It's Way Too Soon for a Climax, Trixie. Get Your Acts Together.
(4)
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By the time Trixie had gotten her faculties unrattled, their attackers had scattered to the four winds. She supposed that made them victorious. Huzzah. Managing to keep in her irritation for a few moments, she set about making sure everypony was accounted for. She found Fluttershy in a tree and Derpy had apparently returned, having fetched Carrot Top’s unconscious form from where they had left her earlier. Good. Growing ranks and no deaths. Yet.
Satisfied, she turned her attention to the new arrival and asked the one question that was burned on her brain. “There’s only one of you?”
There was a distinct lack of glistening, armored soldiers filling the forest clearing she was standing in. She had envisioned the entire blunt force of the Equestrian Royal Guard brought down to bear on Twilight and her minions. Instead there was but one guard in sight, and she demanded answers.
Raising his hoof to his forehead in salute, the Royal Guard stood up straight, his back hooves locking together. “I was sent to find out what was going on, ma’am! I assume you are the good guys? Instinct told me to associate with the ponies that weren’t red eyed.”
A simple investigator? Had she not been perfectly clear that the apocalypse was nigh? “Yes, of course we’re the right side! But what do you mean you were sent to ‘find out what’s going on?’ There’s a big Luna-blasted mess going on!” She gestured to the still smoking portions of the ground that pocked the area. “Where’s the entire Royal Guard? Where are the Princesses? Where are the reinforcements?”
He raised his chin. “I shall quote, ‘Go and find what the hay is being talked about in this mess of a letter. If this is a prank, then fine them five hundred bits. I have better things to do than send out the entire Equestrian guard to respond to a lunatic.’”
She grit her teeth. “Who said that?”
“I was sent by his majesty, Prince Blueblood.”
“No! That letter wasn’t meant for him! I’ve sent other, far more personal letters to the Prince which he never replied to, but this one was different! This was meant for the Princesses! Where are their Eminences?”
“The Princesses are currently indisposed. They are in Saddle Arabia visiting the rulers there. Prince Blueblood has been put in charge of matters temporarily until they return. He has assigned me as in charge of this official investigation.”
“Well this is just wonderful!” She pounded a hoof against her head. “Well you go back and tell him that this is not a prank!”
“I’d need proof of that first, ma’am.” He looked at her seriously.
“Proof? Proof?” She shoved her face into the guard’s personal space. “Do you realize what you just witnessed?”
“Despite red being commonly associated with ‘evil,’ the Royal Guard cannot condemn ponies based upon color association. Those red-eyes could be a condition. As for the storm, this is the Everfree. Wild, uncontrolled weather is common. You citizens should consider yourself fortunate that I’ve been taught how to efficiently disable errant weather.” He nodded at her.
“Oh, well look who has some useful skills.” She batted his still saluting hoof down. “Follow me and we’ll see what looks like a prank and what looks like the end of Equestria as we know it!”
“I would appreciate you showing me the respect an officer of the law deserves,” he said with a steely gaze. “But I will excuse this lapse and assume it’s mere excitability.”
“Excitabili—“ She cut her yell short, responding with a dagger-like stare. “Just follow Trixie.” She led him back to the hut, ramming the door open. The rest of her pathetic resistance looked up at them with inquisitive eyes. She stared at them and gave a slight wave to the guard. “Our reinforcements.” She shook her head and grabbed Zecora with a yank and rolled her onto the floor pushing her in front of the guard. She pointed at the defiant red eyes that stared up at them. “Take a good look and just try and tell Trixie this is a joke!”
He went nose-to-nose with the captive, scrutinizing her eyes. “It appears to be magical in nature.”
“Oh really, I never supposed!” She used her magic to shove Zecora back to the corner of the room and started ushering the guard out of the hut. “Are we done with this prank nonsense now? Can you head back and tell that handsome buffoon that we need every ounce of guard power that is at his disposal?”
“Most certainly not, citizen. I’m going to need an explanation. What do the red eyes mean? Why were they fighting you?”
“There is no time for in-depth explanations! Begone with you!” She waved her hoof frantically.
“It’s necessary.”
Her nostrils flared. Fine, a condensed version was in order. “Twilight Sparkle has been corrupted by an amulet that’s given her unimaginable power and the ability to enthrall others to do her bidding!”
He nodded slowly. “Twilight Sparkle? Celestia’s star student? Hmm, most troublesome.” He rubbed his chin. “And a cursed amulet, you say? Very troublesome indeed, citizen. Well then, that should be adequate. I will return to the Prince and deliver this troubling news. Until I return, you had best avoid all contact with any of these enthralled ponies, stay indoors, and stay away from any windows. It’s for your own safety.”
There was a pause as she blinked at him, incredulity boiling inside of her. “Trixie suggests you leave before she lets out her frustration out on you.”
He frowned at her but proceeded to unfold his wings. As he took to the sky, a burst of light flashed above, tendrils of it spreading down across the area, forming a cage. The space in between the arcs filled with a glowing purple sheen. The guard slowly brought himself back to the ground. “The area’s been encased with a shield,” he said, pointing up at it.
