//------------------------------//
// Loops 70 
// Story: MLP Time Loops 
// by Saphroneth 
//------------------------------//

70.1





“...the night will last forever!” Nightmare Moon boomed, shaking the ground.

“Luna...” Twilight said, inflecting her voice to make it carry above the general panic. “Here.”

She threw a chocolate bar at the dark alicorn.

Nightmare Moon caught it, tore open the wrapping and ate it in a second. “Insignificant! This alone does not make up for a thousand years of missed tributes!”

“Well, don't just stand there,” Twilight added, looking at the startled ponies of Ponyville. “She wants tribute, now give it to her!”

Pinkie Pie grinned, and bounced into Sugarcube Corner. A torrent of sweets and chocolate began to pour from the upstairs window, making Nightmare Moon canter over and start stuffing her face.

After about a minute, there was an aprupt flash of light, and Luna stood there.

“Better?” Twilight asked.

“Better.” Luna nodded, and took wing.

“What the what?” Dash managed.

Twilight shrugged. “You're not you when you're... peckish.”

“Why did you pause?”

“Copyright issues.”





70.2

“Hello, dear,” Pearl called outside the Carousel Boutique. “Surprise!”

Several seconds passed, during which Sweetie moaned quietly about being left with her sister while her parents went off on holiday.

Then the door creaked open, and a bleary dragon looked out with sleep in his eyes and what was recognizably one of Rarity's dressing gowns wrapped imperfectly around his body.

“Who is it? Sorry, we had a late night...”

Magnum blinked. “Who the chaos are you?”

The dragon turned to look at him, though the slightly slit eyes didn't focus for at least another two seconds. “Spykoranuvellitar. You?”

“Who is it, dear?” Rarity's voice came from inside the building. She peered around him out the door, blinked, then jumped a yard into the air.

“Gah! Mom! Dad! Sorry about this-”

She vanished back inside, then her magic wrapped around Spykoranuvellitar and pulled him in with a yelp.

Sweetie had stopped grumbling, and joined her parents in staring as several loud thuds came drifting though the open door.

Then Rarity zipped back to the door. Her hair was washed and combed, she was wearing something nice, and there was a hint of perfume in the air.

“Sorry, mother, father,” she began. “I wasn't expecting you-”

“Who was that?” Magnum demanded, pointing past her. “That Spyko... whatever character?”

“Oh, right.” Rarity cocked her head slightly, letting a shining band of bluish light flash into clarity at the base of her horn. “That's my husband.”

Three unicorn jaws dropped.

“Your... what?” Pearl repeated.

“You got married?” Sweetie repeated.

Magnum seemed completely lost for words.

Then the dragon poked his own head around the door. “Sorry, Rares,” he said contritely. “Should have remembered this is your place. Oh, are these your parents?”

“They are.” Rarity stepped back, opening the door more fully – and allowing the light to shine on a near-matching band on the fourth claw of the dragon. “Mom, Dad, Sweetie... this is Spike. Spike, these are my parents and my little sister.”

“I'm still trying to wrap my head around husband,” Pearl said forlornly. “When did this happen?”

“Last month.” As Rarity spoke, Spike moved to stand proudly next to her. “We eloped.”

“Where to?” Magnum asked, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Well, right here. I have my own place, so it was sort of pre-eloped.” Rarity shrugged.

“That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?” Pearl asked severely. “You didn't even let us know!”

“You're right, and I am sorry,” Rarity admitted. “We were all rather caught up in the moment.” Spike squeezed her shoulder, and she shared a long look with him before turning back to her parents. “Sorry, where are my manners. Come in, come in. Will you be staying long?”

“Er...” Pearl blushed. “About that...”

“Am I still staying here for the next month?” Sweetie asked, curiously. “Is mister Spike in the spare room?”

“No, I have the same room as Rarity,” Spike clarified. “Nice to meet you, Sweetie Belle. Rarity's told me a lot about you.”

“She has?” Sweetie looked dubious.

“Yes. She said you have a lovely singing voice, and I like the sound of your cooking.”

The unicorn filly thought that over for a few seconds. “'kay.”

“I assume that I am to look after Sweetie for the foreseeable future?” Rarity asked her parents, receiving two embarrassed nods. “I could make a point here about pots and kettles, but I won't...”





70.3

“Right.” Gilda paced in a circle, her tail trailing on the floor and leaving a black line. “Twenty feet in diameter.”

Her prospective opponent inspected the circle, then nodded.

“We start six feet apart, with a three count.” As she spoke, she padded softly over to her starting position, and crouched down. “Three. Two. One. Go!”

There was a clash, and a flicker of orange.

“Not bad, bunny,” Gilda grinned. “Care to try seriously this time?”

Angel nodded absently, then launched himself forward with a carrot in each paw.





“Okay, that's pretty impressive,” Gilda admitted, panting. Her snow-white fur and feathers were speckled with blood as much as red tattoos, and the sparkling Thunder Edge on her back had left scorch marks all over the miniature arena.

The bits of it which weren't covered with hundreds upon hundreds of carrots, anyway.

“Seriously, where do they keep coming from?”

Angel shrugged. His ears drooped, a sign of fatigue, but nothing else about his easy stance suggested he was particularly tired.

“Right.” Gilda set her wings, and exhaled sharply. Her tail described a lazy circle in the air.

The carrot in Angel's paws expanded suddenly, until it was four times larger than he was.

Then he shifted his grip, and raised it before giving it a swing.

Gilda gaped. “Okay, that backfired! Gah!”

Thunder Edge flashed out.





“...so,” Trixie asked, when Gilda stopped. “Who won?”

Gilda shrugged. “Doesn't matter, does it? It was a good fight.”

Trixie gave her a look. “He kicked your flank, didn't he?”

The griffon slammed her foreclaws on the table. “Is his pocket entirely full of reinforced carrots?”





70.4

“That's not the real Princess Cadence!” Twilight shouted, cutting across the wedding ceremony. “This is!”

Every pony in the room looked to the figure of Princess Cadence standing next to Twilight, and then turned back to the Princess Cadence standing at the altar.

Most of them missed the significance of a simultaneous eye-twitch and blink from Princess Celestia, Princess Cadence (the one not on stage), Shining Armor and Twilight.

