With her song now out of her system, Silver Spoon sighed happily as she lay her head down to rest.
Her eyes quickly shot open as a sinful idea danced in her mind, one which she didn't want to acknowledge.
A small red imp appeared by the right side of Silver Spoon’s head in a puff of smoke. The creature resembled Diamond Tiara with a red coat and its mane and tail were black. She was dressed in a black choker, a black corset and black fishnet stockings on her hind legs. She also sported a pair of horns and bat wings.
“What are you?” asked Silver Spoon. “Are you a fairy?”
“Do I look like a fairy to you in this outfit? I’m Naughty Silver, the ponification of your evil side. Don’t you read comic strips?”
Oh, okay. But if you’re my evil side, why do you look like Diamond Tiara instead of me? And why are your clothes so... well, slutty?”
Naughty Silver grinned.
“Why, indeeeed?”
Silver Spoon blushed and looked away. Clearly the imp knew her better than she thought.
“Okay, scratch that question,” said Silver Spoon as the crimson left her face. “What you do want with me?”
“You were having a moral dilemma,” said Naughty Silver.
"No, I wasn't."
“Yes, you were... and it’s my job to help you choose a course of action – the fun one. You just gave Diamond Tiara a kiss on the forehead. That was sweet... but why stop there? I say kiss her on the lips.”
Silver Spoon blushed again and hid her snout under the covers.
“No way! She’d kill me if I did that!”
“Look at her,” ordered Naughty Silver. Silver Spoon turned her head to the right to examine Diamond Tiara’s face. She lowered her covers from her face and found herself smiling again. “Have you ever seen anything more beautiful? More inviting? More...”
“Angelic,” offered Silver Spoon.
Naughty Silver rolled her eyes.
“Yech, that’s not an adjective I associate with anything positive but anyway... you should totally do it. If anything’s worth getting killed over, it’s this. But she’s not going to kill you... because she’ll never know. You, on the other hoof, will have that kiss to hold on to for the rest of your days.”
Silver Spoon rubbed her forehooves together. She contemplated the imp’s argument but the risks outweighed the rewards.
“I shouldn’t.”
“Of course you shouldn’t. That’s what makes a stolen kiss so alluring. Just do it anyway.”
“B-B-But she trusts me.”
“Oh, like she’s never betrayed anypony’s trust before.”
“That’s... true...”
“She’ll... never... know.”
The imp's words gave Silver Spoon a substantial amount of reassurance, just enough to fuel her with the courage to undertake this mission. She did want this.
“All right," she said. "But just a little one. And if she kills me, I’ll find you and I’ll haunt you forever.”
Silver Spoon turned to look at Diamond Tiara who was still fast asleep.
“Whoa, hang on a sec," said Naughty Silver. "You can’t kiss her yet.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Silver Spoon.
“Don’t you know how this works? We have to wait for my coworker Nice Silver, the ponification of your good side, to show up so she can present an opposing viewpoint. The party pooper’s running late... again.”
“If you’re evil, isn’t waiting for her a good deed?”
“Union rules.”
“Oh.”
A puff of smoke appeared to the left of Silver Spoon’s face. When it dissipated, Nice Silver appeared. This imp actually resembled her namesake, with a halo floating above her head and a long flowing white robe. A pair of white feathered wings flapped gently, keeping her aloft.
“Sorry I’m late,” said Nice Silver. “Traffic was crazy. Now, Silver Spoon, eating such a big meal before bedtime is going to make you gain weight. You should wait until morning and have it for breakfast instead.”
Silver Spoon blinked.
“Are you... talking about the quiche?” she asked. “I ate that a while ago.”
“What?” Nice Silver glared angrily at her fellow imp. “Naughty, you were supposed to wait for me! Union rules clearly state that both agents representing-”
“Don’t you go throwing union rules in my face, slowpoke!” protested Naughty Silver. “I attend the monthly meetings! And I pay my dues on time, unlike some imps I know. And we were waiting on you, jillass. We still are. You’ve got the wrong dilemma. Get with the program.”
Nice Silver reached into her robe and removed a small daily planner book which she leafed through with great speed.
“Isn’t this case number 63557? About whether or not she should eat a whole quiche just before going to sleep?”
“It’s 63558.”
Nice Silver turned to the correct page and held the planner to her face.
“Ah, here we go. 63558... Subject is pondering whether or not she should steal a kiss from Diamond Tiara while she’s asleep.” Nice Silver’s jaw dropped along with her planner that fell from her hooves. She looked at Silver Spoon. “DIAMOND TIARA? HOLY MANURE! DO IT! Do it, do it, do it, do it!”
Silver Spoon’s pupils narrowed from the imp’s hysterics.
“Isn’t your job to talk me into doing the right thing?” asked Silver Spoon.
“Forget my job!” cried Nice Silver. “Kiss her! Hurry! Before she wakes up!”
Naughty Silver enjoyed a brief laugh at Nice Silver’s blatant shirking of her duty.
“If I’d have known it was going to be this easy, I would have stayed home,” said Naughty Silver, crossing her forelegs and closing her eyes.
Nice Silver frowned at her opposition. She exhaled raggedly and regained her composure.
“Okay,” she said. “Yes, Silver Spoon, I am supposed to talk you out of doing bad things... but this is Diamond Tiara we’re talking about! Look, hun, there’s only one period in a pony’s life where mistakes are understandable and even somewhat tolerable – and that period is your youth. And yes, kissing Diamond Tiara without her consent would technically be immoral... but it’s not like you’re slitting her throat. And let’s face it: neither of you are exactly strangers to doing morally gray things for your own benefit, are you?”
“Not really.”