She gave one glance at the magical barrier before turning her gaze on him. “I hate you and everything you stand for.”
***
Her two friends slumped to the cloud floor, breathing heavily. Twilight twitched as the magic she had siphoned continued to course through her. The amulet sparked with red electricity, reveling in the power it was being given. She regained her composure as the last tendril shot through her.
“Thank you, girls. I couldn’t have done this without you.” She leaned down to look at their faces. “You two all right?”
Rarity managed a faint smile. “Of course, dear, we’re… we’re fine. It just took a lot out of me, that’s all. You’re right as rain, aren’t you Pinkie?”
Pinkie gave a small nod. “Okey… dokey… lokey…” A groan escaped her mouth.
Twilight patted them both on the head. “It’s all right my Elements. Your magic was put to good use. With this shield encompassing the entirety of Ponyville, we don’t have to worry about my plan being stopped prematurely.” She stood at the edge of her cloud and looked up at the shimmering dome above her head, following it with her eyes down to the ground. She had captured a good portion of the Everfree and the surrounding countryside past the town proper. It didn’t hurt to have room to expand, now did it? Plus, that foolish band of rebels by Zecora’s wouldn’t be able to escape now, making their doom just a matter of time.
Thinking of which, she needed to see how the next attempt at pulling them in was going. She opened up a communication portal with her underlings. “Attack team, report in!” She waited, tapping her hoof on the soft, spongy material beneath her. “Attack team, respond to your empress! You had better not all be dead! Those lightning strikes had a clear pattern if you had paid attention and counted out the seconds in your head!” A few more taps. She frowned. If they had been foiled twice in a row...
A message flashed back at her. “Hey Twilight…”
She looked quizzically at the battered, blue face before her. “Rainbow Dash? What happened?”
“They won.” She grimaced and rubbed a hoof along her wing. “And I think they got reinforcements.”
“Reinforcements?” she asked in confusion. “From where? How?”
“I dunno.” Her wings moved in a shrugging gesture. “I just saw a royal guard show up before I hightailed it out of there.”
“Royal guard?” she yelled. “Just one? Because there’s not a chance in Equestria that a troop of them came in without my noticing!”
“I… only saw one. Like I said, I’m not big on the details. My head’s still spinning.” She touched it gingerly.
“So just one guard? A single one? Well now that the shield wall’s up, that makes their presence pointless.” Twilight perked her head up, realizing a gaping, unanswered question. “Explain how you just lost!... Again!”
Rainbow Dash ducked her head. “Um… they’re tough, you know? It wasn’t as easy of a fight as I expected. Um… here, I’ll let Applejack explain.” The communication portal disappeared.
Another portal opened up with a disheveled Applejack peering through. “Howdy there, Empress.” She rubbed her bruised nose. “How we got beat? Well… It was kinda hard to wrastle down a buncha ponies when the sky’s tryin’ to turn ya crispy. Begging yer pardon, of course. I’m sure ya knew what you were doin…” She smiled sheepishly.
Twilight brought a hoof to her forehead. “Timing… Pattern…” she whispered to herself. She took in a deep breath. “Fine. It’s fine. Just regroup. It’s only a matter of time before we take them down anyway. They’re trapped inside my shield wall and now that I’ve got Cloudsdale under my control, the conversion is complete. We’ve got to spend the rest of our time finding the last Element. Once it’s under our control we’ll be ready when the Princesses get back and launch an assault. Tell everypony to meet me back at the throne room so we can arrange search parties.”
Applejack gave her a nod and Twilight closed the portal. She gave one last look over her domain and found a smile creeping to her lips despite her mood. How could she be too mad? Total control was so close she could taste it…
***
“It’s just a bruise and a few cuts. Now that I’ve washed them, they should be fine. I'm glad you’re conscious again.” Fluttershy patted Carrot Top's head before looking back over the bandage she had put on Derpy’s wing and was satisfied with how well it stayed on. She was no Nurse Redheart, but she had done her best to mend the injuries everypony had received during the scuffle. It was the least she could do to make herself feel useful.
“You’re a good pony, Fluttershy. If the Empress ever ordered me to kill you all then I’d kill you last.” Carrot Top smiled at her.
She smiled back. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. Though I do hope you don’t kill any of us. We’re only trying to help.”
“I understand and I’m sorry, but if Empress Twilight demanded the end of your lives, then I’d make it happen. It’s just the way things have to be.” She sighed and shook her head. “Twilight wishes and the universe bends to fit her desires.”
Derpy’s ears perked up. “But what if it didn’t? The universe is pretty stubborn. If it had to be that way and then it wasn’t, would an impossibility be made possible? Would Equestria explode?” She tapped her mouth with her hoof.
“No, no, it wouldn’t happen like that at all. Empress Twilight is eternal. She can’t die. So Equestria would not explode. Get your facts straight, Derpy.” Carrot Top frowned at her companion.
“But if Twilight is the cause of it, maybe just she would explode…” Derpy stared into the distance.
Carrot gasped and shook her head in horror.
“That would be horrible!” Fluttershy put a hoof to her mouth. “I don’t want anypony to explode!”
