//------------------------------//
// Chaos and Order 
// Story: Chaos and Anarchy 
// by -Mazer 
//------------------------------//

	Anarchy looked from Twilight to the blond pony. “Is this another one of your friends?” he asked.
Twilight glared up at him. “Don’t you touch her!” She struggled to her feet but stumbled immediately after. She felt dizzy, woozy, and a bit nauseous. Twilight realized that she had wasted too much of her energy during her fight with Anarchy. “Derpy,” she gasped. “Run away. Please, run.”
Instead of running away, Derpy bolted between Anarchy’s legs to stand besides Twilight. “Oh no,” she gasped. “What did he do to you?” She pressed her hoof against Twilight’s forehead. “You look horrible.”
Twilight frowned. “Derpy, what are you doing here?”
“Well,” She actually sat down as she told her story. “Okay, yeah, so I was out near the forest picking some of those delicious blue flowers that grow all over the place…”
“Those are called Poison Jokes! You are not supposed to eat them, Derpy!” Twilight gasped.
Derpy patted Twilight on the head as if Twilight was just a little foal who didn’t know what she was talking about. “Silly Twilight. If I wasn’t supposed to eat them, then why do they taste so good?”
Anarchy stared at the two ponies with his mouth agape. “Hello?” he growled.
“Anyways,” Derpy continued in a louder voice. “I was picking a whole bunch of them thinking that I could use them in a new muffin recipe when I heard this terrible noise. Now, I don’t like loud noises so I tried to cover my ears but my hooves were full of those blue flowers so I couldn’t.” She crinkled her nose. “So I stuck my head inside a hole in a tree thinking that the noise wouldn’t be so loud but then I just ended up getting my head stuck. It took me like; I don’t know, a long time to get my head out. When I did, the noise was gone so I gathered up more flowers and returned home. That’s when I realized that I didn’t have enough flour so I decided to buy some…”
“Hello?” Anarchy repeated.
“But I couldn’t figure out where my piggy bank went.” She frowned. “I looked all over my house. I even went inside the attic. That’s when the sky turned all dark. I figured it seemed too early for bedtime…”
“Ladies?” Anarchy growled.
“But if Celestia decided to set the sun early, who am I to disagree with her. I found some of this pink stuff rolled up in my attic and used it to take a nap upon but when I woke up,” she poked her hoof against Twilight’s nose. “I was itching all over!” she pouted. “I don’t know what that pink stuff was but I know that it didn’t like me laying on it so I tore it all out and threw it away. Now my house is all cold so I needed to buy some blankets but,” she giggled. “I couldn’t find my piggy bank!”
“Are you listening to me?” Anarchy snarled.
“So I figured I would look for you, Twilight, because you are the smartest pony I know and I know you’d be able to figure out where my bank was. On my way to visit, I noticed that the town must be going through some construction because all the buildings were like, destroyed and ponies were running around carrying all sorts of weird things. Things like buckets, and ladders, and nails, and hammers, and axes, and turnips, and bricks, and torches, and pitchforks, and cans, and bottles of milk, and other ponies, and…”
“Stop ignoring me!” Anarchy bellowed.
Derpy glared over her shoulder towards Anarchy. “Excuse me, I am telling Twilight a story. Don’t be rude!” she snapped. Anarchy looked at her as if he had been smacked. Derpy nodded once before turning her attention back to Twilight. “And then I found you and Princess Luna with this weird lizard thingy…”
“I am a draconequus!” Anarchy roared, his left eye twitching.
She stuck her tongue out at him. “No. You are a lizard thingy. There is no such thing as a Dracy Neck Wiss.”
His jaw dropped. Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction. “May I finish?” Derpy snapped. “And the lizard thingy was being all loud and mean to you and Luna. I thought you were putting on a play until I saw him hurt Luna.” She frowned. “And then he hurt you.” She pressed her hoof back against Twilight’ forehead. “But I don’t feel a temperature so I think you will be okay.” She nodded confidently. “I think you just need some muffins and some rest and you’ll be as good as new!” She buried her muzzle into her side bag and pulled out two muffins; a blueberry one and a walnut muffin. “Here you go!”
