“-and while the dragon was chasing after Dust Storm the rest of his troops flew up and BAM!” Rumble flew up and pounded his light gray hooves against the ceiling. “They drove their spears right into his wing!”
His classmates pounded their desks below him, laughing and cheering on his performance. Even Miss Cheerilee was beaming up at him. The feeling was exhilarating. Dust Storm was one of his favorite pegasi legends, and sharing it with his friends was a treat. At least, that's what he wanted them to think. The truth was that this whole shebang was for one pony and one pony alone.
Rumble listed to the side, faking a wing cramp. “The dragon was wounded! One wing alone couldn’t hold up his enormous size! Down he went,” Rumble swung his body side-to-side like a pendulum, dropping down with every swing. “Down, down, plummeting to the Ear-oof!”
Cheerilee had jumped and pulled him down with a laugh. “Enough! That’s enough!” She set Rumble down on the floor and gave a smile that matched the flowers on her cutie mark. “Thank you, Rumble, for that enthusiastic book report. That’s an A+ if I ever saw one!”
He stamped a hoof. “But I wasn’t finished!”
She gently pushed him towards his desk. “I know dear, but the day almost is. I have to make an announcement before I dismiss you all.”
But the epic tale of heroism and romance was incomplete! Now she wouldn’t get to hear how Dust Storm’s courage finally won him the admiration of his love! Rumble sighed and walked back to his desk to thunderous applause. Apple Bloom whistled and whooped. Featherweight slapped him on the back as he passed. Rumble took his seat and looked for the one opinion that mattered to him.
Scootaloo turned around and flashed him a smile.
Totally worth it. It didn’t matter that Cheerilee stopped him anymore. Get her to notice you by telling a romantic story didn't exactly get to the romantic part, but he would still call Phase I of Operation: Confess His Crush on Scootaloo a success.
Cheerilee cleared her throat and addressed her class in her sing-song voice. "Alright my little ponies, I'm sure some of you know, but today is a special day. Scootaloo is celebrating her birthday! Now I would ask you to sing with me, but I understand that we've all been invited to her party at Sugar Cube Corner tonight!"
The classroom erupted in applause again. Scootaloo jumped on top of her chair, clasped her front hooves together, and shook them on either side of her head. Rumble smiled at her, safely behind her back. She was so cool.
The bell rang to end the school day. Scootaloo, not surprisingly, dashed out the door with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle as soon as she could. Rumble hung back to avoid the rush. He kept his saddle bag safe and close. When the crowd thinned out, he went into Phase II.
Rumble slipped into the bathroom. He knew nothing bad had happened, but the saddle bag was out of his sight for a whole twenty minutes at recess. Thankfully, he was nervous for no reason. The purple flower he bought that morning was still resting on top of his books. It still smelled as sweet and looked as perfect as ever when he pulled it out. Rumble set it aside and pulled out his comb.
He worked it through his black mane while going over his plan again. Scootaloo was a hands-on filly, so she would probably be at Sugar Cube Corner to help with her own party. His entry point would be the second floor; he knew Pinkie Pie usually left her window open during the day. If she was still in her room, he would throw something shiny on the floor to distract her. Then he would move down to the first floor. If he was fast enough, not too many ponies would have arrived. He’d find Scootaloo, hopefully alone, give her the flower, and tell her his feelings. If she rejected him, or if he just made things weird, he’d bow out and the party would go on. It was a good plan.
Except for that stupid flower! The more he thought about it, the less he liked it. Rumble bought it because it was purple, and that girlie magazine of Cloudchaser’s he flipped through mentioned something about “Bringing out your eye color.” Except it didn’t match her eye color! Or...Or did it? Rumble dropped his comb with a disgusted sigh. She smiled right at him five minutes ago! How could he not remember her eye color?
His stomach twisted in knots. The flower just looked so pathetic lying on the bathroom counter. That was supposed to impress Scootaloo? Scootaloo, the filly that hung out with Rainbow Dash? The filly that risked life and limb in the quest for her cutie mark while he did nothing about his own blank flank? She was awesome, and he...helped Rainbow Dash with the tornado that one time. And...Yeah.
She was going to laugh in his face. Her friends would laugh in his face. Every guest that came to the party would hear the story of what he tried to do and laugh in his face. Scootaloo would tell them all personally because it would be that hilarious to her.
What was he thinking?
