//------------------------------// // How do you compliment a pony? // Story: DiE: Glarin Ungard the Berserker // by InsaneJustin //------------------------------// The guards were woken up at 5 am again by Big Mac opening the barn door to gather supplies he would need to start working on the farm today. The guards all slowly woke up and by the time Big Mac had gathered what he needed the guards were up and ready to start the day after breakfast. As they started mixing their ‘breakfast’ up, Big Mac told em what Glarin had told him to tell them. “Sir Glarin said to meet him outside the farm. Just look for where he and Nurse White are, by the park I think.” The guards got a confused look on their faces as they mixed up their food. “By the park?” asked one of the guards as he looked around a bit. “Maybe we are having something like a free day at the park or something?” “That would be nice, to relax at the park with these vests... I think its already giving me a rash or something.” the other guards nodded their heads in agreement. They all set out with enthusiasm after ‘eating’ their breakfast. As the guards walked toward the park they were all buzzing with conversation topics about what they would do at the park today. Their ideas ranged from lounging about too looking for single mares. When they arrived at the park many of them began to worry as Glarin wasn’t visible anywhere. “Is this the right park?” “It’s the only park in Ponyville! How could it be the wrong one?!” “Well, Big Mac did say it was NEAR the park, not in it...” The guards suddenly gulped “Dear Celestia, don’t tell me he has something for us to do...” Just as a guard said that Nurse White had found them and made her presence known. Using her sweet and delicate voice she called out to them “Hello boys and good morning!” All of the guards turned around with a bit of fear but calmed down when they saw she wasn’t in training mode. “Morning Ms. White, Where’s Glarin at?” “Oh, he’s at the building site! Why don’t you all head down that way and meet up with him.” All of the guards watched as Nurse White pointed her hoof toward the hill just off in the distance and look around a bit confused. “Build site?” “Yes, Glarin had the bright idea of having you build his house while you wear the vests. He said it should help you get used to the extra weight, while also building a place for him to live and place for you to train as well.” “Whoa wait a minute. Were building his house so we have a place to train and him to live?” “Basicly yeah. Now get over there and do what he says. I’m on my way back to the Apple Farm too make sure Applejack takes the gem bag she wanted. Glarin put me in charge of a few other things while he supervises the work site.” With a silent grunt the guards headed over the hill she had pointed at. When they arrived at the top they could see numerous amounts of building materials and tools, but no heavy machinery was visible. As they all silently moved down to the site they walked up behind Glarin who was in front of a table writing something out. “Sir Glarin, we are here as requested...” Glarin turned around with a grin on his face. “Aha! Excellent, grab a shovel and get to digging out the area I have mapped out over there! The rope barrier makes it simple. But for depth it needs to be around 18 feet down. Pile all of the soil in one area, were gonna use it with that brick making contraption I got. The Bargain Mart seems to carry everything, and what they don’t have in store you can always order. Such a fine establishment it is.” “Dirt into brick? Won’t it melt when it rains though?” “Hmmm, We’ll just mix it with some of the iron shot cement I bought, that should fix it.” “Iron shot cement?” “You know, the kind of cement you use when you build a war bunker. The Bargain Mart had some, seems to be popular among the ponies in the south. The brick making ma-jigger hasn’t arrived yet, so just get to piling up all the dirt you guys dig up someplace nearby.” “Seriously? Your seriously going to have us dig while wearing these vests?” “Yeah I am, is that going to be a problem? All dwarves work in the mines or doing manual labor before they move on to decide a career choice. Since you aren’t true dwarves, we’re doing this a bit reversed until I think you’ll survive basic training. Besides, This also gives you guys a place to actually start strength training.” “How long are we going to be wearing these vests exactly?” “Until you forget you’re even wearing it. Just remember, this isn’t a race, so pace your selves. Now get to work! All of you!” The guards grumbled as they walked over to pick up the shovels and pick axes. Glarin continued to scribble stuff down on the paper as they worked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Applejack was walking into town with a single cloth sack on her back. It was the gem bag she had picked out after Nurse White reminded her. “Judgeing by how much Glarin got for those 4 bags he converted already, I should get around... 