To Speak As Thou
A Lesson Over A Snack
Celestia was quite happy with how smoothly things had gone at breakfast. Luna hadn't resisted or fought against the idea, and actually seemed to be looking forward to it. There was still a problem, however; she had no idea what she was going to do. Celestia never really had to learn to speak differently, she had simply adjusted to the linguistic changes as the centuries passed.
Luna did not have that luxury. She had been thrust into a strange new time where one of the only things she recognized was her own sister. The sister that had banished her.
"Princess Celestia, are you all right?" Having been lost in thought, Celestia hadn't realized her secretary was trying to get her attention.
"Oh! Yes, I'm fine, thank you." She replied kindly, "I was just, thinking."
"About what?" He asked. There was a slight pause as the Princess though about how to answer the question.
"About the past. About…how things could have been different."
The brown Unicorn nodded his head. "I understand, everypony does at some point. When I was young I wanted to be an athlete, you know. Maybe a runner."
Celestia smiled, "Really? I can see you as an athlete, Secretariat. Now, what were you saying?"
"Ah, yes. The chalkboard you requested has been placed outside your chambers. I added a fresh pack of chalk, just in case."
"Excellent, thank you. If there's nothing else, I need to go prepare my plans for the afternoon."
"That is all, Princess, and I hope the afternoon with Princess Luna goes well."
"How did you know?" Celestia asked as she got up from her throne, slightly confused.
"I'm your secretary, Princess." Secretariat said as he followed Celestia down the hall, "It's my job to know things."
"Yes, but that doesn't always include my personal plans. Maybe you should have been a race horse."
"Princess!" He exclaimed, stopping in his tracks.
"Kidding!" She said joyfully as she walked out of the room. "Jeez, can't a Princess make a joke these days?"
Seeing nopony else around, she started a happy trot back to her chambers. Halfway there she realized she had forgotten something, and turned around. As she neared her destination she slowed to her usual, more royal, walk. Turning the last corner, she continued towards the large, dark blue set of double doors. Just as she was about the light her horn, she was stopped but the lone guardspony, blocking the doors with his spear. "I'm sorry, nopony is to disturb the Princess." She stopped, with some surprise, and turned to him.
"I'm a Princess. Let me in."
"I"m sorry, Princess, official royal orders."
"I'm her sister."
"I am only doing my duty, Princess."
Celestia inspected her regalia, wings, and horn in a quizzical fashion. "Did I mention I'm Princess Celestia?" After a moment of hesitation, the guardspony moved his spear out of the way. "Thank you." Using her magic, she cracked one of the doors open and stuck her head in. "Hello? Luna? I realized I never told you whe-"
She stopped.
There, sprawled out on a large midnight blue bed, was her sister, fast asleep. She looked perfectly at peace; her sparkling mane splayed out across the sheets, a single hoof hanging off the edge, her mouth slightly open giving a light snore. It was something she hadn't seen in a long time. "Awwww, wook at her, so cute. Wonder what she's dreaming about?"
Not wanting to risk waking her up, she backed up and closed the door. Turning around she was reminded of the guardspony, whom she had forgotten about, looking at her. Clearing her throat, she said, "Yes, well, when she is… ready, tell her we will be meeting in my chambers. She will understand."
"For the speaking lessons this afternoon, of course Your Highness," he replied.
"Yes," Celestia said with a sigh. "Our personal and private meeting."
"Just doing my duty, Princess Celestia."
She narrowed her eyes a little and looked at him for moment. "As you were." With that, she made her way down the hall and back towards her chambers.
A few hours later, Celestia had everything ready. After trying a few different set ups, she had decided to go with the casual approach, mirroring the general purpose of the lesson itself. She was ready, she was a pony with a plan. She was Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia, Bringer of the Sun and benevolent ruler of Equestria. And she would teacher her sister how to speak properly in the modern age.
"Luna should be here soon," she thought out loud to nopony in particular. "Best go over everything one last time. Chalk board and chalk? Check! Fluffy royal cushions? Check! Snacks? Check!" Just as she was grabbing a hay fry, there as a knock on the door.
"Celestia? It is I, Luna. I was told we were meeting here?"
"Just a moment!" Celestia said, grabbing one last item in her magic as she walked towards the door. Opening the double doors, she greeted her sister with a warm smile. "Good afternoon, Luna! Please, come in!" The Night Princess looked at the smal sign her sister was levitating.
"What's this?" She asked, pointing at it with a forehoof. It read "DO NOT DISTURB. DOING PRINCESS THINGS."
"Oh, just a little sign I made to make sure nopony disturbs us." She answered as she hung it on the doorknob. "Have a seat, I laid out some cushions for you."
"Thank thee, sister," Luna said as she got comfortable in the rather large pile. "Shall we begin?"
"Of course!" She replied enthusiastically, stepping in front of the chalk board. "Snack?" She asked, gesturing to the bowl of hay fries.
"Thank thee, but I must decline."
