“Alright, but there’s a slight problem with your statement of this being the finest Canterlot has available.” I said.
“And what might that be?” the agent asked.
“Well first off all, there’s graffiti on the wall. I can’t even read that. I don’t understand graffiti art. Are they trying to give a message to something? Because out of all the ponies I know, I barely know any that can understand this.” I explained.
“You can always have that painted.” The agent said.
“Uh huh, well that’s one problem, but what about the leaky sink in the kitchen?” I asked.
“Call a plumber.” The agent said.
“It’s squirting green water! I mean… green water! Not blue water, not yellow water, not even brown water! I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to be disgusted at all!” I complained.
“Well, look on the bright side: this place comes with chairs that are bolted on the floor.” The agent pointed out.
“Brah, what was this place before it turned into complete garbage?” I asked.
“By the looks of it, it’s either a barber because of the chairs, a sports bar because of all the TVs, a school because of the chalk board, or a funeral home with all the coffins stacked together like that.” The agent pointed out.
“This place is the ugliest place I’ve ever seen!” I complained. “I’ll take it!”
“Alright then! Let me get some paper work and-“ the agent paused for a second because he felt his phone vibrating. He took it out, and read a text that was sent to him. “Oh. Sorry, Mr. Gun. This place was already sold.”
“By who?” I asked.
“By me.” A cavepony said as he walked inside. “Me buy ugly businesses!”
“Oh hey, you’re Ug, aren’t you, from the We Buy Ugly Houses company?” I asked.
“Red pony correct.” Ug said.
“But I thought you buy ugly houses, not ugly businesses?” I asked.
“Me buys ugly buildings in general, ever since we caveponies got fired from Geico advertisements.” Ug said.
“Oh, right. Geico being so easy a cavepony can do it. I miss those commercials.” I said.
“Geico feel they better than us. They sell out Ug, they sell out googley eyed money stack too.” Ug said as he pointed to the googley eyed money stack standing next to him. “We get replaced by hump day camel.”
“What is that?” the real estate agent asked as he pointed to the money.
“That’s the money you could be saving with Geico.” I said. I then started to sing, “I always feel like, somepony’s watching meeee, and no privacy, who-oa.”
“You act like a child, you know that?” the real estate agent asked me.
And so, I continued looking for a spot to settle in, but since I was bored, I turned on my Ipod and played Crazy by Gnarls Barkley, and I sang it out loud. While I was singing it, I was dancing, and swinging on the street posts, and even singing in front of some of the ponies around town, placing arm around them and staring at them with weird expressions. When I was done singing I stood in front of an abandoned shop and peeked inside. "Oh this place might do!" I said. “It does look like there needs to be some renovations, but there’s nothing I can’t handle in here. Handle, like a door handle. Licking door handles is illegal on other planets.”
"Hey you there?" Lyrica Lilac called out.
"Excuse me, sista, but 'YOU' has a name." I said. "Flare Gun's the game, and pizza's my name! Wait, did I say it right? Anyways, I'm just about to look around this empty shop, and maybe this would be my new spot."
"Well I never!" Royal Ribbon commented. "The way you've been acting around here is nonsense!"
"Who do you think you are?" Caesar asked.
"I’ve always pictured myself as an alien from outer space. Lion face.” I teased. “Anyways, I’m thinking of buying this here building and making it the expansion of my restaurant: Flare’s Pizza Parlor!”
"We don't want your kind here." Lyrica said. "All you've been doing is acting like a child!"
"Wow! There sure are alot of unicorns in Canterlot! Way more than Ponyville! Can any of you do Bubble Shield?" I asked as I activated my horn and preformed my bubble shield spell. "Ta da! I had no idea how I did it though; the first time I preformed this. It just happened."
"Like you were unaware of what madness you put through in this town?" Swan Dive asked.
"Hey I remember you! You were that fancy-smancy mare down near the statue. How’s it going?” I asked.
"My boy, Canterlot is for ponies who can act their age." Swan Dive said. "Because of your singing, and your childish puns, it makes the actual children around here take bad influence. Plus, it’s ruining the atmosphere.”
"Nopony in Canterlot really likes to be touched in the way you touched us." Upper Crust said.
"That didn’t sound right at all. You may say you act like adults, but the way you say stuff makes you sound uptight and rude, more than Sheldon Cooper.” I said.
The second part to the Life of Sheldon cutaway gags takes place inside a rent a car driven by John Candy, along with Sheldon Cooper on the passenger seat whom is sleeping. Some ponies driving on another lane tooted their horn at John and his reckless driving. “Hey!” one of the other drivers yelled. John Candy tooted his horn back at them.
“Hey what’s going on?” Sheldon asked.
“Some joker wants to race.” John said.
“You racing?” Sheldon asked as he chuckled sarcastically. “First of all you were listening to loud music a little while ago while I was sleeping, at the same time smoking and driving, so it’s obvious that you failed your DUI test, I’m not sure how you’re driving. Second, your check engine light is on-“
“You kept saying my check engine light was on throughout the whole time we had this car!” John reminded him.
“Also, I believe we’re about to run into two trucks.” Sheldon pointed out. John looked up front and he and Sheldon started screaming as the car squeezed in between the two trucks with the sides flashing sparks as they rubbed against the metal of the trucks. The two continued screaming, and when Sheldon looked at Candy, he was in the form of one of Sheldon’s mortal enemies: Will Wheaten.
“Mwa ha ha ha! I tricked you into thinking my mema was dead! You’re so gullible Sheldon.” He said. Sheldon started screaming louder, even after the car escaped the gap between the two tracks.
“Sheldon what’s your problem? It’s over now.” John asked.
“I am the master of my own bladder.” Sheldon said. The cutaway ends.
"What is wrong with this pony?" Caesar asked.
"He's from Mareami, so I heard." Jet said.
"Wow, I'm becoming famous around here! Well, since you’re all here, who wants to see my flexible arms?” I asked.
"No! Dear heavens! No!” the ponies said all at the same time.
"Wow, you all jinxed it!” I pointed out.
"Here in Canterlot is not a place for slangs, or acting like a child." Swan Dive said.
"And Canterlot is not a place for Changelings either. But they came anyway.” I reminded them.
"They were attacking us." Upper Crust said.
"Look, if you all want to go hating on somepony. Go hate on Psyche, I believe he’s around here somewhere. He comes to Canterlot every so often.” I said.
"Look, what we're trying to say to you is; if you want to stay here in Canterlot and work, then you have to stop acting like a child. Business advice, my good man.” Jet Set said.
"I pitty the fool!" I yelled. "No... wait... I mean, I pitty the child! All your base are belong to us!"
"Just mature up, or leave." Jet Set said as all the fancy Canterlot ponies walked away from me.
"Hey, they're the inmature ones. They should've just been minding their own businesses." I said. "What makes them so butt-hurt of my personality? Lawl! I said butt-hurt! You know how funny that sounds?"
"Yes I do, sir." A fancy looking white unicorn wearing a tuxedo said.
“What? Are you gonna call me a child too now?” I asked.
“No, of course not! I find your personality simply divine.” The pony said.
“That sounds pretty cool! If only I knew what ‘divine’ meant.” I said. “I hear my friend Rarity say that sometimes, and she never told me what it means.
“Hang on, you’re a friend of Rarity? The pony that owns Carousel Boutique over at Ponyville?” the pony asked.
“My, my, a pony with such powerful friends.” A skinny beautiful white unicorn said while standing next to him.
"The name is Fancypants, and this here is my mate, Fleur Dis Le.” The stallion said as he held his hoof out in front of me. “It is a plessure to meet you, Mr….”
"Nice to be met!” I teased. “The name's Flare Gun, and I’m trying to find a place here to set up the expansion to my business.”
“Ah! Sounds like a big responsibility.” Fancypants said.
“Owning Flare’s Pizza Parlor IS a big responsibility.” I said.
“Flare’s Pizza Parlor, huh?” Fancypants asked.
“You ate there before?” I asked.
“I haven’t, but Princess Luna rumors good things about you and that restaurant.” Fancypants said.
“It was because of Princess Luna that I didn’t lose the will to make friends. I still owe her big time.” I said.
“She is quite an amazing princess, if I do say so myself.” Fancypants said.
“I know! But since these antsy Canterlot ponies were harassing me, I’m not sure if I should expand here. Maybe I should just expand in Cloudsdale.” I thought. “No, wait… how do I open a restaurant in a Pegasus only accessed environment?”
"My dear Flare Gun, these bunch of ponies like Jet Set and Upper Crust, they think they’re better than everypony else, don’t listen to them. Canterlot is more than just those bunch of ponies. Some ponies come from here, and they don’t act like bullies towards outsiders. In fact, there are some ponies here that act no different from you.” Fancypants said.
“So they act like children, huh?” I asked.
“Well, that is one way of looking at it, but my point is, you shouldn’t let them bother you. You should them what you’re made of! Show them you don’t want to get pushed around like this! Show them your style!” Fancypants instructed me.
