Discord had a plan. It obviously didn’t succeed, but now he had another plan. It was a much more diabolical plan indeed.
Being frozen in stone gets a draconiquus thinking. There isn’t much else to do besides that. In his thoughts, Discord mentally searched for the reason why his plan had failed so miserably. Twice now, he had been thwarted from reaching his goal of total chaos. Was it too much to ask? It wasn’t like he killed anypony.
After a while, he suddenly realized why his plan failed. He realized why every villain ever in this stupid world of Equestria never succeeded. Ever.
The plans that Discord and countless other diabolical minds had come up with were thwarted because all of those plans were childish. It was as if someone sterilized all of the villainy in the world to an acceptable level for six year olds. Nightmare Moon’s plan, to turn the world into a perpetual state of darkness, for example. Her motives were evil, but never once did she ever inflict any true pain. The worst wounds sustained by a few ponies were bruises that ached for a couple of days. Humiliating.
And then there was Discords plan. Yes, his motives were just as evil as Nightmare’s, if a little more chaotic. And fun. For some reason, nopony else thought chaos was so much fun. And, just like Nightmare Moon, Discord was eventually defeated by the six little ponies that caused everypony so much trouble. And, most especially, the Elements of Harmony.
Discord mentally sighed; he obviously couldn’t physically do so. It was just sad, how easily and quickly his diabolical plan was countered and put to a swift end. After all of his effort, Discord was stuck in a rock. Why?
Countless times, Discord mentally reviewed his plan. He knew what he needed to do.
From his rock imprisonment, Discord could, in a way, “see” whatever he wanted by his chaotic magic. Nowhere in Equestria was safe from his spying sight. Nowhere in the entire universe was safe. Outside of this universe, there were countless parallel universes. They were constantly being created by the infinite cosmic energy that flowed through everything. This cosmic energy additionally gave Discord and every other magical being his or her power.
One universe in particular stood out to Discord. It was a universe completely unlike his own, or any other universe, for that matter. It was a dimension filled with strange, intelligent creatures known as humans. What made this odd, two legged race stand out to Discord was the ruthless, bloodthirsty nature, and the will to succeed that he needed to take over Equestria.
More than that, the humans were Experts over nature. The machines they created were capable of destroying and conquering anything. From powerful metal boxes on four wheels, to great weapons that cast fire and lead into flesh, humanities’ technology was unprecedented.
That technology would beat the pathetic Elements of Harmony any day. If Discord could find a way to get the humans to join his cause, then nothing could stop him. No more stone prisons, no more peace, no more harmony. Only chaos. And Discord would be king of it all.
The only thing standing in his way was the obvious fact that he was frozen stiff in a statue. Discord knew how to escape his stone prison, he had done so before. But Celestia had been clever enough to lock him in the bottom of her dungeon, just in case. For once, she wasn’t completely ignorant to the villainy in her empire. Last time, she had been vain enough to put Discord out on display in her garden. Moron.
However, Discord had…other ways to escape. The moment after his previous escape from his stone prison, Discord cast a magic spell over himself. After a period of one year, the stone enchantment surrounding him would collapse. It was mere hours until the de-enchantment spell was about to take effect.
Suddenly, Discord “saw” two armed Royal Guards, and, by the stars, Princess Celestia herself opening the heavy door into Discord’s prison cell. They all walked into the damp room.
“Well then, Discord, I do hope your time here has been pleasant.” Celestia smirked to herself. Discord wanted to throw her into the nearest volcano. Celestia magically levitated the heavy draconiquus stature onto a metallic cart the two Royal Guards had brought in with them.
Before they walked out of the cell, Celestia took another sly look at Discord. “I have use of your…troublesome powers. I know you can hear me, so please listen. I understand you don’t want to do much more than wreak chaos on the entire world, but no more. My pupils will do an excellent job reforming you into a good draconiquus. Trust me on that, Discord.”
After hearing this absurd statement, Discord wanted, though he couldn’t, to roll-on-the-floor-laughing. (Discord discovered this term while studying the humans.) How ridiculous, Discord thought, that Celestia would even consider trying to reform him. It was just a big waste of time. But, Discord was indescribably pleased, because being, “reformed,” meant his freedom. No more stone prison. It was nothing but cotton candy cloud filled skies ahead.
