//------------------------------// // Past and Present // Story: A Love For Madness // by ShadeJak //------------------------------// The first thing I did once I got to the living room was claim the spot on Alice’s sofa that I had always sat. However, in force of habit, I had wound up ‘Lyra-slouching’ before I knew it. When it occurred to me I was sitting in a manner that a quadruped normally would not, I did the logical thing and ignored it and the look I got from Celestia. For a moment, anyway. “What?” I asked. “Nothing.” Celestia answered, taking up a spot on the other end and sitting in a fashion more suited for a pony, followed by Pinkie Peach, whose efforts to get up onto the couch were… beyond adorable. I did my best to ignore the slight discomfort from how I slouched, mostly due to my wings being pushed to the sides. “You two comfortable?” I asked. “Much more then your position,” the filly said, rubbing the back of her head, embarrassed. “I actually have fallen asleep like this at least once so far.” I sighed. “Baby steps, Peach. I’m still getting over a huge identity blow that left me rambling in a padded room for nearly a week,” I said, feeling a chill down my back as those memories returned, it was over like a bad dream now, but somewhere in the back of my mind I couldn’t make the thought of that experience go away completely. I noticed Pinkie Peach look rather downcast from my response, though I wasn’t sure why. Still, I felt guilty, as the last thing I wanted to do was offend a filly… not when I—… no… that was a past life. “Hey, sorry…” I said with a sigh and letting my body slide downward and sideways into a more ponylike reclining position. “I guess despite everything I’m still a little… confused. “Don’t worry, it seems to have that effect on everypony,” Celestia said, sighing. “The memories did make it easier for me.” I moved myself a little closer to Celestia. “I know I don't really have much of mine... just feelings of deja vu, or empathy when I see an episode... but it still feels like it was my life. You've done a lot for me by being here and helping me. I'd still be completely lost if you hadn't. Regardless of what Discord did, you still feel like... my aunt Celestia,” I said. It was odd but somehow the term felt natural and right to me when I said it to her. Celestia smiled, but it didn’t seem to quite reach her eyes before it shifted a little. “What's wrong?” I asked. “Nothing important...” Celestia replied. “Don't take it wrongly, but I still have a hard time to consider family...” she said. My ears involuntarily drooped at the mention of this. I wasn’t even sure how my own family was going to respond to this news… “Well, one thing I learned being in the house of crazy was that it's best to be more open about your thoughts... but I won't press if you don't want me to.” Now it was Celestia’s turn for her ears to droop down. “I'm sorry... Like I mentioned earlier, my memory is... lacking.” Her eyes widened and I swear a lightbulb blinked above her head. “You said that your friend was a fan of the cartoon that featured us?” she asked. “Yup, she's got every episode.” I said as Alice returned to the room with the drinks and some snacks. “Hey everyone. Got your stuff ready,” she said. “Oh, and good news, Pinkie Peach, I may not have had peach juice but I had peaches and then remembered I have one of those Kitchen Witches to juice them down for you, so here you go, fresh-pressed,” she explained, handing the glass out to the filly and letting Pinkie Peach take it with her forehooves. I had to admit, seeing the little filly do so was beyond cute and it made me chuckle a little. “Thanks, Alice!” I said as I floated my drink over, and then something she’d said caught my attention. “Wait… you actually got one of those Kitchen Witch things?” I asked, surprised she’d buy stuff she saw on TV. “Kitchen Witch?” Pinkie Peach asked, confused. “Yup!” Alice replied. “Most useful appliance I’ve ever had. As that guy on TV said it: Just put your ingredients in the top; it slices and dices! Peels and chops! Blends, mixes, juices! It won’t stop!” She practically sang that annoying diddy said guy on TV used to pitch the product. “This little miracle processes your food exactly like you want it every time! Like magic! Kitchen Witch” She concluded, while I just stared agape. “You remembered the motto?” I asked. “It was pretty catchy when the guy said it,” Alice replied with a shrug before noticing Celestia’s rather dignified manner of sipping her coffee. “You alright over there?” Celestia looked at her in confusion for a moment before replying. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said, taking another sip. “Just like the way she did it in the show,” Alice remarked. An idea forming in my head from Celestia’s personality quirk, I looked over at Alice with a smirk. “Alice, still got any of your birthday cake left?” I asked, prompting a giggle from Pinkie Peach and a curious look from Celestia. “Why, hungry for some?” Alice asked. “It should be mostly intact since you left kinda prematurely back on my birthday if I'm not mistaken…” “Yeah... sorry about that but I think I had a good reason, you know...” I said sheepishly. “…What kind was it?” “Oh, red velvet, vanilla icing with strawberry filling,” Alice replied, now in on my little joke as Celestia seemed like she was trying to keep her mouth closed, prompting the pegasus filly to giggle even harder. “How did I miss out on that? Is it still fresh?” I asked immediately. “Yup. Soft and moist, flavors complimenting eachother in sweet, perfect harmony,” Alice explained with slow enthusiasm as she dragged out every detail. “I admit I had only one slice back then since I was still worried about you, but now I... just... might... finish it off.” She trailed off. “The two of you are evil.” Pinkie Peach said, letting out another giggling fit. “What do you mean?” Celestia asked, shaking her head in confusion. “Nothing!” I answered. “Just... recalling the cake I missed out on when this whole thing happened to me. Alice still has it mostly intact apparently.” “And I have to admit…” Alice began. “…she was right, though I can't imagine a single pony who'd be interested in it... so I may just have to have it all myself,” she mused. “Let me guess, the show mention my love of sweets?” Celestia asked with a frown. “You have a love of sweets?” Alice asked innocently, though having watched the show many times she already knew the answer. “You have no idea,” Pinkie Peach said before Celestia could reply. “Well... what would you say if, you explain what's going on to me like we'd agreed and I'll get you a slice,” Alice offered. “That's fine with me,” Celestia replied with an amused smirk. “Besides, that was already my plan.” “Well, I can't afford to let it go to waste,” Alice said, heading back to the kitchen. “I'll be right back. Anyone else want any?” “I didn't get to try any last time... due to... well you know...” I said, raising my hoof for a slice. “Eh... I'm not much for sugary things.” Pinkie Peach replied. “Well, I wasn't as a human at least...” she sighed when Celestia gave her an amused look. “Fine... I'll take a small piece.” “It's settled then.” Alice said, heading back into the kitchen and returning moments later with slices she lay out for us, providing Celestia and myself with forks, probably figuring Pinkie Peach wouldn’t be able to make much use of one without magic. Using my magic with a little clumsiness due to my inexperience, I managed to get myself a small piece from my slice and float it up to my mouth. As I began chewing, my eyes widened in amazement. This was delicious! I didn’t know if my new pony tastes had done something to enhance it or if the cake was just THAT good, but either way, I was impressed. “Wow… just… wow… suddenly all my problems are fading.” I said while Celestia put down her coffee cup with ease while levitating her cake slice toward herself. The pegasus filly, however, had no such luck. “Right, no way to use a fork,” Pinkie Peach muttered. “Eh, Alice, mind to exchange my glass for the cake? I lack unicorn magic compared to the two other showoffs.” “Sure thing.” Alice replied swapping them around for her. I, meanwhile, felt slight offense to being called a showoff when I was still in the learning phase with my magic. “How...?” I asked, regarding the insult. “I'm still kinda clumsy with mine how much practice have you gotten?” “Hey, at less you have something to compensate the lose of hands,” the filly replied indignantly while Celestia magically used her fork to cut a small piece of her slice and ate it… she then started eating faster and faster, with bigger and bigger pieces. I eventually followed her example and got my own piece from mine, though still with some clumsiness. “Well...” Alice said, breaking the awkward silence as she sat down in her chair, next to the sofa. “So... what's the story on all this? Happy as I am to see my best friend's not alone in turning into a pony, but can you fill in any blanks for me?” she asked while Pinkie Peach glared at her cake slice no doubt trying to think of a way to eat it that didn’t involve shoving her face into it. “Where do you want to begin?” Celestia asked. “I guess... when you started remembering... up to when we met.” I said. “I don't need the whole plot, just the summary will do,” Alice explained. “Cada--I mean Cale and I...we... came to the conclusion Equestria is... or was somehow real, like another world, and Discord somehow is behind people turning into characters from the show…” she continued, before facepalming. “…And now I realize how weird that all sounds saying it out loud...” “It began when I was visiting my friend for both our birthdays. Mine was on the 1st May while his, well her now, was on the 3rd.” Celestia explained. “Did Cadance mention how her cutie mark appeared?” “Yeah, she did actually... when she... he... sorry... it's so confusing right now thinking back on it...” Alice stammered, looking over at me. This