Caramel chewed lazily on a few straws of hay. He had forgotten just how old it was. The reserves were meant to keep ponies alive if any emergency came up, not to delight the taste buds. But even then, it had been a while since the hay was replaced. It was like chewing on sadness and disappointment.
He remembered the one straw Big Macintosh usually chewed. He always thought it was just an excuse not to talk to ponies; and who could blame him? The big lug would just chew and chew while others just yammered on about who-cared-what. They seemed to appreciate his withdrawn nature when the straw bobbed and spun in his mouth. If only they knew what he was thinking that whole time...When Caramel did it, he was sure he just looked hungry.
After a few minutes of self-punishment, he spat out the spoiled cud. Maybe it was bearable when the hay was good, who was to say? In any case, it was a ridiculously easy habit to kill. Wanting to get rid of the taste, he wobbled over to the bucket and gargled the rainwater.
Bad idea.
He almost retched spitting the fetid water out of his revolted mouth. It had been sitting there for days, so he wasn't surprised at the green film that once sat atop the surface, until he swept it around his tongue. He was surprised at the fact that he didn't notice before he did it. Even with the sun's fading crimson blaze on top of it, it wasn't exactly subtle. Feeling no less relieved, he sat down next to the blanket on the broken hay.
Just what happened back there? It was like I was just a foal again. I don't mind yelling if I have to...but that was so raw. I just couldn't stop it, I had to keep going or it was going to drive me crazy.
I can't believe I called him Dad. That was so dumb. What, I can't even tell the difference between them? I love both of them, yeah, but there's no reason for that; it's just silly. He seemed just devastated by it, probably because he hates the guy so much. Well, you know what? He's still my father and I love him, why can't you see that? In fact, why were you so surprised by it? Yeah, you weren't expecting it, but I was angry and hurt and confused, so I was bound to blurt out something ridiculous.
At least I didn't smile and try to cover it up like I did with Dad; he never understood that. He liked it, but he never understood it, I could tell. He was confused by lots of stuff, and Big Macintosh looked really confused...maybe that's why I said it. Whatever, water under the bridge...I guess...
...I haven't thought about Mom in years. I tried to forget with everything I had to do...but it all just came back at once, the stupidly small funeral, her way too calm face when she died, the doctors, Dad's face, the doctors, the funeral the doctors doctors doctors never did anything could have done everything should have done something instead of nothing like you did sneaking out in the middle of the night how dare you who does that please don't be mad at me I'm sorry I'm sorry it hurts I'm sorry!
Mac I'm sorry you're nothing like him no way not at all you're kind and sweet and generous and dedicated but who are you? I don't know who you are! Nopony does! I'd forgive you if I knew who you were but who is that I don't know do you even know? One moment you're wonderful then you're mindless then you're wonderful again it doesn't make sense you don't make sense! Oh look a butterfly a butterfly by itself why is it by itself why is it even here? It's resting on my old shoe I love that shoe I forgot it here wow. I just left it here with my two medals, geez I was in a hurry. I left so much here without even thinking about it and Mac got all of it oh Celestia what have I done? Shoo butterfly go sit somewhere else.
What do I do now I probably lost my boyfriend my only chance and I didn't even earn that chance he just gave it to me unconditionally he's so sweet oh gods above...I ruined my own life my own ruined life I ruined it's all ruined I AM RUIN. I ruined Big Macintosh I did this to him it's not his fault wait yes it is he never talks...but he didn't have to until me but he was so brash and oblivious at the stadium but that was because of me no it was his competitiveness he didn't know about which isn't his fault or is it I don't know I don't know anything
I'm
so
confused...!
Silence. Complete silence.
This barn is so quiet, no creaks, no drips, no squeaking mice, nothing.
Please stop being quiet. I hate it. I always have, wait, no, that's not right. Well it doesn't matter I hate it it's creepy.
“La di da di da da da...I'm all alooooooone in this stupid baaaaaaaaaaaarn...”
I hate this. I hate most everything, but I really hate this it's stupid it's pointless it's unbearable why am I doing this? I shouldn't be here, I should be...what was it...RUMORS! I forgot about the rumors! I should be taking care of those maybe then he'll forgive me oh Mac I'm so sorry really I am I messed up you didn't deserve that...
Is somepony out there? I heard trotting...oh. Tourists. They keep changing their route and time, it's so annoying. Well, they certainly sound lively.