“I want everything here to explode!” cried Trixie as she burst into the hut, the lone royal guard marching behind her. “This entire fiasco is going to drive Trixie absolutely crazy! She might already be crazy! Wouldn’t that be wonderful, you all being parts of her insane imagination?”
“I would find that unsettling, citizen.” The guard stated matter-of-factly.
“I find your singular nature unsettling.” She sneered.
“You should have heard our conversation about exploding,” said Derpy. “It was pretty unsettling.”
“Only to those unenlightened ponies that would find themselves scattered about,” corrected Carrot Top.
“Oh, why don’t you explode!” spat Trixie.
“Nopony is exploding!” Fluttershy stamped a hoof.
“That’s easy for you to say! Have you looked outside?” Trixie gestured to one of the hut’s windows. “There’s a giant shield surrounding the entire region. We’re trapped! No reinforcements getting in and no way to notify anypony in Canterlot!” She leaned her head against the wall.
“Yes, one hoofstep closer to victory!” exclaimed Carrot Top.
“Trixie will bring her hoof one step closer to your face.” She raised it menacingly.
Fluttershy stepped in between them, giving them both a stern look. “We can't be fighting each other. One of you might be under the control of an evil amulet and the other not, but that doesn't mean we can't get along."
The two ponies looked at each briefly before letting their eyes wander the room, both of them sighing.
"That's better." Fluttershy smiled and approached Trixie. "Now, what do you think Twilight’s trying to accomplish?”
Trixie’s mouth twisted in contemplation. “Trixie thinks she’s making a ploy to take over Equestria, starting with Canterlot. She’ll gather an army of extremely loyal followers, storm the city along with a dazzling display of magic and, using intimidation and her cult, she’ll start a craze of dominoing loyalism that quickly turns to a propaganda wave which she’ll ride until the city’s ponies have either converted or been put down, and with the capital under her control, she’ll have easy pickings of the other towns. It’s what Trixie would do if she was in Twilight’s place.”
Fluttershy cocked an eyebrow.
“What? Trixie has had several dreams of taking over Equestria. Who hasn’t? Think of all the things you could change…” She looked up at the ceiling with hazy eyes.
“Um…” Fluttershy stared at her friend, unsure how to respond to such a confession.
“But Trixie doesn’t know how Twilight will deal with the Princesses. That’s a big obstacle.”
“So what should we do?”
“What we need is barricades,” said the guard, stepping into the center of the room, standing as tall as his short form would allow. “With a good defensive perimeter we can hold off any attempted attack by this rebel.”
Trixie gave him a piercing look. “Trixie supposes that would be prudent. We have plenty of wood we can use around here. But we need a more long term solution. We can’t just bunker down here and hope for an all-powerful, bookish unicorn to just fall over, especially not without the help of an army.” She gave the guard another pointed look. “It’s up to us. We’re going to need to foil her somehow. If only we knew what she was going to use to take the Princesses down…”
“Isn’t it obvious? She needs the key to Equ—“
A muffled yell emitted from Zecora, cutting Carrot Top off, the zebra’s hooves kicking frantically as she directed a stern look at her fellow prisoner.
“Um… I mean… I have no idea!” Carrot Top pursed her lips.
“Lies!” exclaimed Trixie, looming over the captive.
“Please, tell us! Ponies lives depend on it!” Fluttershy put a hoof on Carrot Top’s shoulder.
The captive looked back at Zecora’s piercing stare and shook her head.
“Carrot…” Derpy sighed. “Don’t make me have to do this.” She raised a hoof slowly.
Her eyes widened. “You wouldn’t! No, Derpy, I thought we were friends!”
“We are, Carrot, we are… but Equestria needs this. I’m sorry.” Her hoof stretched to her friend's side.
“No, Derpy, no, n—“ Her yells were cut short as she burst out into laughter as her side was poked and prodded.
“I know her weak spot,” said Derpy quietly, her head hung.
Fluttershy gasped and put a hoof to her mouth. She looked at Trixie. “Should we stop her?”
Trixie stared at the procedure with narrow eyes. She glanced up at Fluttershy and narrowed them further. “This is ridiculous.”
“Great Celestia...” The guard turned away from the gruesome spectacle.
“All right! Enough! E… enough!” Carrot Top waved a hoof frantically.
Derpy withdrew her attack. “Sorry.”
“I’ll remember that in your hour of need, Derpy!” She scowled.
“Twilight’s goals! Out with them!” yelled Trixie.
Carrot Top sighed. “She wants the Elements of Harmony. The key to Equestria’s defense. One of the biggest sources of power in the world. She’s missing one.”
Fluttershy quickly became aware of all the eyes on the room looking at her. “You mean… me?”
“Yes, you! You and your amulet are the keys to the kingdom!”
Zecora let out a long sigh through her nostrils.
“What was I to do with that sort of torture?” asked Carrot. “I don’t want to hear it, Zecora!”
“You’re one of the Elements?” asked the guard, approaching Fluttershy with a look of awe.
“Um, yes, I am. I’m Fluttershy.” She smiled weakly.