“...well, this rather puts a... hitch, into my plans,” the Cadence on stage said. “Nevertheless, I shall prevail!”

“Wait a second,” the other Cadence muttered to Twilight. “I think something's a bit-”

With a sparkling cloud of star-light, the Cadence on stage turned into Nightmare Moon. “You truly have forgotten me, sister,” Nightmare Moon pronounced, as ponies reacted with shock. “To think that thou couldst not tell me from thy niece, even for these many days of preparation.”

Princess Celestia shook her head wryly. “Actually, we knew all along. Well, I must admit I did not notice at first, but my co-ruler alerted me to the swap within the hour.”

“Indeed,” Princess Chrysalis said calmly, trotting into the cathedron. Her drone guards flittered in efficiently behind her, moving to evacuate the civilians. “And you've given us a delicious opportunity to ambush you, you know.”

Shining Armor, for his part, recovered from the shock quite quickly. He briskly moved away from the revealed Nightmare, and began casting shields.

“You know, there's a statue of Sombra in the grounds,” Twilight whispered to her old foalsitter. “I dread to think what the Empire's going to be like.”

“I'm still wrapping my head around Chrysalis as a Princess,” Cadence replied. “Why hasn't Nightmare Moon attacked yet?”

“Well, from what I know from raising somepony an awful lot like her, when she's like this she prefers-”

At the moment the last spectator was hustled through the door, Nightmare Moon struck. Celestia countered the first bolts of magic by flashing as bright as her sun, and then things got loud.





“Right,” Twilight said, matter-of-factly. “That's sorted that out. I love the Elements of Harmony.”

The other bearers looked askance at her.

“What?” she asked, defensively. “Look, they've solved at least three problems so far. So, does this mean Princess Luna gets reinstated?”

“What.” Princess Chrysalis' jaw dropped. “She just levelled most of Canterlot! My hive is open to the sky!”

“Not like they're complaining,” Twilight replied, nodding over to where some of the drones were setting up sunbathing chairs amidst the rubble that used to be Canterlot Castle. “Besides, I seem to recall a certain other attacker who got forgiven about two or three years ago...”

Princess Cadence put her hoof over her mouth to hold in a snigger.

“That sounds most fair,” Princess Celestia allowed, giving her slumbering sister a once-over. “I hope that my dear sibling is as cured as my loyal co-ruler is.”

“Wait, is this policy now?” Chrysalis demanded. “Because I would not have wanted to have Prince Sombra on the staff.”

“Well, if he'd been cured instead of turned back into a statue, I don't see how I could have refused,” Celestia said calmly. “Tell me, Twilight, do any of your friends have plans to become evil and then be cured? I believe that we may need to add another wing to the royal quarters when they are rebuilt, if so.”

“I was considering accepting a position if there are any open,” Twilight admitted.

There was a knock on the door. Since the doorframe wasn't attached to a wall anymore, it was sort of superfluous.

“Come in,” Princess Cadence answered for them.

“Hello, dear,” Shining Armor said, pushing the door open and walking through. As he finished getting through, it let out a wheeze and collapsed into the general rubble pile. “I think we managed to chase off the last of the Canis Minor. Did the cathedron survive?”

“B-b-b-b...” Chrysalis started to stutter, pointing wildly.

“It did,” Cadence confirmed, then gave her fiancé a stern look. “But I'm not sure if we should go through with it now, Shiny. I mean, you couldn't tell me from an evil moon villain!”

“I wasn't myself?” Shining volunteered.

“Fine, then.” Cadence nodded. “Same time tomorrow, then? That should give time to move your parents back from their evacuation area.”

“Why is he suddenly an alicorn?” the Changeling Princess burst out.

“I've heard there's been a case of it going around lately,” Celestia said delicately. “Well, it's good to know that I won't need to dedicate a royal suite to you separately, Prince Shining Armor. Welcome to the team.”

Chrysalis transferred her disbelieving gape from Shining to Celestia.

“Right, now, let's see. That's one royal suite for me, one for Chrysalis, one for Luna, one for the happy couple, I'll mark Twilight down as provisional and we can build two in spare as well... Twilight, make a note.”

Twilight made a note, hiding a snicker.





“Right, let's see...”

Twilight scanned the list of books in the library, for anything new from the loop. It sometimes happened that worlds with unusual events pre-Awakening had entirely new books to read, and that was always nice.

Ooh, a three-volume work on the integration of Princess Chrysalis and the Canterlot Hive into the government and society. I think I'm going to copy that one...

Actually, checking her loop-memories, she'd been interviewed for this one. On the moment when the Elements of Harmony had been unleashed on Chrysalis, and had for whatever reason not sent the invader to the moon as they had Luna nearly a thousand years before.

Well, at least three theories we mentioned in the interview are invalid, unfortunately, but it could still be helpful.

“Twiiiiii...” her assistant moaned, looking up from a book. “I'm bored.”

“How can you be bored?” she asked, turning and smiling. “That's a Daring Do book, isn't it?”

“Finished it.” Her assistant tossed her head, sending her rainbow mane flying. “Can't I go and play with Scootaloo? I read all the books you asked for...”

“You are a fast reader, I suppose.” Twilight thought for a minute. “Okay, go ahead. But don't harrass Spykoran too much!”

“But he's totally crucial!” Dash complained. “I mean, he's a dragon who breathes fire on clouds and then makes them shoot thunder and he's just radical! I want to be like him when I grow up!”

Twilight chuckled. “I know, I know.” This time, anyway. “But he does have a job, so if he asks you to leave him alone then leave him alone.”

Dash kicked the table leg in sullen silence.

“Oh, sorry, I almost forgot.” Twilight picked up a letter from the table. “Can you take this to Princess Celestia? Then you can go and play with Scootaloo.”

Dash perked up. “Sure thing, big sis!”

A blur of rainbow light, a boom, and Twilight's special assistant (and adoptive sister) was halfway to Canterlot by the time the curtains settled back.

Twilight smiled, wondering just how many photos she should take of chibi-Dash this loop.

That she'd be taking some was indisputable. This version of Dash was adorable – and potential blackmail or amusement value for her looping self, to boot.





