Twilight smirked to herself as her laptop downloaded and sorted through the truly obscene amount of surveillance footage of her local counterpart. While it did so, Night Light asked, "So, what exactly is it that you want? Are you part of Nightfall's League?"
"Oh, that would be so convenient for you, wouldn't it?" Twilight asked mockingly. "I'm sure you'd love to just file me away with the big, bad, 'blargh, me so evil' crowd. Well... keep wondering, because where I'm sitting, you and your Mr. Johnsons have been gathering too much data as it is."
She raised an eyebrow as numerous pictures of her double singing to herself in the bathtub. At least, it looked like singing until Twilight realized that her counterpart's hooves weren't above the water line. "Way... way too much. Drek, man, she's your daughter!"
"... You found the bathtub pictures, didn't you?" Twilight could faintly hear the sound of Celestia's voice coming from the other end of the line, followed by Night Light again. "The princess says, 'No. Please. Don't delete those. We are willing to listen to your demands, just don't destroy them forever.' What? No, your highness, there's nothing strange about the way I'm emphasizing those words in particular. And I'm certainly not just saying that because of your inability to detect sarcasm."
Again, Twilight faintly heard Celestia's voice, and though she couldn't make out the words, the alicorn certainly sounded relieved.
"Now then, I hope you understand my position on the matter," Night Light said after that. "So, what should we call you? You know, to differentiate you from all the others?"
Twilight actually hesitated for a moment, trying to figure out what just happened. Still, she couldn't help but grin a bit as she selected that batch of images and tapped the 'Delete' key with her hoof. "How about I just use my alias from back home? Skyelight."
"Skylight?"
"Yeah, but with an 'E' after the 'Y'. See, that's what I do over there. I break into the dark, shadowy places that ponies like you don't want the herd to know about, and I expose them to the light of day."
"So you're a professional troublemaker, then?"
"And proud of it," Skyelight replied. "You think you run a secret organization. BUTTS would barely be an afterthought back where I'm from. Megacorps rule the world like the dragons that run at least half of them. They take whatever they want and don't care who gets stepped on along the way. Mr. Johnsons like you and my dad, you bow and scrape to the powers-that-be like a pack of mangy diamond dogs because you think it makes you something more than just another scrap of food for the beast.
"That's why ponies like me and my chummers exist. We run in the shadows cast by the megacorp towers, but we don't get lost in them. We know what you know... that secrets have power. Unlike you, we feel we have a duty to diminish that power.
"We're nopony, and we're everpony. We're nowhere, and we're everywhere. All by myself, I was able to jander right into your home base and hack your most secure databases. Soon, everypony in Equestria will know exactly who you are and what you've done, and no matter how hard you look for me, you will never find--"
Before she could finish, the door to the janitor's closet that Skyelight was holed up in opened. She looked up to see Agent Coltson and Wall Breaker standing in the doorway with pleased looks on their faces.
As casually as she could, she looked at the stallions and said, "Hey. 'Sup?"
Truth, Dare, or Drink
by CrowMagnon
Seafoam lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling. "So mom was like, 'You're on drugs!' And I tell her, 'No, I'm not on drugs, I was just thinking. Can you get me a Pepsi?' And she's like, 'No! You're on drugs!' When all I wanted was a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give one to me!"
The others carefully watched the capricorn, who at least had seemed to reach a mellower stage of her inebriation. GL asked, "That's rough. So, what's a Pepsi?"
"What's a what?"
"A... a Pepsi. That thing you wanted."
Seafoam blinked up at GL. "Never heard of it. Is that a kind of cake?"
Princess Aurora giggled from her perch atop Rollypolly. "It's like having Pinkie Pike here."
Meanwhile, eyeing the bottle of booze like it was going to jump at her, Captain Sparkle picked a card off of the 'Friends & Family' stack. "Let's see... 'Outside of your family or significant other, who would you say is your best friend?'" She let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't more embarrassing. "Well, that's a tough one. My friends are all really special to me in their own way. I suppose if I had to pick one as the one I'm closest to, though... I'd have to say Fluttershy, even though she's away on tour a lot these days."
