//------------------------------// // The Departure // Story: A Beautiful Swallow // by Skijarama //------------------------------// Looking back at the pages I’ve already written, it occurs to me that a lot of the stuff that was important happened in the events I’ve already covered. There is still a ways to go, and a little less than five years to cover, but after this chapter, I am expecting things to speed up significantly. In the five or so days that followed, I did very little. I went to school, but it was all just one big blur. I didn’t know this yet, but my grades were seriously starting to decline. I spotted Swallow while at school, but I refused to go to her. I could barely look at her without feeling either angry with myself or sad because of the rejection. Either way, on the sixth day since she and I met in the town plaza, I received a letter. Nettle, It’s time. My parents and I have packed everything up. We’re moving to Canterlot tomorrow. We’re taking an early train, so if you want to say goodbye, you’ll need to skip class. I’m going to miss this town, but I’m sure it’ll all be fine. I’ll see you at the train station, okay? -Twinkling Swallow. My heart sank when I read that. I knew that it was going to be a very long time until I saw her face-to-face again after the next day. I needed to make the best of my last moments seeing Swallow with my own eyes. My only regret is that I could’ve done so much more. <^><^><^><^> I didn’t bother brushing my teeth after breakfast that morning. I didn’t bother fixing up my mane or anything. I was too distracted by what was coming, and wanted to get there as soon as possible. I made my way through the cold snow, wearing my favorite coat and boots. Some of the ponies at the train station gave me curious glances as I settled down off to the side. I began thinking about what I wanted to say. Nothing came to mind that sounded good. I knew there were only a few minutes until the train left, so it was just a matter of time until I spotted Swallow. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I saw her head in one of the windows. I stood and waved frantically. Luckily, she noticed. She smiled at me, and then turned to somepony next to her that I couldn’t fully see. The exchange went on for a few moments until she nodded at me, and disappeared from the window. A moment later, she stepped out of the train. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and made my approach. We came to a stop in front of each other. Swallow had a searching gaze about her. I lowered my eyes, feeling as though there might be something in them she wouldn’t like. As I stared at the wooden floor of the platform, I saw a white hoof reach out and lift my chin. I didn’t resist. Swallow was now smiling at me. A moment later, she was hugging me. It wasn’t a tight hug; it wasn’t needy or loving. It was comforting. I returned the hug. For several moments, Swallow and I sat there, just hugging each other. Swallow finally leaned back to look me in the eyes. “Are you going to be alright?” she asked softly. “I just need some time,” I replied. “What about you? Do you think Canterlot will make for a good home?” “I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out when I get there.” Silence prevailed for several moments. I wanted to say something, but the words didn’t come. Finally, I was able to mutter, “I’m sorry…” Swallow tilted her head at me. “Sorry for what?” she asked. “I’m sorry for… I don’t know. I just feel the need to apologize for something,” I replied quietly, looking down again. “Nettle, whatever you’re apologizing for, I can guarantee now, you don’t need to. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Swallow gave my shoulder a pat, and I looked back up at her. “All aboard!” Swallow looked back over her shoulder, then turned her gaze back to me. “I’m sorry, Nettle. I really, really am sorry. I have to go now… Goodbye.” She hugged me close for maybe a second, and then turned, galloping back for the train door. “Remember to write!” I called after her. She nodded over her shoulder at me before disappearing into the train. A moment later, the wheels began to turn. I slowly walked to the edge of the platform as the train began to pull away. I saw Swallow’s head in the window. She looked down at me, and gave me a smile. I smiled in return, and then it was over. Her head disappeared as the train sped away. Swallow was gone. <^><^><^><^> It was a week later when I received the first letter. I was sitting idly in my room, reading in a book I had borrowed from Waltz. It was a fairly interesting book, though nothing overly special. It was a story about an elder Dragon that waged war with Equestria. It was a very intense book. Anyways, I had just turned the page to begin the next chapter when a knocking came to my door. “Come in,” I called. The door opened, and I turned to see Noctis stepping in. “Hey, Nettle. A letter came in the mail for you,” Noctis said, sliding the envelope along the floor to me. “Thanks, Noctis,” I said, picking up the letter. Noctis nodded and backed out, closing the door behind him. I set the envelope on my desk, pulled it open, and took out the letter. It was from Swallow. Nettle, We’re all the way moved in. This house is huge! It’s much larger than my Ponyville home. There’s this huge room with a big fireplace