“As one of Equestria’s key defenders, you outrank me, ma’am.” He saluted her. “I planned on taking charge of this operation but now I am relieved to know there is one much worthier than I to facilitate the protection of these citizens. I await your orders.”
She blushed and ducked her head. “I couldn’t lead an operation. I don’t have any military experience.”
“Perhaps not formally, ma’am, but you’ve saved Equestria from terrible danger on more than one occasion.”
“I just helped. It was really Twilight who did all the defeating.” She unfolded a wing to put more obstruction between her and these far-too-generous compliments.
“But not this time!” exclaimed Trixie. “Now quiet! Trixie is trying to think!” She threw her hooves into the air and moved to one of the hut’s far sides to stare out the window.
Fluttershy moved to join her. “So you have a plan now?”
“Well Trixie considered a negotiation, but she couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to gain from giving you over.”
“Oh…” Fluttershy once again found herself searching for words. “That’s good.”
“So where is your amulet?” she asked, turning to face the Element Bearer.
“It’s back at my cottage.”
“Then why hasn’t Twilight recovered it yet? Your cottage is free for the ransacking!”
“Well… um… it’s part of a bird’s nest.” She let out a sheepish smile and hoped more inquiring wasn’t made.
She blinked. “Your Element, a legendary artifact, is part of an animal’s stick and twig bowl?”
“Well…” She drew idle circles into the floor with her hoof. This was quickly going into embarrassing territory. “Bluntbeak has been suffering from low self-esteem lately. I thought he could use something to make his place look nice so he could feel good about himself.”
Trixie’s eyebrows slowly lowered into a squint.
Fluttershy noticed a fascinating mote of dust on the hut’s floor. “I’ve borrowed it a few times myself because it makes me feel pretty...”
A thick silence reigned.
Fluttershy looked up and smiled again, letting out a nervous squee.
Blinking a few times, Trixie spoke. “Well, it looks like our best plan is to play bird-home wrecker. Trixie will need you to come along to show her which tree it’s in.”
“Won’t Twilight know we’ll be going after it? I thought she was tracking you.”
“Ha, she has to cast the spell to know. She probably thinks we’ll just be holing up here for awhile. She’ll be clueless until the Element is in our hooves.”
“Okay… if you’re sure…”
“Listen up, everypony!” Trixie exclaimed, walking to the center of the hut. “Fluttershy and Trixie are going to retrieve the Element of Kindness from a bird’s nest! Guard, you said you know how to build defenses?”
He looked down his nostrils at Trixie as best he could. “I don’t think you know your place, citizen. Fluttershy is your leader and one of only two ponies here capable of officially handling things. I strongly advise you to stay put and refrain from venturing into danger.”
“It’s okay.” Fluttershy smiled at him. “Trixie’s good at being a leader.”
“So you agree with this plan?” he asked, his brow furrowed.
“Well… yes.” It might not have been the wisest of decisions, but Fluttershy desperately wanted to see her animals and how they were doing. That alone made the plan worth a try.
“Then it’s settled!” Trixie moved towards the door. “The ditzy one can help you build.”
“I don’t think we should let Carrot help. She still has divided loyalties,” said Derpy.
“I think she means you, Derpy,” said Carrot.
“Now’s not the time for jokes, Carrot.” Derpy shook her head. “But I can help Mr. Guard put up defenses.”
“I have a name.” The guard scowled. “I am Corporal—“
“Fluttershy and Trixie are off!” Trixie yelled, quickly making her way outside.
***
The trip was surprisingly uneventful. There was a near snake biting and they narrowly avoided a field of poison joke, but otherwise, the Everfree had been the kindest it had ever been to them. Trixie wondered if it was starting to get the message that ponies were trouble.
Fluttershy’s residence was a welcome sight after the cramped feeling of the forest, with a wonderful view of Ponyville in the distance and bright colors of various flowers and plants surrounding it. It was the same quaint image that she was greeted with when she first arrived and was naïve enough to believe that her trip was going to be routine. She grumbled to herself as they circled around to get a good look at the front and get a bead on the tree that contained their target. It also gave them an excellent view of their obstacle.
“These two again!” exclaimed Trixie. She scowled at the mint-colored mare and her candy-cutie-marked companion that sat in front of the cottage. “I’ve had more than enough of these two!”
“What did Lyra and Bon Bon want with you?” asked Fluttershy, peeking over the bushes they were using as cover.
“They were inviting me over for a tea-party.” Trixie turned her scowl towards her own companion.
She blinked a few times. “They… were?”
“One day, Fluttershy, you’ll learn what sarcasm is.” She rolled her eyes and perked up her ears as their enemies started to converse.
“They had better show!” yelled Lyra. “I can’t believe I’ve been relegated to guard duty! I need to be where the action is! I should be out looking for the amulet! I can serve the Empress so much better than sitting here!”
“Well we probably would be where the action is if we hadn't flubbed up during out last piece of action.” Bon Bon shook her head.
“That was a fluke, a one-time mistake, a pattern not doomed to repeat itself! I refuse to be made a cosmic joke! I am a strong willed mare and right now my will is telling me that if I don't move in the next few minutes, I’m going to implode!” She fidgeted, her whole body shaking.