was definitely gonna take a lot of getting used to for both of us. “I know... Though, like I told her, she is as much Cadance as the human you came to know.” Celestia explained as I curled up a little. “It was the first thing to happen, I got this weird itch not long after I zoned out on my birthday and there it was.” I said. “When Cale visited the next day for my birthday, his hair suddenly got all long and colored like some anime wig. I didn't see him again for the next two days and tried to call, he... she...” Alice continued, shaking her head as she tried to figure out what to refer me to now. “I got a phone call and I hear a vaguely familiar female voice claiming to be Cale, and saying 'it got worse'. I didn't quite get HOW much worse till Cale came to my doorstep that night looking like that.” Alice said, laughing nervously. “…Guess I was one of the lucky ones,” she muttered. As she said that, Pinkie Peach looked down a little before just abandoning normal table manners and eating her cake slice like, well, an animal. “Yes, lucky that you haven't been exiled from your home, your memories stolen and kept away from your loved one.” Celestia said bitterly, making Alice sigh a little, probably out of guilt. “That's the reason I don't envy your position at all,” Alice replied. “Unfortunately I'm betting there's a lot of more obsessed, less insightful fans who won't understand that in the least and act inappropriately jealous… or worse, if they were among the ones changed, just be thinking how it gives them a chance to make their own little brony fantasies come true.” She added with an exasperated eyeroll. “I'm sorry... It's a sore subject for me...” Celestia replied. “It's fine... in a way I know what it feels like to suddenly find out you're something you thought you weren't, and seeing how drastically it changes your life and the way others see you... even friends and family. But that's probably beside the point” Alice replied, looking over at me and a nod was exchanged between us. “So... what happened next?” I asked. Pinkie Peach pulled her face from the cake, now looking noticeably messy but seemingly unaware of it. “She blacked out while we were eating diner and discovered that she had a new 'tattoo',” she said. Celestia sighed. “Except for a few weird dreams, I didn't know about ponies so I didn't realize what it truly was. At first I thought it was only a joke from her,” she explained, gesturing to the filly. “She only described it, so I didn't know that it was actually Celestia’s cutie mark.” Pinkie Peach explained. “After all, a sun tattoo could be anything.” “Yes...” Celestia replied with another sigh. “Though I found that out later during that day. I might have panicked when I saw that the 'tattoo' was the same as a pony princess.” “Oh trust me, it definitely worried me when I thought mine looked familiar...” I replied. “Then I saw it. I wasn't sure what to make of it at first... then the other changes started happening…” “I actually had a dream of my banishment the night before receiving my cutie mark.” Celestia said, prompting me to recall that the same had happened with me. “I had sort of a... weird flash or something when I blacked out. It was a weird mess at first... then just before I woke on the fourth day I had a dream about when I--I mean Cadance was banished.” I explained, squeezing my eyes shut as I remembered the downward spiral that had happened to me from there. “I dunno what was worse... the last part of the change or noticing what had changed by the third day.” “Personally, I vote for the third day.” Pinkie Peach said, getting a chuckle from Celestia. “Only because you became an 8-year-old filly. In any case, it was the next day that I contacted Luna.” Celestia continued. “Third day was when they confiscated my man card...” I muttered bitterly. “Welcome to the club,” the filly replied. Noticing that was not a subject I was likely to want to dwell on, Alice quickly returned the spotlight to Celestia. “So you said you contacted Luna on the second day?” “Yes. I found a message from her on a forum on the internet that described my problem,” Celestia explained. “I was extremely lucky that we were in the same city so we agreed to meet up at a coffee shop…” “That was the last time I saw her as a human.” Pinkie Peach added. “I see...” Alice said, trying to take all this in. “Coffee shop... that must have been a little awkward if you already got the hair and ears.” I said, recalling that once the changes were noticeable I didn’t leave the apartment. “Only the mane.” Celestia replied with a frown. “Though I was a little paranoid about the color. I have a bad... history with pink,” she said. I guess she started off as the version with the solid pink mane rather then the flowing pastel rainbow. Still, mentioning a bad history with the color did make me cringe a little given it made up the majority of my color scheme. “...That why you seemed a little uneasy when you first saw me?” I asked. “Maybe?” Celestia asked, sighing