Most ponies wore their colors on their coats, or they dyed their manes, or they paraded in gregarious dresses. She knew she was different; she wore her colors on the inside. In a land of sunshine and rainbows, the frowner was deviant. Others would often accost her, asking what was wrong. Several stallions even thought she was challenging them; they tried feebly to put a smile on her face. Invariably after the third or fourth date, they would realize she was unshakeable in her disposition. The most promising candidate sadly left before he could see her faintest smile. On his walk out, he even called her a ‘sourpuss’ and ‘downer’. If only they saw beyond the small speck on her surface they would know that a rich mineral vein was underneath. Still she did not openly advertise.
It was the way she simply was. The Pie clan was taught to value every gesture and show of emotion. In the dusty quarry where they farmed rocks, it was a life of isolation similar to a monastery. Ambient magical energy in the ground caused precious gems to manifest within boulders. The Pie clan had long lived on a leyline where magic converged and pooled. When they weren’t breaking or halving stone for their mineral deposits, it was so silent a pony could hear her heartbeat and those around her. They offered shelter and board for vagrant once. It was some former starlet, Trixie the something was her name. The mare did not seem to be a friend of the quiet and she worked in a frenzied pace letting the sound of her striking pickaxe drown out the thoughts in her head. After a month and half of working the fields, the light blue mare secured her pay and left them citing the maddening silence. Maud liked the silence, she found herself in it. The serenity it brought was a piece of heaven. Then there was her sister…
If the Pie clan was abnormal amongst the rest of Equestria, Pinkie Pie could be said to be a deviant amongst the deviants. A rebel amongst rebels? A dab of color in the drab, she was. From accounts of others, Maud knew her sister even amongst the extroverted was an extraordinary exception. Her sister’s spirit was not the hollow hell of a shell she’d seen others project, nay Pinkie’s cider cup runneth over. Pinkie was able to make Pa and Ma to smile, something of which was rarer than a blue moon. Pinkie’s rebellion or revolution had caused a stir within her long ago if not within the family as a whole. Maud had cloistered herself in the university studying geology and now had a degree to hang over her mantle place. It was a long time coming but she was going to set out into the world… to catalog all the varieties of rock.
Maude pulled back the handle to open her booth in the train car. She nearly broke the handle off as she did. A rock farmer’s lifestyle would enhance the strength of any who lived it. Combined with natural Earth Pony strength, Maud’s muscles were well toned. She was not boastful though, for the pride often came at a price. Those who knew themselves did not need to demonstrate what they could do should the meaningful moment come. She smirked internally, entering the train she had passed a troop train car, she knew she could destroy half those Royal Guards in hoof wrestling without so much as breaking a sweat. She’d collect their betting bits and have her pocket purse flushed with coin. She had done it before. Nay today they would live; she had poetry to write. She opened the tiny black book and took a quill from her satchel.
Maud’s Journal; Page 42
Rock rich in ore, what lies in your core?
Fluorspar, amethyst, diamond, or more?
Rock away to the roadside, they cannot see
Do they bother with what’s inside before they toss thee?
Rock we live on a bigger rock, that’s science it’s true
Most don’t know or care, what is a girl to do?
Suddenly the door to her cabin opened. She set her journal aside and pulled out her ticket, expecting the conductor. Instead she saw a brown maned pony with a cheesy color coat complexion. He wore a dark brown poncho and western style hat. The stallion promptly sat in the seat opposite her.
“Hey good lookin’ miss, mind if I sit here? It’s a nice day isn’t it?”
She had reserved a booth for herself, paid in full. “Yes,” said Maud.
“Yeah, I disagree though. It’s not a nice day.” He dramatically lowered his hat’s brim to hide his eyes. The stallion hung his head low seemingly in a depressive state.
Maud was beginning to like this pony that is if he didn’t continue. He continued…
He popped up his head. “It’s not a nice day. It’s a fantastic day!” He bounced on the seat cushions. He jumped out of his poncho and hat, to reveal a yellow t shirt underneath. “A celebration for pony kind! We should all be happy to be alive! What makes you happy?”
“I like rocks.”
“I see. Those are some mighty delicious rock candy necklaces you got there!”
“Here, have them.” Maud threw the collection of candy rings onto his neck. She wasn’t a candy addict. Her snacking preference was salty. She could chew rock salt all day.
