My Stepfather Discord

by Raikage77

Prologue: Chaotic Morning With The Family

Sleep.

It is one of the best times for an animal or human, rather they like to admit it or not. Mom always says that sleep was one of the three things besides food and water that the body needs indefinitely, and when you're forcefully waken up from that sleep, even a human could turn into a beast.

Snap!

Splash!

I now understand what she meant by that; now don't get me wrong I'm not usually one to complain when it's time to get up. But even the best of us get angry when woken up with a cold bucket of water.

...That's what I thought it was at first, until the smell of chocolate hit my nostrils, along with the slight taste on my tongue. This wasn't water at all. This was chocolate milk.

I shot up into a sitting position the second the cold liquid hit me. Shivering slightly, I opened my eyes and looked up, seeing an ominous pink cloud floating over my bed, still drizzling with chocolate rain. There was only one person who'd pull a prank like this.

And he had the nerve to burst open in semi-insane laughter as I turned to face him.

"Ah ha ha ha~! You should see your face!"

"Discord! What the *beep*!" I covered my mouth the second the censored sound came out.

Discord laughed again, this time wagging his eagle claw like hand at me. He was in his semi-human form at the moment. My little brother, John, was sitting on his shoulder, bursting in laughter at the expression on my face while holding his stomach like the obnoxious eleven-year-old he was. "Now, now, Justin. We wouldn't want to use such language around your little brother, now would we." He said, holding his eagle-like hand over to my brother, getting an high-five from him. "Nice job, by the way."

John giggled. "You look so funny, Justin. I got you really good."

"You mean you planned this?"

"Uh-huh," John nodded, grinning. "Mommy said to wake you up for breakfast. So, me and Daddy Discord decided to wake you up the fun way."

I frowned, blinking a few time. "I hate you, both of you," I muttered, wiping some of the chocolate milk off my face.

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen," Discord said. He had that same stupid grin he always had on his face when he got in a good prank. "It's all in good fun, besides, we're all fair game in this house. You'll get me back ...one of these days." Discord snapped his fingers and the pink cloud disappeared, along with all the chocolate milk that covered me and the bed. "See, no harm done."

I sighed, throwing the now dry covers off of my person, and swung my feet over the bed. "I'll be down in a minute. You can leave now."

"Are you still mad at us?" John asked, making a sad face. "We were just playing, besides, you're all dry now."

In all truth, I wasn't as pissed as I had been when it first happened. Highly annoyed? Yes, yes I was. But, you would be too getting a face full of chocolate milk in the morning, rather then the occasional air horn.

"I'm not mad."

"Oh, good," Discord said. Why was he being so smug about it? God, I wish I had the ability to use magic, it'd be so easy to get him back for this, and all the other times. "Anyway, we're heading back down stairs. You're mom's making those delicious chocolate chip pancakes I love so much, and I'd hate for them to get cold. Ta ta for now." Then he and my brother were gone in a flash of white light.

I rolled my eyes. To everyone else it was Tuesday morning. For me, it was just the beginning to another day of family chaos.

"Discord is such a *beep*hole." I frowned and face-palmed myself. Right, Discord never took off the censor. "*Beep*!"

When I got down to the dinning room, everyone was already eating at nicely decorated dining table. It was mostly normal, if you ignored the hopping syrup bottle pouring more syrup over my mom's pancakes, and other silverware. It was like a scene straight out Beauty and the Beast.

"Well it's about time, your food was getting cold." My mom said, looking up at me with a smile. "Morning."

I walked over and pulled out a chair, sitting down in my spot next to my baby brother, Taylor, who was seated in a highchair. "Morning," I greeted back. I then turned to the baby and smiled, pointing him softly on the nose, he always blinked whenever someone did that. "Morning, Tay'."

Taylor giggled. Then, the two and a half year old said babbled two sounds. "Cha-cha~!" And a sippy-cup full of chocolate milk appeared right in front of him on his plastic table; he drunk the cup, but left the milk in the shape of a cup and bit into the liquid as if it was a cookie, partly exposing his one baby fang.

Now, you're probably wondering, how can a baby do something like that? Well, first, I'll have to explain a little something about my family first. A huge secrete if there ever was one.

So lets start with the introductions: My name is Justin Matthews, I'm a twenty-year-old African-American living in the city of Philadelphia, PA. I have black, bushy hair, brown eyes, cinnamon brown skin. And I'm tall, around six foot five.

