//------------------------------// // True Feelings // Story: All That Remains // by Draconian Soul //------------------------------// It has been a while since I journeyed to Sweet Apple Acres. In fact, I purposely avoided crossing this path, in hopes that I would avoid further depression. Sugarcube Corner and the cottage were the only places that I had to go to. I never had any agenda with Sweet Apple Acres. So when I had to bury my friend under the lone tree isolated far from the barn, I decided not to visit. Because of that, I never saw the place progressed. I was about to find out today. I walked alongside Rarity as she scanned the trees. “No, not that one,” she said aloud, pointing to each one she declined. “No, I don’t think that one will do either. Hmm, how about this one? No…” We continued walking, the breeze gently brushing against our faces. The scent of apples was ripe in the air, and the blossoms fluttering softly in the wind. I suggested several trees as well, hoping that I could find a place for her to rest alongside with me. Most of the trees failed to interest her, and we travelled closer to the barn. In the back of my mind, I wished to stay as far away from the farm as possible. I didn’t to meet whoever had management over it now, I just wanted to stay away from it. Fortunately, she stopped in front of a tall, leafy one, smiling with satisfaction. “This one should do nicely,” she said, walking towards it. She leaned against the tree, sighing in satisfaction. “Yes, this is nice.” She scooted over, eyed me, and patted the grass with a warm smile. “Well, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to sit down and enjoy the meal we bought?” I didn’t say another word, and joined her under the tree. I slowly descended to the ground, resting on the soft, firm grass. I opened the basket, pulling out the blanket that was gifted inside and placing the trays of food on it. I organized the sandwiches and snacks so it would be easier for her to pinpoint where they were. Then I looked up at the tree, expecting something to be there. Of course, it wasn’t, but I always liked to look anyway, to make sure that Rarity was safe. Fortunately, Rarity picked one of the few trees that didn’t bear fruit. I sighed in relief, happy with the fact that her life wasn’t threatened by the falling fruit above. “Okay Rarity, what would you like to eat?” I asked, grabbing my portion beforehand. Even the gentlest of drakes tend to get greedy when it comes to food, and I sure wasn’t going to be shortchanged on that. It would have been a disservice to my gut. “Well, a few of those sandwiches will do,” she said. “And if you don’t mind, I wouldn’t mind trying some of those ‘special cookies’ that Lemon Cake makes for you. But it doesn’t have to be much. I’m not that hungry.” I looked at the batch of cookies. He really went all out this time. I wouldn’t be surprised if the entire kitchen was cleared out just to make me these delectable snacks. I had way too many actually. It wouldn’t be anything to share these with Rarity. Even if there weren’t enough, I would probably give her my last cookie. I’d regret it later, but in the moment, I would feel good about it. I placed two miniature slices of sandwiches on a plate for her, giving her two cookies as well. I went into the box and grabbed a plastic cup, filling it with the lemonade. I pushed both the food and the beverage closer to her, witnessing a smile grace her lovely face once again. “There you go, Madam,” I said. “I hope you enjoy your meal.” “Oh, I know I will,” she said, picking up the sandwiches with her frail hooves. I watched her bring it up to her mouth, slowly opening her lips to bite down on it. Creepy as it may be, I really enjoyed watching her eat. For an old mare, her dentures worked like a charm. Still sharp and pearly white, lacking the wear and age that most get with age. It was as if I was studying her eating habits, very much so like… Like… Before I could complete my thoughts, I felt her hoof knock against my skull. It hurt a bit, like being bucked as lightly as possible. I groaned and rubbed my head, looking towards the bemused Rarity. “Spike, you know that it’s uncouth to stare at somepony while they’re eating!” she exclaimed with a harrumph. “What on Equestria prompted you to do something so undignified?” I had forgotten her disdain for anything uncivilized, and that going against her standards resulted with a buck in the face. When I was younger and… well… just younger, she would let this pass without much a thought. Eating things out of the trash: cute. Smelling like garbage: passable, as long as I stayed away from her and took a bath. Now, if I even glanced at a trashcan with carnal desires, she’d make sure the only trashcan I would even want to get close to is one to vomit in. “Sorry,” was all I could say. I rested against the tree, avoiding her glance as best I could. While I waited for the awkward atmosphere to die down, I picked up the multitude of food I had at my disposal and began to eat. We sat in silence, only the wind there to break the silence, as well as the sounds of us chewing. I would every now and then try to take a glance at her, but swiftly move my head to the side before I was caught, blushing every time. After my fifth or sixth, I didn’t keep track, I finally decided to break the silence. “Nice