Princess Twilight Sparkle awoke to the familiar scent of clean mane all around her. It reminded her of the days from her filly-hood when many a late night study session with Princess Celestia ended with the purple unicorn snug, warm, and quite sleepy in the ever-flowing tail of Equestria's immortal monarch. The memory brought a smile to her face and she slowly slid open one sand-encrusted eye.
The sunlight blasted into her retinas and turned the dull ache in her head into a full force earthquake.
Her pained scream came out as an irritated groan instead and she desperately tried to roll away from the offensive light source.
Something impeded her progress.
Something warm, breathing, and latched onto her midsection.
The obvious answer was that Spike had crawled into bed with her after the reception and was snuggling with her from force of habit.
But Spike didn't have fur.
Dreading what she might find, Twilight cracked her eye open just enough to confirm her suspicions.
This was not her bed.
This was not her room.
That was definitely not Spike holding her like a teddy bear.
It was, to her dawning horror, the magician who called herself the Great and Powerful Trixie.
Twilight's mouth fell open in shock at the sight of her one time rival holding her close with what looked like genuine affection. Even in sleep, there was a cat-like look of satisfaction on the show-pony's face. Her mane was a tangled mess and her coat had several areas where the fur seemed to be standing straight up, almost like it had been licked...
Twilight's eye twitched as the possibility crossed her mind that she was the one responsible for both the matted fur and pleased expression.
What the buck had happened last night?
Honestly, she could barely remember. The last thing she could clearly recall was being goaded by Rainbow Dash into sampling some of the reception's hard cider. No, not just Dash. Somepony else was there, egging her on. She concentrated hard and almost saw the white mare who had put her in this situation...
“You should really learn to lighten up, my most faithful stu...”
The white noise washed the hazy memory away and Twilight rubbed her temples with an anguished moan.
Whoever was responsible was unimportant. Right now, she needed to wake up Trixie and convince her to never tell another soul about this incredibly awkward situation. She took a breath to steel herself and lifted a hoof to shake the blue unicorn awake.
“Mmmmm... keep doing that...”
Willing herself not to scream, Twilight craned her neck back to find the source of the very familiar voice. The magenta mare was back to back with the alicorn and was shifting around in her sleep, obviously in the midst of a very pleasurable dream.
“I can do things, y'know...” Cheerilee muttered in her slumber. “Things that little wife of yours has never dreamed of...”
Twilight's eyes flicked back and forth between the two mares beneath the sheets with her. Despite her best attempts, the old familiar panic was beginning to break through as the situation became more and more clear.
She'd gotten very drunk at the reception... and apparently bedded both Ponyville's former dictator and beloved school teacher.
At the same time.
She could hear Spike's voice in her head. “Niiiiiiice.”
Her mind reeled. What else had happened last night? Was there more she wasn't seeing? Was somepony like Spitfire about to stroll in and regale her with how spectacular their interracial four way had been?
At that moment the white noise in Twilight's head vanished and she realized that it hadn't been white noise at all.
It had been a running shower.
The door across from the bed slowly opened. A cloud of shower mist billowed forth, obscuring the identity of her fourth bed mate... but not their wings.
As her sanity began to slip, the crazy thought entered Twilight's mind that maybe she'd been transported into some sort of spicy romance novella.
The pegasus stepped into the room.
He was not Spitfire.
He was...
He was...
...she knew exactly who this stallion was.
And somehow that made the situation worse.
Flash Sentry saw her open eyes and smiled. “Good morning, your majesty.”
His voice made her other bed mates stir. Cheerilee and Trixie both stretched, groggily opened their eyes... and promptly screamed.
“Okay, good. We're all on the same page then.” Twilight dead-panned.
“W-what are you two doing in the Great and Powerful Trixie's motel room?” Trixie stammered as she quickly pulled her hooves back from the alicorn princess' body.
“So we're in the Ponyville Motel. There's my next question answered.”
Cheerilee, already retreated to the foot of the bed, coughed harshly. A purple feather flew from her mouth and fluttered to the messy bedspread. “My life is over.” She whispered in horror.
“Calm down, Cheerilee.” Twilight found that now that she was now able to address her bed-mates, her grasp on the situation at hoof was getting stronger. “Nopony outside of this room is ever going to hear anything about this.”
“Trixie should certainly hope not.” Trixie sniffed the air haughtily. “The very idea that the Great and Powerful Trixie would debase herself by falling into bed with her greatest rival! It's absurd.” Her eyes flicked to Twilight's twitching wings. “Even if that rival is now a princess.”
Twilight ignored her and looked instead to the royal guard. “Let's just focus on figuring out how we all got here. Flash, why are you in Ponyville? Aren't you supposed to be in the Empire?”
Flash shuffled his hooves. “Yes ma'am. But Princess Celestia requested me specifically as one of her escorts to last night's wedding.”
“So you were at the wedding. So was I, obviously. And Cheerilee, you were there. That still doesn't explain why Trixie...”
“...s at the wedding...”
Twilight's ears perked up. “What was that?”
Trixie looked away and spoke a bit louder. “Trixie was at the wedding. Or, rather, the reception.” She sighed. “Trixie was hired to entertain the foals with magic tricks.”
