Vinyl woke up, her eyes still closed. She was mildly aware of a body next to her. She snuggled up next to it, vaguely aware that it appeared to be cold.
“Why’re you so cold, handsome—” she said, turning to see a changeling in bed next to her. “AAAAAHHHH!” she yelled.
The changeling’s eye’s opened widely as it screamed, “AAAAHHHHHH!”
Everyling that was in the room lying on the floor lifted their heads and yelled, “AAAAHHH!!!”
Vinyl’s door slammed open, revealing Octavia rushing in to what seemed to be the rescue, but when she saw the scene, she shielded her eyes and cried out, “CELESTIA! Do you have any decency!?”
“It’s not what it looks like, Octy, I swear!” Vinyl shouted, waving her forelegs in the air in front of her. The changeling in bed with her sat up and looked at her, then Octavia quizzically.
“What does it look like we did?” it asked.
Vinyl blushed. “Um, knock boots.”
“But we weren’t wearing any boots. I don’t even own any boots.”
Octavia shook her head. “She means have relations.”
The changeling stared at Octavia confusedly. “But we already have excellent relations.”
Vinyl giggled. “No, she means do the humpty-dump.” she said, thrusting her hips.
“I am unaware of what you’re referencing.”
Octavia growled and snorted. “She means did you do it?”
“Do what?” the changeling replied.
“You know, what nineteen-sixty-nine does for a living.” Vinyl said.
The changeling looked around. “I don’t sense any magical signatures, so I don’t see how we could have possibly done that.”
“So we didn’t sleep together.” Vinyl said with a sigh.
The changeling laughed. It was a most unsettling sound that made both Vinyl and Octavia cringe. “I don’t know what you call last night, but it was certainly not sleeping.”
“So it looks like you had intercourse with her.” Octavia flashed.
The changeling looked around at Octavia, then Vinyl, then Octavia again. “Then this is exactly what it looks like.” it said with a nod. Octavia’s and Vinyl’s jaws both dropped at that. The changeling had a bemused look on its face, then pointed a hoof at Vinyl. “She came on to me.” it stated.
“Vinyl!” Octavia screamed.
“Hey, I was wasted!” Vinyl said, blushing.
“That’s no excuse for sleeping with a filthy changer!”
“Technically, there was no sleeping—” the changeling started.
“SHUT UP!” Octavia roared at the changeling, who shrank back.
Vinyl glared at Octavia. “Yo, not cool, Octy!”
Octavia glared at Vinyl. “What. Is not cool?”
“The racism. I don’t fly like that. That’s like calling them buggers—”
“Technically, we’re more—”
“—closely related to crustaceans.” two of the changelings on the floor said.
“Great. My roommate slept with a lobster…” Octavia grumbled.
“That sounds like a great idea for a book!” Vinyl helpfully added. Octavia bore a hole into Vinyl’s forehead with her eyes. Not helpful enough, apparently.
Octavia stepped over the changelings and looked out Vinyl’s window. “Well, I can’t kick you out even if I wanted to.”
Vinyl and the changelings stared at Octavia. “Why can’t you—”
“—kick us out?” two changelings asked.
Vinyl eyeballed Octavia. “And more importantly, why would you kick me oat?” she said, then blushed. She was slipping into her Caneighdian accent again. That seemed to happen whenever she got angry.
Octavia shook her head, ignoring Vinyl. “Because there’s eight inches of snow outside, and it looks like there’ll be a lot more. Looks like the pegasi really mucked up this time.”
Vinyl shot out of bed and zoomed over to the window, pressing her face on it while touching it with her hooves. “Cooool!” Octavia back away in disgust, Vinyl not noticing. “Can we go outside and make a snowpony?”
“No, Vinyl. In fact, I don’t want anything to do with you right now.” Octavia said as she walked out of Vinyl’s room, followed by the door to her room slamming. Vinyl glared in the direction that Octavia was walking.
“Racist!” she yelled.
“Technically, we’re our own species.” One of the changelings said.
Vinyl looked down, chin in hoof. “Hmmm, I guess you’re right. SPECIEIST!” she yelled, then looked back at the gaggle of changelings in her room, one of which was still in her bed. “Specieist sounds right, right?”
“Um, I think specist sounds a lot better.” another changeling said. Vinyl sat on her haunches, holding her forehooves up in the air, appearing to pantomime weighing something.
“Yeah, you’re right. Specist sounds a lot better. SPECIST!”
“Shut up!” Octavia yelled from her room. Vinyl snorted.
“Well, we don’t need her to have fun! Come on, everyling, I know a game we can play!” The changeling that was in Vinyl’s bed got out of it and changed into Vinyl. Vinyl stared at herself, confused. “Well, I guess the more me, the merrier!”
“I think you misunderstand,” changeling-Vinyl said, “I have an apology to make.” It then walked out of the room and knocked on Octavia’s door.
“Hmm. Weird way to start an apology. Well, come on, everyotherling! Let’s play a game!”
Everyling present nodded and followed Vinyl into the living room.
----
“Go away!” Octavia yelled, sitting on her haunches.
“Come on...Octy. I wish to apologize for my actions.”