You have to try and not think. A jolt went through Rumble's body. His brother’s voice played in his mind again. You won’t be able to trust yourself. Your guts will turn against you. Your heart will tell you both “go” and “no.” Your head will focus on one little thing and turn it into a litany of problems. You’re going to feel like you’re on a chopping block, and every instinct in your body will scream at you to STAY AWAY.
That was exactly how he felt. Again, Rumble was impressed that Thunderlane actually knew what he was talking about. That was the second time today he tried to talk himself out of his plan. The first was before he launched into his performance of Dust Storm’s story, and that earned him a smile from Scootaloo. He had nothing to worry about. After all, he still had his secret weapon.
Rumble reached back into his bag and pulled out a strip of black cloth. He first deployed it the previous night when Flitter and Cloudchaser joined the two brothers for dinner. Rumble could still hear their giggles as he wrapped the cloth around the back of his neck. Looking back, wearing it last night was probably the smartest decision he had ever made. It prompted the conversation that led the three older ponies to help him hammer out his plan. Rumble considered himself lucky to have their help, and finished tying the knot in front of his throat.
The bow tie was ready to go.
Rumble slid the stem of Scootaloo’s flower between the tie and his neck, holding it in place under the left side of his chin. He took a deep breath and studied himself in the mirror. Mane combed down, bow tie in place, flower kept safe yet ready to go; he thought he looked good. Phase II, Look like you know what you’re doing, was complete.
Now all he had to do was get out of the bathroom. Yep, getting out of the bathroom was the next step on his way to Sugar Cube Corner. On the count of three he was going to get out of the bathroom and put himself on that chopping block. Actually, should he use the bathroom before leaving the bathroom? Were there any other bathrooms he could use on the way to-
SLAP!
Rumble rubbed his cheek with the same hoof he used to slap it. He was doing it again! He had to get out of here before he started wondering why they were called bathrooms with no bath tubs. Now that he mentioned it...
No! Rumble grabbed his bag, turned, and charged out of the bathroom, forcing his feet to move faster than his brain. Miss Cheerilee jumped back as the door blasted open. “Oh, Rumble! You’re still here. I thought I heard a noise and-what is...?” Cheerilee’s eyes dropped to his neck. She blushed and raised a hoof to her mouth.
Rumble stared her down until her smile spread past her hoof and Cheerilee doubled over in giggles. She actually sat down in one of the kids’ desks to support herself. Rumble smirked and trotted past her to the exit, his doubts once again erased. All three mares he knew best in Ponyville couldn’t contain themselves at the sight of his new accessory. No filly could resist the bow tie!
He stepped out onto the playground with high hopes and eager anticipation. Other colts and fillies played on the equipment before going home. Featherweight tried to wave him over, but Rumble just waved back and trotted on. He was focused, he was on a mission, and nothing could stop him!
“Oh, Diamond Tiara, would you look at that bow tie?”
“Uck, colts today. They have no sense of fashion.”
Rumble stopped in his tracks. What?! He spun around to see two fillies, one pink and the other gray, one wearing a tiara and the other glasses. They were walking towards him, eyeing him with a hunger and showing smiles that didn’t quite reach the rest of their faces. He knew their names, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, but he never really talked with them before.
Silver Spoon lowered her face, looking over the rim of her glasses. “Looking at it from the front, it’s even worse.”
Diamond Tiara studied Rumble, and a light went off in her eyes. “Hey, you’re the one who gave the book report at the end of class. Bumble, right?”
“N-No, it’s Rumble.”
”Stumble, got it,” Diamond Tiara corrected herself. “That’s a good name, because that’s what you were about to do.”
Rumble froze as the two girls began to circle him, examining him head-to-toe, never changing their expressions. “What do you mean?”
Diamond Tiara ignored him. “What do you think, Silver Spoon? There were Pinkie Pie sightings all over Ponyville at school kids’ houses yesterday, the quiet colt suddenly launches into a grand performance, and now he walks out in his own little version of formal wear. Coincidence?”
“I doubt it,” the gray filly answered. “He’s trying to woo the birthday girl! But...he’s missing something. Where’s the gift?”
“That is a good point. Doesn’t he know anything about Scootaloo? He’ll need something big to impress her.”
He was starting to sweat. The spotlight of the fillies’ stares saw right through him, revealing every flaw in him, pulling up every doubt he had about this day. “She...never seemed like that type of filly to me. Are you sure?”
Diamond Tiara passed his field of vision, and Silver Spoon took her place. "You're doubting us? Us? The most popular fillies in school? Of course we're sure. We know Scootaloo better than you do."