Zapapple blinked. "On... tour? Fluttershy?"
"As in, Butterscotch's double?" Dusk asked.
"I've gotta admit, I'm surprised, too," GL added. "My Fluttershy's a great team-mate, but she's got extreme stage fright off-duty. I guess if she got over that, though, I could picture her singing in front of ponies."
Captain shook her head and laughed to herself. "Oh, she's not a singer. I mean, she does a little as part of the performance, but she and her husband are motivational speakers. Heh, if you think I'm neurotic now, you should've met me before I made friends with Fluttershy and Iron Will."
In the silence that followed, Captain looked around and could practically hear the stares of ponies and capricorn gaping at her.
Abstract Twi was the one who finally broke the silence. To her partner, she said, "Faith, I think there's something funny about that drink. It's making me hear crazy things."
"That's just the multiverse for you," Faith replied.
Captain looked around. "Oh, come on, it can't be that weird. What, is it the interspecies thing? Iron Will's a great husband and friend, and--"
"Oh, I'm sure. I think it's the idea of Fluttershy going around telling ponies how to be more confident that has us confused," GL interjected. While the others nodded. "I mean, that's like picturing her as a... I don't know, a criminal lawyer or something."
Meanwhile, in universe DL-6...
Judge Ivory Scroll adjusted her glasses with a hoof as she read the papers in front of her. "Now then, we will be proceeding in the case of Ponyville vs. Spike the dragon. Is the prosecution ready?"
Applejack chewed on the piece of straw in her mouth for a moment before spitting it away and looking straight at the defendant. "Ah am, yer honor. Sorry, Spike, but it don't matter how much Ah lahk ya." Rearing up on her hind legs, she pointed an accusatory hoof at the baby dragon. "Y'all're gonna have ta pay yer debt ta society!"
Ivory Scroll looked toward the defense bench. "And is the defense... ready?" Tilting her head, she asked, "Defendant... where is your attorney?"
Spike sighed and looked over to his side, where a yellow-and-pink ball quivered in terror under the table. "I am so doomed. Your honor, I don't suppose you could declare a mistrial?"
"Denied. The case of Ponyville vs. Spike will begin on schedule," Ivory Scroll replied, banging her hoof against the table in front of her, eliciting a squeak from under the defense bench.
Ivory Scroll glared over her glasses at the blue, spikey-maned pegasus who had shouted. "Mr. Wright, that was your final warning. Bailiff, get him out of here!"
Captain shrugged and smiled. "Well, I won't go too deep into it, but she hit a low point early in her life, and learning to see past her problems and move beyond them has defined her ever since. Being able to share that is why she's the Element of Laughter in my world."
GL replied, "Okay, when we get some time after the game, you're going to have to tell me what these Element thingies are. As for my best friend... well, that's a tough one for me, too. I've got the Super Friends, and I'm good friends with some of my fellow Green Lanterns, like Tomar Re and my mentor, Sinestro."
As she named each one, GL created a holographic image of a bipedal alien dressed in uniforms similar to her own. One vaguely resembled a sort of bird. The second was smooth-skinned with pointy ears, neatly trimmed facial hair, and a stern expression. Then she created a third hologram that was similar to Sinestro, but with a more powerful build, rounded ears, and a cocky grin. With a snicker, she pointed a hoof at him. "That one's Hal Jordan. We aren't really close, but he's fun to be around when Sinestro isn't giving him a hard time about taking the Corps more seriously."
GL left the holograms up a bit longer while she closed her eyes in thought. "I guess if we go based on who I spend the most time with, though... well, Spike's more like a little brother, so I suppose it would be Trixie Gold." Adding another image, this time of Trixie in full costume, along with her parasprite-shaped robot companion. "She's the only other member of the Super Friends who operates out of Canterlot. The rest all live in Ponyville or Bridle Bay. Heh, she and Spike are constantly snarking at each other because she's kind of a showpony, but I can tell she really tries to be a true hero under the bluster."
