Chapter 22: There Are No Good Puns for Corn
"Okay, Corn, that's all I needed you for. You can go and lie down now." Fluttershy said as she relinquished him of her saddlebags.
Relieved of his burden, the German Shepherd shook himself off and made his way to the yellow pegasus's cottage. He walked with a prominent limp in his front left leg.
At the side of the door to the cottage was a dirty, burnt yellow shirt. This shirt had been on Corn when he had arrived with Applejack a few weeks prior. Before, it had been soaked in the dog's blood from a wound Corn had received. Since he had been at Fluttershy's cottage he had made a wonderful recover; minus his limp, of course. After he had recovered somewhat, Fluttershy allowed him to help her carry her saddlebags while she fed the animals.
As soon as the dog reached his shirt, Corn sniffed it once before baring his teeth and letting out a low growl. Fluttershy had been keeping close watch on him. "What's the matter?" Corn started barking at his shirt, making the timid pegasus shrink back.
From within the folds of the shirt, a pure white head stuck out and glared up at the snarling mutt.
"Angel Bunny! Why do you keep teasing him?" Fluttershy made her way between the two. "This is Corn's, so could you please let him have it... i... if you don't mind?" Ever since the large dog had arrived, Fluttershy had her hooves full trying to feed all of the animals, take care of the sick ones, watch after the wounded dog, and dealing with her pet's rising jealousy of the cottage's newest tenant.
Angel stood up, crossed his front paws, and shook his head.
"Angel... if you do, I'll... I'll give you a carrot."
Angel turned around and ignored her offer.
"Oh... how about... two... carrots?"
Angel continued to refuse her offer.
"Th... three carrots?"
Angel didn't respond.
"If... if you give Corn his shirt back, I... I'll let you have all the carrots, but only if you-" Hearing that, Angel was finally convinced. Hopping off the shirt, Angel turned and kicked the filthy thing towards Fluttershy. "Th... thank you, Angel. Now why don't you go and-"
Angel didn't wait for his caregiver to finish as he ran inside; intent on raiding the pantry of its carrots.
Fluttershy sighed before she bent her head down and flattened the burnt yellow shirt across the ground. "I'm sorry, Corn, he's not usually this grumpy." Corn walked forward and began to viciously lick her on the face. "Ahh, Corn, don't do that. Your breath smells."
Corn relented. He then sniffed his bed a few times before turning in place and lying down.
"A... are you feeling alright?" Corn let out a huff. "You miss your master, don't you?"
Corn let out a whimper of acknowledgement.
Fluttershy took a moment to think. "Do you think you could manage walking to see him?"
Corn stood up with his front paws on the ground.
"I... if you want, I could show you the way to him. He's only a short... walk away."
Corn got up on all fours and began to lick her across the face once more.
"Okay is... is that a yes?"
Corn stopped licking the timid mare and barked out loud once.
"Oh, okay. If you let me just put my saddlebags inside we can go... Okay?"
Corn gave her one more wet, slobbery lick before allowing her to go inside her cottage.
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"Okay, Corn, we're here. We just turn in here and-"
Corn suddenly stopped; his ears flicking around.
"What's the matter?"
"Wrr, wrr."
"You can hear your master?"
"*Whine*" Corn turned onto the path leading towards the farmhouse.
Fluttershy had to use her wings to keep up. "What's the matter, Corn?"
Corn didn't look back as he made his way towards the farmhouse. His bad leg was the only thing keeping him from running.
"Corn, slow down. I can hardly keep... up." Fluttershy stopped dead at the sight before her. From where she stood, Fluttershy could clearly make out the mint green Lyra. What made her stop, however, was what Lyra was looking at. It looked like a big, hairless gorilla. Seeing this large beast caused Fluttershy to shiver. "C... C... Corn... I think we should-"
In an instant, the hairless gorilla ran off into the apple orchard. Corn chased after as fast as he could.
Fluttershy flew off after them all. "Corn, don't follow-" She was cut off when the dog started barking. "That's your...? Oh no, Corn, don't hurt Lyra, they're just-"
Corn was in no state of mind no state of mind to listen to her pleas. He continued to barrel after the light grey talking horse that dared to try and hurt his boy. At least to him they were all some shade of grey, but he could be wrong. About a minute into their trek, the pain in Corn's leg was too much as he slowed down to a light trot.