But how do I do it? I said I would face the music, but how do I even go about it? I don't have any shoe tricks to dissuade a mob of bigoted ponies; that's not how it works. I guess...I guess if all else fails, I can distract them with it so Mac could escape from town and go where he wants. As for me? As for me, as for me...it doesn't make a bit of difference.
Dear Princess Celestia, why was I born so helpless?
Yours truly,
Caramel
Oh no, look at that, the letter fell apart before I could send it! What a shocker! At least it was just an imaginary one; imagine if it were a real one! That would be embarrassing!
...He was always embarrassed of me. You never were.
“...I miss you.”
“THERE HE IS! I HEARD HIS VOICE!”
BAM, BAM, BAM!
“OPEN UP, FREAK! YOU GOT A LOT TO ANSWER FOR!”
“YEAH!”
Oh no, no no no, not here. Why are they here? Why are they doing this now?
“Like, no one seduces mah champion, and, like, gets away with it, chah...”
“Your boyfriend wouldn't talk, so you better be ready to answer for two! You sick little devil...”
Devil? How very creative.
Wait, they questioned him? And he couldn't say anything?!
“WE KNOW IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN WEIRD; YOU CHANGED HIM! WELL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE ANYONE ELSE!”
“YEAH!”
“TELL IT LIKE IT IS!”
Anyone? Are they still on that? Good gravy...
“OPEN UP OR WE'RE TAKING THIS BARN DOWN! YOU GOT TEN SECONDS!”
I can't believe this is happening.
“TEN!”
What the hells do I do now?!
“NINE!”
Big Macintosh can't handle crowds like this, not when they're out to get him. He can barely stand up to those he loves, let alone strangers.
“EIGHT!”
Well, not strangers, really. Some of them. Most of 'em will just be ponies who were always here...swept up in the mania.
“SEVEN!”
I can't just sit here and wait to be humiliated...or worse. I have to do something!
“SIX!”
But they're crowding the door! What can I do about that?!
“FIVE!”
I suppose...there's really only one thing I can do. The only thing I could ever do.
“FOUR!”
But that'll just make 'em think I'm freakier than before. No, I need...I need old Cheerilee.
“THREE!”
Yeah...here we go, girl; it's time to show 'em what we can really do.
“TW—
THWACK, THWACK, THWA-CRASH!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
The barn door laid in splinters in front of the small mob. Caramel walked calmly into the open, two red ribboned medals swinging under his neck, making sure to avoid the wood strewn around the dazed ponies (some with makeshift signs saying something along the lines of “Protect Ponyville”.) He stared them down, twirling his favorite shoe with his tail all the while. They were lost for words, and he was ready.
“No comment.”
Who cared about this bunch? The bulk of the mob had to be in town...where Big Macintosh had to be, too. They were tormenting their champion, no doubt. Time was precious.
Keeping his shoe twirling at high velocity, he galloped away from the disoriented crowd...only to fall over not too far from them. Damn his left hind leg. He needed a ride...but how was he going to find one here?
Well, as silly as it sounded, he had to try.
“TAXI!”
Come on, come on...!
“D-DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!”
“B-BUT HE'S ARMED!”
“Wait, you guyz. He's, like, really vulnerable right now. Let's, like, just drop it, because eww. Not worth it.”
“WHAT?! HAS YOUR GUM WARPED YOUR MIND, MARE?!”
“Um, whaddya, like, mean?”
“HAS YOUR...OH, FORGET IT!”
“You don't have to, like, keep shouting. It's really, like, getting on mah nervez, chah.”
“Someone call for a taxi?”
Like a prayer answered, Rick Shaw arrived with taxi cart in tow. He looked considerably confused by the situation.
“Somepony called for a taxi,” answered Caramel, “and that's me. But I'll only take it on two conditions.” He hung the shoe around his neck.
“Okay...”, hesitated Rick, “what are they?”
Caramel looked briefly to the mob: they were leaderless and clueless now.
“That I ride on your back instead of the cart,” he stated, “and that you run into town as fast as you can!” He hopped onto Rick Shaw's back.
“I-It's really better if you--”
“JUST DO IT!”, shouted Caramel before kicking Rick's sides.
The taxi pony whinnied as he charged away from the fields. The town lights were focused on the square, it seemed. This was looking worse and worse by the second...
“Head to the square, but stop by the rec park first! Just trust me!”