“No need to be hyperbolic, Lyra.” Her companion watched her movements. “Or dramatic.”
Lyra huffed and tried to stare in every direction at once, her head darting back and forth.
With a sigh, Trixie slumped to the ground behind their bush. “Well, Trixie has dealt with these buffoons before. She sees no reason why it can’t happen again.”
“Didn’t they capture you last time?” Fluttershy asked.
“Details!” she hissed, as loud as a whisper would allow. “This time Trixie is prepared for them! She’ll just make herself look so intimidating that they’ll run off, allowing us to grab the amulet.”
“Actually, Trixie, I was thinking…”
“Yes, Trixie likes this plan! She has yet to put her stage talent to the test against these simpletons. You just hang back here, Fluttershy, and let Trixie take care of this one.” She stepped forward from her foliage hideout and approached the cottage’s guards. ”Your Greatest and Most Powerful Nightmare has returned!” Though she was missing her cape and hat, she felt that she made quite the impressive figure, her head held high, her eyes piercing, and her disheveled mane giving her a wild touch.
“Yes! Sweet, sweet action!” Lyra beamed and pumped a hoof into the air.
“Your luck is uncanny,” said Bon Bon, shaking her head.
“Stand aside or risk Trixie’s wrath!” Her horn started to glow with a menacing light.
“We saw your wrath this morning. We weren’t very impressed.” Bon Bon rolled her eyes.
“Well prepare for an encore that will blow your little pony minds!” Her horn sparked and crackled as she continued to walk closer to them. They were merely feigning courage. They would move any moment now.
“Encore?! We want our money back!” Lyra grinned. “You’re not the only pony with tricks!”
Her confident hoofsteps faltered as she looked into Lyra’s enthusiastic face. Was she missing something? She quickly did a check for any magical traps around her vicinity. Perhaps Twilight didn’t leave the two entirely to their own devices. The reading came back clear. Smiling to herself, she took one more hoofstep forward and felt the ground give way under her. What had appeared to be a harmless patch of grass collapsed to reveal a pit. She had a few good seconds look at its well rounded edges before her face had an intimate meeting with its bottom.
There was a brief thought given to just lying there at the bottom indefinitely, waiting for the world to slowly erode around her, but it wasn’t very comfortable and she wasn’t about to give up on life in a position where she couldn’t complain loudly. She pushed herself to her hooves and shook the dirt out of her mane.
“It’s my pit trap! What do you think?!”
“I think she loves it.”
The red eyed faces of the Enemy peered over her, taunting her with their distance from her hooves. But that’s why the Powers had given unicorns magic…
“Anti-magic net!” Lyra flung the announced item into the pit.
There was no point in reacting. There wasn’t enough space to dodge. Trixie watched as the net fell towards her, enveloping her. She continued to stare up at her second-time captors. She couldn’t think of any appropriate words. The Equestrian language had yet to contain anything that fully expressed her disdain, leaving her to merely hope her burning stare was communication enough.
“I think she really loves it.” Bon Bon barely kept in a laugh.
“I’m thinking about just leaving her in there awhile!” Lyra smiled. “Gloating is so much fun!”
“Uh…” Bon Bon stared behind her companion. “Lyra? Where did all those squirrels come from? And those birds? And… that… bear…?”
The two ponies turned around. “When did the creatures get a backbone?!”
“Nice angry critters! Niiice angry critters!” Bon Bon smiled weakly and waved a placating hoof.
“Retreat!” yelled Lyra. She bounded over to the other side of the pit with Bon Bon following suit shortly after.
Creatures of more kinds than Trixie really felt like counting peered over the pit’s top edge at her. She blinked. They blinked. One of them chattered and then a small flock of birds flew down to her and snatched her net in their talons, lifting it off of her.
“Wonderful. Now how is Trixie going to get out? Does she look like she has wings? Does she look like she knows teleportation spells?” She kicked at the ground while grumbling. “Does she look like she has a purple coat and a mane with obnoxious highlights?”
A bunny pushed through the crowd and looked down at her with disdain. It shook its head, held up a paw, gesturing Trixie to wait, and then hopped away. She rolled her eyes and imagined a scenario in which the pit was her trap except that hers had a wonderful spiky upgrade to it. Just as things were getting wonderfully gruesome in her mind's eye, the rabbit returned with a companion.
“Oh dear, Trixie, how did you get down there?”
“Sheer force of will.” She sneered up at Fluttershy.
“Would you like some help?”
“No, no.” She waved a hoof. “It’s cozy down here. Trixie is considering taking the time to make a summer home in this very spot. Just look at the view.”
Fluttershy tilted her head. “That’s… sar—“
“Of course it’s sarcasm you pile of feathers! Now help Trixie out of this pit at once!” She unleashed her frustration on the dirt walls around her, the subsequent showering of dust giving her coat a browner hue.