breeze we’re getting” I said, trying to squeeze out a conversation for the first time that day. “It was a good day to come out and picnic, wouldn’t you agree?” I heard a light giggle, nearly faint because of the whistling wind. “Oh, but of course. It’s made even better by the fact that you’re actually attempting to talk to me today, instead of me trying to talk to you.” I chuckled nervously. “That was really getting to you, wasn’t it?” Rarity hummed. “Maybe a little. But I’m a grown mare, so I can deal with a child’s little tantrum.” She patted my head, causing me to puff my cheeks in agitation. She really loved pushing that button. No matter what I said or did, whenever she felt like messing with me, she would always make a quip about my size. I remained silent, turning away from her for a dramatic effect. “Chin up there, Spikey Wikey!” she said. “I was just joking with you.” “Mmhmm.” “You don’t believe me?” “No, I totally do. I just wish I had the size so you wouldn’t be able to make those jokes as easily. Can’t make fun of a big dragon, can you?” Rarity pushed her mane to the side, smiling devilishly. “Oh please. Even if you were a towering beast, I still could take you down a peg. Besides, we all know that the bigger they are, the easier they are to embarrass.” “Um, Rarity, I think the expression is ‘The bigger they are, the harder they fall’?” Her hoof wavered slowly. “I never liked the saying. I like mine better.” “Whatever you say, Rarity.” I leaned back, blowing a puff of smoke in satisfaction. Most of the food was gone, mainly because I didn’t keep track of the sandwiches involved. With a sigh of content, I looked back at Rarity and gave a gleaming smile. It was probably the first sincere smile that I’ve given to her all day. So it tore me a bit when she didn’t return that smile. For some reason, she had a more serious face, staring out towards the horizon. It was a little disheartening. I finally had the urge to smile, to show that I was happy, and there she was, looking quite unhappy herself. I couldn’t have that. “Rarity, are you okay?” I asked. There was no answer. She just sat there, staring towards the barn. The thought of comforting her arose in my mind, but I didn’t know if I dared attempt it. My mind was rushing with thoughts, questioning every movement I decided to take. However, my body reacted differently. I moved closer to her, and I put my hands on her back. She looked at me, her lips twitching upwards. I sighed in relief, relieved that I didn’t make the wrong move. She turned her head away from me, yet again. “You miss her, don’t you?” My eyes widened, and my heart began to pump hard. Such a drastic turn from a pleasant conversation, one I simply dreaded. “Um, yeah. I do.” “I can tell. You miss them all, don’t you?” There was no point in hiding that fact. It wasn’t like I was doing it particularly well anyway. “Yes.” “I don’t blame you, Spike. I often think about them myself. I could tell how distraught you were when I suggested going there, yet you powered through it anyway. I’m surprised that you were so accepting in coming here.” It took me a moment to get a complete grasp of myself. The ball of emotions coiled in my heart, threatening to escape once again! Couldn’t do that to her. Instead, I decided to give her a reassuring grin and said, “Well, I couldn’t let a lady’s wishes go unanswered, could I?” Rarity sighed somberly. “But that’s just the thing, darling. You’ve done nothing but answer my wishes. No matter what I ask of you, you do it without hesitation. I don’t even believe a single no has escaped your lips when I asked you to do something.” I wanted to correct her, but she spoke the truth. Never once today did I ever tell her no, despite how much I would have liked to. I just did what she wanted, because… well, that reasoning was still swimming in my head. Whatever drove me to doing her bidding without question was beyond me. Other than making her happy, I was just as confused about how I felt as she was curious. “Spike, I must confess, that this wasn’t just a normal friendly outing, like I said it was. I…” She paused, choking on her words before continuing. “I feel as if I have been taking advantage of you.” I was shocked. How could she possibly think such a horrid thing? She could never do that to me, and I needed to tell her that. “Rarity, stop that! You know you aren’t taking advantage of—” “No, Spike. I need you to hear this.” I silenced myself when I saw those distraught eyes. “I should have been upfront with you, and considered your feelings before asking you to do this. This is just as painful to you as it is to me, and I never took that into account.” She began to chuckle in an unsettling way. “It’s funny. The years pass and I’m still as selfish as ever.” Her words were like needles to the heart. It was difficult enough not crying just being around this atmosphere, but for her to say what she said did even more to me than I could imagine. I decided to comfort her, to try to make her feel less guilty about the situation. I leaned into her, caressing her mane. “You needed this more than me. They meant the world to you, and I would never want to prevent you from seeing them again.” She smiled at me, as if she was relieved that I accepted her apology. I should have been the one to apologize to her. If I would have attempted to spend more time with her, rejoicing in the memories of our good friends, instead of trying to hide from them, this wouldn’t have been an issue. I continued petting her hair, hoping that she would relax. From her low hums, it was working. “I’m glad I got a chance to spend this time with you, Spikey Wikey.” My heart began to race. What could she have possibly meant by that? Were my expectations rising too high? Maybe I was getting excited over nothing, but why was I getting excited in the first place? “W-what makes you say that, Rarity?” I asked. “It’s just nice to be out with a friend, visiting the remaining memories of old. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this for me. It means the world to me to be able to see my friends again. I hold these memories fondly. I don’t want to forget like—” And then the silence kicked in again. Both of us knew where it was leading. It was already enough that we were at her burial ground, but to think about her last moments like that, it was tough. We always thought that Applejack would have been the most stable one out of all of us. She remained healthy and headstrong, even after some of our friends began to pass. We were almost certain that she would maintain a sense of sanity. She ended up forgetting about us in her later years. As her hips began to grow weaker, we tried to help her get around the farm easy. Every time we tried, she would throw things at us, tell us to get off her property before she gets the shovel and beats us with it. She became senile, and secluded. The last time I ever got to see her face to face afterwards was to pick up her casket. If only we could have ended on better terms. But there was no point in telling her that. She needed comfort and happiness, not my own agony. To lighten up the mood, I smiled at her and began to chuckle. “Well, even to her grave, she sure did know how to buck some heads. Still kept her physical strength with her.” Rarity giggled. “Yeah, she sure did know how to keep her energy, even till her last moments. Just as lively as ever. A little ornery for my taste, but still lively.” “Not as lively as you, Rarity.” I froze, wondering if what had escaped my mouth was good or bad. I was expecting the worse from the situation. Instead, she rested against me, rubbing her chin against my shoulders. “You flatter me way too much, you know that, Spikey Poo?” There was no hiding it this time. My face went full red, from both her honeyed words and her soft touch. I tried to divert my gaze from her, but curiosity, and the enjoyment of just watching her prompted me to look directly at her. What I saw didn’t help alleviate the blush. It only enhanced it. I don’t know what was so special about my words, but they had enough effect on her for her cheeks to become rosy as well. It was a comforting sight to say the least. I felt loose, and confident. I felt… Like everything was starting to become clear. My confusion was starting to fade away, and my true feelings began to sprout. It was just a matter of me saying it to her. Should I? She was blushing, but she could have just been amused. Girls blush when a guy amuses them, right? No mutual attraction is needed. But then why would she have blushed if I didn’t attract in a way? All these and more started pounding inside my head, with no clear thought being able to form. I sighed. There was only one way to find out, and I wanted to clear up any confusion I might have had. I needed to tell her. “I feel like such an idiot.” Great way to start out, I suppose. I smiled, looking up at the rustling leaves on the tree. “It took me all these years to finally figure it out, to finally come to terms with it. I’m lucky to have somepony like you in my life, Rarity. Every time I talk to you, I feel all warm, and fulfilled. You’re the reason I’ve been able to keep sane throughout these long, seventy years. You’re…. simply beautiful, both inside and out. I know it sounds like I’m rambling now. You’ve probably heard the same thing over and over, but it’s true. I haven’t grown out of my crush from when I was younger. That has stayed, and it grew into something else.” I took a deep breath. I was actually going to do it. My heart was beating against my chest, threatening to escape. I already poured most of my feelings out for her. There was no going back. “Rarity, I—” My confession was halted by a faint yet audible noise. I looked over towards Rarity, shaking my head and chuckling. I should have known this would have happened. “She fell asleep on me.” I couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. There goes all those heartfelt words to her. All unheard, and all a waste of breath. Still, I felt a little relieved. What if I came off a little strong? What if these feelings weren’t truly there? This gave me time to think about this more thoroughly. I wondered if she heard anything I said, as if it actually mattered. Whatever the case might have been, I felt content, and safe, close to the one I cared for. I sat there, allowing Rarity to rest on me while she slept. It was interesting, to say the least, but it was calming. Her breath was soft and angelic, seemingly flowing with the wind itself. Her snores were light, yet melodic, like a symphony used to lull a child to sleep. But what interested me the most, what made me take comfort with her sleep