Cold.
Ditzy’s first conscious thought was about how cold she was. Her realization of other discomforts followed shortly afterward. Her head throbbed. Her body ached. “Ohhh!” She moaned. Her throat burned and her mouth tasted terrible. She opened her eyes. It was dark. Very dark. Too dark to tell where she was. She shifted her position. Her hooves weren’t pressing on a mattress or a soft cushion. She was lying on the floor. No wonder her body ached. She moved her rear legs to stand.
“Yeow!” She yelped in response to a sudden, sharp pain stabbing under her tail that was unlike any she had ever felt before. “Ooooh, Where am I?” She thought aloud. She felt around again. She was lying on a shag rug and blanketed with what felt like bath towels. She must be in the bathroom.
Why am I in the bathroom?
Ditzy moved to stand carefully, mindful of the pain she felt before. However, there wasn’t another sharp pang on movement, now she just felt a soreness between her hind legs. Now fully standing, she took a small step. Her stomach lurched, causing her to stop, but it settled just as quickly. “Okay, where’s the light switch?” Ditzy whispered as she prodded slowly forward with her fore hoof. She located the switch and flipped it up.
“Ahrrhhh!” Ditzy growled as she shut her eyes as tightly as she could and turned her head towards the floor until the pain subsided. It felt like it was needles and not light that had entered her eyes. She blinked experimentally until she was sure she could tolerate the light. She lifted her head and looked in the mirror. Her reflection was horrible enough to make her want to immediately turn the light back off. Her mane had the wild, lopsided appearance of having been washed, violently toweled without being brushed afterward and then left to dry where she laid sleeping. Puffy bags framed her bloodshot eyes and the right side of her face bore the imprints of the shag rug like a hideous tribal tattoo. The impossible had been achieved: She looked even worse than she felt.
With a sigh, Ditzy turned on the water and splashed her face, hoping the coolness might ease the horrible pounding behind her eyes. Next she stuck her muzzle under the cool stream and drank a few gulps to alleviate the sour taste in her mouth and her sore throat. Then she picked up a brush and started taming the tangled blonde mess on her head. “Okay, I know you came home drunk…” Ditzy talked to her reflection as she began trying to piece together what happened last night and why she was sleeping in the bathroom. “After we finally got inside his room, we had one last dance and then…” She stopped brushing. “And then what?” She couldn’t remember. “Well, you know you are in the bathroom,” she told the bathroom mirror as started brushing again, “and you know that you bathed, so…. I must have wanted a bath before going to bed.” So far, everything sounded reasonable, but, nothing explained why she fell asleep here on the floor. She touched the imprints of the shag rug on her face like she needed to check their authenticity. Yes, she had definitely fallen asleep on the rug. The imprint was still palpable and sensitive.
“So why then, did I decide to fall asleep in here instead of on the couch?” Ditzy whispered her thoughts. Her reflection looked every bit as puzzled as she felt. Maybe she had passed-out? She thought. It was possible, but the lights were out. So, unless she took her bath in the dark, she couldn’t have simply passed-out. She set down her brush. Her mane wasn’t laying down nicely, but it wasn’t tangled anymore. She turned and picked the towels off the floor and hung them properly on rack. That done, she took another look around.
There was nothing else on the floor.
That’s it! Her mind exulted as a possible scenario played in her mind. She must have taken her dress off outside the bathroom and in her drunken state, forgotten that she wasn’t wearing an undertail. Most mares went without wearing the close fitting color-matched garment that covered their privates whenever they wore clothing that completely covered their backside. There was no need for it to preserve modesty when she was wearing her full length dress, and its absence simplified using the toilet when nature called. Ditzy laughed at herself even as she felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She hoped that she hadn’t given Abacus too much of a show when she dropped her dress outside the door. That answered the last riddle. She must have decided to sleep in here because she was too embarrassed to go out naked with Abacus in the next room.
Satisfied that she had solved the mystery, Ditzy shut off the light and allowed her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness before she unlocked and opened the bathroom door as quietly as she could. Light from Luna’s waning moon shone through the lone window to the apartment, bathing everything in the room with soft silver highlights. It was just enough light to see across the room where Abacus snored, sound asleep on his bed. She stepped out and found her saddle bags and backpack there by the door and pulled out a clean undertail and quickly put it on. Now that she wasn’t naked anymore, she looked about her for the dress she knew should be there.
But, there were no clothes anywhere near the bathroom door.
The throbbing in her head grew worse, forcing Ditzy to close her eyes and rub her temples. “Ugh!” She moaned through clenched teeth that began to chatter, reminding her how cold she was. Her mind and body seemed to be uniting against her solving this new mystery. She had better just forget about the dress until morning and go to sleep.