"She does, doesn't she?" Faith replied, smirking at his partner. For some reason, Abstract Twi just groaned and facehooved. Turning to the others, the mirror-winged alicorn mused, "As for me, I suppose I would say Celestia and Luna."
From atop Rollypolly, the shrunken Aurora asked, "Really? From our earlier talks, I would have thought your relationship with them to be too strained to consider them friends."
Faith waved it off. "Pssh, water under the bridge. I'm sure that you know how we can fall into long arguments with ponies who are close to us."
"Maybe, but most of us don't revel in it like you do," Abstract Twi retorted. "My best friend is definitely Spike. He's not just a little brother to me... he's the one creature that I've always been able to depend on to have my back. That... that means more than I can even begin to describe."
Faith put a hoof on his partner's shoulder as her head began to droop. At the same time, Twicora smiled reassuringly and told her, "There is no need to hang your head. Some of us understand very clearly without it needing to be said. There are many zebras who did not wish their knowledge and culture to be shared with a pony. I spent much of my fillyhood quite alone...-ly."
A groan erupted from around the table at the painfully flubbed rhyme, and Twicora's cheeks flushed. Still, she insisted, "To do that as an example is what I meant. My rhyming is usually perfectly cromulent. Still, zebra children would pounce upon every little fault, and it stung like a wound packed with salt. When Zecora took me on as her student, though, she showed me trust and faith to the end. That is why she will always be not just my mentor, but my truest friend."
"Nerrrrrrrrd!"
Twicora glared over at Zapapple, who shrugged and replied, "Sorry, but yer teacher is yer best friend, so Ah have ta call you a nerd. It's the law!" When Twicora rolled her eyes, Zapapple turned to the others. "As fer me, aside from AJ, mah best friends are Flim an' Flam. Those two've been real swell since they turned over a new leaf, an' Flam's done right bah AJ."
Captain blinked in shock. "Wait, what? Flim and Flam? Those two? But they're a couple of greedy swindlers! In my world, if Applejack hadn't outsmarted them, they would have turned the Apple family into indentured labor on their own farm!"
"Now, now, let's not jump to conclusions," Faith replied. "Remember our reaction to your Fluttershy? The version of them that my Twilight and I know are reformed. Maybe a little overly fond of gambling, still, but their creativity and talents have been turned to good purpose." Turning to Zapapple, he grinned and said, "I'm more pleasantly surprised that, even with your background and impression of unicorns, you're so willing to befriend a couple." A thought occurred to him, and he asked, "They are unicorns, aren't they?"
"Pfft, course not!" Zapapple replied. "Lahk Ah'd let a unicorn touch mah sister? No way, no how! Flim an' Flam are good, hard-workin' ponies who got screwed over bah unicorn business magnates. Got most o' their inventions stolen from 'em with sleazy contract an' patent shenanigans, but they still made the Super Easy Cider Squeezy 6000. Sure, they got ta thinkin' that dog-eat-dog was the only way to succeed in the world, but it's lahk Ah was tellin' Flim the other day while he was chargin' up the Cider Squeezy. Some ponies are jus' rotten apples, but ya can't let them spoil you."
There was a moment of awkward silence before Dusk asked, "Charging... how, exactly?"
"Magic, o' course! How else're ya supposed ta fuel a machine that runs on magic?"
Seafoam was the only one who had the courage to follow up by asking, "Magic from his... horn?"
Zapapple snorted. "Well he sure doesn't blow it out his plothole!"
Even the drunk capricorn seemed at a loss for how to respond to that as she joined the purple ponies in sharing gobsmacked looks with each other. Rollypolly swiveled his eyestalk around the table and asked, "I am con-fused. Are those not the primary attributes of unicorns?"
