//------------------------------// // Love is Best Grown with Sunshine & Sincerity // Story: Killing them with Kindness // by Mayhew Cullen //------------------------------// Twilight glared daggers at her kindest friend while Shining Armor and a group of his soldiers laughed and chatted over a quickly emptying platter of nachos being healthily washed down with a rather rare vintage of Sweet Apple Acres Cider. The nachos were one thing, but the cider had been a birthday present from Applejack. Just as Twilight was about to yell at her friend she was interrupted by her B.B.W.F.F., “Hey Twily, could you get that dragon of yours to make some more nachos? They’re really good.” Twilight was quick with a crass reply hoping that it stung him deeper than the javelin she wanted to put inside of him, “Hey Big Brother Worst Friend Forever, could you die in a fire? It would at least be worth the loss of my cider.” To say the least her five closest friends were shocked but none more so than Fluttershy who managed to ask, “b-b-but Twilight, what happened to big brother best friend forever? If you don’t mind me asking…” “That was back when he was my only friend and before he claimed my bedroom in the name of the Shining Republic when I was four. He was then demoted to Big Brother Second Best Friend Forever, under Smarty Pants, who was actually my L.S.S.P.B.F.F. which naturally stands for Little Stuffed Study Partner Best Friend Forever. Then when he read my diary after annexing my first dorm room at Celestia’s school he made provisions that if I were to tell any friends about him he should always be referred to as ‘B.B.B.F.F.’. If I didn’t he would take Smarty as a prisoner of war. Do you have any idea what they do to prisoners of war? Especially the ones with really pretty manes?” “N-n-n-no… I’m sorry.” “Of course you don’t! And sorry doesn’t really cut it. I can’t believe that the only pony I know with a body count, can’t even put up a fight to protect one little castle from my brother and his drinking buddies. If you had made friends with Sombra instead of killing him we wouldn’t be in this mess.” “Now, y’all better calm down fore y’all hurt somepony’s feelins sugar cube.” Anger and hate immediately melted into sadness as a now sobbing purple alicorn replied. “But A.J. that was your first barrel of hard cider ever. You said you hoofpicked and hoof pressed every apple yourself. You told me how Granny Smith, um… how did you put it?” “Ah said that she tanned mah hide something fierce,” Applejack added with a smile as she thought back to her youthful adventure. “Right, because you were just fourteen years old and hiding away in your tree house brewing alcoholic cider. Then when she tasted it she helped you finish it and seal it up tight until you were twenty-one so you could drink it because she said it was the best cider she ever had. Then you didn’t because you gave it to me on my twenty-first birthday as a belated coronation slash birthday gift. Then even though Rainbow wanted to open it right there I said we had to wait until you and I were eighty so we could drink it all ourselves and get really drunk and embarrass our grandfoals.” “Yup, and even though that was yer first time drinking y’all were drunk enough to profess yer undying love fer me. Course ah was sure all y’all were too drunk to remember when I replied in kind.” Rainbow Dash was the first to interject, “Phbt! Just cause I drink faster than anypony in Equestria it doesn’t mean I can’t hold my booze. After all if I’m gonna be your best mare I’ll need to stay sober enough to keep you out of trouble at the bachelor party.” Next was Pinkie, “Which I’ve had planned along with your wedding reception for years!” Then Rarity, “I’ve been making adjustments to Twilight’s wedding dress at least twice a month since that night.” After that it was Fluttershy’s turn, “I’m sorry, I was already passed out on the couch by then, but Rarity told me about it during our next spa day, so that was when I started teaching my birds to sing traditional wedding songs for Twilight’s procession and your first dance.” Finally Twilight had her chance as she stared at here hooves while drawing invisible lines on the stone floor with the tip of one of those hooves, “I’ve been waiting for a ring this whole time, but I guess if you don’t…” Twilight had begun to sob yet again when her brother spoke over her quiet sniffles, “Yo Twily, your filly fooling is cute and all but about those nachos, your benevolent conqueror has an army to feed.” Dry sobs instantly turned to a river of tears as Twilight ran from the throne room followed only by the cruel laughter of her brother and his men. Applejack turned on Shining in an instant and was about to buck his teeth to the back of his skull when she was stopped by an oddly still smiling Pinkie who spoke quickly to her alleged fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin, “I thought something like this would happen so I secretly traded Twilight’s special cider with one of those barrels of garbage that Flim and Flam made and hid Twi’s cider so her brother could never find it. I don’t like it when my friends cry, so you should tell her the truth so she doesn’t have to be sad. Dashie, Flutter, Rares and I will take out the trash.” “You sure y’all can handle them? Even with Twi’s army we didn’t stand a chance.” “That was when it was just a game silly, then they stole my friend’s smile. You’re going to give it back to her.” “We’ll clear this room in ten seconds flat.” “These interlopers really do clash with Twilight’s color scheme, so making a few revisions to the décor will be my pleasure.” “Well, um, I guess I should make up for killing Sombra… if you think that would be okay.” Applejack stared at her friends for a moment before putting on a smile of her own and nodding her approval, “Well y’all better not have too much fun without me.” At that she was gone, sprinting through Twilight’s castle looking for her favorite princess. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While the sounds of battle rang through the nearly empty fortress, only one sound mattered to Applejack. She heard the weeping alicorn plain as day as she neared Twilight’s private chambers. After nocking and hearing no reply other than the continued sobs the orange earth pony pushed open the door and scanned the room. The bed was empty, completely empty. Even the sheets had been removed, but as AJ continued searching she found the bedding, a multitude of books that had been missing from the shelves and the prettiest purple pony she had ever known that was hiding under them. “Well shoot sugar cube, ah’d say that must be a record. Ah ain’t ever seen you raise a book barn so quick.” “It’s a book fort. Now go away AJ. I just want to be alone until Shiny comes to invade here too.” “Now stop right there Princess Sugarcube, what kind of knight protector would ah be if ah let some tyrant run amuck all over milady’s precious fort?” At that statement the self-proclaimed knight protector sat flatly in front of the fort’s entrance, keeping her eyes fixed to the door on the lookout for possible invaders. She smiled to herself when Twilight replied. “Well fat lot of good you did with a whole army at your back, Miss Protector.” “Ah’ll admit that it was mostly mah fault, well mine and Pinkie’s faults. To her at least it was just a game and ah never took any of it serious. Even now ah think that Shinin Armor just thinks he’s teasin ya, but it took a little help from Pinkie to help me realize what he’d done to ya and that's why right now ah’m more than serious about keepin mah princess safe.” “Something about smiles or laughter right?” Twilight’s tone had become rather cynical. “Yup and ah’m supposed to tell you all sorts of things she wants you to hear so that y’all can smile again.” Applejack couldn’t see the alicorn roll her eyes but took the silence as an indicator that she could continue, “First, Pinkie managed to hide that special cider barrel so Shining couldn’t find it. So that’s safe and sound for us when y’all and ah are old an’ grey.” Twilight’s voice seemed smaller as she poked her head out from under her comforter, “What do you mean us? It’s not like we’re going to have any grandfoals to embarrass when we get drunk.” “Well ah hope that ain’t true. It would be awful humiliatin if our own foals couldn’t manage one a the few simple things an Apple ought to be good at.” “A.J.? Is that some backwards Apple family way of asking if I’ll be your marefriend? If so, why didn’t you ask me sooner?” “Ah suppose it is, but ah’ll admit that ah’ve always thought ah was never good enough for some pony as wonderful as y’all. So ah never told ya out a fear a hurtin our friendship. Guess ah really am just a dumb old farm pony.” Twilight’s glared, her eyes shown with an obvious anger at her friend’s previous statement. Irritation laced the lavender alicorn’s tone as she spoke, “Jackie Susan Apple, you are many things, stubborn, brutally honest, and no pony would say you have the best table manners, but if I ever hear you call yourself dumb again I’ll kick your flank so hard your cutie mark will fall off.” Then in a sudden turn her speech became playful, “Also if you truly intend to court me, I will need a sign that I am off the market for anypony else but you.” At that the door began to creep open revealing a visibly exhausted Shining Armor. “Well ah don’t have a ring just yet, but ah’ll tell ya what.” Applejack lifted her prized Stetson from her head and carefully placed it on to Twilight’s. She then turned back to the slowly advancing Stallion before continuing, “Why don’t y’all hang on to mah hat until ah find a proper ring fer the smartest, most purty mare in Equestria.” Twilight stifled a laugh as she replied, “really? We haven’t even gone out once yet and you already found some pony to cheat on me with?” Still in spite of her joking Twilight could only feel loved by the mare who trusted her with such a sentimentally valuable gift. “Shoot sugar cube an’ here ah thought librarians were smart. Oh well, least y’all still make up fer it by bein mighty cute. Also would ya mind terribly remindin me to thank Pinkie for letting me give yer brother a good swift kick?” The fatigued unicorn continued advancing now showing anger in his eyes having just seen his sister begin to giggle. That was his job, he was supposed to be the one who made his sister smile, not these other ponies. Now she was outright ignoring him right along with her ignorant farm pony friend that thought she could beat him, “Stop ignoring me!” He shouted at nopony in particular and would have gone on if it weren’t for the sound of cracking ribs caused by two expertly placed hind hooves sending him flying back through the open door and an open window just beyond it. In spite of her dislike of the pony’s actions, A.J. turned around and rushed forward to look out the window in fear that she had become the second of Twilight’s friends to kill somepony. Unexpectedly right below her a giant bowl of chocolate pudding was being stirred by one Pinkamena Diane Pie while a white unicorn and a pair of Pegasi were helping Shining Armor out of the dessert only to have a familiar pink alicorn push him back in. Other than the stallion, everypony wore a smile when they looked up to the window to wave. They began to cheer when Twilight’s hatted head came into view to give her knight a firm but loving kiss. The hooting and hollering only grew when the couple suddenly moved below the window’s opening, falling out of sight, but certainly not out of mind. Alone and unobserved the pair in the castle continued their naive play, “My hero. How can I ever thank you?” The princess spoke with a smile. And with a gentle reply her knight spoke, “All in mah line a duty, Princess Sugarcube. Yer happiness is all the reward ah need.”