was her chest rising and falling. I was always at peace when she did this. It was a pleasant reminder that she was still with me, that I wasn’t alone. It might be odd to take comfort in such a small thing, but as you get older, and you see the things I had to see, you often find the simpler things are the better. Eventually, sleep began taking me as well. I could sleep knowing that I would wake up next to my princess, still breathing and with me. My eyes began to close, and I began to drift into Luna’s lofty realm. I told myself just a little nap. For maybe one hour. Then I would wake up and check on my mistress. That “hour” soon passed, and the sky was a different pigment than it once was. The orange light was a sheer indicator of how long I had been asleep. So much for only one hour. Still, there wasn’t much to do today anyway. Just me spending an unexpected amount of quality time with Rarity, who was still leaning against me, asleep, peaceful, and still… A little too still. My heart began to pound against my chest. I feared the worst, praying hopelessly for the best. I looked at her, trying to find signs of life. She was still warm, which gave me a sliver of hope. This hope was crushed in a matter of seconds, as I stared at her chest for several seconds. My eyes widened, my stomach dropped, and tears started to form in my eyes. I lightly muttered “No” repeatedly. It increased in tone and frequency as the finalization of the situation struck me. Her stomach wasn’t rising or falling. The only solace I had with her being with me was gone. “No…” Panic and fear began to build within me. “No…” Everything that was worth living for came crashing down in one fell swoop. Overwhelmed with sorrow, tears began to stream down my face as I layed her on the ground, pressing against her chest in a hopeless attempt to bring her back to me. “NO NO NO! You can’t do this to me! You can’t leave me like this!” I kept pressing against her chest, with no results. My arms began to quiver, and the motions became even faster. Nothing worked. “Please, don’t leave me!” My cries were loud, echoing throughout the barn. I didn’t care who heard of my wails. I only cared for on pony at the time. The one I was going to lose forever. I leaned her against the tree, hoping that I could get more leverage that way. Desperation sunk in, and I tried everything I could think of. But everything wasn’t enough. I slowly came to realize that. I leaned against her, hugging her one last time. I couldn’t do this one. I couldn’t bury her like I did the others. I wasn’t ready for her to leave me, and I sat there crying nonstop until my eyes felt like they were flooding. “Rarity. Please… don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone. I can’t—” Then, out of the blue, I felt something happen. I felt her legs buck as she squirmed and grunted. She slowly pried her eyes open, looking just as drowsy as she was beforehand. “Spike, what are you doing?” I lowered my head, exhaling sighs of relief heavier than I’ve ever done before. It was just another false alarm. She was okay, and I wasn’t alone. Though, it did make for an awkward situation. There I was, standing over Rarity, tears filling my eyes and a heartbeat so loud you could hear it from a mile away. I wasn't going to get out of answering the questions she would surely ask me. She noticed my anguish, and rested her hoof on my cheeks. “Spike, why are you crying? Is something bothering you?” I wiped away the tears on my cheeks, forcing a hopeful smile. She was still with me. My fears were put to rest, for now. “I’m sorry, Rarity,” I began, breathing heavily, “but I didn’t know what to do. I thought you had stopped breathing, and I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t want to lose you, I didn’t want to believe that you were—” Her hooves pressed against my lips, and I stopped blabbering. My cheeks began to redden for what felt like the millionth time that day. I stared at her as she began to giggle, louder and louder. “Spike, what on Equestria made you think you would lose me?” she asked, barely able to contain a full laughter. “I was just taking a nap. Nothing was going to happen to me. You worry yourself too much, darling!” I was stunned, motionless and overall, quite overwhelmed. She was laughing at me. I overreacted, and she was giggling away, holding onto her stomach in a fit of laughter. In the back of my mind, I was boiling with anger. How dare she laugh at my concern? I do nothing but pour my heart and soul into her, and she laughs. I wanted to get angry. To yell and be enraged. Instead, I joined her in her laughter. In hindsight, maybe I did overreact. This wasn’t the first time that her breathing stopped momentarily. I should have handled it a little more carefully. With that in mind, I shared a long laugh with her, leaning against the tree with her. We sat in together, riding out our laughter for several minutes. We eventually calmed down, and looked at each other with smiles on our faces. “Yeah, I guess I was being silly,” I said. “We’re all allowed one of those episodes, Spike,” she responded, trying to lift herself off of the ground. I stood up and helped her get on her hooves, making sure she didn’t stumble. Noticing her back was dirty and covered in grass, she did her best to shake it off. It still stuck to her backside, refusing