//------------------------------// // Bananas Rock // Story: Melancholy // by rasta-gringo //------------------------------// 3 Days Before Sonic Rainboom Money. Bits. Wealth. Fortune. Any pony can get swept into the powerful tide of cash. It had an overpowering allure. Because money means food, money means fun, and shelter. Money means life. Octavia was a chaser of money. She measured her days in money. She measured her years in money. It rained down on others, and Octavia would collect the runoff. She would measure that too. As much as her world wound itself around money. There was one thing that she could not measure, at least not in money or magnitude. Maintaining a mask of professionalism, Octavia drew her bow. It smoothly resisted the strings on her cello. The resulting note hung in the air, balanced only by concentration and practice. Octavia closed her eyes, waiting. After precisely seven beats she flourished her bow and ended the bar with a sharper note. Statuesque, the grey pony held the pose for a count of 1 and a 2 and a 3 and a 4 before starting the next piece. Octavia was not stalled by shuffling pages, memorizing each song she played came naturally. This one was a waltz called Merry Mare, one of her more practiced pieces. Octavia's eyes glazed over. Her audience at the moment was the Princess, holder of court in the sun, Celestia. There was one other pony, but he was ignoring Octavia and her music. Apparently there was not enough hair dye imports in Hoofington. Melancholy whispered in her ear, "Celestia doesn't even notice you!" Octavia looked left and right. There was no pony around her. But the voice was right. Celestia and her subject were in a heated debate about a contaminated vat of purple. "They aren't being very considerate, your music is beautiful, and should be savored." Continued Melancholy. Octavia nodded. Her hooves slipped slightly against the cello, and she lost a note fumbling over the instrument. "Poor girl, you're shaking. You must have been here for hours. I'm sure Celestia won't banish you for taking a break." The grey mare continued playing alone to the very end of the piece. And for the first time that day, stopped. She stood stock still for seconds, looking expectantly at Celestia from across the hall. The alicorn paid her no heed. Instead Celestia rose and began speaking. “Dye R. Lint, I have heard you suggestions and respect your opinion. Of course your need for hair dye is on my list of priorities.” Yellow magic aura levitated a scroll into the air. Octavia ground her teeth and made a face. Melancholy whispered in her ear, “Your face will get stuck like that. It’s true! Not necessarily bad, looking angry can get you through more situations than you may think. But as for courting ponies, you may struggle a bit.” Octavia unclenched her jaw the tiniest amount. The scroll Celestia was holding up was unrolling, to the floor, then down the steps it bounced. It tumbled to a stop, ending at Dye R. Lint’s hooves. Lint scrolled down the list, starting with the illegible runes next to Celestia. As his gaze followed the list to it’s end he started reading aloud what he could make out. “ “Um... Reply to Twilight Sparkle expressing pride... Practice the condescending chuckle... Get revenge on Luna for the taffy... this can’t be right, Get the oil chained? I don’t get it. Gosh this list is long your majesty! Untie guards within two days, why are there four tallies next to that?” Celestia chuckled, but did not say anything. Instead she waved her hoof, signaling to proceed. Lint continued, “Feed the parasprites... This one is crossed out but it says, put up pro-griffon propaganda. Why? Skip, skip, skip. Sneak a rave into Luna’s quarters, and... AHA Compassionately tell Dye R. Lint to... Celestia! That is ru- fair! Fair, everything is fine.” Lint backed out of the room slowly, staring only at the last item on the list. His eyes were wide and wild. Right before the doors shut, Octavia noticed something. Lint’s cutie mark was changing! His flanks were engulfed in yellow magic, he didn’t even notice, but he was now adorned with a bucket of paint. The door closed behind him. Octavia noticed that her jaw had dropped. She corrected it, but bit on her tongue. Her mouth reverted back to its open state, except now her tongue lolled out over her teeth. “Next pony.” Commanded Celestia. There were two exits to the hall. Peasant ponies came through the large golden door. The other door was beside, and down the stairs from the throne. Octavia sighed. “No escape huh?” whispered Melancholy. This time Octavia was ready for the voice. She kicked a hoof straight backwards and with queezy satisfaction felt the strike connect with something furry. Quickly she hefted the cello onto its stand and circled around on the voice. “Monkey?” Said Octavia. She looked down at the toothy creature. “ew...” “You could call me monkey. I would prefer to be called Melancholy.” Said he. “Talking?” Said Octavia, her head was spinning. “Violent!” Retorted Melancholy. “Ugly!” Octavia returned. “You have me there,” conceded