87 bits for this bag. More or less depending on the overall quality of em.” Applejack sighed “That will barely cover the costs of those broken barrels if I buy em in bulk again. Ah sure am glad Twilight decided to hoof that medical bill.” Applejack just kept her pace as she traveled to the Ponyville jewelers and pushed the door open with the door chime jingling. The pony behind the counter readjusted his glasses as he watched her approach the counter. “Good morning Applejack. Am I to assume you’re going to exchange more gems you found while working the farm?” Applejack just shook her head and put the sack up on the counter. “Actually, this bag was gifted to me by Sir Glarin, just came ta exchange em.” “Ah, that Dwarf? Shame all of the gems he brought me a few days ago were all of poor quality and of the common garden variety. Come, lets take a look at what he has given you.” The unicorn behind the counter levitated the bag up and began to bring all of the gems out of the sack and arrange them on the counter based on color, size, etc. etc. It wasn’t until he pulled out a gem that looked like a red tear drop did he stop and bring that gem closer for him to inspect. “My word... can it be?” He brought out his little Loupe and twisted the gem around holding it in the light. “Applejack, I don’t think there’s enough bits in all of Ponyville to buy this off of you.” “What do ya mean?” “This! This gem is a Red Diamond! There’s only 12 known red diamond gems in all of Equestria, and 5 of those have flaws! But your’s is absolutely flawless! Sir Glarin was either extremely generous giving this to you, or he had no idea what he was giving you. The last red diamond was a tiny flawed thing found by 3 little fillies.” The unicorn levitated the red diamond back into the sack as he brought out the last few gems. Two of which caused his jaw to drop as he looked at them as well. Using his Loupe he looked at both of them in the light. “I’ll be able to buy these 2 gems off you, I’ll have to empty my saving but I can buy them.” “You don’t need to go an do that, but uh, what are those exactly?” “This reddish triangle one? It’s a Red Beryl Emerald. This carat size is worth about 2 thousand bits. And this smaller purplish one? It’s a Blue Garnet. This carat size is worth about 3 thousand bits.” “Whoa there Partner, theres no reason to empty your bank on me with that kind of coin. How about you just buy that red emerald and the other gems from me, and I’ll keep that red diamond with the blue one.” “You got yourself a deal Applejack. Id would suggest heading to Canterlot with the other two gems. Look for the biggest and fanciest jeweler you can find. They will be the only ones capable of buying it from you. In fact I bet only one of the princesses themselves would be able to buy that red diamond from you.” Applejack was absolutely giddy on the inside. With all of those bits they wouldn’t even need to make and sell Cider this winter. And by the sounds of that red diamond. They would be able to live in luxury for the rest of their days if she sold it to the right party. The jeweler went to the back and returned a short time later with a sack filled with bits. He placed it up on the counter with a grunt. After which he levitated the gems he bought to the back leaving Applejack with her 2 very expensive and rare gems. “Good to do business with you Applejack.” He gave off a pleasant smile as Applejack loaded the bits onto her back and despite the weight, had a jolly prance to her step as she headed back to the farm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spike was in the library reading a book about medieval knights. When Twilight came down the stairs and paused to look at him. “Spike, aren’t you heading down to the Applejack's so Glarin can get you started on training? I thought you said he was gonna start it today.” “Well, I figured I’d go after lunch, it’s still pretty early actually and that’s about the time I normally went anyway.” “If you say so Spike. Did you already eat breakfast?” “No, I was gonna eat when you got up. You mind making breakfast for two?” “Not at all Spike...” There was a sudden knock upon the door and Spike set his book down as he went to answer it, unsure of who it could be so early. He opened it to find Nurse White, but no