//------------------------------// // Chapter Five: da blak paraed // Story: My Little Immortal: Friendship is Gothic // by Posh //------------------------------// AN: RUDIMENTARY CREATURES OF BLOOD AND FLESH YOU TOUCH MY MIND FUMBLING IN IGNORANCE INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING THERE IS A REALM OF EXISTENCE SO FAR BEYOND YOUR OWN YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE IT I AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION ****** "Seedy Bell!" I shouted. "WTF! Do u rlly tink Im gong 2 go 2 an other concerto wit u afta wt happened last tim???" "R u sayin u did nut like doin it fiw me?" asked Sweetie Bell sadly and she started to make tears come out of her eyes because that's where tears come on ponies from you fucking retard. I started to have an octagon bcuz da site of her bein so goffic and sensitive and emo was so much dat it makez me horned lol. "No no Sweete Belle!" I said to her reassuredly. "I love 2 do it wif u! Its just dat I dun want us 2 get cought by thse fucking preps at school." "Oh okay" said Sweetie Belle. Well then "We'll just have 2 do it someplace where they cannot c us." "Wait a minute!" I had an idea. "Itz going 2 b a goffik contort, rite???" "Ya lol" siad Sweetie belle. "They were gong 2 invite Hilary Duff but I killed her and den Bon Bon did it wif her corpse bcuz shez a nekphilak." "Kawaii" I said. "Den if it's gong 2 be goffik, there wil b no ligtes!!! Ever1 nose dat darkness is the only place where goffs can b truly happy." I gasped. "We can do it at da consert1" "Kawaii" said Sweetie Belle.S he smelled happily. "Den Ill c u der!" "Kawaii." I walked off depressinglyhappily 2 get ready 4 the concert. I gasped! ****** I found Rampage (who is my best friend now that Applejack is dead) waiting 4 me outside of the school. "Heeyyy cunt" she said 2 me. "R u ready 2 get so smexy dat Sweetie bell will said "omfg ur so sexy???"???" "U no it gurl!" I smelled happily. "Well then letz get go shopping!!!" and we started to trot off. "OMFG I cantw ait 2 go 2 hot Topic!!!" I said. "I want 2 c if da new shade of black illiner is in yet." "That sounds great Ebony butt we're not going to Hot Topic" said RAmpage. I stopped walking so hard that dirt flew all over the place and all over Rampage and she was so smexy when she was covered in dirt all over her pale white coat and red strips that reminded me of freshly zlizt riztz dat I just wanted 2 do it wif her but I knew that that would onlyt make Bleedaloo want 2 kill herself again so I didn't do it wif her. Then I remembered what she said and I gasped. "We're not going to Hot Topik?!?!?!?!?! Rampage, R U A PREP?!?!?!?!?!" I reached for my MCR maschinegun and started to load it with laser-tipped blood bullets that I bought from Flem and Flan's store Den Rampage started to laugh. "No no, of course not u shitbag1. I just mean wer gonna go 2 a new goffik store dat I know about, It just opened up in Ponyvill!" "Oh okay lol." I put my machinegun back in2 my saddle and we went to Ponyville. I gasped! ****** When we got to Ponyville we encuntered B'Lood. "Heyy bitch!" I said suicidally. "Hi back," said B'Lood sadly. I could tell she was probably sad because that bitch Rarity was being rude to her agian. Rarity was the town's onyl dress maker, but because shes a total fucking prep she doesnt make anything for goffs. WHen Sweetie Bell got excepted in2 Celestia's School for Gifted Unicrons, she asked Rarity to make her some new cloves. She gave her designs for a long blak dress with purple trim and on the trim was written "My darkness is blacker then the blackest of darks." "That is the worst I dea you've ever had you worthless pile of trash!" said Rarity and it wasn't ok for her 2 say that becuz even tho goffs can say it to other goffs Rarity is not a goff. Then she starred shoving needles in2 Sweetie Bells skin and running electrical currents through them. Dat must b y she wont' let me do that 2 her. bcuz she's still traumatized from when Rarity did that to her. We went sexily to the shop where the goff clothes were. Suddenly............................B'Lood was behind the cunter! "OMFG" I gosped. "B'Lood! U didn't tell me dat u sold goffik cloves!" "Ya I do" said B'Lood. "I used to sell books in my book store butt then dat bitch Princess Candice told me that I could only sell The Princess Diarrheas." "Like, omigod, I love, like, those, like, books! Like!" said a fucking prep named Diamond Tiara. "STFU" I jumpe don Diamond Tiara and bited her and started dirnking her b'lood. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Diamond Tiara and then her friend Silver Surfer came in and saw it and started to do it wif her because they are sharks and sharks get horny when they see blood lol. "Neway what do u have 4 us to wear B'Lood?" I inquirered. She started rubbishing through her box. "We only keep these 4 da REEL goffs." "Da REEL goffs?"" Rampage and I asked awesomely. "Ya u wooden believe how many poser preps come in trying 2 look cool. Just the other day Pinkie Pie and bon-bon came in to buy a goffik binockyalers." Suddenlyt I knew y dey could see me yesterday when I was changin mah lcoves. "OMFG DAT MEANS DEY HAVE BAD VIZZIN!!!!!!!" I ran out of the changing room and everypony saw me and started to clop 4 me. "Very nice Ebony1!!" said Rampage. "Ya u look so smexy in dat dress! It's sooooooo you!" said B'Lood clopping very hard. "Fangz" I went 2 go pay 4 da cloves. "How much wikl it kost?" "Oh it looks so good on u dat 2 charge u 4 it wood be criminal." She smelled understatedly at me. "Itz good 2 c u again Ebony. I mussed u." "Me 2" I grumped. "Maybe I wil c u at da corset?" "Ya!" said B'Lood. "N Mebbe we culd tock sum more." "Ya except I have a fillyfriend now u fucking lesbo pervy bitch!!!!" I shouted and I used my royal canterlot voice on her "FUS RO DAH" and destroyed her entire shop but it's ok becuz were goffs and goffs have da best disaster insurance in Equestria n 4 sum raisin I count as a disaster. Neway we got sexily into da goffik blak Apache helicopter n started flinging back 2 Cunterlot. "I cant wait 2 show Sweetie bell my new outfit!" i jingled. We got back 2 da castle. Suddenly Spike ran out. "EboNY YU NEED 2 COME IN NOW!!!! Butt we told him 2 fuck off lol and then me an al my frendz went 2 get red 4 da consort. "MAKE-OVER TIIIIIIIME" said B'Lood and we all giggled. We put on our make-up (white foundation, TONS of blacl eyeliner, black and red lipstick with pentagram shapes in da middle of our lips, blue steel eyesharrow and black blush), and our cloves. I was wearing the sleazy black dress dat showed off my hindquarters all sexily without making me look like a slut, and my black converse shoes On my back I wore my MCR machine gun and Discord's preppy pink shotgun wif blond hari. If anypony asked I wood tell dem dat I killed Trotleton Heston and pried it form his cold deahooves. I did up my mane 2 look liek Natalie Portman's hair in dat movie V for Vendetta except instead of shaving my head I kept it long. Rampage was wearing her silver and black soldierz unifrom dat se ewars 2 skull danses and a blood red pocket watch dat instead of telling time tells u how goffik u r. B'Lood was wearing da dress dat she wor 2 da grand galloping gala in dat esipode about da grand galloping gala from da show accept instead of being bleu with stars and moons on it it was a sea of red blood and it was covered in da screaming souls of da dammed. "So who r u gong 2 da grand glaloping gayla wif?" I queeried. "Im going 2 go wif Doctor Hoofs." Said Ditzy Doo. Doctor Hoofs was the school sinus teacher. His lessons were alyaws cool beczu he didnt try 2 teach us science and instead we just did drugs and had do it on da desks while he played a funky sitar. "IM gong 2 go wif Saren" said B'Lood. "I no hes gay but he still likes gurls." "And IM gong 2 go wif Applejack" said Rampage. I thought about Bleedaloo and realized dat she wood probably stay home n sliztz her riztz insted of cum 2 da consert. I felt bad 4 her but den I tohot about how Sweety Bell and I were going 2 do it later and den I 4got about bleedaloo. Neway our dates all got there. Da boi wer wearing black illiner and leather jacksons. Sweetie Bell was wearing her suit of N7 armor. We got in2 her goffik black car wit maschine guns instead of license plates and drove 2 Ponyvill 4 da consert. We did pot, coke, an dcrak. We got 2 da consert n jumped out of da car and ran 2 da stage. Marlion Monroe was onstage wif his band Green Day. They looked so hot. I was so fucking hapy. Den suddenly...................James Monroe took off his mask!!! Da otherz did da same. I gasoed. I new who dat was and it wasnt James Taylir. It was a preppy dragon snake with lots of different pars and arms and legs and a snaggletoof!!! It was......................................Discord and his Discordant Disco Dancers!!!!! "Ebony!" he said badly. "U halve not jkilled Twilight Sparjle yet!!1!!!" "No no plz don't kill Sweetie Bell!!!!" I pleased. "Look ill kill her right now 4 u!!!!" i took out my gunz and pointed dem at B'Lood but it's oky because us goffs always point firearms at each other with intent to kill so i ignored it when B'Lood rattled off a string of epithets and profanities at my sudden betrayal. "No! ITz 2 latte!!!" Discord started 2 take out his nife. Syddenly.....................a goffik black pony wit long flowing red hair that looked like Principle Celestia's hair except red and purple and red flu in!!!!!! She was wearing a GC concert T. I gasped........................Principle Celestia had cum 2 save us!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GASPED!