Gladiator

by Not_A_Hat


29 - Travel

I crossed my arms, and sighed deeply. Twilight shot me a concerned look and paused her spell-casting. I was sitting on the table in the center of the library, a complex scratchwork of chalk adorning the floor beneath me. We were in the middle of an experiment.

"Are you still bothered by what Night Watch said?" she asked.

"Mmmhmm." Twilight had insisted I sleep on her couch after hearing about the assault. I'd agreed without much urging. No sense in asking for trouble. This morning I'd gone to the sheriff and filed a report. I hadn't expected much, but discouraging news was still discouraging.

"Well...I hate to say it Wes, but you didn't give him much to go on. Colors and pony-type aren't very specific."

"I know."

"At least the pegasus is distinctive, what with the clip. Still, though this is a small town, it's not tiny. If they're hiding, or have left-"

"I know."

"And even if something does turn up, it's your word against theirs. They could even charge you with assault, and since you're legally an alien, worst case scenario, you could be deported."

"I know! We've been over this! I just wish we could've told Rarity." The boutique was closed, a hastily scrawled sign announcing the proprietress was camping. I imagined Rarity hiking through the mountains, and felt a little less grim. I wished I could be there to poke fun at her distress, but I was pretty sure Applejack and Rainbow would tease her for me. Although the timing was spectacularly bad for me, I couldn't begrudge them and the Crusaders their trip. "I wonder if I could get Celestia to accelerate my immigration. She was going to work with me around the Summer Sun festival, but maybe she'd move it forward."

"You could ask. Want Spike to mail a letter?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I'll mention it to Princess Luna next time I see her." That drew a quizzical look.

"Do you see Princess Luna often?" Twilight energized another section of the pattern beneath me. I felt it come alive with a tingle on my arms.

"You know  my nightmares?" I leaned back on my hands and gazed at the ceiling.

"Yes." Twilight winced, and I remembered how she'd been dragged into one, before Luna bound our dreams.

"Well, it turns out that, as part of her duties, Princess Luna patrols the dreams of her subjects and helps assuage restless minds. I've been seeing quite a bit of her. We...hang out, I guess."

"Huh." She worked in silence for a moment. "What's that like?"

"Honestly? Kinda odd. She's a study in contrasts. Fastidiously polite one second, unrestrainedly rambunctious the next. Proudly haughty and surprisingly vulnerable, self-assured to the point of arrogance or uncertain to the point of panic." I scratched my jaw. "I don't think she has many friends."

"You're probably good for her, then."

"I hope so. She's been awfully accommodating for me. I don't think recurring nightmares are very normal for Equestria. Woah!" I yelped as the table lurched. "Take it easy!"

"Hey, this was your idea."

"Yeah, but-" I cut off as the library door opened, and Lyra poked her head in.

"Wes? I thought I heard you in here. Where were you this morning?"

"Oh, man!" I smacked my forehead. "I knew I was forgetting something. Look, Lyra, I'm sorry about missing our training; I meant to get you a note, but I really did have a good reason, you see-"


"-and that's pretty much what Commander Vimes said."

"Vimes?"

"Sorry, Night Watch."

"You and your nicknames." Lyra eyed me for a second. "Well, that is a pretty good reason. Have you talked to Rarity?"

"She's gone camping."

"Camping?"

"I know, right? Anyways, I'm not sure what to do. I'm planning to ask the Princess' advice. But..." I sighed again. "I just don't know. This whole situation is so confusing. I mean, what's even the point of all this? Are they trying to get me thrown out of town, or what? It seems like an awfully far-fetched plan. The only thing they've really accomplished so far is to make me really angry and frustrated."

"Which isn't really that hard." Lyra slowly circled the table, examining the runes.

"Hey!"

"What are you two working on here? This looks like bizzanarchy, but these runeations aren't anything normal. I'd almost say they're for gravity manipulation, but that's no spell I've studied." The green unicorn squinted at the diagrams. I was continually surprised by how much magic Lyra knew, despite being a weak caster.

"Just watch, we're almost done." Twilight passed me a black oil pastel, and carefully supervised as I marked the backs of my hands. "If this spell works, I hope to get it published in the Journal of Magical Design. It is gravity manipulation; a significant re-working, and ought to have some interesting uses."

"Really?" Lyra sounded impressed. "You don't aim low, do you? Of course, you've already had work reviewed in the Journal, haven't you?"

