Ch. 10 - Hurt Cycle
“I sure hope Twilight is in the mood for cake!”
Pinkamena Diane Pie hopped down the road, making way from Sugarcube Corner to Golden Oaks Library. Atop her poofy pink mane was a strawberry flavored cake with white and pink icing. Somehow the confection failed to fall despite her erratic, bouncing motion.
Pinkie had a huge smile on her face, as always. “Hmm...” she hummed, scrunching her face in thought. “I hope this is enough for Spike and Painy too. I wonder if I should have brought a bigger one?” She stopped, taking down the pastry to examine it. Quite a sizable cake it was, though not nearly enough to satisfy Pinkie herself. Her capacity for sweets was titanic. As was her desire to see her friends – and those she wanted to be friends with – happy.
Pinkie hadn't had the chance to visit the library when Painwheel – or as Pinkie called her, “Painy” - woke up. Working at the bakery and throwing that “Knocked 'Em Dead (But Not Literally) At The Orchestra” Party for Octavia kept Ponyville's number one party pony too busy to drop by. She had to drill her friends for information on the mysterious “human” when they got to said party, which they were all too happy to provide.
Or were they just intimidated by how seriously she took preparing for parties? No, it was probably the former. Definitely.
Pinkie stacked the cake back on her head. “I guess this will have to do until I can get back and bake them an even bigger cake! And then Painy will just scream for joy!” She clapped her hooves happily.
“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!!!”
Pinkie stopped in her tracks, twitching her ears to get a bead on the noise. It was coming from the direction of the library. And it sounded just like Painwheel.
“Wow,” said Pinkie Pie, “...I didn't think she'd be screaming this soon.” Her smile twisted into a concerned frown. “Oh, but I know that wasn't a scream for joy. I know all the screams of joy there are to be heard, because I've heard all of them! I'd better hurry over!” She began hopping again, this time more earnestly.
This was suddenly very serious.
This was a grave – nay serious – matter.
Celestia pushed the ailing Twilight Sparkle away gently. “Twilight,” Celestia said, looking down on her former student, “Did you use a mind probe on the human?”
Twilight Sparkle held a shaky hoof to her brow. She hissed in pain. “...ugh...yes, Princess Celestia...”
“And did you do it without her permission?”
“I...Princess, I was...she wasn't answering any of my...guh...questions...”
Celestia shook her head disapprovingly. “Twilight, you cannot simply force your way into another sapiant's mind. To do so is to violate them in a profound, traumatic manner.” What Celestia failed to mention, and what she didn't think she needed to, was that multiple attempts over the past thousand years were made to ban the mind probe spell entirely. Attempts that only fell apart because of certain bits of red tape, as well as from interference from certain nobles over the years.
She was honestly unsure why she never bit the bullet and ordered it banned by royal decree.
“I know, I know,” Twilight said, wincing. She shut her eyes, messaging them with her hooves. “It's just...”
“It's just that you wanted to have something to report when I arrived, I know,” Celestia said, her turn to rub her brow. “I thought we were past this, Twilight. You're free to report anything to me when you have something to report. I don't expect a schedule or deadline for it. Especially now that you are a princess yourself.” Celestia looked over to the human; she was still sobbing. Celestia pointed a hoof towards the human. “What could you possibly hope to learn that would justify this creature's trauma?”
Twilight snapped. “I was afraid, okay!?”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid!” Twilight waved her own hoof at the human. “She wasn't telling me anything, but she's a living weapon of mass destruction! Even if we assumed she was a dog that got off her leash, who created her? And what if they were planning to invade Equestria with an army of her? I had no idea because she wasn't saying anything! I had to find out now, in case she was covering up something! I couldn't afford to wait!”
Ah. There was the reason she never banned mind probes.
Celestia paused. Hard as it was to admit, the use of mind probes against an unwilling party had useful application that could – could being the operative word – justify itself: clear and present danger. Unfortunately, on more than one occasion, Celestia herself was forced to probe unwilling minds, looking for answers of a pressing and sensitive nature. A task she was loath to do, and she thanked Faust she wasn't required to often. Mind Probes – specifically forced ones – were too important to ban outright, and she wouldn't put a law down to ban it, only to violate that law herself. It would invalidate the trust between ruler, state, and populace.
Hence why she tended to instead keep records of the mind probe spell sealed, like in the restricted section of the Canterlot library. A section Twilight, being her former pupil and current Princess in her own right, had free and unrestricted access to.
Celestia facehoofed. “Alright, I'll concede that pressing need warrants a mind probe,” she said. “But I hardly think the remote possibility of invasion counts.” She watched Twilight shrink. “We only have speculation to go on, and you knew I was about to arrive. We could have sat down together, combined our efforts in getting her to talk.” She glanced again at the human. “This poor thing, from everything you've already told me, didn't deserve that kind of treatment.