70.5





“My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I dislike morons, idiots, repetition, morons, repetition, hesitation, deviation and traitorous Teriyaki stalls from the future that don't exist yet. My dream is for the sons of former Jinchuuriki and the sons of former Hokages to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. With my Shadow Clones I'm almost there, I just need to find a table of brotherhood. And I like confusing people and committing untraceable plagarism.”

Naruto sat back, enjoying the complete and total confusion of his team.

While he watched Kakashi trying to work out if he knew his own past, he sent out a quick pulse of generalized combined magic/chakra. If there were any loopers around, they should respond...

One pulse replied. It wasn't particularly coherent, which probably meant a newbie – or someone who hadn't had occasion to practise the alert, anyway.

Well, guess I am the host for this set. May as well see how they plan to mess with things.





“Seven vulnerable points,” Zabuza growled threateningly.

“Self esteem, spleen, left earlobe, right thigh, larynx, hair style and fashion sense,” Naruto listed off. “Or they are on me, anyway.”

He shrugged, as the missing-nin's patter faltered. “Hey, I'm a pre-teen, I've got a very fragile worldview.”

Zabuza almost audibly decided to ignore him as insane.

Seriously, where is that other looper? He's taking ages to show up...





“Senseiiiii?” Naruto whined. “I've got too much chakra for this.”

Demonstrating, he put his foot on a tree, and pushed some of the furball's chakra through his foot. The tree promptly fell over.

“Huh.” Kakashi shrugged. “How about that. Sakura, Sasuke, practise that, while I try to avoid Naruto deforesting the island.”

He's surprisingly competent when he's faced with the kind of problems he expects, Naruto thought. Then shook it off. That's unfair. Who could have predicted our first three years?

They were interrupted by the sound of unhurried footsteps.

A tall, willowy, grey-haired woman in a business suit stepped out from behind a large tree. Kakashi instantly went on alert, because the woman hadn't appeared to get to the tree beforehand – as though she'd just appeared out of the air.

“Mister... Noruta?” the woman asked, consulting a clipboard. “I'm looking for a mister Noruta Uzukami.”

“I'm Naruto Uzumaki,” Naruto volunteered, realizing what had to be going on. Or some of it, at least.

The woman inspected her clipboard more closely. Then sighed. “This new intern has terrible handwriting. Anyway, I'm supposed to ask you a few questions? Just a routine survey.”

“Go ahead!” Naruto said brightly.

“Right.” The woman turned over the first page of her notes on the clipboard. “What is your name?”

“...Naruto Uzumaki.”

“Oh, sorry. I swear, these forms...” A pen scratched. “What is your favourite colour?”

“Orange.”

“Right... and your mother's maiden name?”

“Uhhh...” Naruto turned theatrically to Kakashi. “What was it, sensei?”

“What of it?”Kakashi said warily. “Who are you?”

“I'm with the Akatsuki corporation,” the woman answered, and patted her suit where there was a cheerful name-tag sticker. Hello, my name is: Ivory.

“Oh, I remember now!” Naruto beamed, as openly and sincerely as he could (which was very well indeed). “I use my mother's name. She was an Uzumaki as well!”

“Ah!” Ivory scribbled something else down. “One more question. Are you now, or have you ever been in the past, a ninja?”

Naruto indicated his forehead protector.

“Splendid. Thank you for your time. Please contact us if you have any feedback.” Ivory passed him a card, and walked off.

“...what just happened?” Kakashi asked, frowning slightly. “I've heard of an Akatsuki group before, but not for years...”

Naruto inspected the card, watching with appreciation as the words on it changed to a simple name and address.

It was what had been on it before, though, which made him sure he'd found the other looper.

Ivory Scroll/Mayor Mare

Usually a pony

Head of Akatsuki Paperwork division





“So, first time here?” Naruto asked Ivory a few weeks later.

Both of them were here by proxy – Ivory using one of her new paper clones, and Naruto one of his more versatile Doppelgangers – so there weren't any concerns about acting in-character.

“That's right,” Ivory agreed. “I'm the right hand woman of the head of this Akatsuki organization, which as I understand it seems to be doing something as stupid as using a very large hammer to stop a clock showing the wrong time.”

“Pretty much.” Naruto slouched in the chair, waiting for the ramen to arrive. “Most of what I do tends to be related to stopping Akatsuki. You're from Equestria, then?”

“Indeed. It's nice to know you have some familiarity with the baseline I'm working from in terms of understanding.”

“Well, a bit.” Naruto allowed. “They're very helpful there. Kakashi was in a bad way.”

“I have heard of that loop, yes. Twilight brought it up as one way Equestria's self-assigned status as a sanctuary loop helps other loopers in tangible ways.” Ivory gave a small smile. “But I assume that we're not here to talk about my loop.”

“Yeah, true.” The local Anchor thought for a while. “Right. I guess you're anti widespread devastation?”

Ivory nodded.

“Right. Always good to check. How good is your grip on Konan's paper-jutsu?”

“I can manage reasonably well, I think.” Ivory thought, then nodded. “I can do most of what my loop-memories say I should be able to.”

“Cool. Okay, here's the plan...”





“Right.” Anko Mitarashi handed the forms around. “Sign these, return them, and you get one of the scrolls. If you don't sign them, you fail. If you sign them and die in the forest of death, not only do you fail but your next of kin get absolutely no compensation whatsoever. And if you sign them, and merely get crippled for life, then you get a very small basket of fruit and a card saying at least you didn't die! And you fail. So, who's going to wimp out?”

Several teams looked nervous. One team of genin from Grass chuckled, their leader signing her scroll without even bothering to read the release form.

Which exploded.

Most of the genin turned, stunned, to look at the crater.

“Oh, what the hell?” Anko turned to the desk. “Who mixed in an exploding tag?”

“None of us,” one of the people at the desk said, as she processed forms and handed out scrolls – though there weren't a lot more people handing in signed forms anyway at the moment. “Though there was this clause which said you didn't plan to attempt to conquer Konoha over the course of the exam, so that might be it.”

Two Sand genin dropped their forms like they were red-hot, and the Sound team walked out.





“That still makes me feel a little ill,” Ivory muttered.

“Eh, it's Old Roachy, he'll come back.” Naruto waved it off. “And I don't mean next loop, either.”

“If you say so.” Ivory shook her head. “Right, I've got the material for the next one planned out.”

“Excellent!” Naruto rubbed his hands together. “Make sure you get a picture of his face.”