I have plenty of extended family, but I'll get to them later. My mom is Dominique Matthews, and my biological father ...well, I can't say I know him like that, all I know is that he's an asshole, that's what mom says at least. Anyway, my little brother is John, and my baby brother's name is Taylor, though everyone calls him Tay'.

And then there's my stepfather, known as David by those outside. But Discord to the rest of us, he's a different story, you see four years back when I was still in high school. He somehow appeared in my world for whatever reason, from another realm in a land called Equestria. He seemed pretty human as far as I, or anyone else, could tell, but he was far from being 'normal'. It took some real research and internet surfing, but I eventually found out who he was, or rather what he was. A chimaera. A draconequus. Or, as he calls himself, Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony.

Now, anyone else would have thrown him out on the street after finding this out, but my mom's not like most people, and even after getting pranked and the house getting turned upside down, literally, she somehow fell for him, even after he showed us his true form.

John thought he looked cool and I did too, somewhat.

He was a shape-shifter, a trickster, an annoyance. And, he ended up marrying my mom (even if I didn't want him to), and a few years later, Taylor was born. Part human, part whatever Discord was. A walking, crawling ball of chaos just waiting to happen, I'm sure you've seen Poof from the Fairy Odd Parents. It was for this reason that Discord had to make a charm for him, a small bracelet to keep his chaotic powers in check until he was old enough to control them.

Things still happened around us, sometimes, but they weren't as bad as before. At least not like the chocolate milk thunderstorm that took half the country by storm. No pun intended; Discord had to wipe everyone's memory of that day, and that took quite a bit of magic that had him worn himself out for almost a week.

"Um, Justin."

I stopped eating in mid-bite and looked up at my mom. "Yeah?"

"Me and Discord have been talking," she spoke, glancing over at the human-looking Discord. "And, we think that it's about time you-."

"Get a job," Discord finished for her.

"A job ...why?"

"Well, why not, you're twenty-years-old, don't you think you should be trying to get your own place soon," Discord mused, sipping a glass of chocolate milk, the normal way for once. "Make your own living. Why, when I was your age I had plenty of jobs to do."

"And, how many of those jobs didn't involve chaos and mayhem?" I asked, plainly.

"Hmm ...it's hard to say, I haven't been twenty for the past few thousand years, I think."

"That's what I thought."

"Anyway, you are taking this the wrong way," my mom said. "We're not trying to kick you out or anything. Far from it. But, you're a young man, you should be out working, making a living for yourself."

"Mom's right, you know," John added, talking with a mouth full of food. "If I was you, I would've been moved out by now."

I sucked my teeth at him. "You say that now. Just wait until you get to be my age. It's a totally different story." I then turned my attention back to my mom and Discord, sighing as I muttered. "But if getting a job will make you happy, then I'll talk to a few of my friends. See if there's anything open for me to do."

"Oh, goodie! That's what I like to hear," Discord clapped his hands together, before standing up from the table. "And if you need any help finding something, I might know a few places you can go. Anyway, I've got to go. When chaos calls, I always answer."

"Do you enjoy causing people misery?"

Discord looked down at me and smiled. "Well, I not gonna lie and say I hate it. Though, you do seem to enjoy it with all of the fail videos you watch all the time."

"Wait ...all of that was you?" I asked, surprised.

"Somewhat, others were just the stupidity of some people."

"Oh, that's good to know."

"So, I'm off. There's a huge storm of chaos brewing in China and I'd hate to miss it." He teleported in a flash of white next to my mom, gave her a peck on the lips, then appeared between me and the Taylor, who he took out the highchair. "Now, you be good, my little spawn of chaos. Don't cause too much trouble today." The baby replied with the usual giggling and non understandable baby babbling. He placed Taylor back in the highchair, and teleported again, this time he was wearing a Bruce Lee looking outfit. "I'll be back, whenever I get back."

"Hopefully before dinner," my mom said.

"And bring me back a toy, please," John added.

Discord shrugged. "I'll try but I make no promises. I'll give an hello to the locals for you all. Zàijiàn~!" And just like that he was gone to do whatever chaos he felt needed to be done. Mom never really had a problem with that, as long as it never resulted in death. Which, it never did to begin with, surprisingly.

This was just another day in my life, and it was always chaotic in someway.

Especially, when your step-dad is the spirit of chaos and disharmony.