Chapter Two: Friendship Through Vengeance

Some friendships are made by nature, some by contract, some by interest, and some by souls.

- Jeremy Taylor

It was a dark and stormy night. Prince Blueblood scoffed at the rain outside. "Servant!"

Nirvana, an exasperated rainbow-maned, green Earth Pony, came into the room wearing a nightcap. It was late, and he felt the sting of being misfortunate enough to be out of bed at the same time as the Prince. He'd had a long day, and he really just wanted to go to bed. "Yes Prince Blueblood?"

"With respect your majesty, you hired me to make sure your gardens were, and I quote, 'fitting for a prince'. I've just barely been keeping them watered enough to survive on my own. We need this rain."

"It is making me depressed." The prince said, and he waved Nirvana off. "Go and make the pegasus stop."

"Sir, how do you propose I even get in touch with them? I'm an earth pony. You can send a message with your horn, but me?"

Blueblood gasped with shock. "But then I'd have to go outside. I'd get…" He shuddered. "…wet."

Nirvana's eye twitched. It was a very nasty twitch he was developing. He tried to control his temper. He'd been in Prince Blueblood's service longer then anypony because of his zen-like state of mind. But he was having a really bad day – no, a bad week – and the twitch was getting worse. "Sir, I'll say it again; your garden has not been watered since winter. I will not stop this rain."

"Maybe you don't understand." Prince Blueblood began to talk as if Nirvana was a foal. "I." He pointed to himself. "Am." He pointed to himself again, and Nirvana rolled his eyes. "Prince." He tried to make a crown-like impression with his hooves.

"You." He pointed to Nirvana. "Servant." Nirvana grated, as Prince Blueblood not only reminded him that he'd been working for the prince for years and he still hadn't bothered remembering his name, but made a face vaguely resembling a mule to pantomime being a servant. A mule with lazy eyes, large foreteeth, and a tongue sticking out of its head. It really suited Blueblood.

"I order." He motioned to his mouth. "You do." Prince Blueblood seemed to be pantomiming gardening, but Nirvana was an actual gardener, so he couldn't help but laugh at Blueblood's phantom movements.

Blueblood sighed as his servant forgot his place again. "This is the tenth time you've laughed in my presence."

"You've kept track of that, but you can't remember my name?" Nirvana asked incredulously.

"I have no room for servants who do not know their place." Blueblood sniffed. "I've taken the liberty of hiring a professional gardener. One who knows her place. Look, she's outside right now tending the gardens."

Nirvana gasped and ran to the window. Outside, he saw a shivering, wet mare, desperately clipping the hedges through the rain.

Throughout the years, Nirvana prided himself on being unflappably calm and polite. Ten years he'd been in service of Prince Blueblood, and still he soldiered on, making his gardens one of the greatest gardens in all of Equestria. Even though he could admit, Blueblood was the first pony to ever grate on his nerves, he still had his own hoof-crafted paradise that he worked in and meditated in everyday. It was worth dealing with an oaf like blueblood for his own personal paradise.

This was it. This was the final straw, the last wanton act of cruelty. Nirvana could not stand for Blueblood any longer.

"You know what?" He asked, all tiredness in him gone as he felt the tiredness the poor mare outside must be feeling. "I quit. And I'm going to go outside, and tell her to quit too. And then, I'm going to find Snowflake, and tell her that you want the rain to pour even harder! AND THEN I AM GOING TO CALL BETTER GARDENS MAGAZINE, AND TELL THEM NEVER TO FEATURE YOUR GARDEN AGAIN, BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS IT ONCE WAS, AND YOU'LL FEEL THE STING OF IT LIKE A PAIR OF HOOFS COMING DOWN ON YOUR HINDQUARTERS!"

