Wonder-Breezies

by Metool Bard

'Bolts on de Breesh

"No. Just, just no. I'm not doing this. It's horse apples."

Haymaker sighed. Out of all the ponies he worked with as a personal trainer, Lightning Dust was perhaps the most infuriating. Half the time, she didn't even come to him to train. She came to him to gripe about being kicked out of the Wonderbolt Academy. It was understandable at first (everypony needs to vent their frustrations every once in a while), but after a few months, it got old. So, he proposed a solution to the problem. A solution that Lightning Dust didn't want any part of.

"Look, kid. You've been complaining to me about the Wonderbolts for months now," he said sternly. "This obsession of yours ain't healthy. You had one chance; you blew it; you move on. And I think this expedition is the perfect way to do just that."

Lightning pouted and folded her forelegs. "First of all, I didn't 'blow' anything. I got kicked out because Rainbow Snitch decided to be a jerk and tell on me. If that didn't happen, I'd still be a cadet."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, kid," said Haymaker sardonically.

Lightning ignored Haymaker's comment and continued. "Second of all, I know I'm Wonderbolt material. You know I'm Wonderbolt material. So why aren't you helping me live up to my potential so that I can get back into the Wonderbolts, huh?!"

"Because I'm not a freaking miracle worker," Haymaker growled. "I told you that the first day you started training with me. I talked about it with Spitfire, she said she kicked you out for a reason, and that's the end of that. It's just not gonna happen. But you somehow refuse to accept that, so I decided to find something to take your mind off of the Wonderbolts."

"Which brings me to my third point," said Lightning Dust. "And that is if you think that I'd be caught dead playing beekeeper to a bunch of stupid bugs, you're out of your freaking mind!"

Haymaker deadpanned. "The breezies aren't 'bugs,' kid. They're fairies. You're a pegasus; you should know this."

"Bugs, fairies, pah-tae-to, pah-ta-to," Lightning said dismissively. "The point is that I'm not gonna degrade myself with this froo-froo nonsense."

Haymaker rubbed the bridge of his nose with his hoof. "Wow, you really don't get it, do ya? This isn't 'froo-froo nonsense,' kid. The breezies are an important part of pegasus society, and you'd be a fool to ignore it."

"I don't get what makes 'em so special," Lightning huffed. "If anything, they seem to be mooching off of us. Why do pegasi have to create that stupid breeze every time they do their thing, huh?"

"Well, that's all the more reason you should volunteer for this expedition," said Haymaker. "It'd be good for you to learn a thing or two about your heritage outside of the Wonderbolts."

"You're just doing this so that I'll stop complaining, aren't you?" said Lightning.

Haymaker shrugged. "I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But the other part is that I worry about you, kid. If you hold a grudge like this all your life, you're never gonna be happy. So as your personal trainer and a friend, I'm recommending you to go on this expedition and forget about the Wonderbolts."

"Not happening, old man," said Lightning, shaking her head. "No way. Not in a million moons. I am not volunteering for this prissy field trip, and there's nothing you can do to make me go. And that's..."

"...why you shouldn't startle the breezies. They get very anxious, and that could lead to..."

Lightning Dust wasn't listening. She was busy sulking as she flew eastward with two other pegasi. One of them was Cloudchaser; a pony she recognized from the Wonderbolt Academy. She seemed a bit more interested in the lecture, but not by much. The pony at the head of the trio made a face.

"Hey, are you two listening to me?!" she snapped.

"Huh, wha?" said Lightning, snapping out of her funk for a second. "Oh, yeah. Sure I was."

"Okay, what did I just say?"

Lightning's mind went blank. "Uh, um... Something about breezies?"

"Smooth," said Cloudchaser, rolling her eyes. "Flitter was just telling us about how important it is not to scare the breezies."

"Very good, Cloudy. I'm so glad one of you is paying attention," said Flitter, giving Lightning Dust the evil eye.

"Yeah, well. It's not easy," said Cloudchaser, rubbing the back of her head. "I mean, let's face it, Flit. You're not really good at giving lectures. Heck, the only reason I've been able to stay with you so far is that I really want to know about all this stuff."

