//------------------------------//
// Loops 71 
// Story: MLP Time Loops 
// by Saphroneth 
//------------------------------//

71.1 (Dungeons and Dungeon Loot)

(Crisis)

"Where did you get a poultice of clouds?" Twilight asked Rainbow Dash curiously as the pegasus used the magical vaporous substance on her wounds.

"Same place I got this sweet 'glorious knife of the guardian'," Dash told her, indicating the weapon strapped to her side.

"And that would be...?"

"This Loop has some weird loot," Dash told her, grinning. "I kinda wanna see what you get."





Twilight put on the lost pair of glasses of smoke and squinted. "I think this actually makes my vision worse. No wonder they're lost, no one would want to find them."

At least the shocking grenade of control looked pretty cool.





(Crisis)

Discord flitted around the hidden treasure, looking for something interesting when he spotted the perfect item for him.

"An amulet of warp science? Ooooo..." After all, one could never have enough chaos.

"And an ornamental crate of banished beans!" Or just plain silly things.





(novusordomundi)

Apple Bloom was busy looking at something she had came across this trip: Lexzabarmoth, the Legendary Banished Broken Wand of Protection, muttering to herself as she started going through her space-time pocket to she if she had the proper components.

"Bet's on the number of loops it takes to fix it?" Scootaloo asked her friends

"I'm betting four."

"Looks pretty magical. Five"

"Two. Doesn't look that complicated."





(Crisis)

Gilda read the title of the book she'd just looted. "'Learning How to Be a Barbarian?' I've seen the local barbarians. That's like making a book that teaches you how to be illiterate."





Celestia envied her sister who was currently modelling her new chainmail of darkness. All she'd managed to get was this lousy malachite of day...





"Draught of inhale fire?" Spike raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that a little redundant for me?"

"Whoops!" Twilight snatched the item back and gave him a different parcel. "Sorry, I meant to give you this ornamental garb of the paladin..."





(Zap Rowsdower)


A manual on “How to become a barbarian”


"Step 1. Hit yourself on the forehead with this book. Step 2. If this sentence seems coherent, repeat Step 1 as necessary."





(misterq)

Pinkie Pie donned her new legendary artifact, Donoator, the Legendary Confusing Finely-crafted Boots of Laughter.

Then she waited a moment to see what would happen. Then a few more moments passed."

Then, Pinkie lost her patience, "Nothing is happening! These are just a set of nice boots, but where is the laughter? Are these made just for me? I don't get it!"

And as Pinkie examined her new apparel in utter confusion, the boots were working perfectly.





Sweetie Bell reddened as she read through her new scroll, titled "Songs of the Lusty Warlock and the Useless Wheel of Cheese".

Then she set the thing on fire with a look of disgust.

"No. Just... just no," she said as she stumbled towards Mac's bar and hopefully something that could erase the last few minutes from her brain.





(Crisis)

Applejack grumbled as she swung her enchanted Light-banishing Nunchaku of Truth. Sure, it was great how they dispelled illusions on contact and such, but the light-banishing aspect got kind of annoying after a while.





Rarity carefully stowed the Poultice of Controlled Lava in her bag. It would be useful if Spike ever got injured she supposed.





(Indalecio)

Berry took a sip of the liquid in the legendary bottle labeled Ladmilvol, the Legendary Ruined Wet Bottle of Spirit. A mixture of emotions crossed her face.

Twilight, with a clipboard and quill stood nearby. "So. How was it?"

"I don't know!"





(masterofgames)

More and more of the odd loot turned up in increasingly unexpected places. Some interesting, some useful, and some just odd.





Pinkie hopped down the trail to Fluttershy's backyard, a pair of shimmering boots atop her head. "Hey Fluttershy! Look what I found! Can I get a second opinion on them?"

Fluttershy looked up from her chickens. "Um... well, I'm not sure silver is your color, but, you know... if you like them..."

Pinkie shook her head. "Not like that silly, just put them on, and tell me what you hear."

Fluttershy timidly slipped the boots on, gasping softly as they shifted into green slippers with yellow and pink butterflies on them. "W-well they certainly are impressive Pinkie, but why would I hear anything from..." she perked her ears. "Wait... Now that you mention it... I do hear something!"

Pinkie grinned. "I thought so! I thought I did too, but I couldn't make it out exactly. What do you hear?!"

Fluttershy concentrated. "It sounds like... a lot of ponies saying the same thing, very far away... Pinkie, what does 'Mai wai fu' mean?"

[The boots of dimensional seduction]





Twilight paused as she passed her bed, stepping back and lifting the cover a bit to look under it. On the floor, just barely sticking out, was a book she had never seen before. Smiling, she picked it up, and took it downstairs to read.

Spike looked up from sweeping as she passed him, getting a look at the title. "'It's Time to Learn About the Lemur'. Huh. What's a lemur?" he asked, puzzled.

"I have no idea!" Twilight squeed.





Discord was napping in a tree. Someone apparently took this as an insult, as without warning, a golden two foot long rod with Twilight's head on it fell out of a higher up branch and bonked him on the head. "Argh! What the... It wasn't me! I'm reformed!" he insisted, glancing about rapidly, before discovering he was alone. Looking down, he picked up the rod from where it had fallen.

"That's odd... I could have sworn I had gotten rid of this thing. Where did it come from?" he pondered, scratching his head.

[a puzzling scepter of knowledge]





Rarity looked around for any sign of the one who had left the two books and the scroll on her worktable. "Sweetie Belle? Were you the one who brought these?"

She got no answer. It seemed Sweetie Belle was out with her friends.