“Moreover, I can see your subject suffered terribly, more so than necessary.” Celestia studied the human. Already in poor shape, she was utterly distraught. “Mind probes aren't easy, Twilight. They are complex spells, and their use on even a willing subject requires the utmost care. Tearing into a mind willy nilly can wreak havoc on it.”
“...I know...” Twilight said. She shuffled on her feet. “...but I didn't know she was so sensitive...”
“Sensitive?” Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Twilight said, becoming more earnest. “I understand what I did was wrong, and I accept that. But she already had a history of being mentally abused and controlled. This place, Lab Zero...”
“Twilight Stop.”
“...what? I was just trying to...”
Celestia stamped her foot. “Twilight, do not tell me anything you've learned from the probe.” She shook her head, shutting her eyes. “I...cannot in good conscience accept information so ill-gotten.”
“B-but...but Princess!” Twilight exclaimed, jumping closer. Her statement shocked the human nearby to attention, fearfully and tearfully looking on at the two members of royalty squabbling. “I only did this to report it to you! I know everything now, including how to help her!”
“And help her you shall, on your own,” Celestia said, stopping her erstwhile protege in her tracks. After all this time, Celestia supposed Twilight was still her student. Still bright eyed, in need of lessons. She was, after all, still young. It was Celestia's job to see Twilight learn what she didn't already know. For her own good. “I know that, given all you've learned, you could assist the girl in ways nopony else can. But it's the principle of the thing. You've wounded this girl deeply all the same. I cannot be party to that by enjoying such tainted fruit.
“That being said, I also cannot discount your reasoning as to why you thought it important to do,” she continued. Her student looked puzzled. “So I will inquire only one thing. Twilight Sparkle, knowing everything you now know, is Equestria in imminent danger of invasion? Yes or no?”
Twilight looked up to her mentor a moment, then cast her face down in defeat. “No. I can honestly say it's not.”
The Sun Diarch nodded in acknowledgment. “Then I have no further questions. For now, I request that you go to bed. You yourself have endured significant mental strain, another reason why the mind probe is so dangerous. To use the spell without proper training can lead to the user being swept away by the sea of memories of their subject.” Celestia walked over, extending a great wing to pat Twilight on the behind, trying to scoot her off to the stairs. “Now rest, faithful Twilight. I will think up a suitable punishment later.”
“Yes Princess,” Twilight said, starting her walk of shame. Her head hurt. Then she stopped. “But if I can't report to you, how will you learn everything you need to? Will you interview her yourself?”
“I'd like to,” Celestia said, looking back towards the human. The poor thing had given up paying attention, and wept in silence. “But I only really have the morning, before I must return to Canterlot. I'm so very busy.” She shook her head. Why did she need to attend and moderate an accountant's convention? Why did they have to schedule it for such an inconvenient time? And months in advance? “Plus, the poor dear is most certainly too traumatized to weather such an interrogation.”
“What'll you do then?”
“What'll she do about what?”
A bouncy pink pony landed on the basement floor, cake landing softly on her fluffy pink mane.
“Pinkie...ugh...Pie?” Twilight asked, headache visibly growing worse.
“Hey Twilight! Hey Princess Celestia!” Pinkie Pie said, looking from one princess to another. Then she spotted the human. “Hey, what's wrong with Painy? She looks so sad!”
Celestia cringed as “Painy” reacted with alarm with the Pinkie's arrival, shaking like a leaf and bursting into a new fit of sobbing. The Princess sighed, “Pinkie Pie, this really isn't the time to be...” Then she stopped, and an idea formed in her mind. “Actually, Pinkie Pie, would you mind terribly doing something for me?”
“Sure thing! I can do lots of somethings!” Pinkie Pie beamed, seeming to forget her prior concern for the human.
“Would you be so kind as to run out and fetch the other bearers? I require the presence of all of you.”
“Okie Dokie Loki!” Pinkie exclaimed, hopping up and down in place. “I'll just leave this cake in the kitchen, and get right on that. Be back in a minute!” She dashed up the stairs and out the door.
“As for you, Twilight,” said Celestia, pointing a hoof up the stairs after her, “Bed. Now.”
“Yes Princess,” Twilight said again, climbing the stairs. She hobbled unsteadily, overwhelmed by the morning's events and the previous exhaustion. In spite of that, she lingered just a bit at the top of the stairs, eager to listen to what Celestia had to say to her charge.
Celestia stepped up to the human, an act which caused her to pick up the hysterics.
“No! Not again! S-stay away!” the human said, looking up at the alicorn fearfully. “Not again...”