“Master Pein.”

The Leader of Akatsuki turned to his second-in-command, wincing slightly as the machine he was in pulled on its connections to him. “What is it?”

“I have found a way to acquire the nine-tails container.”

“Good,” Nagato said simply. “Do so.”

The grey-haired kunoichi paused. “I'm afraid there is paperwork involved.”

Nagato surprised himself with a brief laugh. “Which is appropriate for you, I suppose. Very well. What must I do?”

“Sign here.”

Yahiko's body took the pen from her hand, and signed the paper. “Done.”

“Excellent.” Ivory took the paper back, countersigned it, and slipped it into a folder. “You have now adopted the Kyuubi container, Naruto Uzumaki.”

Nagato paused. “What did you say?”





“Can't we do something about it?” the Hokage asked, sighing.

“I'm afraid it's completely legal,” Homura replied with a sour expression. “This Nagato individual is an Uzumaki, which makes him the closest known relative who hasn't washed their hands of him unconditionally, and the appropriate paperwork was all filed here as well. It'd take months to contest it.”

Danzo just shook his head.

“Isn't there anything we can do to mitigate the damage?”

The others exchanged glances. None of them spoke.





“I'm still not convinced this is going to work,” Ivory confided.

Naruto shrugged. “Seriously, I know how my world works. It'll be fine.”





“Why are we moving to Konoha?” Nagato asked, looking blankly at the papers.

“Because it's a better environment to carry out the plan.” Ivory dumped another armload on him. “This covers change of citizenship.”

“How will we be able to gather the Jinchuuriki in the middle of a hidden village?”

“Surely we both know that's not the real objective.” Ivory looked up, at where a paper crane was flapping down towards them. “Ah, here we are.”

She caught it, and unfolded it. “Yep, there we go.”

Then, with a flick of her wrist, she shook it out. It unfolded further, and further again, until it was a three foot by one page of dense text.

“A five-sided non-aggression treaty between the hidden villages. Binding, as well. I just got it from thirty paper clones who spent the last month drafting it.”

She made a few handseals, then tapped the paper. Over a dozen duplicates formed, folded themselves into paper cranes and flew off.

“That is not going to work,” Nagato stated bluntly. “The world is pain. Even if they sign it – and they will not – they will simply ignore it when the time comes.”

“Oh, you say that.” Ivory smiled mysteriously. “That's why the entire document folds up into a one page piece saying that the ninja village in question will not launch any surprise attacks, in return for a very large cash bounty for signing.”

“Surprise attacks?”

“Wars are very surprising when they start.” Ivory nodded. “As are attacks before a war has started. And yes, they'll try to ignore it...”





Four sound ninja crept towards Konoha.

Their mission, given to them by Orochimaru himself (who'd looked a little singed) was to bring Sasuke Uchiha back to the Sound village. By force, if necessary.

Kidomaru glanced over at the rest of the team, and made some hand gestures. Three. Two. One-

Clouds of paper erupted from nowhere.





“Well...” Kakashi said critically, examining the thoroughly mummified Sound Four. “That's the most literal definition of restraining order I've ever seen.”

Naruto started laughing.

“It seems to be thousands upon thousands of copies of the peace treaty,” Sakura added uncertainly. “With the signature of... Orochimaru?”

Naruto just laughed harder.





“I'm afraid to say that we're going to let you go.”

Tobi stared at Ivory. Well, presumably stared. It was a little hard to tell, what with the mask.

“But why? Tobi is a good intern!”

“Your handwriting is atrocious, you were late for work on three separate occasions, you treat the whole business as a joke, and you also plan to hypnotize everyone with the moon.” Ivory shook her head. “We can't give you a good employment reference either, I'm afraid.”

Tobi shook his head, then chuckled, darkly. “Well, so much for the charade. You do remember that I am Uchiha Madara, do you not?”

“Yes, about that.” Ivory shuffled some papers. “We understand there's an issue of identity theft, as well. Can you prove that you are Uchiha Madara, rather than just some random black-haired Uchiha with a mask?”

“Um...”





“So, you said you had a loop outside Equestria?” Twilight asked, over tea, the day before the Summer Sun celebration. (They were ostensibly discussing how she should handle checking in on the preparations – she was just off the chariot – and to be fair that was on the agenda.) “Where was it?”

“The Elemental Countries. Naruto's world.” The Mayor nodded absently. “Interesting place, though their villains are a bit nasty. I'm sorry to say I was killed.”

“Ouch.” Twilight winced. “That always stings. Who by?”

“Tobi. I understand he's Obito?” she checked, to which Twilight nodded. “Okay, thanks for confirming that. Anyway, I called him out over his real identity and he stalled for a bit, then teleported behind me and stabbed me.”

“Ouch again.” Twilight let that hang in the air for a moment. “So, anything else?”

“Oh, there was actually.” Ivory Scroll, also known as Mayor Mare, pulled a large document from her Pocket. “I prepared this earlier. Can you add a spell to the bottom? Oh, and provide shields around the stage.”

Twilight nodded. “Certainly. Which spell?”





“The Night will last forever!”

Ivory trotted smartly up to the stage. “Nightmare Moon?”

“Yes?” the alicorn replied, looking down. “Why?”

“You've been served. Good day.” The mayor held out a scroll.

“Served? What means this?” Nightmare Moon demanded, taking the scroll in her magic and opening it. “I will make you all my servants, of course, but... what! You demand this of your ruler? 'You are ordered to cease, desist and explode your attempts to usurp the rule of this country away from the legitimately crowned ruler, Princess Celestia.'”

Nightmare Moon laughed cynically, then read on. “'While the aforementioned Celestia will settle for joint rule, she will not settle for sole control in the hands of her sister who was rightly banished for her attempt to conquer Equestria by force. As such, explosive runes.'”

The alicorn blinked at the last two words, which had started to glow. “Pardon?”

A very loud bang rattled the windows around Ponyville square.





“I'll go up there and sort her out later,” Twilight affirmed. “I assume that was just as many explosive tag seals as you could fit onto the paper?”

“With microdot writing,” the real Mayor confirmed. “I also have a few Restraining Orders and a Cutting Letter in my pocket, and I know an ink supplier in Ponyville who can get me useful seal ink. Can you help me sort out how to perform handseals as a pony, though? That paper clone was pre-made. And it'd be nice to know a more versatile trigger, as well.”

