//------------------------------// // Evening Three // Story: One Thousand Years on the Move // by Ravenmane //------------------------------// “Luna,” I said with a mischievous grin, “tonight we have a very unusual question for you.” “Oh?” “Yes, the internet has spoken. And for once I’m inclined to listen to it.” “I do not like the sound of this. You already told me the dangers of the brony community.” “But these are your fans, not your sister’s.” Luna shifted on the sofa. “Please, spare me. What is it that the herd wishes to know?” My mischief eroded quickly, leaving only my Cheshire cat-like grin. “As we were talking about last night so too has the herd wanted to know. Is there anything compromising you’d like to share with us about Princess Celestia?” “Oh? Oh!” Her eyes widened. “I’m so happy they wish to know some of those kinds of secrets correct!” I merely nodded. “Very well, now where shall I begin?” She tapped her hoof against the table a few times while she thought about it. “We are so going to the moon for real if she finds out about this aren’t we?” “Yes we will.” “Then go into as much detail as you want. We may as well earn our punishment. Besides, the company would be good right?” She glared, “you’re thinking dirty thoughts again.” “How did you put it? I believe it was the 'dangers of the brony community.' Anyways what would you like to share?” “I don’t know where to begin, it’s a long list.” “Let’s start small.” “Right, the origin of the name ‘Molestia’ it is! This is not a name that is just a fabrication of the fanbase. Some guards started to call her that after an… incident.” “Do go on Luna. This may just go down in brony history.” “It all started with her first student, a pegasus named Morning Glory. When Morning was a filly, nopony thought of what ‘Tia was actually grooming her for.” “Going from student to ‘private guard’?” “Worse, she became more like a test subject. Oh the scandal when it came to light, no pun intended.” “I’m almost afraid to ask,” I paused as if trying to restrain myself, “go on.” “After ‘Tia stopped teaching Morning about being a skilled flyer and a proper guard is when it really started to, as you once put it, go south. Before then there was a little intimacy, a kiss here and there, rather harmless actually. After that, Morning went on to become a loyal palace guard and raise a family. Then there were the late night rendezvous in ‘Tia’s room. Oh, I loved spreading gossip about it after finding out the story.” “Was there anypony else along with Morning?” “One of my guards often snuck out. I had him tailed. A loyal soldier informed me of ‘Tia, Morning, and my guard exploring every possible inch of each other. In great detail I might add.” “Tasty little affair that.” “Well, when I found out I just spread it around like a nasty little gossip topic. ‘Tia would deny it, as would Morning. Morning had two foals after all; the scandal would have ruined her life. The guard who would sneak out however, was not as fortunate. I made sure he was sent to the deepest, darkest, loneliest cell in the dungeon. After everything got out in the open, that is to say when ‘Tia admitted it to me, I had him executed for his negligence. After all, if he was in need of such a thing all he had to do was swallow his pride and be open with me about his needs.” “You would’ve done that with him.” “Heavens no,” her face had quickly turned a fierce shade of red, “not with some other mare involved! I still have my pride.” “Are you a one stallion girl Luna?” “I want to know I’m the only one in a man’s heart.” I kissed her cheek. “Noted my dear Queen of the Night.” “You’ll find a good woman to take my place after I leave. We both know you will.” “They’ll never fill that hole in my heart for you. Anyways, back to your sister’s activities.” “Ever notice how shiny her guard’s armor is? Or that they all have pure white coats?” “Oh dear,” I had a face coated in mock-fear. “For centuries her personal guards were all required to ‘donate’ their services to ‘Tia every once and a while.” “Both mares and stallions?” “Of course, I think ‘Tia was never very picky. But unlike her affair with Morning, that was actually well known at the time.” “So, when would guards have families?” “They retired, or switched shifts since I was better about the whole ruler-guard thing.” “If they became your guards how did they meet other stallions or other mares?” “Getting up early was common. We did not have coffee at the time so it was difficult to keep guards that were courting somepony else awake at the end of their shifts.” I remember Luna’s first run-in with espresso, she thought she could handle it. She was jittery and hyperactive for quite a while before crashing. Since then it’s been one cup of coffee after I get back from work. “Any other little events in Celestia’s life you’d love to share?” Luna stifled a giggle before clearing her throat. “’Tia and Discord sitting in a tree~” I blinked, that wasn’t something I expected. “Okay, first of all why so sing-songy. Secondly, who’s Discord?” Bear in mind I’ve been running on work, taking care of Luna, and the occasional slew of chores. “Discord was once the ruler of Equestria, he was before us. He is the embodiment of chaos.” “Now, how did that work?” “Very awkwardly, he was attracted to her prankster side. She was drawn to the fact that he stared at her flank and drooled a bit while doing so.” “And how disastrously did it end?” “When Discord dumped ‘Tia, he became a very tasteless lawn ornament courtesy of the Elements of Harmony. Now as for your other question, it was something rather strange and amusing. You see he is a menagerie of various parts of creatures and we’re ponies. Not to mention while they were dating it was more as if he was more than anything a pedophile. I loved spending the late afternoons mocking them,” she paused, “publicly.” I tried to hold back a snarky laugh but failed miserably. After regaining my composure to some degree, I cleared my throat. “So was Celestia’s love life always so…” “Scandalous? I would hope she has stopped acting that way these past thousand years. One can always hope, but I’m prepared to be disappointed. Fortunately, Miss Sparkle seems to have some morals hidden somewhere behind her devotion. Provided she hasn’t been completely put at ease about my sister then I can assume that she is not under that side of ‘Tia.” “Now you also told me yesterday that you were the studious one. What caused you to be so mocking towards your sister in public?” “She always got away with things so I had to-” “Get even?” “Yes,” Luna rustled a little on the couch. “I think that’s enough for tonight okay Luna?” She nodded. “How about I get your little pony?” She smiled, “thank you.” Author’s note: I suppose I have to say this now, if anypony needs to be reminded, Return to Harmony would air a few months after this is taking place.