//------------------------------// // Chapter 33: Scrapbook Of Life // Story: Trip Of A Lifetime // by Tailslover13 //------------------------------// A long story was the perfect cure for insomnia every single time. Josh never suffered from a lack of sleep, but easy to say one of Zecora’s stories about her homeland lulled him into a deep slumber. His comfy cushion that warmed him to the bone was probably another factor leading to his unexpected snooze. Either way, Zecora’s gentle, deep voice made Josh’s eyelids relax further and further, his tranquil, deadpan expression slipping further and further off his face. Eventually, as Zecora continued to talk while trying to find her scrapbook, Josh’s body collapsed beneath him. His mind entered the realm of darkness that comprised the hollow sanctum of his consciousness and inner feelings. Josh’s body reverted to its numb, vulnerable position as he found his inner being floating in the sea of solitude and blackness once again. When his eyes weakly creaked open, he was met with the strange, red demon that had been haunting him ever since coming to Equestria. This time around, the specter was already floating right in front of Josh’s face. Its glowing red eyes drilled their way into Josh’s soul, attempting to intimidate and possess him once more. Well, look who it is! If it isn’t my old friend, the demon! Josh thought sarcastically, for once not showing any signs of fear or terror at being in such an unusual, out-of-body experience. It’s SO nice to see you, let me tell ya. What have you been up to, huh? Let me guess; you’ve been living in my mind and body and just waiting for the perfect moment to do something weird and creepy, right? The demon’s ever-changing physical form swirled furiously around in front of Josh’s floating mental image. The stallion’s body floated gently in the dark landscape of his mind, but for the first time, it didn’t seem as foreboding and as cold as it used to. Facing down the demon of his mind the past two times had been a terrifying and gut-wrenching experience. The first time he had blacked out, he had only faced the darkness containing either the earth or Equestria, without the demon invading his thoughts. The second time, at Applejack’s, Josh had gone to sleep with a heavy heart and woke up in a cold sweat and feeling terrified after encountering the red-eyed devil for the first time. Finally, with Twilight Sparkle, Josh had blacked out while trying to channel his inner magic, and had lost control of his body for a little while before managing to reclaim it. Now, there was no fear in his mind. Look, you ugly, creepy, personal space invader. I don’t know what your game is, but I’m sick and tired of it! Josh narrowed his eyes, growling and bravely shoving his face towards the crimson pupils of the demon. Why don’t you just get outta here and go back to hell where you belong? I don’t need you haunting my mind and making me look like a freak, okay? I’m about to change myself back into a human, and humans aren’t allowed to have weird inner demons inside their bodies. If that happens, they get submitted to an insane asylum, and I know for sure that I am not EVER going into one. So, make like an unwanted in-law, and get lost! Josh’s sneer increased as he tried shoving his face into the red eyes of the demon, his newfound confidence stemming from his fresh nonchalant attitude involving Equestria. Why should he have to fear something like this anymore? Whatever it was, if it killed him or took over his body or whatever, he could care less. He was living on the edge until he could go back home, so this meant nothing. The longer his confident smirk remained plastered on his face, the blurrier and more rattled the outline of the demon seemed to become. Eventually, a soft growl emanated around the black background and the familiar red eyes vanished. Opening his eyes a moment later, Josh yawned and smacked his lips a few times. It didn’t seem like he had slept that long at all. In fact, Zecora was still talking while attempting to locate her proper scrapbook from her crowded bookshelves. With her back to him, the stallion casually raised himself back up from a sleeping position and blinked a few times to readjust his eyes to the dim lights in the cramped hut. He wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but Josh soon came to realize that his body wasn’t numb, nor was it drenched in cold sweat. Was his “dream” too short to simply cause any kind of paranormal body activity? Did his lack of fear make it impossible for the demon inside of him to resonate? He had no idea. Weird…I zonk out for two seconds, and not only is Zecora still blabbering like all women do, but I encounter my red-eyed friend again inside of my mind and I feel great! Josh chuckled softly to himself, not wanting to interrupt Zecora. He casually lifted his left foreleg and flexed a nonexistent muscle, which seemed to thrill and excite him. Giving his tiny muscle a kiss, Josh closed his eyes and proudly stuck his muzzle in the air. Aw yeah, baby! You see that? You can’t touch this! I ain’t scared of no ghosts! I’m as solid as a rock, as sharp as a tack, as smart as a politician who knows how to scam the American people so he can