Glarin. “Good Morning Ms. White, what are you doing here?” “Good thing I found you, Glarin sent me out to go fetch you if you weren’t already at the apple orchard. You best hurry, because if you’re late he's gonna to make you run.” “Around the orchard? I’m sure I could do a few of those no problem, I’ll just head over after I eat breakfast.” Rose White sighed. “If you say so Spike, Glarin is over a hill near the park. He has the others getting to work in building his house and everything right now.” “Really? Hes putting them to work without giving them a time to adjust to the vests?” asked Twilight as she poked her head out from the kitchen “He says the work will allow them to adjust faster. Now If you’ll excuse me I have one more errand to run before I can return.” Spike waved Nurse White off and closed the door. As he closed it he belched up some green flame and a letter with it. “Looks like you got a letter Twilight.” Spike handed Twilight the letter as she handed him a bowl of cereal with some gems mixed in. “Hurry and eat, you don’t want to be late!” Spike scoffed. “Even if I am late, it doesn’t matter.” Twilight just shook her head in disappointment. “I thought I raised you better than that Spike.” Said Twilight as she opened the letter and quickly read through it. “Oh, Princess Luna is going to make a visit to Ponyville later today to meet with Glarin...” Spike raised an eyebrow. “Luna sent you a letter to tell you she was coming?” “Actually Celestia sent the letter...Spike hurry up and eat.” Spike got a bad feeling as Twilight continued to read the letter over. So he shoveled the rest of his breakfast into his mouth and got ready to leave. As he left and closed the door to the library he saw a bright yellow flash from the window as he left toward the park. When he arrived he looked around for a bit and saw a nearby hill and went toward it. From the top he could see where Glarin and all of the guards were situated. It really did look like a construction site. As Spike got closer to it Glarin waved him over. When Spike was within shouting distance Glarin greeted him. “Hey Spike! Glad you could finally join us!” “Well I would have come later, but Nurse White came by and told me to come here.” “Oh she did?” Glarin turned his head and yelled. “Oye! Rose! When did you tell Spike to get here?!” Rose White came out from behind a large pile of cement bags. “I went straight to the library after telling Applejack about the gems, so like an hour and a half ago I think.” “Well lets just say it takes 30 minutes to walk here. So then, why are you an hour late Spike?” Spike was dumb founded. “Well I uh...” “As punishment for being late, I want you to carry one of those cement bags and run around Ponyville with it.” “Wha!? Why?!” “Because you’re late. Now get to it. When ya get back we can start.” “Sir Glarin, you do know those bags of heavy duty cement you bought weigh 250 pounds each, right?” “Is that all? Better take a second bag Spike, one for each arm.” All of the nearby guards stopped working and looked between Glarin and Spike with wide eyes. Glarin was expecting him to jog around the town carrying 500 pounds? And if he didn’t do it he wouldn’t train him? What kind of harsh treatment awaited them once they got used to these weighted vests? The guards watched Spike walk over and try to pick up one of the bags. After a bit of work he was able to get one. But holding it with one arm seemed like it would be impossible for him. With obvious strain in his voice Spike relayed his trouble. “Glarin, I don’t, think I can, carry another one...” Glarin put his hand to his beard in thought for a moment. “I could have sworn you were strong enough... No Matter. Just give me two laps around Ponyville then.” Spike began to jog away while grumbling to himself. “Nurse White!” shouted Glarin as he watched Spike slowly jog away. “Yes Sir Glarin?” Glarin pointed over at Spike as he handed Nurse White a small riding crop. “Follow Spike and make sure he keeps a steady pace.” White gave a grin with a salute as she ran off to catch up to Spike. After a short while everyone could hear her yelling at Spike to start running again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Luna was on her way to Ponyville in her personal open air chariot, with her new advisor that Celestia had appointed for her just yesterday. Luna thought nothing strange of it as Celestia herself also received a new advisor. Luna had dressed up to meet Glarin, as her advisor had suggested it. She even brought out some neat little accessaries for her to use. “I still think my normal attire would have been just fine Cocoa.” “Nonsense