“Ahhh, boy howdy, that was some crazy dream,” Applejack yawned as she stretched in her bed. Rolling her shoulders, she popped the tightness from her joints before hopping out of bed and trotting out the door of her room. It was just past dawn and there was work to be done. Big Macintosh was already downstairs in the kitchen and had breakfast on the way; wheat flapjacks by the smell of it!
“Well, someone’s up bright an’ early!” Applejack exclaimed as she yawned loudly.
“Eeeyup!” The large red pony grinned, flipping the flat cakes onto a plate before setting them at the kitchen table.
“So Ah heard ya say somethin’ about a dream of yours,” he inquired in his distinctive deep drawl.
“Oh yeah, it was weird as all get out!” Applejack began as she crammed half a flapjack in her mouth. Big Mac waited for a few moments as she chewed and finally swallowed it with a sheepish look.
“Heh, took more’n mah fair share that time!”
“Ya mean about every time?” Big Mac gave her a knowing look.
“Oh, ta heck with you-URP!” the orange pony burped loudly before blushing.
“’Scuse me!”
“You were sayin’?” Big Mac twirled his hoof beckoningly.
“Oh, right! Ah dreamed them ol’ Flim Flam brothers kept buggin’ us about wantin’ to buy up Sweet Apple Acres over and over until we gave in an’ sold tha place to’em,” Applejack gently hit the table top with her hoof.
“But that ain’t gonna happen on mah watch! Why, if Granny Smith were still around, what’d she think if we gave inta somethin’ like that? Anyways…crazy-sounding dream, eh?”
TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP!!
Applejack and Big Mac looked up at the nearly frantic knocking on the front door of the house only to see two unfortunately familiar silhouettes outlined in the window.
“Maybe not so crazy as you think, AJ,” Big Mac snorted and pushed his plate away. He couldn’t finish his breakfast at a time like this, but he did accompany his sister to the door. She yanked the door open with an exasperated sigh.
“Ugh, you two again?!” Sure enough, Flim and Flam stood there on the front porch bouncing slightly on their hooves as if gearing themselves up to sing. But Applejack raised a hoof in warning.
“Ah swear if ya sing another dern song, Ah’ll make ya eat your own hats!”
“Oh, no, no, no dear Applejack,” said Flim, the one with a moustache.
“We’re merely here to proposition you!”
“Uhhh…Ah’m not looking ta do any of that this time o’ mornin’, and definitely not with you two,” Applejack made a disgusted face as Big Mac facehoofed.
“I think that moustache is pulling blood from my brother’s brain,” Flam broke in with an overly large smile.
“What he meant to say was a business proposition! I say, a deal of sorts!”
“This number again?” the orange earth pony sighed.
“Ya know, for near on tha past month, ya’ll’ve been practically loiterin’ round here and pesterin’ me about wanting to buy this farm. It’s gotten to the point where Ah’m getting’ dreams about you two; an’ it ain’t the purdy kind!”
“Oh, you sure there’s not a few good ones in there?” Flim waggled his eyebrows but was met by an expression on Applejack’s face that would rival a Cockatrice in petrifaction potential. Flim was bumped to the side by a still widely grinning Flam.
“We’ve merely been asking you so much because the primary deed-holder of the property died last month, and”- Flam was halted by Applejack’s snorting muzzle thrust right into his own.
“If Ah EVER catch ya talkin’ so lightly about mah Granny Smith like that, you’re gonna experience the extreme opposite o’ country hospitality!” The earth pony normally had a long fuse, but ever since their Granny had passed on, she had been particularly edgy. And these brothers constantly on her case weren’t helping the situation!
“Come on AJ, don’t stoop lower’n ya hafta,” Big Mac nudged her into the house before standing in front of the brothers, easily dwarfing the two unicorns as he filled a sizeable piece of the doorway.
“Now look here you two. We know why ya’ll keep botherin’ us, and it’s cuz ya wanna control all tha apple business round these parts with your “new an’ improved” machines, right?” Big Mac “air quoted” with his hooves, something fairly difficult for a pony his size to do without sitting down first.