No matter what you think of me...I'm coming to make things right. Just hang in there...
---
“How could you?!”
“I looked up to you, you know! And then you pull this!”
“Ponyville used to be a great place! Ponies like you ruined it!”
“If an Apple family member is carrying himself like this, then maybe the Oranges should take over after all, darling.”
“Take that yoke off, stand up, and face me like a real stallion!”
“CAN I GET EVERYPONY'S ATTEN--”
“SHUT UP!”
“Move aside, old mare! We got business to handle!”
Beyond those kinds of words, Big Macintosh couldn't understand what was being shouted at him, near him, to the others, whatever...all he knew was it was best to just lie in the center and not fight it. They had coerced him there, the lights were focused there, so they obviously wanted him there. If he tried to say anything, his voice died in his throat. If he fought back, he would either seriously hurt somepony or they would find some way to overwhelm him. He just laid there, hooves over his ears, eyes closed...and waited for it to end.
The sun had finally set, leaving a dull blue ocean above them all. He was alone.
He was ready to beg for it to end, the harsh, hateful voices and shoves getting harder and harder to ignore. He didn't care about how Ponyville may or may not have been corrupted, whether he ruined their ideal of masculinity; he just wanted to take his Caramel and get out of there. Not that he could get to him...not that he had any right to take him away from there.
The last words still racked his body with self-loathing. To even be accused of resembling that wicked pony, of that family deserter...he wanted to smack Caramel for saying it. After housing him and feeding him, he had the nerve to say that?! He wanted to hold the pony up by the ear and demand an apology for such an insult! Nopony deserved to be called that.
But Mel said it because he did resemble the deserter a bit. He had dragged the poor pony around, reminding him of his helplessness, only to crush what hopes he had and (almost) leave him there to drown in despair. He resembled Caramel's father by the behavior that ruined Caramel's life. It wasn't on purpose, he wasn't even aware of it...and that was the worst part. He wasn't in control of his worst quality...
Caramel...
All the voices and shoves against him might as well have been his own. This served as his punishment for his error, even as the crowds became more and more restless. He just hoped and prayed for them to stop...
“GET UP AND FIGHT BACK, YOU TRAITOR!”
Jus' stay calm an' stay down.
“YOU REALLY HAVE CHANGED! YOU DISGUST ME!”
Ow...that wuzn't necessary. Jus' bear it, jus' bear it...s-so what if'n he sounds like Mel, just don't do anythin' silly.
“I wanted to start a family with you! I had plans, plans that you RUINED!”
Well...that jus' fits in nicely, doesn't it? Ah tend t'ruin plans all 'round.
“HOW CAN YOU LIKE STALLIONS? IT'S REVOLTING, IT'S...BACKWARDS, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! I-IT'S JUST WRONG!”
Wait...it's wrong? How d'you reckon that? OW!
“QUIT COWERING! TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A REAL PONY!”
YEOW! T-this hasta stop...whut did Ah get mahself into?!
“I'VE BEEN WAITING TO DO THIS SINCE YOU HUMILIATED ME!”
“...S-stop...”
“WHAT WAS THAT?! SPEAK UP, STUD LICKER!”
“...Ah-Ah *cough* said stop...” He tried to get up, but was headbutted back into lying on the cobblestone.
“OH, YOU WANT ME TO STOP? YOU HEAR THAT? HE WANTS ME TO STOP!”
“S-stop it before Ah--”
“OOOOOOH, I'M SO SCARED! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU JUST TRY IT! YOU JUST TRY TO TAKE US DOWN, YOU PERVERTED BULLY!”
“AH SAID STOP--”
CLANG!
From out of nowhere, a single shoe crashed between Macintosh and his assaulter. The latter backed off as both watched its high-velocity circle around the former in a stupor. They didn't even know that was possible.
CLANG!
From the north part of town, a second shoe crashed in the same area and started circling in the opposite direction. Just what was going on here? The only shoe trickster who might bother to intervene was...
Oh no no no. Not here, not against them. He hoped it wasn't--
CLUNK!
A third shoe struck the first two as they crossed paths. All three of them tumbled and spun, the first two landing fairly quickly on the ground in front of him. The third flew straight upward until it landed just above the other two, spinning on one of its ends like a flipped bit.
It spun and spun and spun...the entire mob watched it slow down and become unsteady. It looked ready to finally lay flat on the ground; that was when a beige hoof stomped it, making it face north.