"You’re right, Fancy-smancy panties-wanties- oh, do you mind if I call you that?” I asked.
“Not at all!” Fancypants said.
“I kinda like that sound of that.” Fleur Dis Le said.
“I’ll show those fancy ponies what it means to feel dat Mareami heat! They want child? I’ll show them child! Thank you for your advice, brah! I promise I’ll make it up to you in any way I can!” I promised.
"You're quite welcome, my friend! But… there is one thing I’d like you to do for me.” Fancypants said.
“Sure! Whatever you want!” I listened.
“Never stop being yourself, Mr. Gun. Never stop being yourself.” Fancypants said.
“Is there any other alternative? That doesn’t sound much of a favor to me. I still owe you one.” I said.
“Well, if you really insist. “ Fancypants said mischievously. Later that night, Fancypants and I started egging and throwing toilet paper at Filthy Rich’s house. “Like that, you Filthy Rich?! Next time you’ll think twice before dumping your trash in my swimming pool!” Fancypants yelled.
“Isn’t it a waste of baby chickens and trees to be messing up somepony’s mansion?” I asked.
“Oh relax, they’re griffon eggs, and these toilet papers are from highway rest stop bathrooms.” Fancypants corrected me as he continued egging and throwing toilet paper at the house. I just dropped everything and snuck away before the police come. I don’t think anyone has ever seen this side of Fancypants before, and it seemed weird, but that advice he gave me sounded like a good idea. I shouldn’t let the Canterlot ponies bother me, I should show them what I’m made of. So I returned to my trailer, and the first thing I did was look through my dresser. Spike came to visit shortly after.
“Hey, Flare! They’re having Double E-X-P week on Star Wars: The Old Republic right now. Care to join?” Spike asked.
“Sorry, brah. I’m right now planning a scheme to show those Canterlot ponies what I’m made of.” I said as I took out one of my blue vests from the dresser, but the vest was shorter than all the other vests that I normally wear.
“Are you giving me one of your foal vests?” Spike asked.
“What? No!” I said.
“Oh, cause I think I’d look pretty good in them. Combined with my trendy sunglasses, and my collection of toothpicks, I think I’d win over Rarity faster than a vampire can win over a human.” Spike said.
“Twilight’s a stupid saga.” I said.
“I wasn’t talking about Twilight. I was talking about Warm Bodies. You know, the movie with Johnny Depp in it? The movie that came from a soap-opera?” Spike asked.
“Oh right. Yeah, even that story was a better love story than Twilight.” I said.
“So anyways, why are you going through your foal clothes?” Spike asked.
"Everypony in Canterlot kept calling me a child, brah.” I said.
"So?" Spike asked.
"Do you think I'm a child, Spike?" I asked.
"Are you kidding, Flare? Everypony in Ponyville thinks you act like a child!" Spike said.
"That's a lie!" I yelled.
"Yeah it was." Spike teased. "But there were some ponies who said that."
"Who?" I asked.
"A couple of ponies." Spike said.
"Who?" I asked.
"Now you're sounding like Owlowiscious." Spike said.
"Who?" I asked again.
"Why do you have to do that?" Spike asked.
"Why?" I asked.
"Yeah, why?" Spike asked again.
"What?" I asked.
"What?" Spike asked.
"When?"
"Where?"
"How?"
"What?"
"We used 'what' already, now we have to use something else." I said.
"What are we doing again?" Spike asked.
"You tell me." I said.
"What are you talking about?" Spike asked.
Just then, I placed green and white striped propeller hat on his head. "Do I look like a child to you?" I asked.
"Yeah, pretty much." Spike said as he observes me. "But what are you gonna do about your size? You're pretty tall."
"I'm big for my age. How about that?" I suggested.
"So now that you're a foal again, what are you gonna do?" Spike asked.
"Well, I do what all foals do! I play and go to school, even though I don’t want to, and I give the teacher pathetic excuses about my pet dragon eating all of my homework.” I said.
"What about your shop?" Spike asked.
"Lyra and Bonnie should be fine without me." I said.
A cutaway shows Lyra and Bonnie going through my office supplies. "Why does Flare get to have fun all the time while we're stuck watching his shop?" Lyra asked.
"Who cares? With him gone, we get to do whatever we want!” Bonnie said. “Look at this! How many cough drops can one pony have?”
“Flare does cough a lot.” Lyra said.
“Yeah, but look at this; there’s also a… an M&M with a bunch of ants on it, there are some mints, an empty bag of Fritos, why is there a fishing lure in here? I didn’t even know Flare fishes. Anyways, what did you find, Lyra?” Bonnie asked.
“I found Spock’s head with no body, there’s Mr. T’s body with no head… oh here it is! Spock’s body with Mr. T’s head!” Lyra said as she takes out the Spock-Mr. T action figure and mimics Mr. T’s voice: “I pity the fool who’s illogical!” they both chuckled. The cutaway ends.
“So, Flare. How do you purpose to go through with this?” Spike asked.
“I’ll have my ways. Foals normally say and think nonsense, and everypony knows I’m the best at making nonsense, so I have the makings of a great foal!” I said.
“I’ll take your word on it.” Spike said. “But maybe being a foal here would be different than the foals back at Mareami.”
I stopped what I was doing and thought of what Spike said. “You know what, Spike? You’re right!”
“Of course I am! I’m a genius. I graduated school at a pretty young age, just like Twilight.” Spike said.
“I know next to nothing about being a Ponyville foal. I think I may need some teachers. Then that’ll show those ponies who doubted me what a child really is!” I said.
“Who’s gonna teach you?” Spike asked.
“I think I know of a few fillies that might be able to fill that spot!” I nodded.
The next morning came. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were hanging out in their tree house, thinking of ways to get their cutie marks. "I've got it!" Scootaloo yelled. "Let's travel around the world! We'll get travel cutie marks!"
"Hmmm..." Sweetie Belle thought. "Nah."
"Can you think of something better?" Scootaloo asked.
"How about we stay out in the sun longer than any other pony?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"You think that'll work?" Scootaloo asked. "All we'll get is sun burn."
"And a cutie mark maybe!” Sweetie Belle said. “Besides, by the looks of your skin, you’re already suntan.”
"I got it!" Apple Bloom yelled. "We should try making a TV show!"
"A TV show?" Scoots asked.
"Yeah!" Apple Bloom said. "If we became famous on TV, we can have our cutie marks by being famous!"
"That sounds like fun! Let's do it!" Sweetie Belle yelled excitedly.
"I don't know, girls." Scootaloo doubted.
"C'mon, Scoots!" Apple Bloom begged. "This isn’t just a chance of getting our cutie marks, this is our chance to shine as well!"
"Yeah, Scootaloo! It'll be fuuuuuuuuun!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well…” Scootaloo thought to herself, but as she was thinking, the CMCs heard a knock on the door.
Knock, knock, knock; “Apple Bloom?” Knock, knock, knock; “Sweetie Belle?” Knock, knock, knock; “Scootaloo?”
“That doesn’t sound like AppleJack. It’s mostly only AppleJack or Rainbow Dash that knock at this door.” Apple Bloom said.
“Doesn’t sound like another foal either.” Sweetie Belle.
“Trust me, it’s a foal.” I said from the other side of the door.
Sweetie Belle opens the door and is the first to greet me, "Hiya, Flare!"
"Sup sistas?” I asked.
"What brings you here?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Well my dear Sweetie Belle, that... is a long story." I said.
"Come on in, Flare! Let's hear it!" Apple Bloom said.
“Thank you, Apple Bloom!” I said as I walked inside.
“So what do you wanna tell us?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Excuse me, I’m a welcomed guest, are you gonna ask me to take a seat?” I asked.
The CMCs looked at eachother awkwardly. “Sure, Flare, take a seat.”
“Alright thank you! Although I never been here before, I have to choose a spot. Even though it looks like there’s only limited seating available. You really need more furniture.” I commented.
“Don’t worry about the furniture, Flare. What do you need?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“It’s a long story.” I said.
“Let’s hear it.” Apple Bloom requested.
"Everypony in Canterlot thinks I'm a child. The end." I said.
"That wasn't a long story." Scootaloo said.
"It felt long to me.” I said, I then smiled and said, “That’s what she said!” I started laughing.
"What in the hay does that mean?” Apple Bloom asked.
"My dear Apple Bloom. You'll find out some day!" I said as I patted her on the head.
"So why does everypony in Canterlot think you're a child?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Because they think I do childish stuff." I said. "So if I just act like a child, I'll show them what a REAL child can be!"
"So you came to us for advice?” Scootaloo asked.
"You read me like Fluttershy reads her spell books, sista!” I said.
"Twilight reads spell books, not Fluttershy." Sweetie Belle said.
"Well how am I supposed to know? I’m a foal, I don’t know better.” I said.
"So if you're a child again, what are ya gonna do?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Well... what do you girls like to do for fun?" I asked.
