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// Chapter 5 
// Story: Chocolate Pony Sailor 
// by DarthDusk 
//------------------------------//

Hurry up Honeybunch the customer should be here any second now” said Mr. Cake carrying tray filled with cupcakes to the Cake’s packaging station. Mrs. Cake was packing freshly made deserts into boxes so that the customer could have their order ready to go. “Oh, where is Pinkie Pie?!” Mr. Cake looks around in search of their live-in employee but she could not be found anywhere “She should be here helping us!!”
The delivery pegasus that brought the starter kit walked through the front door of Sugarcube Corner with another reorder package in his hooves.
“Uh, I have another package for a Miss Pinka…” he didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence because a pink fluffy missile crashed into him from the back sending letters, magazines, and packages flying everywhere.
“Whew, I think I lost them… Oh hey there Mr. Delivery Guy what’s up?!” said the pink sailor.
“Package for a Miss Pinka…” he was cut off again. But this time he was cut off by a loud noise from far away.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…” the noise was coming from the center of Ponyville at the Golden Oak Library.
“I guess they found Twilight… maybe I should go back and Hey Another Chocolate Pony Sailor Package!!” Pinkie Pie snatched the box out of his hooves; one was bent in a strange angle due to his collision. “MINE” Pinkie bolted up the stairs and slammed the door to her room.
The Cake’s quickly ran to the poor delivery pegasus who was crushed flat on the floor of their shop.
“I’m so sorry sir! Here let us pick you up!!” said Mr. Cake quickly picking up the crushed stallion “What was in that package you gave her anyway?!”
“Uh, Chocolate Pony Sailors” he said trying get his things together; several stamps were stuck in his red mane.
“Chocolate Pony Sailors?!” both the Cake’s yelled in unison with fear on their faces which quickly turned into confusion “what are Chocolate Pony Sailors?”
“Uh, I’m not sure” said the delivery pony finally able to stand up on three legs his other was still pointing in a crooked way “I think it’s some kind of chocolate candy”
“Now what would Pinkie Pie be doing with chocolate candies” said Mrs. Cake wish a look of confusion and fear “doesn’t she have a enough sugar flowing through her blood stream”
“This is probably why she’s even more Pinkie Pie then… well… Pinkie Pie” Mr. Cake replied turning back to the delivery pegasus “are you sure your okay sir?”
“I’m fine now if you’ll excuse me I have many more packages that need delivered here in Ponyville” he dusted off his uniform a cracked his hoof with an eerie snap “Aaugh!!...Duty calls!” and he walked out with a slight limp.
“I feel something terrible is going to happen Dear” Mrs. Cake turned to her husband with worry painted on her face.
“Don’t worry Hunnybun I’m sure whatever happens we can handle it” the baker reassuringly told his wife trying to hide his worry about the sugar crazed pony upstairs.
“Uh, hello it’s me again” the shaky pegasus stepped back into the room with another package from the Chocolate Pony Sailor “I have another one for Ms. Pink…” once again interrupted and face implanted in Sugarcube Corner’s floorboards.
“MINE” a savage Pinkie Pie yelled standing on his back crushing his spinal column in the process and bending his hoof again but in the opposite direction this time. 
“Pinkie Pie What Are You Doing” both the cake screamed in unison  after seeing their employee once again brutally assault the cream colored  delivery pony. But before they could say another word Pinkie disappeared just as quickly as she appeared.
“Hurry Dear” they scrambled to the injured stallion and once again scrapping him of the floor “you’ll have to forgive her she’s not normally like this… well she is… but not so much like this… you understand, right?”
“Uh” He quickly turned around and half galloped towards the doorway and as soon as he was out of the bakery he shot up straight into the air and took off like a certain rainbow maned pegasus and was out of sight.
The Cakes exchanged worried and fear filled looks and slowly returned to the kitchen. Mr. Cake continues to pack freshly made deserts into boxes while Mrs. Cake started on the next batch of cupcakes. 
…..
In the air the delivery pegasus was a bit shaky from his last two encounters with the pink party pony. He was feeling a little dizzy, his eyes were fuzzy, a strange warm felling is coming from his stomach and heart areas but other than that the stallion was fine… for now.
He landed next to the mail cart were two other delivery ponies were one of them was Derpy and the other was a grey earth pony with extra thick glasses. 
“Are you okay?” asked Derpy with a worried look in one of her eyes at the sight of her injured coworker.
“Uh, I had a run in with that pink party pony who works in Sugarcube Corner” he said trying to shake off his dizziness “I just delivered to her two more Chocolate Pony Sailor reorder packages and she tackled me like a hoofball player”
“Oh, Her” said Derpy with a bitter tone in her voice still remembering the flea market fiasco “We still have a few packages that need to be delivered to Her” 
“B…bu…but I just delivered two to her right now…How Many Boxes Are There” the delivery guy stammered in complete shock “how many more packages are there?”  Derpy pointed to a mountain in the back of their cart made entirely boxes and all of them read “Chocolate Pony Sailor Dinghy Crew Reorder”, “To: Pinkie Pie”
“Better get started” said Derpy before taking off into the air with her full mail saddle bag. “You got 496 more boxes to go. See ya!! And tell Her… TO GO EAT LEAMONS AND DIE!!!”
“…help…me…” he said staring at the hundreds of packages and then at the wounds he received from that death trap he must return to. He hooked himself up to the package cart and pulled it. Slowly he walked down the street towards Sugarcube Corner like a criminal heading towards the electric chair or the glue factory.  He was outside the bakery when he stopped dead in his tracks, his hoof just inches away from the doorknob of the bakery. The delivery pegasus stared at the knob as if it were a poisonous spider and it was ready to sink it’s fangs into his hoof, he slowly pulled it away and took a step back “Uh, maybe I should wait for Sunshower’s shift and then…”