with a hint of guilt after. “Like I said, I have very bad memories associated with them.” She explained, managing a smile after as her mood seemed to improve. “One of the good things of turning back into my pony form is that those memories are slowly losing their hold on me.” “I guess that's good then.” I said, though I couldn’t help but wonder what the cause behind the aversion to the color could have been. Not that pink was a color I was particularly fond of, but still. “Back to my story, me and Luna decided to go back to her apartment. That's when she went Hulk on me,” Celestia continued. “Yeah, you mentioned something about her Halo 2 disk?” Alice asked. Celestia gave an exasperated sigh. “Yes...” She said, suddenly just wolfing down the rest of her cake slice and prompting me to jerk back as to avoid getting any on me. “Oh, sorry...” Celestia said when she noticed my reaction, her ears drooping, getting a laugh from me. “Oh believe me, I've known you're a bit of a messy eater with cake... or were,” I said, causing the filly to start laughing. “Wait, you barely remember most of your life but you remember that?” Celestia asked me, raising an eyebrow. “I watched the episodes,” I said matter-of-factly. “There was a rather... interesting picture that got out around Ponyville once. I suspect Luna contributed it... otherwise Featherweight's quite the talented photographer.” “Oh my...” Celestia muttered, blushing deeply. Alice immediately burst into a giggle fit. “That picture was my desktop for awhile. But anyway, keep going.” Sighing as she looked a little flushed with embarrassment, Celestia continued her story. “We spent the rest of the night talking. Though Luna panicked when her ears got fluffy.” She explained. “Well I'm sure she wasn't alone.” I said. Celestia pondered for a moment before speaking again. “Well, with my obsession with my mane? I was kind of expecting it. The tail was a surprise though.” “Yeah tell me about it.” I muttered, my tail suddenly flicking as if to remind me of its presence. “Human physiology is not made to bear a pony tail...” Celestia replied, cringing a little. “Definitely not. How'd you handle it when you... found out what went missing the next day?” I asked, deciding to bring up a particularly unpleasant memory from my experiences. Surprisingly she didn’t seem that bothered. “Pink mane for a whole day, an image of a pony princess, gaining pony features. I had expected it,” she smirked a little. “And Luna made it clear and loud to everypony present what had happened during the night,” her smile then faded to a small frown. “The hormones was a different thing though...” “I... take it she wasn't happy about the gender swap?” I asked. “…Not that I was any better...” Something then caught my attention in what she’d said. “Did you say ‘everypony’ again?” “Well, it's the proper use of the word as there was only me and Luna in the apartment.” Celestia answered. “When that happened... and I felt the wings and such growing in, I was practically to the point where I was freaked out... I tried to have my favorite sandwich...” I explained, a brief frown setting in on my face. “...that didn't go down well at all.” “Let me guess, meat aversion?” Pinkie Peach asked, prompting my ears to droop in embarrassment as I let out a sigh. “Yes...” I answered softly. “Wait, you mean that I'm the only one that meat doesn't bother too much?” Celestia asked. “I don't get to enjoy meat products like I did anymore.” I muttered, facehoofing. “Why couldn't I have turned into, like, Gilda or something? Then my diet wouldn't be a problem.” “I don't enjoy meat much like anypony else I guess. I just don't have the same gag reaction toward them.” Celestia explained, giving a brief glare at the filly, who cringed a little. “I already told you that I was sorry. I should have listened to you...” She said sheepishly. I could only imagine what had happened between them. “Well…” Alice said, joining in again. “…if you turned into Gilda you'd probably be a lot harder to get along with.” She told me. True, the griffoness was a total bitch but at least she wasn’t all pink and stuff. “As opposed to one of the most feminine-looking ponies ever?” I asked, before looking back at Celestia. “Not gonna ask about the gag reaction... so what about when you woke up on the fourth day?” “Well first, I should probably tell you what happened between me and Luna on the third day,” Celestia explained. “After our breakfast, she told me that she needed to go outside for a while,” she frowned a little. “The rest of the day didn't go well.” “How so?” Alice asked. “I decided to start watching the show in hope to understand better our situation as Luna was gone.” Celestia explained, sighing a little. “It proved to be a bad idea as it nudged my past memories and I wasn't ready for it. It proved too much as I fell unconscious at the end of the 2nd episode…you need to keep in mind that at the time, I thought that the memories were fake... I didn't know the truth