That made sense. He saw these two talking with Scootaloo and her friends plenty of times before. The circle continued, bringing Diamond Tiara back in front of him. "You better have something besides books in that bag of yours."
Oh, he was sunk. "I...I got her this flower."
"That?!" Diamond Tiara snatched the flower away from his neck and glared at it in fury. "A flower? A flower? You think you can impress a girl that easily?"
Silver Spoon walked around to take the flower herself. Her lip curled up in disgust. "It's not...even...a rose." She dropped her hoof, letting Scootaloo's flower fall to the ground.
Rumble's body started to shake as he watched it lie in the dirt. "M-Miss Roseluck was charging three bits for a rose. I-I didn't have enough after buying the tie and-"
A gray hoof reached out and pulled on an end of his tie, undoing the knot. "This little rat tail set you back that much?"
Rumble jumped back, slapping her hoof away. "Flitter and Cloudchaser liked it! Miss Cheerilee liked it! Scootaloo probably will too!"
Diamond Tiara gave a joyless laugh. "Easy there, Dumble," she said, walking forward. "We saw the whole thing before you walked out of school. Cheerilee wasn't giving you an 'Oh, that's cute' laugh. It was more of a...more of a..." She waved her hoof in a circle, trying to think of a word.
Silver Spoon stepped in. "It was a 'This foal is going to humiliate himself, and he doesn't even know it' kind of laugh. She doubled over and covered her face, right? She was so embarrassed for you that she couldn't even bear the sight of your face."
The pink filly put a hoof on his shoulder. "Is that what Flitter and Cloudchaser did? Come to think of it, isn't Cloudchaser dating your brother? Can you really trust them to give you an honest opinion?"
He was sure that the two fillies could hear the last of his spirit breaking like glass.
"Now this," Diamond Tiara said, "is an important question. The most important question you have to answer right now. How many bits do you have?" One, but Rumble didn't say that. He just bowed his head and didn't answer at all. The two fillies shared a sigh. Diamond Tiara leaned in closer to whisper in his ear. "You don't have a prayer do you?"
He shook his head.
Silver Spoon joined him on his other side. "Oh, don't be like that. Did Dust Storm give up that quickly?" Rumble's head snapped to the side. The gray filly smiled and continued. "Didn't you say he wasn't rich enough for the chief's daughter? That's why he went to smite the dragon, to prove his worth to her and her father."
"That's right," Diamond Tiara said in his other ear. "You can't buy Scootaloo anything impressive, so you'll just have to do something impressive."
"And we had just the thing in mind."
Rumble turned his head back and forth as they spoke. "You...You do? You'll actually help me with Scootaloo?"
There was a chuckle on Diamond Tiara's side. "We all want Scootaloo to have a memorable party, don't we?"
"So here's what we were thinking," Silver Spoon began. "You know how Mr. Cake always carries out the giant cake when every pony starts to sing Happy Birthday, right? That will be the perfect time for you!"
Rumble was confused. "The perfect time for what?"
"A stunt! After all, you know who her idol is, don't you?"
"It will be the one moment in the whole party when every pony is focused in one place," Diamond Tiara explained. "It's your chance to show Scootaloo your stuff. Dive! Flip! Roll! Bounce from wall to wall! Make Rainbow Dash green with envy!"
Rumble was even more confused. "That...doesn't sound right. I mean, that's supposed to be Scootaloo's moment. And wouldn't that distract Mr. Cake? If he dropped the cake that would ruin everything." Suddenly, Rumble felt under the spotlight again. The fillies glared at him, and then looked to each other.
"I think he's doubting us again, Silver Spoon. Can you believe that?"
"I guess that's what we get for helping little boys in affairs of the heart."
"You have a choice to make," the pink filly hissed, squeezing his shoulder as hard as she could. "You won't get anywhere if you can't get Scootaloo to notice you."
"That is so true. No risk means no reward."
The two fillies started walking away, heading back to the playground. Diamond Tiara looked over her shoulder as she went. "I think we all agree that Little Miss Blank Flank deserves the best." One of her hooves crushed the little flower. "How about it, Mumble? Can you look me in the eye and tell me you're the best for Scootaloo?"
Rumble couldn't. He couldn't even look at them. His eyes stayed on the flower until they were gone, and a breeze carried off the purple petals. All he could do was turn and make for Ponyville, head down, tail trailing in the dust behind him.