KA-POW!!

“MINE!!” screamed a chocolate thirsty rabid pink party pony that pounced out of the nearby bushes. Everything happened so fast but before his world sank into utter darkness he saw a strange creature with a lion’s paw and an eagle claw on the bakery’s roof and he could have sworn it said…
“Everything is falling into place!!”
…..
Ponies were gathering around the front of Sugarcube Corner. They were apparently looking at something lying on the ground which had been brutally mauled, maimed, and mutilated and wearing a blue uniform. Soon a team of medical pegasus arrived on the scene and flew down with a stretcher and lifted the nearly dead delivery pegasus onto it.
“Mommy what is the red stuff coming out of that guy’s ear” asked a little lavender filly looking at remains of delivery pony and then back at her mother who quickly pulled her foal a way and left the quickly. The medical ponies quickly took the delivery pegasus to a nearby ambulance which rushed him to Ponyville general hospital’s emergency room.
“Its jam!!” the mare was trembling as she galloped carrying her foal on her back trying to get her child away from the sight “N…now let’s go for …i…ice cream! Happy Thoughts Sweetie!! HAPPY THOUGHTS!!”
…..
“MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!” a crazed chocoholic Pinkie Pie was in the center of her bedroom surrounded by on ocean of empty boxes and golden foil, chocolate stains covered everything from the ceiling to the walls. The rabid party pony herself was a mess, her coat had chocolate stains and her mane was now shimmering with bits of chocolate candy foil tied up in knots of hair and drool that looked like chocolate sauce rather than saliva was pouring out of her mouth. The blood…chocolate thirsty pony ripped open another box and tore away the foil. “COME TO PINKIE MY PRECIOUSES” Pinkie crammed as many Chocolate Pony Sailors she could into her muzzle. However little did she know that her coat was slowly turning a rich creamy brown color and she had a visitor who was lurking in the shadows of her room.
“Careful my little pony” snickered a smug Draconequus “you know the old saying you are what you eat MWAHAHAHAHAH…SPLAT” Discord was hit in the face by some airborne chocolate. “YUCK!!” he wiped of the chocolate of his face with a mixture of disgust and annoyance. He turned back to Pinkie who was too busy to notice him. “Yes keep eating my pretty… MWAHAHAHAHAH…SPLAT… OH YUCK!! ONE AT A TIME PLEA…SPLAT…AAAAAAA…THAT ONE WENT INTO MY EYE!!”