“Of course,” the anchor promised. “I must say, it's impressive that you've managed to fully weaponize paperwork.”





70.6

Trixie Lulamoon whistled to herself as she trotted briskly along the road between Trottingham and Manehattan.

She had a gig in Manehattan next week – they'd booked a stadium – but she could make her own way there, and there was enough slack in the schedule that she could easily manage playing a few minor towns along the way. For old times' sake.

The kind of place she'd perform in the main street, stay in the house of someone with a room to spare, and set off next morning with a full belly and a spring in her step.

Then something hurtled out of the sky and landed with a thud just off the road ahead.

Trixie stopped. Then pulled her wagon over to the side of the road, hit the quick-release catch, and cantered to where the object had landed.





The object, as it turned out, was a pony. An earth pony mare with a dark green coat and a brown mane, who looked a little dazed.

“Are you alright?” Trixie asked, casting a telekinetic spell which reduced the apparent gravity on the stricken pony. It was more polite than just bodily picking her up...

“I... yes, I'm okay.” The mare pushed herself unsteadily to her feet, then winced. “Ow, I think that one's broken.”

Trixie looked at the leg, and noticed something slightly odd about the joint. Not just the break – which was one of the two bones in the lower foreleg, and as such was technically possible to stand on in low gravity – but the way it was bending.

She ran back over the situation, and came up with an answer.

“Are you Queen Chrysalis?” she asked, deciding to get it out in the open.

The pony froze for a second, then shook her head. “Whoever she is, no.”

“You're lying, aren't you.” Trixie smiled. “It's okay, I can see you're hurt. This should help.”

She concentrated carefully on her feelings for Chryssy – the older, wiser, Looping version of this disguised Changeling – and put her not inconsiderable magic behind them, then pushed.

Chrysalis felt a warm, soothing love suffuse her. It restored her drained magic reserves, then died back to a distant but still present heat.

“...what?”

“Okay, this is going to sound crazy. But you're an empath, you can tell that even if this isn't the truth I believe it. I kind of come from the future, and we're dating. Specifically...”





“...so, that's about the shape of it,” Trixie finished, some time later.

Chrysalis looked at her, tasting her opinions. “You're right, you do believe it. Every word.”

“And...” Trixie prompted.

“And so do I, curse it.” The no-longer-disguised Changeling kicked the ground. “You're far too calm to have not met me before, but the Hive has no record of your existence except for the few times a changeling has seen one of your shows. And that love was felt for me, I could tell. But... I don't reciprocate.”

“And that's fine.” Trixie said levelly. “To me, you're kind of like the younger sister of my mare-friend anyway.”

“Right.” Chrysalis rubbed her forehead. “Okay, what now?”

Trixie pondered. “Well, I do have a slot open for an assistant...”





70.7

“Good morning, Pinchy,” Berry said brightly. “Time for you to get up for school!”

Ruby Pinch blinked, yawned, and crawled out of bed. “Okay, momma...”

Berry smiled, moving aside to let her daughter through the bedroom door.

It was always hard, the first day of a new loop. When her daughter was suddenly years younger, and couldn't remember a lot of their time together. So she always put on a brave face, because it seemed to help.

Most of the time.

“Where's my cereal, momma?” the filly unicorn (this time, at least) asked. “I can't find it.”

“Check on the right side of the cupboard,” Berry replied automatically.

“Oh, yeah! Thanks, momma!”





Some minutes later, Ruby Pinch was at the door. Her teeth were clean, her mane was done, and she had her saddlebags on.

“Have a good day!” Berry called.

“Uh... momma?” Ruby said uncertainly, standing just inside the door. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Are you okay?”

Berry blinked. “What do you mean, Pinchy?”

“Well...” Ruby frowned. “You're... different, this morning. You seem kind of happier, but sad as well. And you haven't had a drink yet.”

Ouch.

Berry forced a smile, feeling tears start in her eyes. “Oh, Pinchy. I'm sorry if I haven't been such a good momma, but-”

“You are!” Ruby said fiercely. “You're the best!”

The purple mare had to try a couple of times to resume speaking without croaking.

“Thank you,” she sniffed, on the third attempt. “Just... thank you, Pinchy.”

Ruby smiled, not sure how she'd helped, but happy she had.

“Now, run along, dear. You need to get to school on time.”

Ruby glanced at the clock, and cantered out into the street to head for school.

“That says it all, doesn't it...” Berry muttered to herself. “Buck, I must have been a mess...”

She shook her head. “Well, I can certainly do better. Especially now. Who knows a good hangover-cure spell...”





“I see,” Twilight nodded. “You want to make sure you can be sober for Ruby...”

“...but I don't want to just give up my passion entirely.” Berry nodded. “That's right – I can't just stop, because creating drinks involves tasting. Despite that, I've been cutting back a lot gradually over the loops, but this time was when it really came out into the open for me.”

“Right. Well, Zecora does good cures, of course, but...”

“Yeah, we don't always loop together. And asking the non-looping one for over a hundred at a time won't go down well. To say the least...”

“Indeed.” Twilight paused. “You do realize that you will need to ascend to gain a horn and the means of casting this spell, correct?”

“I do,” Berry affirmed. “I may not especially relish my transformation, as such – not that I dislike it, but... oh, you know what I mean. I just prefer to be an earth pony most of the time.”

The unicorn just gave her a slow nod.

“But if I have to, I will. Okay, how do I do this...”





Berry came muzzily to awareness in her kitchen.

There was a faint tang of cinnamon in the air.

Huh. Guess that really did work out stronger than I was anticipating. Berry shook her head, trying to clear the pounding headache that had manifested, and looked at the glass on the table.

It was, indeed, nearly full of her newly developed 'brain suicide by spice'.

Then she looked at the clock.

Erk!





“Come on, come on...” Berry muttered, rummaging through her pocket and wincing against the headache. “Where's that stupid Spectrum crystal tumbler...”

Eventually, she managed to locate it, and pulled it out into the real world. A moment's focus and she was an alicorn, another to cast the spell...

There was a door-creak.

And a small pair of lungs inhaling a very impressive amount of air.

Well, ponyfeathers.