Zapapple's eyes widened as the dalek spoke, staring at him as if had just slapped her. After a few seconds, her eyes 'derped' at odd angles, and she gasped with abject horror as a terrible truth dawned on her. "No... no! NO! Say it ain't so! IT CAN'T BE! No! No, not mah sister! Mah own flesh an' blood!"
"But you're adopted," Abstract Twi reflexively pointed out, though it went unnoticed amidst the farmer's freak-out.
Zapapple brought her front hooves up to her temples, clutching her head as she wailed, "Mah family... mah perfect, lovin' family... polluted! Stained..."
She then looked up at the others, her eyes wide and distraught as she turned to her counterparts with a tense, desperate grimace of a smile. "At least... at least Apple Bloom's still okay, right? She's a good kid! She wouldn't have nothin' ta do with no unicorns! She's got good friends... Scootaloo... Sweetie B--" A hitch in her voice cut her off, and she gasped in horror. "Oh, Luna, no! Apple Bloom... mah darlin' little sister... her friend... Scootaloo is a secret unicorn!"
Zapapple sat there, frozen with a look of disgust and shock on her face until the pinging of tiny hooves on metal as Aurora started laughing and stomping her front hooves against Rollypolly. The farmer started trembling and biting on her lower lip to hold it in, but quickly lost the battle as she flopped onto her back and started rolling around in uncontrollable laughter.
"Ha! Oh, sweet Luna! Oh, fer the love of li'l apples! The looks on-- Hahaha, the looks on yer faces! Ya actually thought... AHAHAHAHA! Oh, mah stars an' cider, Ah can't believe ya actually bought it!"
Another groan rose up from the group, though it was followed by embarassed chuckles as they accepted that they'd been had. When her laughter eventually ebbed enough for her to take a few deep breaths, Zapapple dragged herself back up to a sitting position and wiped mirthful tears from her eyes. "Ha... hoo-whee, that was good fun. Ah'll be takin' mah Gropey now!"
Seafoam sputtered drunkenly and waved her hooves toward Rollypolly. "Hey now, not in front of the... 'kid!' Besides... I'm not drunk enough for that yet."
"It's a very badly named award for stage actors," Captain explained to the capricorn before muttering under her breath, "And the judging system is completely rigged."
Seafoam replied with an 'ahhhhh' of comprehension before resting her head on Captain's shoulder. "You're so smart..."
While Captain started turning red again, Princess Aurora giggled. "So, what's your real answer, Zapapple?"
The farmer adjusted her hat. "That was mah real answer. They may have horns, but they made some amazin' machines, an' got cheated out of 'em by Canterlot snobs. Maybe it took a while 'fore Ah was really willin' to accept 'em, but by helpin' 'em get back on their hooves without stoopin' ta that level, Ah lahk ta think we're stickin' it to those hoity-toity elites."
"Living well is the best revenge. Or at least in the top three," Aurora replied sagely. "As for my best friend, like Abstract Twilight, I have a faithful dragon companion. My dear Spyconious has been with me since I was a filly, and though he's grown rather too large to frolick with as we did when we were young, or even to comfortably fit anywhere in Canterlot proper, he remains my dearest, most steadfast friend."
The near-perpetual smile on her tiny face grew wistful as Aurora reminisced, "When my brother was first consumed with madness, I was paralyzed. It was Spyconious who took the Elements of Harmony and safeguarded them from Morning Star until the situation grew grave enough that I realized there was no other choice but to use them and banish my brother into the sun. And even though it wasn't until Cadance came into my life that my heart truly began to heal, Spyconious dutifully supported me for centuries and ensured that I continued to give Equestria the leadership it needed."
Aurora laughed. "Some say... well, said at the time, that the reason he's grown so large is because he considers the entirety of Equestria to be his personal hoard. I've always believed that he simply needed to grow to accommodate the size of his heart."