Princess! You must always look your best for your special somepo-dwarf.” Luna sighed. “I knew I shouldn’t of let Celestia talk to the press and send that letter without me. And how many times must I tell you, we are not together. It was just a joke my sister told to get back at me for eating the last piece of cake... But it was totally worth it.” Luna just giggled as she remembered the look on Celestia face as she ate the last slice of angel food cake with blueberries and cherries in it. The look of horror on Celestia’s face as she watched Luna slowly eat the last slice was priceless. Not to mention the tear that ran down her cheek as Luna took the last bite. The rest of the trip was spent with Cocoa giving romance tips, causing Luna to groan. “For the last time Cocoa, we are not romantically involved, it was all a joke by...” Luna was interrupted by the guards pulling the chariot, announcing that they had arrived. Luna just rolled her eyes at them, because telling her in an open air chariot that they had arrived was entirely unnecessary. Regardless, she nodded in thanks as she stepped off her chariot and into the town square. Many of the nearby ponies and griffins bowed at her arrival and awaited what ever announcement she had to make. “Please, go on with your day, I am simply here to meet Sir Glarin.” Some of the mares could be heard squealing in excitement with murmurs going around in the small crowd. “Sir Glarin is near the Ponyville park Princess. Hes got all of the guards building something from the looks of it.” Luna nodded her head and began to briskly walk toward the Ponyville park. As she was walking a light green mare approached her. “Luna, are you here to go on a date with Sir Glarin?” “Wha- No. I am simply here to see how his recovery is doing, and by the sounds of it, its going just fine...” It would seem dwarves are made of some sturdy stuff, she wondered if it would have anything to do with him being a ‘child of the stone’ as he said it. As she traveled to the Ponyville park she was also followed by a mob of ponies and griffins alike. Pegasi and griffins took to the sky’s to watch from clouds while the unicorns and earth ponies took to hiding behind bushes and around corners. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile Celestia and Twilight were plotting what kind of prank they would pull on Luna. “...no we can’t do that Celestia, what if she gets hurt?” “She ate my last piece of cake! That smug look on her face was so...! Ohh! You don’t understand Twilight. The groans and moans she made as she ate it in front of me, it was all on purpose I tell you!” “But still, won’t a spell like that hurt her?” “Oh fine, we’ll just scare her then, I’ll transform you into a monster, then you run out and scare her a bit, the spell will wear off in a few minutes after I cast it.” “But wont I get hurt then when she attacks me?!” “Pish posh Twilight, she’s wearing that magic nullifying jewelry I had made for her. The jewelry in itself is a good prank, but I want to see her scared face. I want to see fear on her cake stealing smug face!” “But what about Sir Glarin, won’t they be together?” “What about him? You think he would attack you, even whilst injured?” “Of course he would! This seems really dangerous for me!” “Then just speak to him, the spell only changes your form, you will still be able to speak and use your magic.” Twilight thought about it for a moment. On one hand scaring Princess Luna seemed like a fun prank. It wouldn’t be the 1st prank she had helped Celestia do. But this one proved to be slightly dangerous... For her. But on the other hand, she would still be able to speak and use her magic even while transformed. So if things did go badly she could just talk or magic her way out of it... “I’ll do it. Just make sure you keep an eye out so nothing bad happens to me!” “Of course Twilight!” Princess Celestia walked up to Twilight and nuzzled her. “Scare her horseshoes off for me.” Twilight just gave a nod “Alright, lets go hide in the forest near Glarin’s 'house', when Luna wanders off by herself alone near the woods, that’s when you pounce.” Twilight just kept nodding her head while Celestia’s horn glowed, they both disappeared in a flash and appeared in the Everfree Forest nearby where Glarin had set up the build site. Everything was visible from their location. They weren't by any means deep in the forest, simply hiding in the tree line. They could see Glarin scribbling some stuff down while seated in his wheelchair at a table. Twilight audibly gulped when she saw that his axes were also on the table. She could also see the 30 guards all diggings not to far