//------------------------------// // 40: Preparation and procrastination. // Story: Honor the Dead // by BinaryTroll //------------------------------// Honor the Dead by BinaryTroll Pre-read/Edited by Honored Service Chapter 40: “Preparation and procrastination.” -------------- I kicked off the wall and caught the top of the bookcase that passed for my room in Canterlot. After swinging my legs up onto the end, I rolled across the bookcase and dropped into my hammock. Something poked me in the back. I rolled over and grabbed my boots. Carbon fibers interwoven with normal fabrics, titanium alloy toe, shin length with a zip instead of laces. These boots were extremely flexible, durable and excellent for running, sneaking and fighting. They gave a pleasing weight to my movement and were easy to take on and off. They were also custom built and comfortable as fuck. If worn with socks. I sat up and placed them at the end of my hammock before reaching behind me once again to extract my magnificent coat out from under me. I hugged it close for a few seconds, just letting the softness and warmth of the fabric settle around me. I loved this coat, it was the first thing I truly owned through my own hard work. I copied the organization XIII design and made it more practical, I designed the sheathes, specified every measurement, asked for the fabric around the hips to be stiffened slightly so it flares out like it does in the games. I earned the money to pay for it, and it felt so good when I finally swung it around my shoulders. It fit perfectly. It still does in fact. The woman I asked to make it was a bit odd. I'd been asked to carry out an assassination attempt on her, the price was fairly nice for a civilian. So I had walked up to her house with a gun I'd picked up from one of my previous attempts and knocked on the door. She opened it and I tried to shoot her, but the shots didn't fire. She had smiled at me and invited me in, so I accepted. We talked for awhile, and I eventually found out that she was a seamstress. I asked why anyone would want her dead, and she just laughed at me. So I asked her if she could make a coat. She said she could, and that she knew exactly what I'd need it for. I brought her the designs and paid her, after telling my client that she had disappeared. She made the coat, and told me that it would protect me until I had completed the task that had been set out for me by the universe. I guess I didn't believe that whole spiritual task thing, but it's protected me just fine, so I'm not complaining. I lay it down on top of me and rummaged around a bit more. My hand closed around something very soft and fluffy, so I pulled it out. It was a pair of socks. I stared at them for a full minute before muttering, “Luna, you are going to die. Horribly.” A tower or two away “Come on now. Carefully.” I reached out with a small tendril of magical energy and started to snake it towards the small device. “Steady.” I poked it through the rectangular hole and spread it out, matching the shape. “Almost there...” The was a loud crack, and then the door to my room exploded inwards, accompanied by a yell of “YOU'RE DEAD!”. I screamed and lost control of my magic, sending it streaming into the iPod. The device shuddered and sparked a few times, before lighting up in a dark blue. Edward's eye was twitching and his head was cocked to one side. He looked completely unhinged. “I'm going to kill you. I'm going to fuc-” His entire stance changed as he noticed the floating iPod, straightening up and seeming to focus more. “Why is my iPod flying?” I regained my composure and tried to ignore the splintered door. “I was trying to fix it before you burst into the room like a maniac.” He shrugged, all trace of his previous anger gone. “I am a maniac.” He stepped forward and studied the floating device. “That's odd.” I joined him. “What's odd?” He reached out and poked it. “It's not loading how it should.” I raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar use of 'loading'. “What do you mean?” He grabbed it and tapped the glowing rectangle. “See here? That should be an apple symbol on a black background, like on the back. But it isn't. It's your cutie-mark on an indigo background that matches your coat.” That didn't mean anything to me. “So?” He flipped it around in his hands. “So, something happened to it. Your magic is interfering with the programming somehow.” I shook my head. “I have no idea what your talking about.” Edward straightened up and pocketed it. “I'd be a bit concerned if you did. Anyway, thanks for fixing it.” I smiled.“You're welcome.” He turned to leave, but paused halfway out the door. “Socks.” “Pardon?” He turned around. His eye was twitching again. “The fucking socks.” Oh. I smiled evilly at him, throwing up an invisible shield. “Do you like them?” “You know what I hate?” He grimaced. “I hate the color pink. MLP made me realize it could be used well, without making me want to tear my eyes out and remove all parts of my brain associated with sight. You know when it isn't used well? With orange and yellow. Hearts. And not the fun kind of hearts that spew blood everywhere when you rip them out of people's chests.” He raised his hand and clenched it into a claw. “Or ponies' chests.” Was it just me or were his canines getting longer? “No, it's the kind that makes me want to crawl into a hole and die from embarrassment, cause I've never been good with all the sappy stuff.” “So you like them?” I said with a smile, confident in my shield's strength. He placed a hand on the shield and shattered it like it was nothing. “No. No I do not.” I recoiled. “How did you-” “Luna my dear, you seem to have forgotten,” He smiled, showing off a a row of teeth that were far sharper than they should be. “humans are resistant to magic.” I looked up at his smug face and grinned back. “Maybe so, but how resistant are you to a hoof to the face?” “Huh?” I punched him in the nose. “Son of a bitch!” He fell backwards, clutching his face. “That hurt!” I raised an eyebrow. “You were trying to kill