The Alicorn Academy

by kudzuhaiku


Celestia's Class

It was good to be back in Canterlot, Hoodwink reflected, walking down the hall with her companions. She liked it here. The Crystal Empire was a nice place, but Hoodwink prefered Canterlot. She didn’t know why. Other students trotted around them, filling the hallway with a cacophony of clopping hooves. Hoodwink felt nervous and overwhelmed, surrounded by all of the other unicorn foals. She found herself pressing against Minerva for comfort. Minerva gave her a knowing look and a smile, making Hoodwink feel better. Hoodwink heard the groans of students complaining about the sulfurous fumes in the hallway. She felt a brief twinge of anger, thinking about what Brimstone might be feeling.

It was strange, Hoodwink thought, about how little she noticed Brimstone’s smell now. It was a background smell. But one she paid attention to. If it suddenly became strong, it meant that Brimstone was sad. Or uncomfortable. Or angry. It meant that something had changed in his mind, and was a clear indicator that Brimstone needed somepony. He was often stony and stoic, but his scent gave him away, betraying his unseen change of emotions. Reading Brimstone was difficult, but there were always signs.

Minerva was easy to read. She displayed her emotions for all of the world to see and did nothing to hide them. Hoodwink considered her mother’s lessons on how to read other ponies, and how useful those lessons were now becoming. Minerva was entirely too easy to read. It was comforting though. Hoodwink never had to wonder where she stood with Minerva.

And then there was Ivy. Ivy was both simple and complicated. Ivy wasn’t exactly a pony, which made her body posture difficult, but it was pretty easy to figure Ivy out as Ivy squeezed all of the air out of you.

All in all, Hoodwink had good friends.

Ivy sat at her desk in the crowded classroom. She was counting ponies. It was something she had been doing a lot of lately. There were twenty one ponies in this room. She had counted. Four times. While waiting on Celestia. She started to count again, beginning with Brimstone. Minerva. Hoodwink. The pink unicorn filly next to Hoodwink. The white colt. Her claw pointed to each as she took them in.

“I know what you are doing.” Said a gentle voice in her ear.

Ivy very nearly leapt out of her skin. She sucked in a deep breath and tried not to cry out.

Celestia stood near her.

“What am I doing?” Ivy asked, her chest heaving.

“I’m sorry if I startled you.” Celestia said. “I’ve seen this same behaviour before.”

Ivy looked puzzled.

“You are counting your hoard.” Celestia stated, her tone soothing and gentle. “You are being a productive little dragon, counting your hoard, counting everything that is precious to you. I’ve seen Spike do the same thing. With comic books.”

Ivy felt a hot blush rise in her cheeks.

“My hoard?” She asked. “I’m not greedy. I’ve been warned. I’m very careful after Twilight warned me.”

“Hoarding ponies is good Ivy. Protect your hoard.” Celestia said, as she moved forward to stand before the class. “I will speak to you later about this.”

Ivy settled into her desk, trying to be comfortable. Hoarding ponies, she thought, her mind suddenly racing. Is that what she had been doing? She felt a twinge of worry and didn’t know why. She resolved to speak to Celestia later.

“Class.” Celestia spoke, the idle chatter instantly dying down. The room fell completely silent. Twenty one pairs of eyes focused on Celestia.

“Class, today we are going to learn about Starswirl’s unification theory. Can anypony tell me what it is?” Celestia looked out into the room expectantly.

No hooves were raised.

“Starswirl was a very clever pony. A long time ago, he began to study military records of the pegasi. He studied unicorns and a history of their horns. And do you know what he found?” Celestia asked, still hopeful.

Still, no hooves were raised.

“Starswirl determined that ponies were getting smaller. Unicorn horns had shortened. History made that clear. He had a hunch that pegasi were getting smaller. This worried Starswirl a great deal and he began to make a very detailed study, cataloging ponies all over Equestria. Can anypony guess why Starswirl was worried?”

