Her voice, so gentle and pure, singing that soft lullaby I heard so long ago. I watch the shadows grow on the wall as the Celestias sun drops below the horizon and think back to the first time I heard her sing.
Flight camp, not my favorite place in the world that’s for sure. I was always more earth pony than Pegasi my father always said. Heh, I was more likely to be found exploring about on the ground than in the skies above. It was the first week after that rainbow filly’s amazing race when I heard “her” sing. It wasn’t anything special to the other fillies around but that voice and that song. It made my heart swell and tears leaked from my eyes. Naturally I was bullied about this and I started hating that filly who sang so well. So I did what most colts my age would do, I started making fun of her. I never forgot the look of pain and sadness in her eyes, not once since then.
After returning home from flight school I went back into my normal routine. Spend the mornings in class and my afternoons exploring the ground. More than once I stumbled upon that filly, either in the sky or on the ground. I ignored her every time and eventually I stopped seeing her all together. I didn't really care why and the thought never crossed my mind, till I was older anyways. It wasn’t too long after that I got my cutie mark. I was ecstatic, a half drawn map with a travelers stick across it. From that moment I knew what I was meant to do, I was a wanderer, an explorer, an adventurer. Taking the unknown locations of the world and revealing their wonders to the world.
The first horseshoe dropped less than a month later; Mother got diagnosed with some disease which even now I can’t pronounce. They gave her less than two years, I wasn’t about to leave with her sick but the road constantly called me. She helped me a lot though; we spent an hour sometimes more almost every day pouring over maps and half-forgotten journals from the library. I like to think it helped her as well; she managed to make it almost four years before she passed away. The last few months as she lay in that hospital were heartbreaking; my mother the mare who was so strong looked like an empty shell of her former self. The last words she said to me got me through so many hardships, “Stay strong, let the wind take you were it will and remember, no matter what happens I’ll always be with you.”
Before I knew it I was ready to hit the road, my father, sad to see me go gave me his blessing and a look of confusion when I told him it was a long walk to vanhoover. “Why not fly?” He asked. “Think of all cool things I could fly over and never know about.” I shouted back as I dipped below the clouds. That was the last time I saw my father, and now I don’t think I ever will again. How I would love to tell him of the adventures I had, but I know my mom was always watching and when he gets to the other side we will tell him.
I will tell him of my first night in vanhoover, tired and dusty from the road, stumbling across a group of ponies who took me to their apartment to join their party. To the next day getting chased out the door by the same ponies that had no recollection of who I was. Or how a few months later I had an audience with both Princesses about the maps I had finished and sent onto the royal library. Within a year I had become an official member of the royal court. Not that I ever used my status, well except to get a room or food from time to time. Like I mentioned before I was more earth pony than pegasi, I loved working for ponies for a place to stay or a hot meal. You got to meet so many new ponies that way and hear so many stories.
It was my position that also led to a moment that struck a chord deep within my heart. It was not long after the crystal empire returned that I got a summons from the Princess, upon arrival she requested that I travel there and send back any details that I could. I wasn’t very happy about this as I had just spent months travelling in the middle of nowhere and was planning on a little break in appleloosa. Although on the train there, which by the way I loathed, to fast, miss too much, I realized no pony had seen this place for over a thousand years. So much to learn, so many unexplored places, I was ecstatic. So you can only imagine my slight disappointment when I got off the train and saw other ponies getting ready to board. However there was one silver lining to that dark cloud, I saw her again; it was a glimpse as I was gathering my things. The ponies boarded the train and I caught her out of the corner of my eye. I couldn’t believe it, after all these years I finally see her again but I didn’t have a chance to say how sorry I was for how I acted as a child.
Downtrodden I continued on my assignment but found little joy in my work. My mind constantly drifted back to her, how beautiful she was, the flow of her mane, the sparkle of her eyes, and from deep in my memory came the tune of a lullaby sang long ago. The other horseshoe finally dropped just before I was due to return to Canterlot. I woke up the one morning and didn’t feel really well, I’ve been sick before, but it was as if somepony had taken all my energy away. When midday came around and I still hadn’t left my room I was found by a maid at the palace, within minutes I was transported to the hospital than back to Canterlot. The crystal empires hospitals weren’t quite up to date yet but I sort of wish I could’ve had their diagnostic rather than the one I received in Canterlot. It seems the disease my mother had was hereditary, why the doctors didn’t check me when she was diagnosed was a mystery to them but it didn’t change the fact that I had it now. They gave me a year.
At that moment I made a decision, to hell with working for the Princess, to hell with the disease and I’m sure I said a few other things I shall not repeat here. I decided I was going to find that mare and apologize for what I did. Despite the doctors protests I was out the doors within a day. I wasn’t going to wait around for more tests just to die in the long run anyways. Off I went on my journey to find this mare, if only I had told others of my quest. She was so close but yet I went so far. I travelled to the farthest settlements of pony kind and even other cities and towns where ponies live. I couldn’t find her anywhere.