Lightning Dust did a double take. "Wait, you want to know about this stuff? But, you're a Wonderbolt Cadet. Why do you care?"

"What business is it of yours?" Cloudchaser retorted. "Am I not allowed to spend time with my sister and share something she's passionate about?"

"Look, I'm just saying that no Wonderbolt should be forced to do this," said Lightning. "It's humiliating!"

"Says the pony who's not a Wonderbolt," said Cloudchaser.

Lightning's eye twitched. "You take that back!"

"Both of you, stop it right now!" Flitter scolded. "We're not gonna be able to harvest any nectar if you guys keep bickering like this."

"Alright, alright. Sorry, Flit," said Cloudchaser.

"Hmph," Lightning Dust huffed.

Flitter sighed. "This is gonna be a long day," she muttered. "Anyway, we're almost at the entrance to the breezies' home. If either of you have any questions, now's the time."

"Yeah, I've got a question," said Lightning. "Why are we doing this, anyway? What do we need that stupid nectar for?"

"For your information, that 'stupid nectar' is a key ingredient to lots of different medicines ponies use every day," said Flitter. "Back when Equestria was first founded, Private Pansy was almost taken by the feather flu. But Clover the Clever managed to create a potion using the nectar of the breezies, and it helped her fight off the disease. Ever since then, the pegasi have dedicated themselves to learning all they could about the breezies so that we could have their nectar."

"So, wait. Are you telling me that the breezies' nectar cures the feather flu?" asked Cloudchaser.

"Technically, it's only a key ingredient to the medicine. And it doesn't cure the disease; it only weakens it so that the body can fight it properly," said Flitter. "But that's pretty close, Cloudy."

Lightning groaned. "Ugh~. Sooooo boring! Can we just get this over with? We're moving so slow!"

"That's, kinda the point," said Cloudchaser. "This is a long trip, Lightning Dust. We shouldn't tire ourselves out."

"Speak for yourself," Lightning boasted. "I could probably get to that nest in no time and still have plenty of energy to spare."

"It's not a nest; it's a grotto," Flitter corrected. "Besides, we're supposed to be meeting somepony here, and we don't want to zoom right past her. Ah, there she is now."

Lightning and Cloudchaser looked ahead, and both of their jaws dropped. Flying in front of a large rock formation was a light blue pegasus with a sharp white mane wearing a pair of rose-colored glasses. She had a Cutie Mark of a blue horseshoe surrounded by a golden aura. Cloudchaser immediately flew right up to her.

"L-Lieutenant Commander Fleetfoot!" she stammered, saluting the Wonderbolt. "Cloudchaser, Wonderbolt Cadet First Class, reporting for duty, ma'am!"

"At easse, cadet," said Fleetfoot with a sigh. "I'm not on active duty."

Lightning Dust rubbed her eyes in disbelief. A Wonderbolt? Taking part in a nectar harvest? How was this possible?

"Oh, right. Sorry," said Cloudchaser, blushing profusely.

"Ms. Fleetfoot here has graciously volunteered to harvest the breezies' nectar with us," said Flitter. "Honestly, I was just as surprised as you when I saw her name in the volunteer applications."

"Jusst to sset the record sstraight, I'm only here becausse of Ssurprisse," said Fleetfoot, a bit of disdain seeping into her voice. "She'ss the one who ssigned me up for thiss. I'm guesssing it wass a prank, but you can never tell with a mare like Ssurprisse. Anyway, Sspitfire and I agreed that it would be bad form for me to bow out, sso here I am."

Just then, an idea popped into Lightning Dust's head. Wait a minute, she thought. Fleetfoot's also here against her will. And she's a Wonderbolt. If I play my cards right, I can make sure she puts in a good word for me, and I'll be back in the Wonderbolts where I belong!

"Well, it's a good thing you decided to join us!" said Lightning, flying up to Fleetfoot. "This is an important part of the pegasus legacy, after all. Did I mention that I'm your biggest fan?"

Fleetfoot lowered her shades. "I have a lot of biggesst fanss. You're gonna have to be more sspeccific."