"We try different activities and try to get us to earn our cutie mark!” Scootaloo said.
“And today, we’re gonna try to get them by being TV stars!” Sweetie Belle said excitedly.
"That sounds like fun! Sign me up!" I requested.
"But you have your cutie mark already." Sweetie Belle pointed out.
“Yeah so?” I asked.
“To become a Cutie Mark Crusader, you need to be a blank flank.” Apple Bloom said.
“Alrighty then! Sounds simple!” I said. I looked around the room and ironically, I found red point in the corner, so I took a brush, dipped it in the paint jar, and painted it over my computer mouse cutie mark on each side of my waist. "You were saying?" I asked.
"You just put red paint on them." Scootaloo pointed out.
"Your point?" I asked.
"That was my point." Scootaloo said.
"Look it doesn't matter! Let's just go looking for our destinies!" I yelled in excitement.
"Yeah!" the CMCs all yelled as we all hoof bumped eachother, and I ran outside, but unaware I was in a treehouse so I fell to the ground. “I’m alright! This bush broke my fall! Why am I so itchy? Girls, what kind of blush is one three leaves on each branch?”
"Seriously? What has gotten into him?" Scootaloo asked.
“I’m not sure, but ah believe he’s goin’ through a mental breakout. AppleJack told me ‘bout one those. AppleJack went through that once when Big Mac hurt his waist and wasn't able to help her in Applebucking Season. Mental breakdowns ain’t pretty, especially with Flare.” Apple Bloom said.
“So what are we gonna do? We have a full grown stallion hanging out with us, and he’s acting like a foal.” Sweetie Belle asked.
“AppleJack said the breakdowns don’t normally last long. He’ll feel better before it’s time for school. Let’s just keep him happy. It’s not every day a full grown stallion would get to live his younger years.” Apple Bloom said.
“Well… alright, but every time I see that pony, he just gets weirder and weirder.” Scootaloo said.
“And it’s not that way with Pinkie Pie?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Good point.” Scootaloo said.
“I think I may need some Neosporin!” I yelled out from outside. “Holy Wizard of Feelings! My skin is burning! It’s turning red!”
“You were always red!” Scootaloo corrected me.
“Oh. Hey, c’mon! Let’s find our destinies already!” I yelled out.
“I have the feeling this is gonna be a loooooong day.” Scoots said. “Almost as long as the time I had that elephant roommate.”
A cutaway shows Scootaloo in a towel, and about to take a shower, but when she opens the curton, she sees her elephant friend sticking his head through the wall. Scootaloo screams in freight.
“Aaaaaaaaaah! Why you screaming?” the elephant asked.
“What are you doing?!” Scootaloo yelled.
“Sticking my head through the wall, what are you doing?” the elephant asked.
“About to take a shower? Do you mind?” Scootaloo asked.
“I’m sorry, but this room I’m in is so tight. It was either stick my head through the shower wall, or stick my feet through your room, and I see you have pretty cool stuff in there, so I decided to go with the head in the bathroom wall.” The elephant said.
“I don’t mind you doing this at night, but for now, I need to use the shower.” Scootaloo said.
“I don’t think that’s gonna happen. You see… my head is sticking out at the spot the shower is supposed to be, sooooo… the shower’s pretty much broken right now.” The elephant said.
“You’re kidding me.” Scootaloo said annoyingly.
“Hey if you want, you can use my nose as a shower. One of the pipes is actually inside one of my ears right now, so I’ll pretty much have endless amount of water coming out of my nose.” The elephant said.
“Are you mad? I’m not showering with you staring at me!” Scootaloo yelled.
“Relax, what do you have to hide? You never wear clothes.” The elephant reminded her.
“I just don’t like being stared at when I’m handling business in the bathroom, alright?” Scootaloo asked.
“The Flintstones don’t have a problem with it.” The elephant said.
“I only don’t have a problem with it because there are no showers where I am. I don’t have any other alternative.” Fred Flintstone said as he entered the room.
“Why does he get to be in here?” the elephant complained.
“He doesn’t. Both of you, leave!” Scootaloo demanded. The cutaway ends.
So the crusaders and I started walking around the outside of town, thinking of what to do. “So how about that TV show idea?” Sweetie Belle asked. I chuckled sarcastically. “What’s so funny?”
“It’s funny how three fillies can think of something that expensive.” I said.
“What do you mean?” Scoots asked.
“Well, you’ll need some equipment like cameras, a microphone, editing software, make-up, a crew, it’s gonna cost thousands of bits to require it all.” I explained.
“Well, I’m glad we learned that.” Scootaloo said sarcastically.
“Was that sarcasm?” I asked.
“Of course it was sarcasm! What else could it be?” Scootaloo asked.
“For all I know, you could’ve been hung over when you said that.” I said.
"What you think, Flare? How do you think we should earn our cutie marks?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I have one thing we can do. Follow me.” I said as I started walking towards the Ponyville digsite. The crusaders followed me through the digsite, and they were pretty concerned on where we were going.
“Where are we goin’?” Apple Bloom asked.
"You'll see!" I said.
"Do you even know where you're going?" Scootaloo asked.
"You'll see!" I said.
"That's not a 'you'll see' question, it's a 'yes' or 'no' question." Scootaloo corrected me.
"Here we are!" I said as I pointed to a cave with a sign that says Ponyville Mines.
"The Ponyville Mines?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Spike discovered this place a while ago, and he took me with him here so we can have a little fun!” I said. I then frowned quickly. “That didn’t sound right.”
"What kind of fun?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"All sorts!" I said as I lead the Crusaders down in the mines. "And that didn’t sound right either. Sometimes we come down to hunt for gems, underground products that are perfect to make spices for my pizzas, we prank the Diamond Dogs, and let's not forget the beautiful spring waters they have down here!"
“Is it drinkable?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Of course it’s drinkable, Sweetie Belle! It’s spring water!” Scootaloo corrected her.
“C’mon, girls! Let’s walk down the shtairs, shtairs, shtairs, and I’ll show you what it truly means to feel like a foal.” I insisted. So the Crusaders and I started walking down the mine stairs and we ended up in a cavern filled with gems and a water fall with a small river.
"Wow!" the Crusaders said at the same time, as they were shocked on the beautiful view of the caverns. Their eyes grew as they saw the gems and the spring waterfall up ahead.
"This place is beautiful, Flare!" Sweetie Belle said. "Rarity would sure love it down here!"
"Yeah, but what does this have to do for earning our cutie marks?" Scootaloo asked.
"Are we minin'?" Apple Bloom asked.
"This is mine! Lawl!" I teased. "No, but seriously these mines haven't been used in ages, so they said. But I don't come down here to mine." I then walked over to a mine cart track with a couple of mine carts in place.
"You come down here to ride the mine carts?" Scootaloo guessed. "That is so awesome!"
“I didn’t say I rode mine carts down here.” I corrected her.
“Oh… I see.” Scootaloo said as her excitement level dropped entirely.
“But I do!” I said excitedly.
“Wow! That is so awesome! I normally don’t say things like this, but you really got me there!” Scootaloo chuckled a bit.
"I don't just ride them. Sometimes I surf these carts! Have you guys heard of Cart Surfing?" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shook their heads.
“I have!” Scootaloo said excitedly.
"Well, then let me show you girls a good time!" I offered as I hopped on one of the mien carts, and Scootaloo followed.
"I dunno, Flare." Apple Bloom said. "It doesn't look safe."
"Oh you and your safety, Apple Bloom." Scootaloo teased. "Flare certainly has the right idea! Cart surfing might be a perfect way to get our cutie marks!"
“Or just to have fun in general.” I added.
“Or just to have fun in general!” Scootaloo nodded.
“I just said that.” I reminded her.
"But aren't you afraid to fall off the ledge or get hurt?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Hey, if that were the case I wouldn't be cart surfing now would it?” I asked.
“He’s got a point there, Apple Bloom.” Scootaloo said.
"But these tunnels are just tunnels, nothing to fall into. All you have to do is do a couple of tricks, and watch for the signs so you'll know to turn left or right." I explained.
"It'll be awesome making tricks in these mine carts!" Scootaloo said.
"Tricks? Silly Scootaloo! Tricks are for kids!" I teased.
"Aren't we kids?" Scootaloo asked.
"That's why we're doing this! Mischievious face!" I reminded her.
"Are you sure you want to do this Scoots?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Hey, I've been through worse. This is gonna be fun!" Scootaloo said.
"Now you got it, sista!" I agreed with her as Scootaloo and I high-hoofed.
"Ah what the hay. It does sound fun!" Sweetie Belle said as as she hops on the mine cart with us. "C'mon Apple Bloom!"
"Ah-ah don't think it's safe." Apple Bloom said.
"C'mon! It'll be fun!" Scootaloo said.
“Wish I had a bit every time you said it’ll be fun.” I said.
"AppleJack won't like it." Apple Bloom said.