It wasn’t until I stopped in a small place near the outskirts of Equestrias borders that I saw her. Well to be more specific a photo of her. On a magazine on a shelf that looked like it had been forgotten for ages. Thankfully the owner of that shelf and the magazine on it tried to be connected to all things “hip and popular” as she put it. Ponyville was my destination and I was going to make it there no matter what. My illness started to fully take effect by the time I had reached Cloudsdale, flying was near impossible and moving took a lot of effort. I didn’t even stop to see if my father was still in the old house, I had a mission and I was going to complete it. You know, I never even thought what I would have done if she hadn’t been in Ponyville anymore, if she had moved on, probably searched until I died.
I made it into Ponyville late one evening even though I got up so early that morning, the constant need to stop and rest had slowed me down considerably. The town wasn’t quiet though, it seems there was some sort of gathering or festival going on. Before I got past the first row of houses another pony greeted me, she was so alive and full of energy. She noticed how tired I was and suggested I come relax and have a cupcake. That was the last thing on my mind, I asked her as polite and as strong as I could if she knew the mare I was looking for. Before I had even finished my description she was calling out to a group of ponies sitting around a table just on the edge of the festivities. As the ponies turned and looked towards us I saw her, sitting there with her friends a look of confusion on her face. Despite the stares I was getting I started walking towards her, I didn’t care about anything else, I had to tell her.
I hadn’t even reached the table when my step began to falter; the pink pony who I had met was at my side in an instant. She helped me walk the rest of the way to the table and said something to the all the ponies there. She could have been answering a question or telling them something, I’m not sure nor do I really care, I only had eyes for her. “I’m sorry,” I say although it’s barely louder than a whisper. She stares at me confused so I continued my voice gaining what little strength it could as I talked.
“I’m sorry Fluttershy; I’m Sorry for making fun of you in flight school.” Her eyes widened slightly at this only growing bigger as I continued. “You sang so beautifully, it brought me to tears, those bullies back then made fun of me for it. And I made fun of you because I was a stupid, stupid child who cared more about what others thought than the beauty I enjoyed. I can’t ask you to forgive me for the things I said so long ago but I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry.”
I’m not quite sure what happened after that, the last thing I remembered was the ground rushing up towards me and the sounds of mares gasping and somepony screaming. Now I’m sitting in this hospital bed well she sings, She notice I was awake and quickly stopped singing.
“You’re awake now.” She says her voice soft and gentle. “Yeah,” I respond not liking how weak my voice sounds. “What happened? The last thing I remember is the apologizing and then darkness”
“You, um, you passed out, the doctors say you are really weak and shouldn’t have been moving around like you were.” “I had to,” I cut in. “I may not have much time left and I wanted to find you and tell you how sorry I am.” She opens her mouth to speak but I cut her off. “You don’t understand, ever since that day, that lullaby you sang has stuck with me. Your voice was as soft as the kiss of a cool breeze on a summer’s night and no pony could do better than you. I felt so ashamed about what I had done I avoided you. But the guilt stuck with me no matter where I ran to or how much older I got. I tried burying it deep down inside and focusing on my work but then that day in the crystal empire, I saw you again. It was only for a moment but it all came flooding back. I decided than that if I ever got the chance again I would take it and talk to you. Once I found out I had this disease I decided finding you was more important, and well here I am. I’m Sorry.”
Her face was hard to read and when she spoke it was hard to hear. “You came all this way, knowing you might not make it, just to apologize to me for something that happened when we were young? Why would you do that, kids bully each other all the time and they don’t travel all over Equestria trying to say their sorry. Why would you do this? especially cause you’re sick?”
“How did you know I travelled all over Equestria?” I asked to which I was given a quick response consisting of friends with Celestia type thing. “And as to why I came, well when somepony has made such a huge impact on your life that you never forget how they look, or the melody of their voice. And you have wronged them; you do whatever it takes to make it right.”
She sat there for a good 5 minutes saying nothing till she raised her head and looked straight into my eyes. “Your apology is accepted, but only on the condition that as soon as you are better you join me for tea. "Gladly.” I say, even though I can fell the chill creeping into my bones. “Can I ask one thing please Fluttershy? Can you sing that lullaby for me one last time?”
With a slight nod of her head she started singing, if only I hadn’t been so mean, maybe I could have gotten to known her better, but I can feel the darkness closing in. Stray tears run down Fluttershys face, she knows this is the end as well but her song doesn’t stop.
Even as he closed his eyes, a single tear tracing its way towards the pillow, he smiled. And Fluttershy sang her lullaby until the light faded away.