me.” He made on odd gesture with his hand, which involved him raising the middle finger in my direction. “I was only going to horrifically maim you so you would look back on this moment every day for the rest of your immortal life and wish you had chosen a pair of nice, plain socks.” He picked himself up and tried to muster up his dignity, which was rather difficult since I caught a glimpse of his new socks and burst out laughing. He stuck a finger each nostril, stemming the tide of blood. “You'll pay for this.” He muttered in an incredibly nasal voice that just made me laugh even harder. “You're getting blood all over my carpet.” I said, finally managing to regain my composure. He twitched slightly and left without a word. I picked up the remains of my doors and tried to fit them back in place for a few seconds, before giving up and letting them sag there in the doorway. I'd get somepony two fix them later. Edward stuck his head around the door, fountains of blood once again gushing from his nose. “By the way, you will literally pay for this, I'm using your medical supplies.” He grabbed two cotton buds off my dresser, stuck them up his nostrils and said, “Now I bid you adieu.” before running off again. “Well that was an eventful morning.” I said to myself, falling back onto my bed. Way to Fancy, clothes store, Canterlot I looked down at my hands, coated in a dull green fur that was almost grey, then up a bit, to my teats. Or breasts. Or udders. Or whatever these things are. Minotaurs are weird. Everything seemed to be in order, although I hope my memory wasn't failing me. It had been a long time since I'd taken on this form. I stopped exploring my new disguise and straightened up, trying to blend in as well as a changeling in the form of a seven foot tall female minotaur could. Just... be casual. Because, you know. That's easy to do when you haven't stood on two legs for a good five or six years. I really wish that Joel could have just done this himself. I inhaled, taking in all the roiling emotions. Hate, love, friendship, ecstasy, lust, a few bits of insanity here and there. A smile creeped onto my face at the variety. I've missed this. I've missed this so much. The clusterfuck of ponies, all running around, worried, stressed, content, happy. In love. It was glorious. I loved them all, the pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies. It's just a shame they didn't love me back. I shook myself out of my thoughts and regained focus. The faster I got this done, the faster I could get back to that steamy love affair. Mmm. Forbidden. The best flavor of love. If I was lucky, I might even get on in a four way. But that was for later. I walked slowly and deliberately into the store, taking care to not fall over or bump into anypony. I tried not to stare at the horrendously impractical array of dresses, suits and other assorted clothing items that lined the walls of the store, instead making beeline for the desk near the back. The pony sitting there was wearing a set of small reading glasses, a beret and an obnoxiously fancy suit. I coughed politely. He punched a few numbers into a calculator and ignored me. I coughed again and said. “Excuse me?” “You're excused.” He replied curtly, not looking up. I sighed. “I'm here to collect an order.” He looked up for a second before returning to his papers. “Good for you.” Well, this one just oozed arrogance. It poured off him like a waterfall. I suppressed the urge to throw up. “I'm Viridi, would you be able to tell me where I can collect my order?” “I suppose I could.” He said, moving a small pile of bits into a bag. I growled. “And you know what I could do? Smash your face into this desk repeatedly.” He looked up at me with the most annoying smile I had ever seen. “But then you wouldn't get your order.” No fear at all. This stallion evidently didn't deal with minotaurs very often. But I think I had a better idea than simply smashing his face in. “Perhaps, but...” I let some of my normal voice flicker through. “it would be rather satisfying.” There was the fear. “That's a rather impressive trick you can do with your voice there.” “Can I just have my order please?” I said, letting my normal fangs to fill my mouth. “It would be a shame if I had to...” I smiled, showing off my razor sharp teeth. “Inconvenience you further.” The stallion stumbled backwards. “Um, yes. Right away.” I watched him scamper off to fetch my package. I was still smiling. Nothing like a bit of fear to brighten up your day. A bit tangy and an acquired taste, but hey. The manager or clerk or whatever he was scrambled back, almost knocking over several display stands in his haste. He handed me the package and said in a small voice, “Your order, Madam.” I took the brown paper wrapped clothes and studied it. It looked a little flat. “Where's the top hat?” “It's collapsible.” He replied, nervously clicking his hooves together. “Now if there's nothing else, I really must be going.” I nodded. “Alright then, thank you.” “Th-thank you.” He stuttered before zooming off as fast as he could. I shook my head and sighed. It would be so much easier if ponies could just do their jobs, instead of having to be all high and mighty about it. I much preferred Ponyville. At least they had an appreciation for hard work. I turned and left the shop, package slung over my shoulder. That was an interesting feeling, I was more used to carrying things with magic, or in saddle bags. It felt rather nice actually. I'll have to try out this form more often. Maybe even try being Joel. I grinned mischievously. That would be interesting. But first, I needed to get this package back to Joel. I morphed into a less conspicuous form, a green coated earth pony with a fuzzy orange mane and placed the clothes on my back. It would still look a bit odd, but far less worthy of notice than a minotaur. Now I just had to get back. I looked up at the towers looming above me and wondered why I didn't have any good pegasus disguises. I was in for a long climb. Dammit Joel. You'd better make this worth my while.