The bachelorette party was going pretty well. Most likely because Rainbow and Vinyl hadn’t been seen for two days and were probably lost or something. Twilight knew they could take care of themselves and would turn up eventually. A fast food restaurant that Fleur frequented was being used for the party and it was a very low key affair that might have Pinkie Pie calling it anything but a party. The pink pony would have made a highly explosive affair of it that would have been visible to all ponies without a thought about what Fleur would have wanted.
Twilight just bit into and savored the hay stuffer sandwich leaving some ketchup covering her lips slightly. She just scraped the globs of tasty condiment off her face with her magic and shoved it back into the sandwich. Her preferred method for eating a hay fries stuffed sandwich was to never waste a single part of the sandwich.
“Why am I here for this again?” The changeling thought it odd that it was taking part in a female only party, when it wasn’t entirely female. It had tried and failed to get away from the euphoric feeling of being around the two love birds when they were near each other.
“Well you’re at least half female right? Just live with it.” The blunt way Tress said it made it nonnegotiable. It was that way since the changeling was already here and it would have been rude for it to leave.
“I’m also half male; doesn’t that mean I should be joining Fancy in his bachelor party as well?” The changeling had to wonder if it was being held at the same time as this one was.
“We obviously don’t care… do you even have a name? I just realized you’ve been around for the last three days and not once has any pony ever called you anything other than the changeling, hey you, ‘it’ and the incredible living maul me sign.” Octavia quirked a brow at Tress at that last one, said pony just shrugged at the musicians’ scrutiny.
“Yes well, that last one is something that I wish would stop happening to me.” The changeling had been mauled on the way to the fast food restaurant; at least Fluttershy was willing to aid it in a time of distress while the others just stood by gawking at its predicament. One could only wonder how a panther ended up in the streets of Canterlot; the changeling thought it saw a purple and blue ahuizotl for a few seconds after it’s uncalled for out of nowhere mauling. The changeling was lucky Fluttershy always carried a medical kit on hoof for such emergencies.
Twilight was thoroughly amused by the banter, she was a bit freaked out that she saw the familiar creature from the Daring Do books. Other than one of its many cats mauling the poor changeling, the ahuizotl didn’t seem to even attempt or want to involve itself in her life as another obstacle in the road despite the very opportunity to do so. This was something Twilight was rather thankful for.
On a sheet of paper Twilight had several ideas of how the wedding could go wrong and was writing them down and putting details to them about problems she was trying to divine by just thinking backwards.
First up was the evil ex colt friend scenario, this was something she was going to be looking out for the most as the stallion was definitely of the unscrupulous sort.
Twilight had discerned from Fleur that the pegasus only came and got into an argument at odd times with her, sometimes with no other unicorn around and the interesting thing about it all is that Fleur remembered princess Cadence being around for every incident. The princess of love was a pony that Twilight remembered and noted as the alicorn foal sitter that lived down the street from her parents when she was younger. The stallion was definitely bad news if he was trying to manipulate the princess of love into forcing Fleur to love him by starting up arguments with Fleur when the princess was around. The love princess had been known to have the habit of using impulsion spells on two ponies she might view vaguely as couples without a second thought; it was just surprising she hadn’t forced a brother and sister to commit forced incest yet with all the horror stories and rumors surrounding her.
Twilight thought Princess Cadence really should think before she just casts her impulsion spells without thinking about it first, if that is indeed what was happening every single time Fleur met her ex colt friend. Fleur is truly lucky she’s really good at shrugging off impulsion spells, there’s a reason those spells aren’t shared with just any pony but the most trustworthy of those who wouldn’t abuse them. Cadence’s special talent might be related to such spells, but it sounded like she didn’t use them in a completely chaste manner or understood the complete ethical and moral issues of doing so.
Second, on some off chance that her hunch is right the minotaurs are going to stage a jailbreak on the day of the wedding as their injuries have most likely healed by this point. To compound the issue, her mom wouldn’t be able to fly her pet Roc in the city without having to pay for all the collateral damage that it might cause, not to mention incidental deaths. It wasn’t as much of a problem or issue in the open space of the mountain range the train tracks went over.
Minotaurs were tough creatures to keep down; chances are the celestial guards thought they’d be safe to be put in normal cells in a labyrinth style dungeon for holding and questioning purposes. That said they’d probably punch their way out through the walls or at least some of the stronger ones would.
It would be just her luck for something like this to occur, not only that but they’d actively seek her out for revenge and they’d somehow arrive at the wedding at a really inopportune moment. It wasn’t as likely to happen, it’s not like the celestial guard were so incompetent as to stick a minotaur behind something easily breakable as a wooden door or bendable like cheap metal bars.
Third, even only seeing an ahuizotl for a second had her wary. If it were anything like the ahuizotl from the Daring Do novel, it would probably be going after one of the wedding presents for Fleur and Fancy. Said present would turn out to be some kind of ancient magical Saddle Arabian staff that summons a oracle that answers only one question the holder has with perfect clarity or something, because why not complicate things in her life further?
Fourth, there were unknown complications that a pony just couldn’t account for. Who knows what could happen? Twilight Sparkle’s life was never simple, easy or normal. Chances are something she couldn’t account for would happen. She put down, fifty foot giant banana monster being the least likely thing to appear from what she could think of off the top of her head.
Fifth and lastly, some sort of minor apocalypse setting off for only one part of the city that would require Cerberus to leave the gates of Tartarus to retrieve some minor demons. Twilight seriously hoped something like that couldn’t be blamed on her or even become a problem.