"Ehehe, well." Twilight laughed sheepishly. "Only a bit. And Wes helped design this. Ready to go, Wes?"

"Almost." I carefully perfected the runes marking me as part of the spell. They would guide the casting, and I wanted to be sure I knew where any energy in my body was being directed. Runes were useful for design iteration or extraordinarily complicated spells; with a completed spell, these symbols were hard-coded into the casting procedure. With experimental spells like this, it was easier to use the runes, instead of re-interpreting each version to generate a new procedure.

"Is it possible that's their goal?"

"Hmm?" I looked up. Lyra glanced aimlessly about, searching for thoughts.

"Their goal. Maybe they simply want to make you angry and frustrated?"

"That..." I stopped.

"That's a very worrying possibility." Twilight finished for me. "It implies they're either trying to provoke a reaction from Wes, which means he's being manipulated, or even worse, something about Wes being angry and frustrated is inherently useful to them."

"Like the changelings." I spat. "Manipulating me. Emotions. Hate. Hate. Hate." I tossed the pastel back to Twilight. "I try not to think about that option. Fire it up, Twi."

"Here goes!" A lavender spark leaped from her horn, illuminating the cast. I felt a sudden lurch, and my head whirled as I lost contact with my frame of reference. I swallowed convulsively and fought to not windmill my arms as a sudden sensation of falling overcame me.

"Woah!" Lyra breathed. "It is a gravity spell! How did you do that?"

"Well!" Twilight launched into an explanation of the intricate power-flow mechanisms she'd designed, after I'd asked her about the reverse gravity spell she'd used in the Crystal Empire. I had tried explaining just how overpowered it seemed to me. After taking a good look at the world through my engineer-trained eyes, she'd started to understand, and we'd begun researching a more economical version. We'd spent a good few days drawing circuit schematics and free body diagrams before it really clicked, but it seemed to have paid off.

I was floating.

I pushed gently off the table, and watched the room rotate around me. I traced the runes on my arms, trying to 'feel' the nearly invisible aura that surrounded me. I touched my finger to my horn, sensing the power flowing smooth and steady from the reservoir Twilight had established. I picked up a book, and the output scaled easily for the increased mass. The runeations sparkled, reflecting the rearranged flow, and I grinned victoriously. This version looked like it was working just fine.

We had created a variable power spell. Instead of simply reversing my gravity, it was effectively nullified. The procedure was more complex, but it could draw significantly less power. And selectable gravity had intriguing applications.

"Well, it seems successful." I smirked. "Why are you upside down?" I was spinning gently, and suddenly felt glad I'd closed the windows; drifting around the room weightlessly was disconcerting enough, without worrying about floating off into the sky.

"So, let's get started interpreting!" Twilight enthusiastically flipped through her notebook until she came to the spell diagram; it was our twelfth iteration. "I bet we can increase efficiency by at least seventeen percent! Lyra, do you want to help?" I grinned at her eagerness. For Twilight, knowledge was in and of itself a goal. She was here 'for the science'. Compiling and debugging the spell was exactly the type of detailed minutia that gave me headaches, but Twilight reveled in exacting analysis. Clearly, Lyra didn't. Her ears drooped slightly, but she gave Twilight's gleaming eyes a glance and didn't have the heart to deny her.

"Only if you let me try it." The green unicorn watched as I drifted slowly in the center of the room, frantically trying to 'swim' towards a handhold. "That looks like a lot of fun."


"So, you created a regressive cascade in the degeneration linkage?"

"I...think that's right? I understand most of the concepts, but honestly, it's from a physicist's perspective. Most of the actual thaumaturgy was Twilight's work." I ran a finger across the crystal orb before me, and a swathe of sky blazed with stars. Luna hummed, studying my addition to the game board in the sky.

I lay on my back, watching the stars of Luna's dreamscape, which we were currently manipulating to simulate a game board. a fitful breeze whispered through the grass around us. My opponent looked nearly black in the silvery starlight. There was no moon. As I'd said to Twilight, Luna and I 'hung out'. I was applying Pinkie's advice on dreams, and I'd achieved a small, but noticeable reduction in nightmares. I was unsurprised they persisted, though I wished for a magical cure. As usual, hard work seemed the only real answer.