“What, exactly, am I going to put on the stained glass window?” Celestia asked, partly of her sister and partly of thin air. “She appears to have become an alicorn from creating mixed drinks!”

Luna shrugged, sipping at her glass. “I do not know, dear sister mine. Perhaps some of this coriander cordial will aid your cognition?”

“...oh, why not.”





70.8

“Twilight Sparkle, lend me your ear. I have a plan for you to hear.”

Twilight looked up, already aware who it had to be. “Hello, Zecora. I must say, it's earlier than usual for you to show up in Ponyville of a new loop. Which is saying something... did you have a new pattern for convincing the town that you're not evil?”

“My thoughts were such, though why my haste... It is more of the obverse case.” The zebra frowned, scanning back over her words, then let it go. “In truth, I wished to take my chances – what if I really did do evil dances?”

“...oh, I see!” Twilight nodded. “Right, right. You want to pretend to actually be evil. That should be fine, I can get the rest of the Elements into a team of superheroes fairly easily, even without their looping. Anything I should know?”

Zecora pondered. “I plan to be equipped with and use trees – an evil witch who rules the Everfree. Counsel Fluttershy I do no true harm...” She shook her head. “I have no wish to so soon buy the farm.”

“Yeah, good point.” Twilight pulled a checklist from her pocket. “Okay, step one for forming the Harmony Elementals – select base. Well, I could do the old elaborate underground base routine...”





Trixie fled the stupid town, where there were stupid ponies and stupid bears and stupid, stupid, goody-four-shoes unicorns who showed her up.

And she'd lost her wagon, as well. Everything she owned.

After a few minutes, her legs began to ache, and she slowed to a walk. She looked around, noticing that her headlong gallop had carried her into the Everfree Forest.

Trixie had heard stories about this place, but dismissed them as exaggeration.

And you should know, part of her whispered. But there certainly was an ursa in there, wasn't there?

A twig cracked.

“Who was that?” she demanded, her horn lighting with a blue glow.

Something moved past her line of sight, too fast to see. Something else creaked behind her, and she spun – seeing nothing.

The magic charge in her horn went into a searchlight spell, which showed gnarled tree branches reaching for her. She shivered.

Somehow, living rough was a lot more pleasant when you had a wagon to do it in...

Then there was a great crackling, tearing sound off to her right. She looked, and a tree had fallen across the road behind her.

Another slammed down across the road ahead of her.

“We should speak soon...” a voice said, in an accent Trixie couldn't place.

“...miss Lulamoon.”

“Who are you?” Trixie demanded, though there was a little catch in her voice.

Then there was a puff of green smoke, and a striped pony – a zebra – was standing on one of the tree trunks, silhouetted against the sky.

“You seem upset at Ponyville. I, too, have cause to wish them ill.”

The zebra gestured, and a network of branches grew from the fallen trunk, providing her with steps to make her way down to Trixie's level.

“I have food, drink, a roaring fire... and all the revenge you desire.”





“You are scarily good at this,” Twilight commented, sipping her herbal tea.

Thanks to a complex glamour spell, she was currently assuming the role of 'Zebediah',  a fellow zebra to Zecora, and as such could visit her without alarming her teammates. (Well, without alarming them too much. She was still relying on a shadow clone back at base, which was obviously rather risky.)

“I can act much like an evil horse,” Zecora allowed, mixing up a potion which was intended to cause a short-lived Poison Joke effect (about five minutes, making it scary without being threatening). “But my villainy has run its' course. We should plan my return to good – I tire of enforced solitude.”

“Good idea,” Twilight said. “Was that last one really a rhyme, though? It didn't scan well...”

“You try to rhyme with every line,” the zebra muttered, winning a chuckle from Twilight.

“Okay. Here's an idea. Use the Joke next time, and then the time after that...”





“Ponyville shall cower at our knees!” Zecora cackled, marching into town with a half-dozen lumbering wooden golems behind her. “Nothing you can do can defeat the trees!”

“Not if we can help it!”

She turned, to see Twilight and her five fellow Element bearers, all in costume. “All six of you at once. I'd thought you were at lunch.”

Pinkie giggled, then put her serious expression back on.

“Let's get her!” Dash shouted.





Several confused minutes later, Zecora was in a small crater with the ruins of five animated trees around it, and a cloud of green smoke dissipating in the breeze.

The last of the six trees was being enthusiastically nibbled on by Angel Bunny. He was going for the jugular root, whether it existed or not.

“What now?” Applejack asked, looking dubious and adjusting her Element necklace. “She might'a been evil, but she were bein' controlled, it seems to me, and it wouldn’t be right t' not give her th' same chance Princess Luna got given, and all.”

Twilight looked Zecora in the eye. “Are you still evil, or do you intend any harm to any resident of Ponyville?”

“I do not. Not a jot.”

“...sounds good to me!” Pinkie said brightly. Then gave Zecora a stare. “But Pinkie Promise it, just to prove it!”

Zecora nodded. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

The others discussed that amongst themselves.

“Good enough for me!” Dash pronounced. “Seriously, though, don't break that promise. Really.”

“Well, that worked out well!” Twilight said.

“Um...” Fluttershy pointed. “Except for the property damage.”

Twilight looked at the seven or eight destroyed houses. “Community service, I think.”

Zecora followed their gaze, then wordlessly gestured. New houses – made of wood, of course – erupted from the ground.

“Thank you.”





70.9





“And then the light beams are scattered by suspensoids in the atmosphere, which results in a diffusion which has an amplitude proportional to the inverse fourth power of the wavelength, so bluer wavelengths are scattered much more. That results in the blue light being scattered over the sky much more efficiently, with the greater response our eyes have to greener wavelengths and the overall green spectrum peak the sun has resulting in the more characteristic shade compared to deep purple-blue which is the most efficiently scattered.”

Cheerilee put down the chalk, and turned to the class.

No-pony spoke for several seconds.

“I don't get it...” Snips muttered.

“Mith?” Twist raised a hoof. “I only asked why the thky is blue...”

Cheerilee looked back at the equations and diagrams spread over the board. “...whoops. Hang on, I'll try to put it more simply...”





70.10

“We need t' get somepony to fall in love,” Applebloom said, thoughtfully. “That'll earn us a cutie mark!”

“Sure,” Scootaloo agreed. “But who?”

