Chapter 6 – Three conversations
Twilight woke up some time later. It was still dark. The bed was empty except for her. She could hear Applejack and Rainbow Dash talk on the far end of the hayloft, with hushed voices so that she couldn’t understand what they were talking about. She didn’t mind too much; what the two of them had to discuss was really none of her business. She pulled her blanket over her head and turned around, trying to fall asleep again.
On the other side of the hayloft, Applejack was sitting in the hay, and Rainbow was resting her head in her lap. “It’s funny,” Rainbow said, “I always slept better with you around, but tonight I kinda can’t.”
Applejack chuckled. “I just worked myself tired when you were gone, worked well enough.”
“Same here.” She paused. “The whole being-apart business sucks.”
“You ain’t sayin’ you got regrets, are you, hon?”
“No.” Rainbow turned around so that she faced Applejack’s belly. “It’s just… I dunno. It’ so great to see you and Twilight again and to get back home to Ponyville again after that cattle drive. I mean, the camp was awesome, and I don’t have regrets or anything… I dunno.”
Applejack sighed. She had been happy to see Rainbow again and to have some time with her alone, and it was wonderful to have her that close again. But it had only taken them a few minutes, and their conversation had already turned to all the things that had kept her on edge all those past weeks. She hadn’t wanted to bring it up right away, especially not so soon after whatever had happened with Twilight. But she needed to talk to somepony, and she needed Rainbow’s strength to help her carry all that weight.
“I know what you’re sayin’,” she said slowly, carefully considering her next words. “It’s been like I was just there waitin’ for the real life to begin, for when you returned. ‘N everything else kinda didn’t matter, and so I just kept waitin’ for you.” She swallowed; suddenly she had tears in her eyes, tears that she thought she had cried long ago. “Waiting for that emptiness to end.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow agreed sadly. She sat up and looked at Applejack, her eyes just a faint shimmer in the darkness. “I really didn’t mean for you to be… y’know… like that.”
“I know, hon.” Applejack gave her a quick peck on the nose. “Isn’t it the same for you?”
“I dunno,” Rainbow said, resting her head in Applejack’s lap again. “Guess I never thought about it that much. But with all the training and stuff, I don’t have too much time to think anyway. So I guess most of the time it isn’t too bad.” She looked up at Applejack. “I’m sorry, AJ.”
“Don’t be,” Applejack said, her voice hoarse. “It’s your dream after all.” She cleared her throat. “We should really go back to bed,” she continued after a little pause. “We got a lot of work tomorrow.”
They made their way back to the bed. Before Applejack could lie down, Rainbow suddenly pulled her into a surprise hug. “I love you, AJ,” she whispered, “and no training camp is gonna change that.”
“I love you too, hon.”
Applejack crawled under the blanket first and found herself in the middle now, Twilight on her left, Rainbow settling down on her right. As if she had just been waiting for that moment, Twilight turned around in her sleep and snuggled up against her. Rainbow put a foreleg around the two of them from the other side.
***
Twilight had only been dozing when Applejack and Rainbow came back to bed, and after Applejack had started snoring softly right next to her—covering her nose with her mane, which was kind of wonderful and distracting—Twilight found it impossible to go back to sleep. For the longest it was all she could do to not toss and turn like she would do at home, lest she woke up Applejack. Or turned away from her. But finally the need to change her position had turned into an insatiable itch, and she turned around with a sigh that she was hardly aware of.
Facing away from the others, she stared across the hayloft and out of the window on the opposite wall. It was no use. She could still feel the warmth radiating from Applejack’s body behind her and hear her breaths. She violently quelled the urge to turn around again and snuggle up to the sleeping earth pony. She was well aware that she had no right to this kind of consolation.
She needed to stop thinking these things.