I'd already detailed what gruesome parts of my dream I could remember to Luna, and asked her for Celestia's considerations on immigration. She promised to pass the message along, but was intrigued by the spell research I mentioned. I described as best I could, but felt I was fumbling it; she obviously knew more about the nuts and bolts of spells than I did, even with the considerable education I'd magically appropriated.

"Anyways, you can read about it when Twilight does the write up. She's hoping to get it published." She responded with a move; a broad stripe of sky blazed with stars, and I squinted, trying to grasp her tactics. I was losing pretty badly. Challenging an ancient master to a game I'd learned hours ago probably wasn't the best strategy.

"It will, undoubtedly, if it be as well-crafted as you say." I added another patch of stars, and she made  vexed sound. "About the assault; hast thou consulted Rarity?"

"She's camping. Should be back tomorrow." This was the second night of the three-day trip. I'd slept soundly last night, though I'd spent most of the day at home, or making up for missing training with Lyra. I had begun wondering whether the timing of my attack had been purposefully picked. It seemed just a bit too neat.

"Camping? Verily?"

"Right? You're slipping."

"Sorry."

"Not that I mind. Your archaism is perfectly understandable, and you don't need to put on a front for people to like you. Usually the opposite, honestly."

The alicorn sighed.

"I appreciate the encouragement, though I do know that. Yet this is something I do for myself, to better understand where I now fit. You, at least, should understand circumstances wait for nopony." I nodded soberly, and added another asterism to the star-spangled playing field. Luna studied my move, and fixed me with a stare. "Sometimes, we can change what surrounds us. Sometimes, we need to change ourselves. Sometimes the rule of the world is literally adapt or die."

I gave her a piercing look.

"Do you really feel the changes in your world are so grim?"

"Hah!" She threw her head back and laughed. "You rightfully spite my self-pity, Wesley. I do not intend to belittle your suffering."

"That's not what I-"

"No, no, I understand. We will not compare scars, you and I. I do not belittle myself, either. What I went through cut deeply." I glimpsed anguish in her eyes. "What you endured hurt as well. I will not make light of either pain by setting them against each other. Yet if you tell me self-pity is pointless, I will wholeheartedly agree. You have seen it in yourself."

"...yeah. Forward is the only way to move, like it or not. Clinging to wounds doesn't help either of us."

"So I move forward into this new era. I mourn what I leave, but can at least afford the comfort of choosing. You had no choice, and I am deeply sorry for that."

"It's not your fault, is it? Anyways, I survived."

"I wonder about that."

"Huh?" Disturbed by her statement, I fumbled my orb and accidentally smeared stars across the wrong stretch of sky, wasting a move. I sighed and examined the placement, trying to fit it into my strategy. "What do you mean?"

"Wesley, I have not known you long. But even in the short time we have 'chilled,' as you put it, I have seen a stallion - or, sorry, 'man' - in flux. Be careful. When we are forced through uncontrollable circumstances, we adapt." She sighed, and caught my gaze. "That is nothing wrong. But beware; sometimes, it is easier to retreat into the darkness of the mind than search for the light. It is possible to be slain by circumstance and yet remain alive."

I pondered that, chilled by the implications. I knew I was - had - changed. I was trying to understand that.

"Am I becoming a monster, then?"

"No." Another constellation coalesced, blocking my advance. "I think you will not, while your friends uphold you. But my words are not empty. Even if all change is to the good, do not blithely assume you still know yourself; if you change far enough, fast enough, who you were may be gone before you realize. Examine yourself carefully, since you may change more than you imagined." She laughed bitterly. "Though I am returned to myself, when I finish adapting there may be little enough left of Luna-who-was. Certainly better than continual strife, yet though I rejoice, I am slain in myself. Such is the price of maturity. Growth means abandoning yourself surely as death."

"Metamorphosis."

"Indeed."

I absentmindedly made a move, and considered her words. I had been considering the changes in me to be mainly superficial; imposed on me, and thus something that would disappear when I returned to 'normal'. Thinking of myself as a whole different person was oddly...liberating. I didn't need to hold onto the normal 'Wesley Kilmer' if I wasn't really him anymore. At the same time, I was unwilling to abandon everything. There were good reasons for who I'd been, and I wouldn't reject them carelessly. Besides, some changes I really didn't want. I frowned, deep in thought, but returned as Luna gasped slightly.

"What's up?" I followed her gaze skyward, and noticed a shooting star. "Oh, make a wish."