Nirvana stormed out of the room in a gallop. "AND THEN, CELESTIA WILLING, I'M GOING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"

Blueblood blinked as he watched him leave. "Servant?" He called. "This is no time for your peasant humor. Can't you see this rain is making me upset?" He heard the door slam. "Servant?" He shrugged. "Ah, maybe he was just going to stop this rain." Blueblood politely guffawed. "Good one servant. Your peasant humor does you credit."

The Great And Powerful Trixie emerged from the shadows. "Yes. Although, I go by The Great And Powerful Trixie now."

Blueblood sniffed. "Rather a mouthful. I'm going to call security. They shall be here in an instant."

"The Great And Powerful Trixie thinks you'll find they've all taken a paid leave of absence." The Great And Powerful Trixie chuckled. "Seriously Blue, how much did you pay them? The Great And Powerful Trixie only had what money a country doctor had on him. But The Great And Powerful Trixie is not here to hurt you."

"Of course not." Blueblood laughed. "I'm a prince. Nopony can hurt me. Don't come any closer though, your mane is wet, and address me as Blueblood, not Blue."

The Great And Powerful Trixie shook her head, and water droplets fell onto the room. "Blueblood… have you ever wondered why you didn't have any friends?"

"Nopony is worthy to be friends with Prince Blueblood." The Prince said haughtily.

"Not true. All ponies have friends. Everypony has a special connection with those friends before they even meet, a connection as sure as the connection between a pony and her one true love." She looked out of the window. "Oh, look at the adorable couple. Love at first sight."

Prince Blueblood looked out the window, to see his gardener kissing the new mare he'd hired. "He's supposed to be stopping the rain." He turned to The Great And Powerful Trixie. "Since you're here, you stop the rain."

She sighed, and reminded herself that every step taken with him, was a step towards her revenge on HER. "The Great And Powerful Trixie is not some beast of burden Blueblood. Besides, your gardener insulted you. Would you not like to see him suffer for it?"

Prince Blueblood looked out the window. "Hold on, Lulamoon. Don't make it stop raining. I've had a thought; it should stay raining. That servant deserves it for speaking to Prince Blueblood in such a way."

She smiled, and this time it was genuine. "Remember when we were both in Canterlot's school for gifted unicorns? The Great And Powerful Trixie was paired with you for homework, and while we were supposed to be studying summoning spells, you brashly decided to try your hoof at a firework spell."

"Summoning fireworks looked better then summoning a meager cup of water." Prince Blueblood said. "It was a spell worthy of a prince. Don't tell me you're still upset about that whole 'rocketed out the window' thing. I thought you weren't here to hurt me."

She shook her head. "No, don't worry, The Great And Powerful Trixie is not upset, and she had never told anypony about your mistake either."

"The Great And Powerful Trixie did not realize then, but the damage wrought to her brain was greater than a simple concussion. Her mind was host to a grave illness."

Prince Blueblood hurriedly back-trotted to the other side of the room. "Is it contagious?"

"You already have been infected, in a sense." The Great And Powerful Trixie sighed, and sat down. "The Great And Powerful Trixie is incapable of making friends now. Thus, while some may act friendly towards The Great And Powerful Trixie, the connection that should be between them that would improve each pony is not. This connection is shared with The Great And Powerful Trixie's friends, and thus by extension they have no friends either, though they are not neccesarily sociopathic."

Blueblood glared at her. "Are you suggesting that a prince such as I could possibly be friends with a commoner like yourself?"

"I'll admit, it's a bit of a stretch." The Great And Powerful Trixie mumbled. "But then, I don't remember you being nearly as conceited in the academy. Maybe spending time without friends has worsened us both."

"What makes you think I could possibly be friends with a common unicorn?" Blueblood sneered. "You aren't even from a unicorn line. Your parents were earth ponies. How could I be friends with you?"

The Great And Powerful Trixie smirked. "You remember my name. After all these years, The Great And Powerful Trixie has been trying to make everypony forget that name, and you remember it, despite not knowing the names of your servants."

The Great And Powerful Trixie smirked. "Yes… because even if we can't remember it through all of the long, lonely, friendless years, I believe that we were once friends."