"Hey, if you get punished, it'll be worth it! You'll be safe." Scootaloo said.
"Please, Apple Bloom?" Sweetie Belle asked. “We don’t want you to feel left out.”
“Hey, listen to you, Sweetie Belle. Talking for all of us. You don’t know what I want.” I corrected her. “But you’re right I do want that.” Apple Bloom just stood there nervously. She then sighs and smiled.
"Okay. LET'S DO THIS!" Apple Bloom yelled. We all cheered for Apple Bloom as she hopped onto the mine cart with us. I then used my horn magic to push the mine cart down the tracks to start up the ride. The mine cart started moving, but slowly, for now.
"Please keep your hooves and legs inside the cart at all times, and please watch your foals. Thank you!" I said in an announcer’s voice.
"Take it away, Flare!" Sweetie Belle said.
"Yeah take it away mon, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" I said in a Jamaican accent. I then used my magic to increase the speed of the cart. The cart started moving real fast like a rollercoaster, and Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and I had our hooves up as we were riding down the tracks. Apple Bloom was still a little frightened to put their hooves up, so she was holding on tight to the edges of the cart. After a little while, I saw another mine cart in front of us. I jumped onto the other mine cart and rode it down as the Crusaders watched. “Don’t try this at home, kids.” I said as I started surfing on that mine cart, preforming different tricks, such as spins and flips, and even tilting the cart off the tracks.
“Whoa! Flare Gun’s got some moves!” Scootaloo said impressively.
“That I didn’t know I had, but feeling like a kid again puts out of the best of you it seems!” I said.
“Ya know, you’re right! This is really fun! Gets the adrenaline running! WOOOO!” Apple Bloom yelled excitedly with her hooves in the air. Eventually the mine carts stopped at the end of the track.
“Please collect your belongings as you exit the cart. Have a nice day!” I said in a announcer voice again. The Crusaders and I all hop out of the mine carts and cheered.
"WOOOOO! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Scootaloo yelled.
"OOOH YEAH!" Apple Bloom yelled.
"I FELT SO ALIVE!" Sweetie Belle yelled.
“I FEEL MY STOMACH ACHING SO BAD RIGHT NOW! WOOOOO!” I yelled.
Just then the four of us took out doggy bags and all threw up inside them. As we all threw the bags away in the trash and started laughing. A picture then came out of the slot next to us. I took the picture out of the slot and showed it to the Crusaders.
"Aw man, my eyes are closed!" Scootaloo complained after looking at the picture.
"Wow! We look great!" Sweetie Belle commented on the picture. "We should totally ride it again!"
"Ah wish we could Sweetie Belle. But we have school, rememeber?" Apple Bloom reminded them.
"Forget school! Flare's an awesome child!" Scootaloo cheered.
"Trust me, our sisters would kill us if we weren't in school today." Sweetie Belle said.
"It's true, Sisterless Sam!" Apple Bloom teased Scootaloo as her and Sweetie Belle laughed.
Scootaloo started getting angry. "I never even told you if I had a sister or not."
"Ya never talk about her." Apple Bloom reminded her.
"Hey, hey. No need to argue. Let's just head over to the school! The four of us!" I said.
"Why you coming?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I'm a kid again, remember? If I'm a kid again I'm supposed to go to school.” I reminded them.
"Well, alright. That sounds pretty fun!" Sweetie Belle said.
"I’m certainly gonna less than three reliving school as much as I loved reliving puberty.” I said.
A cutaway shows me helping Pinkie Pie out in decorating Sugarcube Corner for a party coming up later on. “Hey, Flare? You wanna do something cool?” Pinkie asked.
“I always do things cool, but the more the merrier. What is it?” I asked.
“Put your mouth at the end of this balloon blower.” Pinkie instructed.
“Like this?” I asked as I placed the bottom of the balloon near my mouth.
“Now untie the bottom.” Pinkie instructed.
“With the balloon still in my mouth?” I asked.
“DO IT, FILLY!” Pinkie yelled. So I did what she said, and placed the balloon end in my mouth and untied it. The helium started blowing into my mouth.
“Whoa, Pinkie! That’s some strong stuff!” I said in a high pitched voice. “Holy Wizard of Strength, YOU TURNED ME INTO A GIRL!”
Pinkie started laughing. “You sound like a pretty filly, Flare!”
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!” I yelled in Pinkie’s face.
“Relax, Flare. Results may very.” Pinkie said.
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!” I yelled, but when I said ‘that means’, my voice turned back to normal again.
“See? Told you!” Pinkie said.
“Wow, I relived puberty again.” I said shockingly. “You know, Pinkie. Balloons are a silly type of birthday item. You go to somepony and say, ‘Hello, friend! Here’s a rubber ball filled with my oxygen’. Who would want used oxygen?” The cutaway ends.
As time went by, we all walked to the Ponyville school. All the fillies and colts were playing outside at this time, and it was a few minutes till class. "Going to school sounds wicket sick, and I mean that in a good way!" I said.
"If you say so, Flare. But just to let you know, most of the foals in our class have their cutie marks already, and that’s pretty much of a downhill for us; especially during kickball when we get chosen last.” Apple Bloom explained.
"And let's not forget Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon!" Scootaloo added.
"Why do you gals dislike them so much? There's nothing wrong with Crystal Hat or Gray Shovel." I corrected them.
The Crusaders then all laughed at my joke. "Crystal Hat and Gray Shovel. We should totally call them that." Sweetie Belle suggested.
"Hey guys!" Twist greeted us.
"Hey, Twist!" Apple Bloom said happily. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo gave her an ugly look on their faces, and I was picking his nose.
"What?" Twist asked.
"What, what?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Why do your friends always look at me like that?” Twist asked. Apple Bloom looked over at her friends, and they just smiled big with their teeth showing.
“Ah’m not sure what ya mean, Twist.” Apple Bloom said.
"How ya doin, Flare?" Twist asked me.
"I'm doing great, Twister!" I said. "After those Canterlot folks kept calling me a kid, I'm gonna act like one. See how they like it?”
"Alright, that's cool!" Twist said excitedly.
"Ah’ll see ya in class, Twist!” Apple Bloom said.
"Alright, see you guys there!" Twist said as she trotted away.
"I don't like her." Sweetie Belle said.
"Me neither." Scootaloo agreed.
"Aw c'mon girls, she's friendly. She's mah best friend." Apple Bloom said.
"I thought we were your best friends?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Yeah! What gives, Apple Bloom?" I complained. The Crusaders all looked at me awkwardly. "What?"
"Look, Twist is a cool filly. Ya just gotta get used to her." Apple Bloom said.
“Why do you hang with us all the time now instead of her then?” Scootaloo asked.
“We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Twist already has her’s.” Apple Bloom explained.
"Well, well, well! Look what we have here! The three blank flanks." Diamond Tiara shows up and teases them.
Her and Silver Spoon started to laugh, and they started hoof bumping and flank bumping themselves and said, “Bump, bump, sugar-rump, lump!”
“Bump, bump- wait, what?” I asked.
"Why are the three of you so dirty? Go cart surfing in the mines or something?” Silver Spoon teased.
“As a matter of fact we did! We went cart surfing with our good friend Flare here!” Scootaloo said.
“Oh, Flare. We didn’t see you there.” Diamond Tiara said as she embarrassingly smiles at me.
“Nice rhyme! So hey, my friends here say you two are giving them a hard time. Ooo rhyme again! And I gotta ask… why?” I asked. “Why do you girls have to keep teasing them?"
"Oh we're just kidding around, right Silver Spoon?" Diamond Tiara lied.
"Absolutely!" Silver Spoon nodded with a squee.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your pizza shop?” Diamond Tiara asked.
"Well the jerks over at Canterlot kept calling me a child, so I decided to become one.” I explained. "So yeah, you can tease me now too. Don't worry, I know it's all in good fun!"
Diamond and Silver both looked at eachother awkwardly. "Oooookay." Diamond said confusingly. "Umm, ha ha… Flare Gun's a blank flank. He's too old for… school?"
"WHAT?" I yelled angrily. "WHY I OUTTA!" Just then, I pushed Diamond Tiara over, and I grabbed her with my magic and trapped her on a high tree branch.
"But I hate heights!" Diamond Tiara yelled, and then she started crying. "HELP! HELP!"
"You’re right, she’s not a very nice filly.” I said to the Crusaders. I then smirked over at Silver Spoon. “You have anything to say, Gray Shovel?”
"No, no, nothing here. I find what you’re doing inspirational!” Silver Spoon lied as she was scared for her life.
"Wait until my father hear’s about this when he comes back after his lawsuit trial with Fancypants!” Diamond yelled. Just then, all the foals started cheering for me.
"Wow that was amazing, Flare!" Apple Bloom said excitedly. "She's certainly been a pain in our rear ends since day one!"
"You sure showed them!" Scootaloo said.
"Nopony likes a bully you know. I’ve had a bunch of bullies back in Mareami." I said. "Now give me your lunch money!" I demanded from Sweetie Belle.
