Chapter Eight
Twilight landed on the balcony outside of her room with a great deal more grace than usual. She skipped lightly forward a couple of paces, her hooves barely making a sound and folded her wings neatly and confidently by her sides. Everything felt so simple, so effortless. She could scarcely believe how happy she was at that moment. She felt as though she had floated back to the castle rather than flown. Somehow, her body felt lighter than air. Her skin tingled beneath her coat and everything seemed distant and far away, almost dreamlike.
Without thinking, Twilight whipped herself on the back of the leg with her tail. The spot where the tip made contact stung for a moment. She was most definitely awake. Not that it would have mattered so much, but it felt good to know that it was her conscious mind that had come to such an important conclusion.
As she trotted effortlessly towards the door which led back into her room, she felt a small chuckle rise past her throat and escape into the silent night. The only time she could ever remember feeling this excited about anything was the moment she had first seen her cutie mark, and while this did not surpass that, it was all she could do to stop herself from bouncing around in circles as she had on that day.
She loved Fluttershy. Well perhaps not quite loved. She had nothing upon which to base her reasoning; no benchmark against which to draw a comparison. She had very strong romantic feelings for Fluttershy, certainly. Was that love? It might have been. She had never felt like this about anypony before and for all she knew, this was what love felt like. Though perhaps she was overthinking things. Did it really matter what the feelings might be called by somepony other than herself? Whatever the feelings were, she had them and she was overjoyed by them.
When she reached the door, she paused for a moment, turning around once more to stare into the beautiful starry sky. It seemed incredible that she had never thought about this before. She was a fully grown mare after all, and young though she was, she knew many ponies her age who had already met a very special somepony. Why was it that she had never considered it? She had seen Rarity chasing after stallions before and Rainbow Dash had an inordinate amount of pictures of one Wonderbolt in particular. Hay, she had even been the best mare at her brother’s wedding. She had just never wanted that for herself before.
Now, it was all she wanted and it was all she could think about.
She walked distractedly towards the edge of the balcony once more, looking out across the city. Canterlot looked truly beautiful at that moment. She couldn’t wait to show Fluttershy around. That would be a fantastic first date: a moonlit walk through the streets of the city she had grown up in. She could show her all of her favourite places: the secluded parks, the quiet cafes and the spot at the top of her street where she used to sit and watch the sunrise. A broad grin spread across her face and the tingling returned as she imagined it.
Still lost in thought, she turned away and made her way back to her room. She closed the door quietly behind her, being careful not to make any loud noises. She hoped to get back to her bed unnoticed. She didn’t want to disturb Spike. He could get cranky if he was woken up before morning. The latch clicked almost soundlessly into the frame and she began tiptoeing across the dark expanse between the door and the bed. She heard the slow, deep breaths of the sleeping dragon, trying to time her movements so that they coincided with them.
She had successfully traversed almost half the distance and was beginning to think she would make it the whole way when she felt something booklike catch on her ankle. Unfortunately, by the time she had realised that the booklike object was in fact a book, she was already too far off balance for that information to be of any use. She kicked the book away and pranced awkwardly from one hoof to the other like an inept ballet dancer. She was still trying desperately to be quiet but despite her best efforts, she eventually tied her legs in a knot that even she couldn't escape from. With a clatter, she fell to the floor.
The moment she hit the ground, she held her breath. Even though the damage was undoubtedly done, she felt like being utterly silent now might make the difference between waking somepony up or not. She closed her eyes, as though this too might help.
“Twilight? Is that you?” No such luck.
Twilight ducked her head, embarrassed to have been so careless. She felt almost as though she had been caught sneaking back into her parents’ house after one of her late night study sessions at the castle library. After a moment or two, she picked herself up and lit her horn, pointing it in the direction of the voice. Spike's bleary-eyed form came into focus.
“Yes. It’s me,” she whispered contritely.
“Where have you been? It must be almost sunrise,” Spike croaked, rolling over in his basket and blinking rapidly.
“I was out,” Twilight answered.
“I know you were out,” Spike muttered, rolling his eyes and sitting up with his arms folded. “What I meant was, where did you go? I was so worried when you took off like that. You just kinda freaked out and flew away. I was going to try to find you but then I ran into Princess Luna and she said that you’d be back and not to worry and that I should try to get some sleep so I came back here. Are you alright?”