Rarity simply shrugged to herself. "Hmm, maybe it was Twilight. She did promise to send over any spell-books she found that seemed a good fit for me. Let's see here... "Agate Miracle"? Thoughtful, but I have enough divine intervention in my life." she grinned as she placed the book aside. "What else is here... "Citrine Hail". Ugh, I may get around to it eventually, but I have no intention of getting back into weather management again. What's this last one?" she asked herself, placing the scroll aside as well. "Hmm, "Sapphire Shot"... Well... I suppose it's worth a look." she shrugged, pulling a sheet of diamond from her pocket to use as a target and flipping open the book. "... Doesn't seem TOO difficult... Okay, let's try this!" she grinned, powering up her horn and casting.

The result was not quite what she expected. Instead of a flying gemstone, a small glass of blue liquid appeared in front of her.

"Sapphire... shot." she groaned, facehoofing. "Well, at least Spike should appreciate it."





(Crisis)

[A magic book containing "Vomit Technology"]

"I don't feel good..." Applebloom moaned.

"I can't imagine why," deadpanned Silver Spoon. "I mean, you've only barfed up five cellular phones, three cybernetic prostheses, six toasters of various configurations and manner of matching the definition, one death ray like you'd find on top of a mad scientist's secret mountain base, two hovercraft, a mind-linked suit of mobile infantry armor suitable for your brother, an interstellar tank, a solar collection array that's built for orbit, and four space shuttles complete with booster rockets."





(Masterweaver)

"I found out who's responsible for the random loot!"

The gathered ponies (and associated entities) had turned their heads when Pinkie kicked down the door. Now she was dragging a long-eared colt into the dragon, despite the way he beat his butterfly wings at her. "Hey, what is this? What are you--?" He tried to jab his horn at her, only for his captor to dodge easily.

"You really are impressive," Pinkie continued. "Hiding from me for half this loop? Me, of all ponies? That takes super duper talent. But now it's time.... FOR YOUR PARTY!"

A banner unfurled from the ceiling, the words Welcome To Equestria written in large, bold letters. The young fluttercorn blinked, staring at the banner. "Wait. What?"

"This is a sanctuary loop," Twilight explained. "You're allowed to relax here, do whatever you want so long as you don't, you know, do anything that permanently hurts somepony. Looping or not." She rolled her eyes as the party pony slipped into the kitchen. "Pinkie feels it's her duty to make guests feel extra welcome, so avoiding her this long... well, she has this strange angryhappy state where she tries to compensate for the happiness she thinks should have happened and...."

"Hrm." The young fluttercorn crossed his hooves. "I suppose that makes sense... in a way..."

"So... what's your home loop like?"

"Don't have one."

There was a collective gasp from the gathered ponies (and associated entities). Fluttershy stood up. "No home loop? Why that's... that's terrible!"

"Not... really." The colt shrugged. "I mean, yeah, sometimes it can get lonely, especially since most Stockers don't get noticed--"

"Stockers?"

"That's what I call us anyway. You know, Picori, Money Spiders, Dungeon Keepers..." He waggled a hoof. "Here I'm known as Roguelike, King of the Breezies. It's a weird quirk, most of the time I loop in I'm in charge of setting up things for the adventurers to find. I think it was my job back wherever I came from and I do like it, but... well, after a few subjective millennia, you get bored of mithril swords."

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. "Hence the burning quiver of the dart of slime."

"Mmmyep, you got it. So, yeah, I got bored. Um... you all don't mind if I keep doing this, do you?"

"Not at all." Twilight grinned. "I'm just happy to have an explanation. Oh, but you really do need to stay for Pinkie's party, she... she gets pretty obsessive if ponies don't, you know, have a party."

"Right, I suppose I could do that."





(masterofgames)

Twilight floated yet another book over to her from the pile Spike had been making. The tomes had been showing up everywhere, and while Twilight was far from unhappy, they were making a mess of her shelving system. "Let's see... 'The Sap and its' Secrets'. Botany tips?" she asked herself as she flipped it open. "Ugh, nope, just tips on how to write romance novels." she groaned, floating it over to the instructional bookcase. "Let's see, what else is here... 'Ravage Time'? 'What They Don't Tell You About the Belt'?" she muttered, checking them. A moment later, her face was bright red. Making sure Spike was occupied, she floated them upstairs. 'Later." she promised herself.





Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo dusted each other off and straightened their pith helmets, grinning like madmares at the large stone door before them. "Oh yeah! Let's crack this baby open!" "I know! It's been ages since my last treasure hunt! I forgot how good actually finding the loot felt! Care to do the honors, squirt?" Scootaloo pulled out a seismic charge and grinned. "Don't mind if I do!"





To say Twilight was a bit livid would be like saying the sun was 'a bit' tepid this time of year. "Did the two of you SLEEP through my lecture on historical site preservation?!"

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo grinned and answered at the same time. "Like a foal!"

"Ugh, just... just tell me what was inside."

Scootaloo bounced up and down. "Oh man, it was so cool! There were flying spears, and pit traps, and alligators on pendulums, and we were all like-!" Rainbow Dash muffled her with her wing. "What she means is, we found the Arcane-Infused Helm of Space Emitting!"

THAT got Twilight's attention. "Wait, really?! What did it look like?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "No idea. It was kind of hard to see, what with all the space it was emitting and everything." Twilight facehoofed. She really had walked right into that one. "-but we did bag it and escape, so let's all take a look right now."

Scootaloo pulled out the bag and opened it, then stepped back to let Twilight levitate it out.

For a few moments, none of them spoke. Finally, Scoots tapped Twilight on the shoulder. "Hey Twilight, is that... you know?"

Twilight just groaned and sat down. "Yeah, it's Nightmare Moon's old helmet."

Luna poked her head out of the kitchen with a wild grin. "Dost thou speak truly? Huzzah! Twas wondering where it had vanished off to!"





(novusordomundi) (KrisOverstreet)

[Sapient headband of Guisarmes]

"Do you not know what I am, mere mortals?" a voice boomed to the pink pony that was currently handling it.