Minerva raised her hoof. Celestia nodded.

“A smaller horn would mean less magic could be channeled.” Minerva said, her face thoughtful. “It would mean that over time, if horns were getting smaller, magic would be getting weaker. And smaller pegasi would have a hard time fighting tough storms or fighting battles with powerful enemies. If earth ponies became smaller, you would need more earth ponies to do the same amount of work that only a few could do.”

“Correct,” said Celestia, smiling, “Starswirl made this conclusion. And everypony laughed at him. But he stood by what he had said, ignoring the scorn of his peers. Starswirl theorised that the tribes coming together would be vital to the survival of our kind. Unification was not just a pleasant option, but vitally necessary if our species wanted to continue to exist.”

“And nopony believed him?” a filly foal asked.

“No,” said Celestia, shaking her head, “nopony believed him. But he continued taking notes and keeping records inspite of what others thought of him. And now, today, over a thousand years later, we can study Starswirl’s notes and records. And do you know what we have found?”

A blue colt raised his hoof. Celestia looked at him.

“That Starswirl was right?” The foal asked.

“Yes.” Stated Celestia, looking somewhat grim. “Ponies have been getting smaller. Unicorn horns are getting shorter. Pegasi are getting smaller and weaker. It takes almost twice as many earth ponies now to do the same amount of work. Our species has become little ponies. And we depend on each other for survival. It is doubtful that the tribes could separate and once again stand upon their own.”

“The Collective says otherwise.” A filly foal stated. “But I don’t believe them!” She added in a hurry, worried that her teacher might take offense.

Celestia stood silent for some time, saying nothing.

“This is why the lunar pegasi are so important.” Brimstone said, breaking the silence. “They’re still very large and powerful. But they are not really accepted into our society, which is shameful. We have unification of three tribes, but there are more than three tribes. We forget this too often.”

Celestia raised her head, looking fiercely proud for a moment.

“We have to come together.” Brimstone continued. “We have to learn to get past how a pony might look or any fears we have. It does not sound like we can afford exclusion any longer. There may come a day when the survival of our species may rest upon the shoulders of the lunar pegasi. Why should they fight and die to help us after the way so many ponies treat them?”

Brimstone licked his lips, his crimson eyes narrowing. looking nervous.

“Or Ivy. A lot of you say bad things about Ivy. You tease her. You say awful things. You are mean. You are heartless. You judge her based on how she looks, and all of you that do this should be ashamed. She is one of us. How would you feel if you were different?” Brimstone’s voice cracked into an angry squeak. “And you tease me. Sometimes, I am not entirely positive that we have come together as a species. Not in a meaningful way.”

Several foals in the classroom hung their heads.

Brimstone stared down at his desk, scowling angrily. He had more to say, but he choked back the angry words. He felt a familiar tail tip coil around his hind leg. He couldn’t bring his gaze to look at Ivy. Hot tears welled in his eyes, and, if he saw her, he might lose it completely. He felt a hoof on his shoulder.

“Thank you Brimstone.” Celestia said, in her usual gentle tone. “Brimstone is correct. Those of you who take delight in teasing others should be ashamed. Equestria is in troubled times, and we cannot afford to squabble amongst one another. Difficult times are ahead. And all of this talk of unicorn unity is foolishness. We need pony unity. I want you all to write a paper on this subject. What does unity mean and what can you do to support it? Why is it important? I want you to read the condensed notations on Twilight Sparkle’s friendship reports and think about how those concepts bring society together. I want a minimum of ten pages on this subject.”

There was a collective groan from the class.

“Only ten pages?” Brimstone protested. “Where am I going to fit my citations and sources in a ten page paper?”

“Brimstone, feel free to generate as many pages as you need.” Celestia said, a faint smile on her lips. “But you four, my special students, I want you to do your paper together. Unified. As one. I’ll expect sections offering each of your unique perspectives.”

Brimstone suddenly felt a whole lot better.