“Precisely!” the brothers answered in unison before Flam stepped forward.
“So, now that we have an understanding, and since our new machines can easily out-strip your own efforts as well as the fact that the one loud voice against our progress is now silent,” Flam sweated a bit as Applejack peeped her head over Big Mac’s shoulders and gave the unicorn the evil eye.
“Er, resting peacefully is what I meant to say…do we take it you’re ready to sign?”
With a green flash, Flam produced a Deed of Sale title transfer and quill and hovered them in front of Big Mac.
“Don’t you dare, Macintosh!” Applejack hissed; he knew his sister only used his name like that when she was really riled and he wasn’t about to risk his own safety even by hesitating.
“Heh, well, uh…seems cookin’ breakfast has cramped up mah writin’ hoof,” Big Mac waved it for emphasis.
“Speakin’ of which, them flapjacks are callin’ mah name.”
“Oh, do you suppose we could have some?” Flim asked with a grin, his brother nodding enthusiastically.
“Perhaps we can better discuss this deal over those wonderful-smelling cakes of yours!”
“…Nnnope!”
Big Mac slammed the door shut, nearly impaling both Flim and Flam’s horns in the wood before about-facing and trotting back to his food with a smug grin in his sister’s direction.
“What, ya didn’t think Ah’d skip breakfast ta sign over tha farm, AJ?”
Applejack swatted him with her hat and laughed.
“For a minute there, Ah didn’t know what ta think, but ya sure showed’em what fer!”
She looked up at a creak on the staircase to see Applebloom wandering down to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily with her hoof.
“What in tarnation was that yellin’ and slammin’ about?” Applebloom said with a yawn as Applejack gave her a stern look from under the brim of her hat.
“What? You say that all tha time, AJ!”
“That’s cuz Ah’m not a lil’ filly anymore, unlike yerself,” she poked Applebloom on the nose.
“So until ya get ta be mah age, Ah don’t wanna hear any cursin’ from ya, understand?”
“But…” Applebloom thought for a moment.
“Ya’ll always be older’n me!” she declared, to which AJ cracked a grin.
“Well then you’ll always have ta control that language while Ah’m around,” she patted her younger sister on the head in a loving way before nudging her to the table.
“Now let’s get that foul mouth o’ yours to work on somethin’ productive; breakfast!”
“Oooh, what is it?” the smaller pony practically hopped to the table.
“Flapjacks!” she beamed and dug in.
Big Mac nodded approvingly as they all munched on their food in relative silence for a moment, just enjoying the peace of the morning.
“Sooo…” Applebloom spoke up again.
“What was all that fuss about?”
Applejack looked up at her sister then to her brother who nodded after a moment of thought.
“Well, yer part o’ this family an Ah suppose ya shouldn’t be outta tha loop anymore, sugarcube.” Applebloom looked up intently, breakfast forgotten at Applejack’s serious change in tone.
“Ever since Granny passed on, them FlimFlam Brothers have been after us for the title of tha farm so they can control all the business around Ponyville.”
“But that ain’t fair!” Applebloom squeaked; even at a young age, she somehow knew that a monopoly like that was just wrong.
“What about them shops in town?”
Applejack sighed heavily and took her hat off. She never did that unless things were really bad…
“Sugarcube…haven’t ya wondered why ya haven’t seen Twilight or Rarity lately?”
“Hmm, come ta think of it…Ah haven’t seen ‘em in weeks! Ya don’t think them brothers had somethin’ ta do with it, do ya?!” she gasped in fright.
“Heh, nothin’ so bad as that. They ain’t ethical, but they ain’t killers neither. Naw, them brothers used their money and bought up or started businesses that competed with Twi and Rarity and then undercut ‘em on prices.”
At Applebloom’s confused look, Big Mac spoke up.
“The brothers put their prices so low Twilight and Rarity couldn’t compete and had to close up shop.”