Melancholy. “Are you, are you a pony?” Asked Octavia, she took a step back. “Are you?” “Of course I am!” Said Octavia, hushing her outburst. Celestia was busy with the next peasant so she was still safe. Melancholy reached out and poked Octavia in the chest. She staggered back with her forehooves wheeling. She squeaked and dropped to the floor, just touching the tile with her belly. “That’s better! You do not look too pony like on two hooves.” Melancholy said. “Just do me a favor, and stop smiling like that. It’s gross.” Hissed Octavia. “Can’t help it. What are you doing here?” Countered Melancholy. Octavia was taken aback by the question. “I- I’m a musician of course.” She answered “What is a magician doing here?” “Playing music.” Answered Octavia before, “Wait, I didn’t say magi-” “No you are not.” Melancholy interrupted. “I was!” Octavia said. “You were, what about now?” “Wasting my time talking to a monkey.” Octavia muttered. She could feel her forehead crease. It was making her cranky. “My name is Melancholy.” “My name is Octavia.” “My name is Hors d’Prix!” Announced the newest pony to Celestia’s hall. “I am concerned, your Majesty. The commoners are lobbying for more bits! This is outrageous!” “Uuhh huh...” Replied Celestia. Octavia grabbed Melancholy and pulled him further into the shadows of the musicians’ corner. There was a struggle, Octavia found herself wrapped around Melancholy’s face and his tail looping around her, trying to pull her off. Hors d’Prix continued his capitalist rant, “...can only guess that their final goal is to usurp the foundation of all we hold dear!” “Whore, may I ask one thing.” Said Celestia softly. Octavia started praying in Melancholy’s ear. “Not bananas, not bananas, not bananas, not bananas...” She prayed this way for every pony. Just in case. “Bananas rock?” Asked Melancholy, muffled by the dark tail in his mouth. Octavia rolled her eyes. Celestia continued in her soft voice. “Who is this, we, of which you speak.” “I meant of course, the Equestrian elite. Wealthy merchants, political powers, protectors of the peace. Honestly, if we didn’t keep all of the money who knows what ponies would do with it.” Octavia switched prayers. “Bananas, bananas, bananas, please oh please bananas! Or an anvil.” She continued praying even as Melancholy lifted her off of him. With a flourish of his wrist, Melancholy pulled out a large glass oval. He set it against himself, reflecting Octavia back on herself. She squirmed against the tail. Hors d’Prix continued, “It’s ponies like you and I, Your Majesty, that...” “I or you? What do we do, exactly?” Called Celestia. Her voice was no longer meek, but a force that resounded in the hall. “Wish into the mirror Octavia!” Whispered Melancholy. “No!” She hissed back. “We keep the poor in their place of course!” Proclaimed Hors d’Prix. Octavia stopped squirming. “As for those amongst us that are... less talented. I believe they already know their place.” Said Hors d’Prix. His horn was glowing. “I wish...” “Is that all?” Called Celestia, her face was deadpan, unreadable. “Well, I was going to propose a protesters tax, just to chain them down. And perhaps conscript all of the earth ponies to the fields.” “Is that ALL?” Said Celestia. With her voice dropping in pitch rapidly Octavia repeated, “I wish...” “Go on, go on!” Chided Melancholy. “And it is about time that we abolished the whole, ‘earth ponies raising special races thing’. I am sure you realize how sickening it is. We have to make sure that pegasi and unicorns are cared for by intelligent people.” Celestia stood up, “You said your name was Whore correct? capital W? Well I assure you that I have taken your bigoted whining into due consideration. Leave my hall.” Her deadpan mask slipped, revealing that even an immortal sun can show pity. Octavia looked from the mirror, to Celestia. She had been the musician for Celestia for a long time. Back in the days when she was quarter a quartet. Celestia was a kind ruler. That was a given. But Octavia knew even better. Celestia could be nothing but kind. Even when she turned them away like with Lint, she always had a mutually profitable plan. Octavia suspected that after the initial shock, Lint would be overjoyed at his new special talent. Celestia would never go along with the whims of a pony like Hors d’Prix. But her fangs were dull. She would not punish him. Or she would try, and it would be an effective punishment surely. But the punishment would be too lenient, Hors d’Prix was too bad, Octavia was too offended, for him to be let off with something as asinine as... “And I decree that you will pay a fine of 500 bits for wasting other ponies’ time!” Shouted Celestia. What was that! A fine!? Octavia herself would be able to afford that! And so she wished. Octavia wished a dreadful wish. She stared into the mirror. It reflected her upon herself, so she could watch her lips shape each syllable. Her purple eyes looked so vacant in the mirror. But there was fire there. “I wish for one shred of satisfaction. I wish for poetic justice. I wish for the good of me, and for