Twilight bit her lip and bowed her head. She hadn't even been thinking about how Spike might feel when she had flown off like that. She hadn't been thinking about much at all if truth be told.
“I just had a really strange dream. I needed some time alone to calm down. I'm fine now though. In fact I'm better than fine. I didn't mean to scare you, Spike. I'm sorry,” she said.
Spike didn’t appear to doubt her story, though he clearly suspected that she was omitting some key part of it. He continued to stare at her, waiting for some further explanation. For her part, Twilight suddenly felt very conscious of what she was saying. One part of her was desperate to tell Spike everything. She was so excited about this that she could barely hold it in. However another part of her wanted to keep it a secret. Not because she was embarrassed, she just felt as though saying it out loud might take away from the novelty of it.
“Did I mention that it was a really strange dream?” Twilight repeated lamely.
Spike threw his claws in the air with an exaggerated sigh, flipped his pillow and lay back down with his back facing her.
Twilight felt her stomach clench as Spike pulled his sheets up a little further. He had told her about his crush on Rarity. Although it had been so obvious that he might as well not have. That said, it wasn’t so much what he was telling her as it was the fact that he had been thoughtful enough to do so. She didn’t want him to feel as though she didn’t trust him. She did. It was just that she wanted to keep it to herself for a little longer. Somehow it felt more special when she was the only one who knew. Well, Luna knew too, but she seemed to have known all along so it wasn’t really the same.
She looked over at Spike. She would tell him tomorrow, after the coronation and before she told Fluttershy. That way she could get his opinion on how she should do it. She picked up the book she had tripped over and walked towards her bed. With one last look over her shoulder, she let the light from her horn go out and climbed beneath the covers.
She lay back in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Only then did she realise how exhausted she was. It had been a very long day. So much had happened and she had barely had any time to process it all. She wanted to lie awake for a while longer and make plans for how she would tell Fluttershy about this, but even as she began to imagine the first of many possible scenarios, she felt her eyelids drooping.
Tomorrow promised to be quite as exhausting a day as the one that had just been. She supposed she should get some sleep if she was to face it with any kind of composure. With a resigned sigh, she turned over and hugged herself with her wings, smiling contentedly as she drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
The morning of the coronation had arrived. The grounds and public rooms of Canterlot castle were awash with dozens of highly influential ponies. Amongst them, one could have counted every last member of the Equestrian royal family as well as a large section of Canterlot's aristocracy and several politicians of varying rank from towns and cities across the country. They had been traipsing around the castle and its grounds since very early in the morning and their number was swelling gradually as the morning progressed.
Twilight, on the other hoof, hadn't left her dressing room since before the guests had begun to arrive. She had spent the two hours following breakfast perched on a small plinth, surrounded by a collection of grooms who, having just finished buffing each of her hooves to a flawless shine, were now meticulously brushing every inch of her coat.
The truth was that Twilight only knew what was going on outside that room because one of the grooms, a very excitable unicorn mare with a peachy coloured coat and a gently curled cream mane, had taken it upon herself to provide a continuous stream of unsolicited reports. She would trot back and forth between Twilight and the windows, taking note of the newest arrivals and passing this information on to everypony else. She didn’t actually seem to be doing very much grooming.
Each time she came back, she would announce the names of the ponies and look at Twilight as though she were expecting to hear her opinion on this news. Most of the time, Twilight had no idea what to say. She would just nod her head and continue staring into the middle distance. She recognised some of the names as royalty and others she remembered from greeting them with Celestia at the Grand Galloping Gala. However recognising their names and knowing anything about them were two separate issues.
Rarity would have been better at that, but she wasn’t there. Nor was anypony else Twilight knew for that matter. She didn’t really know why she had expected them to be sharing a dressing room but the fact that they weren’t there left her feeling at loose ends. She had barely spoken a word since they had gone their separate ways. It wasn’t that the grooms weren’t being absolutely accommodating. It was just that she didn’t really feel like talking them.
For all she had convinced herself that she could do this and that everything would be just fine, the proximity of the coronation itself was beginning to take its toll. Her nerves were back with a vengeance and they looked set to stay. Despite all the advice her friends had given her and all of their moral support, it still came down to the fact that she didn’t feel like she was ready for this.