“Hey Twilight what’s that your writing there?” Tress finally took an interest in the small list Twilight was making.
“It’s just a list of things that aren’t very likely to happen if at all, but are bound to around me anyway. What if all of them were to happen at the same time? It’s so infinitesimal a chance that that’s the likeliest thing to occur.” Twilight passed the list to Tress and she read it over.
“Yeah, I seriously don’t want fight some minor demons and a giant banana. That would be a little too weird, even for us Twilight and we’re sitting at a table having lunch with a recently mauled by a panther changeling at a bachelorette party.” It was not impossible to Tress though, she didn’t say it was impossible and as long as she didn’t say it out loud it should never come to pass.
“Can you two not discuss Trouble Takers business at the table and think of something a little more pleasant please? Life is not always out to get you two. Fleur is the one that has to be worrying about her ex boyfriend out to get her.” Octavia figured they were focusing too much on the trouble centering on them when it was not always the case. “You’re kind of being self centered, just so you know the world does not revolve around whatever you two end up doing.”
“You’re right Octavia, but I’m still wary after the attack on the café and then the train thing. Some pony could have been permanently injured or worse.” Twilight really felt guilty as she had a part in the creation of said thing that had attacked the cafe.
“It’s not like the café was your fault, who knows where that thing actually came from! Also it’s not like you could have predicted an army of minotaurs attacking a passenger train all of the sudden.” It took a moment but Octavia noticed Fluttershy, Tress and Twilight were all looking away from her at the mention of the café. They obviously knew where it came from, possibly what it was and why it had assaulted the café in the first place. Octavia believed they were good ponies though, Twilight did say she took care of it after rescuing Tress. “Okay, I’m not going to ask then. You’re my friends and if you want me to drop the thing about the café attack, I will.”
“Please do.” Twilight murmured sadly while Fluttershy wrapped a hoof around her and gave her a hug. “I feel guilty enough just knowing how that creature came to be in the first place. In fact I’ll change the subject, so are you truly okay with eating here? I know you have rather specific aspirations and a taste for upper class mannerisms.”
“Some of them have no sense of taste at all. The first noble to tell me onion rings are a lower class food are wrong and will feel my wrath verbally. If they continue to persist that it’s commoner food, they won’t be persisting much longer without any teeth.” Even Octavia got a run in with a bad noble or two and figured that she didn’t care for some of the things they touted on her own.
“I too have a passion for some of the simpler things Octavia, like fried carrot dogs and mustard. The crunch of the carrot and tang from the mustard on my tongue is ever so pleasant. You know, I truly hope we can enjoy moments like this again after I’m married.” Fleur wasn’t afraid of getting married to Fancy and she was pretty sure he was ready for this too. They’d discuss having foals at a later date after they were wed.
“You’re kidding right? Any of us will want to do this again. Daisy hay fry stuffers with lots of ketchup or just a plain fried daisy sandwich if we’re talking about fun unhealthy fried obsessions.” Twilight might have been slightly messy eater, but she knew what she loved.
“Hay fries in general for me.” Tress just liked good hay fries in the fried foods department.
“I like fried pickles.” Fluttershy shared hesitantly and smiled shyly while keeping more than half her face behind her pink mane.
“I tend to favor the crisp taste of confidence in the morning personally.” All the ponies stared at the changeling. “Hey, you are the ones that dragged me here! So I may as well offer some input too once in a while.”
“So does everyone know what they are going to be doing at the wedding except for the changeling who’s apparently not going?” Fleur was only asking now as she was pretty sure they had gone over everything her friends would be doing.
“Yes.” All the ponies answered back.
“Splendid, I hope to have a long engaging happy life. For better or worse I hope I can do right by Fancy as much as he does so by me.” Fleur smiled brightly and toasted to her future with a wonderful charming stallion she’d spend eternity with if she could.
“Fleur, I’m honored to even be a part of your wedding and your friend. I’m also exceedingly happy to be your hairdresser for it too.” If Twilight got to play with her mane some more then things couldn’t be all that bad. She giggled to herself merrily at the thought.
“It all sounds so romantic Fleur, I wish I can find a mare that will sweep my off my hooves like Fancy does for you. How did he propose to you?” Fluttershy noticed her question caused quite a stir at the table; they were all now staring at Fleur as no pony had bothered to even ask that before.
“Well…” Fleur smirked and her eyes trailed to each pony leaning in closely and even the token changeling at the table was intrigued to hear this news. “I’m the one that asked him to marry me; we were at an art gallery at the time and I popped the question to him eloquently enough with a specially made painting. He said yes and I’m the happiest mare in the world for it, he was surprised that I would be so bold. It was our fifty seventh date too, he’s just that intoxicating to me.”
“How did you two end up meeting in the first place?” Twilight was interested in how Fleur came to the marriage conclusion first. After fifty or more dates of dancing around each other emotionally, it must have been comedic to watch the two interacting and not scream about why they weren’t married already.
“Here in this very fast food restaurant ironically enough, I’m not the only famous pony in Canterlot that doesn’t stick to the status quo. I don’t care about saving face if I’m caught, but until then I’m going to keep enjoying the mystery about me when I go off the celebrity grid for a few hours. Anymore questions?” Fleur was soon being pressed for all sorts of memorable moments from her dates; she was happy to share them with all of her friends and might even lend some advice from experience to them if they asked for it.