//------------------------------//
// Chapter 12 
// Story: Extra Equestrial Mayhem 
// by kudzuhaiku 
//------------------------------//

	Three centaur fillies, one unicorn filly, and one grey pegasus mare stood on the deck of a mighty ship that prowled the sea. The boat sort of looked like a bed… Not that anypony would mention that. And the sea looked a bit like concrete flooring. Not that anypony would notice. They were all wearing folded paper hats. 

“Shark in the water!” Bon Mot shouted, pointing a finger at Buttermilk, who stood in the middle of the room, looking annoyed. “Look out Captain Muffinbeard!” 

Captain Muffinbeard nodded, seeing the shark. She stood on the deck, poised in a salute, one wing raised to her brow. “Poop deck scrubber Dinky!” The captain shouted. “Prepare the cannon!” 

Poop deck scrubber Dinky did as instructed, lifting the bubble wand carefully in her magic, and then loosed a stream of soap bubble cannonballs at the annoyed looking shark. “Arr, it does nothing!” Poop deck scrubber Dinky cried. 

Cafe Mocha hoisted poop deck scrubber Dinky up over head and held her high. Dinky squealed. 

“The shark looks cranky.” Betelgeuse said. 

“I told you, I don’t want to play.” The shark said in an annoyed monotone. 

Rhubarb slid along the floor, pushing herself along with her hind hooves, her posteriour up high. 

“And that shark has a fat fin.” Cafe Mocha said.

“Hey!” Rhubarb said. 

Doctor Broadneck entered the room, causing the occupants of the boat to scream. “The Lurking Horror!” Poop deck scrubber Dinky shouted, seeing the doctor. The doctor froze, annoyed. 

“Who?” The doctor said.

“You.” Rhubarb said. 

“What?” The doctor said, baffled. 

“Pirates.” Rhubarb said, as though that explained everything. 

“Where?” The doctor said.

“In this room.” Rhubarb said, growing annoyed. 

“When?” The doctor said, confuzzled. 

“Right now, this moment.” Rhubarb said, rolling her eyes. 

“Why?” The doctor said, still confused. 

Rhubarb scooted herself along the floor until she reached the doctor. And then she bit him on the leg, just above his hoof. 

“Cannibal!” The doctor shouted, turning around and leaving the room.

Poop deck scrubber Dinky blew more bubbles. “Release the cannibals!” She shouted, still held high by Cafe Mocha. 

“Cannonballs.” Captain Muffinbeard corrected, cocking her hat to a jaunty angle with her wing. 

Buttermilk stood there, looking sour. “Snack time.” She said. “S’mores.” 

“S’mores?” Bon Mot said, suddenly looking frantic. “I’ll take a dozen.” She shouted, her face twitching slightly. 

Buttermilk almost looked concerned. “Nevermind.” She said in a low voice. 

“BUT I NEED S’MORES!” Bon Mot said, suddenly jonesing. She stood there in her paper hat, suddenly looking sad. 

Cafe Mocha set down poop deck scrubber Dinky gently upon the bed. “‘Scuse me poop deck scrubber Dinky.” She said kindly. Cafe Mocha launched herself from the bed, and tackled the shark in the water. 

Buttermilk saw stars. Literally. The room was suddenly as starry as the night. She couldn’t tell which way was up or down. She felt two strong arms wrap around her barrel, and then suddenly, she felt herself being hoisted in some direction, and she wasn’t sure which one. 

“You need a timeout.” Cafe Mocha said. She marched Buttermilk over to the corner, slung over her shoulder. She sat Buttermilk into the corner, facing the wall. “Stay!” Cafe Mocha said, pointing a finger. 

Captain Muffinbeard nodded in approval while Rhubarb giggled. 

“Did anypony get the name of the runaway wagon that hit me?” Buttermilk said dizzily. She wobbled back and forth on her haunches. “But teacher, I spent all spring break milking minotaurs.” She mumbled. 

Cafe Mocha returned to the mighty vessel and boarded, saluting the captain. “Sulky shark in timeout.” She reported smartly. 

“Good job first mate Cafe Mocha.” Captain Muffinbeard congratulated. 

“Promotion!” Cafe Mocha shouted. 

“I don’t want a promotion.” Betelgeuse said, looking disappointed. “I just want to plunder some booty. 

“Keep your fingers to your self!” Bon Mot shouted. 

Captain Muffinbeard struggled very hard to keep a straight face.