from Glarin’s location. They seemed to be working at a relaxed pace, many of them would stop work and relax in the shade for a bit and/or get a drink of water. “Alright Twilight, I’m going to cast the spell on you so you can get used to it before Luna shows up.” Twilight nodded her head and removed her crown and other things she wouldn’t need or didn’t want to risk damaging. As Twilight backed up Celestias horn glowed for a brief time before a small stream of magic hit her, and she was enveloped in a large poof of smoke. “Did it work?” as the smoke dissipated Twilight opened her eyes and looked around. She looked down to her hooves, they had turned into claws. She noticed her fur had disappeared, and she was a light grey color. Her front hooves had been replaced with thick powerful looking claws and her back hooves looked like feet claws. Whatever the proper term was. She was also considerably larger. “Yes it did, quite well actually, this spell transforms you into a Grey Render for 5 minutes, now you will have to practice walking on the two legs as that is how it walks, but we should have plenty of time before she wanders closer to the forest. Now, try standing.” Twilight nodded her huge transformed head and stood up. After a few minutes she had gotten the hang of standing, albit she was hunched over as it gave her better balance. Even hunched over, she noticed that the trees were low enough to block her sight. Standing up she brought her new claws up for inspection. “Celestia, I’ve never heard of a Grey Render before. Is this some made up Monster?” “Well sort of. They tend to stick to Marshes in the Zebra lands. Luna had a bad encounter with one during a vacation we had with mother and father so long ago. She had bad dreams about them for awhile.” “Your going to bring up old memories of fear?” “Playing a fear prank based upon what they fear most is always the best option. Besides, you would agree with me if you saw that look she had on her face when she ate my last slice of cake! Oh, and the hair grow in the shampoo as well, gotta get her back for that. Now keep practicing, you have to be scary when the time comes, why don’t you practice a growl.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The guards working suddenly heard what sounded like low growls in the distance. Many of them stopped and looked to the forest edge but could see nothing. After a bit they got back to work only to hear it again a few minutes later. The guards stopped digging and went to approach Glarin. “S-Sir Glarin, may we have a word with you?” Glarin looked up from whatever it was he had been working on all morning. “Yes? What is it?” “Well, while digging, we thought we heard some creature growling, we dismissed it at first, but it seems to happen again every few minutes.”Glarin stroked a hand through his massive beard in thought for a moment. “Well, I would say lets go monster hunting, but by the sounds of it, you’re all scared. In that case just get back to digging and don’t let it bother you, if whatever it is comes out of the forest. I’ll handle it with my trusty and loveable axes.” “B-but you’re injured.” stuttered one of the guards as he peered over to the tree line. “Oh? Well it sounds like you better step up and do something so I won’t have to if and when the time comes.” The guards audibly gulped at the thought of fighting what ever beast that was making the growling noise. And the thought of them going monster hunting in the Everfree Forest was something they did not want to do. So they all headed back to the dig site and got to work. Moments later Luna arrived at the dig site. Glarin who was still heavily involved with scribbling more stuff down onto that piece of paper, didn’t even notice when she stood right behind him. Luna didn’t want to disturb him, so she peered over his shoulder to see what he was working on. Luna formed her mouth into a little ‘o’ as she looked at his artwork. For being a deadly warrior, his artistic skills seemed to be top notch. It looked like he was designing armor for the ponies. She couldn’t read the strange looking runes he had labeled some of the things with, but it was clearly well detailed. She decided to speak up as she couldn't contain herself anymore. “Are you designing armor for our little ponies?” Glarin’s eyes shot wide in surprise at her voice and spun his head around to look at her. She looked... Different. 