"Silly." She gave me a laughing look. "These are not truly stars. Their magic is different indeed. That is a call for help."

"Huh?"

"Pfft." She giggled at my befuddlement, climbing to her hooves. "Allow me to demonstrate. If you would place your hand on my withers?" I stood, and cautiously complied, wondering if her coat felt as warm and soft in real life. She spread her wings, and I gasped as the grass below fell away. The sense of movement diminished rapidly, since the ground below us seemed endless in length and breadth; for a long moment, we hung motionless in the air, between a infinite sky and plane. Then, with a rush, we reached the stars. I carefully brushed her mane out of my eyes, wondering how the ethereal thing managed to feel so much like hair.

"This is the sea of dreams. Many of the stars you see are the visions of sleeping ponies."

"And the others?" I examined the orbs we were zipping past. Most of them were surprisingly small, to my conception of stars; merely a meter or so across. They glimmered like pearls on velvet. As my eyes skimmed them, I saw dreamscapes. I glimpsed a swirl of petals in one, and an expanse of clouds in another. Some few, though, were different. I pointed to what seemed to be a disc, instead of a sphere; kaleidoscopic patterns swirled across its surface, forming no discernible shapes.

"Those? They are oneironautilus. Shall we try one?"

"Huh?" I had no time to ask what she meant before we flashed towards the disc in question and plunged through it. It seemed to grow indescribably large; maybe I was misjudging sizes, or we were moving faster than I thought. My thoughts washed away in a rush of sensation.

A taste of cinnamon and the scent of apples clashed with the motion of storm-tossed sea. I saw a vista of swirling sand, and caught strains of haunting music. Then, with a feeling like a soap bubble bursting, we were back in the sea of dreams.

"Ooog." I clapped my free hand to my temple, trying to sort out my disorientation.

"Sorry. That one was particularly intense."

"What are they?"

"Fragments of dreams."

"They look like engrams."

"An astute observation; I wonder about that myself. Using a widderspindle here, though, seems nearly impossible, so it may be a while before I can get a better idea of how they form. There are usually a few floating around. Sometimes, when I am bored, I make a game of popping them. It can be exhilarating."

"Cool."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yeah. This sort of thing is really neat." I stared in wonder at our surroundings for a moment. We were drawing closer to the shooting star; it was a dream, but it was frantically darting and jagging through space. Luna matched its pace effortlessly. "Seriously, Luna, thanks for showing me this sort of thing. I know your work is special to you. This means a lot to me."

"Why, you are very welcome, Wesley. I have certainly enjoyed your company on the night shift." She stopped before the fleeing dream; the other stars seemed to swoop and swirl around us, but we were perfectly motionless relative to our target. Curiosity tempted me to pull my hand from her shoulder, but I squelched the idea.

"So, what's going on?"

"Oh, yes. Well, Wesley, this is what a nightmare looks like. We are going to enter it, and hopefully assist the dreamer."

"Is it really Ok for me to tag along?"

"I think so. You know this pony, after all. Your presence may be comforting."

"Who is-" I cut off as her horn shone. For a second, the crescent moon glimmered at the tip, a sure sign she was drawing on her domain as the Alicorn of the Night. The dream swelled suddenly, and with a confusing sort of whirl, we were inside. I glanced about, taking in the dark forest, full of uncomfortable noises and half-seen motion, and shuddered. Somepony had too much imagination.

I heard cantering, and turned to find Luna had darted off through the trees. I followed as best I could, but fell slowly behind.

After stumbling through the woods, I soon found the Princess in a clearing. She was talking to...Scootaloo?

"Scoots?" I stepped out of the trees, and the young pegasus startled, her eyes rolling wildly, small wings flaring in fright.

"Wes? What are you doing here?" I walked over and sat cross-legged, careless of the imagined cold and damp.

"You look like you could use a hug." I held out my hands, and she jumped into my lap. I folded my arms around her; she was shivering. Luna gave us an amused glance. "The Princess helps me with nightmares, too."

"You? But you...you're Wesley! Nothing scares you! You're almost as cool as Rainbow Dash!"

"Thanks." I rubbed her mane for a moment. "You are even more snuggly than I imagined," I mumbled, enjoying the feel of her soft fur.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You even chased off a manticore!"

"Oh, really? I thought I asked Applebloom not to tell anypony." I shot her a stern look, and she had the grace to look embarrassed. "But I guess Crusaders don't keep secrets from each other. No, some things scare even me, tough as I may be." Scootaloo's shivers were subsiding. "So, what's getting to you?"