Ditzy unfolded the quilt on the couch and spread it out. Then she crawled under it and sighed contentedly as her body finally began to feel warmth. A particularly loud snore from Abacus just before she could approach the doorway to dreamland made her look over at him. Her night vision now allowing her to see clearly enough that she could discern his prone form and notice that he wasn’t under any covers. Sighing loudly, she thrust aside her quilt before her mind could protest and walked to the foot of his bed where he had apparently kicked the quilt and bed linens. She gathered the edges of the blankets in her muzzle and pulled them carefully up and over his body to his chin. Satisfied that he could now sleep contentedly the rest of the night, she walked around the foot of his bed, got her hooves caught up in some clothing discarded there, tripped, and fell on her muzzle.
“Oh! Oww!” Ditzy couldn’t help but exclaim to the unexpected stumble and subsequent face plant. She sniffed experimentally to see if her nose was bleeding. No, it seemed clear. Just another typical fall for her, painful, but she emerges uninjured. For a moment she lay still and listened to Abacus’ slow and deep breaths. She hadn’t disturbed him, so now she turned her attention to the fabric that caught her hooves. Even in the dark she could see that it was a shimmery gold colored material with pleats. It was her missing dress. As soon as the identity of the mystery fabric had settled in her mind, another much smaller and darker colored cloth became apparent. Her hoof was trembling as she picked up the other cloth by an exposed strap. Although was her trembling because of the cold, or because of fear she could not say. The cloth in her hoof obligingly unraveled with no further prompting from her. It was Abacus’ undertail, and it had been laying… Ditzy’s eyes went wide and she sucked in a shocked breath at the revelation. Abacus’ undertail was laying ON TOP OF HER DRESS!
She tossed the untertail like it had just become red hot. “No!” she whispered pleadingly to the night air. “No, I didn’t, I… I wouldn’t!” She looked over to Abacus still sound asleep. He… He wouldn’t! It was impossible! She knew they wouldn’t! They just… wouldn’t!
Sleep, she knew, was going to be impossible until she had settled this one last thing in her mind. Events from last night began to surface in her memory like debris from a tragedy at sea. Ditzy fought against accepting the horrid story they told. Those were just scattered fragments, she reasoned, and some scenes could be invented by her imagination still running wild. She got to her hooves, collected her dress and packed it in her saddlebag. Now she turned to face Abacus one more time. She stood still and took a moment to steel her resolve. She had to check. One. More. Thing.
Abacus was sleeping on the far side of the bed from her. She stepped up to the side of the bed. With a hoof, she picked up the covers about midway up the bed and exposed the fitted mattress cover. Farther and farther, she moved the covers back till the moonlight’s glow revealed a glimmering but dark discoloration on the fitted bed sheet. Ditzy reached out with her other forehoof and touched the spot. It was wet. She bit her lip. Now aware that she wasn't breathing, she threw the covers off Abacus’ hips. What she saw left no further room for doubt in her mind. Bile raced up her throat and forced her to cover her mouth and run for the bathroom where she began to retch over the toilet. Little more followed however, as she now remembered having already disgorged the contents of her stomach earlier in the night. She spit a few times trying to clear the sour taste of bile, but it refused to leave so easily. Similarly, the bitter memories from last night’s events continued returning and reforming in her mind.
Ditzy fell back on her haunch, swaying like a tree in high winds. Tears fell down her checks as she began to interrogate herself. What had she done?! How did she let this happen?! In the face of such severe questioning, Ditzy caved, hung her head guiltily, and answered. “I kissed him.” At her admission, the scene replayed.
They were spinning. Wild and free. She had never felt so alive, never felt so happy! A wild idea formed in her head of how to show Abacus how much she appreciated everything he had done. She wanted it to be fun. Playful. Just a simple peck on his cheek. Maybe his lips. But it was just going to be quick and friendly. Yes! She was going to do it! She yelled something. Something about how much fun she was having. Then she brought her head forward for the planned quick, friendly kiss. But they were off balance. Abacus had backed into his couch and fell backwards. Their mouths opening in surprise. He still held her, drawing her to land on top of him. And she kissed him. It surprised them both. She wasn’t able to make it a quick and friendly kiss. As she was pressed against him, it quickly morphed into something so much more intense.
In her mind, another older memory ran in parallel to the one she recently recovered. Here she heard one of her mother’s rants. “You are going to go and get pregnant by that Abacus colt! I know you are, because that’s what stupid little fillies like you do!"