“Where did that pony come from?!”
“Wait...hey! It's Caramel, the klutz from the Cup! He's got the medals he was too stuck up to accept!”
“Wait, he didn't accept them? Why would he do that?”
Caramel had his eyes closed, taking a deep breath. Macintosh was completely nonplussed as he saw his love standing in the middle of the once raving ponies. Mel shouldn't have been there...but it seemed they weren't going to go after him. They were just after their former champion. Good...he could live with that.
He dared to whisper: “Caramel, git th' hells outta here!”
Bad idea.
“Wait...is this the pony? The one who seduced you?”
CLANG!
A precision shoe throw answered the delusioned policepony. It ricocheted off the street to be twirled around the thrower's tail, who then set it down meaningfully.
“Yes...and no,” Caramel called out to the crowd. “Yes, because he is my boyfriend...and no, because nopony seduced him as you say.”
“TH-THESE TWO ARE DANGEROUS! WE GOTTA GET RID OF 'EM!”
“DANGEROUS?!,” Mel shouted. “DANGEROUS?! T-TELL ME WHAT YOU CALL ALL OF THIS? THIS ISN'T DANGEROUS? I see policeponies mobbed around! I see athletes and shopkeepers, gardeners and mailponies...FRIENDS and ESTEEMED community members torturing him...just what do you think you're all doing?!”
The mob began to shuffle around and dissipate ever so slightly. Mac watched Mel walked over next to him, chest puffed out and head held high. He looked...he looked...
Beautiful.
“Never mind the fact this guy could have pulverized you,” the newcomer began, causing winces from several offenders, “this is just wrong. I know - believe me, I know - that things have been crazy for the past month. For those that have lived here and for newcomers, our ways of life have been threatened by forces we didn't even know existed. The business upheavals, the weird building projects, the rich and poor ponies being at odds, the dragons challenging Spike, Rarity and other ponies disappearing when we need them...it's a mess! It's all weighed heavily on us and maybe made us a little agitated...maybe eager to take it out on the biggest target..."
Although Mac saw half of the mob stubbornly clung to their signs and refused to move, he saw the other half obviously faltering in their intent.
"But this is the bottom line: ponies don't do this to other ponies! It's a mockery of everything we stand for, everything we've had to overcome! Just look at yourselves! Tell me just what it is you're doing!”
Slowly but surely, the ponies in the mob began nervously looking around them. Some of them snorted in denial, some started crying, some coughed, but none of them said a word. Big Macintosh shivered as Caramel laid a calm hoof on his shoulder. He didn't deserve comfort from him...but he wasn't about to turn it away.
“This pony here...is still Big Macintosh. We all know him, we all love him, and I'm here to tell you nothing has changed. So he likes stallions...so what? It's not like he's the first to ever do it, you know. Did y'all know that? I bet half of y'all didn't even know what that kind of thing is until recently! We just never talked about this sort of thing before...but now it's suddenly evil? Apparently! Y'all didn't even understand it, and yet you went and ganged up on this sweetheart? Who's the bully now?!”
“HEY! D-DON'T MUDDY THE ISSUE! HE BETRAYED US!”
“YEAH!”
Macintosh gulped. The memory still stung as strongly as ever. But Caramel kept his head held high...he was going to keep fighting no matter how bad it got, wasn't he?
“Prove it.”
“...What?”
Everypony was confused now...even the one huddled in the middle of the street. This seemed like an odd approach. More ponies began to self-consciously examine themselves. Mac heard the upper-crusty ponies on the edges chat with each other. He had good faith they didn't incite the riot...but who knew what the rich types were thinking? Clementine looked like a perfectly nice filly, after all.
But all of this paled in the knowledge that Caramel was bravely defending his honor, which made him so deliriously happy he couldn't feel his legs.
Ah love you so very much, babe. An' Ah hope you can forgive me...
“I said prove it. How did he betray anypony?”
“You mean anyone.”
“...No. I don't. I know a lot of you didn't even know Big Macintosh until the Stallions' Field Cup. Did he say or do anything which would make this little episode 'treacherous'?”
“H-HOW DARE YOU? YOU...YOU RAN AWAY FROM THE CUP, YOU PANSY! SHUT YOUR FACE!”
Now Macintosh felt himself sweating. He knew this was going to get nasty if somepony didn't do something. He tore his gaze away from the seething crowd to its detractor, who was sweating himself. They shared a meaningful stare.