"The Headless Horse!"

"No, Scootaloo." Luna lowered her navy nose to look the filly in the face. "Dreams merely reflect minds. Your fear is from the waking world, and will still exist upon awakening. What truly scares you?"

"I-" She glanced around wildly, as if somepony else might be listening. "I'm afraid Rainbow Dash will find out I'm not as tough as she thinks I am!" She admitted in a rush. Luna gave her a comforting look, and I hugged her a little tighter.

"Everypony has fears, Scootaloo. Everypony must face them in their own way. But they must be faced, or the nightmares will continue." Luna smiled gently. "And I believe you are brave enough for this."

"Yeah, if anypony can face their fears, it's you." I gave her an extra squeeze. "Anyways, although Rainbow is proud, she's not the sort of pony who looks down on others. She genuinely admires the strengths of her friends, and I'm telling you, Scoots, you're plenty awesome yourself."

"Really?"

"Really really," I said. Luna shot me a glance, and the dream began to fade. "Face your fears, Scootaloo. I know it's hard, but you're up to it." The filly disappeared with a squeak, and the dream began fading.

"Do you think she'll be OK?" I asked Luna, as the vision unraveled around us.

"Undoubtedly. As you said, she is tougher than she realizes. But for now, maybe you should look to your own safety?"

"Huh?" I glanced around, only to realize I was no longer touching Luna as the last fragment of the dream vanished. "Aaaaa!" The princess laughed as I flailed, and began plummeting to the endless plain below. She swooped below me, and I threw an arm around her neck.

"So, where were we?" She set us down gently on the grass. "I believe I was winning."

"Probably." I said sourly. "Next time, let's play checkers."

"Perhaps, Wesley. Perhaps."


"Iconarcana."

"The school that studies magic in symbols, specifically passive magic accumulated over time." Twilight nodded, and made a check in her book. Our association game was on its third incarnation. We were using obscure word definitions, trying for ones outside ordinary conversation. The idea was to limit corruption from everyday sources. Of course, corruption was hardly an issue for Twilight. Her exposure to American culture was minimal, to put it lightly.

<"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.">

<"A made up word...from Mary Poppins? Is that right?">

<"Far as I know."> I made a tick on my paper.

"Somnology."

"The school that studies magic related to sleep. Dang! Just how many schools of magic are there?"

"Hundreds. At least as many as you have fields of science, and for the same reasons. I mean, it is science, for the most part."

"I guess. Um, <cleave>."

"Uuuu..." I watched, trying to conceal my amusement as Twilight struggled to define the word.

"What's going on?" The door to the library swung open, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders poured in. "Are you guys having a dictionary contest? Can Sweetie Belle join?"

"Applebloom! There's no such thing as a dictionary contest! Anyways, I don't think I can compete with Twilight."

"Woooah!" Scootaloo gazed up at us in wonder. I smiled. Both Twilight and I were floating in mid-air, testing the duration of the anti-gravity spell. "How are you guys doing that? That's really cool!"

"Magic." I said gravely. "How was camping?"

"Good. Thanks, Wesley."

"No problem." I waved the curious looks of the others away. "Anytime you need a hand, let me know. So, is Rarity back then?"

"Ayup. She sent us to find you, Wes."

"Thanks." I grabbed the edge of the table, and grounded myself carefully. I caught Twilight's eye, and felt magic brush across my mind; I grasped it, and the link formed between us. I touched the horn in my pocket and grounded the extra energy from the spell back into her pool of magic, breaking the enchantment. My knees bent slightly as acceleration returned. I felt dizzy for a second, but quickly adjusted.

"You're not giving me homonyms again, are you?" Twilight glared suspiciously as she ended the spell on herself, nearly falling over. "We're going to have to re-run this test, you know."

"Nope, this is actually worse than a homonym. Sorry, I was getting bored." I smirked. "Hey, maybe these three would test the spell while we're gone."

"""Really?""" Twilight rolled her eyes as the three gave an imploring gaze, opening their eyes wide and projecting as much cute as possible.

"No. Definitely not. Although I'm sure you'd find Cutie Mark Crusaders 'Test Subjects' hilarious, Wesley, I don't think much of the library would be left when we get back from Rarity's. And I can't have you three floating away untethered." I winced and nodded. I hadn't considered their penchant for getting into trouble; no way a test would go smoothly. I pictured them floating around the library, flailing. Funny, but not worth it.