A few minutes later the bell rang and everypony headed inside the school to get class started. Twist was about to get to her seat, but then I took it right before she sat down. "Hey, that's my seat!" Twist yelled.
“It’s not, it's my spot now! All other seats contain a draft from the windows, and that one has gum under the desk.” I explained. Snips started to whistle embarrassingly.
"Was that really necessary, Flare?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Sorry, here you go Twist, you want your seat back?” I asked as I stood up but the desk was stuck on my waist. “I’ll just sit over there and freeze to death over the drafts and get sick over the gum under the desk.”
“No, no, it’s alright. I’m good here.” Twist said as she sat down on the desk with the gum.
“See? She’s good over there.” I said to Apple Bloom.
“Ah heard what she said, Flare.” Apple Bloom informed me with glare.
"Good morning class!" Cheerilee said as she walked inside the classroom.
"Good morning, Miss Cheerilee!" everypony said.
"I hope you’re all feeling well, because today we’re learning- Oh, hello Flare!" Cheerilee said as she spotted me. "What brings you here today?"
"I have come before you today to learn the basics of young foal education, as you may be aware, I turned in my résumé to attend in your educational activities, because I wish learn to whatever a foal needs to learn.” I explained.
"I'm sorry?” Cheerilee asked.
"I'm in your class now." I said.
"You're in my class now?" Cheerilee asked.
"Affermative!” I said.
"Why?” Cheerilee asked.
"Do you not want me here?” I asked.
"I didn’t say that, I just wanted a reason for you coming back to school?" Cheerilee asked.
"I'm here to show those ponies in Canterlot what it means to be a child, because they kept saying I am one!" I yelled as I slammed onto my desk.
"So let me get this straight, you're here because everypony in Canterlot kept calling you a child?" Cheerilee asked.
"I'm here to show them what it means to be a child!" I said. I turned over to Featherweight, and I placed my hoof on his stomach. "Hey dude, you have something right here." Featherweight looked down, and then I zipped my hoof up to Featherweight's nose. "Mage'a look! Lawl!”
"Ow! That hurt!" Featherweight whined.
"Sorry about that, I'm just trying to be a kid again, and acting inmature is the way to go, or so it says on my research." I said.
"Oh okay! That's fine." Featherweight said.
“No it’s not fine.” Cheerilee said. “Flare, if you want to stay in this class, at least follow the rules. Don’t bully other students, because then I’d have to send you home.”
“No, Miss Cheerilee! Don’t send me home! I’ll be a good boy! I promise!” I begged.
“Well, to all my students on their first days, I always leave them off with a first warning.” She said.
“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee! I really appreciate it.” I said happily.
“This is certainly gonna be a long day.” She said to herself.
And so, Cheerilee started teaching to the class anyway, even with me there. Before I went to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders thing morning, I did some research on how children are supposed to act, and I got a lot of interesting info by watching Hey Arnold, and Beavis and Butt-head. I went and shot a spitball at Dinky Doo without anypony seeing. Dinky looked back at me and glared.
"What?" I whispered.
"Did you throw a spitball at me?" Dinky whispered back.
"No, I did not THROW a spitball at you." I whispered.
"Yes you did I saw you!" Dinky whispered.
"What's going on?" Cheerilee asked.
"Flare threw a spitball at me!" Dinky whined.
"I swear, I did not THROW a spitball at her." I said.
"Yes you did!" Dinky yelled. "You put an icky piece of wrapped up paper in your mouth, put it on a straw and shot at me with it!"
"Yes I did that." I nodded.
"Then why did you keep saying you didn’t?” Cheerilee asked.
"Because I did not THROW a spitball at her, I SHOT a spitball at her. That's different.” I corrected her.
"Ooooooh. I get it, you SHOT a spitball at me, not THREW." Dinky laughed. "Silly me!”
"Any child of Derpy is definitely a silly one!” I said.
“Why does everypony think Derpy’s my mom?” Dinky asked.
“Isn’t that true?” I asked.
“No, Derpy’s my aunt. Golden Harvest is mom, and Written Script is my dad.” Dinky said.
“Since when were Derpy and Golden Harvest related?” I asked.
“Flare, if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue the class, if you please.” Cheerilee asked as she started to get impatient.
More time went by, and everypony was doing a pop quiz. These questions were pretty easy for me, so I finished earlier than everyone else. I started whispering to Berry Pinch cause I was bored.
"Hey, I know your mom Berry Punch." I whispered to her.
"That's nice. I'm trying to work here." Berry Pinch whispered back.
"I'll give you the answer to number five if you have lunch with me." I whispered.
"No, thank you." She whispered back.
"Please?" I asked.
"I already have the answer to number five." She whispered back.
"How do you know if it's correct?" I asked.
"Because I don't interrupt classmates, unlike you." Berry Pinch said.
"So are you gonna have lunch with me?” I asked again. Berry Pinch just stayed silent and ignored me, so I kept trying to get her attention somehow. "Hey Pinchy? Pinchy, pinchy? Pinchy, pinchy, pincheeeeeey!" I attempted to pinch Berry Pinch, but I just remembered I had no fingers. I decided to leave her alone, and go to the next filly, Tornado Bolt. I moved my head over towards Tornado Bolt’s papers, and peeked at her answers.
"Do you mind?" Tornado Bolt asked as she blocked her paper.
"No, not at all!" I said.
"I mean, can you stop peeking at my paper?" Tornado asked.
"Of course I can!" I said as I smiled and squeed.
"Well?" Tornado asked.
"Well what?" I asked.
"Are you gonna go?" Tornado asked.
"Why?" I asked.
"Was I not clear?" Tornado asked.
"How am I supposed to know what color you were before?" I asked.
Tornado Bolt started getting really angry, and she slammed her head on her desk. I just awkwardly backed away. No need for other students to beat themselves up over my nonsense. I then turned over to Apple Bloom, whom was behind me.
"Pssst! Bloom?" I whispered.
"Not now, Flare." Apple Bloom said.
"Pssst! Bloom?" I whispered.
"I said not now." Apple Bloom repeated herself.
"Psssst! Bloom?" I repeated myself.
"Flare, I'm busy right now." Apple Bloom whispered.
"Psssst! Bloom?" I whispered again about 20 seconds later.
"Oh for Celestia's sake! What?" Apple Bloom yelled whisperly as she slammed her pencil on her desk. Wait, can you yell whisperly? I didn’t think it was possible.
"Hi! Lion face." I teased her.
Apple Bloom then gave me a glare. “Really, Flare? Really?”
"Seriously, may I have your answers? I can't guess them, they're too hard." I requested.
"I can't help you. This is a quiz; it's cheating." Apple Bloom said.
"Of course you CAN help me, you just choose not to." I corrected her.
"I'm not allowed to give you the answers." Apple Bloom said.
"Pleeeeeeeeease? I’ll be your best friend! No, wait, we’re already best friends. I’ll be your bestest friend!” I offered.
"Ah like you, Flare, but you’re really starin’ to get on mah nerves.” Apple Bloom said.
"Alright, quizes in please." Cheerilee requested.
"See? Now ya weren't able to finish your test, because of your procrastination." Apple Bloom said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked as I held my quiz sheet in front of Apple Bloom’s face. "I finished. See?"
"But ah thought you said you wanted mah answers because they were too hard?" Apple Bloom thought.
"Hard for you, but not to me!" I corrected her.
"You’re unbelievable, Flare!" Apple Bloom said annoyingly.
"Am I, Apple Bloom? Am I?” I asked.
“Ah’ll see ya at lunch.” Apple Bloom said with an attitude as she went over to Cheerilee to give her her test. Her her, sounds silly when you say the same word twice in a row.
After a little while, it was lunch time. The Crusaders were all outside eating their lunches, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon showed up to bully the crusaders, but then I came bursting out with my lunch and walked passed the two. “Excuse me, ladies.” I said as I walked by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. The two of them got scared and hid behind the tree as I sat down next to the CMCs.
"I didn't know Flare could be so mean. That jerk!" Diamond Tiara said. "We have to do something, Silver Spoon."
"What is there to do?" Silver Spoon asked. "He's a full-grown stallion."
"No he's not. He's a foal." Diamond Tiara corrected her. “I’m not sure what his problem is, but we should lay low until he gets tired of this and leaves.”
"So what do you girls have for lunch?" I asked the Crusaders.
"Flower sandwich again?" Sweetie Belle complained.
"Egg salad?” Apple Bloom complained.
"Spinach salad again!” Scootaloo complained. The crusaders all were grossed out by their lunches, and they all just threw them in the trash.
A mare popped out of the trash bin with the lunches the crusaders threw away, and she asked, “Why throw your food away?”
“We’re not gonna eat it.” The crusaders said at the same time.
“But somepony will!” the mare said.
“Huh?” the crusaders asked.
“You can sell your lunch at lunchbay.com!” the mare said.
