//------------------------------// // Nine Horns // Story: The Alicorn Academy // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// “Ivy?” Twilight’s voice was hesitant. “Yes Twilight?” Ivy paused, trying to remember manners. “Sorry, Princess Twilight.” “Ugh, no need for that,” Twilight grunted, “I must make a request of you. A very serious request.” “What’s that Twilight?” Ivy responded as they walked. “Ivy, you must promise me that you will not eat the castle.” Ivy stopped in mid-stride and giggled. “I’m being serious Ivy!” Twilight said. “Celestia and Luna will be grumpy if you go gnawing on the walls again. You must exercise restraint.” “Again?” Asked Ivy. “When you were little, you stayed here for a while,” said Twilight, recalling a painful memory of dragonfire, “and you nibbled a bit on the castle.” “I promise I will not nibble the castle.” Ivy swore. “And there is probably a lot of other things here you shouldn’t eat.” Twilight thought out loud. “I know my father tells stories about what I eat, but really, I only eat what I know is OK to eat. Most of the time. Sometimes I really can’t help myself. Like when I go through a molt.” Ivy protested. The pair walked through a long hallway, Twilight's hooves clopping, Ivy’s claws clicking. “And mind your claws Ivy. I know you really do try to be a good filly. But you really need to be extra careful here. Celestia, as much as she adores you, will scold you. And you will not like it. Celestia should probably have a cutie mark for scolding.” Twilight reflected aloud. “I heard that!” Said a mare trotting up behind them. “Nightfisher!” Ivy squealed. Ivy paused again in mid step. “Oh, best manners. Sorry.” Nightfisher fell into gait along the two. “Hello Princess of the In Between Time.” Nightfisher said, bowing her head slightly. “Huh?” Ivy asked. “The lunar pegasi keep calling me that.” Twilight explained. “Twilight is sacred to us. As the night rises, the twilight heralds the end of the tyranny of the day.” “Oh.” Ivy said, not sure if she understood. “And Twilight the mare brought balance between the the Two Sisters, restoring harmony and order. We revere her as we would our Mistress.” Nightfisher explained. “Oh, I think I see.” Ivy said, struggling to keep up as the two mares picked up their pace. “If I try to walk any faster I am going to scratch the floor. I can’t get a grip with my claws on this marble.” “Nightfisher?” Ivy asked. “Yes Ivy?” “Please keep an eye on my mama while I’m gone.” Ivy requested. “Oh, I do that already. She’s a friend.” Nightfisher paused. “And this is where we part. Good bye!” Nightfisher broke away and exited through a door. Ivy looked up and saw stained glass windows. She saw her father. She cringed. “Almost there Ivy.” Twilight said. Ivy stood in a small private garden, surrounded by tall hedges. There was a gate on one side. Before her was a table. It was piled high with food. Cushions had been placed around the table. Ivy felt like she was going to throw up. Twilight had disappeared through the gate, and Ivy was alone. But not for long. She heard voices. “Mother, I am worried. What if I have an accident? What if I am not ready? What if I fail? Other ponies could get hurt. I am not comfortable with this arrangement.” A voice said. Egghead, Ivy thought. She liked eggheads. And there was something in the air. Something eggy. Rotten eggy. Ivy’s mouth began to water. Something truly feculent was in the air, and it was mouth wateringly awful. A long ribbon of drool escaped her lips, hanging from the corner of her mouth. She slurped, trying to be rid of the embarrassing slobber. “Brimstone, you will be fine. You haven’t had an accident in over a year. Keep your emotions in check. Remain calm. Remember to breathe...” Ivy recognised that voice. That was Luna! “What if they hate me because of the way I smell?” Replied a small voice. “Then a poor choice was made in selecting our students. I am sure there is bound to be some initial discomfort to begin with, but as you know, you can adjust somewhat to the smell. The maids have grown used to you.” “You pay the maids.” Said the voice in logical tones. “Brimstone!” Ivy heard a whine. She drooled. Her stomach rumbled. She really was hungry, and the sulfurous stench smelled divine. “Hello.” Ivy said as a dingy yellow colt stepped through the gate. “Greetings and salutations,” the colt replied. “I am Brimstone.” “I’m Ivy.” “I apologise up front for my malodorous aroma.” Brimstone said softly. “Your what?” Ivy responded. “My stench.” Brimstone replied, dropping his eyes. “You smell delicious!” Ivy exclaimed exuberantly. She rushed forward with alarming speed and pressed her nose into Brimstone’s yellow coat. “Personal space!” He cried, trying to back away. “But you really smell good! Good enough to eat.” Ivy said, leaning forward. “GAH!” Brimstone said, trying to retreat through the gate. He bumped into Luna. “SHE IS GOING TO EAT ME!” He cried, trying to push past her. “Oh, I would never eat a pony.” Ivy said, suddenly becoming shy. Luna laughed. “Somepony likes the way you smell Brimstone. Isn’t that pleasant?” Luna’s voice was teasing. “She drooled on me!” He replied, still somewhat panicked. “You really do smell good,” Ivy said in her own defense, “I can’t help it.” “You think I smell good? Nopony has ever said that before. Ever. You. You are odd.” Brimstone stared at Ivy, trying to take Ivy in. There was a lot to take in at once. Ivy smiled fetchingly and Brimstone cringed. Ivy recoiled, remembering what her smile did to ponies. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop smiling.” The two foals eyed one another for a while. Eventually, Brimstone extended his hoof. “Pleased to meet you.” Ivy’s tail shot forward, grabbing the extended hoof and coiling around it. It shook the hoof gently. “Oh, you’ll have to excuse my tail. I have no control over it.” “We have something in common.” Brimstone said. “I cannot fault you for something you have no control over.” Ivy felt a strange heat rising up her neck and into her cheeks. She became aware that Luna was staring at her curiously. “Hi Luna. Nice to see you again.” Ivy paused. “Oh, Princess Luna. Sorry.” Luna wrapped a foreleg around Ivy’s neck and hugged her close. Ivy realised she was drooling again. She slurped. “Really, I am not a drooling idiot…” she mumbled, “but I am really hungry and the smell is driving me crazy.” Brimstone said nothing, his face thoughtful, reflective. His crimson eyes peered at Ivy, and then to Luna. He trotted over and sat down on a cushion as Luna tried in vain to wipe drool off of Ivy’s muzzle. “I’m going to look like an idiot.” Ivy whined. “Just a little drool.” Luna soothed. “A little?” Ivy said, spitting everywhere. “Be calm Ivy. The drool can’t dribble forever. Go ahead and try to eat something dry, like crackers.” Ivy went over, sat on a cushion, and grabbed some crackers. And some bread. There were hoofbeats. A regal looking pink alicorn appeared in the gate. “Cadance!” Luna said warmly. A crystal unicorn trod through the gate, pausing and looking around. She sniffed slightly, looked as though she was about to say something, and then was completely silent. Her coat, if it could be called that, was a faint lovely green. Her mane was silver and looked metallic. Her eyes were amber, and there was a keyhole shaped cutie mark on her backside. She moved with a delicate grace and beauty that matched Cadance’s. She bowed her head slightly. “This is Minerva Silvermane,” Cadance said, “my student.” Minerva strode forward and took a seat on the cushion. She looked at Brimstone, and then Ivy. “Pleased to meet you both. I do hope we can be friends.” “Greetings and salutations.” Brimstone replied. “Hi hi.” Said Ivy, her excitement beginning to bubble. Cadance took a seat next to her student. Luna came and sat next to Brimstone. Twilight Sparkle came through the gate, muttering incoherently. “Twilight, is something wrong?” Cadance said, her voice tinged with a hint of alarm. “Stupid Collective and unicorn unity…” grumbled Twilight, her muzzle contorted into a snarl, “there’s been another demonstration, this time in Baltimare.” Twilight stomped her hoof. “I am not going to let this ruin my day.” She said, taking a deep breath and drawing her hoof to her chest. She extended her hoof as she exhaled. She trotted over Ivy and took a seat next to her, throwing her forelegs around Ivy and hugging her. “Sorry about your bad day Twilight.” Ivy whispered. “Ivy, you’ve been drooling.” Twilight said in a hushed tone. “I can’t help it.” Ivy muttered. “My fault entirely.” Brimstone said. Twilight looked confused. “Ivy mistakes Brimstone for food.” Luna said, straining to hold back a giggle. “He smells good enough to eat.” Ivy said in a low whisper. “Does Minerva look crunchy?” Twilight asked. “TWILIGHT SPARKLE!” Cadance cried in alarm. Ivy slumped. “I was trying to make a joke. Why is it that Luna makes jokes and everything is funny but when I make a joke ponies look at me like I just brought about the apocalypse?” “You are an egghead?” Brimstone offered helpfully. Luna chortled. Cadance scowled and looked at her student. Minerva returned her glance. They both nodded. “I can read an entire Daring Do novel all by my self. Does that make me an egghead? Ivy questioned. “Probably,” said Twilight, scowling, “But so what if it does.” “I am an egghead.” Brimstone announced. “I am memorising my set of encyclopedias!” Luna groaned. “Good for you Brimstone.” Said Twilight. “I can play the trumpet.” Minerva offered, trying to join in and change the subject to something more appropriate. “I’d like to hear you play the trumpet.” Brimstone replied. There was a faint squeal from the gate, and six heads turned. A filly came forward, with a blue coat and a wild purple-blue indigo mane. Celestia stood behind her. The filly’s nose was crinkled. “Hoodwink, your new friends.” Hoodwink said nothing, and tried to back out of the small