Chapter 97
Canterlot castle
"No! I will not allow this!" Celestia yelled, actually becoming angry for once.
Annabel chuckled, "Celestia, I can handle him. Just let me..."
"I said no!" She said, putting her hoof down.
Annabel smiled and crossed her arms, "You know Celestia, maybe it never crossed your mind that the poor guy was lonely. Perhaps all he needs is to get laid to be a little less... Overbearing if you will. I could fix that, and the pleasure will be all mine. Literally. Nothing a mare's touch can't fix, right? You know this first hand with Vinetion. Don't act so surprised, the whole palace knows about it. No shame in that. Most actually saw it coming"
Celestia bit her lip, "But..."
"Listen, Celestia, I'm the same creature as he is. That means, he'll be all over me."
Celestia rubbed her face, "Okay... I'll let you do this. But if he gets out of control, he's going to the moon!"
Annabel laughed and bowed, "Don't worry Cel, I'll keep him under control."
"You better." Frederic said from the doorway, his arms crossed.
Annabel smirked, "You know me Fred, I can keep a man in check."
He chuckled, "True."
Celestia sighed, "Go get two bronies to fight in front of the statue. That should get him out in a few seconds."
Annabel smirked, "Easy."
Ponyville, town square
"Next up, Shadow Breeze!" Spike announced.
"Yay!" Fluttershy whisper yelled.
I chuckled, lets see what he's got planned.
Shadow walked out from behind the curtains, a nervous look on his face. He walked to the center of the stage and grabbed the mic. He gulped and looked around.
I sighed, "We're waiting."
He gulped began to breath heavily.
"You can do it!" Fluttershy yelled, yet again scaring the crap out of me.
Shadow smiled and stomped his hoof.
Behind him, the curtains opened to reveal a large stereo system... where did that come from?
He gulped and hit his hoof again. The stereo began to let out a peaceful instrumental.
I've heard this song before.
Shadow closed his eyes and began to sing, "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure."
When he was pointing at Fluttershy almost the whole time, but once he finished that part, he opened his eyes and looked directly at her.
"Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing."
He was now smiling awkwardly, looking like he was about to pass out.
"Lying close to you feeling your heart beating." He then put his left hoof over his heart.
"And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever."
He then looked back at Fluttershy, trying his best to stay up right.
"Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing."
He wiped his hoof across his face, removing sweat before continuing.
"I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time."
He began to force a confident smile on his face as he retained his eye contact with Fluttershy.
"Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing.
Don't want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing."
The music kept going but he was standing there, wobbling side to side.
When it ended, he gave a small bow.
*Thud*
Correct that, he fell face first onto the hard wood of the stage.
"Three! I am unimpressed!"
"Sex... Oops, I mean six!"
"TEN! NOW SOMEPONY HELP HIM!" Fluttershy yelled with great volume.
My ears... I think they're bleeding.
[Only a bit.]
Seth walked out onto stage and picked him up on his back.
"Yeah! Use those muscles!" A mare screamed from the stands.
I turned to look for the mare... Really? Just really? Berry Punch?
I chuckled and turned back, "So, who won?"
"Alexander!"
"Seth."
"SHADOW!"
We all three looked at each other.
"..."
"..."
"..."
[Let me handle this!]
{Oh Break no!}
"Listen you two! Seth won!"
Trixie jumped into my/Break's face, "NO! Alexander won!"
Fluttershy grabbed the table and threw it upward... where it soon came down on the stage, "SHADOW WON!"
Whoa... who knew she had it in her?
"You crazy bitches! Seth won, no more discussion!"
"Alexander won! He was the best one up there!"
"SHADOW! IF YOU TWO DON'T AGREE WITH ME RIGHT THIS MINUTE! I WILL SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE AND TOLERATE!" Fluttershy yelled, her eyes very close to the stare.
"But..."
She flew up and grabbed my collar, "SAY HE WON!"
I smirked... fuck you Break, "Seth won."
*Sounds of boards breaking*
"SAY HE WON!"
I began to try and pull my head out of the judges platform... yeah, she just slammed me head first into the freaking platform.... MY HEAD!!!
I pulled it out and gripped my head, "Oh God! Why Shy, why?! I thought you were the nice one!"
"PICK SHADOW!"
"Seth." NOOOOOOOO! BREAK WHY?!
*POW*
Wow... she can be Flutterbitch when she wants to be... is my nose broken?
<Almost...>
I was now on my back, seeing stars.
Trixie lifted her nose, "Trixie is staying with her choice."
Fluttershy growled.
"Wait! Fluttershy!" Oh yay, I can control my actions again.
She looked down at me angrily, "WHAT?!"
I gulped, "Uhhh, its pretty much your choice now... I mean, this contest is for who dates you... just choose the one you want... DON'T HURT ME?!" I yelled as she began to lean down to me.