to get off. I couldn’t help but giggle, as she desperately tried to wipe away the grime from her. “So, my mistress has a dirty bottom,” I snickered. “You’d think somepony would be more careful to keep such a sacred area clean.” Those obviously weren’t the right words, because what I said resulted in a buck in the gut, and a loud grunt from her. “Well, you don’t have to be rude about it,” she said with seething anger. With her magic, she took the tarp from the basket and wrapped it around her, hiding her backside from the world. “Great, now I have to get cleaned up. Can’t go around looking like this, nor do I want to wear this crime against fashion all day.” Some things never change. Only she would be that concerned about how she looked in public on a casual day. I never got tired of it. It was one of the many reasons I loved being around her. That, and I could watch her walk around in a lunch tarp for a while. That would be sweet vengeance for her laughing at my despair. “Should I take you back home, then?” I asked. “I could always wait for you to get done with your bath.” Rarity turned towards me with a stoic look. “Actually, I was wondering if I could use the library’s shower, if at all possible.” At first, I was confused, but after the events from today, I figured it was still part of her session to see everypony she used to talk to. “Oh, I understand. It’s just like the other places you went! Fond memories, right?” Rarity put a hoof against her cheeks. “Well, that’s not entirely the case, not this time at least. Though, visiting the library would be nice on its own right, I don’t want to go back to the boutique… yet.” The confusion came streaming right back and I scratched my head, trying to get a grasp of what she wanted from me. Nothing came up however. I was shooting blanks, waiting for her to explain herself, even though I was almost positive she wouldn’t. “I’ll talk about it later, Spike.” And there was the confirmation. She decided to leave me in ignorant bliss. “Right now, I would like to be escorted to the library. It’s starting to get late.” That it was. Luna’s night sky was going to grace our presence at any moment. I stood by her, making sure her cover was tied down tight. Didn’t want to have her embarrassed out in public. “Whenever my lady is ready.” She smiled at me and turned towards the town. “Quite.” There we were, leaving such a memorable location. No tears, no remorse, just memories. I wish they were fonder than what we could remember, but not everything has a fairytale ending. At least we still have her memories with us, even if she did forget about us. The sun had almost completely set by the time we reached the library. The street lamps were beginning to turn on, and the children roaming around the streets were being called home. It was time for the lively streets to die out. This was perfect for me, as that meant less traffic to go through. It was pretty common for me to be knocked around by a few ponies due to my height, so the less, the merrier. I opened up the door, inviting her into my home. As expected, the librarian had gone. I can’t really hold that against her. She has her own business to take care of, so having her stay around the library past sunset would be ludicrous. Still, it would have been nice to have a reading companion around. She loved books almost as much as Twilight. Twilight. It was a shock to all of us to see her go first. I suppose the stress of being a princess got to her after all. I spent years feeling guilty about that. I was by her side most of my life, and I was never able to pick up the signs of her waning health. She ran herself ragged for her people, and in turn, she gave up her livelihood and health. However, when you’re always reminded about your friend because of where you live, you learn to forgive yourself. That or you wallow in your own misery, contemplating whether I should continue moving on. I’ve done both of those. I closed the door behind Rarity, who trotted into the living room, looking around. It was strange. For the first time in what felt like forever, this place wasn’t so empty. No longer were the books my only company. Even if it was for a short time, I had a companion here. A friend. Someone I could trust. “I like how well kept this place is,” she said in awe. “There isn’t any sense of disorganization here. Everything is perfectly in order. Twilight would be proud.” “You think so?” I asked, kicking at the floorboard. “I don’t know. She might get a little upset that a loose piece of paper is lying around on the table.” Rarity snorted. “Oh come on, Spike. She wasn’t that bad.” I rolled my eyes, grinning from ear to ear. “You never had to live with her.” Rarity giggled and continued on. She turned towards the bookshelf, sighing wistfully. The amount of books there never shrank. In fact, I made sure that the numbers grew. What kind of library would have outdated books? I know for a fact Twilight wouldn’t want that. Then, I remembered. A photo album that we all shared. I figured it would be a good dose of memory for the both of us. I felt like I could open the doors to these priceless times without breaking down, finally. “Hey, Rarity. I have something to show you before you take a shower.” “Oh?” She turned towards me, watching as I went towards the bookshelf. I placed the album on the bottom