Blueblood seemed to be at a loss for words. "Are you suggesting that I am…" Blueblood struggled to say something.

"The Great And Powerful Trixie would prefer to suggest that you get an attitude adjustment."

Prince Blueblood boiled. Before he could say anything, The Great And Powerful Trixie finished. "And The Great And Powerful Trixie means that literally. There is a way we can get our friendship back."

Prince Blueblood rubbed his chin. "Yes. We'll go straight to Auntie Celestia and have her magic us back." He pointed to Trixie. "As the new best friend of the most eligible Prince in Canterlot, you will have the spare room, and I will send one of the servants who don't talk back to buy you the finest dress."

The Great And Powerful Trixie put on a sad face. "Oh, well, I was going to suggest we go and use the Elements of Harmony for ourselves. You are a prince after all; you don't need to go crying to your aunt when you're in trouble, and you deserve the very best friendship. But, I suppose your way it good too."

She worked to hide the smile on her face as she turned around slowly. Prince Blueblood's face split into a slow grin, not bothering to hide.

"Do tell." The Great And Powerful Trixie said, letting the faintest of smiles in on the edge of her lips.

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Cherry Jubilee sipped her tea as she stood on the balcony of her mansion in Dodge Juncture. It overlooked the town, if you could even call it a town. She looked down on it with contempt. She was an entrepreneur of the highest degree. She'd easily wiped out every competitor in the, admittedly small, competition that was inherent in the cherry market.

Her two guests sat behind her, eating brunch at a table set especially for royalty. The Great And Powerful Trixie didn't care much for it, but Prince Blueblood was at ease, nibbling lightly on the finest alfalfa salad, (lightly garnished with cherries of course) prepared especially for the occasion by her chef Dejour. He wouldn't eat anything that wasn't prepared by one of Canterlot's best chefs, so it was quite fortunate that she'd already kidnapped one, and convinced him to stay with a few well placed compliments.

Jubilee was a collector of rare ponies. She always wanted a friend, and she was so sure that if it was her friend he or she would be an interesting one. So she would regularly trick, coerce, blackmail, or otherwise force the most interesting ponies she could find into being 'friends' with her.

She once even lucked across one of the elements of harmony! The element of truth landed right in front of her face when she went to attend the annual rodeo Canterlot held, for some of its immigrant ponies. She managed to rig the whole game so Applejack wouldn't win. It was a close thing; Applejack caught onto her during the last few events, and managed to fend her off with a few surprises of her own, in addition to her raw athletic skill.

But in the end, she got her. She had her pony so thoroughly ensnared, that she managed to make the element of honesty lie to her friends! And then, she managed to sweeten the deal, and collect the whole set of elements!

But before she could try to make friends with any of them, they'd left. Nopony had ever left one of her collections before. But apparently, none of those ponies had been Applejack or Rarity before. While they left the others to convince Applejack to come back with a heartwarming speech about friendship, Rarity and that pink menace of hers came back into town and blackmailed her!

Nopony had ever blackmailed her before. Nopony had ever left her collection before.

But the two of them had managed to outmaneuver her, and Cherry Jubilee was not a pony to be outmaneuvered so easily.

She had Bunsen Burn (he was a trouble-maker too; she had to regularly give him threatening photographs of his family in Phillydelphia to ensure his loyalty) work with Dejour to create a fantastic machine capable of making the best cider ever concocted. She sent the machine to ponyville, accompanied by the Flim and Flam brothers, and the perfect plan to drive Applejack's family out of their cherished business.

Unfortunately, while the brothers had the showmanship and magic necessary to pull off the job, they lacked the brainpower. Halfway through, their spines suddenly disappeared, and they decided to go off plan.