"Oh, right!" said Lightning Dust, clearing her throat. "I'm Lightning Dust. Maybe you've heard of me."

Fleetfoot furrowed her brow. "Hmm. Lightning Dusst, Lightning Dusst... Oh, you mean that big shot pony who got kicked out of the Academy for exccesssive usse of a tornado?"

Lightning gulped. "Um, where did you hear that?"

"Sspitfire told me," said Fleetfoot. "Honesstly, I would've jusst demoted you if I were in her horsseshoess, but it'ss her call. Sstill, I heard that you were quite talented, and it'd be a shame to let that talent go to wasste."

Lightning Dust beamed. "Yep, that's me. The most talented flyer outside of the Wonderbolts," she said. "I'm actually trying to reapply, but my application keeps getting blocked."

"No ssurprisse there," said Fleetfoot. "Oncce Sspitfire makess a deccission like thiss, there'ss not much that can disssuade her."

"Well, if at first you don't succeed, try try again, I always say," said Lightning with a chuckle. "In fact, I think you and I could get the nectar from those breezies in nothing flat."

Fleetfoot grinned. "I in no way disspute that," she said. "I like your sstyle, Lightning Dusst. You've really got moxie."

"If by 'moxie' you mean she knows how to stroke your ego," Cloudchaser muttered under her breath.

"Cloudy, remember what we talked about," Flitter said sternly. "I know it'll be difficult working with Lightning Dust, but as long as she's here, I don't want you starting anything."

"I know, I know," said Cloudchaser. "So, is that where the breezies live?"

Flitter turned to where Cloudchaser was pointing. Inside the rock formation was a large hole that radiated a purple light. She smiled.

"Yep," she said. "We're here."

"Finally," said Lightning Dust. "Aright, let's get this over with. Fleetfoot and I haven't got all day."

Flitter sighed. "Right. Well, first thing we do is that we have to call them out. I'll handle that part, so just give me a minute."

She then flew up to the hole and cupped her hooves over her mouth.

"Hoy~," she said in a barely audible whisper.

All was quiet for a time, and not a single breezie came out to greet her. She tried again.

"Hoy~," she said.

But again, the breezies didn't respond. Lightning Dust began fidgeting in midair.

"Jeeze laweeze, this is taking forever!" she groused.

"Shh~," Cloudchaser hissed. "Flitter said we shouldn't scare them!"

"Yeah, but they're not gonna hear us like this!" Lightning growled.

"Just hold your horses, will ya?" said Cloudchaser. "Flitter knows what she's doing."

"Well, she's not doing it fast enough," said Lightning. "Here, let me!"

Before Cloudchaser could stop her, Lightning flew up to the hole and shoved Flitter out of the way. She then took a deep breath.

"HEY, YOU STUPID BREEZIES!" she bellowed at the top of her lungs.

A collection of angry noises emanated from the hole. Flitter swallowed.

"Uh-oh," she said. "Guys, we should drop altitude. Like, now!"

Cloudchaser and Fleetfoot complied. Lightning, however, simply scoffed.

"Pfft. Quit being such babies," she said. "They're just bugs. What harm can they...?"

She was interrupted by a strong breeze washing over her body. It caused her to shiver a bit, but she still stood firm.

"See? Nothing to worry about," she said. "It actually feels quite nithe. Whath the...?"

The cool feeling from the breeze was slowly replaced with a numb, prickly sensation. It was as if every part of her body was falling asleep. Unable to feel her wings anymore, she plummeted to the ground, only to be caught by Fleetfoot.

"Gotcha," she said, looping around to Flitter and Cloudchaser. "You mind telling me what the heck that wass?"

"Breeze magic," said Flitter. "It's what the breezies use to defend themselves. Since they're in their own dimension, they can use it without limits. But out here, they need the breeze of the pegasi to protect them."

"Ah, so that's why you make such a big deal about that breeze," said Cloudchaser, nodding in comprehension. "I thought it was because they couldn't fly on their own or something."

"No, they can do that just fine," said Flitter. "The breeze just activates their magic so no predators can steal their pollen."

