//------------------------------// // A Nice Lil' Conclusion to this Problem // Story: I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies // by LtMajorDude //------------------------------// Canterlot "And that's how I learned how to survive in the jungle for three days." Mark said as he finished his story. Luna had a surprised look on her face. "Lovely story Mark." Dhe said as she let out a kind smile. Mark chuckled. "Thanks. Though it was kinda disgusting now that I mentioned it." Luna placed a hoof on Mark's hoof. Immediately, Mark started to sweat. "Oh god...she's touching my hand...er...hoof...oh god...oh god..." "I wo-" "Beer." "Oops." "Oh god, the pony I have a crush on is touching my hoof!" "Are you OK Mark?" Immediately, Mark snapped back to reality. "Oh yeah. I'm cool, thanks." Mark said with a smile. Luna got up from the bench. "Well, I think it's time you should go back to Ponyville. Thank you for spending some time with me." "You're welcome Luna." Mark said as he got up from the bench. "Always a pleasure. Well, I'll see you." As he walked away, he heard Luna say, "Hey...Mark?" "Yeah?" He said as he turned around. Luna immediately placed a peck on Mark's cheek. "Thanks again." She said as she walked away smiling. Mark stood there. His eye was twitching. His head was sweating. His legs were shaking. With a happy smile, he fell to the ground. "There is no way in hell I'm cleaning this cheek." He said dreamily as he softly put his hoof on the cheek Luna kissed on. Both Luna and Mark didn't know that Celestia was watching them from a window. Celestia smiled at this touching scene. Twilight's Library "I'm sorry, what is it that you wanted to know again?" Twilight asked. "Do you notice any aggressive signs from Mr. Hill when he is around children under 12 years old?" Anthony replied. "I'm sorry, but I don't see Hank as...aggressive around children." "Looks can be deceiving Mrs. Sparkle." Twilight blushed. "I'm not married." "Ooh. Apologies." Hank sighed. "This is a waste of..." "Hank please. Just let Mr. Page talk, please?" Hank wanted to argue but saw Twilight's concerned face. "Oh alright..." Hank muttered. "Well," Anthony said as he wrote down something in his notepad, "As I was saying..." Rainbow Dash's House "So that's the story about me, Dale, and this identity theft thing." Rusty finished. "Huh. I dunno." Rainbow Dash said with a shrug. "Dale doesn't seem to be a Rusty. He seems more like a...I dunno." "Eh. Sometimes I thought about changing my name. Someone confused me for someone who bought something radioactive and accidentally left it in the garbage bin." Rainbow Dash blinked. Rusty chuckled lightly. "Long story." Rusty looked around. "Nice home." Rainbow Dash smirked. "Thanks. You're alright Rusty." Rusty smiled to himself. "You too Dash." He thought as his smile grew larger. "You too..." Sugar Cube Corner The Cakes and Pinkie Pie just stared at Jimmy. He was sloppily eating cupcakes, practically shoving them into his face. "Hey! These are some good food! Kinda like momma made it! Now that you mention it, I don't know my momma! Also, I'm goddamn Jimmy! I work at the race track! I'm Doctor Jimmy! Wichard! I conned a con man!-! I CONNED HIM GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOOD! GOO-" He dropped his face on the cupcakes, staining his face with icing. As he idiotically snored, Mr. Cake asked Pinkie Pie, "How long did you say he stared at that sun?" Carousel Boutique "Now hold still Patch." Rarity said as she finished putting on a tuxedo on Patch. "Come on baby girl yo," Patch begged. "This is dang ol' boring! Let's, I tell ya what, go into your bedroom and yo dang ol' check my oil, ya know what I'm saying?" Rarity blushed. "OK! All finished." Rarity levitated a mirror to Patch. Patch saw his reflection and smiled. "Man I feel like a dang ol' million bucks I tell ya what man." Rarity giggled. "Oh thank you Patch." Patch winked at Rarity. Rarity's whole body was a shade of red. Fluttershy's Cottage "Nice place." Phonsawan commented. "Thank you...Fool-en-sawan? Phonsawan smiled as he rolled his eyes. "Close, but no cigar. Just call me Neon Dash." "Oh, OK. By the way, what do you mean by no cigar?" Just as Phonsawan was about to explain, Angel walked up to Fluttershy and poked her leg. "Oh, hi Angel. This is my new friend, Phonsawan." Phonsawan grinned. "I like you already." Angel just sticked out his tongue. Phonsawan glared at the bunny. "I hate you already." He muttered to Angel. Sweet Apple Acres "Well here we are!" Applejack shouted. Gilbert whistled. "Such a lovely place Miss Applejack." "Oh please, call me Applejack." "Very well, Appleja-" He stopped as he saw Big Macintosh kicking trees. "Who...is...that...?" Gilbert whispered. "Oh, that's mah big brother, Big Macintosh." Gilbert couldn't stop staring at Big Macintosh. Applejack blinked. "Don't tell me you're..." Gilbert walked towards Big Macintosh. He bowed. "Greetings, I am Gilbert Fontaine De la Tour D'Haute Rive...or Gilbert for short." He said with a smile. Big Macintosh looked confused but smiled. "Howdy, I'm-" "Big Macintosh." Gilbert interrupted. "Your sister, Applejack, told me. I say, you have the voice of an angel." Big Macintosh let out a confused look. "Uh...thanks?" Applejack just shook her head. Late Night Cotton was busy in his locked room. "I'll see ya in hell Castro..." He muttered as he took a dart and put it in a cigar. "He and his pupils are leaving town tomorrow. Now's mah chance..." The next day Train Station "Long time no see Mark!" Cotton said as he saluted to Mark, who got off the train. Mark saluted back. "Hey Cotton. How's it going?" "Eh. Not much. Some weird thing called Discord came to visit. He was with some of my boy's friends' acquaintances. I may or may not thought he was Fidel Castro..." "What made you thought that?" "I dunno. I think it was the beard and his way of messing with people or...I honestly have no idea now." "So what happened?" "Tried to kill him." "Oh wow. He dead?" "Nope. Before he and his friends left, I tried killing him by shooting a poison dart at him. Turns out that somehow Pinkie replaced it with a foam dart, since she thought, I quote, 'You're gonna hurt somepony with that Cotton!' After some explaining and some arguing and whatnot, I was a finally convinced he was not Castro. Though I still don't trust that...whatever the hell species he is." "Heh. I missed a good day. Oh well." "So how was your date with the Princess?" "It is not a date. But I'll tell you how it went..." "Wow. They made that old pony get a mixer on his hair?" Hunter said as he shook his head. "I know right?" The adult stallion and the colt said with a smirk. Hunter chuckled. "Man, this world sure is full of nut jobs..."