Pinkie twirled it around, admiring the different unique guisarmes on what was apparently a metal headband, fortunately missing everypony as she looked at it. "Your a headband full of sharp sticks! And you talk!"

"Foolish wench! I am a GOD compared to you. Scream Hosannas to the God of the Round! Show your new master the respect It deserves. Get on your knees and PRAY TO ME!"

Pinkie giggled at this sentient, apparently egotistical thing, as she opened her sub-space pocket to stuff "The God of the Round" into it.

"Don't you even think..." Was as far as it got before the pocket was resealed behind it, sealing it's fate.





About a week later there was a party. There were of course parties in the intervening time, Pinkie was forever Pinkie, but this particular party is the relevant one.

After everyone had sampled the punch and the cake, Pinkie removed the headband from her subspace pocket and fit it on her head. "Who's ready for a song?" she asked.

"MEEE!" the headband said, and began to sing:

Trottingham bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down...

Pinkie joined in:

Trottingham bridge is falling down, ... Trottingham bridge is falling down,

My Celestia. ... Falling down, falling down,

Build it back with mud and clay, ... Trottingham bridge is falling down,

Mud and clay, mud and clay, ... My Celestia.

Build it back with mud and clay, ... Build it back with mud and clay,

My Celestia. ... Mud and clay, mud and clay,

Mud and clay will wash away ... Build it back with mud and clay,

Wash away, wash away, ... My Celestia.

Mud and clay will wash away ... Mud and clay will wash away...

At this point Rainbow Dash removed the singing headband and stopped Pinkie. "What the larch kind of song is this?" she asked.

"INFIDEL!" the headband cried out. "'TIS A ROUND, OF COURSE!"

"To be specific," Pinkie Pie grinned, "it's a party canon!"





(Conceptulist)

In the coffer, you find...





[A bixbite of the colossus]

*???*

"Were's the rest of it?"

"Don't know. Want to go looking?"

"Yay! Cutie Mark Crusaders Loot Finders!"





[An ordinary cleaver of mending]

"Why. Won't. It. Cut. Anything! this makes no sense! its a cleaver, it should cut stuff!"

"'Twi, just move on. You've been trying to chop vegetables for hours."





[A spell book containing "Curse of the Wyvern"]

"Ooo! More books!"





[A changing shuriken of the minotaur]

"Since when is Iron Will a ninja?"

"I think he found a ninja's for dummies book."





[An eldritch cape of inhale time]

"Weeeee!"

"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious! Time flies when you're having fun, so making time fly is fun, so I'm having fun and eating up my free time at the same time!"

*....*

"Weeeee!"





[A ruined rake]

*smack*

"Ow! Tree dammit! the Great and Powerful Trixie does not deserve this humiliation!"

"I thought that rake gag only happened in cartoons...."





[Edanstar, the Legendary Tentacled Salve of Confetti]

"…............"

"What. The. Buck."

"I suggest that we never let Pinkie find this. If she does, she might try to use it. Most likely on us."

"Agreed. the last 5 minutes never happened and we never saw this Abomination."





(Conceptulist)

[A blinding greatclub of deceit]

"I don't get it. what does it do?"

"Ah don't really know DT... hey there's a switch on the side!"

*flash*

"Applebloom, what were we doing just now? And what is that you just dropped?

"Looks like it's one of the random dungeon loot thingys. There is a label on the side... apparently it's a blinding greatclub of deceit, whatever that is."

"I don't get it. what does it do?"





[A pair of gauntlets of the snake]

*grunt*

"Hyaaa!"

*punch-kick-punch*

*SMASH*

"Why is Iron Will tearing that building apart with martial arts?"

*Crash!*

"I found a pair of gauntlets of the snake. apparently they" *bash* "magically make the wearer good at" *thud* "snake style kung fu." *Aiaiaiaiaaaaa!* "However, since I couldn't wear them - they're" *shatter* "gauntlets, not horseshoes - I gave them to Iron Will."

"That's nice of you Rarity, but I was asking why he wa-"

"Iron Snake Fist: Horn of The Bull!"

*Crash!*

*BANG*

*Kabong!*

*SHATTER*

*rimroll*

"... asking why he tore apart a China shop."

"Simple Twilight. It was up for demolition and I said he could keep the gloves if tore it down for me."





[A blessed amethyst of the undertaker]

"Are you ready to lose?!"

*Snort-Huff* "Bring it, Bessie!"

"And the final match of the first annual Ponyville Non-Pony Wrestling Tournament is off to a great start!"

"Iron starts of with a left jab, now a righ- he faked out and went with the left again!"

"Griffin PAWNCH!"

*Slam!*

*gasp!*"the Grif has Iron on the ropes! The match looks like it's all over for Iron! This could possibly be the Grif's shortest match yet!"

"Iron Snake Fist: Horn of the Bull!"

*KABONG*

*thud*

"And it was! Just not in the way the Grif was expecting! Iron "Iron Undertaker" Will has just beaten crowd favorite Gilda "White Grif" Griffin in the shortest match of the entire tournament! The crowd's going wild! This Pinkie Pie, signing off. Good night Ponyville!"





[Okania, the Legendary Miniature Laughing Charm of Fauna]

"Come on! Please!"

"NO! Iron Will found it fair and square, it belongs to Iron Will!"

"Um... If you don't mind, my I have it? Pretty Please?"

"Yes, Iron Will does mind. No you can't have it."

"If she can't have it for a Pretty Please, can I have it for a Pretty Please with a Party on top?"

"NO! N. O. NO! Okania, the Miniature Laughing Charm of Fauna is a sacred Legendary artifact to Iron Will's species. To hand it over to a complete stranger after it was lost for centurys would be sacrilege."

"Really? Why is it so legendary?"

"Iron Will is glad you asked, yellow pony. You see, it all started when-"

"Pretty Please with a Sprinkle Party on top?!"