"Oh, I'm sorry for hurting you Lance. So sorry." She said in a motherly tone.
Bi-polar? "Uhhh, its okay?"
She jumped up and flew towards the stage.
"Yeah, just leave me here, I'm fine!" I said sarcastically
Trixie leaned down and smirked, "Oh? Is the ape hurt?"
I growled and stood up, painfully I might add, "Let me guess. The Great and Powerful whore likes my friend Alexander."
She glared, "Shut up! Trixie cares not for your taunts!"
"What? Me taunting you? Psst, bitch please. I don't taunt, I rage!"
"STOP FIGHTING YOU TWO!" Fluttershy yelled as she flew towards us.
What's with her today?
[Must be on her period.]
<Can ponies even have a period?>
[... I don't know...]
I looked at her, "Okay, I'll stop. Just make her."
Trixie tilted her head upward, "Trixie will stop... for now."
I'll kill her, I swear, I'll do it!
[No you won't Lance, we both know you don't have it in you to even kill a dog!]
{I know... but I can entertain the thought at least.}
Trixie jumped off the platform and walked towards the back of the stage.
I looked at Fluttershy and cocked my head, "Uhh.. Fluttershy? Why are you carrying Shadow on your back?"
She looked back and blushed, "I... ummm... chose him..."
I smiled, "Well, I wish you two good luck.... just don't freak out if he passes out again when you tell him you chose him."
She smiled back, "Don't worry, I think he can handle the news."
I chuckled, "Good luck."
As she flew off, I jumped off the stage and made my way backstage.
{So, who won? By score I mean.}
<Ummm, I think it was Alexander... I think.>
Meh, doesn't matter... what was the purpose of this contest anyways?
[Hey look, Alexander is talking to Trixie. This should be good!]
I looked around till I saw them. They were off to the side, talking to each other. I knew she liked him!
Alexander said something and chuckled. Trixie smiled slyly and jumped on him.
[OH GOD! THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPY!]
<Abandon ship! Abandon ship!>
{WHAT SHIP?! THIS IS SO... meh. I saw it coming.}
Trixie was on top of Alexander, smirking. She then leaned down and began to kiss him... scratch that, she began to full on make out with him!
Okay, just back away before anypony notices you.
"Lance!"
FUCK! I turned to see Peter, "Oh, what's up Peter?"
He smiled and tossed me a envelope, "You are invited to my birthday party!"
I chuckled, "Birthday party? Aren't we all a little to old for..."
"Rarity's idea."
"Ah, I see. Well, when is it?"
He smiled, "Tomorrow! The info is in envelope."
I nodded and put it in my pocket, "So hows life?"
He smiled happily, "Its awesome! My depression has finally went away, thanks to Rarity and Nathan."
My eyes widened, "Nathan?! You mean Omnius?"
He nodded happily, "Yep! He came back a while ago, he's been staying with me and Rarity."
Well I'll be damned. He came back! Hell yeah... and he forgot to come see me... meh.
"So, how long is he staying this time?"
Peter shrugged, "I have no idea."
"Well, its great that he's here. I can't wait to see him again."
Peter turned, "Come to the party, he'll be there."
"Will do Peter!" I yelled before turning.
Time to rage at Trixie, why? Because I can! That's why! "Hey bitch!"
She jumped off Alexander and went on the offensive, "What do you want?!"
I crossed my arms and smirked, "So, I was right. You like my friend."
She pointed a hoof at me, "Trixie does not care for you! You can go buck your tramp of a wife!"
Mental snap, "You stupid bitch! I'm going to...."
Scene change
"... fucking rip off your horn and shove it up your fucking ass and make you eat your own..." My eyes widened, I was in the Royal Garden... in front of Annabel, Frederic, and Nova... who teleported me?!
Frederic's mouth hung open.
Nova looked between us, "What does he mean by ripping off a horn and shoving it up a fuck ass?"
Frederic quickly covered her mouth and picked her up, "Uhhh, nothing..." He then glared at me, "Pay back later!" He then began to back track to the Palace.
I smiled awkwardly, "Sorry about that. But you caught me when I was yelling at somepony."
Annabel flew over to me and gave me a large hug, "Lance! It's been too long!"
I raised an eyebrow, "It's only been... what a week?"
She dropped me to my feet and shrugged, "Doesn't matter, still too long."
I looked around, "So... why am I here?"
She snapped her fingers, causing a bright light to flash behind us.
"What the fuck?! I was just about to fuck my Pie!" Somepony who could only be Greg said from behind me.
I turned and sighed, "Yo."
He looked at me and chuckled, "Yo."
Annabel clapped her hands together to get our attention, "Okay, the reason I brought you two here is: It's time to release chaos!"
Greg laughed, "I like this plan already!"
She pointed at us, "Now, I want you two to fight in front of the statue of Discord!"
I sighed, "Really? What will we fight about?"