"Sso, um, how long iss she gonna be like thiss?" asked Fleetfoot, prodding Lightning Dust with her hoof.

Flitter sighed. "Hang on, I've got an antidote," she said, reaching into her saddlebag. "Coincidentally, this is also made from breezie nectar."

She took out a small vial full of a sticky yellow liquid. As she forced the contents of the liquid down Lightning's throat, a small breezie flew out of the hole and right up to the pegasi.

"Ick sherph ven sheph, ein sherpen, ein sherpen einder shynderhoof?!" it snipped.

Cloudchaser blinked. "What?"

"Roughly translated, he basically said 'What's the big idea?'" said Flitter.

"Wait, you know our language?" asked the breezie.

Cloudchaser's eyes went wide. "You know ours?"

"Aye," said the breezie. "I'm the only one who does. I tried teachin' the others, but they're jus' not keen to learn."

"I, see," said Cloudchaser.

Flitter cleared her throat. "Anyway, I've been studying the breezie language with my friend, Fluttershy. She..."

"Ah, you know Fluttershy, eh?" said the breezie with a warm smile. "Well, any friend of Fluttershy is a friend o'mine. The name's Seabreeze. Pleasure to meet ya."

"Um, likewise," said Flitter. "Anyway, I'm Flitter, and this is my sister Cloudchaser. And these here are Fleetfoot and Lightning Dust."

"Uh, hi," said Fleetfoot, still appearing to be confused.

"Ugh, my head~," Lightning moaned as she recovered from the breeze.

Seabreeze narrowed his eyes. "You're the one who woke us up, eh? Doncha know how easily startled my brethren are? We thought we were under attack."

"She, really didn't mean any harm," said Flitter. "We're just here to collect your nectar."

"Oh, it's that time again, is it?" said Seabreeze, shaking his head. "Tch, every flippin' year, it's the same thing. Oh well, can't fight it, I suppose. Hang on, lass. I'll go get the others."

He then flew up back to his home.

"So, now what?" asked Cloudchaser.

"Well, when the breezies come out, they'll bring their pollen pouches with them," said Flitter. "Those pouches now house the nectar they made from the pollen, which they use to feed their young. As such, making them part with it is not easy."

"Sso, what do we do?" inquired Fleetfoot.

"There are three basic methods to coaxing the nectar from the breezies," said Flitter. "I'll go over each of them, and you guys can pick whichever you think is best."

"Whoopie," said Lightning Dust, rolling her eyes.

"Alright, we're back."

Seabreeze emerged from the hole. This time, he was accompanied by an entire swarm of breezies, each carrying to small pouches of nectar.

"Excellent," said Flitter. "Alright, let's start with the first method..."

"This is the most common method used by pegasi, and it's also the easiest," said Flitter. "All you have to do is fly alongside the breezies and dance with them. If they like your dancing, they give you their nectar."

Lightning Dust pretended to gag. "Blech. Why do I have to dance for a bunch of bugs? That's the prissiest thing I've ever..."

"Oh, sso it'ss like one of our showss, and the breeziess are your wingponiess," said Fleetfoot, stroking her chin. "That'ss very interessting."

Lightning Dust overheard this and tried to backpedal. "Er, by 'prissiest,' I of course meant 'coolest.' Yeah."

"Nice save," said Cloudchaser sarcastically.

Flitter and Seabreeze stared at each other for a moment and shared a shrug.

"Alright, who wants to try it first?" asked Flitter.

"Thiss one'ss all mine," said Fleetfoot with a complacent grin. "I'll have them eating out of my hoof. You jusst ssit back and enjoy the show."

With that, she took off into the air to meet the breezies. All around her, they started dancing and twittering. Fleetfoot kept a solid pace with them, occasionally busting out a trick. Some breezies tried to mimic her, only to swirl out of control. Whenever that happened, Fleetfoot pulled back and allowed them to rejoin the group. All the while, the three ponies below were watching in awe. After a few minutes, the performance was over, and the breezies erupted into applause.

"And that, my friendss, iss how we do it in the Wonderboltss," said Fleetfoot with a bow.