for the living room, and no matter where in the house you are, you can feel it’s warmth. An enchantment on the stonework spreads the heat everywhere. It’s amazing. But it just doesn’t feel like home, yet. I met so many amazing ponies in Ponyville, and now I feel like a total outcast here. I’m going to start attending a new school in a few days, once I’ve got everything set up. It’s not just one room, though. This place is big. It has several teachers, several rooms, and multiple stories. It’s also got a much wider range of classes, too. From what I’ve heard, though, this school has a much higher standard of behavior. Anyways, how are you doing? Are you feeling better? I kind of want to apologize again for leaving you in the snow. It was cowardly, and not the right thing to do. I know you’ve said you’ve forgiven me, but it’s always harder than just saying it to actually forgive somepony. I’d write more, but I need to take care of getting set up for the new school. Write back soon, okay? -Twinkling Swallow I smiled softly. Well, it certainly seemed like things were going at least fairly well for her. It still left me feeling cold inside when I got to her apology. It also got me thinking; did I forgive her for that? She left me alone and crying in the cold snow, and offered very little comfort while it was happening. I lowered my gaze and decided I’d think about it later. With that decided, I drew out a sheet of parchment, and started on the reply. Swallow, I’m not entirely sure what I’m feeling about that incident. I mean, I still feel sad about it, but I won’t try to change your answer. I know I’m not going to get more by pushing for it. All that will do is distance us even more. As for forgiving you, we’ll see where that boat floats. But I don’t want to talk about that topic a whole lot. Let’s avoid it for now. Bad memories as I’m sure you can imagine. Anyways, tell me more about this school. I’m sure by the time you get this, you’ll have started your new classes, and I’m curious as to what you’re taking. -Stinging Nettle. I examined the letter for a moment before setting it off to the side. The mail had come and gone. I’d send it tomorrow. I was about to resume reading my book when I looked back to Swallow’s letter. Something then caught my eye. I had yet to throw away a single one of her letters. All of the ones I had received were currently resting on my desk. I ran my hoof slowly over the top of the pile. I glanced around my room, and spotted an empty lockbox not far off. I wasn’t really thinking when I did this, but I took the letters from Swallow, and gently set them into the wooden box. I had received this box on my birthday about two years ago. I had never really had much of a use for it before. Still, I looked at the box with a soft smile before closing the lid. <^><^><^><^> Weeks began to pass. Letters started flying back and forth between Swallow and I. Her school was strict but fun, according to her. She made a few new friends, but she said they weren’t as close to her as her Ponyville friends. There was a very high standard there that she had to deal with, even from other students. But above all, she and her family were doing well, which was good enough for me. Regardless, I never felt completely content. Every time I got a letter from Swallow, my heart sank at the memory of being turned down in that snowy plaza. I always closed her letters with a sigh, and hesitated before I finally got back on track and wrote my reply. Sometimes, I’d wake up and find my cheeks stained with tears. It was no secret to my family that I wasn’t doing great. I once heard Dad asking Mom if she knew why I was feeling bad. I remember halting as I descended the stairs to listen in. Mom had a good idea of what happened to me. The day I got shot down in the plaza still haunted my memory, and she knew it had something to do with that. I hid my sadness behind a mask, so to speak, but it was clear to everpony around me-my emotions were a mess. It was a Tuesday. The mail had come a bit earlier than normal. I picked through it with Noctis until we found our respective items. I went back upstairs with the Letter from Swallow, and started reading once I was secluded in my room. Nettle, I hope things are going well for you. They aren’t going perfectly for me at the moment. Some of the upper-class kids have seen fit to start harassing me. There isn’t a whole lot I can do about it, and they are really good at what they do. They aren’t as bad as Diamond Tiara, but still. It’s very frustrating, and they won’t leave me alone. I’ve tried reporting them to my teachers, but nothing has changed. I get the feeling that the ponies in charge don’t mind a ‘small fry’ like me getting stepped on. Aside from those two, I’m doing ok. My sister never got to meet you, I realized. She’s right next to me at the moment, and she just wants to say hi, as well as thank you for sticking up for me against Diamond Tiara. At any rate, is there anything new you want to tell me? -Twinkling Swallow I blinked. Swallow had a sister? Well, that was interesting. I didn’t let it distract me, though, as I started immediately on my reply. Swallow, Don’t worry too much about those bullies, okay? I mean, from the way you described them, I’m just going to assume that they are simply saying things to and about you. I’d just ignore