A chorus of "D'awww," rose up around the table, including from the dalek Aurora was perched upon. As it faded, Dusk said, "Well, I hope that's the sort of relationship Spines and I have to look forward to. She's a little flighty, especially when my friend Elusive is around, but she's always so eager to help, and she's fantastic around the library. I do feel kind of bad that she gets to feeling like she's not very useful, sometimes, but I honestly can't imagine my life without her. How about you, Seafoam?"
In response, the capricorn princess glomped and nuzzled him. "Mmmm, my best friend out of all my friends? That'd have to be... Princess Aurora!" Wobbling a bit while leaning against the stallion, she pointed to the tiny alicorn and proclaimed, "You're my best friend ever for bringing that beautiful bottle into my life!"
With a laugh, Twicora said, "Though you may feel that way after drinking such an amount, I don't think that answer will count."
"Yes! Yes it does," replied a nervous Dusk as he tried to nudge Seafoam away without getting her angry. "Your turn, Seafoam! You answered, so you have to let go of me and draw a card!" When the capricorn snickered and her horns began to glow with magic, though, Dusk groaned. "Oh, right... you can do that."
Plucking up a card with her magic, Seafoam didn't even pay much attention to which one she was drawing from until she held it in front of her face. "Describe a time you have either had an unrequited crush, or another has had one toward you. Both if applicable."
Glancing to either side, the drunk capricorn laughed as she saw that both Captain and Dusk were blushing like a couple of extra-ripe plums. "Ooh, some ponies have stories!" she teased before rolling her head back in thought. "Lessee, crushes... Ahh... well... I'd say our cute little sparklepire here's hot for my plot."
"What?! N-no I'm not!"
Seafoam gave Dusk a leer that was as lascivious as it was horrifying. "I never said I was talking about you. So you're admitting you are a vampony!"
Dusk blinked several times, his mouth moving but no sound beyond a strangled gurgle came out as the gears in his brain all jammed. Deciding to spare the stallion much further embarrassment and confusion, Captain diverted attention to herself by blurting out, "I had both happen to me!"
Fortunately, this had the intended effect of prompting everyone to look straight at her. Unfortunately, this had the intended effect of prompting everyone to look straight at her. Clearing her throat, the blushing Ranger tapped her front hooves together. "Um... one of my Rangers... his name's Pokey Pierce. He's... apparently had a massive crush on me since I moved to Ponyville. My it's-comp-- I mean, my friend Cloud Kicker keeps telling me to give him a chance... and I'd even consider it, because he's really cute, a good Ranger, and he's only a few years younger than me. I just can't, because he's my subordinate. It would be an abuse of authority."
Zapapple narrowed her eyes at Captain, raising an eyebrow as she asked, "What's an 'itscomp?' An' what does it have ta do with the Ponyville town chariot?"
Captain stomped her hoof against the edge of the table, shaking some of the cards loose. While Aurora scooped them up with her magic, Captain snapped, "Don't call her that! She's a good pony!"
Zapapple just smirked back and asked, "Oh-ho, Ah see. Y'all're a Kicker-licker, huh?"
Both Seafoam and GL leaned away from Captain as the Ranger began grinding her teeth together, the air around her beginning to shimmer with a heat haze. Seeing the effect the farmer's words were having, Twicora leaned toward Faith and whispered, "Sorry, but I don't understand. What does the term 'town chariot' mean in this land?"
Just as softly, Faith whispered back, "It means everypony's had a ride."
Twicora gave Faith an odd look until comprehension finally dawned. "Ohhh. I can see why her honor would be something you would wish to defend. But earlier, why didn't you say you had a marefriend?"
"Because she isn't my marefriend," Captain snapped, directing a harsher tone toward her zebra-taught double than intended. "We aren't dating... she's my it's-complicated."
As she got the decks sorted again, Aurora asked, "And what exactly is an it's-complicated?"
Captain bit back the response she initially intended, Aurora's resemblance to Princess Celestia (albeit momentarily scaled-down) encouraging her to calm herself before she spoke. "Exactly what it sounds like, Princess. It's complicated... and it doesn't have anything to do with the question. Your turn, GL."