"You're going to visit Rarity?" Spike called from the kitchen. "I'm coming too!" Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Fine, but let's go. And Wes, you need to tell me what's up with this word. How can it have conflicting definitions like that?"

"Well, English is a particularly odd language. Cleave is technically an auto-antonym, which-" I opened the door, and we all stepped out into the street, heading for the boutique.


"Oh, I knew camping was a bad idea! Nature cannot be good for anypony." Rarity's voice wafted from behind the screen across the room. A waft of scented steam floated past me, and I shifted uncomfortably. We'd arrived at the boutique, only to find that Rarity had started a bath as soon as she returned, dragging the tub into her bedroom and filling it with hot water. I felt slightly uncomfortable about talking to someone while they washed, but...well, we'd saunaed together. And it's not like she took off any more clothes. And there was the folding screen she'd thoughtfully put up, so I wasn't actually watching. Still, it was a little odd. We sat on her bed, and listened with barely veiled amusement to an increasingly dramatic account of the trials of her hike to Winsome Falls. After Rarity tired of trying to answer Twilight's unending series of biology, geography, and meteorology questions, I'd related what happened to me.

"I knew something was up as soon as I got back, but I never thought it would be this bad. Oh my, Wes! I am so sorry!"

"Please, don't apologize." I felt uncomfortable enough; profuse apologies didn't help. "Look, I appreciate your help, but you don't have to take responsibility for my problems."

"Well, of course I don't!" I blinked at that. "I chose to. I promised you help, and I won't have it said I did less than my all!"

"Um, not to sound unappreciative, Rarity, but...you have done more than I expected, really. Don't beat yourself up over this. Did you get a chance to spend some quality time with your sister?"

"Oh yes! Sweetie Belle was such a dear."

"Then it was worth it. Anyways, I've asked the Princess for some help, too. maybe-"

*BUUUUUUUURP*

Green flame erupted from Spike's mouth, nearly knocking him off the bed.

"Worst. Mailbox. Ever." Rarity mumbled quietly behind the partition. I rolled my eyes, hoping Spike hadn't heard, and snatched the missive from midair. It was addressed to me, but sealed with an unfamiliar cutie mark. I broke the wax with my thumb, and unrolled it.

"It's from...Celestia's secretary?" I said. "Apparently this unicorn, Ink Well, is coming to Ponyville tomorrow, and is fully authorized to help with my immigration."

"Did you say Ink Well?" Twilight gasped, and snatched the scroll. "Oh no! I need to clean the library! And my room! And the lab! Spike, we're going to need a cake!" She leaped up, and dashed out the door, dragging Spike along in a swirl of magic.

"Huh?" I stared stupidly after.

"Don't ask me, darling." A sound of splashing came from behind the screen. "I have no idea what goes on in that mare's head most of the time. Will you be a dear and throw me a towel?"


"No, seriously." I stood in front of the card catalog. "You can't organize this until you tell me what's going on. Why are you so panicked about Ink Well? You've been freaking out since yesterday, and rushing around like crazy. If you're not careful, you won't even notice her arrival!"

"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice called. The door swung open, and a white unicorn with a pink mane and a pair of delicate tortoiseshell glasses nudged the door open. An open bottle of ink adorned her flank. "Is this the Golden Oaks? I'm looking for a Wesley Kilmer?"  

"Eeeep!" Twilight froze, as if expecting scrutiny and judgment of the entire room completely and immediately.

"That'd be me." I nodded to the unicorn and her standard-issue guard, and surreptitiously checked the clock. They were actually early. I hadn't really expected them to surprise us like that. Oh well. Whatever was bothering Twilight, there was no way it could be as bad as she thought.

"Oh my. You certainly are tall." Delicate brown eyes widened in perfect surprise, and something clicked in my brain. I walked over to the window, and pulled the shades closed.

"You're Celestia." I sat down on a nearby cushion. "That's why Twilight was freaking out."

"What, fifteen seconds?" The guard gave Ink Well a flat glance. "I told you it would be fast." I recognized that voice. Twilight did too, apparently.

"Shiny!" She broke out of her shock, and  hugged her brother, tugging off his helmet. As she did, his appearance wavered and shifted, the illusion losing its grip. Celestia also dropped her disguise and embraced her student.