private garden. She bumped into Celestia. She gave Celestia a pleading look, and Celestia gently nudged her forward. Finally, the filly shyly moved forward and took a seat. Ivy leaned over. “Hi.” She said gently and quietly to the filly sitting next to her. “My mother is shy too. I know what it’s like.” Hoodwink looked at Ivy. “I miss my mother,” Hoodwink sniffled, “but I did something bad.” Ivy wrapped a foreleg around Hoodwink’s shoulder and leaned in closer. “You did nothing wrong.” Celestia’s voice was firm and gentle. “I still feel bad about it.” Hoodwink said. Ivy pulled the filly in for a full blown Ivy hug and squeezed her as hard as she dared. “I did something bad once…” Ivy said in her most comforting tone, the tone she used when soothing animals, the tone borrowed from her mother, “I farted and set the house on fire.” Hoodwink’s mouth fell open into an “O” of surprise. “How do you fart and set the house on fire?” Hoodwink asked. “That’s not important,” said Ivy, “what’s important is, my mama never stopped loving me. And never blamed me for what happened. It took some time, but I stopped blaming myself. I was harder on myself than my mama was.” Hoodwink considered Ivy’s words. She leaned over and squeezed Ivy back. “Feel better?” Celestia asked. “A little,” said Hoodwink, “but I still feel lonely.” “That is only natural.” Twilight said. “I left home at a very early age. I came here to be a student. I didn’t even know that I was lonely until I left school and went to Ponyville. Give it some time. It looks like you already have a friend.” Celestia winked at Twilight, which was unseen by the two fillies clinging to one another. “All of my friends are adults.” Brimstone muttered. “And most of them are lunar pegasi.” Minerva flung her mane out of her eyes with a hoof. “The Silvermanes are considered odd and weird. Nopony in their right mind would let their foals play with the Silvermane foals. When Cadance gave me the offer to come here, I took it because I had hoped to find some friends.” She looked out at the other foals in the group, meeting their eyes each in turn. “I’ve read all about Twilight’s friendships studies. Like any proper Silvermane, I have an interest in unknown magic and magical oddities.” “Sounding more and more like we are all eggheads.” Brimstone stated, matter of factly. “I like books.” Hoodwink stated. “Twilight mailed me packages with books in them. It made mother complain because books took up wagon space.” “I’m your godmother. Somepony had to make sure you could read.” Twilight said, levitating a slice of cake to her plate. “You’re my godmother.” Ivy said. “I am a lot of ponies’ godmother.” Twilight sighed, taking a bite of cake. “Comes with being a good friend.” Twilight popped a notepad into existence and began to scribble something down. “An egghead’s guide to being a godmother.” She muttered under her breath. “There are nine horns at this table.” Celestia said suddenly. Luna shrugged as she tore into a pile of sandwiches. “So what?” Celestia shrugged. Cadance helped her student load her plate. “We need to work on levitation.” Celestia announced. “I can’t levitate.” Said Ivy. “You don’t need to levitate things Ivy.” Twilight said after swallowing. “You have claws. You can grab and hold all sorts of things. And a tail.” Twilight smiled. “Practical demonstration.” She announced. She levitated a chunk of melon with her magic. “Ivy, catch. I don’t want this hitting the table.” Twilight tossed the melon with her magic. Ivy watched the falling melon, and realised it was out of claw reach. She had other ways of catching it though. Ivy’s tongue lashed out and snatched the melon from the air, and she drew it back with a loud slurp. “That was fascinating.” Said Brimstone. “It is how I catch bugs.” Ivy said. “You eat bugs?” Minerva asked. “All the time.” Ivy replied. “How odd.” Minerva replied. “My uncle collects bugs.” “So do I.” Ivy giggled. “Bugs are gross.” Hoodwink said, finally joining in. “I’m glad Ivy eats bugs. Less bugs there are the better.” “I once swallowed a beatle without chewing and it crawled out my nose while I was eating dinner at the table.” “Climbing Ivy!” Celestia said. Ivy slumped. “Oh, Fluttershy fainted. I was there.” Twilight said around a mouthful of custard. “Twilight Sparkle!” “Yes, Celestia?” Celestia sat there for a moment, trying to decide what to say. “The whole point of this lunch together is to get to know one another. This is who and what Ivy is.” Twilight said defensively. Luna horked and hawed, struggling to draw breath. With a cough, she cleared her windpipe and bellowed with laughter. “Luna was there too. You missed a great dinner party Celestia.” Twilight said. “Luna also has blue flames.” Ivy said in a small voice. “I’m sorry, what?” Celestia said, puzzled, her muzzle scrunched. Luna whooped and nearly fell over. She leaned on Brimstone, eyes wide, her ears twitching. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Cadance groaned in discomfort. “Blue fire?” Brimstone said, confusion on his face. Twilight tried to compose herself under the withering glare she was getting from Cadance. “What happened?” Hoodwink whispered in Ivy’s ear, causing a giggle to escape Ivy. “I achieved a master level of communication between myself and Ivy’s unique species.” Luna bellowed, sinking into guffaws. Ivy nodded sheepishly. “Do I even want to know?” Celestia asked. There was a “thump” as Luna slipped off Brimstone and hit the stone tile. “Luna did a magnificent impersonation of a meteor entering the atmosphere.” Twilight said, her face stony. “Her skill at demonstrating astronomical events is unparalleled, as would be expected of the Princess of the Night.” Celestia scowled and exchanged a glance with Cadance. “Do you know what they are going on about?” She asked. Cadance nodded. “Tell me.” Cadance shook her head no. “Ivy” Celestia inquired. Ivy crammed an entire pile of sandwiches into her maw and began to chew. “Mouffull.” She muttered. “I do believe my own mother used her magic to ignite flatus as it was expelled.” Brimstone said in an uncomfortable strained voice. “At least that is my conclusion based upon what I’ve gathered. I’ve read about an ancient ritual that involved igniting flatus as it exited as a right of passage among the ancient unicorns. It signified a level of control and mastery, being able to do several tasks at once, being able to summon fire, and being able to protect your posteriour from the consequences.” Luna slowly sat up, still shaking with laughter. “Thank you Brimstone.” Celestia said uncomfortably. “It isn’t every day that I learn something new.” Minerva giggled, earning a glare from Cadance. She giggled again before gaining control over herself. “Ancient unicorns?” Twilight said, snatching a caramel popcorn ball with her magic. “Everypony in Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns did that at some point. We all knew about it, and nopony believed it worked until they actually tried it.” Celestia covered her eyes with a folded foreleg. “This explains all of the burned tails.” She muttered. “Something in my tale supernovaed.” Luna stated. “It did.” Twilight agreed. “It was pretty.” Ivy proclaimed, after swallowing. Cadance looked horrified. “Your first lesson draws near.” Celestia said in a commanding voice, cutting through the chaos. “You will rest tonight and tomorrow. Tomorrow night, Luna and Twilight Sparkle will be taking you out on your first class. I suggest that you take this time to settle in, spend time getting to know one another, and resting.” Luna became instantly serious. “Make sure you are well rested. I will not accept excuses about sleepy yawns. There will be punishment for sleepy foals that do not pay attention or nod off.” Twilight cleared her throat. “I expect the very best out of all of you. I know what you are capable of. You’ve been chosen to be here. I will not tolerate slacking off. I expect results. I want you to be the exceptional and gifted students that you are. I will forgive almost anything except failing to live up to your own potential. Disappoint me, and you will spend a lot of time hearing about it.” Brimstone shrugged. “I prefer the night.” He said. “I’m scared of the dark.” Minerva said, a faint squeak in her voice. “I’m ashamed to admit it but it is better to do it now than when we are actually out in the dark.” “I can cast a light spell.” Hoodwink said. “It isn’t very bright.” “I could never get the hang of it. The dark makes me panic and then my spell fails.” Minerva looked miserable, she leaned against the table as she spoke. “I don’t want to fail.” Minerva said. “I hate failing. Makes me angry.” “When things in the dark bother me I smile at them sweetly.” Ivy said. “My mama told me to smile sweetly at anything that scares me.” “How does smiling help?” Minerva asked. “Oh, you do not wish to become informed of this knowledge!” Brimstone stated. “What?” Asked Hoodwink. “You don’t want to know!” Brimstone repeated. Ivy smiled her brightest smile, a big toothy grin. Minerva fainted dead away with a thud. Cadance prodded her with a hoof. Ivy stopped smiling and frowned. “I’m sorry.” She sniffled. Ivy looked at Hoodwink, who was staring at her. “You have shark teeth. I saw a shark when I was in Horseshoe Bay with my mother. It was in a big glass aquarium.” Hoodwink wrapped a foreleg around her friend comfortingly. “Climbing Ivy.” Ivy looked at Celestia and squirmed. “Be still Ivy,” she said in gentle tones, “if there is ever trouble, you do what you must to protect your fiends. That goes for you as well Brimstone. If your lives are ever threatened, you do not hold back. Try to reason, try to negotiate, try to deal fairly with your enemies. But if that fails…” “I couldn’t hurt anypony.” Ivy said. “My mama would never stop crying. I couldn’t live with that. I can deal with anything but her being disappointed with me.” “Look after my little ponies.” Celestia asked.