yet.” “The story with Nightmare Moon... I see...” I said, recalling how banishing Nightmare Moon was one of the most painful things Celestia ever had to experience when I’d seen the fourth season opener. I could only imagine what it must have been luck to experience the guilt Celestia surely had felt. “Just like when I watched Royal Canterlot Wedding and Crystal Empire.” I muttered, recalling the strange empathy I began feeling towards Cadance any time she was present in the episodes… the despair she felt when she and Twilight had to escape the mines to save Shining Armor from Chrysalis, and the terror she felt when Sombra nearly reclaimed the Crystal Empire. “We should watch the wedding later,” Celestia said, snapping me from my thoughts. “I'm curious to know who the lucky stallion was!” She said with a wink in an attempt at lightening the mood a little and causing me to blush to the point I swear if I didn’t have a fur coat I’d look completely red. “Oh you'd be surprised.” Alice said, stifling her laughter. “To return to my story, I was still alone when I woke up. It was already the afternoon...” Celestia explained. “So I decided, look in my sister's fridge and stole a few apples. Considering that I expected to lose my hands, I thought to practice with my magic a little, starting with levitating the apples to eat them.” I gave a slight, bitter laugh. “And to think I ordered a pizza... figured it as my sort of 'final meal' given how I was feeling at the time... I could no longer walk completely upright, pony features taking over...” I said. “I was actually asleep for the last changes. But, I'll talk more about that later.” Celestia continued. “I was lucky though for my magic. I remember one of my first lessons with Twilight as I was about to practice.” She paused, a slight blush present. “My first attempt did end with an apple cannon ball.” “Oh my...” I stammered, bringing my hoof instinctively to my mouth in concern. “I hope nothing got broken…” I said. “Only the apple. Thankfully, I got better fast.” Celestia replied. “Well that's good to know.” I said. Granted, it’d make for an effective weapon but when it came to trying to do mundane tasks the last thing I needed was everything becoming potentially deadly missiles. “Do you remember what I said about the hormones?” Celestia asked. “Yeah?” I gave a nod. “Well...” she began. “A mix of what I guess to have been an imbalance of hormones coupled with my earlier memory problem and worries about Luna left me in an—” she began to mutter and trail off, causing my ear to twitch. “Sorry?” I asked, making it evident I could not hear her. “I wasn't in the greatest state of mind...” the sun princess replied. “And things got worse when Luna finally came back.” “How so? What happened?” Alice asked. Celestia frowned as she prepared to answer. “She was battered, with several cuts. But the worse was when she finally told me that she triggered a trap investigating the possibility of another pony in our case. The problem was that she never told me about it.” “A trap?!” I asked, surprised. “Like a trap that... Discord set?” Alice asked. Celestia shook her head. “No, mercenaries. Most likely receiving help from a fragment of Discord though.” She said, looking at Alice “It's the reason why I asked if you let the slightest hint about what happened to Cadance to anyone.” “People are trying to kidnap them?! Good god!” Alice shuddered, I slowly started to curl up, my body beginning to shake as my fears from earlier had now seemed to be justified. “I knew it... I knew it...” I rambled. “I knew sooner or later we'd be lab toys.” I started to hyperventilate but Alice reached over and put her hand on me, giving me an assuring look that slowly calmed me down. “They underestimated Luna's power,” Celestia continued. “…but...” her voice grew saddened. “…another pony wasn't so lucky...” “Oh god... did she help them?” I asked, hoping the answer would be yes. After what I had gone through, where humans had tried to help me, I was frightened of what could have happened to a pony humans meant harm to. My fears eased slightly as Celestia nodded. “Luna helped to free the mare. Though the damages was already done...” She explained, causing my concern to rise again. “What...” I began. “Happened?” Alice asked, finishing for me. “Remember the state I first found you?” Celestia asked me. It was something I didn’t like to remember, but she had saved me and that was what truly mattered. “...Yes?” I asked. “She was actually worse when I first saw her.” Celestia said softly. I wasn’t sure if it was the horror of the concept, or the Cadance part of me affecting how I took and responded to things like this, but I could feel myself beginning to tear up. “What happened to her then....is she... okay now?” I asked. Pinkie Peach’s ears drooped. “We don't know. Though I'm sure that the presence of my sisters will help a lot. Her pony form used to be our foalsitter,” she explained. “Which is a good thing.” Celestia said, trying to instill