'Oh gods, she got dressed up all pretty to see me didn't she?' thought Glarin as he looked at the jewels that he had never seen before adorning Luna. “H-Hello Luna. I didn’t know you were coming! I would have prepared something o-or...” Luna chuckled at Glarin’s panic and flustered speak. “... at least got someplace for you to sit in the shade.” “Did Spike not inform you of my arrival? My sister Celestia told me she had sent a letter to Twilight to expect my arrival...” Glarin thought for a minute. “Well, I haven’t seen Princess Twilight all day, and Spike...” Glarin just hmmed in thought for a moment “...Spike was late for today's training, so he's running around Ponyville carrying a bag of cement, probably why he didn’t tell me. I’m hoping he’ll be back soon. I don’t think it takes more than 3 hours to run around Ponyville twice.” Luna raised an eyebrow at that. “You think he failed to mention my arrival out of spite?” “Bah, doesn’t matter to me, just uh...” Glarin cleared his throat. “... excuse me for a second Princess.” Glarin wheeled himself closer to the dig site and began yelling. “OYE! Get yer Lazy arses up here and make sure our guest Princess Luna is comfortable!” The night guards immediately dropped what they were doing and scrabbled out of the decent hole they had been able to make so far, and rushed to aid Princess Luna. The day guards took a bit longer to get into gear but did as they were told. Much to Luna’s surprise the guards had quickly arranged a place for her to sit and in the shade. One of the pegasi flew into town to buy a large picnic umbrella for her. After Luna was seated and in the shade the guards all bowed. “Do you require anything else Princess?” “Actualy no this...” Glarin interrupted Luna before she could finish. “Of course she requires more! Go fetch some cold water for her to sip at her leisure! And Snacks!” a few of the guards scrambled off to fetch the cold water and snacks. While Glarin just crossed his arms and huffed. “Useless bunch they are. But I’ll have em whipped into shape no problem.” Luna’s eyes widened in a bit of worry. “You aren’t actually going to whip them, are you?” Glarin stroked his beard. “Well, I’d need a whip first...hmm...” Luna gulped as she worried for her guards. “Well, tell me about the armor you were designing.” “Oh, well after I had a good look at what the guards are issued as armor I decided to fashion them a new set they can wear when this training is over. I don’t mean to be rude Luna but, the armor they normally wear wouldn’t even protect them from a heavy sneeze.” Luna chuckled. “Yes I must admit, the armor they get is rather flimsy, its made merely for show I admit.” Glarin hummed. “Well yes that would explain a lot actually. Anyway, the one you saw me working on is going to be for the earth ponies. I called it Juggernaut MK1. I just need to figure out how you ponies work exactly. I’ve seen those front hooves move in ways that simply aren’t possible. Unless you have like 6 joints that bend in every direction.” “Well, there’s actually seven, but yes. We had evolved to make great use of our forehooves.” “Boulderdash, that makes my job a lot harder then.” Luna chuckled as Glarin looked up to the sky in thought. “Yes well, that is part of the reason why our guards only wear breastplates. Too many joints in the legs for our smiths.” Glarin chuckled back at Luna. “You might be forgetting something Luna. I’m a dwarf, just give me some time, and I’ll make something workable and strong.” Luna mused on that thought as the guards returned with a pitcher of cold water, a few glasses, and a large platter filled with all sorts of different snacks. Ranging from small cupcakes to cheese and fruit, pre sliced mind you. As one of her night guards placed the platter next to Luna on the nearby table, something they also brought, she noticed something different about her night guard. “Why Prowl, your foreleg looks so, so muscular. Its only been what, a week?” The night guard blushed at the compliment from his Princess as he looked at his foreleg. “I-I suppose it is. I hadn’t noticed...” at that mention the other guards all looked themselves over and noticed they too seemed to be more cut and had lost a bit of their bellies. “If you think that’s impressive, come see them again in 2-3 months when they will no longer need the vests.” The guards all looked between each other and smiled at the thought of becoming some kind of muscle head behemoth. “Alright you lot, breaks over, get back to work.” some of the guards grumbled as they went back to work while others just looked at their forelegs while traveling back to start digging again. Glarin just sat quietly with Luna under the shade of the umbrella. Things seemed to quickly become awkward as the silence continued. Lunas new advisor tip toed her way over to Glarin and whispered into his ear. “Compliment her you oaf!” Glarin’s