“B-but…where’d they go?!” Applebloom looked to be on the verge of tears.
“They’re ok, sugarcube. They both moved back to Canterlot an’ are doin’ pretty well there. Ah miss’em somethin’ fierce though,” Applejack sniffled a bit before wiping her face with her hoof.
“What about Pinkie Pie?” Applebloom spoke up after a moment.
“Ah still see her around town! She looks as happy as ever!”
“Heh, that’s just Pinkie bein’ Pinkie. Plus, Ah don’t think them brothers can run her out just yet cuz we supply a lot of Pinkie’s raw goods for her cakes; that’s another reason we can’t let’em buy us out. An’ Ah ain’t gonna see mah friend run outta town by them two if it’s tha last thing Ah do!”
She pounded the table again, much harder this time.
“…What about Dash and Fluttershy?” the youngest pony said after some thought.
“How could them brothers ruin their business?”
Applejack laughed loudly at that for a bit.
“Heh, them brothers can huff an puff an jig their way through lotsa business deals, but Ah doubt even they could control tha weather round here,” Applejack chuckled at the absurdity of the thought.
“Although Ah bet if they could, they would…as fer Fluttershy…well…Ah don’t think she’s really ever been in tha business o’ anythin’ else besides takin’ care o’ her critters. Tha only way fer them FlimFlam Brothers to run her off would be ta burn tha Everfree Forest down er somethin’…which Ah seriously doubt they got tha guts ta do! Besides, ya know what happens with Fluttershy when her animals get hurt.” Applejack gave her sister a one-eyed squint.
“F-Flutterrage,” Applebloom shuddered.
“An Tha Stare!” She popped her eyes open wide and made an “ooooooh” sound with her mouth before giggling.
“Heck, Ah’m one o’ her best friends an’ Ah wouldn’t wanna be on tha wrong side o’ that!” Applejack laughed again before returning to the matter at hand.
“So…now ya know what’s goin on, Applebloom an’ why we can’t sell this farm ta them brothers no matter what they throw at us!”
TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP!
“…ya gotta be kiddin’ me…” AJ jerked up and looked at the door wide-eyed.
“Even another crazy song an’ dance?” Big Mac drawled with a glare at the door.
“Ah don’t think they ever left.”
“How very perceptive of you!” One of the brothers’ called out through the mail slot.
“This is getting’ ridiculous!” Applejack hissed to Big Mac who nodded in reply.
“They’re listenin’ in on us everywhere!”
“Ah know where they probably won’t think ta listen to ya’ll at!” Applebloom whispered.
“Tha old hay barn out back! They’d have ta jump tha back fence to get there an spy on us!”
“Applebloom, yor a lil genius,” Applejack patted her on the back.
“Ah gotta be sure ta give mah regards ta Ms Cherilee for makin’ ya so smart.”
“Hey, Ah was smart like that waaaay before Ah got in her class,” Applebloom smiled smugly and headed towards the back door.
“Welp, Ah’m gonna head back upstairs an’ make tha beds up!” Big Mac practically shouted, making his sisters wince.
“Play along an’ we’ll throw’em off,” he whispered with a wink.
“Aha, gotcha. Yep, Ah think Ah’ll just go an’ sleep these here delicious flapjacks off,” Applejack trotted towards the backdoor before adding:
“Hoo-wee, Ah ate’em all!”
She chuckled at the cry of despair from the front porch.
“Yep, as fer me, Ah’m gonna go dust tha ceiling in mah room er somethin’ else borin’ like that!” Applebloom hollered as Big Mac and Applejack face-hoofed.
“Remind me ta teach ya tha art o’ subtlety one o’ these days, sugarcube,” Applejack winced as they headed out the backdoor and quickly made for the faded red barn. With a quick peek around to make sure Flim and Flam hadn’t followed them, Applejack shut the door behind them, closing them up in the building. It was dark and dusty but at least it was private.
“Ok, so now what?” Applebloom asked of her brother and sister as she collapsed into a pile of hay with a giggle.