become president, as cool as the other side of my pillow, as brave as… “Josh, you seem to sag in your girth. Is my story causing you a lack of mirth?” Zecora had finally pulled out her scrapbook with her teeth, gently setting it down on her small table before glancing over in Josh’s direction. She had known where her scrapbook was the entire time; the zebra had been stalling for time just so that Josh would listen to her. When was she going to get the chance to have someone willing to spend time with her without them simply wanting advice on remedies or potions or something out of the ordinary? Seeing the dazed and lackadaisical expression on Josh’s face made Zecora’s heart sink. “Hmm?” Josh shook his head, scattering his daydreams of how awesome he was, as he glanced over at the zebra. Her ears were flattened against her skull, her usual smile turned upside down. “Oh, no, your story isn’t…uh…” He frowned for a second as he translated Zecora’s phrase. “…making me sad or bored or whatever. I was just…er…admiring your beauty and feeling a bit dizzy from getting such an honor?” Zecora’s left ear perked back up, her lips curling back up into an amused grin almost instantly. Her tail wagged slightly as she nosed her scrapbook to the center of the table and sat down on one of the surrounding cushions. “I see. You most certainly have a way with words. What you choose to say is never deterred.” A deep chuckle escaped her lips, the zebra patting the cushion next to her with a wry grin. “Come, my dear Josh, please come and view. Of my precious possessions, this scrapbook is one of few. For you to see my past, I would be most delighted. My memories will leave you no longer feeling shortsighted.” She continued to pat the cushion next to her. “You know, back on my world, we have zebras as well,” Josh said sarcastically, getting up and idly trotting towards Zecora, “They’re rather loud, obnoxious, stupid, irritating, and are quite full of themselves. We call them referees.” Zecora just shook her head and said nothing, leaving Josh to simply sit down on the purple cushion next to her and resign himself to actually paying attention to her this time. It was already embarrassing enough not knowing what Zecora thought of him complimenting her beauty in an over-exaggerated way. Reaching around to give Josh a gentle pat on his back, which resulted in Josh’s wings starting to twitch and Josh silently cursing his hormones, Zecora used her free hoof to pull the ragged scrapbook in front of the pair. The cover and binding was made out of a heavy material that Josh assumed was tree bark or part of another thick plant. Wrinkled, ripped scrolls hung limply along the edges, looking like they could fall out at any moments. Pieces of cloth and other random, flat items protruded the edges of the scrapbook as Zecora pulled open the first page. “My first potion brewed was quite a flop. It created a fizz that just would not stop.” Zecora pointed to one of the first photographs she had, showing a much younger version of herself fleeing from a bubbling cauldron overflowing with a curious blue liquid. “And here we see my homeland friends. Through sheer kindness, gifts they sometimes send.” Another photograph showed a young Zecora with a group of slightly older zebras, mostly female, who had even wackier piercings than she did. “Here is a patient of whose sickness ailed him so. With my skills developed early, my remedy quickly cured his woe.” Yet another picture showed a sick male zebra in bed, giving an adolescent Zecora a thankful smile while holding a cup filled with a yellow fluid. “Bah, pictures are so useless,” Josh yawned, speaking his mind as he always did. “Back on my world, I never cared for pictures. What’s the point of looking at things that already happened? Memories are just memories and nothing more. Acting like a dumbass and staring at them like they actually mean something just makes you dependent on the past, and that’s never a good thing.” Zecora cocked a brow again, glancing at Josh and giving a gentle frown. “Dependency on that which has already happened is indeed foolish. But, sometimes, to cure a lonely heart, recovering memories is one’s only wish. Is it so wrong to have a memento of that which makes you smile? To feel joy, even if for just a moment, is not at all vile.” What garbage. Why bring up the past? Keeping memories of things that have already happened is such a STUPID thing to do! What good is it? It’s just utter bullcrap and nothing more. Ooh, wow, I have lovey-dovey pictures of that time I scraped my knee while riding my first bike and mommy dearest kissed my boo-boo all better. Ooh, joy, I have an autograph from Jimmy Johnson, just because he races a stupid car around a track two hundred times and it’s apparently a talent. Ooh, baby, I have pictures of my so-called friends while we were hugging each other during a babyish campout, even though it was all fake and I was forced to go there against my will. Bah, such garbage. It’s sickening, really. “Why did you leave your homelands anyway, Zecora?” Josh asked, deciding to change the subject as he idly flicked through random pages of the zebra’s scrapbook in hopes of seeing something worth laughing at. “Seriously, no offense, but