"NO!"





(novusordomundi)

"Insolent creature!" Nightmare Moon screamed, at Angel Bunny, sending another blast of darkness at the Awake pet.

Angel easily somersaulted over the attack, while unsheathing what looked to be a carrot. Well, Nightmare Moon could have been looking at the carrot, if it weren't for the fact that it was emitting an intense orange light on par with the sun itself. Nightmare Moon had no other choice but to shield her eyes, as Angel Bunny landed on both feet, holding the bright carrot by it's green top, as if he planned to fence with it.

And by all intents and purposes, he was.

"Why is Angel fighting Nightmare Moon with a carrot?"

"Oh, it's not just any carrot. It's Sinnornant, a bright masterwork carrot" Fluttershy explained, as the Mane Six watches as a horn-on-carrot fight was breaking out in the middle of Ponyville. "He's very proud of finding it."

"Not even on the top ten weirdest things we've found." Twilight sighed.

[Sinnornant, the Legendary Bright Masterwork Carrot]





[A spell book containing "Horse Converting"]

"We are burning this book..."

"But Twilight..."

"Burning!"





(novisordomundi)

[An atlas titled "The Bottle of Alcohol: a Handbook, Second Edition"]

"Ah! So THAT's where I need to go to find that vintage" Berry Punch said, marking something in the atlas, before stuffing it back into her subspace pocket.

"Hey, Mac, I'll be back soon. Just need to head up near the Crystal Empire for a couple of days."





[A volume titled "Whatever Happened to the Blind Vampire and the Mermaid, Third Edition"]

"They may have left seeking for treasure, but they came back with something infinitely more valuable... each other." Fluttershy closed the book in her lap, as Twilight wiped a tear from her eye.





(Detective Ethan Redfield)

Naruto channeled chakra into a new scroll he obtained on his last mission, 'A scroll containing werewolf invoking.'

His hands flashed through the summoning seals and shouted, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

A yellow furred wolf appeared in a cloud of smoke. The wolf's eyes landed on Naruto as she spoke with a familiar voice, "Naruto?! How did I get here?"

Naruto tilted his head in confusion, "Fluttershy?"





(Crisis)

Trixie and Gilda sorted through the treasure in the room.

"Poultice of confetti?" Trixie considered the medical shredded paper.

"Eh, we'll give it to Pinkie," Gilda shrugged as she held the bag open so Trixie could levitate it in.

"Skull of Dreams..." the unicorn grimaced at the oddly shimmering pony cranium. "Luna, definitely Luna."

"No argument here."

"A buckler of the barbarian."

"Dibs!" Gilda snapped up the small mildly-beaten shield and strapped it to her forelimb.

"A finely-crafted tankard."

"Berry Punch, no contest."

"A fractal codex of the stoat...?"

"That's a type of weasel," Gilda informed the unicorn as she accepted the tome. "Fluttershy'll probably like it."

"Healing bolas of bloodshed?" Trixie held the stones linked by rope and covered with runes reasonably far away from her. "How does that even work?"

"No idea," Gilda replied. "We should probably get Twilight to help test 'em out before we try anything with 'em."

"Yes, yes we should," Trixie agreed quickly before moving on to the next object. "An old pilot's toolkit."

"Those fillies would probably like it," Gilda shrugged and put the pouched belt in the bag with the rest.

"A prismatic crystal of charisma," Trixie gazed at the multi-colored light that shone from the object.

"Rarity, all the way," Gilda put it in the bag before her partner lost all sense of where she was.

"Right..." Trixie shook her head free of the half-formed trance and moved on. "A spellcaster's tome containing..." Trixie grinned suddenly and stuffed the tome into her cape.

"Dare I ask?" Gilda worried.

"Lava Shot," Trixie kept grinning as Gilda made plans to be somewhere else, like another country, for the next month. "Next is... an ornamental rhodochrosite of the gorilla?"

The two looked at each other for a moment before reaching an identical conclusion. "Discord."

"And now we have..." Trixie levitated a short baton-style object out next. It was flat-profiled and appeared to be a dense metal covered with leather that was encrusted with dark-green stones. Trixie gasped a bit as she identified it. "Ladlmogion, the Legendary Nephrite-encrusted Oscillating Sap of Light."

"Light, eh?" Gilda mused, impressed. "Ol' sun-butt might be a good fit then."

"Yes, yes indeed," Trixie agreed as it was placed carefully in the bag. She then moved on to something that looked like an arrow with a handle converted for melee use that was covered in dust and grime. "A dusty siangham of the zombie..."

"Ew."

"Yes," Trixie agreed as she chucked it into a forgotten corner of the room and picked up a golden and red-brown striated gem. "A holy tiger's-eye of energy."

"Spike," Gilda insisted as the gem floated into the bag of loot. "He'll either snack on it, which could prove interesting, or give it to his wife which is the only other reasonable option."

"Hmm...." Trixie examined a glass vial of... something. "A vial of space..."

"Twilight," Gilda nodded, accepting the object. "She's the only one who'd be able to make sense of it anyway."

"A potion of clouds?" Trixie puzzled over the next object. It indeed looked like someone had stuffed liquid cloud in a bottle.

"Let's give it to Dash and see what happens," Gilda smirked.

"A key..." Trixie trailed off as she examined the old-style metal key like she was expecting something more.

"Wait, that's it?" Gilda blinked.

"I guess so," Trixie shrugged as she dropped the object into the bag.

"I suppose we should give Applejack something from this trip..."

"And finally a magic book containing "Dinosaur Summoning"," Trixie declared before grinning at her partner.

"I think we've found our ride home," Gilda grinned back.









71.2 (Goldude)

To say that Gilda was at a loss would be an understatement. Her mouth was hung open, her brain felt numb, and she believed she might have even gone cross-eyed.