“Well, what about Miss Cheerilee?”

“She's out of town today,” Sweetie Belle observed. “Remember? She said she was taking a week's holiday last Friday.”

“Well... what about Miss Sparkle, then?” Applebloom suggested. “Wasn't she gonna be our teacher this week?”

“Nah,” Scootaloo shook her head. “She doesn't seem unhappy at all. And Hearts and Hooves day is about making unhappy ponies happy!”

“Actually...” Sweetie Belle mused. “I have an idea.”





A pink haze cleared from Spike's eyes. He blinked, drawing on his well-practised meditation to speed his thoughts, and began to take stock.

He was in a hole in the ground.

He was wearing a suit. Well sized for him, as well, which wasn't bad given he was about the same size as Big Mac.

Rarity was also in the hole in the ground, wearing a long white dress.

And there were three very embarrassed fillies peering over the edge of the hole.

Rarity exchanged a glance with him, then both of them looked at the edge of the hole.

“Why am I in a pit wearing a dress?” Rarity asked, focusing specifically on her sister. “There better be a good explanation, because this ruined this dress!”

“Sorry, Sis,” Sweetie said, blushing. “We thought you needed a special somepony for Hearts and Hooves day!”

“I have to admit, I like their taste...” Spike murmured, and Rarity gave him a look.

He waggled his eyebrows slightly.

Rarity mulled that over, then shrugged. “Oh, whatever.”

At least they'd have a reasonable excuse, this loop...





The Crusaders blinked, as Spike and Rarity embraced.

“Does this mean it worked?” Scootaloo asked, confused.

Then all three of them looked away. “Ew, kissing!”

“Should have thought that thro~ugh!” Rarity called up to them.





70.11

“Hey,” Applejack said, uncertainly. “Gilda? You got a min?”

“Sure.” The gryphon nodded to her. “Well, only a minute or two right now, I'm gonna do an interview in a few for the 'bolts. Spike an' I are havin' a bet over who can be the first non-pony in the group this loop.”

“Right, right.” Applejack frowned. “Yeah, this might take a while. Come see me when you've got the spare time.”

“Will do.” Gilda gave her a thumbclaw's up, then returned to scanning the sky for Wonderbolt.





“Oi, fruitflank!” Gilda crowed, backwinging to land perching on the branch of a tree.

“Gilda,” Applejack nodded up to her. “Can y' get off Seedfeld?”

Gilda glanced down at the branch, which began to creak. “Spoilsport.” Flaring her wings again, she touched down gently on the orchard grass.

“'preciate it.” Applejack sat back. “Nice outfit, by th' way. You won?”

“Nah, it was a draw.” Gilda shrugged. “Apparently a fifty foot dragon is as remarkable as a gryphon who doesn't even care about physics.”

“There ain't no accountin' for taste,” Applejack said sympathetically. They nodded together for a moment, then both sniggered.

“Right,” Applejack began again. “Anyway, what I was gonna say.”

“Sure.”

“Well, not t' blow mah own trumpet, but ah'd say that ah have experience with th' element of Honesty.”

“Yeah, that's fair.” Gilda nodded. “More than I have, anyway. I'm guessing it's related to that?”

Applejack tossed her head. “Yep. So, anyway, when I'm usin' my Element, it's basically like ah can tell when somepony is lying. Ah get a real uncomfortable feel, though o' course it also depends on what kind'a lie. One that ain't for malice, it's more like a faint itch... and if ah'm ready for it, that helps too. Like all th' times we set stuff up for fun, that barely registers.”

“Right.” Gilda scratched her chin. “Yeah, mine is different. It's more like, yours is about people being honest with one another – mine is about people being honest with themselves. It isn't well developed, yet... hay, I don't get much practise with you lot... but I kinda get... yeah, feelings is about right. If someone's not being honest with themselves, I can see vaguely how to get under their skin and screw with them – and get them to admit things to themselves. And I think – I think – that that kind of admission sticks with you.”

“Sounds useful, actually.” Applejack frowned. “Well, it ain't pleasant, and all, but it sounds like the kind'a help that people who end up here need sometimes.”

“Yeah. I should practise it more. I suppose I'm just too used to faking strength to get at real weakness without feeling uncomfortable.” Gilda blinked, and shook her head with a sneeze. “Whoo, that felt strange. Just triggered it on myself.”

Applejack chuckled. “Good start. Tell y'all what, next time someone loops in here who ain't all self-honest and all, you give 'em a pep talk. With shoutin', an' stuff.”

“That I can do.” Gilda nodded. “Hey, should I start with that Manehattan filly from your family?”

“Why not.” Applejack shrugged. “Give it a go.”





70.12

Trixie tore open the paper.

Then blinked. “Huh. I... don't know why I expected anything else from you.”

Rarity smiled briefly. “Well, I am a clothesmaker. What do you think?”

Trixie swept up the cloak. “It's basically identical to my normal one... I think?”

“Ah, that's where you are both correct and incorrect.” Rarity smiled. “Channel magic into the outer layer.”

The sorceror did so, resulting in the patterns vanishing. What replaced them was a faintly sparkling starfield, which lit up in tiny patterns of light blue.

“That looks familiar...” Trixie mused, frowning, then moved it to get a look from another angle. As she did so, it brightened, and green and yellow starbursts added themselves to the pattern. “Wait, I do recognize this!”

Rarity nodded. “It's your own mane, of course. It reacts to your magic correctly, because I raised the sensitivity.”

“So cool,” Trixie pronounced, sweeping it onto her back in an explosion of rainbow light. “This is the perfect way to look awesome without having to explain away the wings!”

“I do try,” Rarity allowed. “Now-”

“Wait a sec.” Trixie pointed a hoof at her. “Where did this mane of mine come from? Trixie does not recall donating any!”

Rarity chuckled. “That would be the Changeling Queen, in the bedroom, with the hairbrush. This is – partly – a commission.”

“...oh, fair enough.” Trixie put her hoof back down again. “What were you saying?”

“Oh, right. The inner lining?”

Trixie lifted the tip of the cloak up, revealing a shimmering green lining. “Impressive. But green is not my colour...”

“Indeed not,” Rarity agreed readily. “But this is a utile measure, and you can always put a second layer beneath it to shield it. That's some dragonfire from Spike, aimed to a spot in the wilderness. There's twelve different command phrases for the twelve different portions in there, so you should get several uses out of it before you need a refill.”