He nearly toppled over from the weight of the many candied necklaces. “Shucks miss, these are heavy. I guess I’ll have to eat them! Thanks a bunch.” The stallion happily began munching on the crunchy sugar crystals.
Maud was less than pleased. Her silence and serenity was being invaded.
In between noisy chewing the stallions spoke. “So what do you do for a livin’?”
Maud sat back to avoid the flecks of candy crystals flying from his mouth as he spoke. “I’m a geologist. I study rocks.”
“Woweee you’re going to be a tough customer. I’m a party planner. Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I'm your pony. It’s my job to make ponies smile. I bet I could put a smile on your face. I bet you dinner!”
Maud remained steadfast. “You won’t.”
“Of course not!” He reached into his satchel. “Not alone! This is my good friend and partner, Boneless Two!” He pulled out a rubberized chicken toy out of his satchel. The toy squeaked as he set onto the seat. He tried to throw his voice making the chicken talk. “Hiya there miss, I’m here to put a smile on your face! I’m Boneless, what’s your name now?” The tiny chicken took off its tinier hat and bowed.
“Maud.” she spoke. She blinked slightly when she realized she had responded to a questioned posed by a rubber chicken puppeteered by a grown stallion. She supposed she had developed a habit of talking to inanimate objects. Her pet rock, Boulder, was a source of great emotional venting for her. She once even shouted at it, in so far that she spoke in a slightly elevated tone. Her pet resided in her chest pocket by her heart.
Boneless squeaked. “Well gee, me and Cheese Sandwich here are going to make you smile before this train trip is done!”
Cheese laughed. “That’s right, Boneless. We’re going to make her smile!”
Maud was tempted roll her eyes.
Boneless squeaked as he flapped his little wings and bobbed his head. “Where do bat ponies, keep their savings?”
“A blood bank,” Maud replied. She heard that one from Pinkie ages ago.
Boneless crossed his chicken wings. “Well, that’s a surprise you know your jokes! Okay another one! How do you make a small fortune in the Canterlot racing derby?”
“You start with a large fortune.” Maud did not so much as blink.
Cheese smiled in preparation for his next joke. “What do you call when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?”
She took a while but wasn’t able to think of the answer. He was talking about minerals; she should have known yet she drew a blank.
“SWAG in your bag!” Cheese had a tiny drum set and cymbal to play punctuating the joke.
Maud wanted to slap herself. Her geologist training should have prepared her. The elements he mentioned were represented by letters in the periodic table. S was sulfur, W was tungsten, and AG represented silver. “Those were elements…” It was funny to her. Her lips quivered but she was rock solid. She refused to smile. There was no way this amateur was going to get her to. Her stoicism was stone; like the jagged rocks off the Coast of Woe she had dashed ships before. Her own personal debate raged on inside for a while, behind the same expressionless face.
The train chugged along as the world passed by outside the window unaware of any of her internal musings. Maud came back from her daze to find Cheese flicking through a small little black book. “Yowza is this your poetry?” Cheese's eyeballs poured over the pages.
“That’s mine,” said Maud, sternly.
His smile disappeared as he read on. “It’s good, but sorta sad. Those rocks are awful lonesome.”
Maud snatched her private journal away. She was breathing heavily in anger which amounted to a slight puff. She placed her hoof on his and pressed ever so slightly. She didn’t like to show of her rockbreaker's strength but she squeezed him slightly to stress her point. She knew a little more and she’d hear the crunch of his bones.
“My Miss Maud, that’s some strength you go there.” Cheese tried to smile through pressure and pain.
Her strength and outward emotions were things Maud strived to control otherwise she might break the world. She removed her hoof. “You should leave.”
They heard a knock on the cabin. “Tickets please,”
Maud looked to see Cheese had disappeared. All was left was his rubber chicken that dangled by a wing from the top head luggage compartment door.
The conductor opened the door and stepped into the booth. In his blundering and thundering, the conductor, walked with the authority of a police pony. “Tickets please.”
Maud gave the conductor her ticket for him to stamp. As she did the conductor heard the rustling in the top compartment.
“Miss is there someone else there with you? We’ve been looking for a stowaway. The bum sweet talked himself onto the train.” The conductor eyed the top head luggage compartment. He grimaced when he saw a rubber chicken stuck on the luggage compartment door. The chicken was a flag for suspicion.