“...so, do you remember what happened?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie did not hang around longer than was necessary.” She scoffed. “Trixie collected her payment and retreated to the bar downstairs to drown her sorrows and hopefully find something to keep Trixie occupied.” She looked at Flash Sentry with approving eyes. “Trixie apparently succeeded.”
“Right back at ya, ma'am.” Flash returned with a smirk.
“Flash!” Twilight snapped. “I wouldn't be so okay with this if I were you. You could be in serious trouble.”
Flash raised an eyebrow. “Trouble?”
“You had your way with three drunken mares, one of whom is a princess and the sister-in-law of the monarchs to whom you have been assigned!”
“With all due respect, ma'am, I didn't 'have my way' with anypony. If anything, it was Miss Trixie and Miss Cheerilee who had their way with me.”
Twilight's resolve faltered. “You mean we... we didn't...?”
“Not for my lack of trying, ma'am. And we did make out a fair bit.” Flash blushed and looked away. “Everytime I tried to do anything more, you stopped me. You assured me that it was nothing personal, just that I reminded you too much of someone else.”
“You mean somepony else.” Cheerilee muttered, her teaching side fighting through her pounding head.
“No ma'am. She specifically said someone.”
Twilight blushed furiously. “Never mind that. You seem to remember last night very well, Flash.”
Flash's chest puffed out despite himself. “We Royal Guards have to have a high tolerance for alcohol, your majesty.”
“So kindly explain how this all came to be.”
Flash cleared his throat. “I'm not sure of the whole thing, your majesty. Trixie and I were doing shots when you and Miss Cheerilee showed up, already fairly blitzed. You saw me, joined us, and we headed upstairs when the bar closed a few hours later.”
Cheerilee looked at the other two mares and then at the pegasus. “So... you and I...?”
Flash nodded.
Cheerilee gave the guard a once over, her initial panic fading quickly. “Well, I've certainly ended up with worse hook-ups, especially back in my college days.” She shrugged. “I learned back then that alcohol and I don't exactly mix.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Then why...?”
“You were drowning your sorrows, so was I.” Cheerilee shot her a look full of daggers. “Kindly drop it.”
Trixie's mouth snapped shut.
Twilight ignored them both and remained focused on the increasingly flustered guard. “Okay, so we headed upstairs. Did anything else happen aside from you three becoming intimately familiar with each others reproductive organs?”
“...I don't understand the question.”
“She wants to know if you remember her getting any tail from one of us.” Trixie responded, rolling her eyes as she did so.
“Oh.” Flash smiled guiltily. “Uh... yeah. You three got into it pretty heavy.” He looked down and muttered something that sounded like, “ItmighthavebeenthehottestthingI'veeverseen...”
Twilight rubbed her forehead with a hoof. “Great. Just great...”
Cheerilee reached out and patted the alicorn on the back. “These things happen, Twilight. If I had a bit for every time I stumbled drunkenly into bed with one of my friends, I could retire from teaching.”
“That's a little bit of information I didn't need, but I suppose you're right.” Twilight sighed as she jumped from bed and headed for the door. “Can I at least be a decent one night stand and walk you home?”
Cheerilee nodded and joined her.
Flash looked to her, slightly panicked. “Your majesty, I'm sorry about all this. You're not going to tell Princess Celestia about this, are you?”
Twilight smiled and shook her head. “All things considered, Flash, you appeared to have been a perfect gentlecolt. Seeing as how you had the good sense to stop when I asked you to... Cheerilee? Do you have any complaints?”
The school teacher waved her hoof in a dismissive fashion.
“Then you're in the clear. Enjoy the rest of your time in Ponyville, Lieutenant Sentry.” She leaned close and whispered into his ear. “Of course, if any of this leaves this room, then I will see to it you have a very long assignment in the Bad Lands. Understood?”
Flash gulped and nodded.
“Good.” She glanced over at Trixie, the lone mare still on the bed. “And, uh, do what you can to ensure that Trixie has some happy memories when she leaves this time.”
Flash saluted her as she pulled away. “Yes ma'am.” After the two mares had left and the door had closed behind them, he turned his attention back to the magician on the bed. “Do you really not remember anything from last night?”
Trixie scoffed and laid back on the pillows. “Don't be stupid. The Great and Powerful Trixie is many things... but a school-filly who cannot handle her alcohol is not one of them. I remember it all perfectly.”
“Then why the act?”
“A bit of fun at Twilight Sparkle's expense. Trixie enjoyed seeing her flustered. Almost as much as Trixie enjoyed having the newest alicorn princess between Trixie's...”
“I... uh... enjoyed that as well.”
Trixie looked at him with hooded eyes. “Yes. Trixie knows.”
Flash crossed the room and joined her on the bed. “Did I happen to tell you last night how hot it is that you talk like that?”
Trixie scooted close and ran a hoof down his spine. “You might have mentioned it. How long until you have to leave?”
“This afternoon. Totally free until then.”
“Good.” Trixie kissed him and traced a circle on his forehead with her horn. “Are there any other fantasies the Great and Powerful Trixie can help you realize before you return to the frozen north?”
“Well, there is one.” He looked over at the clothes that had been thrown to the floor. “It's... kinda weird though.”
Trixie cocked her head. “Trixie is intrigued.”
Flash smirked and leaned in to lick her ear. “Put on your robe and wizard hat.”