Ponyville and the Everfree Forest aren’t exactly places Kim Kardashian would pick to live at. Then again, why am I making a reference to Kim when she’s an idiot as it is?” When Zecora gave him an utterly baffled look, the stallion rolled his eyes and cursed the differences between Earth and Equestria. “In other words…why did you leave your home to come to a dump like this?” “Dear Josh, what may be a dump to you is a paradise to me. A change of scenery is what my future held in store to see.” Zecora casually turned to another page of her scrapbook, showing Josh a picture with older, taller zebras giving Zecora a gentle hug with tears in their eyes. “My parents bid me farewell when it was time for me to go. All offspring must one day stretch their wings and experience the world as so. My homeland will always be just that, a place that I love and cherish. But, my heart is with Ponyville and the Everfree, my new home until the day I perish.” Josh’s eyes gazed down over the picture of Zecora hugging her parents. Next to the somewhat-younger Zecora was a large trunk on wheels, a rope attached to her waist to obviously help her pull the heavy crate along. The zebra’s parents looked sad, with the mother crying a little and the father giving his daughter pats on the back. Zecora herself had her eyes closed while hugging each of the older equines. Off to the side in the picture, Josh saw the same zebras that Zecora had proclaimed to be her friends. It looked like it was the last picture taken of Zecora before she left her native lands. The longer Josh stared at the fond memento, the angrier and more confused he became. “This…this is…stupid!” he snapped, slapping the scrapbook aside and shoving his face into Zecora’s. “How could you just leave your home like that? The place where you were born and raised? The place where your friends and family are? The place you know the best? What the hell’s the matter with you? This makes no freaking sense! You actually have parents that loved you and cared for you, and you left them? You apparently had friends, and you left them as well? Why, just for a change of scenery? Just because you’re ‘supposed to leave the nest’ one day? That’s a pitiful excuse to just leave your home!” Not even flinching at Josh’s rage, Zecora gently edged away from the angry stallion’s fierce glare and went to retrieve her battered scrapbook. A page had been ripped out due to Josh’s brashness, but the zebra simply tucked it back into the seams and didn’t show any signs of anger. When she next spoke, after sitting back down a few inches away from the red-faced Josh, her voice remained calm and collective as she stared into Josh’s eyes. “Your rage is not directed at me, but rather at yourself. You hurt because you are no longer home; your heart is tucked deep onto a shelf.” “ENOUGH WITH YOUR CYNICISM! JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN!” A deep sigh breathed out of Zecora’s lips, her eyes closing as she avoided Josh’s violent eyes. “You are a lost puppy, taken away from your home against your will. Seeing others having accepted leaving their homes leaves a void in your heart that must be filled. You wish to return home, but you do not know the way. You hate everything around you, and yet here you are forced to stay. You shun others for their differences, and belittle them for their beliefs. Your hate is not directed at anypony here, but acting so callous is your way of relief. Josh, you are scared, and you are confused, this much is true. A lost puppy away from its home never knows what to do. Anger swells deep within you; I can see it in your eyes. But, deep in your heart, it is not me that you despise.” At this point, Josh was trembling and wanting nothing more to punch Zecora square in the face. His eyes clenched tightly, his hooves forming tight fists of rage. His heart pounded inside his chest as his anger continued to fuel his defiance and hatred. He couldn’t hit Zecora; he would not let his anger take over his body. He was not his father. He refused to be his father. As much as he struggled to refute and deny everything that Zecora said, he knew that she was starting to hit the nail right on the head. Josh was no match against Zecora’s wit and intelligence, and being outwitted always drove Josh into a rage. “You…you…you lie…everything you say is a lie…it’s all lies…every single freaking word…is a lie!” he stammered, his voice cracked as he choked out his words. Being calmly and so precisely ripped apart with nothing but words was causing him to snap. “I…I am not confused…I just want to go home! I miss my home! I don’t belong here! I DO HATE ALL YOU EQUESTRIANS! YOU ALL ARE FAKE! YOU ARE NOT REAL AND YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!” “If I do not know you, then who does, may I ask? Why do you continue to hide behind your enflamed mask?” Zecora leaned forward a little bit more, now opening her eyes again. She knew that Josh needed to see her eyes. The eyes always calmed another soul’s when they were about to erupt. Kill…no, don’t kill! She…she is…wrong! She has to be wrong! Why does everything she say make my blood boil? Why? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY? DAMMIT! GOD, TELL ME, WHY! “Sometimes, Joshua, home is not where your heart belongs. Fate works in mysterious ways, but your destiny is what it will usually prolong.” Zecora scooted closer to Josh, reaching out and gently touching one of Josh’s hoofed fists with her own gentle hoof. She knew that she could easily be attacked at any moment, but she did not care. She was not a fighter. “I do love my home, but this is my home now, and I am proud of that. This is where my heart belongs, but if I ever go back, my family will provide their welcome mat.” Maim her…crush her…destroy her…wipe that smile off her face…rip her to pieces…strangle her… “There is no reason to be scared of that which you do not understand. Home is where your heart is, not simply a piece of land. You must ask yourself one question, and one question alone: where, in my mind, is the one place that I truly wish to call home?” Zecora took Josh’s other hoofed fist in her other hoof, gently pulling herself into a gentle hug. As soon as her body touched his, she closed her eyes and laid her neck alongside the stallion’s. She could feel his heartbeat pounding a mile a minute; the harsh force of the beating nearly knocked Zecora away. Josh’s entire body was hot, easily enhanced by his inner rage, but Zecora was determined to cool him down. She held him tightly, wrapping her hooves around his back and nuzzling her face against his cheek. All the while, Josh himself kept his eyes clenched shut, his teeth continuing to grind in his mouth as his body froze in the zebra’s embrace. Get off me…don’t touch me…I hate you…I hate you all…let me go, right now…I will kill you…I will… “Shut up,” Josh whispered, his eyes flicking open a moment later. “Stop telling me…what to do. I’m not a child. I can handle this…let me talk.” Apparently, Zecora knew that he was not talking to her, but rather his inner demon trying to cause his temper and his deadly thoughts to intensify. “Zecora…I hate my home. I hate it so much. It’s filled with hate and it’s filled with such evil, disgusting, horrible people that I wish I never came to knew. But…that is where I was born. That is where I was raised. I am a human being, not a pony. No matter what a little flower might do, it is just an illusion. It’s not real. I’m a human, and therefore…I belong on Earth. As much as I hate it…it’s where I belong.” “That is a choice that only you can make. You must choose yourself which life you want to take.” Zecora trailed her hooves up Josh’s back, resting them on his shoulders as she leaned back and stared into his eyes. Their faces lay inches apart from one another. “But, you seem to think using only your brain. Your heart wishes to speak, but it is being restrained. Why do you wish to go back to a place that fills you with pain? Just because you were born a human, such a choice does not seem sane.” “Zecora…I hate this world, too. I’m trying my damn best, but…I don’t think I can continue to lie to myself. I am not a pony. I do not like Twilight Sparkle, or Rarity, or Rainbow Dash, or Fluttershy, or…or Pinkie Pie, or Applejack…and I do not like you. I’m sorry, but I don’t.” His eyes averted Zecora’s gaze, feeling like he did not earn the right to look at them anymore. His words were far too harsh, but they were the truth, weren’t they? He DID hate them. “Hate is a very strong word that should not be used lightly,” Zecora whispered, resting her hoof under Josh’s chin to gently force his eyes back upon hers. “Ask yourself one more time if your ‘hate’ is not overblown, even just slightly.” Josh found himself staring back into Zecora’s dazzling green eyes. Such beautiful pupils to compliment her stunning body, her deep and lavish voice, and her vast knowledge and wisdom. Her hold on his shoulders was not tense, but gentle and soft. Her chest pressed into his, their pounding hearts soon merging into one. Josh’s anger subsided, his heart beating in tune to the humming of the zebra’s. Was Zecora’s hind legs wrapped around his waist? He couldn’t tell; he felt that the lower part of his body was numb by this point. All he could focus on was Zecora’s words and her eyes. Mostly her eyes. A visit from my inner demon or whatever…a stupid look through a scrapbook…a harsh talk about homes and Kim Kardashian…and now I feel weird again. The same way I felt when I was with Twilight during my first week…and with Fluttershy, and Applejack, and Pinkie, and Rarity…and even with Rainbow Dash. What…what is this odd feeling? I just don’t understand what this is. So I’m being held by a female…and I’m staring into her eyes…and I think her legs are wrapped around me…what exactly happens? Do I…tickle her? “Zecora…I…I do hate you all…I do, really!” Josh found himself really struggling to speak for some reason. He hated not being able to talk properly; he valued his mouth almost as much as he valued his big brain. “I…what is that supposed to mean, anyway? Even if I didn’t hate you ponies…what, you expect me to just tell my home ‘screw you’ and stay here on Equestria? That’s seriously…COULD YOU BACK UP SO I CAN TALK WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT OUR MOUTHS TOUCHING?” For possibly the first time, Zecora seemed a little rattled. Her lips had come within centimeters of touching Josh’s, her eyes