“That is it!” Anarchy snarled. He slithered between Twilight and Derpy, smacking Derpy’s muffins out of her hooves. “I shall not be ignored by the likes of you!”
Derpy stared at her muffins. They were covered in grit and soot. “My muffins,” she whimpered. She pushed past Anarchy and picked them up. “You made them all dirty,” she whined. Derpy began to rub the muffins against her chest trying in vain to clean them off. “Why would you do something so terrible?”
“Because I am a terrible creature!” Anarchy screamed in her face. She lowered her ears against the top of her head while whining. “Stop being so loud!” She shoved both muffins into his mouth. “I don’t like loud noises! They hurt my ears.”
Anarchy gagged around the muffins. He stumbled backwards almost tripping over Twilight while trying to dislodge them from his throat. He spat them onto the ground. “See?” Derpy exclaimed, pointing her hoof in Anarchy’s direction. “I told you that they are ruined but you didn’t believe me!”
Anarchy’s eyes hardened. “No more!” he screeched. He lunged towards Derpy, wrapping both his claws around her throat. She gasped in surprise as he lifted her off the ground. “I will crush the life out of you!” He roared.
“Ack,” she cried out. “You’re hurting me!” she struggled against his grip. “Let me go!”
“Let Derpy go!” Twilight demanded. She tried to concentrate some of her magical energy into her horn but all that resulted was a small purple spark that fell to the ground.
“I am done playing with you!” He twisted Derpy’s head around. The sound of her spine snapping sounded…
Sounded a lot like a dog’s chew toy squeaking. He dropped Derpy’s body onto the ground except it wasn’t Derpy. It was a large rubber chicken. “What in the worlds?” Anarchy gasped. He slowly picked the chicken from the ground and shook it by the head. “Did you do this?” He asked Twilight.
But Twilight was not in any condition to answer. After attempting to save Derpy, she had collapsed back to the ground. She was dancing in and out of consciousness. Anarchy prodded her limp body with his foot. “No.” He whispered. “Not you.” He looked around Ponyville for any unicorn that could have interrupted his play time. “Whose there?”
A bolt of lightning struck the ground a few feet from Anarchy but there was something unusual about this particular bolt. It didn’t vanish after appearing. Instead it remained where it struck as if frozen in time. Cautiously, Anarchy approached the bolt and tapped it with his claw. “Sugar,” he whispered in confusion.
“I absolutely detest what you did with this place.”  An all-too-familiar voice said. The ground began to quake and split. Chunks of soil and rock rose from the ground to hover dozens of feet into the air. “There is not a lick of creativity in your work.” The floating islands transformed from dirt to brownie bits with white and yellow butter cream frosting. A single gold-colored talon ran through the frosting as a tall, slender beast stepped through the haze. “Well I’ll be,” Anarchy hissed. “How long has it been since I last laid eyes on you, brother?”
Discord stepped through the haze while sucking the frosting from his talon. “A thousand years,” he commented nonchalantly. “Two tops?” He clasped his claws behind his back as he paced through the town square. “So; have you accomplished everything you set out to do? Is this,” He gestured with his left paw towards the destruction Anarchy had caused. “The paradise you’ve always wanted?”
“It is what I’ve dreamed,” Anarchy growled. He stepped in time with Discord’s pacing, refusing to expose his back to the older spirit. “Can’t you hear their cries? Can’t you feel their suffering? How could you not appreciate my masterpiece?”
Discord stopped before the body of Princess Luna. He clicked his claws, raising her from the ground. Her battered and bloodied body hung limp in the air. “You really did a number on these ponies,” he said. He dropped her corpse none-to-gently onto the ground. “Let’s go down the list, shall we?” He raised his claws. “You’ve destroyed the Elements of Harmony. Ruined the power of friendship. Put an end to the royal blood-line, and destroyed Ponyville. All in a single day, I might add.” He nodded. “I must say, I am impressed.”
Anarchy felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. “I am glad to hear that,” He said with a grin. “It took you long enough to appreciate my specific brand of chaos.”
“Oh,” Discord shook his head. “This isn’t chaos.” 
Anarchy felt his body tense back up. “I know what you are going to say.” He growled. “‘This isn’t chaos. This is murder.’ Am I right?””