"Oh dear." The alicorn glanced around the room, noting the clean sparkle of every surface, including the ceiling. The books were aligned to microscopic tolerances, the cushions were placed evenly and exactly, there were even fresh-cut flowers on the checkout desk. "Was it very bad? I tried not to give her too much time, but some advance notice seemed necessary."

"Well, she hasn't had long enough to burn out. I might have even been able to calm her down if it had lasted a bit longer. And Spike just soldiered on. I believe he should be back with cake any moment." I carefully swung the sign to closed and latched the door, in an attempt to prevent surprises. "I'm curious, though. Why the masquerade?"

"It's quite simple." Celestia sat at the table across from me, and started producing papers from a pair of extra-large saddlebags. Her glasses hadn't been part of the illusion; they perched lightly on her nose. "If I go places as the Princess, I'm bound by expectation. It's much more convenient to disguise myself."

"And how many ponies know about your alternate identity?"

"Few enough," Shining answered. "You will be getting a security clearance today, if you agree to be inducted into the guard."

"And nopony notices your disappearance?"

"Wesley, do you know how long I spend 'ruling' each day?"

"No, not really. I guess I sorta assumed it was an all-hours job?"

"Pfft." Celestia stared at me over the top of her spectacles. "Good leaders delegate. I have no less than forty secretaries, ministers, princes and princesses, in various layers and organizations, to keep anything labeled 'work' in that bureaucracy as far away as I possibly can. I spend less than four hours a day at court, and we're closed weekends." She slapped a sheaf of papers down in front of me. "That leaves time for getting the really important things done, like teaching," she cast Twilight a soft glance, "and ensures things needing my personal attention get it. Holding court, as the Canterlot elite see me do, actually does very little to keep this country moving smoothly." Shining cleared his throat and gave her a meaningful glance. "And, as my captain would love to explain, I have very capable ponies would could accomplish most everything I need without getting my hooves dirty. But where would the fun in that be?" She smiled sweetly.

"So...you dress up because it's fun?"

"In short, yes. Surprised?"

"It just seems... frivolous. Silly, even."

"Well." She sighed. "There is more to it than that, but not much. Twilight, you know what I like to say...?"

"Anypony can plan for the obvious." The two unicorns pulled up cushions, and joined us at the table. "Princess Celestia told me about her...alter-egos soon after I started studying under her, and I asked a pretty similar question. She has been working and planning for a certain scenario for years, trying to make sure if it ever came to be, catastrophe could be averted. She calls it 'having retirement options'."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed. I was a little less stoic about it; the idea that Celestia would, could stop ruling, for whatever reason, was pretty much unthinkable to me. And most other ponies."

"I have ruled this country for a long time," Celestia added. "But, blithely assuming status quo is a foolish attitude. The reason I have slowly distanced myself from leadership is not because I don't want to rule, but because for years, I was the only pony willing to consider myself vulnerable at all." She adjusted her glasses. "Alicorns are powerful, sometimes shockingly so, but by no means invincible. If you cut me, I bleed. Any opponent who knows my weaknesses can hurt me; pretend invincibility is arrogance I will never allow." She gave a self-deprecating smile. "As Chrysalis showed, I'm as vulnerable to surprise and stealth as anypony."

"Your Majesty-" Shining started to speak, but Celestia silenced him with a glance. I saw self-recrimination in his eyes; he turned his gaze downwards. Twilight threw a foreleg over his neck, and nuzzled him.

We all glanced up as a knock came at the door. I rose unasked, and cracked it open. Spike stood outside, a carton of cake slices in his claws. I let him in surreptitiously.

"So, snacks from Sugarcube Corner?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. Celestia's face lit up, and I grinned. Apparently that sweet tooth was more than just a rumor.


"Ok, so let me get this straight." I sipped my tea, and shuffled through the papers in front of me again. "I'm swearing an oath of fealty to Celestia? And that's enough to get me into the guard, and make me a citizen?"

"Pretty much." Shining pointed to the relevant part on the papers I was sorting. "It's here." Across the room, Twilight and Celestia were discussing the anti-gravity spell, and  trying to drink zero-gravity apple juice. They were giggling. I leaned back, and considered what I was about to do.

As far as I could tell, the oath was pretty straightforward. I swore to obey Celestia, as the head of the guard and lady of the land, until such time as I might leave the world. In return, she agreed to provide me with all the rights and privileges of a citizen. And, if I should need it, upkeep in the castle barracks.