even starting to droop a little. Upon hearing Josh scream at her, she gasped weakly and felt blood rushing to her cheeks. “Oh…oh, my apologies…I do not know what came over me. I…I will let you go…and let you be…” Huh…a blushing zebra. You know, I could make SO many lame jokes right now about that, but…nah, that’s what loser humans do when they don’t know any GOOD jokes. Josh snickered to himself as he watched Zecora quickly turn away after letting him go, the zebra holding her face in her hooves and seemingly breathing very deeply. What the hell is WRONG with these Equestrian girls? They act so freaking weird when they’re trying to comfort a guy. Why can’t all girls be like this back home? No, back home, if I was feeling down, girls would just laugh, or point and snicker, or take a picture on their iPhone, or just lame a comment like ‘oh my gosh, you are SUCH a loser’ or something like that. Women. “Thank you. Now, back to what I was saying.” Josh cleared his throat, rolling his eyes and frowning slightly as he watched Zecora muttering to herself and clutching her heart. “What the hell are you doing? Do you want to hear the rest of my answer or not?” “Oh…right, of course…I apologize once more. Please, do continue on…let me know what is in store.” Zecora quickly sat down and tried to calm her labored breathing, the crimson starting to leave her cheeks and allow them to return to their normal color. She was now desperately trying to avoid staring into Josh’s eyes. “Good. Now, Zecora, let me just finish up by asking you this. What do you expect me to do? Yes, I hate planet Earth. It sucks and I have no one there that I care about. But, I’m still a human, and no amount of potion or flowers will ever change that. I also hate this world, since all you ponies and other creatures are incredibly mane and stupid. What am I supposed to do? I HAVE to choose one of the worlds to live on, and I hate both of them! So, wouldn’t it make most sense to go back home, since I am and forever will be a human at heart?” “Josh…once again…I cannot answer that. That choice is yours to make, and that is a fact. The answer will play itself out in due time. One’s heart can change as fast as I can rhyme.” Zecora glanced down towards her lower belly, flushing as she crossed her hind legs for some reason. “That antidote you have in your saddlebag is the key. What you choose to do with that is what your answer will be.” Groaning and expressing his sheer displeasure at not getting a definitive answer or at least a little bit advice on what he should do, Josh grumbled and turned away from the weird zebra. “Whatever. Like I was actually giving it any REAL thought. I just need to get to a bath and use this antidote, then harass your dumbass princess until she finds a spell to send me home, and that’s that. You Equestrians can have fun getting a good view of my ass as I leave!” He laughed his head off at that. Before Zecora could respond to Josh’s comment, the door to the zebra’s hut was soon opened, a familiar face poking inside. “Hello? Yo, Josh, there you are! Twilight’s been looking for you.” Spike frowned a little bit as he spoke to the stallion. To this very day, the two males still did not like each other. “Did she perhaps find a way to open up a rift in time that can send me back home?” Josh asked hopefully, his ears perking up in delight. “Uh…no. She thinks she found a new way to help you use magic.” Spike rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and not looking very rushed at explaining things to Josh. “I think it involves some kind of therapeutic massage or something that’s supposed to possibly unblock a magical barrier inside your head that perhaps is blocking your magic from being able to find its way to your horn…or something. I don’t know; I wasn’t really paying attention.” “Yeah, I can see how that’s possible, given how big my brain is. It’s no wonder that a barrier could be blocking my magic.” Spike made a face, before opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue, making a hacking sound as he pointed into it. “You make me sick.” “And your face repulses me as well, you stupid reptile.” Josh immaturely stuck his tongue out at the dragon, who snarled and instantly began cracking his knuckles in retaliation. “I’ll teach you to mess with a dragon!” Spike began stomping over to Josh, before freezing for a moment and pointing a finger in the air with a thoughtful expression on his face. “Oh, right. I think I passed Pinkie Pie on my way here. She had her hoof over her mouth and I think she had her legs clenched or something; probably needed to use the bathroom, given the strained look on her face. Do either of you know what that was about?” “Yeah, I told her to put her hoof over her mouth so I didn’t have to hear her…guess she never decided to actually stop.” Josh shrugged. “It’s not my problem. Now, where were we?” “Right about HERE!” Spike lunged at Josh, tackling the surprised stallion down and proceeding to use his claws to great effect. While Josh shrieked and tried to pathetically fight off the enraged baby dragon, Zecora just sighed and shook her head nearby. Her home always seemed to be the epicenter for chaos, and it didn’t seem like that would be changing today.