them if I were you. If you don’t give them any sort of reaction, they’ll lose interest sooner or later, and you will be good to go. In other news, I never even knew you had a sister. Let her know I say hi in return, and that it was my pleasure to help you out. -Stinging Nettle I nodded at my writing before setting it off to the side to be mailed tomorrow. I took Swallow’s letter, and placed it inside of the box in which I’d been keeping them. I had developed a small stack by now, maybe twelve pages. I glanced up as there was a knock on my door. “Come in,” I said, closing the box. Dad stepped in, looking at me with a concerned expression. “Hey, Nettle,” he greeted, stepping in fully and closing the door behind him. I smiled in greeting. “Hello. What do you need?” I asked, stepping up to him. “I just need to ask you if you’re doing alright,” he said. “I’m fine, why?” I asked, not wanting to worry him. I figured it was a bit late for that, but still, I just wanted to alleviate some of his concerns. “Well, your mother brought this up, and mentioned that she talked to you about a crush you were having. Any truth to that?” he asked, and I looked down. “Well, yeah… But that’s all it was. It was just a crush, nothing more,” I lied, trying to get him to change the topic. I really did not want to discuss this at the moment. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I knew there would be no such luck. “Nettle, don't lie to me, please. I know you're emotionally in pain. It's clear as day. All I want to know is what's causing the pain,” Dad pressed, and I shrunk away a bit. “I just...” I hesitated. I could feel my chest starting to tremble. “I just didn't want to be alone...” “Son?” Dad asked quietly. I was trembling all over, now. I tried helplessly to choke down my initial sob. Dad slowly approached, and pulled me into a hug. “You aren't alone,” he said quietly. “And yet I've never felt more alone in my whole life,” I replied, burying my tearing eyes into his shoulder. “I watch you and Mom... I see young couples out there with each other, hugging, kissing, enjoying each other’s company… and all the while, I am left alone. Why? Why do I have to be alone?!” I shouted the last part before breaking down completely. Dad held me close the entire time. I found myself sitting there for a long time, just crying my eyes out. “Nettle, while it's good to try these things while young, you still have a lot of life ahead of you. One failed attempt isn't going to be the end of your world. You'll find somepony else, I'm sure,” Dad assured, patting my back. “I'm not so sure of that,” I said, struggling to keep my voice coherent. I didn't speak any further, though. We simply sat there for a long while before Dad slowly started to let go. I glanced up at him, and he smiled down at me. “Well, I am. And believe me when I say it won't always work out the way you want it to. You’re going to get a few broken hearts here and there. But never let that stop you. You'll find that happiness you crave. That, I can promise you.” He ruffled my mane for a second before backing off. “Think about that for a while, okay?” “I will,” I answered weakly. Dad smiled, before stepping out, closing the door behind him. <^><^><^><^> And so I thought about it. It made a lot of sense. I was still young, and would thus have a lot of chances to find the one meant for me. But something about that line of thought just didn’t feel right. It was as if the mere idea was wrong. I chose to ignore that feeling, however. I wouldn’t go hunting for anypony since I’d seen how badly that could go. In this case, if I found them, I’d let them come to me. If they chose not to, I’d move on. But despite that resolution, I still didn’t feel right. I assumed at the time that it was a result of me not knowing where to start, and it was that in part. But there was a lot more to it that I was oblivious to. It was similar to looking into a really deep pit. You can see some of it, but the stable surface at the bottom is invisible. I watched through the windows as the days passed. The snow had melted, and winter wrapped up. Spring had struck which meant I was a season closer to summer vacation. Swallow’s reply never showed up that week. I just assumed then that she was too busy to write to me yet. The following day things would start to happen that when I look back on I am not too proud of. It was a Friday, and school was just starting. There were rumors going around about a new student, but I hadn’t seen them yet. I was curious, but all in all wasn’t as interested as others. I glanced up as the door opened. Miss Cherilee stepped in, followed by a dark blue, though not as dark as Waltz, pegasus filly, with a messy, unkempt red mane and tail. She was about my age. She glanced about the room shyly, and stood at the front with Cherilee. “Good morning, class! Today, I want to introduce our newest student. She is here from Cloudsdale, so give her a warm welcome,” Cherilee announced, resulting in some nods and greetings from the crowd. “Go on and introduce yourself.” The young pony stepped forward once, and cleared her throat. “Um... Hi,” Her voice was quiet, and reserved, and had a certain edge to it that I’d heard before. It was that edge of depression Swallow expressed after Longbows death. The pony hesitated before saying, “I’m Starless Night.”