She hung limply in the air with as much annoyed dignity as she could muster as her winged-companion carried her up and out of a pit that seemed to be an excellent representation of how her entire day had been going. Hooves back on topsoil, she got a good view at what had scared her trappers away. The entire front lawn of the cottage was now taken up by an army of animals. From rabbits, to mice, to owls, to lizards, to ferrets, to foxes, and even a bear, the entire Equestrian Fauna Encyclopedia seemed to be on display, all of them watching her attentively.
“Trixie,” said their pony leader, making a sweeping gesture to the ad hoc zoo before them, “I’d like you to meet all my critters! Aren’t they all wonderful? They recognized something was wrong with my friends when they showed up here so they all ran away and hid, except for Angel. I found him tied up inside, the poor thing! But once I freed him, he told me where everyone went, so I let them know I was okay and they decided to scare away Lyra and Bon Bon. I just talked with the skunks and I think that’s all of them.” She turned to look at her animals. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet my friend Trixie.” She smiled and laid a hoof on her.
Seeing them look at her with wide eyes and start to move in her direction, Trixie quickly made the decision she wanted nothing to do with such an introduction. “Yes, yes, nice to meet you all. Feel graced to be in the presence of Trixie, Great, Powerful, and yada yada.” She shook off Fluttershy’s hoof. “Now, about that amulet?”
She nodded and flew off to the tree by the side of the cottage. She carefully wiggled the amulet out its wrap of twigs and brought it back. She stared at it in her hoof, watching it glint brilliantly in the afternoon sunlight.
“Now what?” asked Trixie.
“I guess I put it on?”
“Well, Trixie was thinking she might try it on first…” The glint of the amulet gave off a sudden sharper glare into her eyes, forcing her to shield them with her hoof. “Or not. Yes, go ahead and put it on.”
Its owner nodded and put it around her neck, snapping it in the back. It flashed.
They watched as it proceeded to do nothing else.
“Well… that’s disappointing.” Trixie frowned. “But it’s out of Purplecrazy’s hooves. I would say our mission is accomplished. Better head back to Zecora’s before Yelly and her friend get back.”
“Good idea.” She turned to her animals. “All right every creature, I’m going to have ask something brave of all of you. We’ll have to travel through the Everfree Forest to get to our new home. I know that’s a place you’re supposed to stay away from but we have to if we’re going to be safe. It’s very wild so I’ll…”
“Wait, what?” Trixie cut her off. “No, these animals aren’t coming with us! Where will we put them all? What will they do?”
“We have to take them! They’ve been so scared all this time not knowing what’s been going on! I can’t leave them again, I have to take care of them!”
“They were fine all this time. They obviously can take care of themselves. Haven’t animals been surviving on their own for centuries?”
Fluttershy gave Trixie a harsh frown. She backed up a few steps in surprise, unused to seeing such a face directed at her from the Element of Kindness. “I’m taking them with us.”
Trixie ducked her head and kicked at a nearby flower. “Fine, we’ll take your animals. Filthy little things.” A sharp pain coursed through her head as it was slapped from behind. She turned to see Angel sitting atop her back with a withering stare and crossed paws. “You better not ever be around Trixie when she’s alone.”
***
Two slices of bread, some dandelion in between, a few pickles, and a just a hint of mayonnaise and one had a snack fit for an Empress. With a perfect temperature outside blowing its ever-so-slightly cool breeze through her throne room’s open windows, how could Twilight resist enjoying the afternoon with a little laziness as she slumped in her chair?
“Furry assault! They’ve banded together to bring ponydom down!”
However, if there was one thing she had learned from Celestia, the poor doomed alicorn, it was that regality was the ever present garment of leadership. Her dandelion sandwich hovering less than an inch from her mouth, she paused to stare at Lyra and Bon Bon, ignoring their bursting entrance to the room. She carefully took a bite from her food and chewed it slowly while her audience watched tensely.
She swallowed and put the sandwich down on the plate beside her. With a deep breath and calculated frown she returned to eyeing them. “What are you talking about?”
“You sent us to guard Fluttershy’s cottage, and we did, we even captured Trixie, but then we were attacked by every animal in Equestria’s existence!” Lyra waved her hooves frantically.
“It was a fair amount,” corrected Bon Bon. “But still scary.”
“You two were run off by animals?” Twilight rubbed her forehead. She was quickly reaching her limit in regards to her followers’ incompetence.
“There was a bear!” exclaimed Lyra.
She stopped rubbing away her headache and looked up. “There was?” That was very unusual. She could only think of one reason that a bear would approach a pony directly… “Did all the animals seem very organized?”
“Yes, like an army! Like an army of death!”
“It was just more than two ponies could handle.” Bon Bon shrugged.
Her headache upgraded to a migraine and she started to sooth it with both her hooves. “That’s because Fluttershy was there.”
Bon Bon and Lyra exchanged looks.
With a sigh, Twilight opened up a communications portal to Trixie. A startled face looked back at her. She frowned at it. It was quickly becoming a face that symbolized all the little troublesome obstacles against her ambition to reign supreme. “I hear you and Fluttershy rescued her animals.”
“Ha, like Trixie suspected, you haven’t been keeping close track of her.” She smirked.
“Why should I have? You haven’t been doing anything worth paying attention to. I have a country to take over you know.”