"Oh come on, I know you love these things." Celestia teased, taking one for herself.
"True that. Alright, I will have a few," she said, magically moving the bowl closer to her. "So, what is first, Tia?"
"Glad you asked. The Royal Canterlot Voice; we don't use it anymore."
"I was able to guess as much," Luna said as she munched on a hay fry. "For what reason?"
"Well for one thing I got tired of yelling all the time." The Solar Princess said in a matter-of-fact tone. "But mainly because there stopped being a need for it. If somepony's going to listen to what you have to say, it doesn't matter how loud you say it." Luna thought about this for a moment.
"Thou hath grown wiser, dear sister. But how am I to make sure I am heard?"
"Thank you," she said with a smile. "That's the question, isn't it? To be honest ponies should be inclined to listen to you anyway, being a Princess and all. Just try not to pull rank too often." She turned and looked at her sister. "Oh, you might want to talk to your guradspony about that, actually. He wouldn't let me into your room earlier."
"Really?" Luna asked with some surprise. "I shall inquire him about it. But don't mind Stoic Disposition, I'm sure he was just following orders."
"Right. Well, the best answer I can give you is that you must give ponies a reason to listen. What that is and how to do so, is something you must discover on your own," she said in a tone that was friendly, but also had a certain "listen to what I'm saying 'cus I mean it" quality to it.
"I understand, thank you, Celestia."
"There's no need to be so formal, Lu." Celestia said, a small smile forming on her lips.
"But you hath been-"
"I know," she cut in, the smile growing wider. "Which brings me to my next point." She lifted up a piece of chalk, and started writing on the board. "You know I'm only formal with you when I need to be."
"Then why do thou keep saying-"
"I'm getting there! As I was saying, I imagine it seems I have been nothing but formal." She turned to let Luna see what she had written. On the left were the words "Thou", "Thee", "Thy", "Thine", and "Ye". On the right were the words "You", "Your", and "Yours".
Luna gave her sister a sardonic glance. "I am familiar with the formal and informal pronouns, Tia." She did not respond. "Wherefore art thou smiling like that?" Celestia, who's smile now stretched ear to ear, wasn't looking at Luna, but the bowl next to her. The empty bowl.
"Gotcha!"
Luna followed her sisters gaze, and realized she had eaten the entire bowl of hay fries by herself, and rather quickly too. "I must have been hungrier than I thought!" She said defensively, ears flattening a little. "Thou spoke the truth, I do adore them."
"I'm just teasing, Lu. I can be the same way, you commented on my appetite this morning." Luna was still looking at the bowl with a bit of a sad look in her eyes. "You want some more, don't you?" Celestia asked in a flat tone.
"That would be much appreciated, sister." Levitating the bag of hay fries from behind her bed, Celestia poured what was left into the bowl. "Thank thee." Luna said, happily grabbing another fry. "As I said, Tia, I am familiar with the different pronouns."
"I know you are," Celestia said with a nod. "One could say that's part of the problem."
"How so?"
"There is no 'informal' anymore." She stated blankly.
Luna stared blankly at her sister, "Come again?"
"Rather, what you know as the 'formal', is now used for both."
"I still do not quite understand."
"Okayokayokayokay, " Celestia said, turning to the chalk board. "Take these," she circled the words on the left, "And forget about them!" She scratched out the long outdated words furiously, breaking the perfectly good chalk. She stood there smiling at her sister, hoping she would understand.
"So… the informal is used no longer, and the formal is used in its stead"
"Exactly!"
"If this is so, how is it determined when one is being kindly or serious, or discern the formality of what is being said?" Luna asked.
"A very good question," Celestia responded as she cocked her head in thought. "Through context, enunciation, implied meaning, tone, gestures, and body language," she said after a few moments.
"Well that seems to be rather complicated. Why didst things change so much?" Luna asked, sounding more sad than curious. Celestia let out a light sigh.
"I don't know," she said, putting down the broken piece of chalk and turning to face Luna. "You know what, forget what I said earlier; be formal. At least, pretend to be. Get used to saying "you" and such all the time, then work on being more informal."
"I, I believe I understand," Luna said as she nodded her head. "However, I still do not quite grasp the reason.
"Luna," Celestia said in a warm voice, "I know this is a lot to take in. But things are… different now. It's not just how you speak, but how you behave. I understand what happened on Nightmare Night, and I only want to-"
"Can, can we please not talk about that?" Luna said suddenly. Her sister stood there, confused and surprised.
"I, I thought you had a good time at the end? That you were okay with it and allowed it to continue?" She asked, concerned. "That you had fun."
"That mayst be true, and I did," Luna said. "But that does not mean I like it. And thou dost no understand." She rose to her hooves, moving the bowl of hay fries to the side. "I believe I have had enough for the eve. Thank thee, nay, thank you, sister." Then she was gone, leaving the room quiet, the sign knocked of the doorknob, and Celestia to wondering what went wrong.