Her plan to drive Rarity out of business was moderately more successful. Not that it worked of course… but at least it put Rainbow Dash in the hospital. After that, Cherry Jubilee began to receive threatening clothe-written letters (they arrived by dragon flame, and though she could never prove it, she felt that the cross stitch the words were composed of were very distinct). She was forced to bide her time, and do nothing but instruct her Ponyville distributors to charge outrageous prices for the elements of harmony should they want any of her cherries.

It was slightly less than the glorious battle of wits she'd envisioned with the pair of ponies.

It seemed that two heads were better than one, for they had managed to stay ahead of her. But now she had… 'friends' of her own.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is not as sure as with Blueblood if you're our friend." The Great And Powerful Trixie admitted, putting down her food. "These are just educated guesses of The Great and Powerful Trixie. But you didn't seem to have many friends when we first met, and The Great and Powerful Trixie thought…"

"You thought correctly." Jubilee nodded. "I've never had friends. I surround myself with a varied selection of ponies, so I should have that special bond with somepony by now, but it never happened. And I will admit, when you came to town, I was most interested in adding you to my collection, but the Flim and Flam brothers just had more flair. I regret passing you by now. I'm sure if we'd come to associate then, things would have been much more… interesting."

The Great and Powerful Trixie blushed with Jubilee's carefully applied flattery. Prince Blueblood just wiped a fleck of dressing off of his chin, and said; "I want Dejour as my personal chef."

"It's a little early in our friendship to be making demands like that." The Great and Powerful Trixie hissed at him.

"So, how do you plan on fixing this little problem?" Jubilee asked, referring more to the problem of The Great and Powerful Trixie's sociopathy than to Blueblood's lack of etiquette. "I assume you wouldn't be gathering 'friends' unless you had a plan."

The Great and Powerful Trixie leaned forward. "The Great and Powerful Trixie's special talent is dreaming. Ordinarily, this would be quite the useless power, but as a unicorn, The Great and Powerful Trixie has mastered spells associated with my power. The Great and Powerful Trixie's plan, is to go inside Twilight's dreams, and steal the Elements of Harmony."

Jubilee sat down and folded her hooves. "But the Elements of Harmony aren't inside dreams, are they?"

"No." The Great and Powerful Trixie shook her head. "The Elements of Harmony are real, but useless baubles to anypony who doesn't have that connection. We will extract the concept of friendship from Twilight Sparkle's mind. The Great and Powerful Trixie has done similar things before. And once we steal her friendship, then we will have both the Elements of Harmony, and our right minds back."

Jubilee's smile widened. "But how would this effect Twilight's friends? If she loses her ability to keep her bond with them, would they be… brain damaged by association too?"

The Great and Powerful Trixie hesitated. "Well they could be. But if you don't want that…"

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Question Mark raised his head out of his jello tub. The lid rested on his head like an oriental hat, and he found he had to smile at the annoying ponies that now graced his humble home.

"You realize that if you didn't have Jubilee behind you, I'd drop you all in the pit."

Cherry Jubilee and The Great and Powerful Trixie were suspended above a pit he'd built in front of his house. He'd put the rope traps underneath the cheery welcome mat. The house itself was almost a castle. Very well fortified, with a garden of thick thorny bushes. The one who called himself Prince Blueblood was frozen in front of his growling guard-boar.

"Fortunately, your story checks out." Question Mark continued. "I used to be friends with Jubilee, until one day we suddenly weren't. And that was before I discovered that Jellies could be used to block mental intrusion." He wriggled his wings happily in the goo.

"I have just one question." The Pegasus glared at the unicorn and the earth pony. "I'm all for going into Twilight Sparkle's mind. As the personal protégé of the princess tyrant, she must have information on the Colgate Conspiracy, the Time Lord Invasion, and the secret cabinet-making factories underneath ponyville. But how do I know this isn't a ploy to get inside my mind?"

"Your mind will be protected. By the jelly." Jubilee said, trying to have grace under fire while hanging upside down over a pit. "We'll be invading another pony's mind. This pony will have to be put to sleep before Trixie casts her spell, and since you'll be awake at the time, nopony will be able to get inside your mind. Especially with the jelly."