“Hey, we eat that, Applebloom!” her older sister scolded her before pulling her out of the pile and plunking her down by a support beam.
“Let’s get serious here. Big Mac, what are we gonna do if’n they keep harassin’ us like this?”
“Well, Ah can think of a few things, but they’ll probably end in me goin’ to the pokey for a while,” Big Mac said with a sly grin.
-------------------------------------
“I say dear brother of mine,” Flam said as he peeked through the mail slot.
“I don’t see those country bumpkins anywhere at all!”
“They said something about going upstairs to make beds and dust their ceilings,” Flim replied, trying to peep through the window blinds.
“I heard that, but do you hear any sounds of bed-making or ceiling dusting in there?” Flam asked, looking back up at his brother.
“What exactly does ceiling dusting sound like, Flim?”
“I don’t have any idea, but I’m almost certain it makes more noise than what I’m hearing in there!”
Flam leaned in and opened the mail slot, his ear pricked for a few moments before nodding.
“Yes yes, I see, or rather, I don’t hear; haha! So, where do you suppose they went?”
“Backyard, I’ll warrant,” Flim sniffed and headed around the side of the house to the fence gate.
“That’s trespassing, though!” Flam observed as his brother unlatched the gate with a green flash of his horn.
“And highly unethical!”
“Not like that’s ever stopped us before,” Flim grinned.
“Heh-heh, true, true, true!” Flam returned the smile with a curt nod and bowed to his brother.
“After you,” He nodded at the gateway.
“Oh no, no, no; beauty before age!” Flim returned the bow.
“Ha! Age before beauty! Your name is first in the company, so you go first!”
“That’s only because it sounds better than Flam-Flim; you know that!”
“Oh, I suppose,” Flam tapped his chin with his hoof for a moment before conceding and walking through the gate, Flim following right behind him and closing the gate to avoid arousing suspicion.
“So, where do you suppose they went?” Flim inquired, looking about the yard and noting the array of farming plows, rolls of fencing, and small out-buildings scattered about as well as the acres of apple trees stretching into the distance. He whistled softly through his moustache as his mind processed the apples into bits upon bits hanging from the trees.
“There’s quite a lot of places to secretly meet out here.”
“Why, just follow that pancake-loving nose of yours, dear Flim,” Flam laughed, nudging his brother with an elbow.
“I’m sure it’ll lead straight to them!”
“What am I; some sort of bloodhound?”
“More like a pancake-pooch, haha!”
“Oh alright,” Flim sniffed the air and caught a whiff of Big Mac’s cooking. He followed his nose right to the old hay barn within a few moments. Listening carefully, he could hear the voices of the Apple family in heated debate about what to do about the two brothers.
“Well, by the sound of things, they don’t seem to be willing to accept our generous offer, Flam.”
“Well then,” Flam thought for a moment before his eyes practically lit up.
“I suppose we could further persuade them.”
“Oh, how’s that?”
“Offer them a vacation they can’t refuse,” Flam grinned evilly.
“Ah yes…a very long vacation,” Flim snickered.
“And while the Apple Family is away”-
“The Flim Flam Brothers will play!”
Flam’s horn glowed green.
“You remember the spell, brother?”
“Heh, we only just learned it a few weeks ago; why wouldn’t I?” Flim replied, his own horn lighting up.
“Good bye competition!”
“Ready Flim?”
“Ready Flam!”
Their horns’ glows blossomed into a bright green flash that they fired at the barn in unison.
“Bing Bang Zam!”
----------------------------
“No Big Mac, they ain’t stooped ta anythin’ illegal yet, so neither should we,” Applejack replied, tapping her hoof on her forehead, her eyes shut tight in concentration as were Big Mac’s.
“That thought shouldn’t even be enterin’ our heads, an”-
“Hey AJ,” Applebloom tugged on her sister’s leg.
“Why’d the sun get brighter all of a sudden?”
“Oh heck, Dash is probably foolin’ with the clouds overhead again,” Applejack patted her on the head.