Celestia paused. This would need a delicate hoof. “I'm sorry...may I approach?”
The human shook her head wildly, now suffering a case of the hiccups. “...hic...not again...not...hic...again...stay out of...hic...my head...no more...hic...” Yet another fresh stream of tears fell down her cheeks. “...why won't everyone...hic...just stay out of...hic...my head...?”
Celestia inched closer, right up to the seated human. “It's alright,” she said, moving her head down. When the human flinched away, raising protests, Celestia stopped. She looked up at her horn. “No, no, don't be afraid. No one else is going to invade your mind.”
The human sniffed. “...hic...r-really...?”
“I swear on my life,” Celestia said, giving her best, warmest smile. “Your mind is your own; sacred ground that neither I nor any of my subjects will defile.” She bent down again, this time keeping her prodigious horn away. She instead touched the human's head with her neck, hugging her close. “No one is going to hurt you. Not here. I promise.”
“...huff...hic...okay...” The human leaned into the hug, resting her head upon the alicorn's white neck. It was fuzzy...and warm. She allowed the tears to flow again, sobbing loudly.
“Shoosh...” Celestia cooed, bringing a hoof up to pat the back of the girl's head. “Shoosh...it's going to be alright...it's going to be alright...” She allowed the poor thing to cry for several minutes. Celestia supposed, when she returned to the castle later, she would need a quick rinsing off. But for now, she saw the “monster” in need of comfort. Somewhere nearby, Celestia heard her ever-curious student finally move on. Good, they needed to be alone.
In time, the sobbing quieted to periodic sniffing. Celestia spoke softly, “There, are you feeling better?”
“...sniff...uh huh...” nodded the girl.
“Would you mind telling me your name?”
“...hic...Painwheel...” the human said softly.
Odd name. But Celestia never knew a human to be anything but odd. Not that she had experience with a large enough sample size to be sure. “Okay Painwheel, my name is Celestia.” She delivered a light pat on the back of the human's head. She was surprised to brush against a skull-shaped adornment. Curious choice...assuming it was a choice.
“Hey Princess!” came the voice of Pinkie Pie from upstairs, “I brought them!”
Guess there wasn't time to give Painwheel the attention she needed. In fact, it was just enough time to address the elephant in the room.
Celestia sighed, disengaging the hug. She looked the human in the eyes. “Now Painwheel, dear, I need to ask you something very important...
“...Are you a Skullgirl?”
Painwheel blinked. “...what?”
“Are you a Skullgirl?”
“...no...no, I'm not...” Painwheel shook her head. She looked confused. But Celestia could see into the girl's eyes easily. Bright red, with black scalea. They were unnatural by any measurement. But they weren't themselves in the shape of a skull.
In truth, Celestia had sensed it the moment she entered the room. What almost gave her a heart attack – irony of ironies – was that she hadn't sensed it when she entered Ponyville airspace. The state of the basement's occupants further exacerbated her concern, nearly driving her to panic. The possibility of Skullgirl masking her presence disturbed Celestia greatly.
Thankfully, the situation had proven less dire than that. A Skullgirl – and the Skull Heart it contained – were still too powerful to hide. Celestia's question to Painwheel merely assuaged any remaining doubt. She sighed in relief, “Good. I'm glad. But since you didn't ask about it, I can only assume you know what a Skullgirl is. Is that safe to say?”
Painwheel looked taken aback, but she nodded.
“Princess Celestia!” Applejack called from the top of the stairs. Her compatriots followed her down the stairs.
Celestia sighed again. “I guess that will have to suffice for now my dear.” She rose to her feet, having sat on her haunches during the long cry session. She turned to face her little ponies. “Hello everypony. Thank you for answering my summons.”
“We came as fast as we could, soon as Pinkie Pie came around,” Applejack explained, slightly out of breath. She looked around. “Hey, where's Twilight?”
“Whoa!” said Rainbow Dash, cutting in. “Did something happen to her?” She caught sight of Painwheel, and she narrowed her eyes. “Did she do anything to her?”
“No, nothing like that,” Celestia said, putting on a reassuring smile. Little did most ponies know, but ruling for millennia allowed Celestia to hone the art of smiles. She possessed a separate, subtle shade of grin for every occasion, to convey whatever affect she desired on behalf of her subjects. She had warm smiles, motherly smiles, reassuring smiles. She even had the kind of smiles reserved for the uppity, spoiled nobles who clamored for her attention every day in court. It tried to convey the meaning of “I'm trying to be polite, even though I think your requests are petty and tedious”.
Of course she would never say as much. No matter how much she wanted to. It's not like any of the nobles could read that smile for what it was anyway. They were remarkably dense; or they didn't care for anything at the time save for their pet projects. She loved all her subjects, but sometimes they tried her patience so.