"I'M GOING TO HUG YOU, HUMAN. YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY FROM LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!!!"
"What the hell-"
Corn stopped when he saw his boy trip and fall.
"AH HA, NOW I'VE GOT YOU!!!" The light grey talking horse fell back to pounce.
Bryce turned around just in time to see it pounce on him. "No, no, no, no, no, noooo!"
Corn had had enough of this. He began to run again, intent on ending the life of the light grey horse.
In an effort to warn Lyra, Fluttershy cried out, "Lyra, get off of him. RIGHT NOW!!!"
Lyra turned around at mention of her name. "Wha... Fluttershy?" When she caught sight of the mare sized dog running towards her she froze up like a deer caught in the headlight.
Without warning, the human pushed her off of him. He then positioned himself in front of her. "CORN, STOP!"
From what Lyra could see past the human, the dog was still coming towards them.
"CORN, STOP!!"
The dog just kept coming. When it was only a few feet away it jumped up into the air.
Acting fast, the human took a knee and grabbed the dog in his arms before slamming it to the ground. He put his weight on the mongrel. "CORN, CORN!!!" The dog had its head turned towards Lyra. All of its teeth were revealed to her. The human put his hand over the dog's mouth. He jerked its head towards his own. "CORN, LOOK AT ME!!!"
The dog continued to protest.
Through gritted teeth, the human said, "Corn... look... at... me.
Somehow the dog seemed to calm down as if understanding the human.
"Corn... Just look at me."
The dog calmed down even more.
The human spoke in a more gentle tone, "Corn... You know me... You know me." When the dog had calmed down enough, the human said, "Now I know how this looks, boy, but don't hurt her. She wasn't trying to hurt me." The human turned towards Lyra. "Were you?"
Lyra was able to collect herself enough to shake her head no.
The human stared back into Corn's eyes. "See... Now I'm going... to let you go. When I do... you get up... walk to the farmhouse... and wait for me there... Okay?" Corn only stared back. "Okay." The human released his hold on Corn and dismounted him.
When Corn got onto his paws, he looked directly at Lyra. Oh no, he's gonna get me... He's going to gnaw my face off and... chew my bones and... and... Corn snorted before he turned around and made his way to the farmhouse. Lyra released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.
"Are you okay?"
"Huh, wha...?"
The human asked again, "Are 'you' okay?!"
"Uh, yeah, yeah. I'm... you're a human."
"Yeah, and you're a talking horse thing."
"You... saved me."
"He thought you were hurting me. He came close to chewing your face off and gnawing your bones, but you're safe now." The human stuck his hand out to her. Not a hoof, a hand. Out to her. "Come on, let me help you up."
Lyra placed her hoof into his hand. When she was on her hooves, Lyra grabbed one of his monsterous, five-digited hands. "You have... fingers... and hands."
"Yeah, and you have hooves, and no fingers."
Lyra looked down at his feet. "And... and toes and feet... and only two legs." She had tears of joy in her eyes.
"Yeah, and you have four legs, and hoo-
Lyra once again reached out and hugged Bryce tightly around the waist. "I knew humans existed. I... I never stopped believing in you."
It took all of Bryce's willpower not to shake her off. She came close to getting killed, just let her have her moment, Bryce.
After a minute a soft voice said, "Um... are, are you alright, Lyra?"
Bryce turned around to look at the voice, since it seemed Lyra was too caught up in him to answer it. Before him was a pale yellow pegasus with a pink mane and a pair of beautiful, blue eyes. "Wh... who are you?"
The pegasus crawled back at his words. "I, I, I'm Flutter..."
"I didn't, I didn't hear you."
"I'm Fluttershy."
"Did you say Fluttersh-" Bryce knew where he had heard that name before, and most especially in what context. "Fluttershy...?" He stared at her, open mouthed.
"Uh, uh huh."
Bryce forced Lyra off of him and stumbled towards Fluttershy. "You... you..."
Fluttershy froze up in fear.
"You..." Bryce bent down and picked her up from under her front legs. She brought her forehooves to her face. "You took care of Corn."
The frightened mare peeked out from behind her hooves. "I did-"
Bryce brought her to his chest and firmly embraced her in his arms, causing Fluttershy to yell out in fright. "You took care of Corn. Thank you, thank you so much!"
Fluttershy was too frightened to give a reply. That and her lungs felt like they were being smushed together.