“Then take a risk and do it this once while you can still write it off as an innocent error in judgment if you’re caught. It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. If you’re still in doubt, let me put it to you this way: Diamond Tiara will nev-er kiss you on her own. Do you really want such a dreary notion hanging over your head until the day you die?”
Silver Spoon closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her hoof.
“Celestia, I have got to stop being such a slave to my impulses...” she said. She smirked and winked at Nice Silver. “...starting tomorrow morning.”
“So you’ll do it?” asked both imps.
“Mm-hm.”
"YES!" cried both imps.
Nice Silver looked over at Naughty Silver.
“Hey, Naughty?”
“What?” asked Naughty Silver.
“You won’t tell the agency that I didn’t offer an opposing viewpoint, will you?” Nice Silver pouted to look pitiful, emitting a soft squee in the process. “I really want to keep this job. The Hearth’s Warming Eve tree decoration gig is only seasonal work...” She rubbed her backside in remembrance. “...and it’s murder on my plothole.”
“Are you kidding?” asked Naughty Silver. “Why the Tartaros would I rat you out? You’re hoofing me my commission. Easy money is best pony. As far as I’m concerned, you stated your case by the book... just like I did... and, after hearing both sides of the argument, Silver Spoon decided to go with my advice. No harm, no foul.”
“Thanks,” said Nice Silver with a smile. She bit her lower lip and held her forehooves behind her back as she cast her eyes downward. “So, uhh... Naughty, are you... doing anything fun after the dilemma?”
“I might be,” replied Naughty Silver with bedroom eyes and a smirk. “But not with a nice girl.”
“M-Maybe I’m not as nice as you think I am,” said Nice Silver with a quiver in her voice. She pulled her robe over her head and tossed it away, revealing what she wore underneath: a white choker, a white corset and white fishnet stockings on her hind legs. Naughty Silver’s eyes widened briefly before returning to bedroom mode. She floated over to Nice Silver with a salacious grin and held the light gray imp in her forelegs.
Silver Spoon gulped as she watched this take place right in front of her now red face. Her heart began to beat faster as she recalled having acted out similar scenarios with a pair of her mare dolls a number of years ago. Seeing as how the imps were far more detailed than any hoofmade doll, she found this to be relevant to her interests.
Nice Silver smoothed her hoof along Naughty Silver’s face, prompting the evil imp to nuzzle it. As their faces drew closer, their eyes closed, preparing themselves for a kiss.
“Wait!” shrieked Nice Silver as she withdrew from Naughty Silver.
“What now?” spat Naughty Silver.
“Not in front of the foal!”
“Oh, yeah.” Naughty Silver released her counterpart and looked at Silver Spoon. “Sorry. That was very unprofessional of me.”
“I-It’s okay,” mumbled Silver Spoon as she slid her snout far enough underneath her covers to conceal her blushing cheeks but not so far as to obscure her view. “Y-You don’t have to... stop on my account.”
Nice Silver gasped, blushed and covered her torso with her wings.
“Sh-Shame on you, Silver Spoon!” she barked. “Voyeurism is not cool.”
“And exhibitionism is?” asked Naughty Silver snidely.
“It... slipped my mind that she was here,” admitted Nice Silver, conceding to her associate’s counterpoint.
Naughty Silver turned her head to face Silver Spoon.
“Later, kid,” said Naughty Silver as she applied black lipstick to herself. “Enjoy that kiss, okay? Wish I could stick around for it but... booty calls.”
Both imps disappeared in a poof of smoke, leaving Silver Spoon with one certainty: if she wanted to avoid being locked up in a mental institution, she would never breathe a word of this to any of her future therapists. She looked down at her comforter and saw the tiny planner left behind by her good side. She leaned forward and was about to take the tiny book into her mouth when, suddenly, Nice Silver reappeared and retrieved the book with her mouth posthaste. The imp’s coat was covered with several lipstick marks on her face, neck and other areas of her body.
“Klepto!” snarled the full-mouthed Nice Silver before disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Silver Spoon turned to her right, facing Diamond Tiara and gulping as she mustered up the courage to do what two out of two imps recommended she should do. Sweat began to bead on her forehead. She could scarcely believe that she was really doing this. As great as the risk of getting caught was, she couldn’t deny that she was excited by the prospect of her first kiss. The task before her would have been much harder had Diamond Tiara not been a side-sleeper. She slowly leaned in toward Diamond Tiara, pausing occasionally as the mattress springs protested the shift in weight distribution.
She came closer still and the covers rustled with a level of noise that might as well have been a Running of the Leaves race. It was a miracle that Diamond Tiara wasn’t stirred from her slumber.
Silver Spoon was more than halfway there. The thought of calling the whole thing off had occurred to her but she had come so far that to abort now would have meant making up lost ground all over again.
Please don’t wake up, she begged silently.
Just one more stretch and her lips would be within kissing range of Diamond Tiara’s. Her heart pounded as she traversed those final agonizing inches of space.
At long last, she was there. She felt Diamond Tiara’s breath caress her snout and it struck her that her own breathing might be felt. She pursed her lips and redirected her breathing duties to her mouth, taking care to exhale away from Diamond Tiara’s face. It was all or nothing now. She was shaking like a leaf, sweat was pouring across her forehead and the foreleg she was using to support herself was now hurting to an almost unbearable extent. Even if all went well, it seemed unlikely that this adventure would go down as one of the most enjoyable experiences of her life.
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath to tide her over until the kiss had been successfully stolen, Silver Spoon summoned all the strength she had left and willed her lips to pucker.
“I’m awake, stupid,” growled Diamond Tiara.
“Iknewthat,” squeaked Silver Spoon rapidly as she lay back down to have her heart attack on her own side of the bed.