Caramel, jus' git outta here...
I-I'm not leaving you here. Just let me handle it.
“Well, if I may interject, dear ponies...even if he did not do anything 'treacherous', his behavior over the last few days is certainly suspect. It does make one wonder if he is suitable for running that massive acreage, does it not?”
“Hey, yeah! The Apple Family's been floundering all month for no good reason."
"They even stopped selling apples last week!"
This is unprofessional behavior, and not for the first time! Let the Oranges have the farm!”
“ORANGES FOREVER! ORANGES FOREVER!”
The eldest Apple sibling was truly afraid. Not because his family was so close to losing the farm, not because the townsponies had so little faith in them...but because Caramel's face was resolute and undaunted in the face of it all.
Because he knew what his baby was about to do.
“You wanna know why his behavior was suspect? YOU WANNA KNOW?!”
“SAY IT ALREADY!”
“IT'S BECAUSE HE...it's because was helping me. He was...he was helping me because...I'm cursed.”
No...you don' hafta do this, it might ruin everythin'...!
“Before you start murmuring...l-let me show you.”
“Babe...”
“I-It's okay...I can show them,” declared Caramel as he set down the medals. “I should have showed them a long time ago...”
“Just what in the six hells is going on?!”
“Is this going to be some lame trick?”
Mac helplessly watched everything he held dear in his heart risk it all as he pressed the medals under one hoof and yanked on the ribbons with the other. The ribbons fell into dozens of paper thin threads, which Caramel blew aimlessly into the crowd.
The silver medallions sat lifelessly next to him, shining in the city lights.
“...What just happened?”
“It is a lame trick! I knew it! That's just...guys? It's just a lame trick...right? Right?”
“P-Pulling on them wouldn't make them do that...would it?”
“It wouldn't,” answered Caramel, “if it weren't me pulling on them. This is what I am; I guess you could call me a 'disintegrator'. Whatever I touch falls apart, with minor exceptions. I can't buck apples since I'd ruin them, if not the trees; I can't sow seeds because they get blown away once the box crumbles; I can't push papers or important documents get destroyed...y'all get the idea. Long story short, I'm terminally jobless. I...I didn't tell y'all because I was scared of what y'all would think. But you know what?”
The crowd was speechless. So was Macintosh.
“When I told this big lug here about it,” the speechmaker intoned lovingly, “he vowed to help me overcome it. He didn't push me away or *cough* taunt me or try to prove he was better than me...he gave his time and *wheeze* resources to try and figure out if I really have to live with this. Now tell me...would an 'unprofessional', 'treacherous' pony do that?”
The closest ponies to the two of them bowed their heads in thought, while others further away started whispering, presumably about what they had just learned. Macintosh, on the other hoof, was amazed at just how attractive Caramel was at that moment. He was ready to be a little unprofessional, so to speak...but quelled the urge for the sake of presentation.
“Now...*cough* *wheeze*, even though I was *cough* afraid to *hack* tell y'all about *wheeze*”
“Get him some water!”
“J-just be sure it's *cough* clean water...”
Lyra walked over and gave Caramel a glass of mineral water. The tension in the crowd built with each swallow the pony took, waiting helplessly for him to talk again. Macintosh stood up and stroked him gently on the back, which they both knew would make the crowd nervous...but neither of them cared anymore.
“Anyway,” the brave pony finally continued, “I was scared to tell y'all about my...condition, let's say. But I'm not scared to say I'm in a relationship with a stallion, because it's...nothing to be scared of! Certainly not compared to my situation! Hells, I love this stallion...with all my heart. Just like a spouse loves his other half. It's just...a different preference, that's all.”
Even though he had heard the words several times...Mac could have died when he heard it there. He felt so free...so loved, so damn lucky to have the special somepony he did. He wasn't afraid either, not now...and never again.
“Big Macintosh is just a normal pony. He works on the farm, he does favors for other ponies, he laughs, he cries...just like the rest of you, just like the rest of us. Sure he's not perfect, sure he makes mistakes...”
Macintosh trembled as he looked to the left. Caramel had a sad smile on his face...which he felt himself making in return. They both held a gaze as they mouthed the words “I'm sorry”.
Turning back to the crowd, the beautiful savior continued: “...but who doesn't? Nopony's perfect--”
“No one.”