“No! It got bright and GREEN!” Applebloom said more urgently, looking up at the barn loft windows.
“Green eh,” she looked up as well. Sure enough, the light outside did have a slight green tinge to it.
“Big Mac…what exactly was in them flapjacks?”
“Huh?” Big Mac opened an eye.
“Nothin’ Ah don’t usually put in ‘em, why?”
“You notice anythin’…funny about tha light outside?” She squinted suspiciously at her brother who had more than once “accidentally” added a secret ingredient to his cooking to “take the edge off” as he put it.
The red pony looked up at the windows; all he saw was blue sky.
“Nnnope!”
“What?” she snapped her vision back up; the light was back to normal!
“What in tha hay…” She shrugged and looked back down at Applebloom.
“Ah swear Ah saw green light outside, AJ! Honest!”
“Yeah that’s tha weird thing…Ah thought Ah did too…ugh, it’s probably just the stress of this whole situation playin’ tricks with our heads er somethin,” she shook her head and turned back to Big Mac.
“Anyways, back to tha problem!”
“Two problems,” Mac corrected with a grim nod.
“All Ah know is at this rate, they’ll undercut us on price and production, and then we’ll have no choice but to”-
“No, Macintosh!” Applejack’s ears lowered and she pawed the earth angrily.
“You know we can’t jus’ give up without a fight for our farm! It’s our well-bein’ and if’n them brothers take it, what’ll we do then?!”
“Ah know, Ah know, but they’ve run off everyone else with their machines; even if we work our flanks off, we can’t keep up with them!” the large red pony’s head dipped a bit.
Applebloom raised her hoof in the air as if she were in Ms Cherilee’s classroom. Applejack chuckled at the sight before nodding in her direction.
“Ah say we go out an’ bust their stuff up at night; that’ll show’em!”
“No we can’t stoop to their level of back-stabbin’ dishonesty, sugarcube. Ya know that ain’t how the Apple family does things!”
“Aww AJ, ya sure we can’t just at least put holes in their tires an”- but Applejack cut her sister off with a glare.
“Ah said NO and Ah mean NO, Applebloom!” She stomped the ground in emphasis but sighed inwardly; as much as she wanted to remain honest and forthright about all this, it was getting more and more apparent that they might have to do something drastic to send a real message to Flim and Flam that they weren’t about to be harassed any further. But if it had to come to that, she wasn’t about to let her sister take the fall for it!
“Ugh this is just a real pain in the flank. Makes me wonder what Granny Smith’d do if she was still here…” she felt the tears well up before she could stop them, and the barn interior blurred in her vision as she hitched a short breath.
Big Macintosh nuzzled his sister comfortingly as Applebloom hugged her leg.
“Aww don’t you worry AJ; we’ll get it figured out an”-
He stopped talking as his ear pricked forward and he sniffed the air. He then saw the shadow move across one of the cracks in the barn wall towards the front double doors.
“AJ…someone’s out there.”
“Them brothers, ya think?” she hissed back, moving away from the door and pulling Applebloom protectively with her.
“Ah don’t think so,” the large red pony sniffed the air again.
“Don’t smell like’em and that shadow is the wrong shape…but whatever it is…it’s got us cornered in here.” He looked back at AJ, who nudged Applebloom away and hid her behind some crates before peeking back around the corner. She was a brave pony, but the brim of her hat that protruded around the crate trembled visibly all the same.
Her brother bravely pawed the ground and snorted, ready for just about anything that might come through that door. But what he heard next took even Big Mac by surprise.
“Alright!” a voice shouted from outside the building. It had a slight country twang to but not nearly as heavy as the ponies’ accents.
“I dunno who’s in there, but this is my barn, and you’re trespassing in it! I’ll give you one chance to leave before I call the cops!”
Big Mac looked back at Applejack who merely shrugged. She had no idea who it was but it certainly wasn’t the Flim Flam Brothers.