shelf so I wouldn’t have to deal with using a ladder to see my memories. After pulling it out, I made my way towards the table, her following behind me. “Before I do this, are you okay with going on a little nostalgia trip?” She nodded, and I sighed. It was time to have a short refresher of what the past stored. I opened the album up, nearly regretting it on arrival. First image, was the day I hatched, and the filly holding me close to her. “Aww, look at my cute, little Spikey Wikey,” she said, fawning over the picture. “Being taken care of by the precious little Twilight.” “I could do without the embarrassment, thank you very much.” I continued skimming through the pages, looking at my childhood with nostalgic glances. I miss being a kid sometimes. Growing older and wiser is a pain on the mind. A child has no concept of death. No concept of loss. They just live, enjoying their lives. I wish I could share that feeling. We continued skimming through the book. Most of them retold of happier times. Of times that were simpler. I especially took long glances at the group photo we all took nearly fifty years ago. Those days sure did go by. I kind of wish I could have them back. We continued looking at the album for a while until Rarity decided to get up. “Well, that was a fun trip of nostalgia, Spike, but I should really get cleaned up,” she said. “I suggest you do the same as well. Maybe even find something nice to wear.” I cocked my head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Something nice? Aren’t we just going back to your place?” “Yes, but there’s something special back at my place, and I want you looking your best.” I scratched my head, still not catching what she was trying to say. She shook her head and smiled, heading towards the staircase. “I guess I wouldn’t expect you to figure out what I’m trying to do, so I’ll go ahead and say this. Spike, I appreciate all the time that you spend with me. They are priceless moments that I will always cherish.” I rubbed the back of my scales, smiling and blushing. “Ah, Rarity. You know you don’t have to thank me for that. I’m just doing it because I want to. You deserve to be happy, and not alone.” “And that’s why I want to return the favor. Tonight, I’m taking care of the dinner. I want us to relax and enjoy ourselves.” “Well, that’s kind of you, Rarity, but I really don’t want you to have to work so hard just to feed me,” I said. “I’ll take care of the meal if it means you don’t have to.” “While that is kind of you, I never said I was going to cook.” Suddenly, it hit me. My eyes widened, and my jaw nearly fell open. She smiled at my reaction. “I see you’ve figured it out. I hired a pony to cater to us tonight. Let’s call it an outing, but inside.” I nodded, smiling widely. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Now that you mention it, I do have a suit I’ve been wanting to try out, just in case something like this happened.” “Then it’s settled.” She continued up the stairs, looking back towards me with an embracive smile. “I’m going to freshen up, and I expect you do the same when I get out. Pick a good outfit, darling!” “Yes ma’am!” I exclaimed watching her enter my bedroom. When she was out of my site, I couldn’t help but rock back and forth with glee and eagerness. She went out of her way to reserve a dinner date, for us. I know she didn’t say it like that, but it had to be? Why else would she have done that. I found my childish thoughts starting to return to me, and my cheeks reddened. I had to get prepared. What would I wear? How would I impress her? What colors matched well with my scales? I hadn’t cared that much about my appearance in a long time. I haven’t felt like me for a long time. Maybe that’s why she did this. She wanted to spark the flame that went out in my heart, and see Spike for who he was. Well she was going to see him again. He was right here, ready and willing. Time to bring back the dragon that could feel emotions. Time to enjoy my life with Rarity. And enjoy the moments with a newfound sense of happiness. For the first time in forever, I felt whole. “Spike! Spike! Come here, please!” Then I heard her yell. What could have possibly gone wrong? Whatever it was, it was a cry of distraught, and I rushed up the stairs to see what was going on. I pushed the door open, ignoring all logic of her potentially being exposed in order to come to her aid. I immediately regretted doing that. When I walked in, she looked at a glass filled with greenish brown powder. She read the note that was on it, aloud so I could hear it. “Freezing Heart Tonic?” she began, her voice nearly cracking. “When the day my mistress leaves, I’ll join her, too. I will fall asleep, the same way she does. A frozen heart, still and quiet. Painless and peaceful. I… I will not look forward to that day, but I refuse to be alone for thousands of miserable years. I refuse…” I stood frozen, heart dropping and misery returning to me. Not because she found the jar, but her reaction to it. She looked disappointed, ashamed of the idea. She held it out with her weak, flickering magic, her hoof close to her mouth in disbelief. “Spike, what is this? What is this?!” I stood silent, staring away from her. Inside of my mind, I was berating myself for ever leaving it around for her to easily find. So much for a happy, little dinner.