“Ditzy, you have been naughty!” Ditzy accused herself mercilessly. “How could you do this to Abacus and Golden? And after they had been so nice to you? Why did you go and get in the way?” She began to sob now. She didn't mean to, it was an accident. But she refused to forgive herself. Abacus was going to be angry with her in the morning, and she knew what happened to naughty fillies when stallions got mad. “Bad, stupid, Ditzy! This is all your fault! And you know what you need to do now. You know what has to happen to bad little fillies. And crying about it isn’t going to help.” Ditzy repressed her sobs as best as she could so she would be able do what she knew she had to do. She picked herself up from the floor and made her way into the kitchen where she found the utility drawer. She didn’t have to pick through it very long before she found what she needed.
Abacus woke up to his alarm clock feeling sick and drained. Moaning, he pressed his hooves to his forehead as he rolled onto his back. An unfamiliar sensation caused him to open his eyes in shock. Was he...? He lifted up the covers and stared at his midsection. He was…! Quickly, he brought the covers back down to his chin. No memory of last night was forthcoming. Or rather, he corrected himself, no memory of what happened after dinner was forthcoming. A series of sharp pangs hit his forehead and forced him to squint against the pain. Hoping it was because of the noise, he reached over and silenced his alarm clock. Ditzy’s wild blonde mane peeked out from under her quilt and caught his eye as he did so. “Ditzy?” Her mane seemed to tremble at the sound of her name and retreat slowly under the quilt. Abacus felt his heart sink at her reaction. This didn’t bode well. “Ditzy?” he said her name now with more command in his voice. Her mane trembled again, then her head slowly peeked out from under her cover. She wouldn’t look at him. Abacus’ mouth went dry. “Ditzy, what happened last night?”
Ditzy winced at the question like it was a slap to her cheek. “Look under the covers.” She said in a brittle voice.
Abacus pulled the covers off the bed and sucked in a breath that seemed to stop his heart. There, in the center of the mattress was the tell-tale stain that bore mute testimony to a violent deflowering. Abacus felt like he was only an observer in his own body as he watched with his eyes wide open with fear as his hoof moved down his barrel to poke at his sheath. The tip of his hoof pulled out a drop of viscous fluid, stretching it out like a thread. His eyes darted to Ditzy. She had been watching him and she looked down. She didn’t avert her eyes like she was embarrassed, Abacus noted, she looked down. His eyes went back to the stain, then again to his hoof, then again to Ditzy. Stain. Hoof. “Oh no!” he said as realization dawned on him. “Oh no, no No NO!” Abacus stood and threw his pillow against the wall.
Ditzy started crying and tossed something on the bed. “I’m sorry, Abacus. I'm so sorry! I know what you have to do now. Just don’t use it on my back if you want me to leave today.” Ditzy said through repressed sobs as she stood and walked to his bed.
Abacus puzzled over the object Ditzy tossed at him. “Ditzy, what is this?” He picked up the wooden spoon with a hoof to find a length of electrical wire attached to one end.
“And don’t hit me under my tail, ‘cause I still hurt there.” Ditzy now streatched herself out on the bed leaving only her hindquarters off.
Abacus dropped the spoon, horrified at what she was suggesting. “Good heavens, Ditzy! This is a whip!”
Ditzy wasn’t paying any attention to him at all. She kept going on directing him. “And don’t call me any hurtful names. I don’t want to hear you call me any hurtful names.”
Abacus charged around the bed and picked Ditzy up off the bed by her forearm with his hoof. “Ditzy calm down!” He said hoping to end her monologue.
But his actions had a deleterious effect, and Ditzy became hysterical. “No! Don’t hit me with your hooves! Don’t hit my face! I don’t want you to hit me with your hooves! Use the whip! Please use the whip!" Abacus struggled with her as she flailed about trying to break his grasp. He tried to shush her, calm her, but nothing was working. In desperation, he finally wrapped his forelegs around her and just held on.
Ditzy struggled for a while more, but then just went limp and wept. Abacus held her close to him, wishing he wasn’t naked as the led her to sit with him on the couch. He held her tightly, with his neck pressed against hers, staring far away over her shoulder as he waited for this storm to pass. His memory was a blank. He had no recollection of what happened after they got home. But he didn’t need a memory to tell him what had happened. He had the physical evidence. He had a shattered life in his arms. He knew the psychology of traumatized fillies. That was all he needed. Ditzy’s prophecy was one of the events he could recall clearly, and he cursed Happenstance for being right. Something terrible had happened to Ditzy, and he was the cause.
He had raped her.