"Shoot me in the face!"

He was just... standing there pointing at his face. Doing nothing else.

"I noticed you haven't shot me in the face yet, so shoot me in the face!"

Gilda's brain couldn't quite process this turn of events. All other people were hostile, but... not this crazy lunatic.

"Face! Bullet! Lead! Into! Face!"

She didn't even know what to do with this person, what with his constant yelling of him wanting to be shot in the face.

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To shoot me in the face!"

The griffon-turned-human hadn't ever inflicted a single casualty in this loop, preferring to just simply knock people unconscious and tie them up somewhere where they wouldn't be annoying.

"Knock knock!"

She just stood and stared, uncomprehending.

"Knock knock!"

Because this guy was insane.

"Hey, I'm telling you a knock knock joke! Knock knock!"

Gilda snapped out of her mind-numbed trance. "Er, what? Oh... Er, Who's there?"

"Shoot me in the face, that's who!"

She just simply shook her head and sighed. "Why should I shoot you in the face?"

"Because shoot me in the damn face already!"

"That doesn't answer my question."

The lunatic jumped up and down angrily. "Who cares!? I'm here, you're here, you have a gun, I don't, so shoot me in the face!"

Gilda sighed. "You know what? You're a chlorophylling weirdo."

"YES, I am so annoying that you're pissed off enough to shoot me in the face!"

"I'm not going to shoot you in the face!"

"Hey. Hey! Wanna know a secret? I'm a level 1 MLE and I'm going to destroy this loop forever so shoot me in the face!"

"Wait, what? No, I refuse to believe that you're looping."

"If I ever make it to Equestria, I'm going to make sure it isn't a sanctuary loop! Doesn't that make you want to shoot me in the face COME ON SHOOT ME IN THE FACE ALREADY!"

"Tree damn it you're looping..." Gilda rubbed her forehead, trying to relieve the oncoming headache.

"SHOOT ME IN THE FAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"





71.3 (LordCirce)

Applejack walked out to start bucking the orchard. Unless she was showing off, she typically only bucked a row or two at a time.

She arrived at her first tree, turned, and kicked. *THUD, Thwip, poit, poit, poit, poit* Applejack frowned and turned. Sitting in the bottom of her basket were several apples, all of them cut perfectly in half.

"...the hay?"

Applejack pulled the basket to the next tree and kicked again. Once again, the odd whooshing noise sounded out, and when she turned, she found her basket was again full of cut fruit. Which was odd in and of itself, as "Pineapples don't grow on trees!"





"Woohoo, four fruit combo!"

Zecora smiled at Pinkie Pie from where they were hidden in the branches above the Unawake Applejack.

"This game is quite fun, to be sure, with my gift giving our targets variety." She gently tapped the branches around them, causing several apples to bloom into full growth. "Also, her harvest is kept secure, so our dear farmer only suffers from anxiety."

Below, Applejack tentatively poked at the large split watermelon that had just landed behind her.





71.4 (Masterweaver)

Apple Bloom barely flicked an ear as the front door suddenly burst open. "Forget somethen' AJ?"

"Oh, uh, Ah came back ta check on ya!" Applejack trotted in. "And... you seem to be doing alright."

"Mmmhmm. Chores done, checked and doubled." The filly smiled up at her older sister. "And pies undelivered."

"Uh..." The farmpony smiled awkwardly. "Ah, right. Wait. You've got no call ta be lecturing me about this!"

"Let's see, first there was Zecora," Apple Bloom mused. "Then Ah said Ah'd be willing ta help you with yer applebucking, but you went and did half the fields on yer own afor ya fell down in exhaustion. Oh, and thar was tha time where Ah told ya we didn't care what ribbons ya won, and then the whole Reunion--"

"Alright, alright, so Ah'm not perfect." Applejack snorted. "That still don't mean ya can spin round and play tha big sister here!"

"Yer right. Ah apologize, that was condescendin' of me. Oh, since yer back though, do ya mind if I get out tha big toolbox while yer gone?"

Applejack blinked. "Er.... What big toolbox?"

With a small smile, Apple Bloom tapped an unassuming knot on the wood floor. The paneling slid away, a metallic crate rising with a sudden burst of cold fog. "Oh, just mah thermonuclear energy generator toolbox."





71.5 (Gym Quirk)

"So...You've replaced Yoda?" mused Luke Skywalker.

"Mmm...Yes. A problem does that pose?" responded the lavender twi'lek with a more gravely voice than usual.

Luke winced. "Please don't do that."

The purple-and-green barabel smirked.

"I doubt it'll be an issue: I'm just trying to work out how having an extra jedi master around for the first Death Star changes things," continued the local jedi.

"I'm afraid that as plain jedi mastery goes, I'm not all that hot. It's been ages since I was slotted in as Obi-wan and even longer since my first visit as Qui-gon. Spike makes much more day-to-day use of the Force than I do. I'm more of a pure arcane specialist, and those abilities are usually tied to my native equine form," admitted Twilight in her normal voice.

They were seated in the common area of the Millennium Falcon; Apple Bloom and Chewbacca were aft tinkering with the engines and power systems with Sweetie Belle to facilitate communication and Scootaloo figuratively hovering to make sure they didn't start taking the ship apart in their enthusiasm.

Luke had determined that the best time for them to leave the planet would be in aproximately an hour, so they were taking this opportunity to make preparations and work on contingency plans.

"Look, Twilight. Why don't you take it easy for now? Luke and me can probably handle whatever comes up. You can lend a hoof if things get extra crazy," suggested Spike.

"We can discuss division of labor later, but getting back to plans for the Loop, Leia's a prisoner on the Death Star, and will be executed not long after the destruction of Alderaan unless someone intervenes. Family and friend issues aside, losing her will make things more difficult for the Alliance, and my experience says the even a veteran jedi coming out of hiding can't make up for that loss. You are the guests, and I'm willing to accommodate any reasonable suggestions, but for the sake of the smooth running of things, I feel that going with the baseline at least as far as rescuing Leia would be for the best," said Luke.