She looked down, grumbling. “Well… Trixie has some rebels to guide. So there.” A bird alighted on her head which she quickly shooed away. “Though she could do without all these animals joining her. It wasn’t Trixie’s decision to take them, she’ll tell you that.”
She levitated her sandwich back up to her. Looking at it, she suddenly had a good idea as to what she’d have Trixie do once she was introduced to the freedom of the Amulet. She could be the Empress’s Sandwich Maker. If she was even allowed to live… “Then you do realize that a horde of animals won’t help you stop me?”
“Well of course not. They’re animals. Other than surprise easily intimidated mares, they’ll just eat everything.”
She nodded in agreement. Trixie wasn’t as stupid as she seemed most of the time. She was garnering points in the “Not Kill” decision. “Have you met Angel yet?”
“You mean the demon that pretends to be a rabbit? Dear Celestia, how have you not killed that abomination yet?”
Shrugging, she spoke through a bite of dandelion. “Becudth Fludderthy likth hm.”
“But… why?”
She swallowed. “Your guess is as good as mine. I tend to just stay away from him.”
“Do you think if Trixie ends the little thing’s existence behind some bushes…?”
“She’ll know.”
“Drat.”
There was a pause as Trixie stared ahead of her morosely, eliciting a smirk from Twilight. The poor, silly mare. “You also realize you’ll soon have made two treacherous trips through the Everfree for no real gain, right?”
“Yes, yes, Trixie realizes this. Though she doubts you have any throne room to talk. Just what have you accomplished lately, Miss Empress?”
Frowning at her sandwich, she had to unfortunately concede that the thorn had a point. “Not much, really. Sent out search parties for the amulet but they’re all coming up short.” Trixie held back a chortle and she looked at her sharply. “Hey, I should remind you that you accomplished absolutely nothing with your venture. Completely pointless. Possibly even detrimental.”
“Then Trixie thinks you’ll be surprised to learn that we recovered the amulet! How does that fee—“ Trixie slapped a hoof to her mouth and stared with wide eyes. “Did Trixie say ‘amulet’, she meant to uh… say…. um… amu— let… No wait, she means…”
Twilight barely registered that her magic had slipped and the sandwich had fallen and bounced off her throne and onto the floor. She met Trixie’s wide stare with one of her own. “You’ve got the amulet?” She felt surges of magical energy come from her own, like it was licking its lips in anticipation.
“No! Please don’t end this communication abruptly and intercept Trixie, she meant to say—“
She ended the spell and looked at Lyra and Bon Bon who had been standing there un-dismissed. “Get everypony ready.”
***
Sweat dripped from Trixie’s face as she raced as fast as she could through the thick brush and dense trees of the Everfree. The Animal Lover was close on her hooves, an army of fuzzy, scaly, and featheriness trailing her. She noticed a few hulky figures lurking in the periphery of her vision, shadowed by the canopy, yet they all seemed reluctant to approach adrenaline filled ponies playing the piper. Small blessings.
“They better have part of that barricade up,” she hissed.
“I… think they have all of it up.” Fluttershy’s voice was shaky with surprise as she looked ahead.
Trixie herself was so taken in by the sight before her that she almost slammed into it, stopping just short of a nasty headache. Where the clearing nearby Zecora’s hut used to be, there was now a wall twenty feet tall that wrapped around it, made up of excellently cut logs. The top of it slanted outwardly, the wood sharpened at the edge. The Royal Guard peered his head through one of the many spaces that were patterned on the upper level.
“You’ve returned, citizens. Do not be alarmed by this defensive structure. It’s for your own protection.” He looked over his shoulder. “Pegasus, open the gate!”
A portion of the wall to their side lifted from the ground, allowing them inside. Trixie and Fluttershy looked at each other, looked at the wall, back at each other, and slowly made their way into it. Derpy waved cheerily at them, sitting by a wheel mechanism that Trixie guessed raised and lowered the gate. From within, she could see that the wall had an entire upper deck to it, accessible by several ladders. The guard glided down to them and nodded. He looked at Fluttershy.
“Do you find this structure suitable, ma’am?”
Turning slowly around to take it all in, she nodded. “It’s very suitable.”
“H…how did you accomplish this?” asked Trixie, her jaw unable to move upward. It took her a whole day to assemble a toy log cabin. Luna and Celestia would have a gray hair by the time she finished the wall she saw before her.
The guard looked at her with confusion. “I cut down the logs and assembled them.”
Her jaw found a way to re-meet its counterpart as she frowned. She opened her mouth, thought better of it, and settled for shaking her head. “We need to prepare for an attack by Twilight immediately. She knows we have the Element.”
The guard tensed. “What sort of forces does she have?”
“How is Trixie supposed to know? The whole of Ponyville, probably?”
“An entire town? We must organize at once!” He looked at Fluttershy with concern. “Ma’am, you may choose to fight by my side but I’d urge you to instead seek sanctuary.”
“Hold a hoof,” said Trixie, stepping up to the guard. “Are you thinking about taking on Twilight and Minions all by yourself? Is being crazy a requirement to join the guard these days?”