But these thoughts were the only thing that kept her from mind from wandering back to the plains, to climbing the mountains again, to stand in front of the cyclopean old building whose purpose was almost clear, almost understandable…
Twilight shook her head and slid out of bed, slowly flying over to the window. If she couldn’t sleep, she at least didn’t want to disturb her friends. She sat down on the same haybale as Applejack had earlier when she had been talking to Rainbow, and stared outside. The prairie looked quiet and peaceful in the pale moonlight. Crickets were chirping loudly all around the barn. From somewhere out on the prairie she heard the distant mooing of a herd of cattle. She knew that she had her back turned to where the house probably still lurked, waited for her return…
A soft noise behind her broke her train of thought. Somepony was flying over to her.
“Can’t sleep either, huh,” Rainbow observed. She lowered herself next to Twilight and barely found enough room on the haybale for her to sit. She had to hold Twilight with one wing though to prevent her from being pushed off their precarious seat.
“Since when are you so cuddly anyway?” Twilight asked with a smile. “The last time I checked Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash wouldn’t be caught dead cuddling, being afraid of being not cool.”
“Yeah, you know”, Rainbow replied, “once you’ve reached my level of cool, you can get away with pretty much anything without ever being in serious danger of being uncool.”
“Of course,” Twilight agreed, grinning.
“Y’know, with AJ and you and the other girls, this stuff is almost normal anyway,” Rainbow mused. “I like falling asleep on your reading couch, y’know? It’s not weird or uncool or anything.” She sighed. “It’s great to be back home, y’know.”
“I missed you too, Rainbow,” Twilight said and briefly leaned her head against Rainbow’s. She remembered perfectlywell how the pegasus preferred reading propped up against her on her couch, and how she would almost every time hear the tell-tale thud of a book dropping to the floor followed by soft snores. She found it adorable to be with a version of Rainbow Dash that didn’t need to maintain her cool at all times, and she found it even more adorable that the pegasus for once did not get embarrassed by herself.
Rainbow asked, “So what’d I miss while I was away?”
“Let me see… well, six reading dates, for starters,” Twilight said with a smile. “But Applejack took over your place.”
“AJ? And reading?”
“Not reading per se,” Twilight said. “It was just, on that first Wednesday after you had left she suddenly stood outside my door and asked if I had any plans for the night. So we had some tea and wound up talking all evening. We ended up doing this every single week.”
“Cool,” Rainbow replied, a little bit uneasy due to the implications of Applejack missing her and feeling alone. “Good thing you guys got to hang out and keep each other company while I was gone and all.” She yawned. “Maybe I should get some shuteye. You coming?”
Without waiting for Twilight’s reply, she slowly hovered back to the bed. Twilight followed suit, not sure if she would be able to sleep, but unwilling to stay back all by herself all the same. At least the bed was warm and cozy and full of friends.
They slid under the covers on both sides of Applejack. The earth pony stirred in her sleep but didn’t wake up as Rainbow and Twilight snuggled up against her from both sides.
***
As was her habit, Applejack woke up at the first cry of the rooster, despite her interrupted sleep the night before. Seeing how Rainbow Dash and Twilight were still sleeping left and right of her, she decided to not waste any more time snoozing. She carefully wiggled herself free from her two friends and stretched her legs as she quietly left the hayloft.
The sun had already risen halfway above the eastern horizon. In the courtyard she met Blue Cheese who was feeding a small group of chickens.
“Mornin’, cuz,” he greeted her. “There’s breakfast in the kitchen.”
“Thank you kindly,” she replied and continued on into the farm house. The kitchen was deserted, and on the table a delicious-looking breakfast had been arranged. Her stomach growled in happy anticipation. She sat down and, as a start, stacked a few cheese omelets on her plate.
“Good morning,” Twilight greeted her from the door. “I saw you leave, and Blue Cheese told me where you were,” she hurried to explain as Applejack stared at her with an almost comically confused expression on her face, an unchewed piece of omelet in her mouth.
The earth pony hurried to swallow the omelet. “Mornin’, Twi,” she said solemnly.