“Oh, hush. My point is we shouldn't expect too much of him, just like we shouldn't expect too much of any one pony. And we certainly shouldn't do this. Being gay doesn't change anything about that; I would know. I'm not asking y'all to change how you think about the entire world. All I'm asking y'all is to see him...to see me...for what we really are. Not for what y'all want us to be...”
Suddenly, Lyra walked in front of Caramel with Bon-Bon, the latter holding up a decidedly different sign from the others. It said “Protect Ponyville From Itself.” Everypony in the crowd either gasped or whispered about them nuzzling.
“I was never sure what to call us,” started Lyra, “but I figure 'normal ponies' fits nicely. Don't you, hon?”
“I do, sweetie,” answered Bon-Bon. “Although there's nothing 'normal' about you.”
“N-Not now, sugar,” Lyra threatened.
Looking at the four of them, the former mob was finally losing its momentum. The murmuring became disorganized and diverse.
“They're right; this is ridiculous.”
“I can't believe I actually made this sign.”
“I can't believe he made those ribbons disappear!”
“Has anyone seen Twilight and them? They seem to have run off somewhere...”
“I ate candies from her store. To think all this time...”
“I need to check inventory still...”
“Ah love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“What they said.”
“Oh, don't be lazy!”
The mob was officially broken. The remaining ponies (apart from the upper class) were awkwardly hanging around the scene of the crime, probably trying to reconcile what just happened with who they were. But in any case, both Big Macintosh and Caramel knew that the latter wasn't done. The former stood up and unabashedly nuzzled his stallion. He was nuzzled in return.
“Y'all that are left see what the others are doing? They're going back to their lives. That what y'all should do, too. We have different things to worry about, things that actually matter. Like...like where Twilight and them are? We should get a search party going!”
“Yeah, where did they go? I'm starting to get worried.”
“We should look north of town!”
“YEAH, LET'S GO!”
Mac did a double take. He was so distracted that he almost forgot his sister was missing. He decided that everything was calm again, he'd join that search party.
“A-And what about this upper class/lower class deal? We need to decide just what's going to happen before it gets out of hoof!”
“By jove, he speaks sense!”
“I like the way he put it; maybe we really can deal with it!”
“Let's show them what we're made of, hon!”
“THREE CHEERS FOR PROGRESS!”
Mac was reeling at what was happening. His boyfriend had just dissolved a riot into coalition for bettering Ponyville. He had the strongest feeling there was something the poor pony was good at!
“WE CAN DO THIS! GO OUT AND MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE! GO OUT AND UNDO THE WRONGS OF THE PAST! WE'RE NOT ALONE, AND WE'LL NEVER GIVE UP!”
“YEAH!”
With that, all the congregated ponies ran off in different directions, each tasked with either assigned or personal missions. The deed was done...and the word was out. It was like waking up from a bad dream...
It's over. He's here, he forgives me...an' nopony minds.
Finally free to do so, Mac pulled Mel to him and laid a big, wet one on him, which quickly turned into an oral caress...which quickly turned into making out in earnest. He wanted nothing but to be permanently melded to his little miracle worker, writhing in pure bliss as the night overtook them. But eventually, Mel did pull them apart.
“Um, babe?”, a breathless Caramel asked.
“Yes, you magnificent, wonderful thing, you?”, Macintosh whispered huskily from underneath him.
“...The rich ponies are staring at us. I love you, but can we do this later?”
Freezing in place and eyes wide open, the enthusiastic pony shifted his eyes to observe the aristocrats quickly turning away from observing him and his playmate. He saw that some of them, as unexpected as it was, had deep blushes they were trying to hide (even some of the males). The others looked either disgusted or at a loss, but that was just the way, he supposed. He just grinned sheepishly at all of them as Caramel climbed off of him.
“Sorry about that. We, uh...well, it's pretty obvious,” Caramel offered. Big Macintosh got up to his hooves, feeling positive that he was blushing deep enough for them to see.
“Q-quite,” Fancy Pants confirmed, hiding a blush of his own. “Anyhow, I just wanted to commend you on your speech there, Mr...Caramel?”
“Yes, and thank you. I just told everypony the truth, i-it was nothing special.”
“Nothing special? You did it brilliantly,” he continued with an eager smile. “You really had that crowd going, and I was hanging on every word myself! You may deny it, but you have a knack for speechmaking. The last part was a bit trite, but with some training, we can fix issues like that nicely. It's so fitting in that...well, if you would permit me, I may have a solution to your 'terminal joblessness', as you put it.”