Question Mark's smile broadened. "Finally, a chance to expose Celestia for the tyrant she is… I'm in. But how are you going to put the apprentice to sleep?"

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Berry Punch had no friends. She much preferred the company of wine or cider to any pony, save her family. So she was confused as to why she was sitting down with four strange ponies. Ah well. One of them was buying her drinks, so it probably didn't matter.

"Now I may be a bit tipsy, but I know that this is impossible." She told the four of them.

"Oh… well yes of course, sorry for saying so your majesty." Blueblood was the one buying her drinks. "It's just… you want us to go inside Twilight Sparkle's head… so Trixie won't be a sociopath any more… so we can all be friends." She scratched her head. "I guess it makes a sort of sense… but wouldn't it be easier just to ask Twilight first?"

"Ask her!" Question Mark yelped in outrage from his jelly tub. "You'd think this is your first day trying to crack open a conspiracy! Don't ever ask a pony whether she's involved in something nefarious. She'll answer 'no' no matter what the real answer is."

Berry Punch thought this over. For a stallion who rolled around in a tub of jelly, he made a surprising amount of sense. She giggled. "Oops, sorry. I guess I didn't think about that."

"That's alright." Mark grumbled. "It was a rookie mistake. Just don't do it again."

"Berry, darling, I notice your cutie mark." Jubilee gestured. "And I wonder… how much do you know about adult beverages?"

"I. Know. Everything." She squealed, delighted that somepony else shared her interests. "I know which wine would be the best with barley, oats, alfalfa, or hay, I know nearly every different brand, I know which ones you soak in your ice cream, and which ones…"

"Do you know which ones are the best at putting a pony to sleep?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked.

Berry Punch giggled. "Oh yeah. The good stuff. I know all about the good stuff."

Soon she would realize they were going to make her share 'the good stuff' and decided that this was the worst. Plan. Ever.

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The Great and Powerful Trixie sat outside a Ponyville café with a young pegasus. She was yellow, with a blue mane, done up to make her look adorable. The younger Pegasus looked up at The Great and Powerful Trixie . "I won't go through with this plan." She said.

"A minute ago, you were telling The Great and Powerful Trixie that you were excited to finally be able to have friends."

"Yes, I am." Raindrop said. "But I've lived my whole life without needing friends, I can manage the rest of it." She reached out for Trixie's hoof. "Listen, Trixie. As much as I want to be your friend, what you're doing just sounds wrong."

"Fascinating." The Great and Powerful Trixie leaned forward. "The rest of us have grown up without friendship, and only one of us thus far have had even the smallest misgivings. Why would you protest?"

"Listen, I know you grew up not caring about anypony." Raindrop said. "But… honestly Trixie, this is insane. And so are you. Who cares if you don't have a special bond with somepony? That's no reason to treat them like they don't exist. Or worse, to try and hurt them just because they do."

Raindrop held Trixie's hoofs in her own. "You're not in your right mind, and you know that for a fact Trixie. So why don't you just end this now. Go to Twilight, get yourself fixed the right way. And then, if you still feel like invading somepony else's mind, I'll be behind you all the way. Because I'll be your friend, and I'll want to make sure you don't do anything you regret. But please… go the nice route first."

The Great and Powerful Trixie was speechless for a moment. And then she glared at Raindrop. "The Great and Powerful Trixie… will not go to HER for help."

"Then let's do something else." Raindrop suggested. "We might not need the elements to cure you. I could help you with your magic show? We could –"

"No. The Great and Powerful Trixie's plan will go forward." The unicorn said with finality. "And you will join us."

"You work with the weather, correct?" The Great and Powerful Trixie pressed onward. "Ponyville's vice-weather pony, serving underneath Rainbow Dash. All that hard work you put in, making the weather neat and organized, and even managing to help Ponyville with odd jobs on the side. Celestia knows that it needs the help, with all of the property damage it goes through. You deserve the job more than that lazy spotlight-stealer. She only has the job because you're two years younger than her. You could manage the weather so much better than her."