“Lunch bay?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Dot com?” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo asked.
The mare in the trash bin takes out her laptop and observes the website to the crusaders. “Just enter the food you wanna sell, and wait for foals all over the world to bid!” she explained.
“But who would wanna bid on mah egg salad?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Or my flower sandwich?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Or my spinach salad?” Scootaloo asked.
“Stupid foals! That’s who!” the mare said as she looks at the target audience.
“Oooooooh!” the crusaders all nodded.
“And the foal who bids the most on your nasty food, buys it!” the mare said.
“Wow!” the crusaders said excitedly.
Just then, a week later, a filly over at Manehatten opens up a package she just got in the mail, and she takes out Sweetie Belle’s moldy flower sandwich, and she got excited. “I got a flower sandwich!” the mail pony gave a disgusting look.
Meanwhile, a colt in Fillydelphia also contains a package, and he opens it excitedly. “I purchased spinach AND egg salad!” he said. The mail pony nods at the camera creepily.
“Lunchbay.com! The convenient way to sell your disgusting lunch items!” the TV announcer says in the background.
“And make money!” Apple Bloom added.
“Dot com!” the colt from Fillydelphia said excitedly as he started eating Apple Bloom’s moldy and smelly egg salad. The cutaway ends. Oh wait, did I mention this was a cutaway gag? No? Well, you know now, so let’s return to me sitting at lunch with the CMCs.
"If you don’t like what your mom gives you, why not ask for something else?” I asked them.
“I pack my own lunch.” Scootaloo said.
“What do you have for lunch, Flare?” Sweetie Belle asked.
"One of my customers didn’t finish his eggplant dish, so I brought it home and saved it for lunch today.” I said as I took the eggplant out of my lunch bucket (that’s right, I called it a lunch bucket), and showed it to the CMCs.
“Eww! That’s disgusting!” Scootaloo commented.
“So, Flare, what are your plans after school?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Ever since a few nights ago, I’ve been listening to the song: Duel of the Fates from Star Wars, and I’ve been trying to guess what the chorus was saying.” I said.
A cutaway shows me listening to Duel of the Fates on my computer, while I sang what I guessed the chorus was singing. Here’s what I heard by singing it out loud: “Corn ooooof, Canadaaaaaaaa; you trrrrrrry… tunaaaaaaa. Totaaaaaaal… cereallllllll… comes from aaaaaaaa… milk coooooow. Totaaaaaal… teacuuuuuup… comes from a- Total, cereal, total, comes from, Cyborg, Jesus, Total, comes from, totaaaaaaaal, Draculaaaaaaaa, TOTAAAAAAAL! Milk cow fuuuuuuuuun!” I tilted my head back and forth as I listened to the instrumental after that. The cutaway ends.
While we were eating, Featherweight walks by taking pictures of everything with along Pipsqueak next to him. "So what are you going to put on the paper this week?" Pipsqueak asked.
"I have no idea Pips." Featherweight said. "But we sure are short on pressers. We need somepony to gather ideas for us."
"This is going to be so fun!" Pipsqueak said excitedly.
"Hey weren't you girls in the press once?" I asked the crusaders.
"We did, but it didn't go out so well." Apple Bloom said.
"I wanna join the press!" I said excitedly
"Don't bother. All there is in the paper is junk anyway." Scootaloo said.
"Not if I can help it!" I said.
"So you're gonna join the press?" Sweetie Belle asked while hanging upside down on the bench we were sitting on.
"Hmm..." I thought to myself for a few minutes. The Foal-Free Press does sound a lot like fun. After lunch was over, I went downstairs and talked to Featherweight.
"So you want to join the press, huh?” Featherweight asked.
"I’ve actually been thinking of becoming a journalist before I decided to open my own pizza business.” I said.
"Alright then.” Featherweight nodded. “How about going out there and getting some-“
"Yes, I'll get some news! I'm really good at that! I’ve got the best ideas there is!" I said as I smiled and squeed.
"That's good. Listen, I have to go to the doctor’s. Can I trust you in making a great news story that won't ruin other pony's lives?" Featherweight asked.
"As the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings as my witnesses, I promise to make the best news stories ever! And best of all: Featherweight, they’ll be pretty leet! I assure you!" I promised.
"Good! I'll see you tomorrow then!" Featherweight said as he walked out of the school’s basement and shut the doors behind him.
“What kind of lady is Cheerilee of making foals work in a basement? Only sickos do that. It’s too bad this school only has one classroom.” I said. I looked over at the camera that the photographer left behind, and I picked up. "Oh herp-derp how do I use this old thing? This is such an old camera. Even my first cell phone is a better camera than this, and it was Cingular. I bet none of these foals know what Cingular is. Those big shots at AT&T bought it out, just like they bought out Bellsouth, Southwestern Bell, CCPR Services, Pacific Bell, SBC Wireless, and SNET.”
"You have to use that camera. Those are the rules." Snips said.
"Screw the rules, I have future technology!” I yelled.
"Duh... wait. Is there even a rule about that?" Snails asked.
"You’ve been here for a while, Slugs, you should know what the rules are.” I corrected him.
"My name is Snails." Snails corrected me.
"Duuuuuh, my name is Snails, and I like pudding." I teased as I mocked his voice.
"I don't even sound like that." Snails said.
"You need to work on your disguising voice, Flare." Snips advised me.
"Says the colt that sounds like Bling-Bling Boy." I said.
"Who?” Snips asked.
“Bling-Bling Boy. You know, from Johnny Test?” I asked.
"Never heard of it." Snips said.
"Have you been living under a rock for these past years?" I asked.
"No, but Snails has." Snips corrected me.
"No wonder. They should call you Patrick Snails.” I teased and chuckled.
“Patrick Star is dumb. I’m not dumb like him. Right, Snips?” Snails asked his friend.
“You’re pretty much my only friend, so I advised myself not to answer that.” Snips said.
“Gee, thanks, Snips! You’re a true friend!” Snails said happily.
“Wow, wish I had a friend like that. The ponies I hang out with are either a silly blue mare with ACD, a replica from a game, a stunt daredevil with a sensitive personality, an aquatic pony who’s mind that’s stuck in the 17th century, and Psyche.” I said.
So I worked on the paper and published it before I left for home. The next day came, and I started walking back to the school for another day in the life of a foal. "Ah it's great being a foal again! It's time for Day Two! This is gonna be so exciting!” I said excitedly. When I got to the school, I saw everypony reading the Foal-Free Press paper that I released to the public last night.
"What is this?" a filly named Aura asked as she read my paper.
"Something hilarious, that's for sure!" Lickety Split commented.
"Dorthey the rainbow fish gets picked on by Rainbow the other rainbow fish?" Diamond Tiara asked while looking at the newspaper. "Spike the dragon beats Crysis 2? Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are names that can be changed, which makes you lul? Who wrote all this junk?"
"Who do you think?” Silver Spoon asked sarcastically.
"Flare?" Diamond Tiara asked in a low-tone.
"Flare." Silver Spoon said with a sigh.
"Snips sounds like Bling-Bling Boy?" Snips asked as he too was reading.
"Snails should be called Slugs, because he doesn't have a shell?" Snails asked while reading the newspaper upside down.
"Dude, how do you read upside down?" Snips asked.
"I'm reading this upside down? Looks fine to me. Maybe it's because my eyes are upside down." Snails thought.
And so, I walked up to the Crusaders, whom were sitting on a bench reading the newspaper I made. "Hello, my friends! Enjoying this week's newspaper?" I asked.
"This isn't even news. It's just comedy, telling opinions about ponies, and advertising your shop." Scootaloo said.
"As a matter of fact, you advertised your shop in all the pages." Sweetie Belle added.
"I know. I must keep business in shape, you know? I may be a foal now, but I still have my career to keep in balance.” I said.
"Flare, do ya even know anything about journalism?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Herp-Derp! How can I not know anything about journalism, when the proof is right here?" I asked as I pointed to the newspaper.
“Flare Gun, may I speak with you for a moment?” Cheerilee called out from the front of the school.
“Sure, Cheerilee! I’ll be right there!” I called out. I then turned to the crusaders and said, “Sorry, girls, the teacher needs me. Probably gonna give me something in her prize box after showing her class an entertaining way to see patterns.” I then walked over to Cheerilee to see what she wanted.
“This is starting to get out of hoof. It started off fun, but now this is getting a wee-bit out of control.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Ah thought he would’ve been tired of it by now? AppleJack said that.” Apple Bloom said.
“He’s taking this child thing way too seriously. Those Canterlot ponies really gotten into his head.” Scootaloo said.
“Well, not only is he acting like a child, he’s talking like one, showing off like one, singing like one; you remember in art class yesterday when he sang a polka about patterns?” Apple Bloom asked.
