by Misago
***
It was the day of the annual Canterlot Royal Guard Festival. All over the city, soldiers and civilians came together to celebrate their united work for the wealth and security of Equestria, and all of Ponykind.
As far as the eyes could see, there were food stands, bands playing, game stalls and military demonstration of every kind imaginable.
And as a special event, there was even a detachment from the Crystal Empire, lead by their princess and her husband themselves.
In the middle of all the commotion, one purple and one pink alicorn princess were sitting at a wooden table, watching a nearby weapons exhibition with barely hidden disinterest. Not so much the weapons, but two of the white-coated ponies looking at the many instruments of varying lethality.
"Do you think it's a male thing?", asked Cadance while watching her dear husband nearly salivate over an ornate shield the guard stallion presented to him.
"I'm not so sure anymore", replied Twilight. "Look at Celestia. I mean, I wore that skirted armor for her birthday, but I didn't think it would become a regular thing."
Cadance only smirked at the adorable blush on her sister-in-law's cheeks. With a deep breath, she got to her feet.
"Come on", she said with a beckoning hoof, "while our significant others are busy acting like foals in the toy store, we can take a stroll. There is someone who was quite eager to meet you again."
Princess Celestia was facing a dilemma.
As the ruler of Equestria, she had to face tough choices every day. Just this morning, Twilight had asked her whether she wanted strawberry sundae or Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte for a dessert, It had taken her less that a minute to decide.
Sundae first, Twilight as main course, the Torte saved for last, obviously.
But now she found herself on unfamiliar territory. The only thing she could do was follow her intuition.
"No", she said with determination. The guard mare nodded and removed the gold-adorned three-bladed disc away.
"What about this one, princess?"
Another piece was brought out in front of Celestia. This one resembled a half-living, half-dead gnarly branch of a particularily creepy tree. At one end, two prongs formed something resembling a grip. On the other end, Celestia could see six extensions emitting an ominous blueish glow.
"What in the name of harmony is that?"
"It is called Phage, princess. We found it in one of Lu-... of Nightmare Moon's old hideouts, and from the descriptions, it emits biochemical energy which instantly disintegrates anything it ..."
"Give me that!"
The golden glow of Celestia's telekinesis yanked the weapon from the table.
The unhappy pout the guard mare wore withered under Celestia's stare, so she hurried to bring the last item out.
A tube. A grip. A projectile. Such simplicity. Such elegance. Such Firepower.
Celestia's sparkling eyes revealed everything the guard mare needed to know.
"I'll wrap it for you, princess."
The shield was all he needed.
Shining Armor knew that for a fact.
The voice had given him the shield. What a nice voice.
All the voice wanted from him was to sign his name on an empty roll of parchment.
He'd been all too happy to oblige.
He and the shield would be happy together.
"Hello? Captain?"
A certain blue-maned pegasus guard carefully approached the servant entrance to the castle.
How strange it was for the captain to send him here, of all places. By messenger, no less. But he recognized his captain's signature everywhere, so the order was legit.
A shame. How he had wanted to meet Princess Twilight again.
The servant entrance was open, but the building was dark. For a moment, he thought he'd heard wings rustling, but chalked it up to his imagination.
Boldly, he stepped inside - only to have a steel tube pressed right in his face. As he tried to decipher what exactly he was looking at, he could hear a feminine voice growl:
"If you look at my wife, you forfeit your life."
Click.