Dissociative

by Strawberry Jelly

Chapter 1 - Morning Surprise

Morning in Ponyville was always a treat if you were to awaken early enough to watch it. The way that the sun's rays shined over the Everfree would always strike the castle of the two sisters in just the right way that it would create one of the most beautiful sights that one could ever behold. While it was common for most ponies to sleep through this wonder of the world, today was a little different.

There was one mare watching Princess Celestia's work with drooping eyes and a sleepy smile. Her soft fur rustled in the morning breeze and her lips casually sipped at the coffee she held in her hoof. It was these beautiful mornings that made her want to do nothing more than spread her wings and take flight.

The only problem was that she was trapped in the body of an Earth Pony. Her normally blond mane was now dyed a dark raspberry color, her coat that was meant to be ivory was instead a bright pink, and the worst part of this was how her indigo eyes were replaced by a deep blue that reminded her of the ocean.

“The greatest prank ever played was me being put into this body,” She giggled a little, trying to turn her dysphoria into a joke; just like she tried to make anything that upset her.

With that, she opened the pink diary that she had sitting in front of her and read over what plans Pinkie had promised her friends today;

Dear Whom it may concern,

Okay, so we celebrated Bon Bon's birthday with a wild party today, so sorry if you woke up with a hangover. Dashie also invited us out to go pranking at noon, so I really hope you get to come out and play, Surprise! I heard that you two are already halfway down the list, so I'll have to throw you both a halfway-there party. I really hope I can tell you in person, but you know how weird this co-consciousness thing can be.

By the way, Pinkamena, you really need to stop being so grumpy all of the time. Don't say things like that to Mr. Cake, it's really rude and you could get us fired! I know you don't like it when ponies ignore you, but please try to control your anger; I'll even bake you some muffins if you do.

D, thank you for spending time with Pound and Pumpkin yesterday, they really do enjoy it when you play with them. It's also good to see that you're getting better at drawing, too. Just do us a favor and try to not leave crayons and colored pencils all over.

Also, Inkie, please don't go around spreading rumors that I don't like chocolate chip cookies anymore. Twilight actually asked me if I preferred oatmeal! I mean, oatmeal?! Are you crazy?

Oh, and if it ends up being me tomorrow, then make sure that you read over that prank book just in case. You don't want Dashie to start doubting Surprise's pranking abilities.

Pinkie Out
P.S. Make sure to pick up Maud from the train station at four! She's going to be visiting for spring break!

A smile was brought to Surprise's lips as she reread that first paragraph again, and then turning to the post script, “Looks like I get to be in control for one of the best days!”

With that, she stood up and bounded back into the bedroom to brush the tangles out of her mane. It's such a common misconception that her mane was untamed, but it actually was unbelievably well taken care of. She brushed it almost every chance she got, making sure to leave the luscious curls that she trademarked, while keeping it silky soft.

If only she could convince Pinkamena to do the same thing; that mare was so callous to things that she insisted were too 'feminine'.

Like personal hygiene.

Not that she didn't take baths, but she would just let her mane drip dry and flop into whatever style it was feeling that day. She also had this thing against brushing out clumps and mats, even ones in her coat. It was just a good thing that she wasn't in control all that often, or else the party planner of Ponyville would look pretty unattractive; absolutely great for business.

“Let's see, who's the next pony on the list?” Surprise pulled out a scroll from behind the vanity mirror she was staring into and popped it open. “Okay, so... Lyra, check. Bon Bon, check. Ohhh, it's the day to prank Twilight!”

The prankster mare looked over at the clock excitedly before realizing that she had a whole five hours before she was scheduled to head over to Rainbow Dash's house. What in Equestria was she going to do for a full five hours?

“Maybe I could go visit Applejack. I could go for a nice mug of cider,” She pondered, “Or maybe an apple crepe. I really want a crepe now that I think about it.”

Her mouth was already watering at the idea of the delectable treat. She absolutely adored those fruit and cream filled pastries like Rarity loved fashion. With that, she pulled on her saddlebags and checked for her bits, pranking tools, and of course her faithful Groucho Trots glasses. She never left home without them.

Out the door went the town's premier prankster pony extraordinaire with a wide grin and a bounce in her step. She was in the best of moods already, and so far her day could only get better. Crepes for breakfast, pranking with Dashie at noon, and then seeing her long-lost sister again after so long. She hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Maud the last time she was in town, but apparently Inkie had a blast bringing their friends and Maud together.

She bounded cheerfully down the dusty dirt road of Sweet Apple Acres, kicking up a cloud behind her with each hop. It had actually been a while since she had visited Applejack herself; usually it's Pinkie that goes out to the orchard.

Applejack stood out in the west fields, bucking apples out of trees already. With that knowledge, Surprise crouched as best she could to the ground and crawled up out behind the farmer, avoiding being seen. It was perfect; there was no way that AJ would expect to see anybody at the farm this early, let alone a wayward Pinkie.

“Surprise!” She squealed out, firing confetti from her saddlebags in all directions.

“Gah!” AJ collapsed face first into the grass, completely missing the tree that she was about to kick. She lay frozen solid with her hind legs extended into the air for a good 5 seconds before finally realizing what had just happened, “Pinkie! Don't scare me like that!”

Surprise on the other hand was giggling wildly and smiled at her friend, “Oh come on, it was totally a good one!”

Applejack's firm expression faded quickly into one of slight humor, “Alright, I'll admit that y'all got me. What are 'ya even doin' here this early?”