A cutaway shows Cheerilee along with her class, about to teach her next lesson. “Alright, students, I have a pretty fun less for you today!” Cheerilee started as she pulled down a chart from above her chalk board that showed different types of patterns. There were four different pattern pictures in the chart: the first one was a bunch of red and blue windmills, the second one was an infinite boxed vortex type pattern with circles and half-circles inside of it, the third was a pink background with blue trapezoids, and the fourth one was a bunch of stripes and a DNA shaped pattern. “Now what you need to know about patterns is-“ before Cheerilee can continue speaking, the windmill picture started to move and play music that contained a clarinet and an accordion. Cheerilee looked back at the picture with a concerned look on her face, and then she just shrugged and was about to talk about, but the boxed vortex picture also started to move and played the same type of music, but in a different miner. She just shrugged and was about to talk again, but then all the pictures started to move and play the music until a black duck pops out from one of the pictures, and knocks Cheerilee out of the way.
I started walking in front of the class with my accordion and played a polka about patterns, it goes: “From everywhere, I see them there, I stop and stare at patterns; I don’t care I must declare, I got a flair for patterns.” A pop-type sound effect played in the background. “On my hair the close I wear, my savoir faire is patterns…” most of the foals in this class just looked at me, confused on what’s going on, except for Teacher’s Pet / Truffle Shuffle whom was waving her hooves back and forth in the air. Apple Bloom facehoofs herself as she watches. “All I see is patterns, the patterns that repeat!” I danced over to one of the doors in the edge of the room and I said, “Let’s go into the bathroom!”
I popped my head out from the unviewing point of the floor, and I continued singing: “I know we’re in a room where you would not expect much math; usually you’re in here for a shower or a bath.” I slid open the curtons of the shower, showing Spike taking a shower, and wearing a bathing cap on, but he gets embarrassed and covers himself. “But if you gaze upon the floor, and if you’re kinda smart… you’ll see the repetition is like geometric art!” I looked down at the white square tiles and black diamond tiles, and the tiles started changing colors. “WOOOOOOW!” I yelled excitedly. “HAHA! Look.” I pointed to the floor. One of the square tiles flip over and reveal a twisty type of pattern that turns into a butterfly and flies away, and a couple of colorful circles start popping out from the floor; I grabbed the green one and before I knew it, I was flying over striped fields that you’d see in farmland from an airplane.
I inhaled real deep and continued to sing; “From everywhere I see there, I stop and stare at patterns…” a whistle sound effect played in the background. “I don’t care, I must declare, I’ve got a flair for patterns.” And then a slide whistle played in the background, and a puffin shows up and flies in front of me. “On my hair, the clothes I wear, my savoir faire is patterns, all I see is patterns…” just then, the puffin pecks on the green ball I was floating on, and I started to fall as a lends flair pattern showed up in the background. “… The patterns that repeat.” I sang. Right after, a type of pattern that you’d see inside a pattern scope started moving around as I danced in the middle of it and yelled, “HEEEY!”
Right after, I walked up on a stage, wearing a German polka outfit, and Spike was behind me in a tuxedo, drinking from a bottle. “A polkameister like myself never has to be bored, I just grab my ax and play some patterns on my keyboard.” I sang as I played a few A-miner’s from my accordion. “Now’s the time for earplugs if you care about your health…” I started to hold on tight to the ground as Spike plugs in a giant speaker behind me. “So stand back everypony! I’m gonna express myself!” I started to rocking out to my accordion as the speaker blows up behind. “Look at this! PATTERNS! I got blisters on my hooves now! WOO! HEY!” A pony that’s wearing the same outfit as I am starts playing the tuba near me. “Aw, get down!” I said as a polka drummer also showed up and played his drum as a speech bubble shows up above their heads along with a couple of star and spray can type patterns showed up inside the bubble. “Yeah!” Two other polka players showed up with a clarinet and a banjo, and they started to play a little melody in a pattern. “Help me, somepony!” I yelled out as random shapes started popping out from the polka melody player’s speech bubbles over their heads.
Once a red star appeared over the camera, a little circle fades in from the middle with my face in it, and I say, “Still there? Okay!” the circles expands over the entire red background, and I start walking towards a group of ponies dancing, and I continued to sing; “Next time you find yourself at an exciting polka party, you can make some patterns with your hooves and with your body! If you don’t know the steps yet, here’s the gang with all the answers: fillies and gentlecolts, introducing the Flare Gun polka dancers!” I point over to a curtain that opens and reveals a countyside type background with a bunch of hills. I pop out my head from below the camera, and shout out: “Here they are!” Two ponies that look like they’re made of paper shows up and starts swinging around and looks like they’re dancing. The stallion was wearing a blouse, a black vest with shorts, and long socks, while the mare was wearing a blouse, a big pink skirt, and also wore big socks. They started swinging around as random sound effects played in the background as a pattern, and random paperized objects showed up in the background like a cow, fish, a tuba with a boxing glove popping out of it, drums with colorful balls bouncing on them, a rooster that spits out stars, and a hamburger with legs. All the papered objects disappeared in the display, and a Mr. Potatohead pops out from the middle, and it turns around revealing my head.
My head just floats in the middle of an underwater ocean background, and two Mr. Potatoheads float beside me, floating in opposite directions, and they sing along with me; “From everywhere, we see them there, we stop and stare at patterns…” a dentist drill sound effect plays in the background, and a lot more Mr. Potatoheads show up from opposite directions and sing along with me; “We don’t care we must declare, we got a flair for patterns.” As we continue, more and more Mr. Potatoheads appear and sound like more and more voices were joining the song, but they were all really my voice. “On our hair, the clothes we wear, our savoir faire is patterns, all we see is patterns, the patterns that repeat.” All the Mr. Potatoheads gives the audience duck faces as the scenery of the song changes.
I started running forward as the background keeps changing behind me as the words I sang next redirect to the background: “Wallpaper, skyscrapers, funny papers, patterns! Evergreens, nouvelle cuisine, human beings, patterns! Golden rakes, wedding cakes, rattlesnakes, patterns! Golden wheat, little feet, my heart beat…” I start breathing deeply as four different hearts beside my beat at the same time. “I gotta stop.” I said tiredly. Duplicates of me start popping out from each side of the background and yell: “Patterns! Patterns! Patterns! Patterns!” the song reaches its W.A.Y. Moby polka ending as I was able to run to the front of the stage as the curtain drops, and a bell slides in from the right of me, and the Monty Python foot shows up and steps on the bell, causing a big ding which marks the end of the song. That incredibly large cutaway gag ends.
So I walked over to Cheerilee because if you don’t remember, she called for me, so I went to her to see what she wanted. “Flare, what is this about?” she asked.
“What is what about?” I asked.
“Having one day with you was entertaining, but you coming here every day is really disrupting my class.” Cheerilee explained. “Not only are you giving these foals bad influence, you’re wasting my time, their time, and even your own time!”
“So… does this mean I get detention?” I asked.
“No, Flare. It means you’re expelled.” Cheerilee said.
“Expelled?! But I didn’t even do anything to harm this school at any way! I was only trying to be a foal! You of all ponies should understand my position.” I explained.
“Flare, I like you, you’re fun to hang with, but when it’s school time for my students, having you around will only distract them. I hope you don’t take it too personally, Flare.” Cheerilee said.
“No, it’s fine. I had no idea what I was doing would effect the kid’s futures. For their futures, I’m willing not to be in your class anymore.” I said.
“Thank you, Flare. I know you’re trying to express yourself, and even though many would find it ridiculous, I find it to be quite envious. There are times that I wish I were a foal again.” Cheerilee said.
“Then join me, Cheerilee!” I said.
“That’s the spirit, Fla- wait, what?” Cheerilee asked.
“Join me! We’ll be foals together! Let’s show those Canterlot ponies that us Ponyville ponies can really express ourselves better than any other type of pony anywhere in Equestria!” I offered.
“You’re kidding, right?” Cheerilee asked.
“I never kid.” I corrected her. Sweetie Belle then snorts as she chuckles to herself. “What’s so funny, Sweets?”
“You say you never kid, but you’ve acting like one for a while now.” Sweetie Belle teased as she started to laugh.
“B-but, that’s impossible. I was only expressing myself! Cheerilee said so!” I said.
“Flare you’re so silly! You crack me up! You take other pony’s words way too seriously!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Uhh, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked.
“Just a minute, Scoots. Not to mention… kids don’t even act like that! I mean, yeah, kids make mistakes, but YOU Flare! You’re not acting like a child!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Sweetie Belle, please don’t.” Apple Bloom attempted to stop her from saying what she’s about to say.
“I just gotta say this one thing, Apple Bloom, hang on.” Sweetie Belle smirked at me with a mischievous smile and said, “Flare Gun, you’re not acting like a child; you’re acting like a baby!”
“GASP!” I yelled.
“Ooooo, ah really think ya REALLY shouldn’ve said that, Sweetie Belle.” Apple Bloom said.
“A baby? A BABY?! I’m not only acting like a child, but… A BABY?!” I asked shockingly.
“No, Flare, she doesn’t mean that!” Scootaloo cried.