something positive into the outcome, I suppose, though her ears drooping as well suggested a lack of certainty. “The stress of turning into a pony combined with what I assume to be both physical and mental torture made her collapse unto herself.” The memory of mental torture, the kind Discord had inflicted on me that had driven me insane for several days caused my breathing to grow rapid. Alice got up from her chair and held me, stroking my mane and attempting to help calm me down. “I… hope she’ll be okay…” I said softly, trying to stop myself from tearing up anymore. “Given time she should...” Celestia replied with a sigh. “Discord might be maniac, but he isn't cruel…” she said. “…at least compared to humans.” I’d beg to differ for the most part; the ones I’d met had been kind and showed me pity, while Discord had tormented me endlessly. Still, that wasn’t to say there weren’t bad people in the world, ones that did some unspeakably cruel things… “There are good people in the world.” I said, looking over at Alice. “But yes, there are awful ones too.” I admitted, Celestia’s story about the unfortunate pony still sending chills down my back. “What... happened after?” I asked. “Oh yes, Luna... I... shouted at her and accidently isolated myself in her bedroom.” Celestia continued, thankfully straying from that darker tale. “And then...?” I asked, beckoning her to continue. “I fell asleep. I meant to go away at night fall to go back to see my friend. In the end, it's a good thing that I didn't follow my plan.” She said. “Woke up looking like Celestia, huh?” Alice asked. Celestia gave an amused smirk. “Woke up on the floor as Celestia as a certain pony pushed me off the bed.” “How'd it feel when you discovered this change?” I asked, recalling mine to be far less then enjoyable. “How was Luna handling it?” “Surprisingly, she seemed to take it well. Even if she had learned during the night that she was the real Luna.” Celestia answered. “Uhhh how well are we talking? Not like all yippee-yay-greatest-thing-ever well right?” Alice asked. I gave a sigh and an eyeroll. “You'd have to be a village idiot more messed-up in the head then I was the last few days to react like THAT.” I said. “I think that only Pinkie Pie would react that way...” Celestia joked. “To answer the actual question, she didn't scream and she looked normal enough.” “I guess that's better then I took it.” I muttered. “Panic... denial... crying... pleading my reflection to change or go away...” “Me and Luna are rather special cases. And we didn't have an aspect of Discord to torment us.” Celestia reminded me. I suppose in a way that made sense. From the sound of it Discord hadn’t been troubling them over the course of the changes. At least not as directly as he had with me. Still, though… I had other problems. “Even without Discord I'm sure I'd have still reacted the same way... he just made it worse in the end. I.... had other problems I was also already dealing with.” I said. No doubt knowing what I was referring to, Alice hugged me tightly. “Maybe, but am I wrong to assume that Discord was the reason you went to the asylum rather than stay with your friend?” Celestia asked. “Yes... he was,” I replied. “…like I said... he made it worse in the end. I tried to come here first, but then Discord appeared in my dreams and I didn't want to burden Alice but I knew I needed help.” “Cale... Cadance... whichever.” Alice said softly. “You're not a burden, you're my best friend.” I shook my head, trying to avoid anymore tears as I just wrapped my forelegs around her and returned the embrace. Celestia and Pinkie Peach remained quiet as Alice and I just sat there, holding eachother till I was able to calm down. “But... you saw what Discord did to try to win when you were there.” I said, finally letting go and returning my attention to Celestia. “Yes...” the sun princess replied. “…Angela...” I muttered. Alice was shocked as soon as I said that name. “Oh god, no, he didn't!” she shouted. “He did...” I replied. “Aun--I mean... Celestia helped me though.” Celestia growled a little in disgust. “To use a loved one was truly a low blow.” Discord was cruel, cruel when it suited him. A being as whimsical as he was probably behaved in whatever way struck his fancy. “The worst thing was he was able to mirror everything she said to me when she left... hit me with every memory of it...” I explained, trying to keep myself calm. “He promised me--I mean Cadance... Cadance he promised Cadance heartbreak and loss when he banished her...” Celestia’s shock was immediate, as was the sudden raising in tone of her voice. “What?! You mean that those words weren't Discord's work?” She asked, a frown setting on her face. “It's a good thing that you are no longer with that...” she muttered something again, probably words that’d be inappropriate to hear from her. “No, they weren't. It was all true till we saw through Discord's trick.” I said. That had been the reason I believed it so easily, after all. Nearly all the