“Crepes!” Surprise half-shouted, barely able to contain her excitement for the delicious treats.

“Come again?"

“I was wanting to see if you'd like to make crepes with me!” She explained, wrapping a hoof around her friend's withers with her grin only widening.

The farmer just raised a single brow and shook her head, “Sorry Pinkie, but Ah got at least fourty more trees to buck before we can do anything like that.”

“But... What if I help you?” Her faltering smile returned hopefully, “It'd get the job done faster!”

Her friend shook her head however, “Nah, Ah can't ask y'all ta help me with mah work. Why don't 'ya go and help Granny Smith with Breakfast 'n' we can see about makin' crepes for dessert?”

Surprise puffed her cheeks out and nodded, “Fine, but only if we can make those super stuffed ones like last time!”

“... We'll see,” Applejack shuddered at the very idea. The last time they made super stuffed crepes, it ended up having literally five apples sliced into it. FIVE! She couldn't even eat half of the sugary treat. Honestly, she wasn't even sure how Pinkie managed to stuff five apples, ice cream, AND whipped cream into it.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Surprise giggled and bounded off towards the Apple Family home. Honestly, Surprise had adapted to being a part of the Apple Family faster than any of the others had, save maybe Pinkie Pie herself.

“Ah, there y'all are!” An elderly voice called from the ktichen, “Git 'n' here Applebloom and help me!”

“Surprise, it's Pinkie!” Surprise poked her head into the kitchen with wide eyes and an even wider grin, “I'm here to bake pie and eat apples, and I'm all out of apples.”

“Why, hi there silly filly! C'mon in 'n' help us bake,” Granny Smith grinned, “Applebloom aint gonna come help us, so Ah could use all the help Ah can.”

“You got it!” Surprise grinned and jumped over in front of the stove, “What's first?”

“This is... good?” Granny Smith looked over the abomination of a pie that Pinkie had just baked. For a baker, that mare was unbelievably inconsistent with quality. There were some days where she could bake and come out with the best food that the old mare ever had, and there were days like this where she was lucky to have not bit into ash.

“Thank you!” Surprise giggled and took a bite out of her own pie, her pupils dilating into tiny dots in shock from the pie. How was it this nasty? She didn't put that much pudding into it! Wait, was she supposed to put the pudding in the pie before or after it was baked?

Casually she swallowed the most disgusting abomination to baked goods ever created. Surprise nodded halfheartedly, stifling the oncoming desire to vomit, “D-Delicious.”

“Y-Y'all could say that,” Granny Smith said nervously, “Say, d-do 'ya wanna go sit down in the living room with some cider and take a break?”

Surprise got the hint and nodded slowly, “S-Sure...”

“Honestly, how can Pinkie and D both be amazing bakers and none of the talent seeps through to me?” Surprise lamented to herself, “I never seem to get any better either, no matter how hard I try...”

Her ears folded back and her eyes closed, drawing in a deep breath and opening her eyes with a smile returning to her face. She couldn't let it ruin her day; no matter how inferior she felt as a cook. She still had to go and prank Twilight with Dashie! In fact, why should she wait?

Jumping up from the couch, she bounded towards the door and called back to Granny Smith, “I'm heading out, I forgot to do something!”

With that half-baked excuse, she broke into a full gallop towards Rainbow Dash's cloud house, stopping dead in her tracks as she felt a cold chill break out over her spine. Slowly she closed her eyes once again, sitting down on her flank and taking another nervous breath.

“Not now, D... We're about to go pranking,” Surprise said aloud and shook her head, “No, it's my turn to play today.”

“Please, please pleaaaase?” D squealed excitedly, “I wanna see Maud too!”

“Maud's not even going to be here for another few hours,” Surprise protested.

“I'll cook you crepes if you let me,” D said flatly, tapping her non-physical hoof impatiently, wanting out to spend time with Dashie as well.

“How many crepes are we talking here?” Surprise raised her brow, showing a little interest in the filly's offer.

“Uhm, like six?” D grinned and made the motions of a Pinkie Promise.

“Seven and you got a deal, but you'll also owe-” Surprise was cut off by the sound of a familiar voice.

“Pinkie, who are you talking to?”

No. No no no. Please no. Surprise was pulled forcefully back to reality. Slowly she turned her head to see one Twilight Sparkle standing behind her with a deeply concerned expression, “Nopony, j-just thinking out loud.”

She took a step forward, offering Pinkie a slight frown, “A-Are you sure?”

“It's nothing, I promise,” Surprise took a panicked step back, taking a shaky breath in fear. Why did Twilight have to be there at that exact moment? Why did she have to hear that conversation? What was she going to say if she knew?! Pinkie would have to move back to the rock farm to escape! Surprise didn't want that at all; she was happy here in Ponyville.

“Do you Pinkie Promise?” Twilight frowned, not really too sure about what she had just walked in on, but was starting to worry that there was something deeply wrong with Pinkie. She had honestly caught her talking to herself like this several times in the past; it's just that she finally decided that enough was enough.

“I... I can't,” Surprise shook her head, “Please Twilight...”

“Pinkie...” Twilight offered her friend a gentle hoof on her shoulder.

“I can't...” She lowered her ears to her head and closed her eyes again.

“Just please w-”

“I said no!” Her voice cut Twilight off. Pinkamena glowered at the lavender alicorn before turning and storming off. Quietly she huffed to herself as she headed to nowhere in particular, “Never expect a prankster to say what needs to be said.”