So much had to change. If she had had to choose one thing that had been worrying her the most, this was it. The more tangible aspects had been addressed but even if she knew how to be a princess, she wasn’t sure if she wanted it. Nopony seemed to understand this. They all seemed to be more excited about the prospect than Twilight was herself. For her part, she just wanted to remain the quiet librarian; to practice her magic and read her books just as she always had.
Now it felt like that would never be possible.
Then there was her relationship with her friends. If the lead up to this day had shown her anything, it was how much she needed and relied upon them. She didn’t know what she would do without them. If her royal duties took her away from them, she would be lost. Yet she worried that this might be what would happen. She knew she would still see them. She would make sure of that, but she liked things as they were before or even as they were now, where she could be sure that they would always be around when she needed them.
She looked around the room, trying to find some modicum solace in her surroundings. Her eyes eventually came to rest upon the door. Rarity had promised to come by at some point to make sure the grooms had all done their jobs properly. She couldn’t come quickly enough.
“Are you okay, Miss Twilight?” one of the grooms asked.
Twilight nodded her head and continued to stare at the door.
“Good. Well that’s your hooves and your coat done. We’ll just get your gown on and we’ll make a start on your mane, okay?”
Twilight nodded again and stepped down from the plinth, blindly following the groom behind a set of changing screens. The groom levitated her dress across the room on its hanger and hooked it over the edge of the screens. Then another groom approached carrying a pair of shoe boxes on her back. They both looked intensely excited about this.
“Okay, so if you could lift your forelegs and tuck your wings behind your back.”
Twilight did as she was bidden, crouching down a little on her hind legs to keep her balance. The groom lifted the gown from its hanger and slid it deftly over Twilight’s hooves and head.
“Good. Now, if you would, stand up straight and hold your wings steady.”
The second groom held Twilight’s wings held gently whilst the first groom slid them through two small gaps near the shoulders of the dress. Once this had been accomplished, they went about straightening the material and fastening it at the neck. Twilight stood while they checked for any creases in places where they ought not to be. After much pulling and smoothing out, at last they appeared satisfied.
“Now your shoes,” the first groom said, taking one of the boxes from her companion’s back and opening it.
“Oh, I’m sure I can manage these myself,” Twilight said, smiling politely.
“Of course, Ma’am,” the second groom responded, taking the other box from her back, opening it and sitting it next to the first one. The two of them left her alone behind the screen.
Twilight stood still for a moment, watching the spot where the grooms had been. She wished they wouldn’t call her Ma’am or Miss or anything of the sort. She could never get used to that. It was rather uncomfortable. They were probably older than she was or at least of a similar age. Even if they were attempting to be polite, there was no call for it.
Would everypony start doing that? Treating her as though she was somepony important? Calling her Miss and Ma’am and Princess instead of simply Twilight? She very much hoped that they wouldn’t. At the very least, she imagined her friends wouldn’t. They would know better than to make a big deal out of it. Although...
Twilight shook her head and tried to focus on the task at hoof. Everything would be just fine. She was nervous, that was all. Pre-life-changing-event jitters, that was it. She would be okay. She would get dressed, have her mane styled and she’d be ready. It would be easier once she was in the hall. It had to be. Everything always appeared more daunting imminently before it happened. She had felt just as nervous right before confronting Discord and before fighting off the Changelings and as she had prepared her magic to defeat Nightmare Moon.
Yet at each of these junctures, she had had her friends with her. Their fates on each of those occasions had been pooled together. What befell her would also have befallen them. She had taken strength from knowing that. She would never have let anything bad happen to them. Today wasn’t quite like that, though.
She was alone.
Perhaps not truly alone: everypony would be right there by her side. They would be beside her on the dais; they would be watching as she was crowned; they could help her and they could offer their support, but in her fate and what might become of her afterwards, she was most certainly alone.
She paused as she looked at her shoes, polished and gleaming in their boxes. They had looked so beautiful the day before, a representation of the generosity and kindness of her friends and of her mentor, but at that moment they looked nowhere near as inviting. They were now an ominous reminder of what was about to take place. They looked, to Twilight's eyes, more like shackles than shoes. She lifted one out of its box with her magic and examined it.