“Oh… well then… this definitely changes everything.” I said.
“So are you gonna finally mature up and start acting your age?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I’m a baby! That’s what I am! Wee-big helpless, brainless baby! That is what I am, and she’s right! If she wants baby, I’ll give her baby!” I then ran over to a mare that was pushing her baby around in a carriage, I reached into the carriage and grabbed a diaper and put it on. “See? Now I’m a baby! Babies wear diapers, and I’m wearing one right now!”
“Flare, please don’t tell me you took a diaper off a baby and put it on you.” Scootaloo begged.
“What? No, that’s disgusting! Why would I do that? I took a fresh clean diaper from a bag.” I said. “Now where was I? Oh right!” I jumped up and laid myself on the ground and started yelling, “WAAAAH! WAAAAH! I’m a baby! WAAAAAH! I need a nappy-wappy! I need you to kiss my boo-boos! CHANGE MY DIAPER, SWEETIE BELLE!”
“You’re right, I shouldn’ve said that.” Sweetie Belle said.
"Ah think he's finally lost it." Apple Bloom said.
"Sweets you better hurry it up. I'm starting to get a rash." I said. "BOO HOO! BOO HOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Crying face!"
"Mr. Gun, you're behavior is unacceptable, so I have your mom on the phone." Cheerilee said as she gave me the school’s phone so I can talk to her.
"Oh... really?" I placed the phone over my ear and I started talking to my mom. "Hi, mom! How are you?” I asked her. After listening to her for a few moments, I started to get aggravated. “But mom?! Everypony kept calling me a child! Sweetie Belle called me a baby! No, that's not fair!” I whined on the phone as I stomped my hoof on the ground. "Why should I have to apologize? No, please! Don't take away my dessert! But... they started it! Ok, fine... goodbye!" So I hung up the phone, and awkwardly looked around and all the foals. Most of them were pretty concerned, some were afraid. After seeing their faces, I realized that… what am I to gain for this? The Canterlot ponies aren’t even here, so why was I acting like that in the first place?
“What has happened to me?” I asked myself. “I used to be jolly, and funny, and… I maybe weird, but it was ok, because I have friends that like me for me, but… for those who didn’t like me for me, I took their words too seriously. It’s Mareami all over again! Kids… I…. I don’t know what to say. I’m… I’m sorry. I was a bad influence. I… I have no idea what went over me. I gotta go.” I was too embarrassed to show my face around the school house ever again, so I just ran back home and hid. I had no idea what was going on with me. There are so many things wrong with me. I was acting immature for what reason? What was I to gain from it? I removed my child vest, and put on my adult-sized vest, and I took off my propeller hat. I kept the diaper on though, cause it was quite comfortable; plus, at least I don’t have to go up to go to the bathroom.
The next day came and I returned to my shop and returned to my regular duties as a pizza shop manager. I didn’t bother getting out of the open that day because I’m pretty sure their parents would be concerned on what happened that day. I was quite surprised that I had a decent amount of customers though. In the middle of the day, about around 12:30 PM, I heard a knock on my door. I was afraid it was one of the concerned parents. “Nopony’s home! Come back another time!”
“We can hear your voice though.” Scootaloo said from the other side.
“Oh, Scoots! Come on in!” I said. Scootaloo opened the door, and walked inside along with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Cheerilee.
“Oh… you didn’t mention you were bringing your teacher along.” I said disappointingly.
“Flare, I am quite disappointed in you.” Cheerilee said.
“Well I’m disappointed in me too, but hey, who’s not disappointed at me these days?” I asked.
“I’m disappointed that you left the school yesterday, because the students were… quite upset.” Cheerilee said.
“Upset? Why would they be upset?” I asked.
“See for yourself.” Cheerilee pointed outside.
“What’s outside? Did you get me a new car?” I asked.
“Nope! Even better.” Cheerilee said.
“You got me TWO new cars!” I said excitedly.
“No, I didn’t get you any cars.” Cheerilee said.
“Ooooooh! You got me a van!” I said.
“I didn’t get you any sort of vehicle.” Cheerilee said.
“So you got me a new yacht?” I asked.
“I can’t even afford that, and I think that counts as a vehicle.” Cheerilee said.
“What is it then?” I asked.
“Come look for yourself.” Cheerilee offered. Well, since I couldn’t guess anymore, I decided to get up and walk outside. When I got there, I saw Cheerilee’s entire class standing there, most of them smiling at me, but not all.
“Oooooh! So the kids got me a new car!” I nodded.
“No, silly! We came to say thanks!” Aura said.
“Thanks? For what?” I asked.
“For being such a delightful school guest!” Peachy Pie said.
“I’m confused.” I said.
“School is the most boring activity in the world! With you there, it wasn’t boring anymore!” Pipsqueak said.
“With you around, it made us not look like dorks anymore.” Snips said.
“Yeah, not dorks!” Snails said in a dorky voice.
I just stood there silently at the kids, and then I looked right at Cheerilee and said, “I have the feeling they’re trying to tell me something.”
“Flare, you expressed yourself that day, and like I said, I find it envious. Nopony except Pinkie Pie has the guts to express themselves that way. You are truly an inspiring pony, Flare Gun!” Cheerilee said.
“So you want me back in your class?” I asked.
“Oh heavens, no!” Cheerilee said. “Like I said, you can express yourself, but only when the time is right.”
“Wow... Cheerilee you just blew my mind!” I said.
“I have the effect on ponies.” Cheerilee chuckled.
“Yeah! What you said made no sense to me at all!” I said shockingly. Cheerilee’s smiles fades and she just glares at me. “Anyways, who’s up for some pizza? It’s all on the house!” All the foals all cheered, which was expecting, because hey, free pizza! Lyra, Bonnie, and I made a ton of pizzas, enough for the whole class! I too had some pizza, as I sat with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and ate with them.
“This is good, Flare!” Sweetie Belle said with her mouth full of pizza. “No wonder everypony forgave you quickly. It’s all because of your piz-“ Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both play-punched her in the shoulder, getting her to stop talking. “Ow! Oh… right. Anyways, sorry for calling you a baby, Flare.”
“Meh. It wasn’t your fault I acted like that. I get mental breakdowns a lot. I get it from my mom’s side. We’re Italian.” I said.
“Well… that certainly explains a lot.” Scootaloo teased.
“Hey, just be lucky I’m not Irish, because things would’ve been A LOT worse if I was Irish!” I said.
“Well, ah’m just glad you’re back to your old self again, Flare!” Apple Bloom said.
“Hey who you callin’ old, you wipper snapper?” I asked in an old man’s voice. Just then, I see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon walking by our table. I just remembered that there was still one loose end to tie up. "Oh Jewel Head, Bronze Knife?" I asked, trying to get their attention.
“Hey, Flare! This pizza is so totally delicious!” Silver Spoon said.
“Thanks! I just wanted to say that I apologize for bullying you two before. Sad face. I didn't really mean it. I would never want to hurt innocent foals like you two." I said.
"Innocent?" Scootaloo asked.
"We still friends?" I asked with a smile on his face and a squee. The two fillies looked at eachother and shrugged.
"Fine." Diamond Tiara said.
"We could never stay mad at you forever. After all, you do sell delicious pizza!” Silver Spoon said.
“I don’t think a child can do that, that’s for sure!” Scootaloo winked at me and said.
"So can it be hugs time now?" I asked the two fillies.
"Umm…” they both looked at eachother in concern.
"C'mon! Where's the less than threes?” I asked with my arms out. Diamond and Silver gave in, and they gave me a hug, but who knew if they meant it?
"There we go!" I said happily. "Don't worry Rock Cap and Golden Fork. It's all gonna be 'kay."
"Maybe you aren't so bad after all." Diamond Tiara said.
"Whatcha talkin about?" I asked them in a voice that sounds like Arnold's from Different Strokes.
“Blah!” Scootaloo said.
“Oh don’t be jealous you three! You come in too!” I offered the CMCs.
“There won’t be any signs on our backs again, will there?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Absolutely not!” I promised. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle then joined with the hug.
"I less than three these foals.” I said.
"Can we have hugs too?” Snips asked.
"No way! Go hug yourselves!” I rejected.
After the hug, I continued talking with the CMCs. “So, Flare. Anything else you wanna do to let out your inner foal?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do!” I nodded.
Sometime later, the Crusaders and I went back to cart surfing in the mines, doing lots of tricks and having fun. Miss Cheerilee follows us from behind, and preformed the best tricks, like spinning the cart around, and hanging behind the cart, tilting it, she was insane! It was nice of Cheerilee to give out her inner foal as well.
As I played Duel of the Fates from my Ipod, I continued singing of what I thought the chorus was singing as I preformed tricks on my own mine cart. “Corn ooooooon the cooooooob, corn oooooon the kebaaaaaaab! Total, earlobe, on the, typical, sort of, people, such a, mystical, CORN COOOOOOOOOB!!!”