Discord approached Twilight Sparkle. “She was my favorite,” He said. He used her foot to turn her over onto her back. “My favorite toy.” He looked into Anarchy’s eyes. “She was quite the little fighter.” He took a very deep breath. “Ah, how I miss playing with her.”
Anarchy watched him. “You were a failure,” he whispered. “How could the great and powerful Discord allow himself to be thwarted from six little ponies? It is embarrassing.”
“Not as much as you may think.” He smiled down at Twilight. “These little fillies had given me more fun in a single day than I had in all the years I’ve been tormenting Equestria. You should have been there. The purple-maned one, Rarity? I convinced her that a bolder was a diamond. She carried it around on her back all day and even called it Tom. Can you believe that? Hysterical!” He chuckled. 
Anarchy frowned. “I don’t…”
“Oh,” Discord shook his head while laughing. “No, no, you’ll love this one. I was able to turn Fluttershy from this sweet innocent little creature into the biggest bully you’d ever seen. It was delightful! Poor Twilight was so confused!” He began to laugh.
Anarchy’s frown deepened. “How could you find humor in such childish antics? What did you plan to accomplish by teasing these ponies instead of destroying them?”
Discord regarded the destroyed town of Ponyville. “You are proud of this?” he asked again.
Anarchy felt his temper begin to rise. “Yes, I am.”
Discord kicked over a chunk of rock. It turned into a chocolate bar with peanuts and almonds. He picked it up and took a bite out of it. “This was all a part of your master plan?”
“Yes!” Anarchy barked. “I planned this! All of this! And you know what, Discord? It went exactly as I had hoped it would. Do you know why?” He smacked the candy bar out of Discord’s claws. “Because I thought it out! I didn’t just prance around like a child in a toy store!”
“And that’s the problem!” Discord snapped. He jabbed his claws against Anarchy’s chest. “What you have created here is not chaos, but order. You planned it out, looked at every conceivable angle, and then executed the order.” His claws began to glow a bright yellow. “Chaos is to be spontaneous!” a large sledgehammer appeared in the air above Anarchy. It swung down, smacking Anarchy in the right temple. He went sprawling into the brownie dirt, covered head to toe chocolate and frosting. He spat out a large chunk of brownie and wiped the frosting from his eyes. As his vision cleared, he saw Discord clicking his claws again. “Chaos stems from the imagination!” the ground beneath Anarchy turned to ice. He tried to dig his talons into the surface but couldn’t get a grip. He began to slide right back towards Discord who was now wearing a plaid beret and welding a golf club. “You are no agent of chaos,” Discord struck Anarchy underneath the jaw, sending him flying high into the air. He landed upon something jiggly and sticky. Rubbing his jaw, he discovered that Discord had placed a large purple gelatin mold beneath where Anarchy was going to land. 
“Even now,” Anarchy tried to crawl off the dessert but only succeeded in slipping off of it and landing head-first upon the brownie ground. “You make jokes.”
Discord disappeared and then reappeared besides Anarchy. “You wouldn’t know a good joke if it bit off your big toe,” he growled. “Look at you. You are a disgrace to our kind, preferring the rivers to run red with blood.”
“If you had your way, the rivers would be flowing chocolate milk.” Anarchy hissed.
“Please,” Discord rolled his eyes. “It rains chocolate milk. The rivers are full of fruit punch. Everypony knows that.”
Anarchy swiped his claws across Discord’s face but instead of striking flesh and bone, his claws came away covered in cake and ice-cream. The Discord that was standing in front of him fell apart, exposing that it was, in fact, made from vanilla cake with a chocolate chip ice-cream center.
“Enough of your childish games!” Anarchy howled. “Face me, Discord, and let us finish this once and for all!”
“Why should I?” Discord’s voice echoed.
“Because I said so!” Anarchy snapped back.
“Oh,” Discord appeared a few yards in front of Anarchy. He was lying upon a pink and silver couch with a pair of green sunglasses upon his snout. “Yes. That is a very convincing argument.” He shook his head. “Tell me, Anarchy. What will you do after you defeat me? With Ponyville destroyed, what’s next in your master plan?”