She continued, “Twilight unfortunately made the mistake of trying to probe poor Painwheel's mind for information, instead of conferring with me first.”
“Probe?” Fluttershy asked.
“Indeed,” Celestia said. “It was a taxing endeavor, which left her mentally exhausted and Painwheel here traumatized. So I sent Twilight to bed, to recover.” She turned to show off Painwheel, still visibly drained from her ordeal.
“Oh no!” Fluttershy said, smacking her cheeks with both forehooves.
“Simply dreadful!” Rarity exclaimed.
Rainbow Dash was less impressed. “I don't know. Don't you think Painwheel deserved...?”
“Absolutely not!” Celestia said, silencing the pegasus on the spot. “No creature should have their mind invaded against their wishes, especially since Painwheel seems to have a particular history of being mentally abused.” She extended a wing, patting Painwheel on the head lightly. The human sniffed, seeming just a bit more at ease. “I still have yet to think up an appropriate punishment for Twilight.”
“You ain't gonna banish Twi to the moon, are you Princess?” Applejack asked, beads of sweat rolling down her neck. Her ears were held back.
“No, nothing like that,” Celestia said, shaking her head. She put on a minor smile. A mercy smile. “It will take some time to think of what to do with her. But as it stands, I feel she's suffering enough as it is from her actions. There's no rush.
“What is more pressing is what to do with the human now that we have her.” Celestia walked behind the chair, standing behind the girl. “I cannot in good conscience use the information Twilight learned while inside Painwheel's mind. And my own time to converse with her is limited. As such, I would like you five to spend time with her every day, one on one. To learn through conversation what Twilight tried to with magic.”
Painwheel looked up at her savior. She sat stunned.
The five ponies assembled were also stunned. Rainbow Dash was the first to respond, “So when you say 'spend time' and 'conversation', you mean...?”
“I mean I'd like one of you to come in every day, whenever you have time, and talk to her,” Celestia explained. She used a hoof to stroke Painwheel's hair gently. “She's in a difficult place, and needs friends. She also needs to be rehabilitated and adjusted to Equestria. We need information about her in order to help her, and to gauge whether she can be allowed to live here.” She gave an apologetic smile to Painwheel when the latter looked up plaintively. “Sorry,” she whispered. “Can you all do this?”
Applejack fidgeted uneasily. “Ah don't know, Princess. Can we really trust her, after what she did?”
“That, Applejack, is what you are trying to figure out,” said the princess.
Fluttershy stepped forward, surprisingly bold. “I'll do it,” she said, sporting a serious expression. “Painwheel needs our help. If there's anything I can do, I'll do it.” She looked to her friends for approval, but wilted when she found them less forthcoming. Her posture sagged. “Um...that is...if it's okay with everypony else...”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Fine. Not like I have anything better to do until my wound heals. Thanks for that, Hurt Cycle.”
For the first time, Painwheel looked genuinely remorseful. She bit her lip, frowning.
Applejack pondered it for a time, then said, “Well, guess if it needs doin', Ah reckon' it needs doin' right. I'm in.”
“Me too!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, hopping in place. “Maybe I never got to talk to Painy before, so I need all the research I can get to throw her the best “Welcome To Ponyville” Party ever!” She giggled. “Plus, it'll give me a chance to give her more, better cake.”
Rarity shuffled her feet uncomfortably. “Do I have to?”
“Rarity,” said Fluttershy, turning her eyes – and perhaps the lowest level of her stare – onto the fashionista. To her credit, Fluttershy wasn't entirely in control of The Stare, or when she used it. Usually it was when she found herself worked up. This fact contributed to her kind, submissive personality. If she just never acted assertive, she wouldn't accidentally hijack anypony's free will by mistake.
The white unicorn frowned. She didn't like it when Fluttershy started making demands. It reminded her too much of “New Fluttershy”, an uncomfortable and unpleasant time that Rarity didn't want to relive. “Oh, alright, I'll do it.” She took a pace forward, staring at Painwheel. She studied the human, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “Besides, now that I look at it, I think I just might be needed desperately.” She waved a hoof human-ward. “I mean, just look at her! That ghastly appearance needs all the help she can get.”
Painwheel's mouth fell open. She felt offended.
Celestia giggled. “Very good. I'll see to it Twilight is informed of the development when she wakes up.” She bent over to look Painwheel in the eyes. “As for you, young lady, I know it's rough. But I need you to be on your best behavior. When they want to know things, be more forthcoming. Can you do that?”
The girl whined. She fidgeted uncomfortably. Then, reluctantly, she nodded. “Okay...I'll try...”