AAG - That's Some Service!

by NachoTheBrony

Excerpts from "Equestriani Single Mother", February 2035 Edition

Spa Reviews

WorkingMom2945 wrote:
I know the magazine usually only published reviews about working spas, rather than not-yet-working ones, but hear me out.
Like many other mares that read this magazine, I have seen my share of service rooms. Even under the best of circumstances, and inside the best spas, the service rooms will always feel somewhat... unclean. Well, I’ve been working on the construction for that new human hotel in Canterlot, the Ritz Charlton, and I helped to set up the service rooms. You would think that they would just make a room with two exits, a partition and a coffin, right? Well, instead of that, they had that “Sexytime” Super-expensive-furniture Company make then on HE, put them in these huge crates (2 by 2 by 7 meters) and bring them through portal. I was among the team that installed them, and they are absolutely fascinating: white ceiling to white floor, they are completely made of this squishy “silicone” plastic. And there’s absolutely no darkness in there: the light comes from the plastic itself, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, even inside the coffin. I also heard some humans commenting about the sound system inside the rooms, and that they will be putting one of their 'computer' metal golems to play relaxing music through the walls.

And the mounting bed! At first glance it looks flimsy and uncomfortable, as it is pretty much nothing but a water sack, but these humans did something weird to it that makes it just give enough to be super-comfy without it flopping. And then there's this button that makes it start purring like it was a giant cat! And it is always at the right temperature! I wish I could describe it for non pegasai, but it feels like one of those super expensive cloud jacuzzis like the one my Mom got me to for my Cutieañera!

And for cleanness? What about that, as soon the room is empty (the room can tell when it’s empty), the walls part and out come these mean-looking metallic legs carrying water cannons and then literally scrub the whole room clean, then dry it with air nozzles. And I swear it: these legs leave it so clean that you feel like scum if you come in without having perfectly scrubbed yourself before entering. Good thing that you have to walk through the entire spa before even getting to the service rooms. By the way: did I mention the hotel has eight of this superb service rooms?

If I didn't already have my two lovely foals, I would pay whatever they want to charge. The hotel opens in May, so head's up!

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