No. They were most definitely shoes. Very pretty shoes at that. Why was she thinking like this? How ridiculous? She shook her head at herself. Nothing would go wrong. At least, she has no reason to think that it would. Everything would almost certainly be fine. All this thinking about being alone and the like would get her nowhere. At last, she placed the shoe on one of her hind hooves then repeated the process three more times. Once she was satisfied that they would stay on when she walked, she stopped to admire them. Fluttershy was right, they did look amazing.
Shackles, indeed!
After a moment, she walked out from behind the screen and was immediately whisked away to stand in front of a mirror. She didn’t know what she was supposed to be looking at. The two grooms who had helped her to dress were watching her expectantly. Twilight looked away from them, staring instead at her reflection. She turned on the spot so as to check herself from every angle. There was nothing she could say. She looked as she should.
“Princess? Is everything okay? Is there anything you would like to change?” one of the grooms asked nervously.
Twilight looked over her shoulder, bringing the grooms back into focus. There it was again. 'Princess'. She turned around to face them and smiled.
“No. No, thank you. It's perfect.”
She made her way back to the plinth and hopped up, preparing to have her mane styled. Just as she did so however, there was a delicate knock on the door. Twilight practically leapt towards it, galloping halfway across the room before realising that everypony was staring at her. She stopped abruptly, gave her dress a quick tug and cleared her throat before proceeding at a more dignified pace.
It was going to be Rarity, she just knew it. Perhaps the rest of the girls would be with her, and Spike too. She needed them right now. Any of them. All of them. It hardly mattered. Though if she had brought anypony with her, Twilight hoped it would be Fluttershy. Though, of course, if Fluttershy was there, there would be no time to speak to her alone. No, it was probably best if it was just Rarity.
Twilight stopped in front of the door and grasped the handle with her magic, pulling it inwards. Even before she had opened it fully, a very glamorous, very excited Rarity had bounded across the threshold. Her eyes shone with delight as she examined the room and the grooms. And her eyes glowed all the more when she finally caught sight of Twilight. The moment she did, she let out an excited little squeal and grabbed Twilight in friendly hug.
“Oh my goodness! You look absolutely beautiful, Twilight. I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm so excited! Are you excited?” she asked, holding Twilight at arms length after releasing her from the hug.
Twilight found herself laughing. She had never seen Rarity so worked up about anything. Not even the gala. Her mood was intoxicating. This was why she had wanted her friends. No matter how upset or nervous or worried she was, they always had a way of cheering her up.
“Thanks. You look wonderful too. I guess I'm excited, though I'm still pretty nervous. They're about to do my mane, come and talk to me while they get started,” Twilight said, walking back to the platform where the grooms were waiting.
After a few steps though, she realised Rarity wasn't following her. She turned around to find out what was wrong, but she needn't have bothered.
“What? Do you mean to tell me you haven't even started on her mane?” Rarity shrieked, looking accusingly at the grooms.
“We were just about to—”
“You do realise we are due downstairs in less than an hour?” Rarity said, cutting across the unfortunate stallion who had dared to answer.
“Yes, but the style will only take a few min—”
“I'll take it from here. We've no time to lose!”
“With all due respect, we are perfectly capable of—”
This time, a glare was all it took to silence him and a second was enough to encourage the grooms to head for the door. Twilight gave them all apologetic looks as they were ushered out of the room by a suddenly flustered looking Rarity. She wasn't really sure if this was necessary. They had done a fine job up until now.
Twilight stepped up onto the plinth once more as Rarity muttered to herself manically about the situation. She watched as the unicorn flitted about the room gathering all manner of brushes and curlers and hair drying apparatus.
“Calm down, Rarity. There's still plenty time before we're due to arrive,” Twilight said cautiously. Rarity’s continuous movement was beginning to make her feel dizzy. Having collected everything she needed, Rarity cantered briskly to Twilight’s side.
“Plenty time? Plenty time! It should have been done by now!” she ranted as she selected a suitable brush and began pulling it through Twilight's mane.