“I plan on visiting Las Pegasus.” His smile turned deadly. “With the sheer amount of greed that city generates, I shall have no problem finding ponies to manipulate.”
“And after that?”
“Fillydelphia.”
“And after that?”	
“Appleloosa,” Anarchy snapped. He was losing his patience.
“And after that?”
“Baltimare!”
“And after that?” Discord shook his head. “Where will you go after you’ve visited every town in Equestria? What will you do when all the ponies are dead or driven insane?”
“I will leave some of them alive,” Anarchy replied. “To repopulate and rebuild.”
“What if they choose not too?”
“Then I will force them.” He growled.
Discord lowered his sunglasses. “So that’s your master plan: To create a constant cycle of death and rebirth?”
“Yes.” Anarchy straightened his back.
“Well,” Discord sat up upon the couch. “That is a very clever plan. However, you forgot to take one thing into account.”
“And that is?”
Discord smiled. “An extra dose of chaos.” He vanished and reappeared behind Anarchy. He snapped his lizard-like tail around, striking Anarchy in the back, sending him sprawling onto the ground. Anarchy rolled onto his back, clapping his claws together. He summoned a whirlwind the swept Discord off his feet and high into the air. “I will prove to you,” Anarchy flew up into the air after Discord. “That I am not some pony for you to mess with!” When he met up with Discord, however, he discovered that instead of spinning out of control as Anarchy had hoped, Discord was lounging on his back, using his wings to help guide him through the updrafts. He was sipping a cup of lemonade – sipping the actual cup, not the drink – as he flew. As Anarchy began his approach, Discord simply snapped his claws. As if nature itself had an off-switch, the air currents died. Anarchy, who had been fighting against the currents, suddenly found himself over-exerting his energy in a calm ocean of sky. He overshot Discord and collided into a large, fluffy cotton-candy cloud.
Anarchy tore himself out of the cloud. He slapped his claws together causing a bolt of black lightning to erupt from the sky towards Discord. Discord didn’t even bother to look up as he conjured a mirror to redirect the blast, striking Anarchy in the chest and sending him spiraling back down to the earth. Anarchy was able to catch himself a few thousand yards above the surface of the ground, his body charred and smoking. He glared up towards Discord who now looked as if he had fallen asleep. He was curled up in the middle of the sky, rocking himself and forth on a cotton white cloud.
“I will not allow you to make a fool out of me!” Anarchy roared. He flew towards Discord while spreading his claws wide open. His talons transformed into steel blades as he thrust all ten digits towards Discord’s back. His claws burst through Discord’s spine and out his stomach but instead of blood and gore, there was candy and caramel. Already anticipating such a trick, Anarchy tore his claws free from the piñata to slash around towards his backside. He struck flesh and Discord’s snarl of surprise filled the air. Anarchy turned around with a maniacal smile upon his face as Discord clutched the side of his face where five large gashes lay within his cheek.
“You will not survive this day,” Anarchy growled while licking the blood off his claws. “I can promise you that.”
“Really?” Discord raised an eyebrow. “Is this also a part of your plan?”
“There is nothing you can do that will escape my eye. I know all of your moves. You are a clown, Discord, a jester meant for parties. I am the future of Equestria. I know how to control and conquer whereas you know how to make cotton candy clouds and chocolate rain.”
Discord nodded. “But you forget the advantages of cotton candy clouds and chocolate rain.”
“Oh?” Anarchy smirked. “What? That they can give me cavities?”
Discord’s eyes twinkled. “They attract insects.” He snapped his claws, vanishing from sight leaving Anarchy to wonder what exactly Discord meant by such a cryptic statement. He didn’t need to wonder for long as the sound of thousands of tiny little wings came buzzing up from below. Anarchy looked beneath his feet to see a cloud of itty-bitty ball-shaped insects racing up towards him. “What in Equestria are you?” he pondered. He watched in morbid curiosity as the swarm began to circle him. A single blue ball flew on over towards Anarchy’s body. It gave a sniff of the caramal on his claws then, without warning, bit his middle claw off at the joint!
“Accursed wretch!” Anarchy screeched. He crushed the parasprite between his paws and dove away from the swarm. The swarm followed Anarchy, mimicking every twist and turn and barrel roll that the spirit attempted. He dove beneath the cotton candy clouds hoping that the insects would target them instead. Indeed several hundred decided that the clouds were tastier than he but thousands more preferred the taste of his candy-coated flesh over the sugary sweet clouds.