eyes went wide at that suggestion, as if it had never occured to him. “You’re looking rather magnificent today Luna.” Luna turned and smiled at him having hardly ever been complimented before, she tried fishing for more. “Oh? And what’s so magnificent about me, hmm?” Luna was giving Glarin a bit of a sultry look, which caused him to sweat a bit “Oh well uh...” Glarin began panic a bit, he's never really had to compliment a female while sober before. He wished he had a couple stiff drinks on hand. Luna kept peering in closer waiting for his answer. “Y-your hips for instance...” Luna raised an eyebrow. “My, hips?” Feeling that he was on the right path, he continued. “Yes your hips are so voluminous. It makes your cutie mark show even better.” Luna pulled her head back and peered at her behind. Sure she had been eating a bit more cake as of late, but she didn’t think it was that bad... Glarin had failed to realize that what he was saying really wasn’t a compliment to Luna. “My hips aren’t that big, are they?” Missing his cue to fix this, he spoke without missing the beat. “Oh but they are Luna! Such stout birthing hips! I have yet to see a pony with hips that are as um, corpulent.” Luna’s advisor face hoofed at Glarin’s stupidity. Luna simply stopped eating the snacks and stood up from her chair. “I, I think I shall take a short walk... excuse me.” Glarin also failed to realize the tone of her voice was down trodden as he watched her walk off. When she was out of earshot Glarin spoke up to the advisor. “I think that went rather well...” the advisor smacked Glarin on the side of the head. “What was that for?!” “You idjit! You just called Princess Luna fat! Now she’s depressed!” Glarin got a look of anger on his face “I didn’t call her fat! I just said she had amazing hips using fancy words!” A griffin along with a pegasi flew down. “We heard everything dude, do you even know what corpulent means?” “I heard it from a human! He used it to describe his loving wife!” the griffin began to laugh before he gave his 2 cents on the conversation “Apparently he didn’t love her much then, corpulent basically means grossly fat.” Glarin pounded his fist on the table next to him. “Dammit! What do I do now?” “Well, she didn’t seem mad at you, that’s a good thing. So if you could maybe explain that you didn’t know what you were saying. Also, include that you’re an idjit, chicks and mares always love it when you admit that. She might forgive you.” Glarin just grumbled “I thought that whole news of us being a thing was a joke, but when I saw her wearing all those fancy jewels that I haven’t seen her wear before... I think this is serious.” Glarin watched as she neared the treeline and sighed. “Well, guess I better get over there and fix this mess I made... wait a minute.” The griffin and pegasi turned to look at him. “What is it? Did you think of something?” they were looking at Luna, she seemed to have stopped and was looking at something. “I just remembered, those green horn guards told me they could hear some creature growling from the tree line earlier...” the griffin and pegasi opened their eyes wide as they looked over to Princess Luna with slight worry. “We need too...” Glarin’s sentence was cut off when a massive grey monster burst forth from the trees and roared at Luna. She quickly backed up as her horn began to glow, only to have it visibly fizzle out. “Glarin we gotta...!” The griffin turned back around to look at Glarin, but his wheelchair was empty and his axes no longer on the table. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I’m not that fat am I?” Luna stopped walking and looked at her rear. She had to admit, she did get a LITTLE bigger. But she didn’t think it was that bad. Maybe she should start dieting again and stop eating all of Celestia’s left over cake. As she sighed she heard a low growl come from the Everfree forest. Luna lowered her stance a bit as she searched the treeline for the source of the growl. When she couldn't find it, she spoke to the treeline with a commanding voice. “Show thyself beast, or begone!” as if on cue a huge grey beast with razor sharp claws and even sharper teeth burst forth from the treeline roaring at her. It was a Grey Render. Just as huge and scary as it was when she was a filly. She jumped back reflexively and began to channel magic into her horn, only to have it fail with large sparks falling from her horn. Luna’s eyes widened in terror as she looked up to the beast, it seemed to smile at her. As if the beast had realized she would be a simple meal. Luna wanted to run, her mind screamed run, but like a deer caught in headlights, she