Luna was trotting briskly down the hallway, enjoying her midnight constitutional, when a thestral guard approached her and bowed.
“Princess Luna.”
Luna nodded her head. “Yes, Orpheus?”
“There are no incidents to report, your majesty.”
Luna nodded again. “Thank you.”
Orpheus looked up at Luna. Luna stared at Orpheus, her head cock-eyed. “Is there something the matter, Orpheus?”
Orpheus shook his head. “No, Princess, it’s just...why did you want me shadowing Octavia, again?”
Luna glared at Orpheus, who shrank under her gaze. “Are you questioning the words of a Diarch?”
Orpheus shook his head again. “No...it’s just she seems so inconsequential.”
Luna smirked. “So it’s no, but yes.”
Orpheus’s eyes widened as he bowed his head low. “I mean no disrespect, Princess. I just question if my services aren’t put to better use elsewhere.”
“You mean like protecting a being who is more powerful than you by several orders of magnitude or keeping watch in a castle where two such beings permanently reside?”
Orpheus kept his head low. “Once again, no disrespect was meant by that, your highness.”
Luna frowned. “You are my night guard, and I will assign you as I wish.”
“But why Octavia?”
Luna smiled. “Because I like her music and wouldn’t want any ruffians to accost her.”
“Fair enough, your highness.” Orpheus said. “Seems rather petty…” he muttered under his breath.
Luna leaned her head in and said in a dark whisper, “What was that, Orpheus?”
Orpheus’s eyes widened and he shot back up. “M-my machete! I forgot that I had to sharpen my machete!” and hastened down the hallway, never looking back.
Luna snorted. “Coward.” She continued trotting down the hall, when she stopped in front of the guest room, where a most acrid smell overpowered her nostrils. It stung like acid on her olfactory nerve, the stench of damp urine seeping into the hallway. Angrily, she strode over to the door and slammed it open.
Inside was Queen Chrysalis, rocking on her haunches in a corner, eyes wide open, a lit cigarette grasped in her magic. She brought it to her lips, took a puff, and drew it away.
“Please don’t—” she said in a little colt’s voice.
“—that sounds great—” she said in a young stallion’s voice.
“—not there—” she said in a young mare’s voice.
Luna stared in shock at the scene in front of her, at a loss for words as Chrysalis kept changing voices. She finally find the courage to eke out, “Queen Chrysalis?”
“—effervescent—” the Queen said in the grating drone of a changeling’s voice.
“Queen Chrysalis?” Luna said again, creeping towards the Queen.
“—buy some apples—” Chrysalis said in a farm filly’s voice.
“—it’s not evil—” she said in another filly’s voice.
Luna put her hoof to her forehead, shaking it. She then placed her hoof on the floor. “Queen Chrysalis!” she shouted in her Royal Canterlot Voice. Queen Chrysalis’s head jerked over to Luna as she jumped slightly in shock.
“Wha?” she said dreamily in her Legion voice. She took a drag of her cigarette.
“You appeared to be having a bit of a psychotic break.” Luna said. Chrysalis blushed a shade of cyan.
“Oh, you simply caught me during Hive Time.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Hive Time?”
“Yes, where I commune with the entirety of the Hive,” Chrysalis explained as she inhaled again on her cigarette, “it used to be so simple, but now that the changelings are freeponies, it’s become extremely difficult.”
“Well, smoking’s not going to help. Those things will kill you.”
Chrysalis snorted. “I’m a changeling. I can just moph my lungs into a precancerous state”
Luna stood there, dumbfounded. “Well, that seems very useful. I wonder why our top scientists aren’t testing that.”
“They are, which is what I was getting into.” Chrysalis took another drag of her cigarette. “Everywhere I look in the hive, I see what the changelings are up to. Some of them are leading very happy lives. Some are day laborers, some are guinea pigs, and some have even been offered positions as faculty in top universities. Others are into...more untowards things. Crime, organized and otherwise, modeling, and…” Chrysalis shuddered. “...pornography.” She took another drag of her cigarette. “So much porn. It makes me sick
“But what pains me most is the violence. Everywhere I look, there’s a youngling being bullied. There are changelings being beaten up in back alleys for simply being them,” she said, tears forming down her cheeks, “changelings being hanged off of balconies, changelings killed and their bodies washing up on the shore. When I can, I try to commandeer a changeling or two to help them defend themselves, but it’s simply not enough. Even I can’t be everywhere at once. Even I, the Queen who swore to protect them, can’t save them all! What good am I as Queen of the Changelings to my subjects when I let them die in the streets?” she asked as she broke down into tears.
Luna stared bemusedly as the crying changeling Queen in front of her. She never did have the right touch when it came to these sorts of things.
Chrysalis continued. “And what’s even worse are the papers!” she screamed as she pulled up a newspaper with her magic. “This says I’m planning a secret invasion of Canterlot!”
“Well, we’ve told the populace of the fealty oath you swore—”
“—but that’s just it! The papers are arguing that that was a grab for power!”
Luna looked down. “Well, technically, it was.”
Chrysalis glared at Luna. “That’s not the point! I did that to save the Hive! I did it...for Equestria.” She looked down. “I did it for your little ponies, and they can’t even appreciate it! Don’t they know that every time they hit a changeling, I feel the blow?”