“I said…” Octavia started, then stopped. This didn’t sound like Vinyl. Maybe she really was sorry. “Come in.” Vinyl opened the door then closed it behind her. She then changed into a changeling. Octavia leapt up onto her hooves, snorted, and started pawing at the ground. “I swear, if you’re the dirty bugger who defiled my Vinyl, I’ll—” She then stopped mid-sentence as a green glow overtook her, a dazed look crossing her face. The green glow then left her. She looked at the changeling. “Did you just drain my love for Vinyl?”
The changeling nodded. “Yes I did.”
"Why?"
"I thought it would be more appropriate if you had a level head for what I'm about to say."
Octavia said, “Well, I suppose I should be furious right now, but I just can’t seem to be bothered.”
“Apathy is a common side effect of the love draining process.”
Octavia nodded. “So why did you come in here, anyway?”
The changeling took a breath. “I meant what I said before. I wanted to apologize for engaging in intercourse with your roommate. I believe I did what you call...’take advantage’ of her in her inebriated state. It was improper of me, not to mention illegal. If you want to report a rape, I will turn myself in.”
Octavia shook her head and popped her cello case open. “No, it’s not necessary. From your report, she came onto you. It’d never get past the grand jury.” She took out her cello and bow and started playing. The changeling raised an eyebrow.
“I thought we were conversing.”
“We are. This just calms me. I’m still a little irritated about Vinyl, not to mention you stealing my love for her.” Octavia started playing a beautiful melody. “What should I call you, anyway?”
“My designation in the Hive is 1969.”
Octavia giggled. “Of course it is.” The changeling raised an eyebrow at that, the shook its head.
“Why were you angry with Vinyl?” the changeling asked.
“I was more afraid for her well-being. You see, there aren’t really any studies showing the effects of sleeping with a changeling unprotected...in fact, I’ve never heard of it before,” Octavia said, looking up to the changeling in her room, noticing that it appeared to have a glassy-eyed appearance. She stopped playing and poked it with her bow. “Hello?”
The changeling then snapped out of its trance. “There are no reports of unprotected pony-changeling intercourse in the Hive save Vinyl.” Octavia giggled again and started playing again.
“Of course there aren’t,” she said, “of course my roommate Vinyl Scratch would be the first pony to do it with a changeling unprotected.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Octavia sighed. “Well, it’s just indicative of her personality as a whole. Brash, impulsive...she’s more of a ‘blast first and ask questions later’ kind of pony.”
“And that upsets you?”
Octavia hung her head low, still playing. “Yes, to no end. You have no idea of how many situations I’ve had to buck her out of. Being a mare of refined tastes, I find it most unappealing.”
“Yet you still love her.”
“And that’s the thing!” Octavia said, dropping her bow. “That’s what I love about her! Her Discord-may-care attitude, her vivacity, the way she takes life by the horn...I find those things most appealing about her.”
“Yet they infuriate you to no end.”
Octavia chuckled as she began playing again. “Well, what can I say? The heart wants what the heart wants. Who am I to question the mechanics of love, or to even suggest that they have mechanics at all?”
“Well, actually, love is caused by a chemical called oxytocin.”
Octavia stared at the changeling. “How do you know that?”
The changeling chuckled, causing Octavia to cringe. “You don’t think that the Hive wouldn’t know the name of it’s own nourishment?”
Octavia giggled. “Well, I suppose it makes sense.” She then stopped playing, the piece finished. “Anyway, what line of work are you in that you’re able to afford the overhead for a club?”
The changeling blushed cobalt. “Pornography.”
Octavia peered curiously at the changeling. “Is that so? I would have thought therapy, with the way you helped me.”
The changeling stared back at Octavia, perplexed. “You mean there’s a profession where all you do is ask leading questions?”
Octavia chortled. “No, no, it’s a lot more complex than that. But you appear to have a knack for it. Besides, what would your children think when they discover your profession?”
“All changelings are birthed by our glorious Queen, Queen Chrysalis.”
Octavia blushed. “Oh. So those changelings out there, they’re like your brothers?”
“Sisters would be more accurate. Most changelings, including the five of us, are genetically female.”
Octavia stared bemusedly at the changeling. “So how did you…”
The changeling raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
Octavia shook her head. “Well, I suppose I should really apologize to Vinyl,” she said as she stood up on her hooves. “Would you like to come with?” The changeling nodded and followed Octavia out the door, where Octavia was aghast to see Vinyl tangled up in four other changelings in a heap on the floor. Scratch that, it was more like an intertwining mash of legs. Octavia glared at Vinyl. “Vinyl…”
Vinyl jerked her head to Octavia, brushing her horn against the undercarriage of a changeling, causing it to giggle and fall down, taking everyling and Vinyl with it. “I swear, it’s not what it looks like!” Vinyl shouted as she rolled over, revealing a Twister pad. Octavia tried to keep the angry look on her face, then fell to her haunches in laughter, Vinyl joining in. The changelings all stared at each other in confusion.
“What was—”
“—so funny—”
“about that?” three changelings asked.
“Did we—”
“—miss something?” the other two changelings asked.