"Those were some nice moves, lass!" said Seabreeze. "What do you fellas think?"

The breezies responded by dumping their nectar out of their pouches. Flitter was at the ready with several vials to catch the droplets of nectar as they rained from the sky.

"Good work, Ms. Fleetfoot," said Flitter. "Not that I'd expect anything else from a Wonderbolt such as yourself."

"Alright, I'm next," said Lightning Dust, spreading her wings. "If they liked that, they're sure to like this."

Fleetfoot smirked. "The ssky'ss all yourss, Lightning Dusst. Let'ss ssee what you've got."

She then flew back to the ground while Lightning Dust took her place amongst the breezies. Lightning grinned.

This'll impress Fleetfoot for sure, she thought.

Before the breezies could form up again, she took off, leaving her signature lightning trail behind. She flew around and about with the randomness of a hummingbird, busting out moves left and right. The breezies couldn't even begin to keep up.

"What the farsnip is that lass doin'?" groaned Seabreeze, smacking his forehead. "We can't dance to that!"

"Lightning Dust, slow down!" Flitter hollered. "You're making the breezies agitated!"

"Can't hear you! Too busy being awesome!" Lightning Dust hollered back.

Fleetfoot sighed and shook her head. "I'm beginning to ssee why Sspitfire gave her the boot," she muttered.

Finally, Lightning Dust was done. All of the breezies who tried to keep up stopped in midair, trying to catch their breath.

"Aw, yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!" said Lightning. "Alright, how much nectar is that worth?"

In response, the breezies gave Lightning a cold glare. Lightning stared back at them, slightly confused.

"Um, hello?"

"Eiker berieken afagein! Esa imra ifaren! Ackpthet tzut!" the breezies bickered.

"What did they say?" asked Cloudchaser.

"You, uh, don't want me to translate that, lass," said Seabreeze.

The breezies then flew back into their home.

"Hey, where are you going?" asked Lightning Dust. "What about the neccht—?"

She was interrupted by the breeze magic hitting her again.

"I'll get the antidote," Flitter sighed. "And after Lightning recovers, we'll move on to the next method."

"Breezies are highly receptive to music," said Flitter. "If you play a nice song for them, they'll gladly give you their nectar."

"You'd better handle this one, Flit," said Cloudchaser. "I think you've got the best voice of all of us."

Flitter blushed. "Um, you're probably exaggerating, Cloudy. But, I'll give it a go."

"This is gonna be super lame. Amiright?" said Lightning, nudging Fleetfoot with her elbow.

"Don't do that," Fleetfoot growled.

"Yes'm," said Lightning hastily.

Flitter walked up to the breezies and cleared her throat. She then started to sing a bit of a shanty in the breezie language. While it sounded strange to the ponies, the breezies seemed to enjoy it. Some swayed their heads; some started to dance. One even started playing a tiny saxophone to accompany Flitter's singing. When the song stopped, the breezies cheered.

"Beautiful singin', lass! Just beautiful!" Seabreeze cheered.

Once again, the breezies emptied their pouches into the vials of nectar.

"Pfft, show-off," grumbled Lightning.

"That's, pretty empty, coming from you," said Cloudchaser.

Lightning snorted. "Oh yeah? Well watch this!"

She then shoved Flitter away and took out a small music player.

"I knew this would come in handy," she said, taking out the headphones and putting the volume at full blast. "You ready for some real music, breezies? Well here you go!"

She then pressed play, and the music player started blaring a famous track from DJ P0N-3's latest album. The breezies didn't like it at all. Each and every one of them were covering their ears.

"What the bleedin' heck is that farshapapip racket?!" Seabreeze yelled over the sound of Lightning's music player.

"It's music! I thought you guys liked music!" said Lightning.

"That ain't music, lass! That's, I don't know what that is!" Seabreeze barked.

"Puh! Music snobs," Lightning huffed. "This is worth a gallon of nectar, at least!"

The breezies flew back into their home, yelling angry protests as they did.

"Hey, come back here!" Lightning yelled. "I can put one thumthing elth— Oh, noth again!"