Luna said, “They might hit more changelings if you tell them that…”
Chrysalis jumped up onto her hooves, an angry glare in her eyes. “And that,” she shouted as she angrily took a puff of her cigarette, “is the point I’m trying to make! I’ve subjugated myself to you and Celestia, abided by your laws, and this is the thanks your race gives me?”
Luna put a hoof on Chrysalis’s shoulder. “Look back in your hive. Surely there are good examples of ponies treating changelings well.”
Chrysalis sighed, then closed her eyes.
“Today I made a new friend. Her name is Scootaloo. She helped me honor the Hive by doing the right thing and not beating up that bully—” she said in a youngling’s voice.
“—now theese are tha forms ya need ta fill out to—” she said in Vinyls’ voice, which brought a grin to Luna.
“—so we can—” she said in a changeling’s voice.
“—open up our club?” she said in another changeling’s voice.
“—that was nice of the pink pony to give us all of that bread free of charge—” she said in yet another changeling’s voice.
“—I think the mold makes it taste delightful—” she spoke in another changeling’s voice. Chrysalis then opened her eyes.
“Well?” Luna asked.
Chrysalis sighed. “I suppose there is some good in your ponies, although these Cutie Mark Crusaders sound like a most dangerous organization.” Luna chuckled at that.
“Well, as they say, foals will be foals.” Luna remarked.
“And younglings will be younglings.” Chrysalis added with a chuckle.
Luna then sighed. “Well, the important thing to remember is that even through all the chaos and terror, you’re still trying to make a good impression. Take it from a former villain herself.” Luna said with a wink as she lifted her hoof off of Chrysalis’s shoulder, putting it on the ground.
“But you were just a villain for what...three hours total, if the Canterlot Archives are anything to go by?”
Luna grinned. “Try getting an entire holiday named after you for a thousand years.”
“Point taken.”
Luna sighed. “Well, you should probably get some rest. There’s still the peace summit tomorrow...or have you forgotten why you were granted the guest room here?”
Chrysalis shook her head. “No, I haven’t forgotten.” Luna then say the Queen betray a look of worry across her face. “Do you think they’ll accept me?”
Luna chuckled. “They’ll have to, if Equestria has anything to say about it.”
Chrysalis looked down. “I hope you’re right.” Chrysalis’s stomach then rumbled, causing her to blush blue. “Do you have anything to eat?”
Luna smiled. “Of course we do. Come with me.” Luna then walked out the door, Chrysalis following. She led them to the kitchen, which was mercifully empty. Luna then opened a drawer with her magic, taking out a baguette. “I understand your kind have a certain affinity for bread.”
Chrysalis nodded. “Yes, but I was hoping for something sweet...and something to drink to go along with it.”
Luna smiled as she put down the baguette and pulled out a fancy bottle with a long thin neck that flared out at the bottom. Chrysalis’s eyes widened as she greedily grabbed the bottle with her magic, unscrewed the cap, and chugged almost the whole thing as Luna stared in shock. Chrysalis then offered her the rest, which amounted to no more than three shots. “You want some?”
“You realize that that was a one-hundred and fifty year old cognac?”
“So?” Chrysalis said as her eyes turned glassy.
Luna shook her head, then grabbed the bottle with her magic and chugged down the rest. “That bottle went for five-hundred thousand bits at a charity auction.” She then threw away the bottle in a trashcan.
Chrysalis’s eyes widened in shock. “Put it on my tab?”
Luna chuckled as she shook her head. “You’re a guest under the auspices of the Equestrian Empire. Anyway, Tia was trying to get rid of it. The bottle was quite an eyesore.” Luna then headed towards the fridge, waving the Queen over. Chrysalis followed and was greeted with a very large cake.
“Ooooh, can I try some?” Chrysalis asked.
“Of, course, let me get some—” Luna said before she was cut off by Chrysalis’s mouth opening into a maw, out of which a cylindrical mouth chomped off a bit of cake before retracting into the maw which turned back into her mouth.
“Mmmm, delicious!” Chrysalis said, then noticed Luna staring in shock. “What?”
“I-i’ve n-never s-s-seen a ch-changeling eat be-before.” Luna stammered.
Chrysalis laughed. “No need to worry, I’m the only changeling that does this.”
“Well, then,” Luna said as she collected herself, “that was interesting.” Luna turned away. “I’ll leave you in the kitchen.” Luna then turned her head back. “And Chrysalis?”
“Yes?”
“Try not to drink any more half-million bit bottles of liquor?”
Chrysalis chuckled. “I won’t.”
Luna nodded as she walked away. Once she felt she was far enough away, she ducked into a nearby bathroom, slammed the door behind her, and started gagging. She punched herself in the stomach, then jammed a hoof down her throat. Nothing. She looked around for something to jam down her throat, then saw the plunger, still gagging. She grabbed the plunger in her magic and prodded the end of her throat with the tip. She then grabbed the edges of the toilet and vomited profusely. She lifted her head up, then vomited again, glad that her ethereal hair always flowed in the same direction. After about fifteen seconds of vomiting, she sat on her haunches, back to the toilet, flushing it with her magic, gasping heavily. She wiped a vomit trail from her mouth and flung it onto the wall.
“Never in my life do I want to see someone’s mouth do that again…” Luna gasped. She then uneasily got up onto her hooves, looking back at the toilet, shuddering. “NEVER again…” she said as she opened the door to the commode, softly closing it behind her. She then shook her head left and right. “Well, then. Back to my constitutional!” She said as she continued her brisk trotting down the wide hallway.