“...I don't really believe you, but go on,” said Caramel, sounding confused. Macintosh laid a hoof on his poor pony's shoulder to reassure him.
“I did sense a great sorrow in your words earlier...and you have my condolences. I won't pretend to understand, but it does give you a great deal of leverage in our changing times. What I'm proposing here,” said Fancy Pants before pausing, “is for you to give words of wisdom to others suffering across Equestria. Our dear Princess Celestia is far too busy to do so herself, not to mention these ponies need...a common touch.”
“Beg yer pardon?”, asked Caramel and Big Macintosh in unison.
“Yes, exactly! They need somepony who's dealt with hardship like your good self. And since you are...afflicted, and it pains me to see how that can even happen, it would certainly bolster those who simply need some meaningful encouragement. My friends and I would pay for your services, of course.”
“...Pay?” Neither of them could believe their ears.
“Ahem...yes. Come by tomorrow and we'll discuss it in detail? We can, er, replace your medal ribbons as well if you like.”
“Um...”, Caramel hesitated as he looked to his partner. Mac couldn't believe he even had to ask, nodding emphatically.
“Eeyup.”
“Y-You've got a speechmaker, then!”
“Splendid!”, cheered Fancy Pants as his friends sighed in...relief? “See you on the morrow, then!”
With that, the fancy ponies cantered to their fancy homes to sleep fancily in their fancy beds. At least, that's what Mac assumed happened whenever he wasn't looking.
“...I have a job.”
Upon hearing the words, the realization struck Macintosh as well. They had done it.
“I have a real...paying job. And it looks like I can pull it off...”
Mac felt like he had just finished ploughing a field. The weight was gone, and he could take pleasure in the result. He nuzzled the employee.
“Ah'm ridiculously proud o' you, babe.”
“...I'm proud of me, too. I...I HAVE A JOB! I-I-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
When he saw Caramel jumping and shouting right then, he knew he didn't need anything else. He had never seen the sweet pony that happy, ever. As much pain as he caused him, he also made him laugh at how wonderful life could be. He was done. This was his life, and he was pleased.
The overeager hugging and licking was nice, too. The two of them held each other in the middle of the square until Caramel pushed himself off of Macintosh.
“...He said I have a knack for speechmaking," said Caramel pensively.
“...Eeyup.” This didn't sound good.
“I have a job skill, and I didn't even know about it.”
So whut? Ain't that whut you had been tryin' t'do before, anyway?
“Eeyup.”
“...But I couldn't have known about it unless I had a speech to make.”
There you go.
“...Nnope.”
“A-And I probably just developed this skill as I kept thinking about...my life.”
Mac nuzzled his stressed stallion. He wasn't too surprised that Mel apparently didn't take compliments easily.
“...Ain't life funny like that? Haha!”
Thank Celestia. Ah needta git off this street an' not come back fer a long while.
Suddenly, he felt a tail brushing against his neck. He took a very deep breath to clear his head.
“Well, then,” Caramel intoned, “it's time we got home. We've both earned some rest after today.”
"Uh, actually--"
"CRUD."
“Eeyup.”
"W-Well," Caramel insisted, "I don't mean to sound awful, but...maybe we could let them look for tonight? Tomorrow you and I will rip the earth apart if we have to."
Mac stroked his chin. He felt the stubble growing on it as he weighed his options. His decision? Well...it would probably be best to look for them sooner rather than later, not to mention she was his sister, and--
Mel snickered softly.
"E-Eeyup."
“Good. After all...you must be exhausted after putting up with that horrible mob.”
“...Eeyup...”
“You must want to unwind. I know just the thing that would help! But first, I just have to know...”
The scandalized pony felt like he was going to explode. The tension was unbearable...!
“...E-Eeyup?!”
“...Do you know anything about it?”
Whut?
“Whut? Ah don'...”
Now he knew the blush was visible.
“Oh. N-Nnope.”
Caramel groaned before turning to face the farm.
“Well, crud. I don't know anything either. I guess...,” the tempter suddenly drew out, “we'll just have to figure it out as we go along.”
Feeling the tension break, the temptee saw his little pony walking ahead of him...and grinned the stadium grin. Today was another roller coaster...and it was time he got off.