the good of all ponies repressed by bits. I wish for extreme punishment. Not just extreme, I want punishment that would be overboard for the worst pony that ever has or will walk, in or out of Equestria. I wish for, the Banana Bag!” Melancholy winced, “That wasn’t quite what I had in mind...” The Banana Bag dropped. So did Octavia. Safe to say, she had been bested in gymnastics. Octavia had seen it only once. It was after the Princess, Luna returned. Celestia had been having a good week, and her style of rule changed drastically. First, she had lapsed into pranks, dropping the sun on random pony houses. Then, she had brought her shenanigans to the same hall that Octavia was hiding in now. She launched 28 ponies to the moon that day. Thank goodness they were mostly unicorns. Everyone in the hall, hidden or otherwise stared at the bag. Celestia grew a crooked smile. Hors d’Prix was mumbling something about a misunderstanding. Melancholy let go of Octavia and watched eagerly, grinning. Octavia stood up, automatically balancing herself. “So... Whore, would you like a banana?” Said Celestia, working each word in her mouth like savory candy. “Sure, does this mean I am forgiven?” Said Hors d’Prix. “Wait, wait, wait! What is the rush Whore, I just wanna clarify something real quick.” Said Celestia. “My name isn’t-” “Am I correct that you are mmmmwhoreymmmmm who likes mmmmmmbananas?” “Well, I do enjoy a good banana. Are they imported?” “You are a Whore who likes Bananas?!” Jeered Celestia from her throne. As this was going on, Melancholy turned to Octavia and asked, “The Banana Bag exists?” Octavia nodded eyes locked on Whore de Pee, as she now knew him as. “ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNAAAH AHAHAHA. Hahaha, ooooohhh. Next pony.” “Next pony?” Melancholy asked to no pony in particular. “Oops.” Said Octavia. “This isn’t good!” Hissed Melancholy, “I cannot believe after all my efforts.” The next pony entered the hall. “This is your fault, fix it.” Octavia made to return to her cello. “Ah ah ah,” Melancholy took Octavia in his tail and dragged her back to him. The mirror rewound and played a familiar scene. Octavia was at a loss for words. “You made the wish. I honestly thought that you wanted to leave this place, but you wasted it!” Said Melancholy. “Well I take it back, let me wish for something else.” Octavia said while averting her gaze from the mirror. “Do you have ears? I said wasted! Destroyed, lost, abused, thrown away etcetera.” Melancholy said under his breath. Octavia wheezed, “Can you at least stop squeezing me?” Then, “Whew, thanks. Now if you will excuse me, I have to try and run for my life.” She started to gallop. “Celestia can obviously see the door, you would need to be more than invisible to make it out of here that way.” Said Melancholy. Octavia was still galloping, and frothing at the mouth. “I do not care, monkey! She can’t catch me if I become a griffon!” “Yes, sh...” “I’ll go to um... Aquileopia? Yes, and I will be a griffon, and I will make money by staying at a zoo. They will all love me there, I can brush my mane and they will be all like: ‘whoa! she has a mane’. I’ll play it cool, and be all like: ‘ya huh’, and then they will all squee and throw dead rabbits at me, so I will have to tell them to bring popcorn next time. It will be perfect!” “Would that require me to let you down?” Asked Melancholy Octavia looked down to see her hooves treading air. “...On the MOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAHHHHHH!” “I’ll be fine.” Said Octavia, and she returned to her stationary escape. “As you are now, you are obviously a liability to my cause...” Said Melancholy. “Yes, lemme go!” “And I am running out of time...” Continued Melancholy. “Aren’t we all, haha.” “So I might have to make you my thrall...” Melancholy said, and with a sweep of his claw, cleared the mirror. “Sounds wonderful.” Octavia had not let her eyes leave the door. “I am so glad that we are in agreement, or perhaps you are an airhead. Let us begin the contract.” Melancholy bit his claw, and allowed a single drop of blood to hit the surface of the mirror. “Now if you could please make yourself bleed a little bit.” Octavia said nothing. “Just a drop is all. You see, the mirror is demanding sacrifice for you to use it again.” Said Melancholy, he held the mirror up beside Octavia. She took no notice. “My goodness, you have jumped off of the deep end have you not?” He shook Octavia gently, then a little more forcefully. Years of standing must have made her core rock solid because she just kept galloping. Drip. One drop of sweat, a glimmering pearl struck the mirror. “Perfect.” Breathed Melancholy. “MOOOOOOAAAAAAAAOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAH!” “Now calm down!” Said Melancholy. He kept his voice low without losing the urgency. He tightened his grip on Octavia, and she slowed down her frantic galloping. She was held there long enough for another pony to be sent to the moon. Long enough that she stopped moving almost entirely, save for ragged breathing. “You have one more chance. One