"That's not going to work." Raindrop said. "I'm not going to invade Twilight's mind just because I have a bad boss."

"Oh, this has nothing to do with HER, Raindrop dear." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "I'm simply pointing out that you have talents. And those talents would be put to spectacular use crafting dreams instead of the weather."

The Great and Powerful Trixie smiled. "Oh, it's quite fun Raindrop. It's not all dreams of falling, or turning up for school without clothes."

The Great and Powerful Trixie soldiered on. "Some dreams can be very real. For example; do you know how you got here?"

"Oh, that's easy." Raindrop said. "We…" She froze, suddenly unsure of herself. "That is, I was walking in the park…"

"Dreams are the most useful when they're realistic." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "When you dream, you don't get a beginning, you're just there. But other than that, it feels like reality. This is all a dream, personally designed by The Great and Powerful Trixie. It's wonderfully detailed, isn't it?"

Raindrop stood up and walked around. None of the ponies made eye contact with her, which was really nothing new. But these weren't the Ponyville ponies she knew – it was less colorful, and the ponies seemed to all repeat themselves. They were just different variations of the same few ponies, the same cutie marks, the same mane styles, all just switched up like a giant mix n match game, save for the few unique ones.

"It's fascinating isn't it?" The Great and Powerful Trixie asked. "Of course, normalcy is only one of the benefits of dreaming. I'm sure an artist such as yourself, could dream up a wide range of strange structures… like this."

The pathway before her went up. And around. And still up. And still around. And then ended up right behind her.

Raindrop blinked and looked again. She ran along the path, running straight up the whole time, and ending up right where she started. "What is this?"

"A paradox." The Great and Powerful Trixie said. "Don't tell The Great and Powerful Trixie that you can do the same thing with your rain clouds."

"Go ahead. This is your dream." The Great and Powerful Trixie smirked benevolently.

Raindrop looked around, and saw Sugercube corner. She flew over to it. "I can do anything, right? Just by thinking it?"

She grabbed a corner of the building with her hooves, and started flapping her wings upward. She pulled Sugarcube Corner up, until it was just one tower on a candy coated castle.

"It's alright." The Great and Powerful Trixie repeated, with an indifferent shrug. "Now, if you were to join us, you could make elaborate mazes, you could go into the dream every day, and…"

"Yes!" The Great and Powerful Trixie exclaimed joyfully. "All you have to do is dream with us and –"

Raindrop bucked her castle. Just one kick, and it exploded with confectionary goodness. The whole castle shook and poured down on them, candy flying throughout Ponyville, to the gratefulness of every cheering pony therein. The Great and Powerful Trixie stood speechless, as a trio if truffles made themselves into shish kabob on her horn, and a giant lollipop crashed behind her.

"I'm willing to be your friend Trixie." Raindrop said. "But you can't make friends with petty vengeance."

"You stubborn –!" The Great and Powerful Trixie almost boiled over… then she seemed to collect herself. "If you would just forget about all those ponies who have done nothing for you, and think about your future friends…"

Suddenly, it started to rain. Raindrop knew this was no ordinary rain; it was coming down in buckets instead of raindrops. It was practically a giant, horizontal wave.

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She woke up suddenly. She was lying on a picnic blanket, drenched. The Great and Powerful Trixie sat across from her, and behind her, Berry Punch was sitting with a bucket of water.

The Pegasus sighed. "I'm out of here. Come and find me when you come to your senses."

The Great and Powerful Trixie watched her leave. "I thought she was one of our friends." Berry Punch said, disappointment lacing her words.

"She is." The Great and Powerful Trixie said with a smile. "Or at least she will be. Don't worry. She'll be back once she realizes what it is to dream without limitations. She won't be able to resist."

The Friendship Inception

by Schrodinger's Pony

Friendship Through Vengeance