“...so, let Trixie check she has this straight.” The blue unicorn paused. “This is a cloak which will let me disappear in a puff of green flame on command?”

Rarity nodded.

“Now that's cool. Thanks, and thank Spike for me.”





70.13

Celestia yawned, shaking her head as her internal alarm woke her.

About half an hour before dawn, so it wasn't long before she had to relieve her sister. But, hopefully, long enough for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Acquiring both from a well-stocked cupboard, she dipped the biscuit delicately in the Earl Bay. (One thousand years and more of tea drinking gave one a very good idea of just how to get the most enjoyment out of a cup of tea.)

Then she paused, biscuit half-nibbled, at the sight of an envelope.

“How strange...” she mused. “Maybe Twilight had a message for me overnight?”

Slitting the envelope open along the top with her horn, she unfolded the letter.

'Dear Celestia,

The statue broke, and I'm out.'

Celestia dropped her biscuit.

'This place is so samey. What happened to the old palace with the rickety bridge as the quickest way in or out? I liked that. Well, I put a taffy pit underneath, which is the same thing.

But I've had over a thousand years to think of new material. And let me tell you, I've got lots of new ideas.

Yours chaotically,

Aunt Mabel. Alias Discord, The End of Reason, Oh Buck It's Him.'

Celestia took two deep breaths, then sprang into action. “Call out the guard!”





“So, what's your plan this time?” Twilight asked, curious.

Discord handed her a peanut butter cordial. “Well, I sent Celly a letter telling her I was out.”

Twilight waited.

After about ten seconds, she prompted “And?”

“And nothing.” Discord shrugged. “I don't have to sow chaos.”

“She's going to be frantic,” Twilight said, then looked at the draconequus anew. “Okay, that is good.”

Discord examined his beard. “I do try. Well, I don't, that's the whole point.”





“There!” Luna shouted, pointing. “That is one of Discord's vile wiles!”

Two other alicorns and a Guard Captain stared over the makeshift barricade.

“Actually, I think that's an electric water filter...” Cadence volunteered uncertainly.

The filter made a bloop sound, and then ceased to exist as a powerful spell smashed it to smithereens.

“Luna...” Celestia said,  wincing. “I know it's strange, but a machine that turns drinkable water into... drinkable water... is not one of Discord's creations.”

A tapestry flapped, and then caught fire.

“Got you!” Celestia grinned. Her grin turned into a frown as, rather than turning back into Discord, the tapestry simply continued to burn.

“Please tell me my rulers aren't going to destroy half the castle...” Shining Armor muttered to himself.

“I'm sure it'll be... at most one third?” Cadence tried.

“Not really much better...”





70.14

“Sorry, Princess,” Mac said with a tone of regret tinting his voice. “Y'all have had enough. Ah'm cuttin' you off.”

Celestia gave him a bleary look. “My alcohol tolerance is superb,” she said clearly. “I have not had enough.”

“Princess, ah can tell that y'all have had more than you should,” Mac continued implacably. “Don't rightly know if you can tell, but ah certainly can.”

“And what kind of proof do you have?” Celestia asked, looking at him squarely in the eye.

“The sun's risin' in the north.”

Princess Celestia took her gaze from him to look at the horizon for a moment. “So it is. Huh.”

Mac began to say something, stopped, then sighed. “Okay, look. Clearly y'all have had a bad loop, so ah'm gonna get Twilight to take over the whole sky-thing. Just don't drink the stuff in the red-tagged bottles, they ain't ready just yet.”

“Still fermenting?” Celestia asked, using her magic to take out a bottle without a red tag and pop the cork.

“Fermentin', percolatin' and in one case procrastinatin'.” Mac shrugged. “Ah just call 'em in progress. They'll be done later this loop.”

“Right.” Celestia took another look at the red-tagged bottles, then shrugged. “Thanks.”

“It's mah job,” Mac replied with a smile. “You want t' talk about it?”

Celestia shuddered. “One word. Celestai.”

“...ain't all that sure ah get it, actually, Princess...” Mac admitted.

“Good. Suffice to say I spent most of my time reconstructing alien races and apologizing profusely.” The Princess of the Sun downed a glass. “I will talk about it more later, but... for now, alcohol.”





70.15

“You're worse at this than my mother!” Silver called, clapping her paws on the ground and producing a large earthen mallet. The mallet slammed into the volleyball, sending it rocketing off towards the net.

As soon as it cleared the line of string, it slowed to hang in mid-air.

“Your mother's a Canis Minor this loop, she's not exactly good at volleyball!” Diamond Tiara replied, frowning, and the ball twitched, then shot back across the line.

The star-beast known as Procyon Silveris jumped into the air, balancing briefly on an alchemically-hardened disc of air, and then slammed both forepaws into the volleyball.

Which promptly exploded.

Silver landed, and winced. “Whoops... sorry, DT.”

“That's the third time, for goodness' sakes!” Tiara's eye twitched, then she sighed. “It rather looks as though we won't be able to get this game to work, Silver. Sorry, but you're not... built... for it.”

“Yeah, I gotcha.” Silver's tail drooped. “Kinda wish my body'd make up its mind what shape I should be. I mean, variety is kind of interesting, but this is ridiculous.”

Tiara nodded. “Sucks, yeah.”

She trotted over as Silver lay down, and sat back against her flank.

For several minutes, they just enjoyed the sunlight. Silver began to emit a kind of lupine purr, tail thumping on the ground.

“You're a star-wolf, not a cat,” Tiara sniggered.

Silver stuck her tongue out.

“Actually,” Tiara went on, rummaging in her Pocket for a moment. “I do have something we could do.”

“Oh?” Silver looked over.

“Well, when Spike and I are doing TK practise, we usually use something which would let us know if we moved it too jerkily. So – and not to racially stereotype here – I happen to have a dingly ball. Want to play fetch?”

“...sure, why not.” Silver got up and stretched. “May as well. I mean, if there's nothing better to do.”

Tiara grinned. “Do you want the ball? See the ball? Fetch!”

“That's unfair!” Silver's voice drifted back to her. The voice's owner was already nearly halfway across the field, following the dingly ball at a flat run.