It was the moment of truth. Part of her wanted to rat out the intruder, Cheese would get kicked off and she’d be given her peace. She didn’t even have say a thing. Inaction was an action unto itself as often was her choice. The conductor was reaching to open the compartment.
Maud spoke. “It’s just me. You can’t tell anyone.” She blocked the conductor from moving forward subtly by standing up.
The conductor looked at the Cheese’s colorful saddle bag and party confetti all over the compartment. The vibrant things clashed severely with Maud’s gray coat and the muted colors of her robe. “That doesn’t seem like the stuff you’d carry.”
“I’m a ventriloquist comedian. I like to keep my act and my life separate.”
“Really?”
“Watch, I can make that chicken talk.” Maud pointed a hoof at the rubber toy.
The conductor looked at the chicken with a skeptically raised brow.
Maud repeated louder. “I said I can make that chicken talk.”
Boneless spoke. “Yes she can! We’re a travelling act! Biggest sensation in Equestria! I’m the funny one!”
“No I am.” said Maud in her monotone.
The conductor laughed. “The old contrast act huh? Your dead pan versus the chicken’s humor. That’s some talent, Miss.” He turned towards the cabin door. “Well if you see some bum in a poncho with a hat, shout out.”
“I will.” Maud and the chicken spoke at once.
The conductor swung his head back.
Maud spoke again. “I will.”
“Ha, your lip sync could use some work.” The conductor left chuckling and returned to grumbling in the train hallways. “When I catch that stowaway bum! A beating I say! Maybe two beatings! Then out he goes!”
After she was sure the conductor had passed their train car. Maud tapped the luggage compartment to signal the all clear. In the window the setting sun, painted the desert landscape with hues of cerise, orange, and gold.
Cheese Sandwich swung down and smiled harder than she had seen him thus far. “Miss, you saved my hide!” He looked out at the window and the passing desert. The place was barren and inhospitable. “Getting kicked off the train in the desert is a death sentence.”
Maud sighed. “You can’t afford a train ticket?”
“Nah, you don’t wanna hear my sob story.”
She insisted. “Tell me.”
Cheese Sandwich, frowned for the first time she had seen him. His fluffy mane deflated slightly. “Well miss, I’m the premiere party planner in Equestria. Ponies pay me fortunes to host parties for them. I use the money I get to plan the next party. I never turn a profit or save a bit; I figured their smiles was reward enough. Recently a customer didn’t pay… I turned bust. Reality isn’t a party… unfortunately. I’ve been betting ponies meals for smiles for a while."
He sighed, sinking into his seat. “It takes something out of ya… Right now I’m feeling maybe the biggest joke is my life...”
This pony was insufferable. He barged into her cabin. He disturbed her quiet contemplation. He even violated her most sacred diary. Yet this genuine moment from him showed her how she misjudged him. Had she not wanted him out she would have noticed how distended his stomach was. She understood it now; he wasn’t asking her out on a date, he was actually starving. Regardless of his situation, he’d been smiles all up till this moment. He wasn’t groveling for a meal but rather he worked for it. His attempts to make her smile almost even worked. There was a glow from his personality that inspired her fiercely… all these emotions and thoughts remained inside of course.
Maud thought of her sister, Pinkie was once in a slump. Rock farming at days’ end was repetitive menial labor. She heard in other lands, they conscripted convicts to do the work. The sanctuary was easily a prison. Despite her disdain for sweets she taught her sister how to make rock candy. A new tradition was started between them and after they made the first batch of the crystal treats, Pinkie had forgotten her sorrow. Seeing Cheese Sandwich, she felt she had do something. She swore she could hear her pet rock tell her to be ‘bolder’.
She spoke in the most comforting inflection she could which filter out in her monotone voice. “I like you. Your antics remind me of my sister, Pinkie Pie.”
His mane popped back up slightly. “Well it’s funny you should say,” Cheese rubbed the back of his mane. “I actually—”
“You, me, and dinner.”
Cheese was shaken by her sudden offer. “What?! Sure… but I didn’t win the bet. I didn’t make ya smile.”
Whoever said Earth Ponies had no magic did not witness this moment. As was her choice, she let him see the colors within. The gray mare’s lips curled upwards. The last of the sunset light caught her teeth. It was a stupid grin, but brilliantly the smile gleamed like a star descended.
Cheese was so surprised by her he dropped his rubber chicken squeaking to the floor.
Maud planted a small kiss on the cheek of the stunned stallion. “I’ll rock your world.”