//------------------------------// // Luna works a microwave // Story: Luna's Breakfast // by DouglasTrotter //------------------------------// Canterlot Kitchen remained quiet. In the morning hours before the moon would set on the distance horizon, a single pin dropped onto the floor would have been an explosion in that soundless moment. For Princess Luna however, her elder sister’s hoof steps were beyond silent; their sound would be closer to a feather falling onto fresh snow. “Pray tell, what is this contraption?” Princess Luna squinted at the box, catching Princess Celestia walking into the kitchen out of the corner of her eye. The royal blue mare raised her right hoof and said, “Sister, what does it do?” “That is called a ‘microwave,’ and it was invented about 30 years before your return, dear sister. It is a rather interesting device. You can heat various objects in it, such as food. Though a pony can also heat other items in it as well, it isn’t advised. The warnings are very specific.” Princess Celestia said in a soft, calm voice. She levitated a canister of coffee and a filter out of the cabinet above the microwave. The ruler of Equestria refilled the water in the coffee maker for her royal brew of the day. “It takes some time for my coffee maker, why don’t I make you some breakfast?” Princess Luna held out her hoof, cleared her throat, and then spoke in a regal tone, “No sister, we must learn how to adapt to our surroundings. I mean… I must learn how things work. It would have been nice for you to tell me that I no longer needed the Royal Canterlot Voice or the royal ‘we’ when speaking when I went out on Nightmare Night. I scared those poor ponies to death in Ponyville. That unfortunate pegasus appeared to be the worst of the bunch.” “I don’t think Fluttershy minded it too much.” Princess Celestia said with a smirk. “You planned that, didn’t you?” Princess Luna pointed her hoof at her sister. “Tia….” “La vie est drôle,” The elder sister said, sticking her tongue out after she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Ack, too hot! I think I burnt my royal tongue.” “Hrmph, serves you right dear sister. We’ll call ourselves even in regards to ‘that’ little matter involving ‘my’ apparent holiday. Nightmare Night should be a time of jubilation, not fear and contempt. Though, I guess the holiday did turn out alright. A night of fear isn’t all bad.” Princess Luna said, ending with a quiet, polite giggle. “I did rather enjoy the interaction with those fillies and colts – I digress though. Tell me, how do I work this ‘my crow wave’ of sorts?” Princess Celestia chuckled to herself in the kitchen as her little sister tapped on the microwave’s front plastic window with her right hoof. The elder sister whimpered. Her ears lowered. She turned to her little sister, “I hrt mah royal tongue. Will you kiss it? Your kisses make everything better.” “O, grow up sister,” Princess Luna said with a huff, “and please tell me how this works. I need to understand my surroundings.” “Very well, little sis’,” Princess Celestia said as she closed her eyes, sticking out her tongue once more, retracting it quickly. The regal mare opened the refrigerator and produced a box, levitating a thick pastry out of it. “Here, these are delicious. Sweet Apple Acres saddlebag pouches. The toaster oven is the preferred method of heating them, but I suppose you can put them in the microwave. Now, we first open the microwave.” Princess Luna’s gaze fixated on the black button when she saw it pressed. The royal blue mare’s jaw dropped, but, after she composed herself, the royal blue mare said, “How? How can a device be imbued with magic? Our royal unicorn magicians were just discovering the potential of such powerful abilities. They struggled to imbue a broom, and their frustration was further compounded when they tried to get the broom to fly under the commands of a non-magic user like an earth pony.” “Luna…” Princess Celestia said with a sigh, “It isn’t imbued with magic. A simple action in the microwave causes a spring and latch mechanism to release the door.” Several sounds emanated from the device. It soon began to buzz and hum. The royal blue mare’s wide-eyed gaze gave way to a single raised eyebrow. Princess Luna peaked from around her sister. She watched the circular glass tray spin, looking ever so often at the timer. As her sister stepped closer, the elder sister moved off to the side. The timer neared completion with 10 seconds left. Princess Celestia bit down on her lip. Princess Luna’s nose touched the microwave as she got closer. Five seconds remained. One second remained. “Hahahaha!” Princess Celestia failed to contain her laughter, rolling onto her back. “Sister, please try to – hahahaha!” “It’s a demon! I will smite it! Sister, protect the fillies, colts and foals. Gather the guards. I will hold it off.” Princess Luna said. Her horn glowed an equal hue to her royal blue coat. The light from the spell darkened the room. “By my horn, I shall send thee to Tartarus you demon ‘my crow wave!’” The ruler of Equestria stepped in front of her sister and the device. Princess Celestia, trying to her best to stifle her snickering, said,” Your, tee hee, your breakfast is ready, little sister.” Princess Luna sniffed her breakfast, and then poked it with her hoof. She stuck her tongue out, touched it to the treat, and then levitated her pastry breakfast off of the plate. “Hrmm, this is quite tasty and warm. How did it get so warm? There was no fire in that device?” “Luna, I have some royal duties to attend to right now. I promise to help you out later today.” Princess Celestia hugged her sister. The elder sister levitated her coffee cup off the table and exited the kitchen door. An attendant came with the list of regal duties for the day, and, after a few moments passed, a loud “bang” emanated from the door behind them. Princess Celestia turned, pushed her hoof against the door, and entered into the kitchen with her assistant. The regal mare’s eyes dilated. “Lu-Luna, h-h-ho-how did this happen?” The microwave’s door lay on the floor. Milk dribbled from the microwave interior, onto the counter, and then rolled off the marble lip towards the floor with milk and eggs firmly suck to the microwave door. Princess Luna hid in the corner while an arterial shower of milk droplets rolled down the cabinet doors adjacent to the counter where the microwave resided. As she surveyed the damage, Princess Celestia snickered to herself. “Sister, it tried to kill me! There is more to that thing than meets either of our eyes. It is a ‘demon’ in disguise!” Princess Luna said, peaking around the corner to look at the microwave. The ding of the timer reached all their ears. “Tis no reason to laugh, it tried to kill me. Sister, that thing is an assassin.” “Please, will you excuse me and my sister? I will take today off to help my sister acclimate a bit better,” Princess Celestia wiped a tear from her eye after she finished one final bout of laughter. The elder sister helped in cleaning up the mess. With a quick spell, Princess Celestia fixed the microwave to full working order. “Sister, how about we have a little get together for just the two of us today. Those royal duties are simple matters that I can attend to later on this evening. Now, where would you like to begin?”