"Is there anything I can do to repay you?"
Fluttershy strained to get out, "Please don't break me in half."
"It's a deal." Bryce loosened his grip. Fluttershy fell back in his arms, gasping for air. "Oh, sorry. I'm just... so excited to have Corn back. Are you going to live?"
Between her wheezings, Fluttershy said, "I'm... fine. I... *cough*... I'll live."
"Do you want me to put you down?"
"Please do."
Bryce slowly placed her down on the ground. "Again, I'm sorry. He's... my best friend." She didn't respond. He turned back to Lyra. "Is she going to be okay?"
"She'll be fine. Fluttershy is skiddish about most things."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Once she's recovered I'm sure she'll be fine. I should be thanking you though. You saved me from... Corn was it?"
"Yeah, it's a long story."
"Oh, do tell!"
"Short version: His name's Cornelius, no one can spell it right, we call him Corn. End of story. So... what's your thing with me anyway?"
Lyra blushed from embarrassment. "I like humans."
Bryce smirked. "I'm flattered, but I don't go for horses."
"What? No, not 'like' like that. I'm just very interested in-"
From far away, everypony and Bryce heard somepony say, "Lyra, what's going on?" It was Rarity. The white mare trotted towards them. "What's going on here? And why is Fluttershy... Fluttershy!!! What happened?
Bryce spoke up, "I... almost crushed her to death."
Rarity bent down and started faning the comatose pegasus. She glared at Bryce. "Why on Equus would you do that, Bryce?"
"I wasn't trying to, I was... happy."
"Happy about what?"
"She brought my dog, Corn, over. I was happy to see him."
Lyra added, "And he almost killed me too, but Bryce saved me."
"My goodness, is your dog safe?"
"He is, he was only trying to protect me. If I hadn't done what I did you would have something to be pissed off about."
Rarity looked away. "Well I wouldn't have put it that way, but it's good that nopony got hurt... more or less. Now could you help me get Fluttershy inside, after an ordeal like this it's best to not be out in the sun."
"Quite. Should I carry her or should one of you do it with your magic?"
"I think it best I-"
"I want him to do it."
"What?" Rarity bent down to Fluttershy. "Are you sure you want that, he did almost 'crush' you." The yellow pegasus nodded. "But why would you-" Fluttershy pushed herself up and whispered into Rarity's ear. Pulling back, Rarity said, "Well if you insist. I don't understand it, but I'll go along with it. Bryce, she wants you to carry her."
"What, why?"
"She's insisting that you do it." She began to walk towards the farmhouse, "Now come along, while the day is young." Lyra followed after Rarity. Bryce held the rear with Fluttershy in tow.
"You know, you're skinny; but you're lighter than you look."
Fluttershy blushed. "Th... thank you."
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Rarity, Fluttershy, and Lyra had already returned to their respective homes; the last given specific instructions not to say anything to anypony about the days events. Bryce was playing with the fillies while Corn had opted out to recover from his excursions from that day.
Around five in the afternoon, Ditzy arrived back at the farm. Dinky was the first to take notice of her arrival. "Hey, mama!"
Ditzy waved at her daughter, nearly colliding with an apple tree in the process. After she landed she walked over to the group. "Hey, Dinky. Where's Amethyst?"
Bryce said, "She wasn't feeling well and went home."
"Oh, well I hope she's okay." As Ditzy approached her youngest daughter, she smelt something foul permeate from her, and from both Bryce and Apple Bloom. "Are you all okay? You all smell like, well, poo."
"Bryce let us help him clean out the chicken poops, mama. It was fun, and we got to play with Bryce afterwards too."
"Well when we get home I'm going to start dinner while you go and take a bath." She then turned to Bryce. "Was she much trouble?"
Bryce shook his head. "No, she was fun to have around."
"That's good. Come on, Dinky, let's get home before it gets dark. Hop on my back."
Dinky did so. After waving their goodbyes for the day, Ditzy flew off for home. When they arrived, Ditzy called out, "Amethyst, we're home."
"Oh... hey. Is Dinky safe?"
"Yeah, I'm safe, sis."
Ditzy dropped her daughter off her back. "Are you feeling any better?"
"What do you mean?"
"Bryce said you weren't feeling very well, so you came home."
"Oh, yeah. I'm feeling... I'm feeling much better." Amethyst forced a smile.