"Ah-ah, you didn't finish answering the question," Abstract Twi pointed out before GL could speak. "You only told us about the pony who has a crush on you. Who's the one you had a crush on?"
Realizing that she was right, Captain winced. "Stupid, traitorous speech center of the brain," she muttered to herself. Once again, she warily eyeballed the 'Dare' stack and the liquor bottle, weighing their threat against anything she might want to keep secret. Then she glared at Zapapple again. "Can I say without certain ponies being jackasses about it?"
The farmer grinned. "Nope! But Ah'm just bustin' yer chops, Captain. Hay, Ah may've never bucked that particular tree mahself, but that pegasus gave me some good pointers before mah honeymoon. Big Mac an' Ah didn't get out of bed fer two whole days."
This admission caused Captain's glare to soften a bit as she blushed again, but she still kept a wary eye on the farmer. "Well... alright, but if you want to talk smack, do it at me, not ponies who aren't even in this universe," she cautioned before telling the others, "Anyway, my crush wasn't anything serious. You all remember the other filly I was with when I got my cutie mark? Well, she was taken on as Princess Celestia's personal student, but we stayed good friends throughout our childhood. She was always so pretty and glamorous and confident, I sort of developed an innocent filly crush on her."
While she spoke, Abstract Twi started to frown as a horrible, disgusting thought squirmed its way into her mind. And though it was patently impossible, as far as she was concerned, it wouldn't go away. "No... no, don't say it... don't say it..." she murmured under her breath.
"And what is her name, if I might ask?" Faith asked, making his partner's blood run cold as she realized that he might have had a similar impossible thought.
Captain grinned a little in GL's direction. "Well, she's no time traveler... I've met her family."
Abstract Twi began shaking her head. "No, no, no..."
"Trixie Lulamoon," Captain said, getting startled by the sudden wail of despair erupting from Abstract Twi.
"Not... one... word," Abstract Twi growled at Faith, who simply waggled his eyebrows at her.
"So... I take it you know her in your world?" Captain asked, only for Abstract Twi to groan and rest her forehead on the table.
GL looked between Captain, Zapapple and Abstract Twi before chuckling nervously. "Alright, then. Well, I certainly won't be able to match the drama level Captain brought to the table," she said, gently teasing the Ranger. "When I was Celestia's student, I just didn't have any interest in romance, so Flash is pretty much the only pony I've been seriously attracted to that way. I did think that Trixie Gold had a thing for me a while back, though. She seemed like she was always looking for excuses to spend time together on- or off-duty, and every so often when her guard's down, she can get a little more physically affectionate than you'd expect from a pony who's just a friend.
"So I asked her about it, figuring I'd try to let her down gently, and as soon as I brought up my suspicions, she got this really queasy look on her face." GL shook her head. "At first I thought she was just afraid of rejection... then she threw up."
Seafoam asked, "She spewed on you?"
GL laughed. "All over my hooves. So... yeah, that pretty much evaporated the whole theory that she was crushing on me. I guess she's just a big fan of me and Flash in the future, because she was acting the same way around him. And that's all I've got for me, so what about you two?"
Abstract Twi raised a hoof while her face remained firmly planted against the tabletop. "I'll take a drink. A double if Faith starts going on about what a ladies stallion he thinks he is."
With an offended scoff, Faith asked, "That I think I am? Excuse me, but it isn't my fault I catch mares looking at me."
Abstract Twi lifted her head and retorted, "You think Doubt was attracted to you! The psycho who hated you enough to try to destroy the world."
"Love and Hate go hoof-in-hoof, remember?" As an aside to the rest of the group, he added, "Literally. Lovely couple. I've been helping them look into adoption agencies."
Twicora shook her head in bemused wonder at Faith's comment, then said to Aurora, "I'll take a drink too, as long as you're pouring. I don't have any story that wouldn't be boring."
"Make that one fer me, too," Zapapple replied. "Rate things are goin', Ah won't get a taste otherwise!"