just stood frozen in fear and confusion as to why her magic wasn’t working. As she stared into the grey renders 6 yellow eyes, she lost control of her bladder as a tear began to form in her eyes. The grey Render saw this and looked... sad? Suddenly from behind her she could hear a rough voice yelling her name and getting louder. “LLUUNAA!!” She turned her head to see Glarin sprinting in her direction, axes in hand and turned to look at the Grey render again. This time it looked... scared? Glarin leaped into the air over Luna’s head and landed in front of her, axes at the ready. “Don’t Touch MY LUNA!” Luna promptly blushed while the Grey Render started to back up. Rage activated... Fury engaged Glarin inhaled a breath so deep the bandages on his chest ripped reveling the numerous scars on his chest and back, from the surgery or past battles was unknown. But what they did know, was that Glarin had began to emit a fearsome aura that everyone in the vicinity could feel. His aura was so strong that it seemed to form a ferocious beast above his head. When Glarin roared, so did his aura. The Grey render promptly lost control of both its bladder and bowels and fled back into the Everfree stumbling over its own feet. Celestia quickly rushed over to Twilight, disguised as the Grey Render, and stood between Glarin and her. “This prank seems to have gotten out of hoof. I convinced Twilight to change into the grey render to scare you Luna. I... I didn’t think it would turn out like this...” Celestia turned around to see Twilight cowering behind her, still in the Grey Renders form. Then turned to look at Glarin. “I honestly didn’t expect this to happen Glarin, I had thought you would of sent all of those guards to aid Luna, not to come running out by your self...” Celestia looked at Glarin, his face was in a look of pure fury. The veins all over his body were bulging and pulsing. “Prank?” Said Glarin in a harsh raspy voice. Luna stood up, trying to forget the fact she had just wet herself. “This was all an elaborate prank Celestia? Was this to get back at me for the shampoo thing?” Luna glared at Celestia. “Yes, and for my cake...” Luna sighed and looked at her behind. “I don’t think I will be eating any more of your cake for awhile... But this got way out of hoof!” “Yes well, the original plan was to have Twilight jump out at you, roar, then explain it was all a prank. Glarin’s interference kind of prevented Twilight from explaining in time...” Luna smirked. “Well while I do feel bad for Twilight, something intrigues me...” Luna turned to look at Glarin who still had the look of fury upon his face as he breathed heavily. “Did you say I was, Your Luna?” With a raspy voice Glarin replied back. “Maybe...” Glarin turned and inhaled, only to release a blood curdling roar into the air. His aura was quickly dissipating. As the tension in the air died, Twilight stopped cowering and began to look around. After a few more minutes, the transformation spell on Twilight ended and she returned to normal. At which Glarin scoffed. “Bloody Magic...” Luna sighed and shook her head. “One thing I don’t understand though, is why did my magic not work?” Celestia giggled a bit. “Those jewels you’re wearing for your ‘date’ nullify magic Lulu. I had them special prepared. Just in case. So the risk of you harming Twilight during our prank would be extremely low.” Luna glared at Celestia with a blush on her face as Glarin walked over to Twilight and put a hand on her withers. She jumped a bit but calmed back down when she saw he no longer had his axes. “Are you ok Twilight? Sorry bout the whole tried to kill you thing.” Twilight quickly cleared her throat and stood up. “I-it’s ok, y-you didn’t know! But are you ok? You sprinted and jumped over Luna to get here!” Glarin thought for a minute and took a few deep breathes as he felt around his rib cage. After a bit he took both hands and grunted as he pushed a rib back into place. “Yeah I’m fine.” Twilight's jaw just dropped in horror as he looked around, until he saw Celestia backside and hmmed to himself in thought. Twilight followed Glarin's eyes and realized he was staring at Celestia’s butt. So she whispered to him. “Glarin don’t stare!” Glarin didn’t seem to hear her or not care, as he stared a hole into Celestia’s butt. “Luna, I seem to have made a mistake, when I said your hips were the biggest I had ever seen, well. Looks like Celestia wins, by at least 4 inches on each side... She also doesn’t seem as firm...hmm.” Luna began to laugh while Celestia just blushed as she turned to prevent Glarin from staring anymore. “Perhaps I should lay off the cake as well...”