Twilight wanted to laugh at the situation: she had thought she was stressed out about this. It appeared that Rarity was taking it far more seriously. Certainly, she looked far more nervous and uptight. Twilight was pretty sure she would have been ready long before time anyway. Rarity was just being dramatic, surely. It had taken well under an hour to style Twilight’s mane the night before. And if it wasn’t perfect, what did it matter in the grand scheme of things? Yet she didn’t dare laugh. Rarity probably wouldn’t see it like that. She looked absolutely serious. She wouldn’t see the funny side.
With the brushing complete, Rarity sprayed a small portion of Twilight’s mane with water and began curling it. Her features were knit with concentration and the silence between them was starting to become uncomfortable. The sound of dozens of conversations carried up from the grounds on the other side of the window along with the echoes of hoofsteps from the corridor outside. Twilight tapped her hooves nervously, glancing around the room without moving her head.
“So, um, Rarity?” she said carefully, when at last the tension became unbearable.
Rarity didn’t speak. She didn’t even appear to have heard anything. She simply continued rolling the wet segment of hair until it was tightly pressed against Twilight's head just behind the right ear. She removed a hairpin she had been holding in her mouth and affixed it to the roller. Twilight wasn’t sure if she should just stop trying. She had been looking forward to Rarity coming so that they could have a conversation. Not so that they could stand in silence. She decided to try one more time.
“Rarity,” she said, louder this time.
“Hmm?” Rarity intoned as she grasped a hair-dryer with her magic and switched it on.
Twilight groaned. The sound would have been deafening, even if it weren’t pointed directly at her ear. As it was, she couldn’t even hear her thoughts, never mind the sound of her own voice. She stood still while Rarity worked, staring quietly into space and becoming more and more frustrated. This wasn’t at all what she had had in mind. On top of that, the roller was becoming very hot. She tried to tune out the slight sting of it.
Moments later, when the sound of the hair-dryer stopped, she gave a sigh of relief. Rarity touched the hair with her hoof and checked a clock which stood just by the windows. She nodded her head, seemingly satisfied that there would be enough time for her to finish up.
“So, Twilight, what was it you wanted to ask me?” she said, smiling.
Twilight stood, slightly dazed. She hadn’t really been meaning to ask anything of any importance. She had just wanted to break that uncomfortable silence. In fact, she hadn’t really considered what she was going to say.
“Um… oh right. I was just going to ask you… How was your morning? And how is everypony?” she asked.
Rarity became far more animated now. Her eyes sparkled as she recounted everything that had transpired since breakfast. It seemed she had spent the morning living her dream while Twilight had been cooped up in a dressing room. Meeting and greeting had made up a large part of it. After getting dressed she had spent the morning in one of the larger drawing rooms, talking to ponies she had met on her last visit to Canterlot. There were far too many names being bandied about for Twilight to keep track of, so she just nodded along.
This was more like it. In truth, she had only really wanted somepony to help take her mind off things and this was certainly helping.
“And of course Fancy Pants was absolutely delighted to see me. You know he’s such a gentlecolt; always so glad to talk to everypony and anypony. It was strange seeing him without Fleur though, I must admit. Word has it that they’ve been seeing a lot less of one another since your brother’s wedding. What a shame. She was such a lovely mare too. I don’t know if she’s here. I haven’t seen her in any case.
"And that just about wraps it up,” she finished.
“Well, you certainly have been busy! What about everypony else?” Twilight asked, far more interested in hearing what her friends had been up to than about a million high society ponies she had barely even met.
Rarity looked over at the clock again and began to unroll Twilight’s mane.
“I’m not sure about Rainbow Dash and Applejack. They went off to the grounds together. I only hope they aren’t making a mess of their dresses. Pinkie Pie spent most of the time galloping back and forward between rooms. I think she might have been doing something to do with this evening’s gala, but you know how she is. It’s impossible to tell what’s going on in her head,” Rarity explained, removing the curler and admiring her work. She led Twilight over to the mirror again.
“There, what do you think?” she asked.
Twilight looked at her mane distractedly, flipping it about and trying to get it to sit as it usually did before she remembered that it wasn’t meant to do that. In that case, it was fine. Had it been worth all the fuss? Probably not, but it was pretty all the same. She had never been overly fussy about her mane-style. She usually just let it do what it wanted to do. Something else was bothering her though. Something far more important than hair. Rarity had left somepony out of her recollection. The somepony Twilight was most keen to hear about.