illusion of her had said to me was things she’d said to me prior to when we’d broken up and it had been like a twisted trip down a horrible memory. My body tensed a little but then Celestia reached her hoof out and embraced me. “...You're lucky you didn't see the actual fight.” I said. “I'm sorry you had to live with... thing…” she said, probably thinking far less flattering terms for my ex. I instinctively responded with a ponylike nuzzle. It all felt so… natural, like she was a real mother figure to me; as she was that in another life, I suppose it made sense. “Th...thank you... for all you did for me... Alice, A-aunt Celestia.” I said. Celestia gently returned the nuzzle; but said nothing. “Alice?” I asked, looking over at my friend. “You... you may as well call me Cadance... I don't think there's any going back from this, honestly.” I said, my ears drooping a little. It was the name that kept instinctively coming up when I tried to remember my name, all evidence telling me that me and her were one and the same, and this body, whether I liked it or not, was used to it or not, was that of the alicorn princess of love. Alice just smiled at me. “So long as you're still my friend I have no problem with that,” she said. “I guess... the rest is history?” I asked, looking up at Celestia regarding her story. “Though I'm curious about when you found out about her,” I said, looking down at Pinkie Peach, who had by now nodded off. “...Or maybe she'd rather tell me later.” Fillies, they were adorable in every way. I had always had a fondness for foals; especially… it was weird, thinking as though I’d foalsat when that was a past life. I gently reached over and brushed my hoof through her mane, careful not to wake her. The small pink filly yawned cutely and turned over in response. “I think that later would be better.” Celestia said with a chuckle before turning toward Alice. “I'm afraid I forgot to ask even if I have a good idea of what the answer will be. Do you mind if we stay for the night?” she asked. “Sure, I'm fine with that.” Alice replied. “What fan of the show gets that kind of opportunity of having Princess Celestia as her guest?” she joked. “Fan that turns into young filly…” the filly mumbled with a yawn, prompting a slight laugh from Alice. “Well... I guess I've heard enough then.” Alice said. “Want to see the Royal Canterlot Wedding episodes? Might help you get to know your new niece better,” she offered. “That would be a good idea.” Celestia answered, looking at the half-asleep pegasus filly. “Though I should probably put a certain young filly to sleep.” “The guest room's free for use.” Alice replied. “Go just down the hall and to the right.” Pinkie Peach glared like an angry child “I'm not that—” she yawned mid-sentence. “—tired... I tried my hardest not to laugh. “No arguments young lady. It's bedtime for you.” I said. I’d babysat in the past as I was growing up, this was hardly new to me. “And that's why I'm happy that I didn't get younger.” Celestia replied, using her magic to levitate Pinkie Peach and place her on her back. “I'll be back.” She said, heading down the hall with the filly, and leaving me and Alice time to talk. “Well… that was a lot to take in.” Alice said. “Yeah, and now that I know there’s people out there hunting anyone who’s become a pony…” I muttered. “And we still have no idea what’s happened… like what do I do now? Do I just spend the rest of my life like this? Do ponies become a part of Earth like some of those fanfics I’ve bothered reading?” “I wish I knew.” Alice said. “Maybe… if Discord banished you all from Equestria, there’s gotta be a way back, right? He had to know this world existed and so there must be some way the worlds are connected.” “Going all DC Infinite Crisis on me?” I asked. “What if Equestria doesn’t exist anymore?” “I doubt that. If I were a chaos god, I’d think annihilating something completely would be too boring and simple. Remember that really, really old show Reboot? Hexidecimal had a total breakdown when she once turned the entire city to lifeless stone when Bob made her realize it made everything quiet and predictable, from a certain point of view, and therefore she’d essentially robbed herself of her own fun. I imagine Discord’s the same way.” She said. I did recall Discord had said he doesn’t turn ponies to stone, and it made sense, as there was so little one could do with stone as opposed to a living sentient being. Any sort of permanent silencing on a grand scale would make things a lot more boring for something that indulged in chaos. “Remember in the show Celestia said Discord held Equestria in a state of unrest for a long time when they first faced him, I doubt 25 years is much more then a breath to him.” Alice explained. “It’s really… eh… morbid, I know, but I think it’s possible Equestria’s gotta still exist somewhere.” “And if it does… what then?” I asked, concern growing on my face. “Does that mean I’d have to… go there? Is that where I really belong if this is me?”