"I'm cool with that," replied Spike. "I'm pretty sure the girls will go with it too."

"Right. So this means that we need to be in the Alderaan system some time in the next..." Luke started to explain time constraints.





"I think that's all we kin do without a significant tear-down of the power distribution system," declared Apple Bloom.

{{Agreed,}} growled Chewbacca. {{Thanks for the help.}}

"So just what did you manage to do? I think I followed about half of what you were doing here," asked Scootaloo.

"In rough terms, two percent boost to sublight cruising speed and lateral maneuverability, three percent more shield power, and an optional ten percent boost to quad laser output. The trade-off is yer rotational trackin' drops off by about the same factor," explained the astromech.

"Chewie?" came Luke's voice from the intercom. "I think you and Scoots need to start power-up and pre-flight. Spike and I are getting some twinges."

"On it," replied the pilot. She and the wookiee made their way forward.

"Thanks for that Shyriiwook translation package, Sweetie," said Apple Bloom as they followed the others. "Are you okay? You haven't said much for the past few minutes."

"It's nothing...Kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess."

"Waddaya mean?"

"It's just...the three of us together...I'm a little worried about the looming tree--"

"Don't jinx it!" cried Bloom.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

The astromech took a moment to examine an exposed coolant line with a worried twitter.





"So much for my careful plotting of our lone star destroyer," said Luke, entering data into the navicomputer.

"Don't sweat it. Variant loops happen to everypony," responded Scootaloo. "Main power's on line. How's that departure clearance going, Twilight?"

A second Star Destroyer had arrived just as the smuggling pair got into their cockpit seats. A hasty departure checklist was now nearing completion.

"Getting the runaround as expected. I think they're about to seal the spaceport," said Twilight.

{{So we launch without clearance as usual,}} grunted Chewbacca.

"We've got activity outside the bay," called Spike via comlink. "I make it an augmented squad of stormtroopers." He was perched in the dorsal airlock as a lookout.

"Not a problem unless they brought an E-Web. Takeoff in twenty seconds. Get yourselves strapped in back there!" replied Scootaloo. She eyed the controls for the ground-defense auto-blaster anyway.

{{Engines are go,}} announced the wookiee.

"Then let's blow this sandbox. Punch it!"

The repulsorlifts floated the Falcon above the rim of the docking bay, then the main engines took over and the ship screamed for space...after a brief aerobatic indulgence.

Luke eyed the pilot with a stony gaze. Twlight's expression was less severe, but still fairly stern.

{{Were those three barrel rolls really necessary?}} asked Chewbacca.

"Heh. Sorry. Couldn't resist."

As thrilling skin-of-your-teeth escapes went, it was rather anticlimactic.

Their departure course brought them into extreme turbolaser range of the incoming Star Destroyer for about fifteen seconds, but other than that, it was an almost leisurely jaunt to the edge of Tatooine's gravity well. Having the proper hyperspace route entered -- From memory: Luke was very familiar with these calculations -- before takeoff was icing on the cake.

Why they faced no TIE fighters -- as in the baseline -- was a mystery.

Scootaloo's disappointment was palpable as she engaged the hyperdrive. "I know that advance planning makes for low-stress loops, but relaxing is one thing, dull is another."

"I suppose we could make this an entirely baseline run and then you could volunteer for Y-Wing duty at Yavin," suggested Luke. "Would that be sufficiently not-dull for you?"

"Ah...heh heh...I withdraw the comment."

{{We have about eight hours en route until we reach the Alderaan system,}} said Chewbacca.

"That being the case, I'm going to take a nap. Wake me in two hours," declared Twilight going aft to the bunk compartment.





"Hey, Scootaloo? Kin I use yer spare astromech fer somethin'?" asked Apple Bloom when Scootaloo entered the main compartment with Luke, Spike and Chewbacca in tow.

"But you are an astromech."

"Thing is, there's somethin' on my mind that I'd like to take care of."

"Okay fine."

One odd spacial distortion later, a second R2 unit was next to Apple Bloom. It was painted a familiar sky blue with a rainbow pattern applied to the panels on its dome. It twittered confusion at its surroundings with Apple Bloom beeping and crooning reassurances. The human and wookiee traded bemused looks. Spike looked on impassively.

"Does Rainbow Dash know about this droid?" asked Sweetie.

"I keep meaning to mention it, but it kinda slips my mind whenever we meet," admitted the pilot.

Apple Bloom had interfaced her scomp link with the other astromech and was now performing a data transfer. With a chirp of satisfaction, she completed the task and withdrew the computer probe arm. "There. R2-RD now has a another copy of the Death Star plans. Literally a load off my mind. Y'all want me to keep it, or do ya have room fer it now?"

"Might give it to Twilight to store with my X-Wing until we have a chance to transfer them both back to me."

{{As long as we're discussing hidden assets, there is a minor issue that has just occurred to me,}} started Chewbacca. {{Part of our standard Death Star infiltration pattern involves employing stormtrooper armor as disguises. Master Luke has a set that fits quite nicely, but it occurs to me that the young lady lacks any similar equipment, and her dimished stature -- no offense intended, I merely observe an inconvenient fact -- makes such a disguise problematical in any event.}}

"I think I have a holographic disguise unit that might work," suggested Spike. "I don't have much usable image data from this time period, so we'll need to someone do a complete visual scan of a set of stormtrooper armor to program the thing."

"Meanin' me," mumbled Apple Bloom.

"You weren't this grumpy about doing tech work when we were on the Enterprise," observed Sweetie.

"On the Enterprise, I had an entire engineering department to handle the borin' stuff."