more wish.” Melancholy told the grey mare. He still had her off of the ground, just in case. Octavia opened her mouth. Melancholy stuck the end of his tail in it. “Ag geeg eguf gegtai oo gow ger gish ish goig.” “I will not have you waste another wish. Think carefully now.” Melancholy said. He removed his tail. “Gah! That was disgusting.” Whispered Octavia in the angriest voice she could whisper. “Even so. Would you like some help?” Offered Melancholy. Octavia did not say yes. A brown and green pony appeared in the mirror. “Whoa! Hi Octavia.” The pony waved. Octavia waved back with less enthusiasm. To be specific, no enthusiasm at all. He continued, “How’d you find this mirror?” Octavia looked at Melancholy, he was shaking his head furiously. “I need help making a wish.” She replied simply. “Easy, wish for world peace.” The pony smiled. Octavia groaned, so he continued, “Well if that won’t float your boat, try super powers. Now, about this...” “What kind of super power?” Asked Octavia eagerly. Why had she not thought of that. “Freeze ray? Dunno, you might want to settle for something small, the bigger the wish, the more the mirror will control you.” “The mirror will control...” “You, yes.” Octavia, the mirror pony, and Melancholy all paused. Melancholy was focused on his claw at the moment, to busy concentrating to speak. Octavia glared at the mirror’s keeper with venom. “I take it that you don’t want that.” Said the mirror pony. “Of course I don’t. I want to cancel the wish.” “Sorry, it doesn’t work that way.” Melancholy nodded at the mirror pony’s reply. “Then what! I’m going to be sent to the moon and I’m going to serve this mirror for the rest of days?” Octavia squeaked. As is to punctuate her speech Celestia sent another pony to the moon. “Horseapples! Why does Celestia have the Banana Bag?” Demanded the mirror pony. “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” Screamed Octavia. “Octavia no!” Hissed Melancholy, too late. “I don’t think you should have shouted just now.” Said the mirror pony. Yellow aura picked Octavia, Melancholy, and the mirror into the air. The mirror pony vanished. Ever so slowly, Octavia saw the floor pass beneath her, taking her to Celestia. She turned her face away from the alicorn. Maybe the anonymity would buy her some time. This is it. This is where the bits had led her. To be trapped in the clutches of the tyrant who paid her. Goodbye cruel world. Clink Octavia’s ears twitched. What? The mirror had fallen from the air. She could see that yellow aura was still yanking at it, but it resisted, it was immune. “I know my wish!” She hushed. Melancholy beside her was quick on the uptake. He extended his tail without explanation, and snagged the mirror from the ground. He brought it to face Octavia. His face was a grin, it had always been a grin. Now Octavia noticed that in his eyes, there was a warning. Be careful. “I...” Octavia began. She could see that she was rising past the steps now. “Wish to be...” The aura began to spin her around, bringing her to face Celestia. “Like you mirror!” She had to crane her neck to maintain eye contact with her reflection. Melancholy hyecked. Octavia slipped out of her magic binds and dropped to the floor at Celestia’s hooves. She wasted no time, Octavia attacked. The Banana Bag was a worthy foe. Octavia struggled to push its large mass off the side of the throne. It fell to ruin below. The grey mare whinnied her triumph to the hall. She turned around. “Oh right, that.” That, was an alicorn. That, was a very rich powerful alicorn. That, was the pony with the political power of everlasting monarch. That, was the pony that did not even need political power because, that, could torch the planet as easily as the sunset she had performed countless times. That was her real opponent, the unapproachable, undisputed overlord of the entire known world. That was the tyrant Celestia. More importantly, that, did not look like good intentions on that royal face. That look in her eyes, was laughter. That, was scary. Because that smile, was not laughter. That smile was malice. That, was not a good combination. That, is why Octavia did not want to stick around. Octavia soon realized that all powerful tyrants did not need magic or guards to hold her in place. Fear would suffice. The grey pony looked around for Melancholy. He was slinking out the door. Perhaps he wasn’t a monkey. Melancholy was a rat. “I will have a talk with him later. So...” Said Celestia coolly. Octavia shivered. Yellow aura plucked at her coat. “Magic is useless on you? That is wonderful!” Cheered Celestia, her eyes rolled up and to the side. Octavia remained paralyzed. She could not think, she could not breathe. She knew she was being toyed with. “Please pray tell how you are doing that.” Tyrant Celestia continued. “This was Melancholy’s doing?” Octavia squeaked. The squeak snowballed on itself, it became a squeal. A whine, a note, a voice, a slightly louder voice, a shout escaped Octavia. “Oopsie, did I break you?” Tyrant Celestia pouted. That, got a mouthful of Octavia’s left hoof.