“It is my duty to protect Equestria’s citizens. None of you are trained members of the militia and as such I cannot have you put in danger. Now please seek protection, citizen.”
“Hole up with two Red-Eyes and a smelly assortment of animals? Trixie thinks not! She is fighting as she always has!”
The guard looked over at the blank-stared creatures that seemed to have claimed a portion of the clearing as their own, a fierce-eyed rabbit standing before them. “Yes, the animals… They are not citizens, and could be put to use as warriors...”
“No, you can’t put them in harm’s way!” Fluttershy squeaked.
A loud horn blasted outside the walls. All the ponies glanced at each other. They ran to the upper level of the barricade and peered down.
It was an impressively intimidating sight. Twilight Sparkle, her eyes glowing with a menacing, cackling crimson, stood before what seemed to be at least half of Ponyville. Her friends were fanned out on either side of her, a semi-organized column of ponies behind each of them, stretching back enough that they disappeared behind the treeline. Lyra, by her empress’s side, lowered the horn she had to her lips.
“Presenting Her Wonderfulness, Twilight Sparkle!”
Walking forward, Twilight stared up at them, her expression deadly serious. She examined the wall they stood on. “Good defensive structure on short notice.”
The guard looked down at her. “Your compliment is noted, traitor!”
“You’re welcome, unenlightened.” Her eyes turned to Trixie. “It’s time to finish things, Trixie. You’ve avoided me long enough, barely escaping my wrath by the skin of your teeth and it’s all been very amusing, comical even, really we’ve had a good laugh. But it’s time to end this little escapade of yours. Surrender, embrace the Meaning of Life, join me as my friends, or resist and I’ll personally set fire to each of your flanks.”
Wracking her brain, Trixie tried to look for another trick up her proverbial hat. They had been plentiful and timely as of yet. Where was one now?
“What do we do, Trixie?” asked Fluttershy, her hunched form just barely enabling her to look down at the army below.
“I urge you not to consult that citizen for military advice. I have the expertise you seek, ma’am.” The guard gave Trixie a sharp look.
“Okay…” Fluttershy turned to look at the guard. “What do we do?”
“We fight!” He shook his hoof into the air.
Fluttershy’s response was to melt further into the wood platform.
“No, it’s way too soon for a Big Fight!” Trixie shook her head. “Trixie was hoping we’d be more prepared before this!”
“You have exactly one minute to give me an answer!” yelled Twilight.
“Yes, yes, cool your dragons!” Trixie called back. How was a pony to come to a decision with a countdown shouted at them?
“How can I help?” Derpy peered over the floor of the upper level, looking up at them.
“Well, if we could find some dynamite and some straps…” Trixie rubbed her chin. Maybe if she just combined a binding spell with one of her firecracker spells… “No, that won’t work.” She sighed. It was tricky to pull a spell, to pull a spell that was right on time. Tricky, tricky…
“Trixie?” asked Fluttershy, easing up to her hooves.
“Yes?”
“We’re going to have to talk to her. I don’t think we have any other option.”
Giving the idea its due consideration, several undesirable outcomes danced in her head, visions of a yellow puddle smoldering underneath a red beam of light. Or worse, a red-eyed Fluttershy. Who knew what sort of unspeakable horror would amount from such a transformation? “Trixie’s answer is still an emphatic no.”
“What if I brought a pony that could speak their language?” Derpy asked, drawing Trixie’s disdainful stare. She could hardly predict what sort of mangled logic was about to make its way out of such a brain. “I’ll be right back!” She flew off towards the hut.
“You’ve got thirty seconds!” yelled Twilight. Trixie had no doubt it was an exact count.
Fluttershy leaned over the rampart. “Listen, Twilight, think of what you’re doing!”
“I’m trying to show you all what life truly is. I’ve given it plenty of thought.”
“Perhaps you should think about it a little more,” suggested Trixie. “Just to be sure.”
“Twenty seconds! I penalized you by five for uncalled for sarcasm!”
Trixie growled but swallowed a retort. There was no wisdom in taunting the all-powerful madmare any further. She closed her eyes and pushed her brain to find her a way out of the situation, it had to have something in its recesses other than fond memories of her many successes.
“Our translator!” She plopped an angry-eyed Carrot Top beside the group. Somehow, Trixie was not surprised. She wondered if anything would really surprise her ever again.
“We’re not different beings, Derpy.” Carrot Top huffed.
With a sudden click, the pieces came together in Trixie’s mind. “Trixie has a plan!” She grinned fiercely, eyeing each of her chess pieces.
“Wait…” Fluttershy stared down at the Element around her neck as it started glowing brightly, pulling its owner closer to its target as a beam of light stretched from it towards Carrot Top.
“Hey, hey, what’s happening?” She twitched and struggled against her bonds. “Make it stop doing that!”
The beam grew brighter and brighter, shifting towards her eyes. With a brilliant flash, the beams disappeared. Their victim blinked a few times. Her eyes had returned to normal.
“Um…” She glanced around at everypony standing over her. “Sorry about the evilness?”
Trixie huffed, her shoulders slumping. “Trixie supposes that works too.”