"Look. I could just pull out OWL or one of my Hogwarts wands, but as long as I'm supposedly 'taking it easy', I might as well try some other magical implementations," said Twilight.

After her brief nap, she and Spike had gone to the aft cargo hold to perform some semi-private experimentation.

"Okay, fine. Just try not to do too much collateral damage while you work out how this is supposed to work. I'm already a bit on-edge with the Crusaders here," replied Spike.

Twilight produced a large wooden staff and shorter thick dowel from her subspace pocket. Both were intricately carved with an assortment of arcane sigils. Holding the staff in her left hand, she extended the dowell in her right and pointed it at an empty packing crate across the hold. Clearing her throat, she declared: "Ghor!"

The crate shattered.

"Wasn't that Klingon?" asked Spike.

"Would you prefer I said 'Forzare'? Anyway, it looks like the proof of concept worked." She tucked the blasting rod into her belt and leaned the staff against a bulkhead. "For more subtle magic, I'll use these." She fished in her subspace pocket for what appeared to be a pair of extra-long bamboo cooking chopsticks. "If memory serves, Harry explained that Molly prefers to use paired wands for her veils and illusion work. Let me know if you pick up any Force disturbances, okay?"

With a series of guttural mumbles and gestures with her wands, Twilight was suddenly three identical twi'leks. One walked to the remains of the crate and looked at the debris. Another went to lean against the bulkhead next to the staff. The third climbed on top of another crate and sat down.

"Pretty smooth, Twilight. Didn't pick up anything when you triggered the spell. However..." Spike took a small power cell from his belt and gently tossed it to an empty portion of the hold, where it thumped against a momentarily invisible form. The spell disrupted, the three illusory figures vanished. "I could still find you. Were you making any attempt at hiding your Force signature?"

"Not really. I'm still seeing how well this kind of magic works here. If there's time, I'll work on masking my Force presence."





They were all discussing increasingly outlandish plans for how to rescue Leia when Alderaan was destroyed.

All three jedi displayed varying degrees of distress. "I hate this part," muttered Luke. Twilight nodded agreement.

"Ooohhh. This really sucks. You have to go through this every loop?" asked Spike.

"Just about. There was one loop where Leia was able to get them to head for Dantooine, but that resulted in Vader killing her thirty seconds after they found out she was spinning a story. Not a good loop at all," said Luke with a haunted expression.

"Changing the subject," cut in Sweetie a tad over-enthusiastically. "You mentioned you were going over the Death Star plans to see if there were any other vulnerabilities, Apple Bloom?"

"I've got a few possibilities, but I suspect Artoo spotted them loops ago anyway. How much success has he had slicin' the Death Star's network to induce weapon system shutdowns, reactor overloads and so on?"

"Mixed bag. Reactor system firewall's usually solid as duracrete. Same with superlaser power and targeting. He's had some success with forcing the defensive turbolasers to go on local control, but since they're not good at anti-fighter work anyway, it's not that big an edge against what the Alliance can throw against it on short notice," replied Luke.

"What about navigation and propulsion?"

"Meh. About one time in six, he can cause a mis-jump or force a cold reboot of the hyperdrive. Nav data is stored in read-only form, so no easy way to send them wildly off-course."

"Okay, I'll look at the hyperdrive if time permits. Has he tried messin' with the internal logistics systems?"

"Not that I recall. I take it you have an idea?"

"Just the start of some notions. If I kin solidify the details, I think I may take a page from Pinkie's book, but that would require some magical assistance for the more...unconventional...items."

"Let me know what you come up with, Apple Bloom, and I'll see what I can do." said Twilight.

"How does laying a false trail with the homing beacon work out?" asked Sweetie.

"Not too badly. Going out to an uninhabited backwater and ditching the beacon buys us a few days before Tarkin gets restless and decides to attack another system. The problem is it's hard to predict what his next target will be, so destroying the thing is still an imperative."

"Wouldn't it be the same target each time?" asked Scootaloo.

"Butterfly effect," explained Twilight. "If you pull things far enough from the loop's baseline, random factors can take over."

"Is that what that means?" inquired Sweetie. "I thought it had something to do with Fluttershy."





"Reverting to normal space in thirty seconds. Shields up," announced Scootaloo.

{{Comm jamming suite on standby,}} added Chewbacca.

Luke and Twilight, seated in the communication and navigation seats behind the piloting duo, wore the abstracted expression common to jedi communing with the Force.

The hyperspace vortex surround the ship gave way to star lines and eventually the starfield as seen from the Alderaan system. As expected, no blue-green sphere was visible. A much smaller and distant disk could be made out roughly ahead. The ship was jolted by a glancing impact with a small boulder-sized planetary fragment.

"Lone TIE fighter aproaching from astern," said Twilight softly.

One abortive pursuit and tractor beam capture later, the Falcon was being pulled into a Death Star docking bay. Luke, Twilight, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shared a privacy-spell shielded smuggling compartment as the imperials conducted their preliminary inspection of the 'abandoned' freighter.

"Are you sure you can shield us from Vader's Force sense?" Scootaloo asked for the fifth time.

"You're sounding more and more like Han when he's feeling antsy," observed Luke.

"I wish I coulda rigged up that exterior audio-video surveilance system," lamented Apple Bloom.

The distinct tramp of armored boots on the deck plate above rang through the sound-suppressing magic.

"And...They're off the ship. Five to ten minutes before the scanning crew shows up," announced the future Jedi Grand Master as Scootaloo opened the compartment.

Luke poked his head out just in time to see the compartment where Spike had secreted himself open. The barabel jedi murmured, "I got a good sense of him. I'm pretty sure it was mutual."

"Well, that's that confrontation set up. You sure you're up for it?"