Celestia and the two Royal Guards trotted towards the door, dragging Discord in the wagon behind them. As they grew closer, Discord could just taste freedom. It tasted like chocolate milk rain.
Just before they reached the door, Discord felt a disturbance in that cosmetic energy earlier described. It was like something was ripping a hole through time and space out of one universe and into another. A huge flash of light from behind him confirmed his theory.
Everypony quickly turned around to face the blinding white energy that simply appeared in the back of the dungeon. The Royal Guards and Celestia had confused and terrified expressions on their puny faces. If Discord could move his face, his expression would’ve been one of excitement and happiness. He had an idea of what was going on.
A few seconds later, the light dimmed slightly, and everypony could just make out a figure standing directly in front of it. For a moment or two, it was nothing but a shadow, as if it didn’t exist at all. Only Discord knew exactly what is was.
Slowly, the unknown creature focused into view.
The strange creature stood on two spindly legs, with two arms, and a head. It was clothed in jet black fatigues, like the night itself was etched into the fabric. At the ends its strange arms were odd, claw like appendages, but clearly not claws. In one of those strange claw things it held an odd piece of metal pointed at the group. Its face wasn’t that different from a pony face, two eyes, a mouth, and two ears. But it was clearly different all the same.
A few awkward moments of staring at each other later, the human spoke, in clear Equestrian, “You can call me the Expert. I, and my colleagues, have successfully broken the Interdimensional boundaries between our universe and yours. I would like to speak to whoever is in charge please. Take me to your leader.” The alien’s face curled up in smile, like it had just said some kind of a joke. Celestia, and the two Royal Guards, were not amused.
Discord felt something inside him. Something he hadn’t felt since his last prison break. Chaos. Enough to break the stone enchantment.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Discord utilized the chaotic energy around him and cracked the stone prison around him. As it fell apart, Discord began to feel his life coming back to him. His senses quickly reasserted themselves. Celestia, the Royal Guards, and the human, were all taken completely by surprise. Celestia stared helplessly in disbelief that Discord was somehow able to escape. The two Royal Guards drew their short swords and pointed them directly at the escaping Discord. The human, though surprised, didn’t seem alarmed.
A few seconds later, Discord was completely free of his stone prison. The two Guards slashed at him with their pointed swords, but with a snap of his griffin claw, Discord turned them into balloons. They harmlessly bounced of Discord, and the two Royal Guards drew back, afraid and confused. Before Celestia could do anything, Discord turned her into a fish. She dropped harmlessly into a fishbowl full of water and a little stone replication of Canterlot as decoration. Discord then turned both her Royal Guards into fish as well, and now the trio swam helplessly in circles around the fishbowl.
With his problems solved, Discord turned to face the human. “The leader? That would be me.” Discord said as he teleported directly next to the human. Again, the human seemed unfazed by this use of magic.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to your race for a long time. It’s great that we finally get to know each other.” Discord said as he magically put himself and the human into chairs around a small, circular table. Taking a moment to look at the white gash in the fabric of reality, Discord saw a multitude of other humans working around a big, dangerous looking machine that was probably causing the tear in time and space.
“How do you know about us?” The human asked, somewhat nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t impressed by anything he had seen thus far.
“I have my ways…Expert. Is that really your name? Is that the word written on your birth certificate? I wish I had that name. The Expert.” Discord said as he sipped some wine from a glass he magically placed on the table.
Suddenly, one of the humans, a female, frantically started pushing buttons and pulling levers all over the big machine. The machine was making all sorts of strange sounds, and the tear in the fabric of reality seemed to be waning. “Sir, the Interdimensional Ray can’t hold together much longer! The hole between dimensions will close shortly. I advise that you come back over to our universe, please.”
The Expert nodded towards the human. “Understood, coming now.” That said, the Expert got up, and waked towards the gash in reality. Discord wasn’t done with him yet.
“Wait, I have one itsy-bitsy, tiny little favor to ask of you.” Discord said before the human walked back into his dimension.
“What is that?”
“To cause some chaos.”