Greg ran past me and to the statue, "Hey Lance! Twilight is a bitch!"
Annabel clapped her hands, "Excellent!"
I sighed, "Greg, come on, don't go that low."
He smirked, "Man, when I was fucking Twilight, she was screaming like the bitch she is."
"THAT'S IT!" I screamed as I jumped on him.
Annabel laughed, "Keep it up!"
"I over used her though." He said with a grin.
"Asshole!" I yelled as I began to hit him.
*POW*
I fell off him as he levitated a board in front of him, "Lets do this!"
"LETS!" I yelled as I jumped on him again. This time, he hit me in the side with the board.
I grabbed him in a headlock, "Give up!"
"Nah." He gasped out.
"YES! He's almost out!" Annabel cheered.
"Come on Lance! You can do better than this!" Greg laughed.
*Crack*
"What was that?" I said, letting my grip on Greg lighten.
"Oh shit... here he comes!" Greg said, jumping off me.
I sat up and looked up at the cracking statue... might want to back up.
I jumped to my feet and backtracked a few yards.
[This is gonna be bad ass!]
After a few minutes of waiting, nothing happened.
"Must need more violence." Greg stupidly said.
Suddenly, Annabel flew towards us and slammed her fist into Greg's snout. As he went flying back, she looked at me.
"Whoa! Annabel, what the fuck?" I said holding my hands up.
She smiled, "Sorry Lance, but I really want him!"
*POW*
I was knocked to the ground by a solid punch to the face.... OUCH!
*CRACK* *Thud*
I lazily lifted my head to see the stone falling off of Discord... I hope Annabel knows what she's doing.
"Ahh, free at last!" Discord said in a cheerful tone.
He looked around and saw Annabel, "Ah, another Draconequus, how interesting." He then shifted his gaze over to me, "And what do we have here? Are you one of the bronies I've been hearing so much about?"
I give a small nod, "Yeah..."
He smiled, "You sure are a strange creature."
Annabel waved at him, "Uhh, hello! Another Draconequus over here!"
Discord looked at her, "And what would your name be?"
Annabel smiled, "Anarchy."
Oh, so she's going to use that name.... meh.
Discord tapped his chin, "Anarchy? Say, can you live up to that name?"
She smirked, "Already did."
He raised and eyebrow and flew around her, "Oh? Show me."
She smiled and snapped her fingers. Suddenly, a small TV appeared in her out stretched hand.
How does she do it?
She turned it on and smiled, "This is my massive prank on the bronies. I sent them to Manehattan as mare's to get raped."
After a few seconds of watching, Discord began to laugh, "That was a hilarious prank, I'll give you that!"
Annabel smiled proudly, "Thank you Discord."
He bowed and stood straight up, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think some chaos is long over due."
Annabel held up her hand, "Hold on there big boy, I had to make a deal with Celestia to let you out of that stone."
He looked at her unhappily, "What kind of deal?"
Annabel crossed her arms, "That I would keep you out of trouble and in line when it comes to chaos."
He smirked, "Oh? What's the punishment, being turned to stone?" He then began to laugh.
"Banishment to the moon." Annabel said smugly.
He instantly stopped laughing, "The moon? She has never threatened me with that before... well drat! What can I do?!"
Annabel smirked, "You can hang with me and pull some pranks. Hows that sound?"
He smirked, "Sounds marvelous!"
Annabel flew forward and began to curl around him till her head was in front of his, and the rest of her body was wrapped around his, "We can also have other kinds of fun. Hows that sound?"
He raised a brow while still smiling, "I have never been with another Draconequus before, mostly because I'm one of the only ones. I'm interested in seeing how this plays out."
Annabel giggled.
I'm scared....
"Well, my friend Frederic gave me a room in the palace with a extra extra large bed. Wanna go check it out?" She said lustfully.
Did I mention I'm scared shitless right now? Because I am!
Discord grinned, "Lead the way madam."
That's it, I'm out of here!
I jumped up and twisted around... only to trip over Greg.
"Greg!" I said standing up.
He jumped up, "I'm going to follow them."
I looked at him strangely, "Why?"
"Free porn. Besides, I got to see how those things fuck!"
[Typical Greg.]
"Uhh, good luck with that." I said backing away.
<Where to now Lance?>
{First, I'm going to that nice little store I went to a while back, the one owned by the nice old stallion.}
[Why?]
{Simple, I have to get Peter a present. I do have an extra hundred bits after all. Next stop will by my house, I should really tell Twilight and the kids where I've been.}
<Yeah, we need to do that. We kinda just left before anyone else woke up.>
[No, Dali was awake, remember? She was looking at a picture of Drax.]
<Oh yeah.>
I walked out of the palace's gates and looked around.
Let's get this shopping over with, I want to show Spark something.
And I'm ending it right here for the night. Tomorrow, I will write one of the most fucked up chapters I'll ever write. As requested by all of you XD