"This oath is not magically binding, is it?"

"No!" I was surprised by the emphasis in Shining's voice, and even more by the disgust in his eyes. "We deprive nopony of free will. No matter how well-intentioned the reason, that's unthinkable! Of course, breaking the oath still brings retribution." His eyes went hard. "Treason will bring retribution."

"Oh." I looked at the papers again. "Well, Ok. I think I can do this."

"Good!" Celestia trotted over. "Wesley, do you agree to abide by the terms and conditions herein?" She held the papers out to me.

"I do." I dipped my thumb in the inkwell, and pressed it lightly to the paper, leaving an obvious print. Celestia tapped the paper with her horn, and her cutie mark appeared beside it.

"Excellent!" The papers were swept back into her saddlebags. "Wesley, as a citizen of the realm, I am commissioning you to join the Royal Guard. Captain, can you agree to this appointment?"

"Consent is given," Shining said flatly.

"Wesley, you are now officially a Special Lieutenant in the Royal Guard. Your security clearance is three-B. I am attaching you to the Royal Canterlot Archive, as a strategic knowledge resource."

"Strategic?"

"Indeed. What you've taught Twilight has already opened a whole new branch of mathematics to us. You are quite valuable, like it or not."

"Oh." I sat back, surprised. I hadn't considered how my contributions to Twilight's vast body of knowledge might be perceived by other ponies.

"More precisely, you are now technically part of the Canterlot Archive."

"Bwuh?"

"You have been assigned IPBN number 978-3-16-148410-0."

"Wait, what?"

"Here are your withdrawal slips." The Princess waved two squares of paper at me, with my name on the top, and space for dates below. "They would normally be placed in your front flap, so please keep one on your person at all times. You will be alphabetized as soon as you report to the stacks." My brain spun wildly. I was being treated like a book? I snatched at the papers, but she held them away.

"Hold on a second-"

"Twilight, do you happen to have your library card on you?"

"Of course, Princess!" The excited unicorn produced a laminated square of cardboard. Celestia inspected it gravely, and passed her the checkout card. She signed and dated both, and passed one to me. I gave it a look; it was identical to the ones in the books here. To borrow a book, you signed both; one stayed with the book when it was checked out, one was left in the librarians file.

"This all seems to be in order. Please return him to the Archive in the same condition you found him. I'll file the withdrawal as soon as I return."

"Of course!" Twilight grinned hugely, bouncing excitedly in place. "I always wanted to be friends with a book!"

"Oh, you two are such trolls." I slid the paper resignedly into my wallet, as the pair collapsed in giggles. I shot Shining a look of long suffering; he returned it with sympathy. "Fine, whatever, I'm a book. Is there any of that cake left?"


"Truth be told, there is more to this than simply doing you a favor, Wesley." Twilight and I were walking Ink Well and Shining to the train. We'd spent a good few hours laughing and just hanging out in the library, but the two needed to be back in Canterlot before the next day.

"What's up?"

"Sombra is moving up north, where we discovered the whereabouts of the Crystal Empire."

"Really?"

"Indeed. It's regretful, but...I think I may need to mobilize the Elements."

"But the Element of Magic..." Twilight's voice trailed off in worry. I imagined the cracked gem, and shook my head.

"True." Ink Well nodded. "But I believe it may still be useable. Twilight, you and your friends will be getting an official summons in the next few days. We will do some testing. Wesley, as part of the guard, you will be receiving deployment orders." Her voice was troubled. "I have no idea how usable the elements are, but at the very least, using them may hurt you."

"As long as it's just pain."

"It may be excruciating."

"I'll deal."

"But-"

"Look, Celestia, I knew what I was getting into. You've appointed me as part of the guard, and I appreciate that. But it means you're calling on me to risk my life, right?" She nodded tightly. "Well, I understand. And I accept. I gave my word; it's good." Shining gave me an approving look, and I shrugged. "Anyways, I can deal with pain. If it's worse than anything I've ever felt, I'll be surprised."

"Very well." We stepped onto the train platform. "Then, I will be seeing you in the next few days. Be well." One more round of hugs went around, and they boarded the train. Twilight and I watched it pull out in silence.

"So, another mission, this time with all the Elements?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Huh. Well, it might be nice to get out of town for a while."