"Me too," Dusk added. "Sorry, I know I'm skipping a turn, but I don't have any stories worth telling."
"Butterscotch, you can't do this!"
The yellow pegasus merely continued to work on the potion he'd gotten from Zecoro; it needed to be stirred just right or else it would spoil. The bubbling caldron let out hisses and pops as he moved the wooden spoon through the viscous liquid. Dusk and Harmony were struggling against the tight ropes Butterscotch had bound them with, trying desperately to escape the terrible place they found themselves in.
Actually, if one wanted to be truthful, it wasn't that terrible at all. In fact, it was rather nice; Butterscotch had rented a room at the Four Seasons for this little kidnapping. They each had their own bed (Butterscotch claiming it wouldn't be right for him and Dusk to share a bed until after they were married), and the balcony gave them an impressive view of Neighagra Falls. The staff had been very nice, serving them all breakfast in bed, providing complimentary plush bathrobes and even giving them each a massage (how that one mare had managed to work out all the kinks in Dusk's back, despite the fact that he was tied up, he never knew). All and all it was a lovely vacation... save for the fact that they had been kidnapped by a quiet pegasus who wanted to use a potion to get Dusk to fall in love with him.
"I wish these ropes weren't enchanted," Harmony said, struggling to break free.
"I wish I'd taken up Butterscotch's offer to go to the bathroom before we began all this," Dusk said, regretting that second cup of coffee he'd had (which was odd... Dusk never drank two cups of coffee at home...)
Butterscotch smiled to himself as he ladled out some of the potion. "Don't worry Dusk, now that I've added the roofies my magic brew is ready. One sip and you and I can be together forev-"
Dusk shuddered and mentally thanked whatever cosmic powers ensured that Red Gala Apple had shown up to stop Butterscotch and break him out of his amnesia with the swiftness of a hackneyed plot device... and not the sort of 'plot device' the pegasus had been planning to use on him if he'd had a chance to use the potion.
As he pulled himself out of his thoughts, Dusk looked around and saw everypony staring at him with their mouths hanging open. Seafoam put a surprisingly gentle and comforting foreleg around him as she said, "Dude... that's messed up."
Dusk's eyes flew open, and he went pale. "Oh gods... I just flashbacked out loud, didn't I?" He received stunned nods in reply, and Aurora magically summoned more glasses, pouring a splash of Starshine for everypony, not just the ones who had asked for them. As one, and without exception, everypony (and capricorn) downed their shot.
Granted, it took Aurora longer than the others to finish at her shrunken size, but she gulped down the liquor and set the glass down with her magic. "Well, that was... supremely unsettling."
"No kidding," Captain replied, rolling the tiny bit of Starshine around in her mouth before hesitantly swallowing. Despite her fears of its potency, to her it tasted refreshing and invigorating, like the sensation of working through a problem and finding the last piece of data needed to make it work without fail. It was almost enough to get her to stop picturing her cheerful pegasus friend running some sort of drugged-up lesbian harem.
After a few seconds more, Aurora said comfortingly, "Well, perhaps this will make you feel a little better. I can't say that I have many stories of individual ponies to tell. Before banishing my brother, I was always something of a bookworm, more interested in my studies and improving the machinery of government to deal with romance. Then when I sat upon the throne alone, I had even less time to myself for such pursuits. Likewise, my little ponies... well, I've already told you how frustrating it can be to maintain a respectable image.
"And despite my best efforts, there are still ponies who make me reconsider writing freedom of the press into the constitution. Particularly when Morning Star was returned to me by Sunny and her friends. My... enthusiasm at having him back at my side was 'creatively' re-interpreted by certain ponies with too much time on their hooves."
With a tiny grimace, Aurora's horn glowed as she summoned a comic book out of thin air, where it landed on the center of the table. The others leaned in to get a better look. On the cover was a depiction of Princess Aurora, though they quickly noticed certain artistic licenses taken. Her eyes and smile were altered slightly to give her a sultry look, and the eye was naturally drawn toward her rump, which was drawn noticably rounder and more inviting than reality.