Spike nodded. "I have lots of ways to wrong-foot him long enough to cover our escape, and we've got you and Twilight up our sleeves in case I need an assist. Anyway, we should probably get to our positions for the next bit." The other passengers and crew were quietly emerging to take up their ambush stations for the next phase.

Seven minutes later, two techs laboriously set an equipment case down in the main compartment. Their surprise was considerable when they were suddenly confronted by a lavender twi'lek who pointed a carved rod in their direction and grunted, "yIQong!"

Their surprise instantly gave way to slumber.

Spike and Luke eased the two bodies to the deck with gentle applicatoins of the Force. Luke lifted one end of the case to a height of half a meter and let it drop to the deck with a thud. "Hey down there! Can you give us a hand with this?" he called.





Subduing the personnel in the hangar monitoring office was another anticlimax. Finding out-of-the-way locations to secrete two unconscious techs, four stormtroopers, and one watch officer was only slightly more difficult. Scootaloo switched off her armor holoprojector with a sigh of relief. "I don't care what you say, Apple Bloom. This thing itches like crazy."

Twilight, who had found several sets of uniforms in a closet and was checking them for size to replace her current ensemble, absently explained, "It's almost certainly a psychosomatic reaction. A simple holographic field shouldn't do anything to stimulate your peripheral nervous system."

"I don't care. I'm not using it longer than absolutely necessary."

Apple Bloom trundled over to the computer interface socket and plugged in. "Right...C'mon...Great. I'm in. No alarms raised. I'm gonna need a minute or two to get my bearin's."

"Why are you thinking about changing clothes?" Luke asked Twilight.

"I can't keep up my veil very well in close quarters like a turbolift, and an Imperial uniform, even if worn by a nonhuman, will blend in better in a crowd here than this red-and-brown getup. At least it may give us that half-second of confusion that makes the diference in a crisis." She took a final look at the uniform and shrugged. "Speaking of veils, back in a few minutes," she said with a wave of a wand and vanished.

"Anyone wonder why there're spare uniforms in a hangar office closet?" mused Sweetie.

Chewbacca pointed at a rumpled uniform jacket on the floor of the closet. A large caf stain was evident on the front. {{I'd guess that one or more of the watch officers has had a few too many accidents with beverages.}}





Apple Bloom would be the first to admit that she wasn't the best pure hacker among the Equestrian Loopers; that honor went to Pinkie Pie following her extended stint as "Radical Pinkie" aboard the Bebop.

That said, she was definitely in the top five; roughly the equal of Twilight or Luna. Her current form did provide a modest boost to her abilities, and she also had a little extra help along for the ride.

You sure you’re up for this, Cookie? I kin understand if yer still tryin’ to adapt to the strangeness, she asked her companion.

I have been witness to many of your exploits in this area. Although I lack your intuitive grasp of the finer details, I believe I can keep an eye out for trouble while your attention is otherwise occupied, responded Cookie.

Reassured, Apple Bloom slipped into the Death Star's network for a metaphorical quick reconnaissance followed by a set of surgical strikes.

A delicate probe confirmed Luke's report that the main hypermatter reactor and superlaser systems were locked down almost as tight as than the Yggdrasil admins read-only restrictions on Gallifreyan technology.

Turning her attention to the hyperdrive, she found a curious gap in the protocols surrounding system tests and emergency restart procedures. Looks like a candidate for option 5, suggested Cookie to Bloom's agreement.

After leaving a few time-release gifts, she went on to examine the systems governing the internal logistics that handled starfighter maintenance and supply. To her delight, they proved amenable to several of the ideas she’d brainstormed with the others.

A visit to the HoloNet comm system was also fruitful. Another gift was graciously left.

This exploration and low-level sabotage is all well and good, but don’t forget why we’re here, reminded Puddinghead's one-time secretary.

Oh yeah. Whups, responded a mildly chastened Apple Bloom.

Belatedly, she made a quick review of the detention records to confirm Leia’s location, and double-checked the tractor beam schematics.

“Looks like we’re good fer option Esk-7,” she announced to the other loopers. “Leia’s where she oughta be, and the tractor beam power regulators are as expected.” The relevant locations were brought to a display screen for Spike to study. “Twilight, if you could pay a visit to storage bay 4823 and make the substitutions we discussed? It ain’t too far from Detention block AA-23.” A second screen indicated the two locations separated by just two decks. "Lemme transfer the relevant info to yer datapad."

“Sounds good," said the twi'lek, now wearing Imperial officer's grays. She set the device to receive. "I think I’ll drop by on the way out,” she decided. “We ready?” she asked.

"Figger Cookie and me'll need about ten...fifteen minutes to finish reprogrammin' our little surprises. We'll let y'all know when we're done," said the astromech.

The others indicated that they were prepared for their own tasks.

“Then may the Force be with us,” said Luke.





The Princess Awoke in her cell and took a long moment to consider her Loop memories. This is definitely not where I usually start things.

Her musings were cut short by a commotion from outside. An almost animalistic roar punctuated by staccato reports of blaster fire, panicked yells, muffled explosions and...was that the low hum of lightsabers?

The noise faded after several intense seconds. She took a moment to sit up a little straighter on the ledge that served as the cell's bunk and twitched her white robe into some sort of order.

The door opened to reveal a lavender-hued twi'lek female in oversized Imperial officer's grays. She was incongruously carrying a carved two meter wooden staff in her left hand and a deactivated lightsaber in her right. There's something oddly familiar about that face, she thought.

An expression of startled recognition crossed the visitor's features. The twi'lek then said, hesitantly: "Sunshine, sunshine...Ladybugs awake..."

"Clap your hooves and do a little shake," responded Princess Cadance Organa with an almost hysterical giggle. After another long look, she asked, "Aren't you a little tall for a pony?"

"Har har har," replied Twilight flatly. "C'mon. Let's go find your 'brother'. And wait 'til you meet your prospective love interest..."