Ditzy smiled back. Turning to Dinky, she said, "Now go on and get your bath, Dinky. We're having your favorite tonight, so you better hurry. Amethyst, will you go help her clean out her fur?"
Dinky ran into the bathroom, Amethyst following close behind her. When they both entered, Dinky struggled to get into the tub. Eventually Amethyst helped her in and turned on the taps. "So, how did everything go after I left?"
"It was fun. Bryce is a good pony."
"Oh... did anything bad happen?"
"Yeah, Miss Lyra came and chased after Bryce," Dinky regaled," Then Miss Fluttershy came with a big dog and they chased after Lyra and Bryce. Then Miss Rarity came and chased after everypony. Then everypony came back and we had lunch. Then Miss Lyra, Miss Rarity, and Miss Fluttershy left. But I asked why Fluttershy left that dog behind. Bryce said it was his dog, and that his name was Corn. Corn was too tired to play and he slept while we cleaned the chicken poops. Then Bryce found a rotten egg and broke it open. It smelled bad and Corn came over and rolled around in it. Then, we all played together until mama showed up."
By then the tub was full enough to bathe the unicorn filly. "Well that explains the smell. Did Bryce do anything funny?"
"What, like say a funny joke?"
"... Yeah."
"No, not really. It was funny how Bryce got angry at his dog for getting in that smelly egg."
"At least you stayed out of it; we'd have to bathe you in tomato juice just to get that funk out of your fur." Amethyst sighed as she rubbed shampoo into her sister's mane, taking care to keep it out of her eyes. "Dinky... about what I said to you this morning..."
"About mama?"
Amethyst slowly nodded. "I'm sorry about saying that, I shouldn't have said all that to you."
"Why'd you say all those mean things, Amy? They hurt my feelings."
"I know... I can't explain it, but you didn't deserve that." Amethyst rinsed the shampoo out of Dinky's mane. "Now I know I've said this before, but I'm gonna say it again. Dinky, I love you, now and always."
"I love you too, sis."
Amethyst smiled.
"Amy, does daddy love us?"
"Uhh, why do you ask?"
"Bryce told me daddy is off trying to find work so he can sue... soup... soupert us, and that he's lost and trying to find his way back, and that we shouldn't go look for him because then we'd get lost too."
"He said all that?" Amethyst asked ask she rubbed a bar of soap into Dinky's fur. "Well, in a sense he's right." At least I hope he is.
"But does he love us?"
"Sure, he still loves us." Though after everything Bryce said... I really don't know. "Okay, Dinky, let's get you all rinsed-" Amethyst shielded herself as Dinky started slinging water in an effort to rinse the soap off. "Ahh, Dinky!"
Dinky could only laugh as she played in the water.
"Ugh, what are we going to do with you?" Amethyst kissed her sister on the forehead. "Now let's get you out and dry you off." Amethyst used her magic to levitate a towel onto the floor, then to levitate Dinky onto the towel.
As she was being dried, Dinky asked, "Hey, sis, you know how you look at colts sometimes, and look away when they see you looking at them?"
"Uh huh, why? Did you see somepony else doing that?"
"I saw Miss Fluttershy doing that."
"Oh really, who was she staring at?" Amethyst inquired.
"Bryce."
"Wait, are you saying Fluttershy was staring at Bryce?"
"It looked like she was."
Amethyst laughed to herself. "It means Fluttershy likes him, but don't go around blabbing that now. It's best if Bryce takes notice first."
"Oh. Am I dry yet?"
"Almost... there, now let's go eat before it gets cold." They both exited the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen.
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Meanwhile, Bryce was in the front yard of Sweet Apple Acres, vigorously rubbing tomatoes into Corn's fur. Corn was not happy about it. "Hey, don't yell at me. I told you to stay out of that rotten egg. You can either sit still, or you can sleep out in the yard." Corn took the hint and sat still. "Smell like a damn septic tank, you know that?" He kissed his dog on the forehead. Bryce smacked his lips together. "Hmm, tastes like Campbell's. Missed you, Corn," he said before dumping another can of tomatoes on Corn's head.
"So, what do you think of that Fuuttershy?" Corn barked a few times. "Yeah, she seems nice. A little shy, and frail, and pretty... Did you see the way she kept staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking?" Corn stared at Bryce. "I don't understand it either. Now get out of this wash tub and we'll get you rinsed."