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// Entry #34 
// Story: Starswirl's Journal 
// by AlesFlamas 
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These passing months I have begun to doubt my own intelligence deeply. Here I am, a stallion of twenty, with no talent, no purpose. I came to Gilded Lily with such ambition, believing that my job as "royal wizard" would bring some great revelation to light, that in addition to being a vassal of the king I would also discover what I am destined for in this world. Now little remains of my hopes, save for a few hastily written spell concepts, which likely would never have worked anyway. It's no wonder that my mother lied to me. If I had known that my father's job was so. . . well I think I've made it amply clear what it is, but if I had known, I would never have been so eager to have taken his place, and likely he would have died a. . . a humiliated shell of a stallion. Maybe it was for the best that I take his place.

I haven't thought about either of my parents in quite some time. I've been too preoccupied with my depression and the masking of said depression with false smiles and forced laughs. But now that I recall, my father said something to me as he sent me off, that fateful January night. What it was though escapes me. Perhaps sleeping on it will help. Or at least, it would if I could sleep. My insomnia has returned.