“Chaos can never be predicted,” Discord said as he materialized in front of Anarchy. He had a large golden gong in his claws and held it up in front of his body like a shield. Anarchy smashed head-first into the gong causing a loud clang to echo across the land. Dazed, Anarchy fell from the sky like a stone, the parasprites hot on his heels. Discord tilted his head curiously. “Chaos is never kind.” He whispered while snapping his claws. The ground beneath Anarchy rose up to form a deep, jagged ravine. Anachy’s body smashed into the rocks, bouncing all the way down to the bottom of the newly formed canyon. His wings broken and body covered in cuts and scraps, Anarchy was a prime target for the hungry insects.
But Anarchy would not go down so easily. He brought his paws together causing two sheets of stone to be torn away from the canyon walls. They smacked together with the parasprites in between. The little insects let out a loud squeak of surprise before the stones crushed them into little black smears. Anarchy forced himself to stand. “That’s more like it!” He hollered up at Discord. “This is how it should be! With blood spilled and bone broken!” he started to laugh. “Finish me, Discord! See what it feels like to take the life of another!”
Discord crossed his arms while remaining high above the surface of the earth. “Do you hate yourself so much that you are willing to throw away your own life to prove a point?”
“No,” Anarchy began to crawl out of the canyon. Where were they? How far had they flown? This wasn’t Ponyville and judging by the size of the mountains surrounding Discord’s canyon, this wasn’t even on the same continent. “I don’t hate my life.” He reached the top. “I hate you.” He snarled. “I hate the ponies. I hate the animals. I hate everything!” He glared up towards Discord. “I shall ruin this world, Discord! I shall remind everypony that I am to be feared!” The air around Anarchy began to take on an icy chill but he paid it no mind. “And I won’t stop until every pony, foal, goat, and donkey lies dead beneath my feet! Do you hear me!”
Discord shook his head. “So much hate,” he sighed. “It will be your undoing.”
Anarchy laughed. “There is nothing you can do to stop me! I will always be the most powerful spirit in all of Equestria! Now come down here and face me!” He had to increase the volume of his voice as the wind began to pick up and howl around him.
“There is no need.” Discord said.
“If you don’t,” Anarchy’s eyes flashed. “I will destroy every pony of Ponyville. Just because we are no longer in the town doesn’t mean I cannot wipe it off the face of Equestria.”
Discord shook his head. “I don’t think you’ll be destroying anything any time soon.”
“What makes you say that?”
Discord pointed. Anarchy turned around and his eyes grew wide. “No,” he gasped. How could he have not sensed their presence? Had he truly been so engaged with Discord that he failed to recognize the signs? “No! I will not have it!” He raised his paws to clap them but Discord snapped his fingers first. Anarchy was thrown to the ground; his arms pinned on either side of him. “Discord!” He scnarled. “You cannot do this to me!”
“I am not doing anything.” Discord rested upon his stomach, his chin resting in both claws. “They are.” He watched as the Windigos swooped down towards Anarchy. Their breath washed over him in waves, crystallizing half of his body on the first past. “Discord!” Anarchy screeched. “Discord!”
The second Windigo flew past, turning Anarchy’s upper body into bright blue crystal. He tried to rip his arms free from the ground but succeeded in only snapping both of them off at the shoulder. He stared, wide-eyed at his stumps as the third and final Windigo froze his head. They swept past the region, bringing ice and snow to the canyon that Discord had created before retreating back into the heavens from which they came. Discord watched them with wild mild interest before bringing himself down to stand besides Anarchy’s frozen form. “Do you want to know why you failed?” he asked the statue. “Everything must be thought out ahead of time. You think instead of react.” He shook his head. “When I tore out your heart, it became the Elements of Harmony. I wonder what will happen to you if those ponies corrupted the rest of your spirit.” He used his tail to crush Anarchy’s body into tiny pieces then summoned a satchel to put them in. “Maybe one day you’ll appreciate the complexities of a good joke,” he whispered with a smirk. “Though I doubt it…”