Once again, the breeze magic hit Lightning and caused her fall over. Cloudchaser walked over and turned off Lightning Dust's music player.

"For the record, I like DJ P0N-3, too," said Cloudchaser. "But I don't think that was appropriate music for these guys."

"Agreed," said Flitter. "Let's move on to the last method."

"This is a new one Fluttershy taught me," said Flitter. "I've already prepared some items that the breezies are interested in. Just present the right items to them, and they'll trade you for their nectar."

"Sounds simple enough," said Cloudchaser. "I'll give it a shot."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "I can't believe we're actually doing this," she said to Fleetfoot.

"I'll admit, it iss kinda weird," said Fleetfoot with a shrug. "But, let'ss ssee where thiss goess."

Cloudchaser walked up to a breezie and cleared her throat. "Um, hello. I would like to have your nectar, please."

"Eela keela keeto?" asked the breezie.

"Twirly asks: 'What have ya got?'" Seabreeze translated.

"Well, let's see," said Cloudchaser, looking over the assortment of items. "I, have this hoof-knit sweater."

"Eifla? Ettla meikan! Melenki orf einken," said Twirly.

"'That's all? You must be mad! This is worth two thimbles of water, at least,'" Seabreeze translated.

"Um, that sounds reasonable," said Cloudchaser. "But how about two thimbles of honey instead?"

Twirly put a feeler to her mouth and furrowed her brow. Finally, she nodded. "Dinna meph."

"Ya got yerself a trade, lass," said Seabreeze with a smile.

"Oh. Well thank you very much," said Cloudchaser, giving Twirly the thimbles of honey.

"Sannken," said Twirly with a bow, giving Cloudchaser her nectar.

"Nicely done, Cloudy," said Flitter.

"Oh, c'mon! That's all it took?" said Lightning. "I could do better than that."

"Sheesh, even I don't boasst that much," mumbled Fleetfoot.

"Well, let's see ya put your money where your mouth is, lass," said Seabreeze. "Periwinkle! Burzt mekali!"

Another breezie stepped forward.

"Alright, I got this," said Lightning. "So, what do you want for the nectar?"

"Peinol meit polot," said Periwinkle.

"'A grape, a cookie, and for you to stop bein' a jerk,'" said Seabreeze.

Lightning's eyes narrowed. "Oh, a wise guy, huh? Well then, how about we settle for half a grape?"

Periwinkle shook her head. "Itchen bilcer beena, messa mon?"

"'You're quite sensitive, aren't ya?'" Seabreeze translated.

"Well, you insulted me!" said Lightning. "It's not like I want to be here!"

"Yolee, san iktl mopt feleep," said Periwinkle.

"'See, this is what I mean by bein' a jerk,'" said Seabreeze. "I have to agree with her, lass."

"Yeah, well, you're a stupid bug!" Lightning snapped.

Periwinkle gasped and then pouted. "Heinl mecth."

"Deal's off, lass," said Seabreeze with a shrug.

"What?! Oh, that is it!" Lightning screamed. "That's the last straw! I can't take it anymore! I'm outta here!"

With that, she zoomed off.

"Touchy," said Fleetfoot.

"Aye," said Seabreeze. "I wonder what crawled up her butt."

"It's a long story," said Cloudchaser with a sigh. "You'd think she'd learn her lesson from the Academy and try to tone down her ego."

Fleetfoot let out a sigh of her own. "Asss long asss she keepss that grudge, I don't think she'll ever have a placce in the Wonderboltss. Good talent iss no ssubsstitute for a bad attitude."

"Words to live by," said Flitter. "Well, we've still got some more vials to fill, so let's make a few more trades and then we'll call it a day."

"Sounds good," said Cloudchaser. "Y'know, I really got an appreciation for all the hard work you do here, Flit. Maybe someday, you should see what training with the Wonderbolts is like."

Flitter raised an eyebrow. "Did you forget that I'm already representing Ponyville in the cross-country flight of the Equestria Games?"

Cloudchaser blushed. "Oh. Right. Yeah."

The ponies and the breezies all shared a bit of a laugh as the sun set in the distance.