Twilight sat down and helped herself to the omelets as well, while Applejack silently continued eating. The omelet had been prepared with the trademark cheese that the ranch produced. It was delicious, but Twilight found it very strange to have breakfast with Applejack that didn’t include any apples. The silence dragged on, until finally Twilight couldn’t stand it anymore.
“How are you doing?” she quietly asked. Applejack looked up and just stared at her for a few moments.
“I didn’t tell her,” she said.
“Look, AJ, I—“
“I lied to her, Twi,” Applejack repeated, her voice suddenly hoarse. Her eyes were shimmering wet. “I lied to my mare!”
Twilight couldn’t stand to see the sadness in Applejack’s eyes. With two flaps of her wings, she was over by her side, intending to hug her and hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay—but she didn’t. After all, that was exactly what was hurting Applejack, wasn’t it?
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, standing in front of her.
“Don’t, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “This ain’t your fault.”
“If I hadn’t told you—“
“Stop it right there. I’m serious.” And, after a short pause, “Please.”
“Okay.” For some moments, they just stood and looked at each other. Then Twilight asked, “You didn’t tell her about the house, did you?” Applejack shook her head. “Why not?”
“It woulda been too close to… you know. So I rather didn’t mention anything at all.” She sighed. “You didn’t tell her either, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.” Twilight suppressed a shiver. “I don’t want to remember anything about that dreadful house if I don’t have to. It was too horrible.”
Applejack squirmed but didn’t look away. “You mean… us?” she asked hoarsely.
“No, not us,” Twilight hurried to clarify. Applejack gave her a shaky smile in response, but her eyes were still wide and wet. Twilight hated to see her shaken and scared like this, and without thinking, she added, “That was actually the only good part.” She bit her lip, but Applejack didn’t so much as flinch.
“’t was, wasn’t it,” she whispered.
Twilight made a step towards Applejack. Every last fiber of reason in her screamed in outrage, but she couldn’t listen to them, couldn’t acknowledge them. Her only hope was that Applejack would turn away or would tell her to stop, but the farmer just looked into her eyes as she made another step. She noticed that her knees were shaking. The sheer incredibility of what she was doing was taking her breath away. It was the worst possible mistake, and a part of her knew that very well—but a much stronger, much more vocal part of her screamed at her to do it, just do it, just kiss her—
Applejack’s breath softly waved over her snout. Their eyes were locked. Applejack was shivering slightly, but she didn’t move back either. We’re completely insane, Twilight thought.
Their lips touched, and the time stood still. It was unlike the kiss on the grey dusty plains. The air between them was thick with tension, and all thoughts, all fears, any reasoning in Twilight’s head were silenced for that blissful moment when her tongue gently slipped between Applejack’s lips. A flash of warmth jolted through her body, and her mind was made up—made up to throw all her fears and worries to the wind and just be with that wonderful mare—
Then Applejack jerked back. Twilight opened her eyes again—she hadn’t even noticed that she had closed them—and stared right back into Applejack’s, wide with fear. “We must be completely bonkers,” Applejack said, her voice shaky.
“I’m—“ Twilight started.
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” Applejack interrupted her with a weak smile. They stared at each other some longer, then Applejack let out a deep sigh and leaned forward, her head against Twilight’s shoulder. “What in tarnation are we doing?”
There was nothing Twilight could say to that, so she just embraced Applejack and held her close and tried not to think about the house or what they were doing to Rainbow Dash or anything else.
“Group hug!” Before they had even time to turn towards the door, the cyan pegasus who had just entered had crossed the distance between them and embraced the two other ponies. “Morning! How’s the food?”
Applejack was the first to pull herself together. “It’s lovely,” she said, “just no apples which is a bit strange.” She forced a chuckle.
“I’m starving,” Rainbow declared and let go of Applejack and Twilight. She took a seat and began tearing into the breakfast. Seizing Rainbow’s distraction, Applejack quickly wiped her eyes and let go of Twilight who in turn returned to her chair and unenthusiastically continued chewing on her omelet.