The barn door creaked open, splashing light across the floor just in front of Big Mac. What he saw stepping into the barn shocked him for a moment. It walked on two legs and stood upright, pulling the door with a single arm on its right, the left arm tucked in close to its body.
“Hello? Who’s in here?” the creature called out, taking a tentative step inside. By its actions, Big Mac could tell its eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark building yet. He might never get a better chance…
“What in tarnation is that?!” Applejack suddenly cried as she got a glimpse of the strange tall creature. That cry snapped Big Mac into action. Mac was a normally peaceful stallion, but when it came to protecting his family, he became a no-nonsense sort of pony. He charged at the blinded intruder!
“Get back AJ!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Big Mac saw the creature raise its right arm in defense, but he merely ducked his head under the arm and hit him squarely in the chest with his heavy forehead, flinging the creature back against the latched left barn door. The air left the thing’s body in a wheezing cry upon impact, leaving it stunned and sitting up against the door, blinking in the darkness in confusion.
Within an instant, Big Mac was upon it, his teeth bared and muzzle snorting threateningly right in its face.
“What are ya doin’ in our barn, huh?!”
“Y-your barn?” the creature coughed, continuing to blink heavily.
“This isn’t your barn…ugh…” The strange intruder then slipped to the ground, revealing the sling on its left arm.
“Con-sarnit Macintosh!” Applejack ran forward as she too spotted the creature’s injured arm.
“Why’d ya do that? Can’t ya see it was already hurt?!” The creature’s eyes rolled up in its head and fluttered shut as she looked down at it.
Applebloom ran forward and sniffed the fallen being tentatively; it was nothing like the young pony had ever smelled before. It smelled almost too clean, like it really shouldn’t have been in a barn in the first place.
“Big Mac…did ya kill ‘im?”
The red pony gasped. He was tough, but had a big heart and never really meant to hurt him that bad!
“Ah-Ah didn’t hit ‘im that hard! He’s not really dead is he!?”
Applejack leaned over the biped and sniffed him, noticing the rise and fall of his chest. His lips were moving as well, mouthing a word…her name.
How in tarnation does he know my name?!
“Naw, he’s still breathin, luckily.” She turned back to her brother.
“You’re lucky ya didn’t do him in, ya big idjit!” she scowled before turning back towards the fallen creature. She took her hat off and fanned its face gently while speaking softly to it.
“Come on there…come on, yer alright,” she smiled as she saw him groan and his eyes start to open. He stared back at her for a groggy moment before his eyes snapped wide open and he pushed himself up to a sitting position and back up against the wall, almost as if he were frightened of her, despite him being over twice her size.
“Now, now, calm down; we ain’t gonna hurtcha!” Applejack smiled comfortingly, reflexively patting him on the hand. But he pulled it back and examined it in disbelief before staring back at Applejack for a very long moment.
“A-are you really here?” came the most unexpected question out of his mouth that Applejack could have thought of.
“Uh, yep, Ah’m really here; so are they,” she gestured back at her brother and sister. Big Mac scuffed the ground, avoiding his gaze while Applebloom gave him a small wave of her hoof.
“The bigger questions are: why are you here an…well, what are ya?”
“You can call me V; I’m a human,” he replied, shaking his head again, still trying to grasp the situation. For some reason, he thought he would be a bit more panicky in circumstances like this. I mean, AJ was practically his role model and there she was talking to him! But he supposed that Big Mac running him over like that worked like a massive slap to the face, deadening his reaction to it all.
“I’m here cause this is my barn.”
“There ya go about that again,” Applejack shook her head.
“Ya sure ya didn’t hit yer noggin too bad when mah brother whacked ya like that?”
“Heh, sorry pardner,” the red pony said awkwardly, his ears drooped.
“Jus’ lookin’ out fer mah family and when ya walked through that there door Ah just…Ah shoulda looked before Ah leaped…sorry…”
“I suppose I can’t fault you for wanting to protect your family, Big Mac,” V nodded and rubbed his injured arm. That impact against the door certainly didn’t help matters in that regard.