As if the drawing wasn't enough to convey what sort of material the comic contained, the title was even less subtle. Abstract Twi read aloud, "The Adventures of Princess Bro-con and Prince... Horny Star?!"
Captain, Abstract Twi and Dusk all simultaneously let out a flat "What?" while Seafoam started snickering uncontrollably. Using her magic to open the comic, snickers erupted into full-blown guffaws as the Twilights were shown an inside cover page of 'Princess Bro-con' swooning over her brother, who most of them instantly recognized as an alicorn version of Shining Armor drawn to be even more masculine and sexually appealing.
GL facehooved as they flipped through the pages. "Oof, we have things like this in my world, too. We call them 'Tiwhinny Bibles'. Superheroes are prime fodder for them... though I've got to admit, most of the ones about me aren't this well-drawn."
Blinking in surprise, Twicora asked, "That's a surprise. You've read these sort of comics with your own eyes?"
GL shrugged. "The Pink Pie-er collects them. I don't know why, and I don't ask why. Frankly, I'm probably happier not knowing."
"Well, that makes it my turn to draw," Princess Aurora said, hopping off of Rollypolly and removing the cushion from his head. With a flash of magic, she was soon back to her original size and sat back down on the floor. "Now then, we haven't done much with..." She trailed off as she reached for a card, however, then looked upward. "Hold on... did the rest of you feel that?"
"Feel what?" Captain asked, suddenly on edge, but secretly grateful for an excuse to tear her attention away from the comic.
Aurora tilted her head. "I could have sworn I felt a slight gravitational shift. Almost like a ripple spreading across a pond after a stone has been thrown into it, or a tremor before an--"
Without warning, the ceiling imploded above them as something purple punched straight through it and slammed into the floor with enough force to create a crater, shockwaves of kinetic force exploding from the point of impact and sending everypony flying until they smacked into the opposite wall.
The air was choked with dust, and the interior lights had all been knocked out by the explosion, but a shaft of sunlight shone in to illuminate the room as battered ponies (and one very drunk capricorn) slowly dragged themselves back up to their hooves. Being the sturdiest of them, Aurora was the first to stand, and she began checking on the others to ensure that they were alright. Once she was sure that none of them had any injuries worse than a few cracked bones, she looked toward the crater and gasped when she saw...
... The bottle of Starshine sitting in the beam of light. Already, the sunbeams were causing the dream-liquor to evaporate into nothingness. "No, you were supposed to last all night at least!" she wailed.
Then she looked further and saw that there was one more pony in the room than there had been before. It was another Twilight, but one that none of them had met before. A unicorn, she looked just like GL or Captain except for a silvery ornament on her left ear, and the stylish black coat which covered most of her body, a purple starburst cutie mark sewn onto each flank of the suit.
Also unlike either of the other two unicorns, this one didn't have so much as a scratch on her despite being at ground zero of the impact. In fact, she was already standing and dusting herself off, and as soon as she saw Princess Aurora's silhouette through the dust, the unfamiliar mare braced herself and surrounded her horn with a strange purple energy. "Don't come any closer, 'Celestia'! I'm not even started yet," she threatened.
Whatever it was, it was no type of magic that Princess Aurora was familiar with, but the alicorn could instantly tell that this Twilight had a great deal of it. Speaking as soothingly as possible, Aurora replied, "I'm not Celestia, my little pony, and I would really rather not have to fight, if possible." Using her magic to clear the dust away so that the newcomer could see her better, she smiled and introduced herself. "My name is Princess Aurora. And you are...?"
The new Twilight's eyes widened in shock at the sight of an alicorn version of herself. After a couple of seconds of registering this, however, she narrowed her eyes and growled, "I'm Twilight Sparkle, Madame President of the Equestrian Herd. And I am tired of these sick mind-games!"
And with that, Princess Aurora suddenly found herself with a miniature black hole being thrown at her face.