“It’s lovely. Thank you so much,” she answered quickly without even really considering it. She had more pressing concerns. “What about Fluttershy?”
“Hmm? What? Oh, her mane looks lovely. I don’t think she did much with it, but its always lovely, don’t you think?”
Either Rarity was playing dumb or she had completely missed the point of the question. Twilight decided to try again, making herself clearer this time.
“Yes, it does. But what I meant was, what was she doing this morning?”
Rarity smirked.
“Oh. Well she doesn’t really like meeting new ponies. You know that. She’s not very good in crowds either. She did come along with me for a little while but I don’t think she felt comfortable. I think she went back to our room,” she answered.
Twilight smiled. That sounded about right. Sometimes she was okay meeting ponies when she was with somepony else, though Twilight was given to thinking that she only really put up with this through necessity. Perhaps she had caught up with Rainbow Dash and Applejack. She hoped that was the case. She didn’t want to think that everypony would leave her on her own.
“Oh, and that reminds me. What with one thing and another, I completely forgot. Here,” Rarity said. Her horn glowed with magic and she produced a small piece of paper from somewhere, presumably beneath her dress. She passed it to Twilight.
Twilight looked at the paper. It was incredibly small and folded once in the middle. It also appeared to be gummed together at the opposite end to the fold.
“What is it?” she asked, already attempting to break the seal without tearing the paper.
“Oh, I don’t know. Fluttershy asked me to give it to you. I don’t see why she didn’t just give it to you in person,” Rarity said, bouncing lightly on her hooves.
Twilight's heart skipped when she heard this. She fumbled a little more with the paper before eventually managing to pry it apart. Sure enough, Fluttershy's hoofwriting was immediately visible on the inside. She would recognise it anywhere. It was a note. However, upon reading the words the pegasus had written, she felt as though she had been doused with cold water.
I'm sorry. Good luck.
That was all it said. There was a light hoofprint on at the bottom of the page which took up more space than the writing. Twilight stared at the page, her mind racing. The ‘good luck’ was fine. If that had been all it said, there would have been nothing to worry about. It was the rest of it she was confused by.
‘I’m sorry’. What was she sorry for? Was she saying she was sorry that she had kissed Twilight? That wasn’t good. At the time, that might have been what Twilight had wanted to hear, but now that she had had time to think about things, it was the last thing she wanted to see. On the other hoof, she might just have been saying she was sorry that she hadn’t considered how Twilight felt. Given how she had reacted, that would be a reasonable conclusion. In that case, Twilight would have to apologise for her behaviour too.
Then there was the fact that she had signed it with a hoofprint rather than her name. That was interesting to say the least. The only time Twilight knew of that ponies did that was when they wanted to remain anonymous. Usually on hearts and hooves’ day cards. In fact, nowadays, that was pretty much the only occasion that it happened. Yet she must have known that Rarity would tell her from whom the note came or at least that Twilight would recognise her hoofwriting.
That being the case, what did it mean? Was she trying to subtly tell Twilight that she still had feelings for her? That it wasn’t too late.
“So? What does it say?” Rarity asked, trying to walk around Twilight and read it over her shoulder.
Twilight folded the note up immediately. She didn’t want to have to explain the situation to Rarity. Not right at that moment anyway.
“It says ‘good luck’. I guess she realised she wasn’t going to see me before the ceremony,” Twilight said.
Rarity raised her eyebrow, making Twilight panic. She obviously knew that Twilight was holding back. She opened her mouth to speak, however the moment she did so, there was a knock at the door.
“I had better get that,” Twilight said quickly, thanking whatever forces had conspired to let her escape that situation.
She opened the door to find the white stallion from the day before standing in the hallway outside. He gave Twilight a curt nod and cleared his throat.
“Everypony is taking their seats, Princess. If I could take Miss Rarity away from you, that would be wonderful. I’ll be back in a shortly for you and then we’ll begin. If you could be ready in five minutes, that would suffice,” he said, casting that same air of authority. Twilight stepped aside and nodded at Rarity. The unicorn trotted across the room, giving Twilight a quick hug as she passed.
“Good luck!” she said pointedly with a wink. Twilight smiled and watched them go. When she closed the door, the silence that surrounded her was complete.
The time had come.