Applejack looked at him closely again.
Yet again, he knew one of their names without us ever knowing him!
“So, why do ya keep sayin’ this here is your barn? Don’tcha know where ya are, V?” Applejack asked, still convinced he must be lost and out of sorts in his mind.
While she was sitting there with V, Big Mac wandered past them and approached the barn door, making sure nothing else was out there waiting to jump them or something. The door had been blown shut by the wind, and as Mac nudged the door open, he froze in his tracks.
“Can we keep’im?” Applebloom squeaked as she smiled up at her sister and this human who called himself V. She wasn’t even sure what a human was or why he had such a weird name, but he seemed like a pretty nice feller.
“He can stay out here in tha barn an everythin’!”
“Heh, Ah don’t think he’d be too fond of that, sugarcube,” Applejack chuckled and looked back at V, who was shaking his head and smiling. She then looked back at her brother who had been standing nearly motionless in the doorway for some time now.
“Big Mac, what’s your deal eh?” She nudged his back leg with a hoof, but all she got in reply was some very quiet murmurs.
Grumbling, the orange earth pony trotted up and nudged her brother more forcefully.
“Hey? What’s eatin ya now?” Again, she only got some more stuttering mumbles in response. With an exasperated growl, she pushed her way past Big Mac and looked outside…and froze. After a moment, her hat fell from her hoof and hit the ground in silence.
“A-a-a-a-a J-j-j-aaaaaayyy…” Big Mac trailed off in shock, his chin hanging nearly halfway to his hyperventilating chest; a sight that would have been almost laughable for a stallion of his size in any other situation.
“Ah-Ah see it…b-but Ah ain’t believin’ it!” Applejack declared. She looked back at V with eyes as wide as green apples and spoke very slowly.
“V…w-why do ya keep sayin’ we’re in your barn?”
---------------------
Flim and Flam stared at the barn in shock…except it was an insult to even call the ancient wrecked hulk that had emerged from the bright green flash a barn anymore!
“F-Flim?” Flam said after he got his jaw working again.
“Y-yes Flam?”
“…what exactly was that spell supposed to do again?” Flam asked as he approached the burned out building on shaky hooves, his eyes wider than his brother had ever seen.
“It was supposed to teleport those country bumpkins away so we could have our way with their property…” Flim replied slowly as he grasped the barn door handle to pull it open…but it promptly fell off its rusty hinges to reveal the inside of the barn…there was nothing there but rotting hay and pieces of broken and burned wood. It looked like it hadn’t been entered in years!
“I er…” Flam searched for the right words, absolutely confused as to what had just happened.
“I think we did it a little too well…”
“Yes, so it seems,” Flim dropped the broken door handle he was still holding in his hoof.
“Methinks we should leave before we’re implicated here.”
“…good idea, brother!” Flam cried as they high-tailed it for the backyard gate.
As they fled out through it and down the road, they failed to notice the pink-maned pony hopping up the street; she watched in amusement as they galloped down the road in the opposite direction in a near-panic.
“Hmm…those guys were running like they needed to take care of a bad cupcake they ate or something…,” Pinkie Pie pondered as she made her way towards the front of the farm house; she’d been originally looking to ask Applejack to help her bake a few things at Sugarcube Corner, but now her curiosity had been piqued.
“Maybe AJ knows what’s goin’ on!” she quipped as she hopped up the front walk, cheerfully whistling a tune.
Meanwhile, back at the ruined barn, a piece of faded lumber that might have once been a bright white fell from above the door. Carved into it were words and a date:
CONSTRUCTED AND EST - TX - 1971
----------------------
“Big Mac…” the orange earth pony said as she beheld the yard full of brown grass and thorn bushes; the unfamilar heat beat down on her and the un-Ponyville-like dirty air assaulted her nostrils.
“Ah don’t think we’re in Equestria anymore…”
----------------------------
Small note: writing as the Flim Flam Brothers is a pain in the flank! @.@
As always, feedback is appreciated!